Summary: That American Soap Opera cliché about evil twin brothers…Fairy Tail struggle when it turns out Natsu has an evil twin brother. Sheer crack.

Pairings: Zeref/Mavis, brotherly Zeref/Natsu, implied Gray/Juvia, implied Lisanna/Happy friendship, Strauss Sibling feels, one-sided Evil Twin/Mira, one-sided Evil Twin/Erza, one-sided Evil Twin/Lucy, brotherly Gray/Natsu, implied Natsu/Happy friendship, Natsu/Lucy, and lots of other general friendship feels.

YouTube Prompt: A Natsu tribute to 'Killing Floor' by Black Stone Cherry.

BOOM!

Zeref and Mavis' content night of cuddling in their sleep, Mavis snuggled against Zeref's naked chest as his long, pale, arms held her firmly against him, was interrupted by a terrible explosion that shook the entire palace.

"What happened?" Zeref slurred as he shot out of bed. Mavis rolled over and moaned. "Did you hear that?"

"Mmm…." Mavis groaned. "Darling, if that's Natsu come to visit again tell him to come back in the morning," she mumbled into her pillow. "Much too late to deal with burning buildings."

Zeref opened his mouth to protest (after all it had only been one building and it wasn't like he or Mavis used the stables all that often to begin with) when there was a panicked knock on his bedroom door and he decided to open it (before Mavis brutally murdered whoever it was with a pillow). He was immediately greeted by the terrified, deferential, blank guard who Zeref thinks might be guard 327 (it was terribly difficult to tell them apart let alone bother to actually remember their names).

"Y-Y-Your Majesty!" the guard stammered. "Something t-t-t-terrible has happened!"

"What is it?" Zeref asked impatiently. "Are we under attack?" the guard shook his head rapidly. "The people are revolting?" another headshake. "My brother and his friends aren't visiting us are they?" he asked suspiciously. The guard shook his head again, and may or may not have muttered something along the lines 'no, thank goodness' but Zeref choice to ignore that. "Then what is it?!" he growled in frustration.

"One of the prisoners escaped!" the guard squeaked. "In fact it was…..THAT Prisoner."

"You mean," Zeref said weakly, "the one in the very depths of my dungeons, bound by hundreds of anti-magic chains, gagged, and had been blindfolded on the way down there so he could never find a way out?"

"Yeah THAT one," the guard nodded, "he managed to wiggle out of his chains and blew a hole in the wall and jumped out of it."

Dread flooded Zeref's stomach. If THAT prisoner had escaped then that meant only one thing, Natsu, and all that Natsu loved, was in the gravest of danger. "Oh no," Zeref paled. "Ready a carriage for me and the Empress," he ordered the guard, "We're leaving immediately."

"As you wish, Your Majesty."

"Dismissed," Zeref said curtly. As soon as the door shut he pulled at his hair and released a strangled scream of sheer panic. He then rushed back to his bed and began to shake Mavis awake. "Sweetheart, wake up, something terrible has happened, please wake up love," he shook Mavis hard enough that her jade eyes flickered open with the deadliest of glares. The look that promised it better be the end of the world or she will murder him for waking her up again. "We're going to have to go to Fairy Tail straight away and warn them."

Mavis' dark looked vanished for one of concern as she struggled out of bed. "Warn them about what?" Mavis yawned.

"That," Zeref took a deep breath and gathered all his courage to confess one last evil deed had had done in the past, "Natsu's evil twin brother has escaped."

"….WHAT?!"

FTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT

It was a normal morning at the guild which meant there had already been a brawl and now a group of members stood round a chair that got wedged into the wall and trying to figure out how to get it down before Master came home.

"Honestly," Lisanna sighed, "how on earth did that happen?"

"Erza tried to murder me!" Gray cried out passionately. "It's not my fault that Elfman punched me into her strawberry cake but did that stop her from chucking a chair at a billion miles per an hour at me? Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! If I hadn't ducked then I would have died."

"Gray-sama would have never died," Juvia patted Gray comfortingly on the back, "Juvia would have taken the chair for him."

Lisanna, however, merely shook her head and smiled a soft, exasperated smile. "And you say it's Natsu that causes all the trouble round here,"

"He does cause all the trouble round here!" Gray said indignantly. "Do you think it would just be a chair stuck in a wall if Natsu was here? Hell no," Gray snorted, "if he was here half the building would be on fire and a lot more things would be smashed."

