Summary: It bothers me a little that Fairy Tail has two people that can tap into a form of sand magic and neither of them went up against Ajeel but whenever there is a bad fire mage running round Natsu is the one that beats them up.

Pairings: Dragon Slayer friendship, implied Scorpio/Lucy friendship, parental Alzack/Asuka, and I suppose Max/Warren friendship….if you squint.

YouTube Prompt: Crack-ish Fairy Tail tribute to 'That's What You Do for a Friend' from the second Swan Princess film.

Natsu coughed and choked on the sand that kept blowing into his face. He yanked up his scarf in a desperate attempt to protect himself from the unrelenting gust of sand but his eyes still burned, he could taste the grit of the sand and dirt, and his face itched.

It was when he was just about to lose his patience altogether when he heard it.

The loud, booming, sound of an electric guitar piercing through the air. It was rather good and if they weren't in the middle of a war he might even jump to it and enjoy it. But they were in the middle of a war and music was not exactly appropriate.

"Gajeel!" Natsu growled. "Quit that crappy guitar playing!"

"It ain't me, Salamander," Gajeel grunted. "I'm not exactly capable of it since my guitar isn't here."

The music got louder and Natsu's eye twitched. "Bullshit!" he declared.

"No, he's right," Lily said dryly, "the music is far too good for it to be him playing."

"Oi!" Gajeel barked. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"That you're a shit guitar player," Natsu said immediately, "and an even lousier singer."

"Why you little-"

"Ano," Wendy interrupted shyly, "is it just me or has the sand disappeared?"

Natsu and Gajeel paused. They had just been about to punch each other's lights out, Gajeel had even grabbed Natsu by his scarf and held him up in the air, when they suddenly realised that Wendy was right. The sand cleared up and they could see each other as clear as day as well as hear everything properly once again.

The guitar music stopped.

"WE ARE!" A familiar voice boomed throughout the streets. "SCORPIO AND LUCY, TOTALLY ROCKING FAIRY TAIL! IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU NEED, LUCY-SAN?"

"Erm," Lucy's voice could be heard, as could the gigantic sweat-drop she must be sporting, "no thank you Scorpio. That's all for now."

"WE ARE!"

"What?" Ajeel said blankly as he realised his magic had been completely and utterly voided. "What?!" he repeated a little squeakily. "You have a Celestial Spirit that deals with sand?! Oh come on!" he whined. "That's so un….." his eyes widened as a prickle of fear tingled at the back of his neck. "…fair," he gulped.

Slowly, ever so slowly, he turned to face the dark, evil, presence he felt behind him and almost screamed at the sight.

She might be dressed in a shimmering light armour but she certainly wasn't an angel.

He quickly recalled what she called the damn thing, The Morning Star armour…..Morning Star…..Lucifer….Satan…..the Devil!

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Daddy, let go of me!" Asuka whined as she squirmed in Alzack's arms. "I can't see the fight!"

"Trust me honey," Alzack said numbly, he trembled slightly as he continued to cover his daughter's arms, "you don't want to see the carnage that is happening right now.

Meanwhile the remaining members in the guild all stood round the map plotting their next move with the First Master…..all but one, who wouldn't shut up and therefore interrupted all planning.

"Oh come on this is so unfair!" Max sulked. "I'm a Sand Mage, and a damn good one as well! I'm a Fairy Tail mage, I'm strong, swift, and skilled. Hell this time last year I damn beat Natsu. Fucking Natsu Dragneel. And now, in the biggest war Fairy Tail has ever been, when there's a fucking Sand Mage out there, am I defeating him? Nooooooooooooooooooo I'm sweeping the floor and helping make coffee for everyone else."

"Yeah," Warren said uncaringly, "I'm gonna need another one with actual sugar in, this cup is just full of sand."

"I'M A SAND MAGE DAMNIT AND A BLOODY GOOD ONE TOO!"

"Whatever dude," Warren shrugged, "you missed a spot by the way."

"ARGH!"