She is
by
Sakura-chan Master of the Clow
Track 07: Cocktail
Disclaimer: I do not own any original characters from CardCaptor Sakura. They belong to the beautiful members of CLAMP. I also don't own any of the songs or lyrics referenced in this fanfiction. All belongs to the brilliant writer, composer, singer-songwriter, poet, and artist that is SHINee's Jonghyun and all those who helped create the album. However, the storyline for this fanfiction is all mine–inspired by the album "She is" itself, of course–so please no copyright.
~🎵º✨✨✨✨✨º🎵~
After over a year of planning, Eriol and Tomoyo's—I was asked to drop the formalities as her last name will change, also it was ridiculous I was still referring to her by last name after years of friendship—wedding went perfectly if I do say so myself. Before leaving for their honeymoon, to thank Sakura and I for helping out, they both decided to treat us to dinner.
Tomoyo took Sakura out earlier in the day and said they'd meet us at the restaurant. Eriol said Tomoyo would most likely dress Sakura up for tonight and he would follow her example and help me find something nice to wear. I was skeptical about letting him choose an outfit for me but I was pleasantly surprised. Though I wasn't expecting to wear a suit this soon again.
"Not that I don't appreciate it, but what's with the suit?" I ask as we take a seat, we arrived earlier than the girls.
"It's a nice place," Eriol said, all nonchalant as if to say obviously you must dress nicely if you're going to a nice place.
The restaurant is one Sakura and I frequent quite often—great food on a broke college kids' budget—and it is fancy enough that you could come dressed up for special occasions, though you wouldn't be kicked out if you're not in a dress or suit. It used to be a club before it got bought out and transformed into what it is now. There is a stage for a DJ and a dance floor still intact and has regular music nights. It's got the best of both worlds, good music, and dancing like the vibe of a club with fine dining quality food. It has a boardwalk-style balcony bordering the outside of it where it overlooks Tokyo bay.
"Don't you think a suit is too much?"
Eriol gives me a once-over look and says a very definite, "No."
"You're not wearing a suit," I point out.
"Sure I am."
"Trousers, a nice shirt and a blazer are not a suit."
"Combined the right way they could be."
I cross my arms. "What is this about, Eriol?"
He merely grins. "Do you still have it?"
"Have what?" He holds up his left hand and wiggles his now adorned ring finger. My eyebrows raise in understanding. "That's what this is about?"
He laughs. "Well, do you have it or not?"
My hand pats the velvet box in my pocket, which suddenly feels heavier. It's always with me, just in case I decide to grow some balls and finally propose to Sakura, but the timing never felt right. "Of course I still have it," I say, trying to play it off as nonchalant as Eriol did earlier but even I can hear my voice shake.
"I would hope so, Tomoyo and I helped pick it out after all."
"So…you're both expecting for me to propose to Sakura tonight," I say, more like a statement than asking for confirmation.
"My dear Tomoyo would really love to record your proposal to Sakura-chan."
I roll my eyes. Of course she would.
"Listen, I'm not sure tonight is the best time for that."
Eriol gave me a look of pity. "Don't tell me you're getting cold feet."
"What? Of course not it's just…"
"Don't you love Sakura-chan?"
"I do but—"
"You've waited your whole life for this and now you're gonna let it slip away?"
"Would you let me talk?" I snap. "I do love Sakura and want to marry her one day. I've been carrying this ring for over a year for God's sake, looking for the right time to ask her but…" Eriol remains quiet, patiently waiting for me to continue. "Whenever I imagined how I would pop the question, having an audience for it was never in the plan."
"Oh you don't have to worry about that," Eriol said, waving his hand as if to shoo away the idea. "You won't even see Tomoyo and me."
"That's not very reassuring."
Eriol smiles. "In all seriousness, although Tomoyo and I have set up this perfectly romantic setting for you to finally propose to Sakura-chan, you don't have to if you feel the timing isn't right. We just feel a bit guilty for overworking the two of you."
"It's fine. Your wedding turned out well."
