Entry #005: Something Meaningful

Thursday, March 20th

11:59 P.M.

A little over a week had passed.

A week of painful silence and constant avoidance.

He would always look so distressed.

So disappointed that his best friend would think of him that way.

I seriously screwed up in the worse possible way.

Sighs

A part of me doesn't even blame him for being mad.

If I hadn't pushed him so much…

I would still have my best friend to talk to.

But now... now he mostly hung out with Beck and Jade.

During classes that we had together, he would make sure that he was sitting far from me.

I tried calling, texting, emailing; hell, I even went to his house to see if I could talk to him.

It would always end with his grandma throwing oranges at me.

Her aim was pretty spot on, cause she easily bruised my nose.

Which still hurts.

I mean, it really hurt.

Sighs

But anyway, it wasn't until this afternoon during lunch that Andre decided to talk to me.

I was waiting in line to order some food, and he had to walk by me to get some extra napkins.

He didn't say much, it was just a simple, "Excuse me."

But that was it.

Nothing more, nothing less.

He honestly wanted nothing to do with me.

But strangely enough, there was something that kept nagging me.

Over a week ago, when I was trying to get the truth out of him, Andre would continuously avoid eye contact.

I thought nothing of it at first, but after awhile, it got me thinking.

Was he hiding something?

Something important that he really wanted to tell, but couldn't?

Why?! Why?! Why?!

Why must boys be so complicating?

Why must they always try to hide how they really feel or what they really have to say?

…

Ha ha, look at me… getting worked up over a guy.

But that was the problem.

Andre was not just some guy.

He was the guy that I overlooked.

From the day that we first met, he has always been there for me when I was down, and when I was at my best.

Same goes with him.

I was there to help him in his time of need, and when things were going great, I was always there to cheer him on.

Looking back at my past relationships, they would always end with me wishing for someone… someone like Andre.

But I, being completely clueless, failed to see what was really in front of me.

Clueless Ol' Tori.

But look where I'm at now. Clueless, without my best friend, and utterly miserable.

For the past couple of days, I could barely eat, sleep, or even focus.

In times like this, I would always have Andre to call and to be there for me.

But at the moment...

It was if I was living a life without him in any aspect of it.

I hated this feeling.

I hated it so much.

I just wanted my best friend back.

Friday, March 21st

12:47 A.M.

I laid motionless in my bed.

Gazing at the moonlit sky that I could see out of my window.

Another sleepless night was underway.

Full of deep thought and painstakingly replaying memories of that horrible day.

"This is torture." I thought aloud.

Getting up out of my bed, I grabbed my phone and walked out of my room.

Trying not to wake up anyone, I crept downstairs and went outside to the back patio.

As I stood there, a gentle breeze blew through.

Mmm, I can't tell you how much this calm spring air was helping me.

The calmness of it alone was breathtaking.

It was as if all of my problems were temporarily wiped from my life.

Slowly, I remembered those nights where Andre and I would sit on this very patio.

We would do nothing but look up at the night sky for hours, and talk about our hopes, dreams, desires, and fantasies.

I really missed those moments.

Walking over to the side of the yard that overlooked the cityscape, I looked at all of the twinkling lights.

Taking in the magnificent sight of this beautiful city, I immediately started tearing up.

It was over.

Our friendship was over, and I needed to accept it.

Andre showed no sign that our friendship was fixable.

So what was the point in even-

*A musical chime plays on my phone*

I smiled when I saw who was calling.

Shocked, yet still smiling.

It was Andre!

For the first time in over a week, he was calling me.

I quickly calmed myself and answered the call.

"Hello?"

{Hey...}

"Hi..."

{What are you up to?}

"Standing on the patio."

{Oh.}

"You know, I'm shocked that you even called me. You've been avoiding me for as long as I can remember."

{I know… I know. It was wrong of me to even do that.}

"Then why did you?"

For a moment, Andre was quiet.

The silence was so awkward that I just wanted someone to just say something.

Eventually, Andre broke the tension.

{It's what you were saying. About there being something between us. Something more.}

"And what about it?"

He paused again.

{Nothing, it's nothing.}

I slowly began to tearing up again.

Growing tired of hearing this over and over again, I begged, "Andre… please… just tell me."

Click!

...Dial tone...

He hung up on me.

He actually hung up on me.

What in the hell was wrong with him?!

That was the most childish, impolite things that he has-

Knock! Knock!

Someone was knocking on the wooden fence door.

Cautiously, I walked towards the door, but not before grabbing one of the loose bricks that lined the flower bed.

"Who's there?"

The voice that called out was very familiar.

"It's me, Andre."

"What?" I asked, looking through fence opening to see Andre standing there, "What are you doing here?"

After dropping the brick on the ground, I went to open the fence door.

As he casually walked in, I looked around to see if anyone else was around.

Closing the door and locking it, I questioned him, "You walked all the way here?"

"Y-yeah, couldn't sleep. So I decided to go for a walk."

"And let me guess, you just so happen to be in the neighborhood and decided to pay me a visit?" I asked, with my arms crossed.

Andre just sighed and kept looking away from me.

"What in the hell is this all about? I tried apologizing to you for days and I don't get any response at all. Then there's the phone call-"

"Okay, I know. It was rude and *sighs* I'm just trying to make things right."

I could tell that Andre was extremely nervous.

He wouldn't stop fidgeting around.

Whatever he had to tell me, he was just about to open up.

"You're finally gonna make things right?" I asked, tired of this charade, "Then just go ahead and do it. Although, you could have told me over the phone; that is if you didn't hang up on me."

"You don't understand, it was best to do this face to face."

"Then just tell me already."

Taking a deep breath, Andre swallowed hard and began explaining.

"I was scared, okay? When you told me how you really felt about me, it took me by surprise. I mean, I-I've always wondered if you felt... felt the same way, but..."

Felt the same way?

Could he be saying...?

Inching closer to him, I asked, "Andre… what are you saying?"

"It's better if I show you."

There at that moment, he walked up to me.

He then placed his hand on my cheek, and...

He kissed me.

He really kissed me!

No lie!

It was our second kiss, but it felt so much like our first.

Gently, a cool spring breeze began blowing throughout the backyard.

A delightful swirl of cool air danced around us as we continued to share our passionate kiss.

Mmm, this was definitely a perfect way for him to make things right.

As we stopped kissing, Andre smiled, "Been wanting to do that for so long."

Practically grinning, I replied, "Same here."

The soothing winds slowly began to calm down.

"Why were you so afraid?" I asked him, opening my eyes, "We could have talked about it or..."

"It was because if things didn't work out between us…" he began, looking calmly at me.

"It probably would have ruined our friendship." I added, finishing his sentence.

"But I almost let that happen anyway… by being a complete jackass."

"It doesn't matter, anymore. We both know the truth about each other."

"Yeah, that's true; but I really am sorry, Tori. I don't want to ever hurt you like that again."

"Just make sure that we'll always be there for each other. No matter what." I sighed, as I laid my head on his shoulder.

"Deal." chuckled Andre, kissing me on my forehead.

We stood there in full embrace under the ethereal night sky.

It was the start of something new. Something meaningful.

It would be a night that I would never forget.

My name is Tori Vega, and this is how I regained my best friend…

And gained a boyfriend, too.