Summary: Happy might be a cat but that doesn't mean he has to use a little box.

Pairings: General friendship feels.

YouTube Prompt: A crack Fairy Tail tribute to 'Sucks to Be Me' from the musical Avenue Q.

"Good afternoon everyone!"

It was a lovely (boring) day at the guild when Lisanna entered cheerfully laden with heavy shopping bags. The whole guild who were actually in, so the all of the adults apart from Gildarts, Cana, Lisanna's siblings, Gray and Erza, and, of course, Natsu and Happy, all greeted her back just as warmly.

"Wow Lisanna," Natsu said impressed, "that's a lot of shopping."

"I know," Lisanna flushed, "but it's the first time in ages I had so much to spend and I needed some new clothes. I'm finally developing!"

Natsu looked confused. "Developing what?" he asked.

Gray face palmed, Macao and Wakaba snickered, and Mira punched them just as they were about to make a lewd comment.

"Never mind!" Lisanna huffed as she crossed her arms defensively over her chest. "But," she cheered up instantly, "I didn't just buy clothes, I brought you something Happy."

"Me?" Happy squeaked excitedly.

It has been four months since Happy had joined their lives and he was still incredibly tiny and delicate looking. Everyone in the guild had an urge to hold him protectively to their chest and Natsu kept finding himself having to fend off potential kidnappers of his cat because everyone wanted to cuddle him. Even Erza, no scratch that, especially Erza.

"Uhuh," Lisanna nodded, "I realised how remiss I have been in my parenting duties to you. Not only have I left you at Natsu's mercy-"

"Oi! What's that supposed to mean?"

"That you can kill a pot plant just by looking at it."

"Wanna repeat that, Snowflake?!"

"Why?" Gray asked coolly. "Have you got wax in your ears again, Ash Brain?"

" – but I haven't ensured that you have everything you need," Lisanna carried on as if Gray and Natsu weren't trying to brutally murder each other behind her, "so I brought you this," she rummaged through her bags and suddenly pulled out a long, rectangular, box and a big heavy bag with a picture of a cat on it, "Tada!"

"A litter box?" Happy deadpanned. "You brought me a litter box."

"Well you have to go to the toilet sometime, Happy," Lisanna hissed looking embarrassed, "and I don't know where you go now but it's time for you to become housetrained."

"I am already housetrained!" Happy protested furiously. "And I don't use a litterbox like some sort of animal."

"Happy," Lisanna blinked, "you're a cat."

"Just because I am a cat," Happy sniffed indignantly, "doesn't mean I have to be uncivilised."

At this point everyone's attention was on them, even Natsu and Gray (who stopped fighting one another after Erza literally bashed their heads together), and they all crowded round Happy and Lisanna as they eyed the pair with interest.

"If you don't use a box," Macao said, "then what do you use to do your business?"

Happy looked at Macao as if he was the most stupid person in the whole world. "The toilet, of course," he sniffed. "Speaking of which, I need to go potty."

And with that, the little kitten flew off into the men's bathroom.

"Now this," Mirajane said interestedly, "I've got to see."

And much to the horror of every male in the room, she jumped off of the bar and followed Happy into the bathroom. "Well," Lisanna sighed, as she ignored the traumatised look on her older brother's face, "I suppose I'll just have to return this." And then she smacked Natsu on the arm with the litter box….hard.

"Ouch!" Natsu yelped. "What was that for?"

"For not telling me that you had him housetrained!" Lisanna snapped. "I could have saved myself a lot of money and embarrassment if you actually talked to me about these sort of things!"

Natsu just looked confused but fortunately before he could open his mouth and say something stupid, because he would, Happy flew out of the bathroom and was promptly followed by Mirajane.

"Huh," Mirajane said, "he is housetrained."

"WHY DID YOU GO IN THERE?!"

"THAT'S THE MEN'S ROOM!"

"GIRLS AREN'T ALLOWED IN THERE!"

"Please," Mirajane snorted, "I've been in there hundreds of times before."

"YOU HAVE?!"

"Of course I have!" Mirajane glowered at them all. "Who do you think cleans the bathroom? The Toilet Fairy?"

"…..Yes?"

Mirajane punched Gray so hard that he collided into Macao, Wakaba, Elfman, and Natsu, and they all shot into the wall.

Punishment they all deserved if you asked her.

"I have you know that I've cleaned up your filth hundreds of times!" she snarled. "And you want to know something? Lisanna, Cana, Erza, and Levy have also been in the men's room cleaning up after you ungrateful disgusting pigs!"

The boys all looked gobsmacked while the girls all nodded solemnly. "I thought I would never be clean again," Erza shuddered, "all that…urgh, I can't even say it."

"This is why I told you to drink before you go in there," Cana patted her back sympathetically.

"And let me tell you something else," Mirajane continued furiously as the boys all shrank back from her in fear, "not only is Happy housetrained but he has better aim than the lot of you put together!"