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Dear reader:

I have received a number of comments addressing that my version of Darcy is not a virgin and how his character traits particularly hint at someone who is not comfortable with women and how could he be a lothario and a rake...

My Darcy is not a womanizer nor is he rake. I am going to explain why in my variation he has not gone the marriage bed as an innocent, like Elizabeth. And to give a small glimpse into why... I have changed this view of him due to the additional male relatives in his life, which could and have influenced him in my version of Mr Darcy. I will stress that he has not however, bedded numerous women nor has he kept scores of mistresses.

A massive shout out goes to sysa22 - For flagging the inconsistency of the ages of the Matlock siblings in correlation to the ages of their parents. LOL (rookie mistake) thank you very much for being so observant x.

I must also apologise for my hiatus... I have started a new job and for the first time since the pandemic am not working from home... it has been exhausting! I will strive to be more consistent x

MR DARCY PREFERENCES:

I have seen a few comments about how people would envision Mr Darcy with the heartthrobs of today... Ahem!

To the person who commented Adam Driver would make a good Darcy I salute you! Diremeerkat

In my mind I have a few drool worthy candidates:

*Adam Driver

*Chadwick Boseman (what a man RIP)

*Tom Hughes (Plays Albert in Victoria)

*Regè-Jean Page

*Matthew Goode...(I'll stop now... but I could go on... and on!)

Please enjoy!

V x

Please leave a comment, if you feel so inclined - I would like to say a special thanks to all those who are reading and following this story. Especially for all those who have left comments! I am so touched by your kind words and thank you for keeping me motivated and inspired to write more chapters !

Chapter Ten

In the days waiting for Mr Darcy's return, Elizabeth's time was occupied with shopping, calls and walks. The days dragged on and on and during moments where she was not needed to offer an opinion, which would promptly be ignored if it were in opposition to her mothers, she found herself wondering to the windows hoping to catch a glimpse of him. Of course, she knew she was behaving in a silly manner, as he would not be back before the weeks end, but she could not help looking for him regardless. Much had changed since that day where the introductions had been made to his cousins. And now she felt an eager apprehension to make the acquaintance of his sister. She realised that she had come no nearer to understanding what was going to be expected from her from their marriage and how involved he would expect her to be in the running of his household…. He not had anyone to help him much of his adult life and so, what would she have to fill her time? How often was she to share his bed? Is that something that should be scheduled between a married couple? Would he pay her little attention once she provided him with an heir?

It was these thoughts that had been plaguing her since the early hours of Thursday morning, as she had tirelessly paced her room. It was now near noon, and she had found a way to combat her unease. Instead, she had sat at her small writing desk and tasked herself with writing a list of fun and silly rules for them to have and it had worked a little as a way she found to soothe her growing nerves.

"Lizzy! Hurry up we want to go into Meryton!" Bellowed Lydia from downstairs.

"Yes, please hurry -" added Kitty, breaking off into a cough.

"Urgh must you always cough so close to my ear?!" Snapped Lydia, provoking Kitty to respond in the same attitude.

Elizabeth shook her head ruefully, listening to the squabbling downstairs, and hurried to ready herself lest they throttle one another.

Moments later she joined them in the sitting room where the argument was still afoot, and her dear Jane and mama were trying to mediate with little success, whilst her Aunt Gardiner sat towards the back assisting little Margaret with her letters. Mr Gardiner had had to return for business to London but would be joining them in time for the wedding, once his business had been attended to.

"Come girls, enough I am ready let us depart for Meryt -"

The sound of a commotion towards the front of the house cut her short and drew her attention.

"Are we expecting callers today Mama?" asked Mary.

"Oh, for heaven's sake Mary, how am I to know everything?! Have some compassion for my nerves!" whined Mrs Bennet sitting straighter when the tones of a man's voice greeted them. "Who could that be? That is not the sound of Bingley…"

"Perhaps it is Sir Percy?" giggled Lydia, making Mary gasp, frown, and blush all at the same time.

"Or Colonel Fitzwilliam?" giggled Kitty in response.

Turning to her sister Lydia countered. "Hmmm or the Lord Viscount?"

"No, you cannot be a Lord Viscount, Lydia." Kitty frowned giving an eye roll.

"Yes, you can!" huffed Lydia.