Lisanna would have muttered something about pot calling kettle black but it was at that moment when the door slammed open and a dark shadow loomed at the door. Everyone stiffened slightly but when it was so obviously not Master but a certain, spikey-haired, Dragon Slayer, they all relaxed and grinned.

"Natsu-san!" Wendy beamed as she rushed towards the shadow. "You have come home! How was your…..eh?" she frowned lightly and took a deep sniff, her frown deepened and her eyes flickered with confusion. "Natsu-san," she said timidly, "where is your scarf?"

Natsu stepped into the building and everyone saw that he looked almost the same as always, pink hair sticking up all over the place, deep tanned skin covering some pretty impressive muscles, but that was the only thing normal about him. Instead of his ridiculous baggy trousers ("What? Did you just step out of Arabian Tales?" Gray had sniggered when Natsu had first purchased them), and his one-sleeved jacket, Natsu was wearing tight black jeans and an equally tight leather jacket…..and no shirt, for no reason other than to show off his abs. there was no scarf and for some reason Natsu had grown facial hair.

Everyone blinked.

"Scarf?" Natsu scoffed. "Who would wear a scarf in this heat?"

Everyone gasped melodramatically. Macao even dropped his whiskey glass in horror having Natsu utter what had always been considered blasphemy. Everyone then stood there as an awkward silence settled in on them as they all took in this new, weird, and worrying Natsu.

"…what's with the weird moustache?" Gray finally burst out. "Because it looks ridiculous," he chortled.

"It's a goatee not a moustache you plebeian," Natsu sneered, "and I have you know this is thought to be a very classy look. Though I wouldn't expect you to understand taste as you cannot keep your trousers on."

"What?" Gray blinked, then he looked down and his eyes popped out. "Crap! Not again!"

"Don't worry Gray-sama!" Juvia cried out. "Juvia picked them up when Gray-sama dropped them on the street."

"Oh thanks!"

And with that Juvia promptly helped Gray get dressed which was always awkward to watch because Juvia could never resist groping Gray and Gray was such a prude in public despite his stripping habit. It was when Gray finally escaped Juvia's clutches as well as finally wearing his jeans that his eyes widened.

"Wait!" he said rather stunned. "Did Natsu just call me a plebeian?! How does he even know that word? Did Ash-Brain finally learn to read the dictionary?"

Natsu would have normally screamed in Gray's face by now but instead he had coolly headed towards the bar. "Hi Natsu!" Mira beamed. "What can I get you?"

"Scotch on the rocks," Natsu replied as he leaned against the bar as if he was a model or something, "and whatever you fancy, toots."

Mira blinked at that. "What did you just call me?" she asked in her dangerously polite voice that always meant if you answer wrongly she'll pulverise you.

"You heard me," Natsu said uncaringly, "or are you incapable of holding anything in that pretty little head of yours?"

Mira scowled. "You want scotch on the rocks?" she growled. "I'll give you scotch on the rocks." Several people winced, Natsu was definitely going to have something in his drink, like Mira's spit. She turned furiously to get the bottle of scotch and just as she bent over Natsu reached over the bar and squeezed her arse. She shot up at an instant and covered her backside protectively. "Did you just do what I think you did?!" she screeched.

"Nah," Natsu lied as he lit up and cigarette and took a puff, "chill out doll-face. If you didn't want to be touched then you should have been such a temptation."

Mira's face contorted furiously as she lifted her fist back to punch the living daylights out of Natsu. She didn't get far though as Elfman let out a beastly roar. "HOW DARE YOU TOUCH MY SISTER?!" he bellowed. "THAT'S VERY UNMANLY OF YOU!" Elfman then tried to tackle Natsu only to have Natsu coolly step aside just as Mira tried to punch him.

The result was that Mira punched Elfman instead of Natsu and when Elfman staggered around with birds tweeting around his head from the dizziness, Natsu tripped him up, pushed him against the bar, and put his cigarette out on Elfman's shoulder.

To add salt to the wound he grounded the burning butt hard against Elfman's skin.

Elfman screamed in agony.

"God," Natsu scoffed, "you're all so pathetic and childish. I have no idea what h- I had ever seen in you lot. Well I'm off," he dusted his hands off, "I'm going to find some friends who aren't so boring." He then swaggered towards the door before he turned, smirked, and flipped them off. "Later Losers!" he called back.

