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Chapter 18

Jane woke up with a start. She looked around the familiar room in the moonlight. Elizabeth slept next to her a small frown marring her beautiful face. Lizzy had sacrificed her chances of making a love match so that their family didn't have to worry about anything and for her and Mr Bingley.

Jane groaned quietly, put a pillow over her face. I am not going to feel guilty about this. I am not going to feel guilty about this. The small consolation and comfort to Jane would mean that she and Lizzy would not be apart as often once married with Mr Bingley and Mr Darcy's friendship, this thought had been a long-time fear of theirs as they had reached marrying age.

Please Lord let my sister find happiness in her marriage, I shall never be able to live with myself if she is miserable and I am happy. Jane flinched at the unpleasant thoughts churning in her mind and looked at Lizzy as she mumbled a sound in her slumber. Smiling sadly, she rolled snuggling close to her sister for the last time and closed her eyes listening to her rhythmic breathing before allowing a few tears to leak from the corner of her eyes.

"I will miss these simpler times as Bennet sisters," she whispered into the darkness, "I am not ready for you to marry this day – but I vow we will not be long separated."

Reaching down she clasped Lizzy's hand within her own andbrought them to rest in the space between them. It had been an odd few days since the ball… Lizzy had changed and she could not quite put her finger on why or how… she was the same in fundamentals. The change in her had been subtle as a seriousness had exhibited itself in her with a determined air about it. Perhaps that is what happened to a woman when she was to marry and move into the next division of her life… Neither Mr Bingley or Mr Darcy had visited since the ball… the only visitors they had call on them had been Charlotte, Lady Matlock, Miss Dorothea, and Miss Darcy. Miss Francesca had not been to call as she had been spending time with Lady Rothford who was having a trying pregnancy due to her morning sickness.

Miss Darcy had come with small gifts for them; butterfly dance card holders which she had made and decorated herself which her younger sisters had been very pleased with. Miss Darcy's friendship had been a welcome distraction and a good image and example of how young ladies should be. Kitty and Lydia had been forlorn at the disinterest they had received from Mr Wickham and had not chanced upon him when they had gone into Meryton for that sole purpose. However, since spending time with Miss Darcy the girls were in awe of her and were desperate to impress her, and dress in the same fashions, which left no room to pine after any soldiers.

Jane was also certain that Miss Darcy had slipped a private note to Lizzy in her gift, and she had hoped it was from Mr Darcy. Though, they hadn't had a moment to speak about it with all the wedding preparations. This evening they were going to but then Mama had taken Lizzy to her bedroom to discuss the 'marriage bed' and Jane had intended to wait for her and fallen asleep waiting. Hopefully there will be time to speak tomorrow alone before the wedding, thought Jane before at long last she drifted into sleep.

Elizabeth awoke to find Jane asleep facing her and holding one of her hands. Smiling she lifted her head to look to the window and could see it was still early and the sun had not yet fully risen. Resting her head back to the pillow she rubbed at her tired eyes after an unrestful sleep where she had been aware of every movement she had made. Listening intently, she could hear slight movements below stairs as the first preparations for her wedding were already underway. The thought of starting the monumental task of getting ready had her skin itching she needed to expel some of her nerves.

Well, I might as well get some exercise out of the way now and then Mama's fussing will not be too much to bear… I hope! With that thought, she climbed out of bed and resolutely and quietly made her way to her own bedroom to ready herself for a quick walk in the crisp morning air.

Once dressed she sat upon her bed and reached for her present from Georgiana on her bedside table and retrieved the small note from Mr Darcy hidden within it.

Miss Elizabeth,

I am sorry I have not had the pleasure of your company since the ball. As I have been warned it is bad luck for you and me to see one another before the wedding… I would have you know that if it were not for old superstitions, I should have very much liked some time in your company.

With affection,

Yours,

F.D

"With affection…" she whispered to herself with a heavy sigh, her mind travelling over last evening's conversation with her mother.

