Summary: An alternative look to the most recent arc in the Manga. What if Natsu was recognised as the Emperor's brother?
Pairings: Gray/Natsu friendship, Natsu/Lucy, some Happy/Charle if you squint, general friendship feels, and some brotherly Zeref/Natsu.
Author's Note: Thank you all so much for giving me over SEVENTY THREE HUNDRED reviews! Hope you enjoy this bout of silliness that some have you requested after 'Demon Master Natsu'.
Gray and Natsu were prepared to launch themselves at the arsehole who decided it was okay to harm Mest and kidnap the girls when the mage suddenly gasped.
"Your Royal Highness!" the mage suddenly threw himself onto the floor and bowed on all fours. "I am deeply sorry for not recognising you earlier. I am humbled and honoured by your presence."
"…..What?" Natsu and Gray both blinked.
They had been expecting a huge blow out fight where they kicked arse and maybe destroy a few buildings….not grovelling.
"It has been many, many, years since you have been home Prince Natsu," the mage continued, repetitively bowing, "It is such an honour that I am the one to greet you upon your return."
"Prince Natsu?!" Gray repeated disbelievingly. "That guy?" he pointed at Natsu. "The one that fart and belches in public and has the manners of a dung beetle."
"Take that back!" Natsu shouted. "I don't have manners of a dung beetle."
"No you're right," Gray agreed, Natsu looked smug and had already turned back to the enemy when Gray continued; "the dung beetle has more manners than you do."
Natsu whirled back furiously. "Why you little-"
"Can you guys please focus on the weirdo who kidnapped the girls instead of fighting amongst yourselves?!" Mest screamed. "You can insult each other later."
Both Natsu and Gray froze at that. They had temporarily forgotten that this guy with the weird space magic thing had already transported Erza and Lucy to God knows where.
…oops?
Natsu turned back furiously to the man. His body spontaneously bursting into flames. "You!" Natsu snarled in a beastly manner.
The mage bowed deeply. "Yes Your Highness?"
"Give me back Erza and Lucy, now!" Natsu commanded, his eyes glowing a demonic gold, and scales beginning to form on his cheek. "Or I will-"
"As you wish," the mage clicked his fingers, and suddenly Erza and Lucy fell out of the sky and crashed onto the ground. "Is there anything else you require, Your Highness?"
Gray and Natsu both blinked stupidly at that. Natsu's fire, scales, and demonic gleam all vanished within an instant.
"….that," Gray said eventually as Natsu helped Lucy up and Erza cracked her knuckles, ready to punch her captor's lights out, "was way too easy. Most boring fight yet. Soon he'll give you a tour of this country and the prison Gramps is in."
"Would you like a tour of your nation and be guided back to the palace, Your Highness?"
Gray collapsed out of the sheer stupidity of it.
FTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFFTFT
Gray didn't know what was worse, being trapped in stupid box filled to the brim with silk and cushions with Erza fiddling with her weapons looking jumpy, Mest glaring a hole at one of the curtains, Natsu and Wendy stricken with motion sickness, and Lucy and the Exceeds trying to soothe them, or the obnoxious cheering that accompanied all of this.
"LONG LIVE PRINCE NATSU!"
"HURRAH!"
"GOD BLESS YOU, YOUR HIGHNESS!"
Natsu groaned pathetically as the Royal Litter continued to move and disturb his stomach. Wendy also moaned and the pair of them turned green as the bearers jolted them while they stumbled over a porthole.
Natsu's face bloated. "I'm gonna be sick!" he cried out.
"Not in here!" Lucy screeched. "We're cramped as it is. We don't need your vomit stinking up the place!"
And with all the gentleness that Lucy always gave when infuriated, she grabbed Natsu by the hair and held his head out of the litter just in time for him to puke all over the ground.
"OH MY GOD!" A nearby person screamed. "ROYAL VOMIT! I'M RICH."
Everyone watched with disgusted horror as some insane royal fanatic swooped in to grab the sick with their bare hands. They were instantly attacked by another weirdo who wanted a piece of Natsu's vomit.
"This country," Gray managed to move his lips to form actual words, "is both insane and stupid."
Natsu moaned his agreement and puked up some more.
FTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT
Eventually, after what seemed like hundreds of years with all the screaming, cheering, and Natsu vomiting, they reached the palace.
Everyone was very pleased to be back on normal ground. Natsu and Wendy went as far as even kissing it, it had been so long they weren't nauseous. They were then struck with awe as they took in the grandeur of the palace and soon enough they were greeted by a blonde woman in a skimpy outfit that put Lucy's clothes to shame. Her magic was also terrifyingly powerful that everyone felt it and Natsu for some reason gripped his arm for a moment.