Everyone stood there with their jaws dropped wide open as they watched Natsu swarm off into the sunset (well….not really, it was only noon or something) while making a nearby child cry.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…Okay," Gray croaked as he finally found his voice, "okay, what the hell? Seriously what the hell?"

"Thank God Erza wasn't here," Wendy said, the redhead had stormed off in a huff after Mira revealed that the cake Gray destroyed had been the last one, "I don't think Natsu-san would have made it to the door with…." She waved her arms uselessly. "Do you think he is ill?" she asked worriedly. "He smelt weird and acted so out of character, and he didn't wear his scarf!"

"He knew the word plebeian," Gray muttered, "since when does Natsu use words like plebeian and correctly?!"

"Juvia is confused," Juvia said, "when did Natsu-san start smoking? He always thought that was a waste of fire."

"And where's Happy?" Lisanna cried out. "They went on a job together, what if whatever has infected Natsu had eaten him or something?!"

"That's the bits you guys notice?!" Elfman cried out indignantly. "He put his cigarette out on me!"

"Don't worry Elfman," Mira cracked her knuckles, an ugly look that people hadn't seen since Lisanna died appeared on her face, "I'll get that sodding bastard for you."

"Nee-san!" Elfman sobbed.

"And then I'll break his neck," Mira hissed fiercely, "for daring to lay his hands on me and calling me toots."

"Nee-san!" Elfman sobbed again….though this time it was out of fear of his own sister. Lisanna patted him gently on his arm, deliberate avoiding the burn Natsu had so cruelly left on him. "I will help and show Natsu who is the manliest!" Elfman swore.

"Of course you are," Lisanna said soothingly, "I have complete be-"

"Oh come on baby!" they all heard Natsu purr. The sleaziness and creepiness and unnaturalness of it all sent shivers down everyone's spine. They all turned to see Lucy marching into the guild looking utterly furious, Natsu was following her in a predatory manner, and Erza was not far behind looking confused and cross. "I didn't mean anything by it. I was just teasing."

"You were acting like Loke!" Lucy snarled furiously. "That's not teasing that's being a perverted playboy."

"As soon as I am over the shock," Erza murmured, her arms firmly wrapped round her chest, "I am going to murder you Natsu."

Everyone's jaws dropped at that. Natsu had groped Erza now, did he have a death wish?

Natsu ignored her (which was always a death sentence in its own right and caused everyone's jaw to drop even further) and focused solely on Lucy. He stepped in close and shot her an intense look that made everyone else's skin crawl uncomfortably. "Come on baby," he purred in a husky voice, which made everyone cringe, "you know you're the only one for me. There's no one else I would rather share my thoughts and dreams with, or hold close to my heart, or kiss until our lips are swollen and raw."

"Oh!" Lucy's eyes fluttered closed as Natsu trailed a stream of hot air against her cheek and down her neck. Then her face clouded over with suspicion. "Since when have you been so eloquent and soppy?"

"You bring it out of me," Natsu smirked as he took Lucy's hand into his and held it to his lips. First he kissed her palm, then her knuckles, and then slowly, steadily, he started pressing kisses up her arm. "You are the moon and the stars to me," he murmured between kisses, "let me prove it you right now."

"Oh!" Lucy gasped again as Natsu pressed his lips softly against her shoulder. "Are you sure you're all right? Because you're not acting like you….oh," she groaned as Natsu's lips pressed themselves at a sensitive spot at the nape of her neck. "Okay," she mumbled hazily, "let's go one a date."

And with that, Natsu and Lucy walked out of the building hand in hand. "Guh!" Gray gagged. "Someone pass me a sick bucket because I think I'm going to be sick."

"Awesome!" Natsu grinned. "Who's been making the dainty snowflake ill this time?"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Hi guys!" Happy enthused as he flew across the room. "We're home!"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Wow!" Happy blinked. "I think we broke them Natsu."

"Really?! Cool! We are so awesome…..wait," Natsu blinked dumbly, "what did we do to break them?"

Everyone stared at Natsu. Dumb, sweet, naïve, Natsu with his scarf and no creepy goatee, and no smoking but a very annoyingly cheerful Happy, and then they turned to look at the door where the sleazy Natsu had walked out of with Lucy, and then they looked back at Natsu, and then back at the door.

Macao and Wakaba (who had been observing the whole thing drunkenly) had their mouths wide open as they made squeaky noises pointing to Natsu and then back to the door.

