Summary: Inspired by an episode of Full House. The boys are put in charge of the children and it's time for a bedtime story….

Pairings: Implied Gray/Juvia, implied Jellal/Erza, implied Gajeel/Levy, implied Natsu/Lucy, parental Jellal/Edward, parental Gajeel/Gilly, parental Gray/Ur, parental Natsu/Nashi, implied parental Erza/Edward, implied parental Juvia/Ur, implied parental Levy/Gilly, implied parental Lucy/Nashi, and general other family and friendship feels.

Author's Note: Thank you all for giving me over NINETY SEVEN HUNDRED reviews! And so quickly! Also I've realised I prompted a song by Journey in my last chapter but it's actually by Def Leppard…..oops.

"Now then," Jellal said sternly, "are you four going to sleep now?"

The adorable sight of Nashi, Gilly, Edward, and Ur all tucked in the same bed (Gilly and Edward were firmly placed between Nashi and Ur to prevent any more kicking and punching) didn't fool him at all. They had been little terrors all night fighting against being put into bed.

Once again he inwardly cursed the fact it was girls night and he and the boys were expected to look after the children.

And that the Exceeds totally bailed on them with a sudden fishing trip.

He now couldn't wait for boys night even if it was going to end in a brawl like all other boys night have done so in the past

"No!" all four children chorused in unison. "I'm not tired yet, Dad," Edward tacked on with sweet innocence as he blinked Erza's beautiful brown eyes at him.

Jellal was not moved. His son might be one of the sweetest of the bunch (which wasn't hard to be when you're comparing him to Ur and Nashi) but he was still a Fairy Tail child. None of them were really innocent. "Yes you are," he said firmly, "you've been yawning all evening."

But it was too late, Edward had opened the flood gates and now all the other children were whinging and moaning.

"I can't sleep!"

"I'm not tired either!"

"Can't we stay up a little longer?!"

"Oi!" Gajeel barked. "Pack it in you brats! You're going to bed, you're going to like it, and you're going to sleep!"

"But Daddy!" Gilly whined. "I can't sleep without a story!"

Gajeel's face softened a touch there as he reached out and heavily patted Gilly's head. "You can tonight," he said gently, "Munchkin."

"Nu-huh!" Gilly shook her head rapidly.

"I can't sleep either without one of Mummy's stories," Nashi pouted, "Daddy, you'll tell us a story won't you?"

Natsu looked terrified when suddenly everyone turned to look at him. You would have thought they asked him to go into a bear pit with Erza and Mirajane for a one on one battle. "Err…" he choked out as he hastily looked for a way to escape the room without resorting to jumping out of a window.

His hesitance gave the children the opening they needed.

"Yeah!" Ur suddenly burst out. "We need a story!"

"Story! Story! Story!" Nashi and Gilly chanted. "Story! Story! Story!"

"I would feel a lot sleepier," Edward said slyly, "after a bedtime story."

"Story! Story! Story! Story! Stor-"

"All right, all right!" Gray snapped as he waved his hands in the air. The children immediately fell silent and looked at him eagerly. "One story," Gray stressed, "and then it's straight to sleep, got it?"

"Got it!" the children all chimed in unison. "Who is going to tell us one?" Gilly asked excitedly.

"HE IS!"

Jellal's eye twitched while the children all sweat-dropped as Gray, Natsu, and Gajeel all pointed at each other melodramatically. Which ones were supposed to be the mature adults again….?

"I'm not doing it," Gajeel hissed through gritted teeth, "you two dweebs are!"

"Nuh-uh!" Natsu shook his head childishly. "Gray can do it.!"

"No," Gray snarled. "You can!"

"No," Natsu growled back, "you!"

"You!"

"You!"

"You!"

"You!"

"You!"

"You!"

"You!"

"You!"

"You!"

"You!"

"You!"

"You!"

"You!"

"You!"

At this point Gajeel, Gray, and Natsu were completely in each other's faces as spit flew, tempers flared, and there was definitely poking at one another's chests going on. Jellal privately wondered what it was like to have normal, mature, quiet friends…..

The children, however, all exchanged nervous glances. They might only be four but they had built in senses for when a brawl was about to break out.

"How about…..all of you tell a story?" Edward suggested tentatively. "You can take it in turns."

"Huh," Gray murmured, "that doesn't sound like a bad idea."

Natsu shrugged and ran a hand through his hair. "I can live with that," he said cheerfully as if he hadn't been in the middle of an argument mere seconds before.

