Summary: Fairy Tail plays a game of Chinese Whispers.

Pairings: Happy/Charle, Gray/Juvia, Gray/Lucy (all in Juvia's head), Gray/Erza (also in Juvia's head), Gajeel/Juvia friendship, crack Gajeel/Juvia, crack implied Gajeel/Laxus, and lots and lots of other friendship feels.

YouTube Prompt: Natsu/Lucy tribute to 'I Burn' by Jeff Williams, Casey Lee Williams, and Lamar Hall.

The entire guild was crouched behind a conveniently long line of rocks and boulders as they spied on the enemy. Erza, leading this particular mission, belatedly realised that she couldn't relay her plans of attack loud enough for everyone to hear without the enemy overhearing them, sighed heavily.

"Right," she whispered into Wendy's ear, "I need Natsu, Gray, and Gajeel to launch a full frontal attack, Happy and Lily can lend back-up, while Lucy, Juvia, and Levy take the right, and the Strauss siblings take the left, I need you to hold the fort. With the distraction Laxus, the Tribe, and I can sneak in and take out their power source which can leave Cana to make the final assault. Pass it on."

Wendy nodded sweetly and turned to whisper in Charle's ear repeating the words exactly with the occasionally 'ano…'' thrown in as she did her best to remember it from word to word. Charle nodded in reply and turned to face a love-struck Happy that was staring at her in a dazed manner.

"Don't look at me like that!" she hissed.

"But you're so beautiful Charle!" Happy protested. "I could stare at you all day."

"Well don't!" Charle flushed. "We have a job to do, listen to me carefully…." And then she repeated what Wendy said word to word. "Pass it on."

"Aye Sir!" Happy chirped. "Ne, ne, Natsu," he whispered excitedly into Natsu's ear, "Erza says that she needs you, Gray, and Gajeel to launch a full front attack, with me and Lily lending back-up, Lucy, Juvia, and Levy take the right, and the sausage siblings take the left. She needs you to all hold forks with distractions on them while Laxus powers up and Cana can make the final assault. Pass it on."

"All right," Natsu said bewilderedly, "Psst!" he whispered. "Lucy! Erza says something about a full frontal attack with you, Juvia, and Levy taking right, and some sausages taking the left, she needs distracting forks powered by Laxus so Cana can make the final assault," Lucy stated at him with wide eyes, "go on," he nudged her, "pass it on."

"Erm….right," Lucy murmured, "hey Gray. Erza says she wants a full front attack with me, Juvia, and Levy taking the right, and some sausages wielding distracting forks powered by Laxus take the left. Cana is to make the final assault."

Gray's jaw dropped open. "What the fuck?!" he hissed.

"I don't know!" Lucy hissed back. "That's what Natsu told me to tell you!"

"Yeah, well Natsu is a fricking idiot!" Gray whispered hardly. "There's no way in hell Erza said anything about lightening powered sausages that can wield distracting forks what the fuck is a distracting fork anyway?!"

"I don't know!" Lucy snarled quietly. "I'm just the messenger, don't shoot me."

"Love Rival!" Juvia growled softly in Gray's ear. "Why are you trying to whisper sweet nothings in Gray-sama's ear?!"

"I am not!" Lucy whispered-screamed.

"Juvia doesn't believe you!"

"Juvia," Gray sighed tiredly, "Lucy was just passing a message on from Erza."

"Erza-san is now a Love Rival?!"

"Fuck no!" Gray squeaked, horrified at the thought. "Erza just wants a full frontal attack on the enemy with you, Lucy, and Levy taking the right, and then something about a fucking sausage."

"Oh my!" Juvia swooned. "It's far too soon in the relationship to be discussing Gray-sama's sausage!"

"What the-"

"Is the frostbite bothering you, Rain Woman?" Gajeel grunted in Juvia's ear.

"Juvia wishes!" Juvia whispered back excitedly. "Gray-sama is so beautiful and he wants to do something with Juvia involving a sausage."

Gajeel choked at that.

"Hey," Lisanna murmured to Lily, "what's going on, has Erza sent a message?"

"I don't know," Lily replied, "let me check," he leaned in close to the traumatised Gajeel and poked him lightly. "Gajeel, has Erza sent a message?"

"Yeah," Gajeel grunted, "I think. Something about the creepy Ice Dick boning Juvia with a sausage."

"….What?"

"I don't want to think about it!"

"So?" Lisanna whispered urgently in Lily's ear. "What is it?"

"It's not a message from Erza," Lily reassured her, "just something about Juvia, a sausage, and someone wanting to bone her."

"Who wants to bone Juvia?!" Mira whispered excitedly, blatantly eavesdropping in Lisanna's and Lily's conversation. "Is it Gray?!"

"No," Lisanna replied, "I think its Gajeel. And he wants to do it with a sausage."

"Nee-San," Elfman whispered, "what's going on?!"

"Gajeel wants to bone Juvia! With his sausage!"

"How unmanly!" Elfman said disdainfully. "He must take her out for dinner first!"

"What's going on?" Evergreen whispered curiously.

"Gajeel wants to bone someone with his sausage!"

"That's how someone is supposed to bone someone," Evergreen snorted. "Tell me something I don't know."

There is a flurry of hasty whispers from Gray and Juvia's end that hurriedly passed along to the others. "Juvia says to remember it needs to be powered up by Laxus," Lisanna whispered to Elfman and Evergreen.

They stared at her with their jaws wide open.

"What was that about Laxus?" Bickslow asked curiously.

"Gajeel apparently wants him to power up Gajeel's sausage," Evergreen said numbly.

Bickslow choked on his laughter while his babies giggled naughtily. "Psst! Freed!" Bickslow snickered. "Get this, Gajeel wants Laxus to power up his sausage."

Laxus heard this and, in a hot-headed moment, he forgot that they were all supposed to be hiding from the enemy, as he stood up abruptly. "GAJEEL WANTS ME TO DO WHAT TO HIS SAUSAGE?!"

Erza face-palmed as the enemy spotted them and immediately started firing at them. "Forget Plan A!" she barked out as she called out several swords. "Go with the usual standby!"

"You mean charge in with no plan whatsoever?" Lucy asked dryly.

"Good old Plan B," Erza confirmed.

"That's a plan?!"

Lucy was never answered as Fairy Tail was once again thrown into another battle. It would be hours until they finally sit down and question Gajeel about the sausage thing…they never did get a straight answer.