"Jeeze," Natsu frowned lightly, "what's with you weirdos? Did something happen?"

"Natsu," Gray croaked finally finding his voice, "what does plebeian mean?"

"Pleby-whaty?"

"Oh thank God!" Natsu squawked as Gray suddenly flung his very naked arms round him and squeezed the living daylights out of him. If it wasn't for the fact they had already been through the wringer everyone's jaws might have dropped again as they freaked out of this apocalyptic event. "You're your normal stupid self again!"

"Gerroff me!" Natsu squirmed. "You creepy, perverted, ice f-"

Natsu was interrupted by a loud trumpet that tooted a very familiar tune…..the Alvarez Royal Family greeting. Everyone turned to see two uniformed servants at the door, with a long red carpet, and flower petals being strewn across being placed down on their dirty, blood-stained, floor.

"Presenting his Imperial Highness, the great Zeref, Emperor of Alvarez!" One servant bellowed. "And also presenting his beautiful wife, her Imperial Highness, Empress Mavis."

"Honestly Zeref," Mavis whined as she stepped in, "did you have to bring the fanfare with us? I thought this was a state of emergency not a propaganda trip."

"I tried to leave them at home," Zeref grumbled, "Believe me I even threatened execution but they insisted."

"Your Majesties!" Erza curtsied. "You honour us with your presence. How can we help you today?"

"Zeref and Mavis, not some fancy title," Mavis stressed, "we're family first. Always."

"Natsu," Zeref murmured.

"Zeref," Natsu nodded back.

There was then an awkward silence and then suddenly Gray realised, as Zeref's dark, intense, eyes stared at him creepily, that he was still hugging Natsu and leaped away quickly. This allowed Natsu to actually move and hug Zeref which Zeref returned awkwardly and shyly.

"What brings you here?" Natsu asked. "I thought we weren't going to see each other till next month because of some conference or the other."

"A terrible thing has occurred," Zeref said solemnly, "one of my prisoners has escaped and he plans to make your life a misery."

"Why?!" Natsu wailed. "What have I done to him?"

"It's not so much what you have done to him but what you are to him," Zeref said gently….which only served to confuse Natsu all the more. Zeref sighed. "Natsu, I don't know how to tell you this but….well….you have an evil twin brother."

There was a silence as everyone's eyes bulged out of their sockets. Happy's were the only ones that popped out of sheer shock while everyone else's were out of realisation as all of Natsu's weird behaviour from the last hour or so finally made sense.

Natsu, however, choked on his own spit. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN I HAVE AN EVIL TWIN BROTHER?!" he bellowed furiously. "WASN'T ONE EVIL BROTHER ENOUGH?! WHY DO I NEED ANOTHER?!"

"Ah, well," Zeref flushed bright red, "perhaps evil twin brother is an exaggeration."

"So he's not evil?" Natsu asked hopefully.

"Oh no, he's evil all right," Zeref replied cheerfully and Natsu instantly deflated, "but evil twin isn't quite accurate, after all no one is born evil, he is a magically created clone of you….that was evil."

"Why not call him an evil clone then?" Gray asked.

"Evil twin sounds better," Zeref mumbled.

"Zeref made him while he was particularly evil under the curse," Mavis explained the evilness aspect, "so that sort of seeped in."

"….Why?!" Natsu despaired.

"I was very lonely those four hundred years alone," Zeref explained sheepishly, "and tried to recreate you in my desperation for company."

"Must have been very desperate," Gray snorted.

Natsu groaned. "Why does he want to make my life a misery? Weren't you the one that locked him up?" he complained.

"Yes but I did spend a lot of time telling him that you were better than him," Zeref said, "so like most evil twins he has gone out of his way to cause trouble in your life. He has probably already insulted and hurt your friends and made you seem like a sleazy jackarse."

Everyone nodded and muttered their agreement which made Natsu jump. "You met him?!" he cried out.

"He was horrible!" Lisanna shuddered. "He was rude, disgusting, and mean. The things he did to Mira-nee and Elfman-nii-chan were terrible."

"He," Erza said in her deadliest voice, "touched my bottom!"

Natsu turned a deathly white at that. "Oh dear God…." He groaned. "Where is he now? What else is he going to do?"

