She is
by
Sakura-chan Master of the Clow
Track 03: 우주가 있어 (Orbit)

Disclaimer: I do not own any original characters from CardCaptor Sakura. They belong to the beautiful members of CLAMP. I also don't own any of the songs or lyrics referenced in this fanfiction. All belongs to the brilliant writer, composer, singer-songwriter, poet, and artist that is SHINee's Jonghyun and all those who helped create the album. However, the storyline for this fanfiction is all mine–inspired by the album "She is" itself, of course–so please no copyright.

Announcement: Slight tweaks made to the ending of Chapter 2. Please read that first before continuing this chapter. It's very subtle; you might not even notice but just letting y'all know.

~🎵º✨✨✨✨✨º🎵~

Before that day in the ramen shop, Sakura and I have been inseparable. I could see now why Eriol didn't want to have Sakura stay with him and Tomoyo; when you're living with the one you love, even when you live together, you want them to yourself all the time. But, recently, Sakura has been kind of distant from me. In subtle ways, like when I catch her gaze, she turns away quickly or—more notably—how she's been making more groups plans with friends, so we're not alone together for too long. I worry it might be because she feels self-conscious over my confession. Or it could be that she feels we must make more time for our other friends.

I'm surprised when my sudden view of the park we were walking in gets obscured by twinkling green eyes.

"Syaoran-kun, they're over there!" Her playful lips smile as if they wanna show me. My eyes go to hers again. I can never get enough; it's like there's a universe in her eyes, expanding and in wonder at all the beauty this world shows. Suddenly she turns, and my vision of her eyes is cut off. Sakura lets go of my hand as she runs towards Eriol and Daidouji waiting for us.

I decide to take my time, watching her figure close in on our waiting friends. I notice some guys turning their heads as she passes by. I can faintly make out their conversation.

"Did you see that girl who passed by?"

"That short-haired one that just now? Yeah, she was cute, huh."

"You think I should ask her out?"

I give the two a look over. A guy like you? Yeah, right, go away.

I hurry my pace a bit and catch up to Sakura; that way, they know that I'm with her. Sakura jumps into a hug with Daidouji while I do my usual greeting with Eriol. We exchange pleasantries as we sit down on the picnic blanket Eriol and Tomoyo had already set up for us.

We take any chance we get to eat together at school. Eriol found this park on campus when we first enrolled, and we've been meeting here ever since. It seems to be more popular with the art department, but it's still pretty quaint and spacious enough where each group gathering has their privacy. I take out the bentos Sakura and I prepared and place them in the middle between everyone. Everyone's eyes light up as I reveal the contents.

Daidouji is the one to take the first bite and hums in satisfaction. "I'm glad you get to eat delicious meals like this every day, Sakura-chan." Daidouji turns to me, a warm smile on her face. "Please continue to treat Sakura-chan well."

A bit embarrassed, I reply, "Er, yeah, of course." I look at Sakura, remembering my promise to not hide my feelings for her anymore. "As long as Sakura will have me."

Give me a chance; my inner voice pleads what I cannot yet say aloud. Eriol gives a low whistle, and Sakura turns away from my gaze. See?

Daidouji's eyes shift between us both until finally settling on a knowing look at me and smiles. She's always been way too observant for those around her, especially when involving Sakura. Daidouji's knowing smile turns on Sakura, who shakes her head in response; they seem to be having a full-on conversation with only their eyes. I guess you could do that when you're close enough to the person.

I wonder if I could do that with Sakura. Although, of course, we have gotten closer since living together. But are we that close? I hope so. I test it out, but she's not even looking at me. So maybe I can just telepathically talk to her, and hopefully, it'll go through?

Sakura, tell me what you want. Be honest. Tell me.

As if she heard me, Sakura finally turns to me, and once again, I see the beauty of a universe filled in her eyes. The moment our eyes electronically met, the tip of my ears felt a zap; the stars have twinkled. With only the force of her eyes, I am pulled into her gravity; sometimes, my eyes roll back at the splendor.

Please look back at me often, I try to say with only my eyes. Check to see if I'm revolving around you to see if the orbit is right.

