Summary: The guild tries to play Spin the Bottle…it doesn't last long.

Pairings: Some implied Natsu/Lucy, Gray/Juvia, Mira/Happy friendship, Sisterly Cana/Romeo, Happy/Charle, implied Romeo/Wendy, Laxus/Thunder God Tribe friendship, one-sided Freed/Laxus, crack mentions of Laxus/Juvia, and lots and lots of other general friendship/family feels.

Author's Note: Thank you all for giving me over TEN THOUSAND AND SEVEN HUNDRED reviews!

It was a quiet, peaceful, night at the guild which immediately meant that everyone was bored senseless. Even brawling was too boring for the likes of the guild as they all lazed over the tables and floor of the guild.

"Luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucy!" Natsu whined. "I'm bored. Play with me."

"I'm busy, Natsu," Lucy said from behind her book which wasn't as gripping as she wished it to be, "go and fight with Gray."

"Gray's boring," Natsu moaned, "he wants to do nothing but sit around in his underwear and drink booze like some deadbeat Dad."

"What was that you little – wait," Gray peered down at his body in alarm, "where did my clothes go?!"

Everyone rolled their eyes. Gray had been ninety per cent naked since breakfast time and despite being told constantly he seemed to keep forgetting to get dressed. It wasn't even funny anymore.

"Well," Mira tapped her chin thoughtfully, "if you're all bored. I have an idea of a fun game."

Everyone perked up at that.

"What game, Mira-nee?" Lisanna asked excitedly.

"One that everyone can join in," Mira said firmly as a steely glint entered her eyes, "so no excuses from the party poopers," at this she shot a pointed look at Gajeel, Lily, and Laxus who were all brooding in the dark corners in the back.

They would have protested but they found themselves quickly wrestled into the limelight as everyone gathered round Mira quickly. They were all so bored that a game of hide and seek or something just as silly sounded exciting.

"Go on then," Cana grinned, "what are we playing."

"Spin," Mira said dramatically as she lifted an empty bottle in the air, "the bottle!"

"Awesome!"

"Oh hell no!"

"Juvia wants to kiss Gray-sama!"

"Oh God!"

"Mira!"

"A chance to kiss Mirajane Strauss? Sign me up!"

"Brilliant idea!"

"Terrible idea!"

"What the hell," Natsu said loudly over everyone's protests or enthusiastic cries, "is spin the bottle?" he asked unimpressed. "It sounds boring!"

"It's not boring!" Mira said indignantly. "We all sit in a big circle-"

"Bo-ring!"

"Then someone spins the bottle!" Mira said loudly as if Natsu had never spoken. "And whoever the bottle lands on that person has to kiss."

"Ew!" Natsu pulled a face. "That sounds disgusting. Who on earth would want to kiss Gray?!"

"Juvia does!"

"Who asked you?!" Gray retorted. "And personally I pity the girl that will have to endure your slobbering."

"What was that?!" Natsu yelled. "Why I oughta-"

"Natsu, Gray," Erza said coldly causing the two boys to freeze up, "are you two fighting?"

"No!"

"Nope!"

"Absolutely not!"

"We're the best of friends, remember?"

Everyone, but Erza who was oblivious, sweat-dropped as Gray and Natsu wrapped an arm round one another and awkwardly smiled as they pretended to be 'the best of friends'.

"Good," Erza nodded in satisfaction, "then you can sit down and behave while we play the game."

Natsu and Gray groaned but obeyed when Erza shot them a threatening glare. Soon enough everyone was sat down, some (like Lucy) looked extremely apprehensive while others (namely Mira and Cana) looked downright gleeful.

"Right!" Mira rubbed her hands together gleefully. "I'll start first!" Macao and Wakaba perked up at that and immediately began to pray the bottle would land on them. Mira leaned across as she placed the empty glass bottle onto the ground and spun it.

It spun round twice. The entire time Macao and Wakaba clutched their hands under their chins eagerly as they chanted 'please let it land on me!' over and over again (much to Romeo's everlasting embarrassment) while everyone else rolled their eyes until finally it halted to a stop pointing directly at Happy.

Macao and Wakaba collapsed.

"Not on the lips!" Harry cried out. "I still have nightmares from the last time someone kissed me there!"

"For the last time!" Natsu said shortly. "That was Lucy's fault!"

"…do we want to know?" Freed murmured warily to Evergreen.

Evergreen merely shrugged in reply and continued to fan herself as she watched on with bored indifference "I won't kiss you on the lips, Happy," Mira promised as she crawled over to Happy and pecked his forehead. "There you go, all over."

"Phew!" Happy wiped fake sweat away from his forehead. "Because I only want my lips to be kissed by Charle and no one else."

"Hmmph!" Charle huffed as she turned her face away to hide a faint pink tinge that had appeared on her face. "In your dreams, Tom Cat."

"All right!" Cana clapped her hands. "My turn!" she chugged down some brandy from the bottle by her side before she reached out and spun the bottle. It went about quarter way through the circle before it landed on Romeo. "Oh come to Mama, gorgeous!" Cana cried out melodramatically before she swooped down on Romeo and covered his face in loud smooches.

"Gerroff me!" Romeo squirmed. "Cana-nee!" he whined. "You're embarrassing me!"

"Ungrateful kid," Wakaba grumbled, "he has no idea how lucky he is."

