Summary: inspired by 3rd Rock from the Sun. Lucy attempts to make a move on Natsu while Fairy Tail are preparing for a feast….

Pairings: Natsu/Lucy, Lucy/Cana friendship, some implied sisterly Mirajane/Lisanna, and general friendship feels.

Author's Note: Thank you all so much for giving me over EIGHTY FOUR HUNDRED reviews!

Due to their newfound popularity after the Games, Fairy Tail had been drowning under job requests. In fact, it had been so bad for the last three months that barely anyone had time to sleep and eat let alone actually talk to one another.

It had come to no surprise that when things finally calmed down that the guild quickly realised that they had missed five birthdays of their members and it was instantly agreed that they should hold a banquet for Fairy Tail members only in order to celebrate these five birthdays.

It was an agreement many were beginning to regret the moment Mirajane took over organising everything. Not only had Mirajane become a tyrant worthy of Erza but she was so stressed out about making every perfect (as Lisanna's birthday was one of the five) that the smallest thing freaked her out.

So when Mirajane ordered Natsu to set the table for the thirteen course banquet she was currently cooking, Natsu had absolutely no choice but to set the table.

Even though he was completely hopeless at figuring out which fork was supposed to where.

"Here," Lucy said softly from behind him. "Let me help you."

"Thanks Lucy!"

Lucy's fingers trailed down the length of Natsu's arms before she took hold of his hands. "Well you see that one," she half purred in his ear, "goes here," she pressed herself as close as she could against him, her breath tickling the back of his neck as she soaked in his warmth and sighed blissfully, "and this one goes here," she pushed her chest against his back, "and this one goes over here." And threw in a pelvic thrust to really get her point across.

Natsu blinked at the array of different forks and knives and spoons that were placed all in a precise position at Lucy's direction. "Are those the rules?" he asked worriedly.

Lucy lost all patience at this point and suddenly whirled Natsu round to face her. "Oh forget the rules Natsu!" she cried out as she placed her hands on his chest and gazed up at him under her eyelashes. "Just put whatever you want wherever you want to put it!"

Preferably his lips on hers…..or well, anywhere on her, and his hands on her skin, and they can work out the rest later once she got his pants off.

"Can I put my fist into Gray's face?"

Lucy drooped in disappointment. He didn't get it, again. Damnit! "Go wild," she said flatly.

"Woo-hoo!" Natsu punched a fist in the air. "Awesome!" he dashed across the room and sank his fist into Gray's face.

"What the fuck was that for?!"

And, of course, a brawl immediately started between all the boys which led to Erza kicking them all outside before Mirajane castrated them with the blender.

Lucy dejectedly went to the bar and bashed her head against the hard wooden surface.

"There, there," Cana patted her back comfortingly, "you just went too subtle this time. It's Natsu. He's a clueless hulk of muscle." Lucy moaned as Cana poured out a vodka shot for her. "Here," she said as shoved it in Lucy's hands, "drink this then march over to Natsu covered in food. Maybe even put the freaking turkey crown on your head. And I bet you anything that Natsu would throw you on this very table and have his wicked way with you."

"Really?" it was a testament to exactly how much Lucy had drank this afternoon as her eyes lit up as she seriously considered the idea. "You think that would actually work?"

"NO!" Mira shouted. Both Cana and Lucy jumped and clung to one another as they took in the demonic scales, dark aura, and sinister expression on Mira's face as she snarled wordlessly at them over the bar. "Not on my banquet table and definitely not with the food for my little sister's feast! This party is going to be perfect," she hissed, "even if it kills you, got it?"

Cana and Lucy nodded silently, too frightened to speak.

"Good," Mira smiled a false, sickly, sweet smile, "any other day Lucy, I would totally support you allowing Natsu ravish you in the middle of the guild but not today."

With one final glare she then stomped off back into the kitchen so she can serve up the soup course.

"Man," Cana sweat-dropped, "I'll be glad when this party is over and she's back to normal."

"Me too," Lucy mumbled, "Though it's probably a good thing she stopped me. Your advice hasn't worked in the past."

"Hey!" Cana protested. "It's not my fault you have a crush on a total mor-"

CRASH!

Everyone flinched as Natsu flew back into the guild building through the window, likely to have been thrown by Erza, and landed on top of the shared, ginormous, twenty eight tier birthday cake.

Eh, brawls and destruction were supposed to be part of a perfect Fairy Tail party…just no one seemed to have told Mirajane that.