"Now Lizzy, we must have the talk about your… ahem… marital duties. Do not be so missish, I do not exactly revel in being the one to have this conversation with you! And to think I have so many daughters!" Mrs Bennet had exclaimed lifting her eyes to the heavens. "Well, one can only hope it will get easier with practice." She had added smiling and patting Elizabeth's knee.

"Pray continue so we can have it done with." Elizabeth had begged.

"Yes, well… goodness I am at a loss of where to start… tomorrow evening your husband will come to you and you are to be ready for him in your nightdress and in the bed under the covers. He will then join you and do the…," she gestured wildly with her hands before saying, "Deed… and that will be that. You will hopefully get with child quickly and pray that you have a son, and he will only put you through the whole birthing ordeal once more!"

"The 'deed'? that is not very helpful Mama! What does the 'deed' entail? I do not want to look silly not know what to do as surely he has done this before…" she'd grumbled worrying at her lower lip.

"What nonsense your husband is supposed to show you these things. Only my daughter would worry that he has sowed his oats about town. It is not limited to town I assure you. You think your father was as pure as the driven snow when we wed-."

"Mama!" Elizabeth had cut in embarrassed.

"Come now Lizzy, you will soon be a woman just like and these things will not be such an embarrassment for you. Now Mr Darcy will be different in that gentlemen of wealth and standing do not want a wanton wife. They will expect you to be demure and not overly enthusiastic, and above all ignorant of the way these things happen. He will consider it a sign of ill breeding should you be too comfortable with him."

"But mama what shall I do. How do I occupy myself... during... it?!" She had asked cheeks flaming.

Just lay in the bed in your nightgown and he will do the rest. You will learn from him as to what he wants and doesn't want from you in that department. And though I will accede to your father being a man of the world to tell you the particulars is even too much for your dear mama. You would not want me to fetch my salts now! You might feel more comfortable speaking of such things with your Aunt Gardiner... But ultimately my dear you will lay there my sweet girl." Mrs Bennet had said in a comforting voice patting her cheek.

Elizabeth felt she would have been better not having had the talk at all. She had tried to speak with her Aunt Gardiner, but something was amiss in her behaviour. Uncle Gardiner had left on another urgent matter of business and her aunt had not been herself. She had become gaunt and seemed to be always on the verge of tears. Her Mama had dismissed it as an effect of the pregnancy – but something did not seem right. Hadn't the Earl of Matlock mentioned something to do with her uncle's latest business dealings?

"There you are, I have been searching high and low for you –" Mrs Bennet stopped in the doorway in her dressing gown taking in her appearance, "Elizabeth Bennet, if you think that you are going to be traipsing about outdoors today you had best think again! Of all days"!" she scolded raising her arms in despair.

"Mama, I need to do this to -"

"No, Lizzy. You do not." Came her mother's stern reply. "Now, up and get yourself into your robe, Kitty and Lydia are readying you a bath with my expensive oils and we are going to wash and set your hair fresh. I have sent Hill to get the Orange Blossoms for your hair and Jane is now freshening your wedding gown with sprigs of lavender. I am so proud of you, my dear girl. Oh, and we must remember to pinch at your cheeks and lips on the way to the church. That can be a job for little Maggie to remind us."

Lizzy stealthily moved to hide Mr Darcy's note in the bottom of her trunk packed and waiting for her departure. The last thing she needed was for her mother to tell everyone of the note and embarrass them all!

"Lizzy, now please!" said Mrs Bennet poking her head back into the room.

"Coming Mama." She laughed.

Darcy stood in front of the alter trying to drown out all the noise in the church while they waited for Elizabeth. He stood on the right with his groomsmen and to his left stood the bridesmaids with Mrs Bennet fussing over them though not as loudly as he was used to. She had managed to adopt tone to her voice that only he could hear... he hoped.

