Summary: Re-telling of Shakespeare's Taming of the Shrew. Elfman won't let Lisanna get married until Mirajane is married….and then upon realising how stupid that is, he changes it to neither of his sisters can get married until he does.

Pairings: Implied one-sided Lisanna/OCs, implied one-sided Mirajane/OCs, Strauss Sibling feels, Thunder God Tribe friendship feels, implied Elfman/Evergreen, implied Bickslow/Lisanna, and implied Laxus/Mirajane.

Author's Note: Fanfiction is once again telling me that none of your reviews exist. So thank you very much for everyone who has reviewed the last chapter and I hope you enjoy this one too.

After Lisanna's return from 'the dead' the whole world suddenly realised what a great beauty she actually was.

Aside from her shorter hair and preference for shorts, Lisanna looked exactly like Mirajane. With the same clear, blue, eyes, the same creamy complexion, delicately carved features, and unusual white hair, men began to realise there was a second person they could fantasize about. To make it even better, Lisanna was of a sweeter nature than her sister, and was therefore less likely to gut them for trying to woo her.

Therefore within weeks after the Grand Magical Games and everything finally, somewhat, settling down for the time being, Lisanna quickly found herself drowning in suitors.

They were flinging flowers in her face, serenading her in the streets, offering up chocolates and jewels, and going down on one knee to propose. It was becoming a regular sight for the locals of Magnolia to see the young girl have a dozen or so persistent suitors follow her down the road.

Lisanna, however, was not happy.

She would like to live her life quietly as possible – well, as quietly as a Fairy Tail mage with a thirst for good adventures and a terrible habit for brawls that cause property damage could live – and all the attention was incredibly embarrassing to her.

"My love!" a foppish man cried out dramatically as he flourished a bouquet of roses towards her. "A beautiful flower for an equally beautiful girl. Though I now see that these roses pale in comparison to your beauty, marry me?"

Lisanna sweat-dropped and started to look for an exit. "Erm…"

The foppish man was pushed out of the way and another ridiculous suit took his place. "Don't listen to him. He knows nothing. Your beauty overshadows all for you are the moon itself!" he pulled out a long scroll they started to disappear round the door. "Allow me to read you a poem I have written. It is an ode to your beauty and kindness and virtue."

Lisanna began to edge away. "Ah…" she said politely as possible, "I cannot-"

The poet was knocked away by a guy holding a lute. "Poetry is nothing without music, would you not listen to my musical ode to your lips?"

Enough was enough! Lisanna could not live like this. She had said no a thousand times and no one was listening. Mira was useless as her only advice had been to ignore it, Erza was away on a job with Natsu so neither of them could help, and Lisanna wasn't sure if anyone else could intimidate (or at least incinerate) her annoying suitors apart from….

Her eyes landed on her brother and she lunged at him.

"Elfman-Ni-san!" she cried out desperately as she clung to her big brother. He looked monstrously strong and his powers of turning into beasts had been showcased so brilliantly in the Games that surely no suitor will dare piss Elfman off. "Do something!" she hissed. "Make them leave me alone."

"Of course, Lisanna," Elfman said as he patted her head. "All right! Listen up you pathetic worms!" he barked making everyone in the room jump. "None of you are MANLY enough for my little sister so bugger off!"

Lisanna almost collapsed at that. She had hoped a bit more than just telling them to 'bugger off' like maybe a few punches and transforming into something terrifying so they would definitely not come back.

"You can't tell us to bugger off!" one suitor snapped irritably. "Only she can!"

"Surely," one of her suitors said a little more reasonably, "we could prove our worth and win your sister's fair hand?"

"Absolutely not!" Elfman scowled. "Lisanna is my sweet, innocent, baby sister and I only just got her back. I will not give her hand in marriage to anyone!" at this, Lisanna elbowed her brother hard. She might not want any of these suitors but she did want to get married one day and her brother had no say in the matter. "Ouch!" Elfman yelped. "Okay," he hastily added as he caught Lisanna's glare. "I will allow Lisanna to marry after her older sister marries. After all it would be unnatural and UNMANLY to allow the younger sister to marry before the elder."

Three quarters of Lisanna's new suitors suddenly turned to face Mirajane instead.

"MARRY ME MIRA!"

"How about a double wedding, you and me and my brother and your sister?"

"NO MARRY ME!"

"Goddess, I adore you. You are my one and only, my infatuation with your sister had been temporary."

"BELOVED, YOU ARE FAIR OF FACE AND-"

"Would you do me the honour of-?"

"ME! ME! ME!"

"The flowers are for you!"

"I'VE CHANGED MY MIND!" Elfman bellowed as he quickly realised his mistake. At the rate these men were going Mira and Lisanna would be married before the day was out. "NO ONE CAN MARRY EITHER OF MY SISTERS UNTIL I MARRY. DO YOU KNOW ANY WOMEN THAT WOULD BE ATTRACTED THIS MANLY BEAST?!"

At this Elfman transformed into his reptile form which sent all the men running and screaming from the guild.

Lisanna sighed in relief.

Mira blinked and shrugged, entirely unbothered

(This was, for her, an average Tuesday after all.)

"There you are," Elfman said proudly, "single till the day I wed."

Lisanna quickly blanched as she soon realised what long spinsterhood she had just doomed herself. After all…who would find her brother attractive with his need to shout about manly things? It was so off-putting that no one will get to know his sweeter side and fall for him.

She was never going to be a mother!

At this Lisanna collapsed to her knees and just gave up. Today was too tiring….

Meanwhile in the corner of the guild both Laxus and Bickslow slowly turned their gazed towards Evergreen.

"What?" she snapped irritably. "Why are you looking at me like that?!"

"Well," Bickslow grinned, "go on then."

"Go on what?"

"Go and tame the beast."

Evergreen flushed with embarrassed fury. "Shut the fuck up!" she hissed. "There's nothing going on between us!"

Both Laxus and Bickslow snorted at that which did nothing to improve Evergreen's mood as her eyes narrowed into an angry glare.

"While I have no doubt that Evergreen could tame Elfman, especially as she already has him under her foot," Freed said primly, "I have serious doubts that Elfman could tame the shrew that is our Ever."

All three male members of the Thunder God Tribe soon found themselves nursing heavy concussions as Evergreen solidly proved their point.