"Well," Zeref said thoughtfully, "he could try and ruin your professional reputation," everyone raised an eyebrow at that 'what professional reputation?' they all thought sarcastically, "or frame you for a crime like a bank robbery, or that other evil twin cliché, what was it again?"

"Seducing the girlfriend slash wife," Mavis pipped up cheerfully."

"Yes," Zeref snapped his fingers, "that."

"Oh my God, Lucy-san!" Wendy gasped horrified as she clutched her face in fear. "She just went out on a date with Natsu's Evil Twin fifteen minutes ago!"

"….LUCY!" Natsu roared as he sped out of the guild building. "I'LL SAVE YOU! AND I'LL RIP THOSE DIRTY PAWS MY PATHETIC TWIN HAS AND SHOVE THEM UP HIS-"

Zeref blanched at the sudden stream of incredibly rude threats that were sprouting out of Natsu's mouth while Mavis giggled, highly entertained, they both then ran after Natsu with the anti-magic chains and their servants panting for breath behind them.

"Natsu is going to beat himself up?" Gray lit up at the thought. "I got to see this!"

"Wait for Juvia, Gray-sama!"

And soon, everyone but Macao and Wakaba (who fully intended to take advantage of the unguarded bar) ran out of the guild building in their haste to save Lucy or watch the Evil Natsu get his butt kicked.

This was when Master came home, amused and a little relieved to see his brats out playing instead of trashing his building, and was just about to help himself to a nice whiskey and unwind when he couldn't help but notice….

"WHY IS THERE A CHAIR STUCK IN THE WALL?!"

FTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT

Lucy knew there was something wrong with Natsu from the moment she set eyes on him. After all, what the hell was that on his face? And why was he flirting with Erza of all people.

But he had temporarily swept her off her feet (even if he was being unnaturally eloquent in a very Loke-like manner) and she tried not to think about it and move on…but it was getting harder and harder as their date continued.

First, it was a niggling feeling about Happy. "Hey," she said softly, "where's Happy? I thought he would loudly sobbing because Charle wasn't in the guild to greet him."

"Who cares about Happy?" Natsu said uncaringly. "Especially when they get to spend time in your radiant presence instead?"

That had instantly made Lucy feel sick to her stomach because since when did Natsu not care about Happy? Happy was family. And she couldn't stop thinking how weird and cringe-y the smooth line Natsu delivered without any of his adorable, silly, sincerity. Natsu never called her radiant before in their lives. She was weird and important and a lot of other awkwardly phrased compliments that sounded a bit like an insult, but she wasn't radiant.

She didn't think Natsu knew what radiant meant never mind ever use it in his life before.

Then Natsu continued to act all weird, he had impeccable manners (which was so unnatural that Lucy kept glancing up the sky for a flying pig) but whenever he thought she wasn't looking he was eyeing up some other pretty girl that walked past. He discussed literature and art with her which was nice if it wasn't for the fact that her Natsu never read anything unless she had written it and never admired a drawing unless Happy or Asuka shoved one of their scribblings under his nose. This Natsu didn't even seem to be aware that she was a writer.

The real nail in the coffin was the lack of scarf.

Natsu's scarf had been the only memento he had of Igneel. He bathes with that scarf on half the time and would have to be brutally murdered before he willingly took it off, and yet here he was with a naked neck and a hideous thing sprouting out of chin (he had only been gone for four days how could he have grown that much in that amount of time?!) that kept scratching her skin whenever he pressed kisses on her.

Whatever hot, fluttery, feelings he caused earlier had quickly evaporated for ones of disgust and revulsion.

"Where's your scarf?" she asked idly.

"What is with everyone and that stupid scarf?" Natsu rolled his eyes. "It's summer. Who would wear a scarf in this heat? Now come here, gorgeous," he purred, "and let's make some heat of our o-ACK!"

He didn't even get close enough to her to do more than brush her waist as she suddenly grabbed his arm and hauled him over her shoulder (thank you Erza for teaching that particular move). "Who are you?" she hissed. "And what have you done to Natsu?"

"What are you talking about, sweetheart?" the imposter said in a velvety smooth voice. "I am Natsu. Are you feeling well? Perhaps you have spent too much time in the s-ARGH!"

Lucy enjoyed grinding her foo in the base of the imposter's spine. "Don't try sweet-talking me," she growled, "I know Natsu and you're not him. Now tell me," she stomped on him, "where." Another stomp. "Is." And another. "Natsu?"

