Summary: Inspired by an episode of How I Met Your Mother. Elfman and Evergreen fight over what to name their child.
Pairings: Elfman/Evergreen, Strauss Sibling feels, Parental Elfman/Ellie, Parental Evergreen/Ellie, some implied Mira/Laxus, sort of parental Mira/Ellie, sort of parental Lisanna/Ellie, and general friendship feels.
Author's Note: Thank you so much for giving me over SEVEN THOUSAND REVIEWS! It means so much to me and I honestly cannot believe we have gone over another thousand so quickly. Your proper thank you (as requested by many, repeatedly,) will be up later on in the week but until then please enjoy this oneshot and know I'm grateful to the constant support and encouragement.
Mirajane, Lisanna, and the male members of the Thunder God Tribe were naturally the first visitors after Elfman and Evergreen's baby was born. Within seconds, they were all crowded round the cot and peering over as the tiny, scrunched up, face of Baby Girl Strauss, and they all cooed and melted at the sight of her.
(Laxus didn't and he refuses to admit that he had sort of smiled no matter how many times Mira and Lisanna teased him on it.)
"So," Mira said cheerfully, "have you decided on a name yet?"
Instantly the atmosphere changed as Evergreen's smile fell off and both she and Elfman glowered at one another. Lisanna shifted uncomfortably as she could have sworn that the temperature in the room dropped to freezing.
"She has no name," Evergreen said icily, "yet. Elfman wants to name her something ridiculously long."
"While Evergreen keeps insisting," Elfman glared, "on some sort of stupid, unmanly, fairy name."
"SHE'S A GIRL!" Evergreen exploded. "SHE SHOULDN'T HAVE A MANLY NAME!"
"She's a human being, flesh and blood!" Elfman shot back. "She shouldn't be lumped with something ridiculously unmanly like Mab to satisfy your fairy obsession!"
"You just had to ask," Laxus muttered into Mira's ear, "and cause this."
"It was a legitimate question!" Mira protested. "We can't keep calling her Baby Girl Strauss for the rest of her life!"
"By the sounds of it," Freed sweat-dropped, "you might have to."
"She's a child of Fairy Tail," Evergreen stressed, "her father is called Elfman, and her mother is all but a fairy, she ought to be given an appropriate fae name. Maeve or even Mavis after our founding master. Are you saying there is something unmanly about our founding master?"
"Of course not!" Elfman flushed. Blatantly embarrassed, ashamed, and furious at being made to feel the first two. "But there is nothing wrong with the names of Leanna or Mary-Jane! Or Miranna or Lisbet or Mirabel or Lisandrine or something ending with Jane."
"Oh sure, there's nothing wrong with those names," Evergreen said sarcastically, "other than they're close approximations of your sisters' names!" Evergreen snarled. "You seem to only want to name our child after your sisters and no one else!"
"Yeah," Elfman blustered, "and so what? What's wrong with that?"
"Well since you obviously love your sisters so much, more so than me," Evergreen yelled, tears sparkling in her eyes as her hormones (which have yet to settle) played mayhem with her, "then perhaps you should have a baby with them instead of me!"
"I think we should go," Lisanna said slowly, "before this gets even weirder."
"Agreed," Laxus growled.
And with that, Mira, Laxus, Lisanna, Freed, and Bickslow slowly edge out of the Strauss' household with their backs right against the wall.
(Just in case, they didn't want to get hit by a stray spell when Evergreen lost her temper entirely.)
Their exit went entirely unnoticed by Elfman and Evergreen who continued to argue until the baby cried, and then cried themselves, as they begged each other to forgive them, and just as they were about to move on Natsu and Lucy came to visit and Lucy asked after the baby's name.
The same happened when Gray and Juvia visited, and then Gajeel and Levy, and then Bisca and Alzack….
In the end, Baby Girl Strauss went through another day unnamed.
FTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT
In his deepest sleep about the manliest things, Elfman felt the small, delicate, hand, which he secretly adored, touch his shoulder. The hand was icy cold and started to pull him away from his sleep. "Elfman," Evergreen whispered fearfully, Elfman groaned, and rolled over in his sleep. He needed five more minutes, sleep was becoming a distant memory with the amount of times his baby did unmanly crying. "Elfman, wake up," she hissed, Elfman grunted in reply and snored slightly as his dreams beckoned him. "Wake up Elfman," Evergreen snarled, "I said WAKE UP!" she screamed, finally losing all patience.
Elfman fell out of the bed as Evergreen's scream was accompanied by the swiftest, most forceful, punch his jaw ever received.
"Ever," he mumbled as he rubbed his jaw, "why did you attack me in the most un…..what is it?" his indignation instantly melted as he caught Evergreen's worried and terrified expression. "Has something happened to the baby?"
"She's got a fever," Evergreen's voice was so quiet that Elfman really had to strain himself to hear her, "and Wendy is away on a mission and Porlyusica lives too far, and I don't know what to do."
"The town's infirmary," Elfman said firmly, "they always have someone on call."
