Summary: The Dragneel brothers and their favourite blondes go on a double date….

Pairings: Zeref/Mavis, Natsu/Lucy, brotherly Zeref/Natsu, Mavis/Lucy friendship, and crack implied Zeref/Lucy.

Author's Note: Thank you all so very much for giving me over NINETY FIVE HUNDRED reviews! And also, Happy Valentine's Day!

"Natsu," Zeref said nervously, "I was wondering if I could ask you a favour."

It was a typical day in the guild and Zeref had only just been able to get Natsu alone in a sort of quiet corner of the room (Vijeeter was nearby dancing but he was easily ignored compared to the general chaos of everyone else) and away from Happy who, despite being a lovable cuddly-looking cat, would have certainly teased Zeref about what he was going to ask.

"Sure," Natsu shrugged, "what's up?"

Zeref shifted uncomfortably. "Well, you see," he mumbled as he suddenly found his shoes incredibly interesting and decided to focus on them instead of the fact his cheeks felt really hot, "I was wondering….wouldyougoonadoubledatewithmeandMavis?!" he blurted out hurriedly.

"Eh?!" Natsu yelped looking confused, disgusted, and rather disturbed. "Did you just proposition me?!"

"What?!" Zeref choked. "No!"

"You did!" Natsu pointed at him wildly. "You just asked me to go on a date with you!"

"A double date!" Zeref snarled defensively. "I'll be dating Mavis, not you, and you'll bring Lucy to be your date!"

"Oh!" Natsu's eyes widened with realisation. "See that makes more sense. Why didn't you say that in the first place?" Zeref's eye twitched slightly and he once again cursed the day he accidentally dropped his baby brother when he first held him. And all the times Igneel accidentally dropped him during their flying sessions. Igneel can take some of the blame too. "Wait!" Natsu suddenly turned a strange shade of pink. "What makes you think I'll bring Lucy?" he mumbled in a very weird, un-Natsu, shy tone.

"Well," Zeref said uncomfortably, "she's your girlfriend, isn't she?"

Please tell him that he wasn't going to have to discuss Natsu's love life with him….because Zeref could barely cope with his own love life right now, he so couldn't handle giving advice when the only kiss he had ended up killing his girlfriend.

"Huh," Natsu scratched the back of his head, "I suppose she is. I never thought about that." Zeref face-palmed. "So why do you want us to go on a double date? That's not the sort of thing you usually ask to do."

"Well, you see," Zeref said awkwardly as he became all too aware of how hot it was in the guild once more, "I would like to take Mavis to this really romantic restaurant on the other side of Fiore but the terms of my probation stipulate I can't leave Magnolia without at least two members of Fairy Tail escorting me."

Natsu pulled a face at that. Even though he had been present at all the negotiations of Zeref's full punishment (starting from the huge reparations he had to pay, continuing with his year of 'captivity' to ensure said reparation would be paid by his nation, and then the full details of his probation that allows him to spend said 'captivity' with Natsu instead of a prison cell) the whole thing still confused him. Natsu was definitely not made to be a politician that was for sure.

"Yeah, all right," Natsu shrugged, "me and Luce can make sure that you and Mavis will have a nice time."

"Thank you," Zeref sighed in relief. "This means a lot to me." He then took a deep breath, rallied his courage, and picked up the humongous bouquet of flowers he had brought earlier in order to woo the right answer out of Mavis' lips when he asked her out.

"What are those for?" Natsu asked.

"For Mavis," Zeref replied.

"Why?" Natsu asked worriedly. "Is she sick?"

"No," Zeref said as patiently as possible, "I thought to give them to her when I ask her out." Natsu looked weirded out at that and Zeref sighed with frustration this time round. "It is considered romantic," he explained.

"Why not just ask her?" Natsu rolled his eyes. "Instead of wasting time with flowers and crap."

"Why don't you just focus asking Lucy out," Zeref said through gritted teeth, "and I'll worry about Mavis, ne?"