"Only thanks to the two of you. You even had our blessings to propose to Sakura-chan during the reception, but you were both so busy making sure everything went smoothly."
"It's fine," I say. "That was the last thing on my mind that night. I'm just glad you both enjoyed your special day."
Eriol's usual smug knowing smile was replaced with one that was more sincere. "You both took a lot of the stress out of Tomoyo and I. When the time comes, please rely on us as well. I know I speak for Tomoyo as well when I say we want you and Sakura to have your happily ever after too."
"Thank you," I say, touched by his words. "You two will be the first we tell…if she says yes."
"I do not doubt that she will accept your proposal," Eriol assures me. I want to believe his words, but my nerves and anxiety scream inside my mind about the possible what if she says no? Stopping me dead in my tracks every time. "Ah, look. Your princess has arrived."
My eyes follow as he points to the entrance, and sure enough, Tomoyo and Sakura are talking to the hostess. Tomoyo is dressed in a glittering, gradient blue dress that reaches her ankles, over an elbow sleeve lace blouse, and a neat bow tied off the side of her waist. Sakura matches Tomoyo's gradient blue dress, but her design is more of an off-the-shoulder cocktail dress, the back longer than the front of her dress. The top layer seems to be embroidered to resemble the night sky, sparkles reflecting the light that hits it.
Sakura scans the inside and her eyes find mine right away. I can instantly feel my face grow hot. Tomoyo outdid herself this time. Sakura looks radiant. I feel myself stand with Eriol to greet the girls when they make it to our table, but it's like my body is on autopilot while my soul watches from above. We sit and make small talk but my eyes are glued to Sakura. A golden headband full of stars adorns her head blending in perfectly with her honey hair. And her makeup is light but oh so effective. I'll have to thank Tomoyo later.
"...ran-kun. Syaoran-kun."
Her sweet voice rings in my ears, pulling me back to reality. "Hmm?" I answer, still dazed.
"What would you like to drink?"
My eyes leave her long enough to realize the waiter has come to take our order. "Oh, I'm sorry babe. Order something, anything."
Before she can, I vaguely hear Eriol and Tomoyo place our drink orders for us. They look over the menu and talk amongst themselves deciding what appetizers to order first. Sakura's eyes look at me, full of concern. She places a gentle hand on mine.
"Are you okay? You seem spaced out," she says in a low voice to not draw attention to us.
"Sorry," I say, smiling softly. "When I'm with you, whatever it is, you make me lose my mind."
"I haven't done anything though," Sakura says, her cheeks flushed pink.
"Your presence is enough. Whenever I see you, I'm always out of it. Have I told you you look beautiful tonight yet?"
A kind smile pulls on her rosy lips. Before she can answer, Tomoyo grabs her attention, asking if calamari is okay to start as an appetizer.
"Yeah, that sounds great. And I'm ready to order too if you are." Sakura turns to me. "What about you, Syaoran-kun?"
"I'll take my usual, babe. You know what I want."
Sakura places our order. Even after the waiter leaves she doesn't look back at me and is instead preoccupied with the friendly chat Tomoyo and Eriol offer us. Where I am both engrossed in conversation yet my eyes mostly trained on Sakura, she seems to be avoiding eye contact as much as possible.
Don't avoid my eyes. Don't try to hide. I want to say. I'm vaguely away I am sulking, but I'm thirsty for her attention on me.
"Want to try my tea, Syaoran-kun?" Sakura asks, holding up her straw to me. "It's a lychee tea."
Finally, I can see myself reflected in her eyes. "You already know what I want," I say before I can stop myself. "It's only you," I whisper in her ear, before taking a sip of her tea. "Mm, it's good."
"I'm glad." Sakura is back to avoiding my eyes but her cheeks are even more flushed than before.
Just then, two cocktails are placed in front of me and Sakura. I look to Tomoyo and Eriol, eyebrows raised. "You know Sakura and I don't drink."
"I ordered ones that have very little alcohol in them. They're more fruity and sweet than anything," Tomoyo explains.
