Summary: Inspired by an episode of Soul Eater. Juvia decides to move on from Gray to someone else…

Pairings: Fairy Tail Girl friendship, Gray/Juvia, and Juvia/OC.

YouTube Prompt: Fairy Tail girl tribute to 'Dance Girl' by Black Stone Cherry.

Girl's night in at Fairy Hills was rapidly ending in the same way it usually did…..with everyone getting completely and utterly rat-arsed drunk. This, of course, meant that Erza had become a tyrant, Levy was a giggly mess on the floor, Wendy had passed out, Lucy was trying to get the nearest person to purr (Mirajane didn't mind. It was rather amusing), and Juvia was sobbing.

"Aw, Jeeze," Cana groaned, "it's a party Juvia. Cheer up! Have another drink!"

Cana's attempt to cheer Juvia involved shoving another three alcoholic drinks down the weepy water mage's throat. Unsurprisingly, this failed epically as Juvia ended up clutching the toiler as she wailed loudly between throwing up.

"There, there, Juvia," Lucy patted Juvia's back as the blue-haired girl gagged and retched into the toilet bowl. "Shh…." Lucy hummed as she rubbed soothing circles on Juvia's back. "Everything is going to be all right."

"No it's not!" Juvia wailed as she sat up. Streams of tears ran down her cheeks like huge, gushing, rivers. Kinana looked down nervously at the rapidly flooding floor that everyone else seemed to be ignoring. "Gray-sama is never going to return Juvia's love!" Juvia cried out mournfully. "Juvia tries and tries her best with presents and home cooked food and lovely gestures and looking nice but Gray-sama never seems to notice her!"

"Probably 'cause you're trying too hard," Cana said lazily, "if you just back off I bet you anything he'll come crawling to you."

"Juvia would never resist if she tried to back off!" Juvia sniffled as she pulled the toilet paper so that the entire roll unravelled into her lap. She blew her nose, loudly like a foghorn (several girls winced in embarrassment at that), into a piece and whimpered pathetically. "Juvia would end up annoying Gray-sama again and then they will never get married and have their beautiful, perfect, babies!"

"Then move on!" Laki snapped impatiently. "You're a gorgeous, powerful, independent woman. There are plenty of men that would eat glass just to land a date with you. Date one of them instead of wasting your life pining for Gray," she said the last bit in disgust and an exaggerated eye-roll.

She, like everyone else in the room, couldn't see the attraction Juvia had in Gray.

"You're right…." Juvia said quietly. "Juvia needs to move on….and Juvia knows exactly who with!"

"EH?!"

Everyone's jaws dropped wide-open in shock at that as they all stared flabbergasted at Juvia. They thought it would take another three years at least to convince Juvia that she should date someone else.

"That was fast!" Mirajane exclaimed. "Who is it?"

"Someone special, sweet, and kind," Juvia said dreamily as she clutched her hands beneath her chin. Love hearts could visibly be seen in her eyes as her cheeks turned a rosy pink with admiration and embarrassment. Everyone leaned in excitedly to find out who it was. "Juvia…Juvia…Juvia…" Juvia stammered shyly. The girls all waved their hands in an encouraging gesture. Some – like Mira – even impatiently muttered the word 'yes' repeatedly in an attempt to get Juvia to spill her secret more quickly. "Juvia going to marry this toilet!" Juvia squealed excitedly as she suddenly wrapped her arms round the white china basin. Sparkles and love hearts seemed to jump out from her as she nuzzled the toilet seat. Everyone else….immediately collapsed on the soaking floor out of shock and horror. "After all a toilet will accept anything and everything, you know?" Juvia gushed, unaware of her friends nauseated and horrified expressions, "He's truly Juvia's ideal lover."

"Juvia…." Lucy sweat-dropped worriedly. "That's a toilet."

Juvia blinked innocently. "And?" she asked cluelessly.

Lucy opened her mouth with a ready explanation on how an inanimate object couldn't be your husband but Levy grabbed her shoulder and squeezed it. "Don't worry," she grinned wryly, "This has happened before, we'll handle this." She then turned to Juvia and fixed a solemn expression one her face. "But Juvia," she said in a falsely innocently curious voice, "wouldn't it be annoying if the toilet seat was ever left up?"

Juvia shook her head so rapidly that her hair smacked her face loudly. "Juvia can put up with that!" she declared determinedly.

Levy slumped at that. Her attempt to point out a flaw that annoyed most women in a relationship was a total flop despite having worked a couple times before.

"You know," Evergreen jumped in slyly, "sometimes he'll sigh because he secretly can't put up with the pressure."

Juvia froze at that. Her smile slowly fading away and glanced nervously back at the toilet. "…He will?" she asked fearfully.

"He will," Evergreen nodded sagely. "In fact!" she pushed her glasses up and stood in a pose to suggest wisdom and all-knowing-ness. "He might even secretly leak somewhere without you knowing," she whispered dramatically.

Juvia blanched at that.

"H-How indecent!" Wendy tottered. "And you know that he won't have good hygiene," she added to the toliet's flaws. "God knows what you could catch from him!"

(Lucy choked at that. Unable to believe sweet and innocent Wendy had managed to imply THAT….God, Charle was right. They were all a terrible influence on her.)

"And there is the fact Juvia," Erza said sternly, a demonic glint in her eye as she sharpened her sword. "That he accepts anything and everything from everyone else."

That was the final straw for Juvia as she shot up onto her feet in a towering rage. "YOU CHEATING BASTARD!" she screeched.

Lucy could only watch in horror when Juvia punched the toiler with all her magic and strength causing the white china basin to explode and shatter into pieces. All that remained was a broken pipe that was shooting out water and rapidly flooding the bathroom floor….

"She….she…..she…."

"Aw, man!" Cana scratched the back of her neck. "That's gonna cost a bomb to get fixed."

"That's okay," Erza said calmly, "we know a good plumber that will do it cheaply…..though I am struggling to find an explanation for this expense to Master."

"….This has happened before?!" Lucy yelped.

"Twelfth time this year," Levy chirped.

"….It's March!"

"Man," Cana snickered. "Juvia's really got to stop drinking so much." Everyone turned round slowly and gave Cana a withering glare. "What?" she asked obliviously. "What did I say?"