Summary: Nashi and Ur take on their deadliest job ever….babysitting the triplets.

Pairings: Nashi/Ur, implied Natsu/Lucy, implied Gray/Juvia, implied Nashi/Gilly friendship, parental Mira/Nashi, some implied sisterly Mira/Lisanna if you squint, implied Happy/Charle, and Lisanna/Bickslow

YouTube Prompt: Natsu/Lucy video to 'Runaway' by Black Stone Cherry.

Nashi scowled at the job request board.

Fate, or most likely the adults of Fairy Tail, was conspiring against her. It was as if they all suddenly needed money at the same time. That they all had a sudden urge to do something adventurous…because the request board was completely and utterly empty apart from one job request. One, small, evil, job request…

She didn't want to do it.

But she really needed the money. Gilly's birthday was coming up and she wanted to get her best friend a present to die for.

But she really didn't want to do this job.

Damnit! She should have gone with her parents when they offered her a chance to join them. They rarely ever did (which always meant the danger was low key) and Nashi should have jumped at the chance to prove her worth to her parents but she wanted to prove her worth alone. Damn her need for independence it has led her to this.

"You know," Aunt Mira said, highly amused, "it's not going to disappear if you keep glaring at it like that."

"Oh I don't know," Nashi replied with false innocence, "if I glare at it enough it might just spontaneously combust into flames."

Aunt Mira smacked Nashi on the arm lightly. "Don't you dare!" she hissed. "Your Uncle Bickslow and Aunt Lisanna could really use the help and if you won't take the job someone else might."

"No one is going to take the job," Nashi said flatly, "not alone that is."

And once again she cursed the fact that Happy and Charle had taken that trip to visit the Exceeds. She never realised how different time was for the cat-like race until what Happy had called 'just a short visit to introduce Stella to our families' turned into a six month stint with no sign of them returning just yet. Damn….she could really use Stella right now as a sacrificial shield for this job.

"Ur-kun isn't doing anything," Aunt Mira said suggestively, her eyes twinkling mischievously, and the smallest, evillest, smiles pulling at her lips, "he could help you with this job."

Usually Nashi would get irritated at the implications of Aunt Mira's voice alone, usually she also wouldn't be easily tricked into such a horrible job as well, but right now Nashi's pride as a best friend, a Fairy Tail mage, and a Dragneel were all being challenged right now and, quite frankly, if she was going to suffer hell then she was definitely going to drag Ur down with her.

"Yeah, all right," Nashi grinned as she yanked the job off the board, "I'll get Ur in on this. I only need less than half the reward to get what I want anyway."

"Oh excellent!" Aunt Mira clasped her hands beneath her chin, tilted her head just so, and beamed radiantly. "I can't wait to tell Bickslow and Lisanna!"

Nashi froze momentarily. "You know," she said slowly, "you could have always taken the job."

"Oh no I couldn't!" Aunt Mira frowned slightly. "I am much too busy taking care of the guild."

As if to contradict her, there was a low whistle from the window that could only be heard because the guild was so damn empty. Nashi almost collapsed right there and then. Damnit! I've been tricked!

Well that settled it for certain, she was definitely dragging Ur down with her.

"Hey puddle-brain!" she yelled. "What are you up to? Other than taking up space."

"I can guarantee I was doing a great deal more than taking up space," Ur said dryly, "but I don't expect you to understand the concept of thinking since you're such an airhead."

Nashi's eye twitched at that but she couldn't fault him. She started it. "Whatever," she growled, "I've got a job to do but it requires two people."

"And you're asking me?" Ur's eyes lit up gleefully. "Finally ready to admit that I'm the backbone of the team and you're helpless without me?"

"No!" Nashi barked furiously. "You are literally my last choice. Edward has vanished for some sort of training session with Aunt Erza," they simultaneously shuddered at that. Aunt Erza was terrifying as a person but as a swords master imparting her wisdom? Zeref and all of his armies would have turned round and run screaming from that. "Gilly-Chan is away with her parents, Ellie is up in the mountains fighting Vulcans, Tulia is too young, Mum and Dad, and the spirits, are all gone, and-"

"Okay, okay, I get it," Ur interrupted huffily, "I'm your last choice ever."

"Good," Nashi said satisfied, "the reward is four hundred thousand jewels."

Ur whistled appreciatively. "Nice," he said, "it might be quite a high profile job."

"Oh it is," Nashi agreed.

Ur's stormy eyes sparkled excitedly at that. "Dangerous?" he asked hopefully.

"Deadly so," Nashi said with mock seriousness, "we might not make it out fully intact."

"Oh," Ur grinned, "I'm definitely in then."

He was like her in that respect, though she will never admit out loud even under torture, he craved the excitement and danger of it all, but most importantly, he was determined to prove his worth as a Fairy Tail mage….as his parents' son. Just as she was always out to prove herself while looking for that adventure. It was this similarity that egged them onto taking deadly jobs much to Uncle Laxus' never-ending annoyance ("You know your parents blame me when you're in danger, right? You irritating little brats.").

"Excellent!"

Nashi and Ur then shared a very rare moment (which they will deny if Aunt Mira ever brings it up) of fist-bumping their agreement on doing the job.