Kitty opened her mouth and drew a deep breath in preparation to launch into another spat, when the voices grew closer, and automatically they all fell into their usual arrangements to show them to their best advantages as their Mama had stressed whenever callers came.

"I have to say Mr Collins, though it is unexpected I am quite diverted to have your company. After the recent happenings at Longbourn of late, I find myself quite entertained by the number callers we have been recipient to." Said Mr Bennet entering followed by a stout, rotund and balding gentleman in a parson's attire.

"Ah here they are!" said Mr Bennet entering the room.

On his heels was a heavy-set man of middling height and thinning pate of dark hair, despite looking to be in his mid to late twenties. Carrying himself to stand before them in a grave and stately way he bowed before Mr Bennet had a chance to state his name.

"Ugh!" sighed Lydia disappointedly as she released a breath and relaxed her posture.

"My dear cousin, how wonderful it is for me to make the acquaintance of your fair daughters, at last." He spoke puffing his chest out proudly.

"Indeed," replied Mr Bennet dryly. "My dears," he continued turning to his wife and daughters faces. "This is my cousin Mr Collins; he has quite pre-empted me upon his arrival as I had only received his letter stating his intentions last week. It appears I have neglected my correspondence once again!"

"M-Mr Collins," stuttered Mrs Bennet paling.

"My dear madam; I do not need for you to humble yourself before me." Said Mr Collins mistaking her pallor for embarrassment instead of the rage and fear she felt at this abrupt appearance of the heir to Longbourn.

Oblivious Mr Collins continued.

"You must give me leave to flatter myself, as I have said to her ladyship on many occasions, my situation in life gives me the unpretentious air of a clergyman who by no means expects his flock to stand upon ceremony." He finished self-importantly.

"We are your family Mr Collins and thusly this distinction bares no merit." Replied Mrs Bennet pursing her lips and looking to her husband pointedly.

"Yes, well, I think we are jumping a little ahead of ourselves. We should make the necessary introductions, as I am not sire to all in the room." said Mr Bennet, who then moved through the introductions.

Mrs Bennet watched silently as Mr Collins took in the visage of each of her beautiful daughters and was thankful, she had not relied upon matching one of her girls to this man. She recalled how she had crowed with delight when Mr Bennet had told her of how Collins had mentioned his intention to marry one of the girls clearly in his letter. Mrs Bennet had pestered her husband night and day for an accurate description of his visage but to no avail, as Mr Bennet had never met him. Gladly they were no longer indebted to this man whose words now seemed conceited and pompous… however, it might still be an idea to match him with Mary or Kitty. Then Longbourn could continue to prosper in their bloodline. Mrs Bennet mused to herself. She could never sacrifice her Jane or Lydia to such a marriage, Lizzy might have been perfect as she could rule over such a man without issue, but she had made her Mama so proud in her betrothal, that it would be down to Kitty or Mary.

"Mr Collins, my girls were just off to Meryton. I'm sure after travelling you should relish the opportunity to stretch your legs." Said Mrs Bennet.

"Urgh," groaned Kitty and Lydia in unison.

"Your solicitousness does you a great merit, Mrs Bennet I should like that very much. Lady Catherine de Bourgh, always says the benefits of walking go a great way to blessing your day." He replied with a sickly-sweet grin towards Jane, who fidgeted in discomfort.

"Lady Catherine de who?" asked Mr Bennet, unable to resist the probe, for the man had referenced her ladyship in every paragraph in his letter.

"My patroness in Kent. The esteemed Lady Catherine de Bourgh of Rosings Park, of which my humble estate; Hunsford, abuts. We are separated by a mere lane! Indeed, she is a beacon and font of knowledge and condescension. Her daughter; the sole heiress of Rosings is a diamond of the first water." He said finishing dramatically placing a finger to his lips and breathing in a deep sigh of ostentatious delight.

"Excellent." Said Mr Bennet. "Well, I suspect you all wish to get going when there are such delights and fabrics to be discovered and fought over."

Mr Collins wasted no time in moving over to Jane and offering his arm. Accepting it she turned almost desperately to their aunt.

"Aunt will you not join us?" Jane implored.

"No, you girls go and have fun. We are quite content here and will await your return." Cut in Mrs Bennet shooing them out of the sitting room.

"What a fortunate happenstance you appeared when you did, Mr Collins. For you are still in your outerwear." Commented Mary.

