Summary: After witnessing their terrible teamwork in the Grand Magical Games, a therapist invites Natsu and Gajeel to a session.

Pairings: Implied crack Natsu/Gajeel.

Author's Note: Thank you all so much for giving me over ELEVEN THOUSAND AND ONE HUNDRED reviews!

It was incredibly quiet as Natsu and Gajeel sat awkwardly next to one another on the incredibly sofa. Gajeel's bulk dwarfed Natsu as they tried to shift away from one another.

"Why are we here?!" Natsu whined, fed up with the silence. "It's so boring. There's nothing fun to do."

"I don't know," Gajeel grunted. "Now quit yer whinging or I'll shut your mouth for you."

"See," the therapist that sat opposite them spoke up, "this is why I called you in. I greatly admired your magic in the Games but your team work is lacking and I couldn't help but find that extremely worrying." Natsu looked up questioningly at Gajeel who shrugged in reply. Personally they saw nothing wrong with their teamwork. It worked after all. "As a thank you for the many times you have helped our nation I thought a bit of couple therapy would-"

"COUPLES THERAPY?!" both Dragon Slayers roared furiously as they stood up indignantly. "What the fuck?!" Gajeel added disgustedly. "What is it with you therapist types and homosexuality?"

"I'm not dating Gajeel!" Natsu wailed childishly. "He's way too ugly and revolting to even touch let alone kiss. Blergh!" he pulled a face that suggested he was about to be sick.

Gajeel's face contorted angrily. "Shut yer face, Salamander!" he barked. "I'm better boyfriend material than you could ever hope to be."

"Nuh-uh!" Natsu shook his head. "Not with a face like that," he taunted Gajeel, "You make babies cry and little kids have nightmares. No one would ever date you."

"Why you little-"

"A-a-a-ano!" the therapist stuttered nervously as they stepped between Gajeel and Natsu before an actual fight broke out and their office was trashed. "Actually couple's therapy can be applied to many other relationships not just romantic ones. I just thought-"

"WE'RE NOT A COUPLE!"

The therapist whimpered and stepped back in fear. This was the last time they were ever going to offer their services in attempt to do good for the world.

"Why are we still here?" Natsu asked. "This isn't court mandated therapy!"

"Smartest thing you ever said," Gajeel muttered approvingly, "let's get out of here."

And with that the two of them waltzed out of the office without a second look back the therapist slumped onto the sofa and sighed in relief and wondered once again if they had made the right career choice. Most likely not…

"Jeeze," Gajeel grumbled as he and Natsu began to make their way towards the building exit. "I can't believe that stupid arse therapist thought we were a couple."

"I know!" Natsu exclaimed disbelievingly. "I could so do better than you."

"What do you mean you can do better than me?!" Gajeel growled. "I have you know that as a rock star I'm a serious catch."

"Pfft!" Natsu snorted. "Yeah," he said condescendingly. "Okay. If you say so."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Only that you're as talented as a rock star as you are good looking," Natsu said innocently, "you will make a blind and deaf woman very happy one day."

"WHAT WAS THAT?!" Gajeel roared.

"Excuse me!" another therapist said huffily as they stormed out of their office. "But I have a session currently going on here and my patient doesn't need you to air out your differences so loudly when they're trying to make a break through." Natsu and Gajeel shifted guiltily as they exchanged sheepish problems. It was just on the tip of their tongue to apologise but the therapist carried on with their rant to notice. "If you want to resolve your problems like any other couple then you should do so in your appointed time with your therapist not in the corridors!"

The atmosphere instantly turned frosty as Gajeel and Natsu darkened with fury and disgust. "WE'RE NOT A COUPLE!" they both bellowed in unison.

"EEK! The therapist screamed in reply. "DEMONS FROM HELL!"

And with that they dashed back into their office and –

SMASH!

"How?!" Master cried out exasperated when Natsu and Gajeel were eventually escorted home by the Rune Knights. "How in God's name were you able to make a therapist that wasn't even your therapist to jump out of the window?!"

Natsu and Gajeel exchanged glances and both shrugged. "No idea," Gajeel grunted, "we're just that good apparently."

"THERE'S NOTHING GOOD ABOUT INDUCING PEOPLE TO JUMP OUT OF WINDOWS!"