Summary: Alzack can be a little handsy when he's drunk…..which would be fine if Bisca was actually in the building.

Pairings: Alzack/Bisca and Laxus/Freed friendship.

Author's Note: Thank you all so much for giving me over EIGHTY THREE HUNDRED REVIEWS!

They had been celebrating…..something, Alzack couldn't remember, he had literally just escaped Cana's drinking competition and could barely remember his own name.

Always a sign that it's a good party.

Alzack felt lost as the world spun around him and he staggered through the sweaty, heaving, crowds in search of Bisca. With all this alcohol in his system he was feeling bold and wanted nothing more than to take his wife home and have his wicked way with her.

And then he saw it, just from the corner of his eye, a flicker of the beautiful mint green locks. He whirled round excitedly (almost crashed into a wide-eyed Wendy) to catch a glimpse of his wife's beautiful backside.

Her hair contrasted against her dark wine-red dress which emphasised her very lovely (if you ask Alzack) bottom.

"Bis-Bis!"

Bisca squeaked as Alzack threw his arms around her nuzzled deeply into her neck. She smelt strangely sweet, not a single whiff of gun powder was on her, and felt taller and more muscular than usual in his arms.

"Bis-Bis I have missed you!" Alzack whined. "It's been so long since I have held you in my arms and felt you against my body."

For some reason Bickslow, who Bisca had been talking to, sniggered into his drink while his babies bobbed up and down in hysterical giggles.

"How about we go home?" Alzack whispered hotly in Bisca's ear, she shivered and he smirked before he pulled her earlobe into his mouth and sucked it. "We can have our own party."

"Eek!"

Alzack smirked as he pressed some kisses against Bisca's beautiful, delicate, neck, and slowly, ever so slowly, he trailed his hands up her lovely, shapely, body and reached up to grab her firm, plump, breasts…..

…..only to feel firm, solid, muscle instead.

"Please," Freed whimpered, "let go off me!"

Alzack's eyes bulged out as he realised he was holding tightly onto a man and not his wife. He was so horrified that he was unable to move, his arms still wrapped round Freed, and his hands still on Freed's chest.

"OI!" Laxus boomed. "GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF MY BEST FRIEND!"

And that last thing he remembered was Laxus suddenly punching him so hard in the face that Alzack blacked out completely.

He wakes up the next day at home with Bisca looking entirely unimpressed that he could mistake a man for her.

It took a lot of grovelling to get back into her good books.

And many months before he could look Freed in the eye without the green haired man flushing bright red and running in the opposite direction, Bickslow suddenly cackling like a maniac and Laxus cracking his knuckles….