Summary: Erza teaches Edward how to drive while Jellal suffers…

Pairings: Implied Erza/Jellal, parental Erza/Edward, and parental Jellal/Edward.

YouTube Prompt: Post-Tartarus arc tribute to 'Photograph' by Nickleback.

"Today," Edward's mother announced gravely at breakfast, "I am going to teach you how to drive."

Since Edward could remember his mother always made announcements like this and they had always varied. From reading lessons to sword play lessons to writing lessons to how to properly decapitate a limb….his mother has taught him everything. But never before had his mother's announcements sent his father choking on his coffee like he was now.

"Erza!" Edward's father wheezed. "Edward is eleven."

"….And?" both Edward and his mother blinked.

"And," his father said calmly as possible while he pinched the bridge of his nose, obviously in an attempt to fight off an oncoming headache, "eleven is too young to be driving."

"Nonsense," Edward's mother dismissed the notion, "Edward was certainly not too young to learn how to gut someone when he was six. Why on earth should driving be any different?"

Edward's sentiments exactly.

"W-w-what?!" his father spluttered. "Erza!" he cried out horrified. "You told me that was a fishing trip!"

"We fished," his mother shrugged, "and then we gutted them until Edward learnt how to do it properly."

Edward's father face planted against the breakfast table and moaned. "I can see," he mumbled against the table cloth, "that if I were to forbid this you would just do it anyway."

"You are correct," his mother said shamelessly.

"Very well then," his father sat up properly and straightened his shirt collar, "teach Edward how to drive if you must….but I will accompany you."

And that was how all three of them ended up in Edward's mother's magical vehicle with Edward in the driving seat, his mother sitting beside him, and his father looking very pale in the backseat.

"Right then," his mother said in her sternest voice, "have you got your seatbelt on?"

"Yes."

"Checked all of your mirrors?"

"Yes."

"Magic band firmly wrapped round your wrist?" she questioned. "We can't have it unravelling while you're driving."

"It's on properly," Edward reassured her, "you put it on yourself and I can't feel my right wrist."

"Excellent," his mother said approvingly, "and have you eaten enough breakfast? Had enough orange juice? Because a vehicle like this is fuelled by you. If your magic goes too quickly and abruptly the car is likely to halt to a jolting stop and you'll be flung out of the windscreen."

"I have had enough," Edward said firmly, "and I won't go out of the windscreen, I'm seat-belted in."

"Good boy," his mother praised him with a small smile, "very well then. Turn the key in the ignition and DRIVE!" she barked suddenly. "GO! GO! GO!"

Edward, startled and alarmed, fumbled for the key before he turned it, started the engine, and suddenly pressed down as hard as he could on the accelerator which sent everyone flying back into their seats as the car careened forwards at a terrifying speed.

"Turn left!" his mother ordered. Edward jerked the driving wheel and could see in the mirror that his father was suddenly flung to the left of the backseat. "Now right!" Edward obeyed and once again his father slid quickly across the backseat. "Straight ahead as fast as you can!"

"Erza!" Edward's father squeaked in the back. "I'm not entirely sure this is the appropriate method to teach Edward to drive. Surely we should start with some theory?"

"Don't be ridiculous," his mother scoffed, "hands on training is the best way to learn," she said confidently, "it was how I learn to drive."

"And who," his father cried out as Edward jerked sideways to avoid someone walking by with a cart and sent his father careening across the backseat again, "taught you again exactly?"

"I taught myself," his mother said proudly.

"Oh dear God!"

Edward wasn't sure what made his father say that, it could have been the very thought of his mother not much older than Edward teaching herself to drive or it could be the fact that Edward turned round a corner to find himself at a dead end and was increasingly getting closer to crashing into the house at the very end of the road.

"BRAKE!" His mother screamed. Edward jumped and felt his foot slip from the accelerator. He fumbled round desperately. "BRAKE!" his foot found the pedal and he stomped on it hard….they began to fly faster down the road and closer to the house. "I SAID BRAKE!"

The house loomed in front of them just as Edward's foot found the right pedal and pressed down on it hard….

CRASH!

The car drove right through the fence and crashed right into the window of someone's living room but thankfully no one appeared to be in it and as debris fell upon the car roof, Edward could see that they hadn't destroyed anything more than the wall they drove into.

A personal best for Fairy Tail really.

"A good first attempt," his mother assessed, "but perhaps next time we should have our lesson outside of Magnolia. Less houses to accidentally crash into."

"Uncle Laxus is not going to be happy with us," Edward observed solemnly, "how many jobs do you think it'll take before I can pay for this?"

"You leave that to me," his mother said firmly but gently, "I should have taken this in account when I decided to teach you. The blame falls on me. But before we deal with the consequences we should really remove this car, would you like to learn how to reverse?"

Before Edward could even open his mouth to answer, his father whipped off his seatbelt and stumbled out through the car door before he staggered across the living room floor and suddenly collapsed on his knees and vomited all over the rug.

"Huh," his mother blinked, "I am beginning to think Gajeel is right when he said Natsu's motion sickness was contagious."

"Are you all right, Dad?" Edward asked worriedly. "If you want we can drive you to Wendy-nee's."

"No!" his father groaned before he vomited some more. "No more!" he said between retches. "Damn the kingdom needs to work on their road laws!"

Edward looked up bewilderedly at his mother who shrugged in reply….from that day forth his father never joined him on another driving lesson.

(And they were all conducted out in the countryside or Uncle Laxus would have them all electrocuted to death.)