"So what exactly are we doing?" Ur asked. "Arresting bandits? Fighting a monster? Searching lost treasure?"

"Nope," Nashi popped the 'p' as she smirked. "We're babysitting the triplets."

The look of utmost horror on Ur's face as he rapidly paled was almost worth the hell Nashi was about to go through….almost.

"….Fuck," Ur swore.

FTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT

The triplets.

God, the triplets.

Nashi could face anything. Bandits, monsters, demons, crazy cult people who think sacrificing her will bring back Zeref (yes that has happened….no it did not end well for the cult people), fighting over the last biscuit with her Dad, the guild, her mother at her angriest, and probably even Aunt Erza at her most terrifying, Nashi could stare them all down with a cocky (if faked) grin….but she can't handle the triplets. No one can handle the triplets. Why do you think the board mysteriously got so empty? Even Nab would do a 'not perfect' job that could get him killed rather than spend an evening with the triplets.

"We could always pretend that we got lost," Ur offered, "and then go back to mine and hide out until tonight is over."

"Please," Nashi snorted, "no one would believe that. They drummed in where all the adults lived in our heads so we couldn't use that excuse."

"Why did you agree to this?!" Ur wailed. "It's the triplets! The triplets! Did you forget what happened to Asuka-nee when she babysat them the last time?"

Nashi and Ur shuddered at the horrified screaming, bubble-gum covered hair, and the scales, that caused nightmares for everyone who witnessed Asuka's torture at the hands of the triplets. "I had no choice," Nashi muttered, "Aunt Mira was going to make me do it one way or another."

"Hmm…" Ur hummed disbelievingly, "maybe they're not really that bad at home?" he said hopefully.

"Yeah right," Nashi snorted, "they scare me and I'm literally demon spawn."

Ur stopped to a halt at that and then whirled round to face her. Nashi hadn't noticed at first and continued to walk on until Ur reached out and grabbed her wrist. "Don't call yourself that," he said fiercely as he pulled her close. His stormy blue-grey eyes bore into her. "You're not demon spawn, you're Nashi," he declared, and Nashi raised a sceptical eyebrow at that. Since when did Ur get all defensive about what names she's called? "I mean," Ur added hastily, "You're an annoying pain in the butt but you're far from demon spawn."

"Whatever loser," Nashi rolled her eyes, "get off of me and get moving." She shrugged him off and yanked her arm away. "Jeeze," she muttered to herself as she started to walk away, "such a puddle-brain."

"Yeah," Ur said uncomfortably, his cheeks strangely pink, "well you're an airhead."

"And you're a pig," Nashi retorted as they turned onto the street that the triplets and their parents lived on. The outwardly cute cottage was deceptive about the evil it housed. "A foul, rude, hideous, pig!"

Ur grinned at that. "Bimbo," he drawled.

"Snowflake."

"Fire-breath."

"Icy Prick."

"Kidnapper's Bait."

They were at the doorstep at this point and after knocking on the door, Nashi whirled round furiously. "You could talk!" she snapped indignantly. "You've been kidnapped just as much as I have. Aqua-Loser!"

"Oh so original," Ur mocked, "What's wrong cotton-head, is your brain hurting having to actually think of insults?"

Nashi's face contorted at this, cotton-head?! "You-"

"YOU'RE HERE!"

The front door had suddenly been ripped open as Aunt Lisanna bounced out with a gleeful look on her face. The sudden noise and movement had caused both Nashi and Ur to jump and almost fall off the front porch. As Nashi wobbled precariously round the edge she realised just exactly how close she and Ur had been standing to one another.

"Hi Aunt Lisanna!" Nashi said loudly as she regained her footing. She took in the sight of Aunt Lisanna whose hair was neatly groomed behind her ears, her dusky pink dress hugged all of her curves, and her lips were painted in a matching colour that made her smile all the sweeter. "You look nice."

"Very pretty," Ur agreed.

"Oh thank you!" Aunt Lisanna beamed. "And thank you so much for agreeing to babysit. We've been struggling to find someone for months." Ur and Nashi shifted guiltily, they were still half considering running away at this point. "It's always so nice to know that Fairy Tail sticks together no matter what."

"Erm," Nashi mumbled, "yeah."

"Bickslow, sweetie," Lisanna called back into the house, "the babysitters are here."

"Oh thank God!" Uncle Bickslow could be heard. He stepped out looking exhausted and very not Uncle Bickslow. Nashi and Ur struggled to hide their shock to see him without his helmet on. They had never seen him look so groomed and clean before in their lives. Behind him, three, familiar, whitehead peered round and Nashi and Ur stiffened slightly. The triplets sniggered. "Now kids," Uncle Bickslow said jovially as he grinned down at his children, and then back at Nashi and Ur. "You have fun, no sweets after seven o'clock, pyjamas and bed by nine o'clock, and please, please don't break anything-"

"We won't Uncle Bickslow," Nashi and Ur promised solemnly in unison.

"We cannot afford to have another babysitter to sue us for damages," Uncle Bickslow continued, not even looking at Nashi and Ur now, they both paled rapidly at his words. "So promise Daddy that you'll be on your best behaviour."