She's probably trying the make me forget reason enough to propose to Sakura tonight. The way she dressed her up, it might just work. I can hold my liquor just fine. Sakura, however, is as lightweight as it gets. She tried drinking with our group before, but the taste of alcohol, no matter the form, doesn't sit well with her taste buds. I decided to join her in not partaking in any alcohol, I never had much of a taste for it anyway. As a result, it made Sakura and I the ones to look after the others. I can see Sakura hesitating next to me.
"Just have a sip. If you don't like it, Tomoyo and I will finish them," Eriol says.
Sakura turns to me, her green eyes open and trusting.
"You don't have to if you don't want to," I tell her.
"What about you?"
"You know I don't like drinking anyway. Besides," I gently tip her chin up. "You're my cocktail."
Flustered, Sakura looks away. I hear a low whistle from across the table and glare at Eriol. though it's my fault for completely forgetting he was there for a second. Tomoyo only smiles next to him, looking utterly happy in her seat, it's a miracle she doesn't have her camera out. I have a pretty good guess of what must be going on inside her mind.
"I-I'm fine. Thank you both, though," Sakura says and pushes the glass towards the other two.
"Suit yourself," Tomoyo says, giving me a knowing smile, tipping the glass in my direction in a small toast.
We fall into pleasant conversation even after our food arrives. Despite how busy we've been, I missed all of us hanging out, with no stress or planning looming over our heads. Just four friends enjoying each other's company.
Before long, a few couples have entered the dance floor, swaying to the music in each other's arms. With one look from Tomoyo, Eriol stands and asks if she would like to dance in the most gentlemanly way possible. Tomoyo readily agrees. They both give me the same it's-your-turn look before excusing themselves from the table.
Nervously, I clear my throat. Standing up as well, I mirror Eriol's pose, slightly bowing, and hand out towards Sakura. "Would you like to dance as well?"
Sakura giggles and takes my hand. "I would love to."
We join the newlyweds on the dance floor. I can feel their eyes on us as we dance. Perhaps they're expecting I propose now? But in front of all these people? No, I'd do it when we're alone, away from prying eyes.
We dance for a couple of songs, switching partners with Eriol and Tomoyo once or twice.
"You haven't asked her yet," Tomoyo said.
My gaze goes to Sakura, who is dancing with Eriol, she averts her gaze back to her dance partner. I grin.
"I don't know if a semi-club is the most romantic place to propose to her."
Tomoyo huffs. "There have been proposals here before."
"I promise, I'll ask her when I find the right timing."
"Very well,"
The song ends and I welcome Sakura back into my arms as we switch partners yet again. It's around this time the guys I saw eyeing Sakura earlier start to approach us, asking if Sakura would like to dance with them instead. I guess they saw how we switched partners before and thought they had a shot. Sakura kindly declines each one. I chuckle as another one backs away, looking dejected.
Sakura looks at me. "What's so funny?"
"You're very popular. There's so many who want your attention."
"It wasn't that many," Sakura says shyly.
I grin as I tuck loose hair behind her ear. "Are you kidding? It's like they're fighting for their lives the way they seek your attention."
"You're being dramatic," Sakura says with a laugh. "Or are you perhaps jealous seeing so many guys come for me?"
"I'm merely amused. I pity them if anything."
A playful smile pulls on her lips. "Oh? How come?"
"Cuz you only think that I'm cute. You only smile that pretty for me."
Cheeks flushed, Sakura wraps her hands around my neck and rests her head on my chest.
"You okay?" I ask.
"Just feeling a little lightheaded."
I tighten my hold on her. "Do you want to go back to the table?"
I feel her shake her head. "I just need some fresh air."
"Alright."
I signal to Eriol and Tomoyo that we'd be going out to the balcony. They give me the okay and I lead Sakura away from the crowd and outside. There aren't many people outside. Being somewhat regulars, the owner lets us use the roof if we'd like; there's a spiral staircase towards the employee entrance that leads to it. It's nicely decorated with ferns and other flora. It's the peak of happy hour so I know we'd be alone up here. I follow Sakura to the edge of the roof's balcony overlooking the bay.