"All right, all right!" the imposter wailed. "I'll tell you. He's-"

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF HER!" Natsu's voice cut through the air. Lucy whirled round excitedly to see Natsu, Happy, a small portion of the guild that she had left behind earlier, and, for some reason, Zeref and Mavis. "LUCY!" Natsu skidded across the field (leaving a blaze of fire that Juvia had to put out behind him). "Don't believe that nutter. He's not….erm," he blinked as he took in the sight of himself being pinned by Lucy's leather booted foot. "Are you being weirdly kinky again?" he asked nervously.

"NO!" Lucy barked furiously. Her cheeks bright pink at the implication fortunately no one (but Erza, Gray, Mira, and Mavis who all had different reactions varying from embarrassment to disgust to amusement) seemed to have caught onto it, so she let it go. "I deduced that this wasn't you and was in the middle of an interrogation to your whereabouts."

"Oh," Natsu blinked again, and then slowly, a lazy grin appeared on his face, "well I'm here now so you can let him go."

Lucy did so….but only to kick him back into the ground when he tried to crawl away. "Who is he?" Lucy asked curiously.

"My evil twin brother that Zeref made."

"WHAT?!" Lucy shrieked. "Why on earth would you do that?!" she whirled round furiously to face Zeref. "Wasn't the legions of other evil demons enough?"

"In my defence," Zeref said indignantly, "it was a very lonely four hundred years."

"...you know what I was wrong," Lucy said flatly, "there is no clever Dragneel brother."

Zeref wilted at that while Natsu laughed, oblivious to the insult aimed at him as well, and Mavis nodded sombrely in agreement. "We're very fortunate to have caught him before any real damage was done," she said, "thank you once again Fairy Tail for cleaning up Zeref's mess."

Zeref opened his mouth to argue but both Mavis and Natsu glared at him and he immediately closed it and quickly moved to chain up the evil version of his brother. Not that he was very evil if you asked Lucy, a selfish, creepy, pain in the butt but he hadn't drowned any kittens or anything.

"What will you do with him now?" Erza asked. "I doubt there's a prison that can actually keep him if he has even a percentage of Natsu's strength, magic, and stubbornness."

"You guess correctly," Evil Natsu smirked, "doll-face."

Erza's face contorted at that. Mira snarled wordlessly, Lisanna and Wendy shuddered, Elfman muttered something about how unmanly it was, while everyone else grimaced at the sickening endearment.

"We'll figure something out," Zeref said reassuringly, "we do have some of the best mages on our payroll. I am sure we can have him warded so tightly that even he won't know where he is."

"Yeah," Mira said sceptically, "no offense but that's not very reassuring when he had already escaped your security measures in the first place."

"Well then," Mavis said brightly, "what would you suggest?"

Erza's armour changed into a very deadly and terrifying set. "Let me deal with him," she smirked.

Mira also transformed into her scariest demonic form. "And me," she added in a very dangerous voice.

A shiver ran down everyone's spine….

"So," Natsu said loudly as his twin screamed bloody blue murder across the field where Erza and Mira were slowly killing him. "How did you figure out it wasn't me?"

"Oh Natsu," Lucy smiled, "it was so obvious once I got over the shock. There is no way you could be so intelligent and sophisticated, and that good at kissing. He had to be an imposter."

"Yeah," Natsu grinned, "exact – hey wait!" he cried out indignantly. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?!"

"That I like you, stupid," Lucy giggled as she grabbed the scarf that was so wholly Natsu and used it to pull him close. "Just the way you are, scarf, blue cat, stupidity, and all," she then slipped onto her tip-toes and kissed him.

It was awkward, and sloppy, and perfect.

"Blergh!" Gray ruined the mood. "So now that's over please tell me that you don't have any more evil people stashed in your dungeon," he begged Zeref, "I don't think I can cope if it turns out Natsu has an even more evil triplet."

"Erm," Zeref sweat-dropped, "I can promise you there is no more evil people in the dungeon," Gray began to sigh in relief, "but in the sub-basement under the dungeons, however," and then instantly tensed up, "I did try to make a companion for life a couple of times…"

"Don't worry," Mavis rolled her eyes, "the sub-basement under the dungeons is totally empty. I had the servants burn everything to ashes."

And with that an awkward silence fell upon everyone as they contemplated the fact Mavis had just admitted to murdering all of Zeref's evil ex-girlfriends….