Summary: Inspired by the film, Carry on Screaming. Gray and Natsu are forced to share a bed and there's something poking them in the back….
Pairings: Implied crack Natsu/Gray and some implied Team Natsu friendship.
YouTube Prompt: Tribute to the current situation with Natsu and Gray to the song 'The Pretender' by Foo Fighters.
Gray wasn't sure what was worse.
The fact that they had braved through a thunderstorm that was still going on despite being three hours later, or the fact the only shelter they could find was a great, big, drafty mansion straight out of a gothic horror story coupled with the creepiest butler Gray had ever seen in his life, or the fact that he had to share a bed with Natsu.
Actually scratch that, Gray knew what was worse, and it was definitely sharing a bed with Natsu.
It might be thundering outside (with lightening and heavy rain and a howling wind that made it sound like someone was screaming in the basement) but it was also thundering inside with Natsu's obnoxious snores keeping Gray wide awake. To make things worse Natsu kicked and liked to cuddle.
To say that this went down well would be a lie of massive proportions. They had already fought about this three times, and all three fights ended exactly the same way….
Erza threatening to have their guts for garters if they didn't pipe down right now.
It was now well past midnight and Gray still hadn't slept a wink as Natsu happily snored in his ear. And then he felt it…the wiggling.
Something weird and scaly suddenly poked him in the back.
Gray went rigid as his eyes popped open at that.
He and Natsu had fallen asleep back to back (in a weak attempt to prevent themselves from fighting) but that has never stopped Natsu from rolling over and spooning Gray in the past. However, never before in the past had Natsu poked him with that.
"Ew!" Natsu moaned into his pillow. "Gray get your weird icy dick away from me and put some pants on you pervert!"
"Me?!" Gray screeched indignantly. "You're the one pressing your creepy scaly dick against me. What the fuck happened to your pants?"
"What?!" Natsu yelped. "I wouldn't touch you with a ten foot broom let alone my dick! Which is not creepy or scaly!" he added hastily.
"Oh yeah?" Gray retorted. "Well I wouldn't touch you with a twenty foot broom and I'm not touching you now while you're pressed against my back side! Oh for the love of God!" he shouted as Natsu wiggled against him. "Will you stop wiggling it? That's just plain freaky!"
"You're the one wiggling against me!"
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Gray…" a chilly, terrifying, voice whispered from a dark corner of the bedroom. Instantly Gray stiffened in fear. "Natsu…" Natsu squeaked and froze as well. "What have I told you two about fighting in the middle of the night? Lucy and I are trying to sleep."
The pair of them said nothing as they were suddenly keenly aware that during their argument they had both rolled over to scream in each other's face. Their faces were mere centimetres apart, bright red from furious embarrassment, and way too close for each other's liking. Gray could totally smell the smoke and fish on Natsu's breath which was disgusting.
But that wasn't the problem.
The problem was as close as their faces were their bodies weren't that close and there was still something wiggling against them.
And there was someone else in their room.
But that was all right because it was only Erza holding an axe over their head-
"HOLY SHIT!" Gray screamed. "ERZA!"
"DON'T KILL US!" Natsu wailed utterly terrified. "WE'RE NOT ARGUING ANYMORE. WE'RE SLEEPING! LOOK!" and with that he shut his eyes tightly and faked a snore.
Gray rolled his eyes. What an idiot.
"ARGH!"
Gray and Natsu clung to one another screaming as Erza let out a furious battle cry and brought the axe down right at them…
….and cleanly sliced off the head of the poisonous viper that had been in bed with them the entire time.
"Holy shit!" Gray croaked as he stumbled out of bed. "Jesus!" he cried out. "Seriously! What the fuck?!"
"Oh thank God," Natsu sighed in relief. Totally unbothered by the fact there was now a decapitated snake corpse right beside him. "I was so sure that it had been Gray's trouser snake pressing up against me. Glad that turned out not to be the case," he shot a pointed look at Gray, "'cause you're really not my type."
Gray wasn't sure what the worst thing about this night was. The fact that he had been caught in the most cliché horror story like storm while staying in an equally clichéd gothic house, the fact that he had to share a bed with Natsu, the fact that there had been a brief, horrifying, moment where he thought Natsu's lower body parts had taken an interest in him, or the fact that for one absolutely terrifying moment he thought Erza was actually going to murder him, or the fact that a deadly snake had been in his bed, or the fact that Natsu had just referred Gray's dick as a trouser snake.
Either way none of them needed to be topped off with Lucy screaming in the room next door as a Dracula knock-off tried to kidnap her.
But that's what happened nonetheless.