"It is, indeed, Miss Maggie." Replied Collins.

"It is Mary, Mr Collins." Corrected Jane.

"Who?"

"It is Miss Mary, not Miss Maggie." She elaborated.

"Forgive me, Cousin Mary. I meant no offence." He turned to Mary and offered a bow.

"You are forgiven, sir." She said, noting how he barely spared her a glance, his gaze constantly flitting between Jane and Elizabeth. Swallowing a sigh, her mind wondered to Sir Percy as she thought on what he might be doing at that moment, and how her walk would be far more diverting should he be present.

Once outside, Kitty and Lydia pushed on ahead, with Elizabeth beside Jane to aid her in her trying conversations with Mr Collins, and Mary trailing behind for the entirety of the walk.

When they entered Meryton the came across Charlotte Lucas, who Mary had always had a fondness for. She considered them quite similar but of course Charlotte was not unlike the gentleman of their acquaintance and seemed too prefer the society of her sister over her and so she departed for the book seller; Mr Wordsmith to pass the time, her younger sisters shared no such interest and went straight towards the shop situated near a group of militia men.

"Charlotte!" exclaimed Elizabeth happily. "I did not expect to see you in town. What a happy surprise!"

"Ahem,' a small cough behind her drew Elizabeth's attention.

"Allow me to introduce our cousin, Mr Collins. He has just arrived from Kent." Said Elizabeth a little irritable. "Mr Collins, this is my good friend Miss Charlotte Lucas."

"How do you do?" said Charlotte as she bobbed a curtsey.

"I am most pleased to make any acquaintance of my fair cousins." He said somewhat breathlessly. Mr Collins drew out his already moist handkerchief and mopped at his brow and swiping at the sweat now beading upon his upper lip.

Charlotte threw an inconspicuous look to Jane but smiled and gave slight incline of her head to Mr Collins.

"Lizzy!" came Lydia's bellow from across the street. "You must come and say hello to our friends."

The colour rose in Elizabeth's face at the glances received from the other people milling about. She despised when Lydia behaved in such a way, particularly as she knew it was near impossible to reprimand her without causing a larger spectacle. However, before she could make a move towards her younger sister, she, Kitty, and the men in red coats started towards them. There were four men in total, all familiar to her as they had met earlier in the week when shopping for the ball and wedding. It was not until they were almost upon them that she noticed another gentleman towards the back of the group, not in regimentals. He was a very handsome looking man. Tall and dark, with a thick crop of dark waves upon his head, and a good figure and fine attire.

"Look who it is! It is Captain Denny, Sanderson and Chamberlain and with them they have just introduced to Mr George Wickham!" Said Lydia all giggles and struggling to part her gaze from their new acquaintance. "And these are our sisters Jane and Elizabeth, our cousin Mr Collins and our good friend Charlotte Lucas."

"Pleased to make your acquaintance," said Mr Wickham bowing low as the ladies made their curtsey's.

"What brings you to our small town of Meryton Mr Wickham?" asked Elizabeth intrigued by the handsome gentleman.

"I am to join the regiment and do my part for kin and country." He explained with charming smile.

Kitty giggled and whispered something regarding Mr Wickham in a uniform, which made the gentleman look away abashed.

"Such an honourable cause, young man. We are all in awe of the bravery of our soldiers and though many do not come back, I take it as my duty to pray for their souls. We are all eternally indebted to those who lose their lives in the fight to keep us safe and for those whose resort to cowardice on the battle field." Spoke Mr Collins not realising the delivery of his words. "Lady Catherine de Bourgh my exalted patroness always tells me, we are to not think upon the sad and inevitabilities of our mortality but accept them. Mr Collins says she -" Mr Collins brought his hand to his lips in an effort to stop his speech, when Elizabeth spoke over him, unable to bare anymore of his unfeeling speech.

"Will you remain long in Hertfordshire, sirs? I ask as there is to be a ball at Netherfield in a few days hence and we should love to have you all in attendance of it."

"What a great idea Lizzy, we shall all have such a merry time dancing!" gasped Lydia excited looking up at Mr Wickham though, but he did not notice it, his attention fixed on Elizabeth.

"We should be most honoured to attend, though I feel it would be best to wait for an invitation before we attend." Mr Wickham replied to Elizabeth, bestowing a her a warm smile which heated her cheeks.