I hear Eriol's voice calling out to me, and I realize it's not only Sakura who is looking at me. It seems they're expecting an answer from me. "I'm sorry, I didn't catch that."

"Of course not," Eriol says, amused.

"I was just complimenting you and Sakura-chan on your K-pop dance cover channel," Daidouji explains. "Your views are sure to get to the hundred-thousands in no time."

"If you keep a consistent upload schedule, you'll have a steady audience who will then recommend your channel to others."

"You think so?" I ask. "We're not really doing it for the views. It's all for fun, right?"

Sakura nods. "Syaoran-kun has really improved a lot. Now we're both able to learn a new dance at about the same pace. So we don't try to do it based on a schedule but more of whenever we finish learning a dance."

"You two could go far, though," said Eriol. "The edits you added the last few videos were great."

"That was all Syaoran-kun. He thought adding transitions would make it more exciting," Sakura said.

"You know what would really help?" Daidouji asks in a voice that makes me afraid to ask. But, before anyone does, she continues with, "Matching outfits!"
Of course.

"I've been inspired with you two, and if you let me know what songs you're planning to cover, I can make your outfits to go along with it! The transitions would look so much better with outfit changes!" Daidouji has stars in her eyes. But, unlike Sakura's, these are inspiration-has-hit-and-nothing-can-stop-me, kind of star eyes.
Sakura and I look to each other, and I swear we both have the same thought: there's no stopping Daidouji, so might as well let her have her fun too. I nod to Sakura.

"That'd be wonderful. Thank you, Tomoyo-chan," Sakura answers.

"I still think you two should think of doing this long-term," Eriol says. "A fast upload of a new song is sure to get you more viewers. Your 'Teaching my roommate K-pop dances' videos took off, and your general tutorial videos have a decent number of views too. You could very well get sponsors for your videos in the future; there are not many duo kpop cover artists and fewer if it's male and female. Have you looked at your stats and revenue yet?"

I didn't think our friends would support our channel and want to improve it. We haven't even considered this deeply about it. It's fun just spending time with Sakura doing something we both like.

"We looked at it once before just out of curiosity. Though we're really not doing this for the views," Sakura echos my previous answer. "I'm glad there are people that like and enjoy them, but it's not like we're making money off of them either, right Syaoran-kun?"

"Yeah," I agree. "The artist's company takes a big cut of it, and most of our videos are demonetized. Even our most popular video so far barely made ¥900. Which is fine. We're not dancing for the money, it's a passion and hobby of ours."

"That's right." Sakura smiles so brightly it could put the sun to shame.

Eriol looks between us both and smiles. "If that's how you feel, I won't push it. However, I ask that you at least think about it. You two have something…special here. Don't let it pass you by."

I suddenly have the feeling he's not talking about our channel anymore.

"Ah, Eriol-kun and I forgot to bring drinks," Daidouji abruptly announces. "Sakura-chan, come help me."

"Ah, yeah, sure," Sakura agrees, standing up. She pauses and turns to me. "Same as usual?"

I feel my lips pull into a smile. "Please and thank you." As soon as the girls are out of earshot, I feel Eriol nudge my ribs. "Ow, what?"

"Will you be alright?" He has his teasing voice on. It's okay; I also gave him a hard time when he and Daidouji started going out. It's rare to see Eriol lose his composure, but it happens more when it comes to her.

I sigh, deciding to humor him. "What do you mean?"

"I mean about your center of gravity stepping out for a few." I roll my eyes. "It's like you're a planet, and she's the sun with the way you even look at her, let alone how you treat her so gently. You're in deep. Does she know?"

I nod. "I confessed again."

"You're joking."

"I told her a few days ago over lunch."

"Lunch?" Eriol echoes. "You just casually confessed your feelings for her over lunch?"

"We had ramen."

"How romantic," says Eriol, somewhat sarcastically out of character for him. "So, does this mean you're a couple now?"