"That's the tragedy of youth," Macao agreed solemnly. "They never know how good they got it."

"Now," Mira said once Cana finished kissing Romeo (she added an extra, sloppy, one that was more of a raspberry than a kiss which resulted in Romeo giggling and then dying of embarrassment when he caught Wendy's eyes, for good measure), "it's Juvia turn."

"Please let it be Gray-sama," Juvia murmured as she reached out to touch the bottle, "please let it be Gray-sama," she spun the bottle, "please let it be Gray-sama," the bottle spun round, "please let it be Gray-sama," and round, "please let it be Gray-sama," and round, "please let it be Gray-sama," and round, "please let it be Gray-sama," and then it slowly halted to a stop before it landed on….

….Laxus.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Juvia screamed as tears flew out of her eyes like gushing rivers. Everyone around her jumped in the air and clutched their ears as they felt utter agony pierce them. Then they nervously shuffled around as they felt water suddenly seep into their trousers from Juvia's crying. "Juvia doesn't want to kiss Laxus-sama!" Laxus' eye twitched as Juvia spat out his name like it was a rude word or something. "Juvia wants to kiss Gray-sama!"

"Yeah, well your lips are unworthy of Laxus!" Freed scowled in his friend's defence. "Laxus lips are a work of art! They're perfectly carved, excellently talented, and extremely soft. You should consider yourself lucky to be given the blessed chance to kiss such perfection!"

"Laxus' lips are what men's lips should all be like," Evergreen agreed superiorly, "thin, graceful, and strong. You should be on your knees thanking the Gods allowing you this chance to kiss Laxus"

"Yeah!" Bickslow chipped in. "It's not like we're asking you to kiss Natsu."

"OI!"

"…"

"…"

"…"

There was a long awkward silence as everyone stared in stunned disbelieve at the Thunder God Tribe (apart from Natsu whose jaw was twitching furiously at the insult aimed at him). Laxus face palmed and wondered what it would be like to have normal friends that don't wax poetry about your lips and Juvia blinked dumbly.

"Juvia didn't mean to insult Laxus-sama's lips," Juvia said apologetically, "but Juvia's heart belongs to Gray-sama only."

"Hn," Laxus grunted and shrugged at the same time. He leaned over and pecked Juvia's lips chastely before he patted her on the head roughly. "A kiss is a kiss," he said indifferently to Juvia's dazed expression, "it's not a marriage proposal."

"Oh my!" Juvia gasped as she touched her lips. "I see what Freed-san means about Laxus-sama's lips being soft and perfect."

Gray choked at this and Laxus looked mildly concerned as he wondered whether or not this meant Juvia would now stalk him too….this concern however died an immediate death when Juvia gazed adoringly at Gay and all was right in the world.

"My turn!" Erza declared with satisfaction as she snatched the bottle eagerly. "I shall beat everyone at this game."

"Erm," Lucy sweat-dropped, "I'm not entirely sure you can win at spin the bottle."

Erza ignored this as she spun the bottle as hard as she could. The result was everyone sitting there in utter boredom as it spun round for a full five minutes.

Finally, much to everyone's relief, the bottle landed on Natsu.

"No way!" Natsu yelped. "There's no way you're kissing me!" he scrambled backwards, kicking a disgruntled Gajeel and irate Lucy in his attempt to escape the circle.

"Natsu," Erza said in a low, dangerous, voice as a dark aura of fury seeped out from her, "are you telling me that you are not going to obey the rules of the game?"

"Nope!" Natsu shook his head rapidly. "I'm telling you that there's no way in hell that you're kissing me."

Erza's eye twitched at the insult. "Natsu," she said in her deadliest voice, "I am not going to lose this game because you're being a child. Now come over here and let me kiss you."

"Game or no game," Natsu said stubbornly, "I ain't kissing a monster!"

SMASH!

Several people leaped away or clung to one another as they screamed in terror. Erza lost her temper completely and snatched up the bottle before she smashed it into pieces against the stone slabs. She then lunged at Natsu, tackled him to the ground, and straddled him as she held up the broken bottle threateningly.

"NATSU!" she bellowed furiously. "I DEMAND YOU PLAY THIS GAME PROPERLY AND KISS ME!"

"Erza!" Lucy, Lisanna, and Levy all screeched in terror.

"EEK!" Happy squeaked as he clutched his fish close to his chest. "Erza is going to slice Natsu into shreds!"

"Jesus Christ!" Gray cried out. "Natsu just kiss her Damnit! It doesn't mean anything!"

Natsu's face contorted in anger and disgust at that. "NO FUCKING WAY!" he shouted. "THAT'S DISGUSTING!"

"Why you little-"

"What," a cold, authoritative, and downright furious voice echoed above them all, "is going on here?! Can't you shitty brats get through one night without trying to kill one another?! Erza," Master snapped irritably, "get off of Natsu and drop that bottle. What the hell were you lot up to?"

"We were playing spin the bottle," Erza said shamefully, "and I got carried away with it."

Master's eyes bulged out of his sockets at that in horror. "What the hell did you kids think spin the bottle is?!" he yelled.

It was then decided, right there and then, unanimously (as Lisanna and Elfman quickly gagged Mira before she could protest) that spin the bottle was banned from Fairy Tail….

And that Erza should take anger management classes.

(They didn't end well.)