Summary: Romeo's first words are not the usual ones….

Pairings: General friendship and family feels.

YouTube Prompt: I still think a Gray tribute to 'Leave Your Hat On' by Tom Jones is very much needed.

"Oh my God!" Lisanna cooed. "Look at how adorable the baby is! Isn't he sweet?"

"He's cool," Natsu said cheerfully enough, "…..let's teach him out to shoot fireballs at Gray!"

"Can you teach something that you can't even do yourself?" Gray asked snidely. "After all you never got me."

"Lisanna, I demand you stop hogging the baby," Erza said as she held her arms out stiffly, "it is my turn to cuddle him."

"Oi!" Mirajane barked. "Who said you could order my sister around? And," she added as she forced herself between Erza and Lisanna. "It's my turn to hold the baby."

"Nuh-uh!" Levy squeaked. "It's my turn!"

"I haven't had a cuddle yet," Cana muttered, "and I'm not likely to accidentally drop him or bring him in the middle of a fight."

Elfman stood on the side-lines, obviously wishing he too could have a cuddle with the baby.

(Laxus, however, decided it was best to hide in the library. He wasn't going to be roped into a babysitting job.)

"Aren't you worried?" Wakaba asked Macao as he jabbed a thumb in the children's direction. "I mean if it was me, I'd be scared they accidentally break my baby and get me into trouble with the wife."

"Nah," Macao leaned back into his chair, "if they want to fight over looking after Romeo. Let them, they're sensible enough to not actually hurt him and it makes me look good in front of my wife without me doing anything at all."

"True," Wakaba chuckled, "you must have scored a lot of points volunteering to take the kid out in the first place."

BOOM!

The adults all jumped and Macao's heart froze as he scanned the room for his son. Fortunately knowing Natsu and Gray far too well, Erza had scooped Romeo out of the warzone and was holding him protectively from the minor explosion that was Natsu and Gray's brawl.

Natsu won this particular battle as Gray crashed into a table and it collapsed beneath him. Gray bashed his head against the floor as he rolled off of table. "Mother Fucker!" he cursed. "What was that for, you lunatic?"

Natsu was too busy cheering to himself to pay Gray any attention. "Well it might," Lisanna said looking amused, "have something to do with the fact you insult-"

"Mother Fucker!"

Everyone froze at the foreign voice. It was high, and squeaky, and giggled innocently despite the rude words it uttered.

Everyone slowly turned to face Romeo who was wiggling excitedly in Erza's arms. His own arms were going up and down as he gurgled a laugh again.

"Mother Fucker!" he repeated. "Mother Fucker! Mother Fucker! Mother Fucker! Mother Fucker!"

"His first words!" Lisanna squealed. "Two at the same time, how clever!"

"And lengthy ones too," Erza agreed, "you are a very clever boy, Romeo unlike some morons I know," at this she shot a furious look at Gray and Natsu who both gulped and clung to one another in terror.

Though they were too proud of Romeo speaking to be truly terrified.

"My son has spoken," Macao said in awe, "my son has said his first words, my son, in true Fairy Tail nature has spoken his first curse words at the age of one and….." his face lost all colour as the realisation sunk in.

"Took you long enough," Wakaba snickered.

"Mother Fucker!" Romeo agreed.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Macao screamed as he sunk to his knees and pulled at his hair. "I'm doooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooomed!" Macao wailed. "My wife is so going to divorce me for this!"

"Now, now," Master patted his back, "I hardly doubt she'll divorce you over this particular incident."

He was proven correct…..Macao was divorced two months later for many other incidents.