"Do you want something to drink?"
Sakura shakes her head and pulls my sleeve. "Just stay with me for a bit."
I nod and lean against the railing next to her, intertwining her hand in mine and play with her fingers. Sakura leans her head on my shoulder, sighing in relief as a small breeze blows. I don't know how long we stay like that. I try to look ahead, take in the city night's view, but all my heart can see is Sakura. Her dress twinkles with every breath the wind takes, her sweet perfume intoxicate my insides; I want her. Just a small taste of those sweet, plush, rosy lips. I've refrained from kissing her too much since our beach trip—being busy helped with that—but now we are alone and there's a charming glow on her tonight like never before. It's getting harder to resist by the minute.
"I forgot to tell you," Sakura says, her voice pulling me back to reality. "You look very handsome tonight."
"Thank you." I feel my ears grow hot and a stupid grin form. "I don't mind telling you again how beautiful you look."
I look down at her to see she's already looking at me, her jade green eyes gleaming. The panorama is spreading to an extreme level. Her lips are so close. My eyes rise back up to meet hers, her cheeks colored as if she had something to drink.
"Are you feeling better? Your face is red," I manage to say.
Mentioning that did nothing to lessen her flushed cheeks.
"I-it naturally happens whenever I'm with you. Because of the way you look at me"
"How do I look at you?" I muse.
"Like I'm you're whole world."
"You are though," I say with a smile.
Sakura hesitates. Then, "It's been a while, huh? Since we kissed," she says. "I noticed you were staring."
So she caught me red-handed.
"I'd be lying if I said I didn't want a small taste—a sip, really."
Sakura smiles and leans in. That's when I realize, she's been wanting this too. "A sip should be fine, right?"
"Yeah, a sip should be fine," I echo, more to convince myself. I close the gap and press my lips to hers.
Once more, stars burst behind my eyes. One sip, I remind myself but I can't stop. I cup her cheek, deepening the kiss. Without wings, I'm flying. I feel myself get lightheaded but what's in my hand isn't a glass. I move my lips slowly against hers, savoring their taste. Her lips mirror mine; I feel she wants to take it slowly too.
We break apart and take a deep breath. Needing to feel she's still with me, I reach out my hand for her to hold. I feel her stagger and wrap my other hand around her waist, trapping her between myself and the railing.
"Please don't fall off," I say.
"It's your fault," Sakura huffs. "That was more than one sip."
"I can't help it," I grin. "I'm desperate for you more than anyone else."
"Likewise" Sakura smiles and presses her lips to mine in another kiss.
I suck on her bottom lip as if it were coated in honey and she runs her fingers up my neck, sending a shudder throughout my body. Sakura becomes bolder; pulling me closer, deeper into her and I understand there, we've both been wanting this, to share this feeling again since that night on the beach. We pull away to catch our breath once more. Her eyes have become glazed like they did that night.
"How is it you make me fall deeper and deeper for you. When I'm with you, it's like something magical happens," Sakura says. "I keep smiling for no reason, even when there's nothing going on. Suddenly love feels so easy. I love you, Syaoran-kun" She smiles. "You called me your cocktail before. I didn't understand it before, but I think I get it. Though I did not drink at all, I feel like I'm drunk on you."
A whole fireworks show bursts inside me. Placing kisses all over her face, I say, "You can try filling yourself up in my cup, but there's no end."
Sakura giggles her green eyes full of love as she looks up at me. "If it's you, I don't mind getting drunk."
I take her image in, staring fondly at this person who loves me as I love her. It has to be a miracle that we've met and reunited like this.
"I-I love you," I say, my declaration surprising both of us. "I mean, I feel the same. 'Cause you, your charms, I've fallen for them." I peck her lips. "You're my cocktail. But one sip doesn't seem to be enough."
Happy 14th Anniversary, 5HINee!
Chapter updated: May 25, 2022