The woman curtsied deeply to Natsu and before they knew it they were dragged round the palace, shown the epically large library (they had to forcefully drag Lucy out…..kicking and screaming), the airy parlours and drawing rooms, the many bed chambers, the gardens, the greenhouse, the gigantic, clinical, kitchen (and then Happy had to be forced out kicking and screaming), the ballroom, and then -
"This is the Gallery of His Royal Highness, Prince Natsu," the blonde woman said as they were dragged across the longest hallway in existence, thoroughly decorated with creepiest, beautified, portraits of Natsu. "Each painting details certain aspects of his life, most recently his wooing of the beautiful Lady Lucy that has finally cumulated into their betrothal, on the right here you will see a painting by the Emperor himself depicting their first meeting, in fact every painting here is painted by-"
"Wait, wait, wait," Lucy interrupted, "what is this about a betrothal?!"
"Everyone knows that the Emperor signed a betrothal contract with Jude Heartfilla in the last months of his life ensuring the happiness of his royal brother," the woman said snootily, "We have heard a great deal the epic romance between Prince Natsu and his Celestial Maiden."
"My father signed a betrothal contract, again?!" Lucy hissed. "That's it! I'm going to find a way to bring him back from the dead so I can kill him again."
"Why?" Natsu asked, looking like a puppy that has been kicked. "Do you not want to marry me? Is there something wrong with me?"
"What?! No!" Lucy flushed. "I just meant…..I mean…..why are you asking this anyway?!"
"Well," Natsu's cheeks were equally pink as Lucy, "it's just…..rude….you know…."
Fortunately for both Natsu and Lucy everyone had lost interest in them and were too busy examining the paintings with disturbed or intrigued looks on their faces. "These paintings are extremely inaccurate," Happy observed, "Lucy is nowhere near as pretty as that lady."
"What was that?!" Lucy barked. "Come here so I can tear your whiskers out one by one!"
"I don't know why you're being so rude to Lucy," Charle sniffed, "though you do have a point," she murmured as she eyed a painting of Lucy in Natsu's arms, neither of them looked like Natsu and Lucy. They looked like vampire/models/insert any other unnaturally beautiful thing here. "But that doesn't change the fact that you're not a horse," she jabbed a paw at the blue horse that Natsu sat on.
"Still," Happy puffed his chest out, "I am a noble steed."
"You're an idiot," Charle muttered.
"I like mine," Wendy said wistfully, her portrait of herself healing Natsu depicted her to be tall, long-legged, and big breasted. "I hope that's what I look like after puberty."
"Yes," the blonde woman said in a bored tone, "we have portraits of His Royal Highness' personal medic, his noble steed, his beautiful betrothed, the Lady Lucy, his greatest and most fearsome knight, Sir Erza," Erza smirked as she took in her own personal portrait, she looked fierce as she defeated her enemies with one blow while protecting Natsu. "And then, of course, his perverted, gay, manservant Gray Fullbuster."
"WHAT?!"
"Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!"
"Natsu," Gray glowered at the pink lump that was rolling on the floor in hysterical laughter, "SHUT UP!"
"Don't speak to your prince like that gay manservant," Natsu grinned, "I may have to have you executed."
"We can arrange that," the blonde woman stepped in, "if that's Your Highness' wish."
"…."
"…"
"…"
"…..shall we continue with the tour?" Mest coughed as the awkward silence was beginning to become never-ending.
"Yes!" Natsu cried out. "Let's continue with the tour. Show me more of these paintings."
The woman curtsied and soon enough they were forced to ensure paintings of Natsu looking far prettier than he actually was. Paintings of Lisanna and raising Happy, portraits of Natsu at various ages, looking adorable, many of Igneel which made Natsu looked a little sad and wistful, and then they reached the baby paintings….
"…and finally, we reach the last section of our Prince Natsu collection. Here is a stunning painting of Prince Natsu during his potty training."
BOOM!
Makarov was extremely confused.
One minute he was about to be suffocated to death by the evil emperor (who just had to be Zeref, didn't he?) and then the next he was being carried away from a burning castle in the arms of an exasperated Mest while Gray cackled away like a lunatic.
"IT'S NOT FUNNY GRAY!"
"Oh," Gray smirked, tears of mirth in his eyes, "but it is Prince Natsu of the Potty."
"SHUT UP PERVERTED GAY MANSERVANT!"
"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!"
"YOU HEARD ME!"
"WHY YOU LITTLE-"
"CAN YOU TWO SHUT THE FUCK UP AND KEEP RUNNING?!" Erza screamed furiously. "OTHERWISE I WILL HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO GUY YOU TWO MORONS!"
Makarov wondered if it was too late to back to prison, so he didn't have to deal with this drama.
…..meanwhile, staring at his burning palace, all too keenly aware that his servants and people were panicking around him, Zeref's eyes narrowed furiously.
"He burnt down my entire art collection," Zeref murmured in a dangerous voice, "this is worse than the time he destroyed my alchemy project. I don't care what mother said. This. Means. War."