"Whatever," Gajeel grunted.

"Nice job Edward," Jellal praised his son as he patted Edward's shoulder, "you solved the problem and stopped a fight. You're a born diplomat." He then gazed coolly at his so called pairs and gave them his best evil councilman sneer. "Congratulations," he drawled out, "A four year old is more intelligent and mature than the three of you put together."

Gajeel, Natsu, and Gray's faces all contorted furiously as they flushed with embarrassment. Undoubtedly Jellal's snark had just sparked another fight when the children all suddenly pipped up; "Story!" they all demanded rudely. Gajeel, Gray, and Jellal all sent the children a withering look. "Please!" they added hastily.

"Ok," Jellal said, suddenly a little nervous. He never had to tell a bedtime story before. It had been something Erza insisted on doing herself and unable to deny her anything, Jellal had often stepped back and let Erza have the bedtime ritual to herself. "How to begin?"

"Once Upon a Time…." Nashi prompted sweetly.

"Right," Jellal nodded, "Once Upon a Time there once lived a beautiful princess who….Gajeel's turn!" he shouted suddenly as he immediately hit a writer's block.

(Jesus, how does Lucy do it with all those pages and pages of stories?!)

"The fu- erm," Gajeel coughed over his curse, "the princess who….ah….Gray!"

"Was kidnapped by a great big ugly dragon," Gray said immediately, "She was instantly taken away to a high, high, tower in the middle of nowhere and was expected to rub the dragon's scaly, smelly, feet."

"My feet are not smelly!" Natsu burst out furiously. "And I didn't kidnap Lucy!"

"Not every dragon story is about you," Gray rolled his eyes exasperatedly, "and your feet totally stink," he added with a sly grin.

Natsu flushed at that and balled his hands into fists. "Does not!" he cried out childishly.

Gray smirked tauntingly. "Does too!" he replied just as childishly.

"Does not!"

"Does too!"

"Does not!"

"Does too!"

"Does not!"

"Does too!"

"Does not!"

"Does too!"

"Does not!"

"Does too!"

Jellal pinched the bridge of his nose as he tried to fight off an oncoming migraine. It's times like this that he really doesn't blame Erza having developed such a violent temper. These idiots needed their heads bashing together every so often. With a frustrated sigh, Jellal opened his mouth to remind Natsu and Gray that they weren't the children in the room when….well the children in the room beat him too it.

"STORY TIME!" Nashi bellowed impatiently and effectively shutting Natsu and Gray up as they stared at the little girl with wide eyes. "The princess was forced to be a slave to the Dragon," Nashi prompted, "and then what happens?"

"Erm….yeah," Natsu scratched the back of his neck, "what happens Jellal?"

"A dashing, handsome, prince comes to her rescue," Jellal said dryly, "he is the most brave and courageous prince there is and when he comes across the Dragon he has no problem taking his sword out and then-"

"And then he is instantly eaten by the Dragon," Gajeel interrupted.

"Gajeel!"

"What?" Gajeel blinked. "A Prince has no hope against a Dragon. He'll be used as a toothpick to get out all the other, much bigger, things the Dragon ate just earlier that day."

"The children!"

By that Jellal meant that four year olds were way too young to hear a story where someone dies by brutal murder…..but Gajeel didn't get that at all.

"What?" Gajeel whined. "They don't care. Do you care, kids?"

"That depends," Gilly said solemnly, "was the Dragon nice to anyone that wasn't annoying princes?"

"Yes," Jellal and Natsu said.

"No," Gray and Gajeel grunted.

"The Dragon was nice to the princess after a fashion," Jellal said hurriedly. "Like Beauty and the Beast! Yeah! They had a beautiful, sweet, enduring romance like Beauty and the Beast!"

Gajeel looked constipated at that, Natsu confused, and Gray grimaced. "Urgh!" he groaned to himself. "I'm taking over before this becomes too soppy. It was a romance like Beauty and the Beast until another prince came along and this time he was victorious. The Dragon fell to his death with a terrible screech and the princess came running out-"

"- in time to see the Dragon get up and shoot a fireball at the prince!" Natsu butted in. "Dragons' don't die easily!"

"But this one did because it instantly had a heart attack!" Gray barked. Infuriated that Natsu had interrupted at him and unwilling to let a chance to needle him go by.

"But it was fine!" Natsu yelled back.

"It had another one," Gray said flatly.