"Oh right, yeah," Natsu scratched the back of his head again, "I oughta ask Lucy or she won't show up." And then, much to Zeref's horror, Natsu turned round, cupped his mouth, and bellowed; "OI LUCE!" Zeref scrambled to try and stop Natsu from shouting it out for the whole world to hear instead of taking Lucy's feelings in consideration and asking her in private (Mother would be so ashamed right now) but Natsu merely jumped away and onto a chair, undeterred. "WANNA GO OUT ON A DOUBLE DATE WITH ME, ZEREF, AND MAVIS? ZEREF SAYS WE'RE GOING TO SOME FANCY RESTAURANT."

Zeref froze with mortification and held his breath when Lucy suddenly just shrugged. "Sure," she said completely and utterly unbothered by the fact Natsu had asked her in the most unromantic way ever, "Why not?"

"Awesome!"

And with that Natsu jumped off the chair and brushed some random dust off of his clothes. "Natsu!" Zeref hissed. "You never ask a girl out like that! It's embarrassing! Mother would be so-"

"So," Mavis appeared out of nowhere, and incredibly close to Zeref which caused him to interrupt himself with a squeak, "I hear we're going on a double date with Natsu and Lucy."

"Sorry," Zeref lowered his head in shame, "I was going to ask you properly but Natsu just…." He gestured uselessly at Natsu.

"Well then," Mavis smiled as she pulled the flowers out of Zeref's limp arms, "good thing I was going to say yes regardless." She giggled as Zeref looked up hopefully. "I'll see you tonight," she winked and then abruptly she ran to Lucy's side. "Luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucy!" she yelled as she tackled Lucy from the side and hugged Lucy tightly. The taller, curvier, blonde staggered back against the bar looking embarrassed and unsure how to deal with what was happening with her. "We should get ready together!" she declared as she started to tug a stuttering Lucy out of the guild building. "It would be good future sister in law bonding time!"

At this both Natsu and Zeref choked.

Wait, what?!

FTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT

It went downhill from the moment Natsu and Zeref went to pick up the girls.

They had gotten ready together into some formal wear (much to Natsu's never-ending whinging) that Zeref quite honestly found hideously uncomfortable as he tugged at his tie constantly and felt terribly constrained in his shirt, waistcoat, and blazer. He was far too used to his baggy clothing for his own good. The sight of Natsu dressed in formal wear, looking so grown up, intelligent, and alive, almost brought tears to Zeref's eyes (okay, it did, and Natsu had screwed up his face and demanded to know why Zeref was being such a weirdo. Explaining it only led to Natsu declaring that Zeref is indeed a weirdo), and together they awkwardly shuffled towards Lucy's apartment where she and Mavis had been getting ready.

Mavis opened the door to greet them with a radiant smile.

Immediately Zeref felt his face heat up as he took in the sight of Mavis all dressed up. He had never seen Mavis with her hair pulled up into a bun, a few stray curls falling out of it stylishly, which brought out a maturity in her face that he didn't see often. She wore a black evening dress covered in little sparkly things that looked like diamonds, and she sparkled with beauty and glamour that he never usually applied to her.

"You….you….you…." he stammered, "look beautiful!" he managed to choke out and then coughed awkwardly to clear his throat.

Mavis's smile grew bigger (if that was possible, she had already been smiling her widest, happiest, smile). "Thank you!" she trilled. "You aren't so bad looking yourself," she winked. Zeref tugged at his shirt collar as the room suddenly felt even hotter than before. Natsu pulled a childish face and rolled his eyes at that. "Lucy!" Mavis called back over her shoulder. "The boys are here. It's time to go!"

Lucy called something back and within a couple minutes stepped out of the bathroom. She also looked stunning in a deep red dress that hugged all of her curves and added an elegance Zeref never noticed (as Lucy was just as rough and violent as everyone else in Fairy Tail) to her.

She smiled in Natsu's direction as her eyes darkened in appreciation of his formal outfit. "You look nice, Natsu," she complimented him, "very smart."

And then she waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Zeref nudged Natsu with his elbow. "Compliment her back!" he hissed in his little brother's ear.