"It shall be no matter, sir, I have issued the invitation and have the authority to do so." She said smiling back.

It did not take long for everyone to decide to make their way back to Longbourn to take tea and continue their conversations. They formed into small groups as they had been when they had met on their way back. Elizabeth tried to appear responsive to the conversation in her group with Charlotte, Jane, and Mr Collins, but it was near impossible as she had her ears straining to hear the conversation behind her. There was something about Mr Wickham that seemed to have grabbed her attention and she wished to know more of him.

Suddenly Jane stopped walking.

"Jane what is the matter?" asked Charlotte.

"Where is Mary?!" she asked, eyes wide.

Panic flared and they all looked about, horrified that they had forgotten one of their sisters in town.

"I am right here sister's." Came Mary's voice irritably from slightly behind and to the side.

"Oh, Mary! Please come and walk with us my dear." Said Jane urging their sister closer.

How could they have almost left her behind?! Though Elizabeth guiltily.

"Miss Elizabeth, forgive me for intruding upon your thoughts, but you appeared a little distressed. Might I be of any help?" came the pleasing address of Mr Wickham.

"Forgive me, I was merely wool gathering." She brushed off as they now fell into a space between both parties.

"I wished to congratulate you on your upcoming nuptials', though your sisters, Miss Kitty and Miss Lydia tell me it is not a matched you are altogether happy over." He said speaking in softer tones.

"Ah, I would not believe everything my sisters tell you." she replied humorously. "I thank you for your well wishes."

"I understand you are to marry a man known to me. Mr Darcy of Pemberley…" he said looking sideways at her.

"You are acquainted with Mr Darcy?" she asked, shocked at this connexion.

"I grew up with Mr Darcy. And though it pains me to say, and I would not wish to say anything bad towards your betrothed, but we fell out after his father passed. It may be a little forward of me perhaps, but I am hoping for this new friendship with yourself might hope help to mend bridges between us." He said earnestly.

Shocked, Elizabeth turned to him and looked at him considerately.

"It is forward indeed, but I cannot say whether it follows that it is unwelcome. Not until I have heard the full story, Mr Wickham." She replied cautiously.

He looked behind to check that they would not be overheard, before nodding his ascent.

"Mr Darcy and I grew up together. My own excellent father was Mr Darcy's father's steward at Pemberley. We were raised almost as brothers after my father passed away, his father even funded my tuition at Cambridge… Sadly, when old Mr Darcy passed away his son became distant and cold in his grief and refused me that which was left to me in his fathers will. I can completely understand it, and I bare him no ill will. I can only imagine how it must feel to be so young and suddenly master of so much. I only wish now to reconnect. We were truly the best of friends and I miss him..." he said in obvious pain of speaking of such a subject and looking away.

"I cannot speak for Mr Darcy, but I am terribly sorry for the loss of a friendship that clearly meant so much to you." she said placing a gentle hand briefly on his arm. "I believe it is my turn to be forward, Mr Wickham, but will you consent to telling me what it is you were promised in the late Mr Darcy's will." She asked softly.

He waved a hand dismissively through the air, "It is of little consequence. I was left a living and some funds… but Material things are insignificant to true friendships and familial ties."

"But that is shocking! You could have been left a comfortable living and instead you are now putting yourself in mortal danger and off to France."

"In his defence he does not know that my life has led me here, and though I had always envisioned myself for the living of the Kympton Parish, I was raised for that exact purpose. I cannot find it in myself to resent being offered the opportunity to do my patriotic duty." He spoke with passion and no detectable resentment that Elizabeth struggled to maintain her equanimity.

"I know you are trying to make these things better, but I fear this only makes it worse. That he has not even kept abreast of your circumstances is appalling, Mr Wickham. And yet you bear him no ill will. I am not sure I could be as accepting if I was in such a position." She spoke offended on his behalf.

"It is hard to explain but having experienced my own grief at the loss of both parents, I understand his pain and struggle. I was lucky enough to have second father to guide me, I was open to it. Darcy sadly, was not, I am sure you have noticed his natural disposition is nothing inviting, and as you can imagine it only became more pronounced under those circumstances and he shut himself away at Pemberley. With regards to myself... I feel that a part of him… no, I have said enough." He said pulling himself up short.