"Stand up straight, Kitty. Good Lord, if you slouch in such a manner, you'll make everyone think you have a physical deformity. We do not wish to scare away any of your new brother's illustrious family and friends. Smile girls, smile!"

Glancing behind him it did not appear as though his Uncle Matlock was hearing anything to set his mood ill. His aunts were chatting away, while Georgiana sat beside them bottom lip already trembling.

He gave her a reassuring smile and she beamed at him, putting him at ease that her tears were not of distress. Turning back he caught Mr Bingley sharing a flirtatious smile with Miss Bennet and could not help but feel a little worried about his attention to his soon to be sister. Bingley did not have a habit of being loyal to his infatuations, and the worry was that being in the country with less women to vie for his attention he might feel that he is ready to marry, but would he maintain such devotion? or would he end up straying?

Darcy knew himself to be loyal until burned, he had never been the type to look for greener pastures or have to purchase something because it was the latest fashion. He was never man whose tastes leaned towards gambling, brothels or racing, and he knew without a shadow of a doubt he would never break the vows he was about to make before God and his family, regardless of the nature of his marriage.

That was if Elizabeth arrived... there had been a long wait since the arrival of the bridesmaids, but Miss Bennet had said that their mother had been eager to get here a little earlier. Darcy surmised it was to show her remaining daughters off in their expensive new gowns.

Just then Mr Collins entered and gave a nod to the Rector as a signal that the bride had arrived and they were ready to proceed. He looked at the man as he moved towards the front pews only to be told those seats were reserved for immediate family and bridesmaids and so created a fuss as he squeezed himself in beside his betrothed, moaning loudly that he should have been the one to perform the ceremony.

A blessing indeed that he was not the one to hold that honour! who wants their wedding to be a comedy of errors?!

The doors opened and revealed Elizabeth, more beautiful than any other woman he had ever beheld. Darcy knew that his jaw must have dropped slightly but he could not bring himself to care as he drank in her elegant figure as she made her way towards him. Elizabeth had her beautiful hair uncovered and loosely secured with a wreath of flowers and a delicate veil which her Mr Bennet lifted from her face when they reached the alter. She was magnificent.

The air grew still and quiet, the laughter of the other guests muted to whispers. Elizabeth heard nothing but her heart, beating like a drum in her ears as she stood waiting to enter the church her father beside her. Her wedding gown was pure white satin gold beading across the bodice and capped sleeves, a fine gold silk tied into an intricate bow at her back and white silk gloves. She had decided to go without a bonnet, wearing a wreath of orange blossoms and a Chantilly veil with a lace trim to it. Her sisters all wore pink dresses, with white bonnets and white slippers gloves.

The doors opened immediately the roar of her blood pulsing through her body overwhelmed her senses making her falter a fraction in her steps. Her gave her arm a gentle squeeze and a teary-eyed look as he took sure steps leading her to the alter.

How could she ever belong in a world that looked at her family with such undisguised abhorrence? As she drew further down the aisle she looked to the smiling faces on both sides, knowing that the smiles of her new family were false and insincere. When her eyes alighted on Mr Darcy she felt as if something had knocked the air from her chest in one swoop. He stood proud in a blue coat, light grey trousers, white silk waistcoat with gold buttons, intricately tied cravat, and white gloves. His hair looked more tamed than usual, and his eyes though guarded, held an encouraging look filled with a warmth and if she was not mistaken a little relief, as though he had not been certain she would come.

Shaking her father lifted the veil from her face and handed her to stand to Mr Darcy's left and took his place just behind her, so as to be in readiness to give her hand at the proper moment to the bridegroom. Her principal bridesmaid Jane stood beside her and, ready to take off the bride's glove, which she would as a perquisite and prize of her office. Naturally Lydia and Kitty had fought and cried that they wanted to keep her glove, but their Mama and had said it should rightfully go to Jane as the eldest.