"Meh," Natsu shrugged, "you look the same as always." Lucy's face contorted furiously, Zeref moaned piteously, and Mavis scowled at that. Natsu, who wasn't completely stupid, immediately picked up on everyone's anger and looked around the room bewilderedly. "What?!" he squawked indignantly. "She's always beautiful, how is that a bad thing?"

And instantly the tension left the room as Lucy blushed and smiled and stammered something out, and Natsu called her a weirdo, and she called him an idiot, and they all left to make their way to the restaurant.

Which meant getting onto the train, which of course meant almost immediately Natsu keeled over with motion sickness, and that, of course, meant that all conversation, romantic gestures, or anything civilised at all, died a ghastly death as Natsu moaned and groaned and gagged loudly the entire trip.

To make matters worse just as the train was about to stop, Natsu finally vomited…..all over Mavis' shoes.

Mavis shrieked as the sick splattered across her legs, tears of disgust and distress welled up in her jade-green eyes. "The bathroom at the restaurant," Lucy said quickly, "You can wash your legs in there and Natsu will dry them. Won't you Natsu?"

"Yeah," Natsu groaned as wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, "sorry. I'll help you clean up. Guh."

Zeref helped Mavis cover her legs with is blazer as they shuffled towards the restaurant and as soon as the server came to show them to their table, Mavis demanded to know where the bathroom was, and dashed off immediately as she dragged Natsu with her by the scarf (Natsu choking violently as he followed).

And so, while they waited for Natsu and Mavis, Zeref found himself sitting across Lucy with an awkward silence hanging between them. There was violins playing in the background, candles flickering on the table, and roses everywhere….and their significant others were nowhere to be seen.

"So, erm," Zeref mumbled unable to meet her eye, "how are you?"

"I'm fine," Lucy replied, there was another beat of silence. "You?"

"I'm good." There was an incredibly long silence at this point as Lucy fumbled with her keys and Zeref sipped his water just to have something to do. He was totally at a loss on what to say to the girl his brother was blatantly in love with. And to make matters worse is that he knew her mother and her grandmother and her great grandmother and her….well you get the picture, he knew them all, and really well, but he didn't know Lucy. It would be awkward if he started to discuss something that he knew Layla liked or something he had done with Anna, and Lucy knew nothing about it. Then, after an embarrassingly long time, it had hit him. They could talk about Natsu. "How did you end up in a team with Natsu?"

Lucy lit up at that and immediately launched into a rant about how Natsu tricked her and teased her and how they ended up not even getting the reward money because they never truly finished the job they were asked to do. This then led, much to Zeref's relief, to a conversation about books.

When you had four hundred years to plan your demise you also had way too much time on your hands. There is little that Zeref hadn't read.

It was then when Mavis and Natsu finally returned to the table. Mavis' sullen expression immediately lit up with joy as she leaped into the conversation and started wildly listing all the ones that she wanted to read. Lucy and Zeref eagerly added to her list and the three of them were having a wonderful time…

Natsu, however, crossed his arms and glowered at the table.

"Honestly Natsu," Zeref chided gently, "if you weren't so stubborn and actually let someone to teach you how to r-"

"I know how to read!" Natsu snapped. "I just find it boring. The only stories I like," he grinned sideways at Lucy, "are written by Lucy."

Lucy smiled and blushed at that, Mavis looked delighted, and Zeref smiled with soft fondness at that. It was then when the server arrived at the table to take their orders. Apart from trying to stop Natsu from ordering half the menu, they managed to give their orders without incident until the very end.

"Okay, so that is one venison steak, one salmon, the linguine, and the scallops," the server repeated as they jotted it down. "Is there anything else I could get you?" they shook their heads and the server smiled sweetly. "Very well. We'll get that too as soon as possible," they made a move to leave but not before they turned back and smiled once more. "I must say, you two make a cute couple."

It was then when the entire group realised, with belated horror and disgust that the server wasn't pointing to Zeref and Mavis or Natsu and Lucy, but to Zeref and Lucy. The atmosphere instantaneously turned frosty. Lucy spluttered and stammered as she tried to correct the server while Zeref just lost the will to live as he could see Natsu spontaneously combust into flames, his eyes sparkling demonically, Mavis had stiffened at Zeref's side, she suddenly gripped a knife so tightly that her knuckles had turned white, and her eyes had a terrifying gleam in them….