There was literally about five doctors in Magnolia, and due to the small population and the fact most injuries and illnesses were inflicted on the magical population which had two physicians in their guild, there was no need for a big hospital. Therefore in the heart of Magnolia there was a small house that rotated between doctors who usually did house calls.
Quickly, without thought, Elfman and Evergreen got dressed and made sure the baby was properly wrapped up. She was three days old, three days, and already she felt like Natsu after he ate too much fire, and her little intakes of breath were increasingly becoming raspier and more of a struggle.
They hadn't even named her yet and she could die.
Elfman's heart hammered as he ran carrying both Evergreen and his baby in his arms. He had been so fearful just two days ago about holding his baby because she was so small, and fragile, and delicate, and he had been worried he would break her, and now, and now…..he might not ever be able to hold her again.
They made the infirmary within minutes and thankfully one of the doctors was there to greet them. "I'm so sorry, I just need to admit the patient in and then I can see to her immediately," the doctor said apologetically, "I'm afraid it is policy, now then, patient's name?"
"She doesn't have one yet," Evergreen flushed, "just call her Bay Girl Strauss for now."
"I am so sorry," the doctor said softly, "but I cannot admit the patient if I do not have a name and if I cannot admit her…."
Evergreen and Elfman exchanged furious and horrified looks. What stupid ass policy was this?! A baby's life was on the line! Forget the paperwork and just see to her! They couldn't lose their first child! Their only child! They needed her better now and playing about with paperwork was not going to help. What did it matter what she was called? She was their little fairy, their little elfin baby, their star, their whole world, their little girl, their-
"Ellie," they said in unison, the name and rare agreement popping out of nowhere. "Her name is Ellie," Elfman said turning to the doctor, "and if she is not seen to, soon, I will make life incredibly unpleasant for you. My big sister isn't called a Demon for her baking."
"R-r-right," the doctor gulped, "I'll get right too it."
"….And that's how we came to name her," Elfman finished as he took a big sip from his tea cup, "after all that the fighting just seemed stupid and unmanly, after all, Ellie is Ellie, and her life and well-being is more important than whether her name is fae or manly."
"I'm so glad," Mira nuzzled the top of her niece's head, "that you and Ever resolved your problems and even gladder to see my niece has made such a quick recovery."
"Me too, Ni-Chan," Lisanna pipped up, "I don't know how you did it. I would be terrified if it had been me."
"Yes, the big idiot has his uses," Evergreen smiled warmly at Elfman, "and Ellie has proven to be as stubborn and strong as any Fairy Tail member."
"Just hope she's less destructive," Laxus muttered, "I have enough bills as it is with this generation. Do you have any idea how many buildings Natsu has burnt this month?!"
Laxus' bemoaning (which has become increasingly normal the longer he was Guild Master) was ignored in favour of more cooing over Ellie Strauss.
"So," Mira said cheerfully as she reluctantly let Ellie go to Lisanna, "what exactly is Ellie short for?"
"Ella."
"Eleanor."
An electric shock of anger could literally be seen between Evergreen and Elfman as their eyes met. "Ella?!" Elfman repeated disgustedly. "How unmanly and boring."
"Eleanor?!" Evergreen shot back, equally revolted, "what do you think this is? A regency novel?!"
"Eleanor is a manly, elegant, name," Elfman said indignantly, "our baby needs a big name for the big person she'll grow into."
"Our baby is a fairy!" Evergreen shouted. "And she's beautiful. Ella means beautiful fairy woman in English. It was meant to be!"
"It would be stupid for Ellie to be short for Ella," Elfman snapped, "Ellie is longer than Ella. It would make more sense for it to be short for Eleanor!"
"Her name is Eleanor!"
"Ella!"
"Eleanor!"
"Ella!"
"Eleanor!"
"Ella!"
"Eleanor!"
"Ella!"
"Eleanor!"
"Ella!"
"Eleanor!"
"Ella!"
"Eleanor!"
"Mira-nee," Lisanna sweat-dropped, "you really got to stop starting these arguments."
"It's not my fault!" Mira huffed. "I'd asked a perfectly normal question. I can't help it that those are the two most ridiculous, hard-headed, stubborn, people in the world that obviously love arguing with each other."
"Poor Ellie," Lisanna sighed, "having to grow up with those two."
"Never mind," Mira smirked, "it just means that she'll rather spend time with her two cool, totally awesome, aunts."
Slowly, evilly, Lisanna and Mira laughed. Laxus rolled his eyes behind the account books and wondered exactly why he married into this family.
"Ella is not man enough!" Elfman retorted. "It should be Eleanor!"
"FOR THE LAST TIME ELFMAN," Evergreen screamed furiously, "WE ARE NOT GIVING OUR DAUGHTER A MANLY NAME!"
The argument never came to a conclusion but it didn't matter, Mira and Lisanna had registered Ellie's birth, and unknown to both Elfman and Evergreen, she was officially named Ellie Mirajane Lisanna Strauss…
Though it did take a long argument between the sisters that left the clerk in tears, Lisanna had wanted her name to come first.