"And was still living a long, happy, life," Natsu counteracted.

"Until it tripped and fell, face first, one some spikes."

"It was still fine!" Natsu yelped. "It could live happily blind!"

"For God sake Natsu!" Gray snapped irritably. "Let us tell them a normal fairy tale where the prince slays the dragon and marries the girl!"

"Never!" Natsu cried out melodramatically. "You-"

Sensing what would undoubtedly be another childish argument followed by a ferocious fist fight, Jellal immediately jumped in before Natsu could say something rude to Gray. "Okay!" he clapped his hands together loudly. "My turn," he stressed with a glower in Gray and Natsu's direction. It only half worked while they didn't break out into a physical fight they certainly decided to continue bickering. "While the prince and the dragon battled on and on for what felt like an eternity," another very emphatic glare was shot at Natsu and Gray which they ignored, "the princess was attacked by some Vulcans."

"Who stripped her," Gajeel grunted.

Jellal face palmed. Why did he even bother? Seriously? "She screamed and screamed for help but neither the Dragon nor the Prince could hear her," he carried on deciding if he flew past that maybe the children wouldn't get the wrong idea. "It was then when she learnt that she had to save herself and gained some inner strength and courage-"

"Oh Jeeze!" Gajeel groaned. "Be realistic. She tried to punch the hairy monkey but failed fortunately a knight was nearby who-"

"Happened to be the most beautiful, strongest, woman in the kingdom," Jellal said maybe with just a little too much admiration as he couldn't help but think of his wife who was definitely the most beautiful and strongest woman in the kingdom, "and led a group of Amazonian warriors all just as beautiful and deadly as the first."

Gajeel opened his mouth as if to argue this but then immediately looked thoughtful and snapped his mouth shut again. "Sounds about right," he nodded approvingly, Gray and Natsu also murmured their agreements to this before they turned back to their argument, all were obviously thinking about the women that abandoned them to babysitting this evening, "together they rescued the princess and indoctrinated her into their cult of hating men."

"They included her in their sisterhood," Jellal corrected.

"Just like I said!" Gajeel snarled.

"And together the girls went off into the sunset in order to have many more adventures," Jellal continued hurriedly before Gajeel could say anything else that was sexist. "They lived happily ever after. The End!"

Oh thank God that was over….Jellal was sure this had been the most painful experience of his life and he's been through torture and childbirth with Erza (which could probably fall under torture when he thought about it….)

"Wait! Wait!" Nashi cried out. "What about the Dragon and the Prince?!"

Jellal and Gajeel glanced sideways to Natsu and Gray who were completely in one another's faces shouting rude words at one another. "Still fighting," Jellal said dryly, "some people never grow up. Now good night children!" he said firmly as he pulled the duvet up to their chins and quickly pressed kisses on all of their foreheads (Ur wiped his away with a scowl and Edward flushed in embarrassment but at least the girls were being nice about it.). "Sweet dreams!"

"Yes, night brats," Gajeel said gruffly before h turned towards Gray and Natsu who were still arguing. "Cut it out you losers!" Gajeel growled as he shoved Natsu and Gray out of the bedroom door. "The kids need their sleep!"

Jellal winced as he heard something smash outside and prayed to God it wasn't the vase that Erza picked out especially for their first home together. With the obvious sounds of more fighting starting to get louder he decided it was best to put an end to it before the children decided to use it as an excuse to stay up even later. Quickly, before any of them could get out of bed, Jellal switched the light off and firmly shut the door.

There was a moment of silence in the room as all four children stared at the bedroom door with wide eyes. They weren't entirely sure what actually happened…..they think they might have just had a bedtime story but it was hard to be sure….

"That," Ur drawled out slowly, "was the weirdest, most fucked up, story I ever heard," (meanwhile across town Juvia sat up from lounging on the floor after gorging out on chocolate as a demonic gleam entered her eyes. Her motherly instincts were telling her someone had corrupted her baby.), "and Mum tells me Daddy-Sama stories."

Everyone shuddered at that.

"I think I'm going to have nightmares," Gilly said solemnly, "that was one of the worst stories ever and I have read every badly written, trashy, novel my Mum keeps under the bed."

"I miss Mummy," Nashi sighed sadly, "She told the best stories."

"Mine doesn't," Edward said, "in fact that was the best story I've had."

"…"

"…"

"…oh God!" Gilly cried out softly. "You poor thing!"

No one gets any sleep that night.