Zeref had to hold back a sob of despair when ten minutes later he stood in the cold watching the most romantic restaurant in the kingdom burn down to the ground.

His dreams of feeding Mavis the best and richest food while entwining their arms together so they could drink champagne as violins played in the background were all gone and shattered truly…

It really didn't help matters that Natsu and Mavis high-fived one another.

FTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT

They went home with the heads hung down in shame (apart from Natsu who seemed rather pleased with himself until they got back onto the train) when Mavis suddenly slipped her hand into Zeref's and gave it a comforting squeeze.

"I'm sorry," he moaned, "that could have gone a lot better."

"It was nice," Mavis reassured him, "though maybe in the future we should go one dates without Natsu and Lucy. As much as I like them I can do without Natsu being sick on me or Lucy being mistaken as your girlfriend," she glowered at that and Zeref winced as he remembered the shrill screams of their server as she set Sirius on them.

"Well hopefully the restaurant being burnt to the ground won't affect my probation and when it ends in a few months we can go to nice places and leave them behind," Zeref said hopefully though he had doubts. The Magic Council would like to lock him up in a cell not give him more freedom. "Where are they anyway?" he asked when he suddenly realised it had been too quiet and that neither Natsu nor Lucy protested against the slight at them.

"A little way back," Mavis shrugged. Zeref turned to look for his little brother (because God knows what Natsu could get up to for five minutes alone) when Mavis grabbed his chin and forced him to look back at her. "You don't want to look. Trust me."

"Why?" Zeref asked. And then realisation hit him and his eyes widened. "Oh!" he said slowly. "Oh I see."

"Yeah you really don't want to though," Mavis screwed her nose up, "your little brother is a very sloppy kisser."

"Mavis!" Zeref groaned with horrified disgust. "I didn't need to know that. Ever."

Mavis just laughed before she stepped up closer to him. Zeref's heart started to beat rapidly as her dainty fingers trailed up his arms, brushed against his shoulders, before meeting behind his neck as she rose up to her tip-toes, and –

"What are you guys doing?!"

"GAH!"

Mavis and Zeref ripped apart from one another as Natsu suddenly flung an arm round Zeref and scared the living daylights out him. "Natsu!" Mavis, Zeref, and Lucy all shrieked at the same time. "Don't jump on your brother like that!" Lucy carried on furiously. "Couldn't you tell he was having a moment with Mavis?!"

"Meh," Natsu shrugged uncaringly while Zeref furiously cursed himself for even bothering to bring back such a cockblocks from the dead. It was so not fair that Natsu blatantly had traces of Lucy's lipstick round his lips but he hadn't even had a chance to kiss Mavis' cheek (seriously which one was supposed to be the older, wiser, more experienced brother again?) "I thought you wanted to ask them if they wanted to go to the guild for a hot chocolate before we all went home."

Zeref almost considered saying something nasty as he was utterly furious with how his double date had gone but Mavis spoke up before he could even think of a retort. "Sure!" she beamed. "Sounds like fun." And so they all started to trudge towards the guild. Mavis weaved her fingers between Zeref's again and the smallest of smiles slickered on his lips. "I really do hope," she murmured quietly, "that you're not going to wait until your probation is over before you ask me out again. There is a lot of things we can do in Magnolia alone."

Zeref grinned so manically that it almost rivalled Natsu's. "Well then," he said suggestively, "would you like to join me for a p-"

"Well, well, well," Happy interrupted as he flew into the Dragneel brothers and their dates faces. Zeref inwardly swore and privately wondered if one of the Gods was just doing this one purpose (hadn't he been punished enough with four hundred years of damnation?). "You got to a restaurant that is famous for its salmon," he hissed, "and you didn't invite me?!"

The rest of the night was spent trying to explain to Happy that they were on a double date and why exactly that meant he couldn't come with them.

It didn't end well.