"Bickslow!" Aunt Lisanna chided laughingly. "Don't scare our babysitters away before we even leave."

The triplets smiled innocently. "We promise Daddy," they chorused.

Nashi and Ur shuddered at that. Piper, Peter, and Pepper were terrifying by just standing there looking sweet. They all looked the same, with short white hair, dark blue eyes, and a mis-mash of Uncle Bickslow and Aunt Lisanna features. It was difficult to discern which one was Peter as they all dressed in the same gender neutral clothes.

Everyone has fallen at least once for one of them pretending to be the other. They have made even Uncle Freed and Aunt Levy's head spin in confusion with their antics. No one knew which one was which triplet….not even Uncle Bickslow and Aunt Lisanna.

"Good babies," Uncle Bickslow said lovingly as he ruffled each of the triplets' hair. Aunt Lisanna rushed back in and kissed them all on the forehead sweetly. "Night, night, sleep tight."

He slipped his hand into aunt Lisanna's and they were suddenly rushing towards the front door as if they greatly feared that Nashi and Ur would change their minds before they got out. "We'll be back by eleven! Have fun!" Aunt Lisanna called over her shoulder. "And be good!" she added sternly

The front door slammed shut and that was when the three, unconvincing, angelic smiles instantly turned into evil smirks as the triplets' faces transformed into the faces of evil sprites. Already plotting something terrible…

Nashi and Ur gulped.

FTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT

It was eleven fifteen and Uncle Bickslow and Aunt Lisanna were late (not that Ur could blame them when their children were the triplets)….not that it mattered because Nashi and Ur were going to die. They were already tied upside down and hanging from the kitchen ceiling and the only reason they haven't been put through worse torture was because Peter couldn't find a cauldron big enough for the pair of them.

What the triplets were going to do with them and a cauldron, Ur didn't know, and he really didn't want to find out.

"This," he growled, "is all your fault. You just had to let them play hide and seek."

"How was I supposed to know they were going to ambush us?!"

"It's the triplets!"

That was the greatest shame of them all. They, two sixteen year olds, who had have years of experience in magic, dangerous jobs, and handling psychos who want revenge on their parents, had been bested by eleven year olds. They had stupidly agreed to hide and seek, they had been ambushed, and then it progressed into a long-drawn out battle where Ur and Nashi had mostly been on the defence, the house steadily getting destroyed around them, until they were both knocked out.

When they came to, they found themselves tied up and hanging upside down from the kitchen ceiling.

Nashi wiggled against the bindings and, Ur realised with a burning sensation, against Ur himself. "What are you doing?!" he squeaked.

"Cutting through the ropes," Nashi grunted, "now shush."

"I thought the triplets confiscated your axe?" Ur frowned. "How are you going to cut through the ropes?"

"Before I was allowed to learn the axe," Nashi explained impatiently, "I had to master the scissors." And with that the rope suddenly snapped and they fell forwards quickly to the floor. Ur would have screamed abuse about Nashi's stupidity before they splattered to death on the floor but Nashi's hand flew out as she yelled, "WOOL BOMB!"

A cloud of pink fluff spurted out of her hand and they immediately bounced off on the soft, squishy, stuff and rolled safely onto the kitchen floor. Ur landed on his back as Nashi fell on top of him, her bushy blonde hair covering his face.

"You," Ur wheezed, his mouth full of hair, "are amazing."

Nashi smirked at that. "Why thank you," she purred smugly as she pulled back so she was sitting on his lap, her hands splayed out against his chest. "It's about time you recognised my awesome-ness."

Ur's initial instinct was to open his mouth and make such a witty retort that Nashi would still be fuming over it for the next month but his brain died a sudden, inexplicable, death as he suddenly realised the position he was in. Lying flat out on the kitchen floor with what was suddenly a really pretty blonde (when did Nashi get so….so….urgh, he couldn't even think of the words to describe it!) straddling him. All he could see was the pink flush on her skin and the movement of her chest as she breathed, and the gleeful sparkle in her eyes, and -

"Hem, hem."

It was then when Nashi and Ur realised that Uncle Bickslow and Aunt Lisanna were standing at the kitchen door. They both looked highly amused but once they realised the damage to their house, Nashi and Ur had no doubt that would change.

They immediately leaped up and as far as from one another as possible before they bowed repeatedly. "We're sorry about the mess!" they yelled. "We'll clean it up right away!"

Uncle Bickslow and Aunt Lisanna exchanged bewildered looks. "….what mess?" they asked. Nashi and Ur's jaws dropped as part of the kitchen literally fell apart at that very moment. One of the triplets, Piper (or was it Pepper? It could very well be Peter for all they knew) ran in, spotted their parents, cursed, and ran out. Aunt Lisanna immediately chased after her (or him) scolding them furiously. "No, seriously," Uncle Bickslow said confused, unbothered by the fact his wife was chasing one of his children who had just tormented their babysitters, "what mess?"

Nashi and Ur sweat-dropped.

This was the last time they were ever agreeing to a babysitting request.

Especially for the triplets.