"No, go on. Please, I must know of his past if my marriage is to work." Elizabeth urged as they meandered along.

"I should not, I fear I may do more bad than good with my comments. I am sure to have given your hand to Mr Darcy, he must be much changed from the man he was then." He dissembled.

"You have nothing to fear from telling me." Elizabeth replied quickly, she had always been too curious for her own good.

"It is just at times Darcy can be proud, it comes with being a 'Darcy'. I think he took it as his father's preference for me over him that I, a mere steward's son, was bequeathed quite a generous sum and consequential living in his fathers' will. There were always moments of rivalry and jealousy between us, as with any boys growing up, but his grief only seemed to exacerbate it. Now, as a soldier and knowing of what I might face. Though, it is not a happy thought, your cousin was correct that I may not return to these shores..." he trailed off looking down at her with feeling. "I do not wish to leave without making things right between us."

"I am very sorry, Mr Wickham, my cousin should not have spoken so. As for Mr Darcy, I fear I am not sure how much influence I might have over him, but I will broach the subject. I should like to be of help if I may?"

"No. Please, I would not put you into such a position. This is something I must do myself, but I will be glad to have a friend, if need be, however, it will be unlikely we are to have occasion to mix, for he does not like those he considers beneath him. He has unfortunately taken Georgiana from me, as he was like a brother to me, she for all intents and purposes was my little sister. Though, what could she do but support her nearest relation."

"I understand and will not press the matter with him."

"I am grateful, and I am touched you have listened to me. It is rare to find someone you can wholly confide in." he said as they started up the drive for Longbourn.

"You are most welcome. It has pleased me to make your acquaintance this day. And I do hope you will come to the ball next Tuesday."

"I will be most obliged to come, I hope on such a joyous occasion he might be happy to see me, but if not, you have my assurances that I will leave before anything unpleasant might arise." He said a frown pulling at his brow. "I should like to offer my condolences for his cousin Anne."

"Anne?" Elizabeth asked puzzled.

"Yes, he was betrothed to his cousin Anne from their cradles, but she was a sickly creature. I assumed she was now deceased should he have offered for you… forgive me. I fear I have said something I should not have." Said Mr Wickham contritely seeing her pale countenance.

"I have not heard mention of this Anne?" she said her blood roaring in her ears.

"Forget I had mentioned her, I am sure it must be as I feared and why should he mention it if it were the case that she was no longer with us. We rarely discuss those that we have lost if the remembrances cause us pain. Please, my friend, you have been so good listening to my sad story, I do not wish to cause you any sadness too." He said leaning closer.

"No, I suppose he would not have had cause to mention her… Pain? They were in love?" she asked hating that her voice shook.

When Mr Wickham failed to find any words, he looked down into his hands uncomfortable as he fiddled with his gloves, confirming her fears.

"Miss Elizabeth…" he tried.

"No, please. I am not cross, and I do not wish for this to make you feel uncomfortable, I am still pleased to have formed an acquaintance with you. I fear I have simply overtaxed myself and must lie down. I beg you will excuse me." Said Elizabeth as they neared the house. "Jane, I have a slight headache, please make my apologies to Mama, but I must excuse myself."

Without waiting for a response, she curtseyed and walked into the house, barely aware of her movements. Going through the rituals of removing her outerwear and heading for the safety of her room.

Turning the key in the lock she flung herself onto her bed and let her tears run freely.

"How can I marry a man whose heart belongs to another?" she sobbed.

"Lizzy? Lizzy?" said Jane noticing her sister's distant expression as she was staring out at the inky-black night.

"Forgive me Jane I have much on mind to attend to. Pray continue, I am all ears." Elizabeth said, forcing herself to focus on her sister.

When Elizabeth had finally managed to calm herself and return downstairs for dinner, their new acquaintances had left. Jane had thrown her cautious looks whenever Mr Collins allowed her a moments reprieve, luckily the news of her engagement had spared her his attentions, and though their Mama had apparently informed him Jane was most likely to be engaged soon he did not allow it to deter him, but instead try harder to win her heart. Their Aunt Gardiner had excused herself claiming she was fatigued and taken a tray in her room with Margaret, and Elizabeth feared she might be unwell. She would speak with her on the morrow and try to get her advice regarding Mr Wickham's claims about Mr Darcy.