My Darcy's deep voice speaking the words "To honour and obey," startled her from her thoughts and she made a more concerted effort to be pay attention to the ceremony, though she did struggle to voice those words herself. Her breath came out in short puffs of air when the time came to say the final, "I will." And she thought she noticed Mr Darcy's complexion pale a little. It pleased her to know she was not alone in her jitters. It was a huge commitment to make when it was not one that mightn't have ever happened between them if not for that fateful day at the river.

For Elizabeth she watched as her father handed her hand into Mr Darcy's and watched the man who she had bound herself too with uncertainty – not of her feelings for him, but of his for her. She knew she had grown fond of him over their engagement, he had put in great effort to be courteous to her and had shown great courage in standing against his family in advocate of hers… but there was a niggling feeling which lingered in the vestiges of her mind that he might view her like the Earl as unworthy and she felt that she might not ever feel that she would ever prove herself to be his equal. He was known for his exacting standards and critical eye, and she knew him well enough now to know that he held himself to the same principles and ideals and in turn she would be expected to be just as perfect.

Her breath hitched as he removed the glove to place the gold band upon her finger and her cheeks flamed as her rubbed his thumb reassuringly over her wrist. Elizabeth scolded herself for enjoying and craving more of his touch in the church. She must learn to ignore these feelings and be the bride he had assured his family she would be.

Lowering her gaze, she removed his glove with trembling fingers and placed the ring on his finger, his large hands warm with small veins at the surface of the back of his hand. She was surprised to find slight callouses on his fingers and wondered what pursuits he gave them to him. Looking up she caught his gaze and heard one of his groomsmen whisper loudly to kiss her to seal the union. Their audience laughed and Mr Darcy gave a slight smile before bending towards her.

Elizabeth's eyes widened and to both her relief and disappointment Mr Darcy swerved to press a gently kiss on her cheek before whispering in her ear, "I just knew Percy wouldn't be able to stay quiet the entire ceremony." Laughter bubbled up inside her and she could do nothing to stop its escape, regardless of how unrefined the Earl of Matlock and his family might think it is.

Next Mr Darcy led her over to sign the marriage contract and then Elizabeth was instructed to sign firstly with her maiden name for the last time and then beside it she signed her name as 'Mrs Elizabeth Darcy'. Their families then had to sign their names in full as witness to the union. Following that the certificate of the marriage is handed to Elizabeth to be preserved in her own possession.

Elizabeth found herself sitting in the carriage leading the way back to Longbourn with Mr Darcy and her mother and father, struggling to digest that she was now married. All that fuss and it was over. She was now in his care and in a few short hours she would leave Longbourn for her new home in London.

"Mrs Darcy!" squealed Mrs Bennet. And Elizabeth looked to her new husband who to his credit simply smiled in good humour.

"Are you well?" he asked leaning to her.

"Yes, my mother is very proud." She said by way of an excuse.

He smiled gently once more, "As she should be… Mrs Darcy."

Smiling a little breathlessly she liked how it felt to be called Mrs Darcy by him.

"Mercifully, we are home!" said her father as the carriage drew to a halt. "At my age, one must ration one's excitement." He added with a chuckle.

Longbourn had been transformed over the past week and had many improvements made to it. The outside was decorated with wreaths and ribbons to mark the occasion. Inside the largest room was much the same with ribbons and floral arrangements in abundance. There was a main table arranged for the bride and groom to sit nearest to the window with a large, tiered wedding cake beside them. There were a few other tables arranged with refreshments and delicate sandwiches and cheeses, meats, and pickles. Kitty and Lydia rushed to cut the cake as soon as everyone was present, and Mr Darcy stood and thanked everyone on behalf of him and his new bride.

Mary imagined she was stood on Sir Percy's arm laughing up at something amusing he had said, while he looked down at her adoringly… Instead, she was propped against the wall, hiding in plain sight, staring at him. She could not stop staring at him.