"I don't know," I sigh. "Sakura told me she likes me too but doesn't want to jump into a relationship. Which is understandable; it's not like she told me she loves me, you know? She said she likes me but never said love. Not yet. But now she's suddenly started avoiding me. I know she's not doing it on purpose, and it's only small things like avoiding my gaze when our eyes meet. But I wonder if maybe I screwed up confessing so soon. We've only been living together for three months already; we had a good thing going as friends. I'm afraid I might have ruined the daily life we built."

"So even though both your feelings are out there, she's playing hard to get? This is certainly an interesting turn of events," Eriol says. "So, what made you want to confess so suddenly? I thought you wanted to wait and see if she felt the same."

"There were times I felt like she might feel the same, but I wasn't sure and didn't want to give myself false hope," I say, "There's also the fact that I'm not the only guy who likes her. So I knew if I didn't act soon, someone else might ask her out before I could."

Eriol smirks. "Ah, you're referring to the comments saying she's cute."

"Not just that. Sakura naturally draws people in, her classes, and even this park. It's like they're all stars revolving around her. But they're all fake, man-made artificial satellites."

Eriol laughs. "Your poetic words are peculiarly bitter."

"Sorry. The last thing I want to come off is jealous. It's just that all those who say they like her only like her on the surface level. They don't know her like I do; they don't love her like I do. I swear by the moon, it's only her for me. Just being with her makes me happy. Even if she tells me not to follow her, I can't help it; she's like a magnet. I can no longer act like I'm not interested in her. My heart is already not listening to me; it's only looking at her."

Eriol smiled that knowing smile of his. "Have you told Sakura-chan all this?"

"I…I'm trying to find the right time. It's only been a few days; I don't want to overwhelm her."

"I wouldn't wait too long. I wouldn't worry about Sakura-chan's behavior either. It could very well be that she just doesn't quite know how to act around you yet. She's most likely embarrassed to properly face you right now. It's quite adorable, actually," Eriol mused.

If it's like that, I can't disagree. But, then again, "Anything Sakura does is adorable."

A few minutes later, the girls return with the drinks. Immediately I notice Sakura's flushed face. Did she get sick?

"Are you alright?" I ask before I can stop myself, my hand already reaching to feel her temperature.

Sakura leans away from my touch. "I'm fine."

She's most certainly not fine. I already know she's masking it to not inconvenience her friends. She's been pulling an awful lot of all-nighters as midterms are near. Stubbornly I gently place my hand over her forehead. Her face becomes even pinker if possible.

"You're warm," I say. "You need to rest, Sakura. You've been overworking yourself too much lately."

"There's no afternoon class today anyway. So go home and rest; we'll hang out again when you're feeling better," Daidouji pitches in. She gives me a kind smile. "It's okay. Take her home, Li-kun."

Sakura seems to shoot Daidouji a look of betrayal. I don't dwell on it too much and nod. I kneel down, my back to Sakura. "Get on. I'll carry you home."

"Th-that's really not necessary," Sakura protests. "I'll be too heavy. I can walk just fine, Syaoran-kun."

"It's fine to rely on others when you're not well, Sakura-chan," Eriol says. "And Syaoran-kun had proven to be reliable in the past. He'll take care of you well."

I caught the double meaning Eriol hinted at in the last part. Did Sakura catch it too? I turn my head to see her reaction, but she still looks more concerned over being too heavy for me. "It's fine, Sakura. You're not heavy at all."

After deliberating a bit more, Sakura agrees and climbs on my back. I make sure my hold on her legs is secure before standing up. Finally, I turn to bid farewell to Eriol and Daidouji. "We'll be leaving first. See you next time."

Daidouji smiles as if satisfied with herself. "We'll return your bentos next time we meet," she says. Eriol mouths to me a Good luck, mate. I thank them.

"I'm sorry for the trouble," Sakura whispers to me.

"It's no trouble," I reassure her. "I got you, so get some sleep, okay?" I feel her nod.

~🎵º✨✨✨✨✨º🎵~

The walk home is quiet. I feel Sakura's breath even out as she dozes off, yet her hold around my neck doesn't loosen. Before long, we're at the front of our door. I start beeping in the code to enter.