After Dinner, she and Jane had both chosen to sneak out to the gardens with a couple of lanterns and sit on their favourite tree swing together, when Mr Collins had been engaged elsewhere. It had been something they had done, ever since either of them could remember, the gentle sway of the swing soothing when they had been upset and exhilarating when they had been in search of adventure. Now wrapped beneath a single blanket it brought the comfort of the familiar, when so much was rapidly changing.

"Are you well? You have been so distracted of late and… well I have been thinking of what I said the night before you agreed to become engaged to Mr Darcy. I feel such tremendous guilt over it -"

"Dearest what are you saying? Why should you feel any guilt?" Elizabeth asked in shocked breath.

"Because I was completely and utterly selfish! I am so ashamed that I made it sound as though my happiness with Mr Bingley relied upon your marrying Mr Darcy. When really that was not what I had meant at all. And now you have met Mr Wickham and I can see how much you like him, and he you. I feel the worst sort of person."

"Oh, Jane I know that is not what you had meant! Do not be a goose, I comprehended you perfectly! You were telling me that if we were lucky enough, we should not have to spend so much time apart in the event of us marrying two gentleman who are such close friends." She reassured. "I admit I am taken with Mr Wickham, but I am content with my decision. If I had had a season, I would have had more than one gentleman I might have formed a friendship with, but it does not mean that any of them would have proposed. Truly, I am content." She lied. She had not confided in Jane what had happened for the sake of her pride, it was too late to call of the wedding and would cast her and her sister under unfavourable scrutiny. Particularly as it was a scandal that had led to the betrothal!

"I am glad, but I confess that there is something else I feel I need to say…" Jane said a little anxiously.

"Go ahead."

"I am fearful that perhaps we misunderstood the depth of Mr Bingley and Mr Darcy's friendship."

"How so?"

"Well, he seems to have more relatives than I had assumed. Mr Darcy and his cousins seemed to share a closeness that we do as sisters. What if I was wrong and we are separated far more than we would have anticipated." Jane said worrying at her bottom lip.

Pulling the large coverlet up about both of their shoulders, Elizabeth drew her sister closer.

"Jane, I believe our separation is inevitable, if not marriage, then the arrival of children and our confinements will keep us apart. We must, however, promise to be present for every important moment in the other's life where possible. Agreed?" she said holding out her little finger.

"Agreed!" said Jane, linking her little finger with Elizabeth's.

"We will be sure to build these swings on every other tree in our homes, for moments such as these."

"Oh Lizzy!" giggled Jane. "I think Mr Darcy's property may be a little too vast for such things."

"Nonsense! What good is it to be so rich if you cannot have eccentricates? Let us give the people something to whisper about." She winked, "We should count ourselves very fortunate indeed! Could you imagine if neither of us were attached, mama would have promised one of us to Mr Collins and I am certain it would have been I!"

"Do not pretend you would have said yes, Lizzy." Teased Jane.

"How well you know me!" she laughed leaning her head upon Jane shoulder as they fell into companiable silence.

"You are content with your situation in life, then?"

"Truthfully I am conflicted. Mr Darcy seems to look at me mostly as though I have done something wrong... but in the rare occasions that he does smile... I confess it is quite life altering." She finished on a sigh.

"Yes, I quite comprehend that feeling. It is the same with Mr Bingley..." Jane agreed laying her head upon Elizabeth's.

A bubble of laughter escaped Elizabeth and she quickly clapped her hand over her mouth to muffle it. Jane straightened and looked at her sister questioningly.

"Forgive me dearest but Mr Bingley does smile with great alacrity and frequency!"

"Oh, stop it Lizzy! It is quite a different smile when he bestows one upon me, I assure you."

"I do not doubt it. But dearest has he declared himself to you yet?"

"No, he has not." Jane replied flatly turning her face away.

Clasping her elder sisters' hand, she gave it a squeeze reassuringly.

"I am sure, he very soon will." Assured Elizabeth.

They both fell into silence breathing in the cold night air. Jane despairing over Mr Bingley but trying to put a brave face over her troubles, she began to sing softly. Elizabeth saw through her sister's pretence, noting Jane's faraway look and sad turn of her lips. At least where Jane was concerned, she would feel no compunction over questioning Mr Darcy about Mr Bingley's intentions.