Just then Mrs Bennet came near her to help herself to another glass of champagne, the fine sparkling wine a gift from the Earl of Matlock at the table next to where she had placed herself.

"Mary, have you sampled some of this tipple?" asked her mother.

In response Mary held her own glass aloft – though she had barely had a sip. The effects of the last time she had imbibed still unsettled her stomach.

When they had returned from the ball, she had confessed her undying love for Sir Percy in the most undignified way. Her mother had been kind and patient.

"I will see that you and your sisters are to stay with Lizzy in London. Trust me I can make it so, but we shall have you go a little earlier to be there for your Aunt Gardiner before and during her confinement." Mrs Bennet had said with an exaggerated wink.

"Oh mama!" Mary laughed shaking her head slightly. She had never been the recipient of her mother's conversation. Her mother had never been so openly encouraging to her, but then she had never shown any interest in marriage and fashions like her sisters.

"My dear I am always going to do my best to make your dreams come true - especially and mostly when pertaining to rich and handsome husbands!" She'd said her voice brimming with pride.

He was absolutely ignoring her! Going to extreme pains to not look even in her vicinity. It was not such a surprise - she had vomited in front of the man after being discovered in such a mortifying state of undress or really negligence to the arrangement of her skirts - Caught by him with her skirt hiked up around her waist. Stockings falling. Merciful Lord!

Oh, what if we had been if we could have been discovered and forced to marry - it had worked out well enough for Lizzy - MARY BENNET! She admonished herself in her head for such wonton and disgraceful thoughts.

Mary continued to watch Sir Percy, he easily stood out in a crowd. He was tall, nearly the tallest man in any room if not for Mr Darcy. Her gaze travelled to her new brother, and she looked him over for the first time seeing a man who would now be responsible for her sister's happiness and safety. His Elegantly dressed figure which she knew not how would soon 'mate' and in turn bring about heirs to quicken in her sister's womb. She acknowledged that he was starkly handsome, without frills to pretty up his visage like his elder cousin James favoured but then she supposed maybe all viscounts would and then when he took over the mantle of Earl, he would don the bright colours as his father chose too. His features were strong, with dark hair and eyes. His cool stare and the haughty lift of his brow more than intimidating to make most men quake in their hessians... though looking to Sir Percy comparatively she watched the hidden strength held within much like Mr Darcy only differing in that he would be less restrained and more bestial! She shivered and felt her pulse quicken.

Sir Percy was capable of being kind and careful too. Always there with a kind word when needed. This intelligent and beautiful man who commanded every room and made other men wilt into the shadows had stolen her heart and now refused to look her way.

Her stomach sank she possessed this mad desire to have him smile at her again. He never looked at her, though. Not once. Mary longed to beckon him to the gardens where she could touch and kiss him, be held by him. . .

She needed to gain control over her emotions.

"Why are you not with your sisters?" Her Aunt Gardiner appeared, her gaze studying Mary's face. "You are forever on the outskirts, observing. You should be having fun."

"Please aunt, I am happy. This day is about Elizabeth, and I am happy to stand and observe before she departs."

"It has been a very nice day," replied her aunt dabbing at her eyes with a handkerchief.

"Mama." Called little Margaret rushing over.

"Yes, my dear?" replied Aunt Gardiner.

"Mama, can you help me with my dress…" Maggie looked around before cupping her hand and whispering to her mother she needed to relieve herself.

Chuckling Mrs Gardiner went with Maggie. Watching them Mary felt his presence before she turned to face Sir Percy.

"Hello Miss Mary." Spoke Sir Percy eyeing her steadily.

"Hello Sir," she said with a bob of curtsey. Her heart was beating so furiously that she could barely manage not to tremble as she performed the greeting. When she straightened, she startled to see his eyes fixed upon her lips before he glanced away clearing his throat.

"Did you enjoy the ceremony?" she asked awkwardly.