"I'm sorry," I hear Sakura mumble. I chuckle.

"What are you apologizing for now?" There's a pause, and I notice she's still asleep. I haven't heard her sleep talk before. How cute. I carefully open the door so as not to wake her. I remove both our shoes before heading for her room. I still knock even though she's still asleep before entering her room. It's one of our rules.

"Pardon the intrusion," I whisper.

I gently lay her in bed and tuck her in. There's a frown line on her brows. I poke at it, trying to ease it away. I wonder out loud, "What's worrying you so much?" My fingers go to clear her hair away from her face.

As if answering me, Sakura sleep talks once more. "I'm sorry. I love you too, Syaoran-kun."

I freeze.

I see. Smiling, I get up to make Sakura something light to eat for when she wakes up. I'm stopped when I feel something pull on my sleeve. I look down to see Sakura, eyes half-lid, holding on to me.

"Syaoran-kun," she calls out, her sleepy eyes trying to focus on me. "Where are you going?"

I sit on the edge of her bed and take her hand in mine. "I was just going to make you something to eat. How are you feeling?"

"I feel fine. I'm really not sick."

"Be honest," I say.

Sakura manages a smile. "Okay, maybe I'm just a bit tired. But that's all, really."

I raise a teasing brow. "Just a bit?" This time she laughs. I smile, knowing I'm the one who made her smile. I carefully ponder before asking, "Can I ask you something?" Sakura nods. "Why have you been acting distant lately? Even when you say you love me too?"

My words cause her to turn pink once more and scrambles into a sitting position. It gets irritating how much Eriol tends to be right—in this case, I don't mind so much.

"W-what do you mean?"

"So the one who acts not interested is speaking, that is until you fall asleep."

"I— I was sleep talking?" Sakura covers her face in her hands.

Sakura's embarrassed face. I wish she wouldn't cover it; I want to see it. Gently I take one of her hands in mine.

"Is it true?" I ask. "But don't lie. You're already wide awake now, break down your wall."

She turns her head towards the window. I can't help but be amused. Oh baby, where are you looking?

"Hey," I call out, my hand gently turning her head to face me. "It's just the two of us. Be honest. Tell me."

"I overheard you and Eriol-kun earlier," Sakura confessed. "I didn't realize your feelings for me are that deep. I felt ashamed for feeling nervous, but I still don't know how to act around you. This is all new to me; I don't know what it means to be a good girlfriend or how to start."

"Just be yourself," I reassure her. "That's enough for me."

"But you're always so considerate and take care of me. I feel like I'm the only one who's receiving. You look at me so gently it makes my heart beat so fast I have to look away, or I feel like it will overload."

Ah, so that's it.

I take the hand that's holding hers and move it to my chest, right over my heart. "You're not the only one who's nervous all the time."

Sakura's eyes widen, and her eyes lock on mine in the realization of how fast my heart is really beating. I see it click in her mind; we're one and the same.
"But it's the opposite for me," I tell her. "I can't get enough of you. One of the things I love most about you is your eyes, which say you have a special depth. There's a universe filled in your eyes. You are the brightest star in that universe, and I'm pulled in by your gravity."

Sakura smiles, that sweet smile of hers.

"I hope these words are special to you," I continue. "You already have all of me. All I ask is for you to check to see if I'm revolving around you, to see if this orbit is right."

"Okay, deal." Sakura laughs, her smile growing brighter. "I also—I want to be closer to you, Syaoran-kun. I want you to proudly say I'm your girlfriend, and I want to proudly say you're my boyfriend. So…let's try. I don't want to stay as only friends anymore."

"You mean it? You're ready?"

Sakura nods, her face scrunched in an adorably determined way. "And I'll do my best to not look away from you from now on. I'll look at you often."

"We'll take it slow," I say and kiss her hand. "There's no rush. I'm happy as long as I get to stay by your side. You're my space."

~🎵º✨✨✨✨✨º🎵~

A/N: Hope you enjoyed it. FYI rating might change next chapter. If you know, you know.

Chapter Updated: February 3, 2022