Summary: Zeref wants to play the role of the villain properly….it's too bad that Natsu doesn't like to share.

Pairings: Brotherly Zeref/Natsu, Natsu/Happy friendship, Happy/Fish, implied Lucy/Happy friendship, implied Natsu/Lucy, implied Zeref/Mavis, and some Mavis/Lucy friendship.

Author's Note: Thank you all for giving me over TEN THOUSAND AND SIX HUNDRED reviews!

When Natsu, Lucy, and Happy finally burst into the guild doors (leaving all of the friends in the bloodshed they were happily making as they fought Zeref's men), Zeref stood over Mavis, who was chained down to a table, with his back to them. He turned, solemnly, and met Natsu's gaze head on without a flicker of remorse.

"I have been expecting you little brother," he said calmly. But before Lucy could react to the whole little brother thing or before Natsu could shout something snarky about how they were not brothers, Damnit! Zeref suddenly held his hand up to silence them. "No wait!" he cried out. "This isn't right. I'm not villain-y enough." Natsu, Lucy, and Happy all silently exchanged concerned looks over Zeref's mental well-being while Mavis just merely sighed long-sufferingly at the table. "Hold on," Zeref said before he dashed up to Master's office. He returned with the spinning desk chair and fumbled about as he made sure it was place just so. He then looked round wildly before his eyes landed on Happy and a gleam that made the blue cat highly uncomfortable entered his eye. He kneeled down so he could look Happy in the eye, "may I borrow you for a moment?" he asked politely.

Happy jerked back, horrified. "No!" he yelped.

"Please," Zeref pleaded. He even pouted ever so slightly in a manner that was almost akin to Natsu at his most childishness. "I just need a cat for added effect."

"Definitely not!" Happy scowled.

"Pretty please," Zeref said in his most persuasive voice, "There's a big plate of fish in it for you," he added tantalisingly.

"Oh all right," Happy relented instantly, "but I reserve the right to bite you if you pet me the wrong way."

"Fair enough."

And with that Happy leapt into Zeref's arms and allowed Zeref to carry him over to the spinning chair.

"HAPPY!" Natsu and Lucy screamed in horrified unison. "WHAT THE HELL?!" Natsu carried on furiously. "HE'S THE BAD GUY!"

"But," Happy whined pathetically, "free fish! A whole big plate of it!"

Natsu spluttered furiously while Lucy face palmed. She should have seen that one coming really.

It was then when Zeref turned his chair round melodramatically as he petted Happy in his arms. "I have been expecting you little bro-"

"GIVE ME BACK MY CAT!"

Natsu suddenly dived forwards and tried to rip Happy out of Zeref's arms but Zeref held on tightly.

"NATSU!" he shouted, completely outraged. "YOU'RE RUINING MY ENTRANCE SEQUENCE!"

"I DON'T CARE!" Natsu bellowed into Zeref's face. "YOU'RE NOT USING MY CAT!"

"HE'S HIS OWN PERSON!" Zeref yelled back as he pulled Happy back to his chest. "I ASKED AND OFFERED MY PAYMENT AND HE ACCEPTED OUT OF HIS OWN FREE WILL!"

"HE'S STILL MY CAT!" Natsu snarled furiously as he viciously tugged Happy away from Zeref's chest and towards his own. Zeref, however, kept a vice like grip on Happy and wouldn't let go. "GIVE HIM BACK TO ME!"

Zeref yanked Happy back towards him. "LEARN TO SHARE!" he snapped furiously.

Natsu dragged Happy back to him. "DRAGONS DON'T SHARE!" he barked indignantly.

"Erm, guys," Happy said meekly, "please stop playing tug of war with me. I'm beginning to feel motion sickness"

Lucy decided to take advantage of Zeref's distracted, flustered, state to slide over to Mavis and release her from her chains. The smaller blonde leaped up and threw her arms round Lucy's neck in gratitude and relieve and the pair hugged oblivious to the two brothers bickering over Happy until –

"GOD STOP BEING SUCH A DORK AND GIVE ME BACK MY CAT!"

"NOT UNTIL YOU STOP BEING SUCH A BRAT!"

"YOU'RE THE ONE BEING A BRAT!"

"AM NOT!"

"ARE TOO!"

"AM NOT!"

"ARE TOO!"

"AM NOT!"

"ARE TOO!"

"AM NOT!"

"ARE TOO!"

"AM NOT!"

"ARE TOO!"

"AM NOT!"

"ARE TOO!"

Mavis and Lucy sweat-dropped heavily as the argument between the two Dragneel brothers became increasingly more childish. "I need a drink," Mavis declared, "and better taste in men!"

"Same here!" Lucy agreed.

And with that they drank through whatever contents was left in the bar as they bemoaned their misfortunate to fall for such immature boys.