"Yes, I did. I believe they both looked very well." He replied politely.

"I am sad to see Lord and Lady Rothford not in attendance." Mary continued.

"Lady Rothford is feeling tired being so close to her confinement and so she and James travelled to their country home yesterday."

Mary felt her ire prickle, not at his answer but that he had sought her out and she was the only trying to engage and stoke the conversation. He always appeared so cool and unaffected, always comfortable and in control of any situation. She gave him a pointed look and he simply stood there not trying to assuage her discomfort and so she gave him her blandest smile.

"If you will excuse me, I will go to my sisters now." Mary said as she walked away hating herself for letting him affect her so profoundly.

Too soon it was time for Elizabeth to depart her childhood home and leave her family and friends behind. Not wanting to cause a scene she had pulled bid goodbye to her sisters and now she stood with her Mama and Papa waiting for the carriage.

"My Lizzy, I will be forever so proud of you for what you have done. I know you were uncertain, but you will never truly know someone until you marry, and I will say make such a handsome couple. Think of the children, how beautiful they shall be! And the best part all the neighbours are green with envy! They all used to pity us for the entail but what is Longbourn to Pemberley? The Lucas' and Collin' must feel sick!"

"Mama, please lower your voice before everyone hears you!" hissed Elizabeth mortified.

"What a shame that is for if I am to outlive you my life will remain unchanged." Commented her father.

"I should like to see how well you cope without me, Mr Bennet." Huffed just as Mr Darcy joined them.

And in a rare moment of affection her father stood and took Mrs Bennet's hand kissing it and looking down at her. Causing a gentle blush to stain her mother's cheek. Before he left them to it.

Mr Darcy leaned forward. "Have I missed something of import?" He whispered his breath caressing her ear.

"My father rarely bestows my mother such attention" she replied.

He nodded and so she asked, "You are not shocked?"

Blushing slightly, he replied, "It was not uncommon when I was a child to see my father behaving likewise toward my mother. I found it terribly embarrassing and would leave the room. But they loved each other very much and I am glad that their short time on this earth brought them together."

"I must agree that I am feeling much as you described your younger self. I am glad to hear that your parents had such a happy marriage." she teased blushing instantly when his eyes darkened and dropped to her lips before he chuckled gently and looked away and immediately locked gazes with the gloomy disapproving look from the Earl of Matlock as he stood unabashedly glaring over at her with exceptional scrutiny.

Cheers erupted before around them as the carriage came around and everyone filtered out from the house. Maggie ran excitedly throwing small flowers in a path to the carriage and Georgiana tried her hardest to walk sedately but halfway gave in and ran to her brother hugging him tightly. Elizabeth was so absorbed in watching them she did not notice her sister's approach until all of them were embracing her at once! All of them crying and laughing at their silliness.

"We will write to you often; you must promise to write back Lizzy!" sobbed Lydia.

"And we will come to stay as soon as you are ready for us." Cried Kitty.

"I miss you already," sniffed Mary.

"Lizzy, I love you and we will all see you very soon. Longbourn is not so far from London!" said Jane and Elizabeth noticed her father approach from over her sisters' shoulder.

"Well, my girl, I never thought the day would come so soon that I would have to part from you. There will be no sense here at Longbourn without you. Let us hope your new husband was in earnest when he invited me to see his libraries." He said with watery eyes.

"I love you Papa!" she said as she hugged him close.

"Yes, well, it is getting late, best not to tarry." He said his voice thick with emotion and patting her shoulder.

Elizabeth turned and saw a similar scene with Mr Darcy and his relatives, though he looked to be trying to get away from his Aunt Dorothea who was kissing his cheeks and beaming at him tearfully.

Finally extricating himself he walked over to join Elizabeth and bending to give Mrs Bennet a bow and Mr Bennet a respectful handshake, he assisted Elizabeth into the carriage and they departed for London in shocked silence after such an overwhelming day and departure from their former selves.