Summary: Inspired by an episode of Friends. When Gajeel, Natsu, and Gray go out on a job together they're all surprised when Natsu swoops into save Gajeel over Gray….or did he?

Pairings: Gajeel/Natsu/Gray friendship, Natsu/Food, implied Gray/Juvia, implied Gajeel/Levy, and implied Natsu/Lucy if you squint.

Author's Note: Thank you all for giving me over ELEVEN THOUSAND AND TWO HUNDRED reviews!

When Gajeel, Natsu and Gray were specifically requested for a job there was a lot of grumbling and moaning before they were forced out of the door by Master. After all Gray didn't want to travel with two motion sick Dragon Slayers or spend more time than necessary with Natsu, Natsu didn't want to spend time with Gajeel and Gray when he could be invading Lucy's apartment, and Gajeel didn't want to spend time with someone who kept losing his shirt every five seconds.

But then Master threatened to tell Erza so they had no choice but to look eager and play nice to one another which was getting harder and harder the longer this stake out of a magical gang went on.

"Salamander," Gajeel growled out, "we're out on a stake out for a dangerous magical gang. Not a fucking picnic. Put. Your. Sandwich. Away."

"But it's the best sandwich in all of Fiore!" Natsu whined. "No one else does a marinara sauce this good. And the meatballs!" he moaned in delight and his eyes rolled back into his head. "God, the meatballs!"

"I don't care!" Gajeel barked. "Put the damn thing away. We might need to attack any second and we can't have you lagging behind because you're too busy stuffing your face."

"Yes, Natsu," Gray agreed, "try to be a little professional. This is a stake out not a picnic."

"We're sitting on a park bench," Natsu pointed out, "it would look perfectly natural and normal if I was eating a sandwich. No one would look at us and therefore we'd have the perfect cover."

"Just put the freaking sandwich down!"

"Fine!" Natsu huffed as he placed it down on the park bench between him and Gajeel. "But only because you two are blatantly jealous that I have one and you don't."

"If that's what helps you sleep at ni-"

BANG!

It all happened it so quickly and yet for Gray it was like everything had been slowed down to a ridiculous pace. A gun went off and Natsu turned his back to Gray and immediately dived to protect Gajeel from the oncoming bullet.

Gajeel.

Not Gray.

Gajeel, who could turn into steel and make the bullets bounce off of him, had Natsu shielding his body with his own while Gray, who lost his pants again, was left completely vulnerable to whatever attack.

Despite the fact that Gray and Natsu have known each other forever and were, though neither would admit out loud, best friends. Despite the fact that Natsu only knew Gajeel for a couple years and their introduction had been Gajeel trying to beat the crap out of Natsu.

Natsu's instinct had been to protect Gajeel not Gray.

And that was really hurtful.

"Salamander," Gajeel said in a touched voice, "you saved my life."

"Erm, yeah," Natsu said awkwardly, "I suppose I did."

"Erm," Gray scowled as Natsu and Gajeel stared awkwardly at one another while Natsu still half straddled Gajeel. "Hello!" he cried out pointedly.

Natsu blinked dumbly. "Hello," he replied stupidly.

It would later turn out that it wasn't a gun but a magical vehicle backfiring on the street behind them but it didn't change the fact that when they thought they were going to be shot at, Natsu chose Gajeel to protect and not Gray.

Gray spent rest of the job sulking.

FTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT

Natsu was bewildered.

He didn't get why Gajeel was singing his praises and bragging about him saving his life and he didn't get why Gray was being such a sulky bitch. Seriously they went out on a job together, it went well despite them thinking they had been shot at when the gangsters weren't anywhere near them, and then suddenly Gajeel and Gray were acting like complete weirdos.

He missed Lucy. At least her being a complete weirdo was normal.

"Mira!" Gajeel boomed cheerfully. "Fetch Salamander a pint of your finest ale. He's a fucking hero!"

"Oh?" Mira tilted her head curiously. "What did Natsu do?"

"Saved my life!" Gajeel exclaimed. "We were being shot at-"

"WHAT?!" Levy, Lucy, and Juvia all screeched in unison. They all had matching looks of worry and concern etched into their faces and Natsu would have normally thought it hilarious that they all looked the same but he was too busy fighting the urge to punch Gray who was glowering at him again. "Why?!" Levy added fearfully. "What did you three do?!"

"Gray-sama was shot at?!" Juvia wailed. "Juvia will hunt down the cowards that tried to harm her Gray-sama!"

"We weren't really being shot at," Gray said frostily, "it was a magical vehicle's exhaust backfiring."

Levy and Lucy sighed in relief but Juvia didn't look all too convinced as she began to search Gray for bullet wounds.

(Though if you ask Natsu she was just looking for an excuse to sexually harass Gray some more.)

"Yeah," Gajeel grunted impatiently, "so anyway we thought we were being shot at and what does Salamander do? He dives in front of me to take a bullet for me."

"Wow," Levy murmured as she kept her eyes on Gajeel, sturdily examining him for any wounds, "that's very heroic of you, Natsu."

"Very brave," Lucy agreed.

And Natsu couldn't help but preen a little at her praise. He liked it more when Lucy was admiring him than he did from anyone else.

"Oh yeah," Gray spat out bitterly, "very heroic."

"All right!" Natsu snapped. "You've been acting like a princess with her panties in a twist all day. What the fuck is your problem, Ice Cone?"

"My problem? My problem?!" Gray sneered. "My problem is that we've been friends for years. We had each other's backs from the very beginning. And yeah, you annoy the hell out of me, but I thought we were family. We've been to hell and back many times together. We shared the horrors of Erza together. I thought I meant more to you than freaking Gajeel who you've only know for a couple years and once tried to kill all of us. I mean come on, why the hell did you pick that ugly mug over me?!"

"Jeeze, thanks," Gajeel muttered sarcastically, "and I never tried to kill you. That was never my intention. I was an arsehole not a murderer."

"I see…" Natsu smiled sheepishly, "would it help if I admit that I didn't intend to rescue Gajeel?"

"WHAT?!"

"Oh is that the way it is, Salamander?" Gajeel said crossly. "Well in that case, Mira just get him a water in a dirty glass and spit in it while you're at it too."

"What do you mean that you didn't intend to rescue Gajeel?" Gray asked suspiciously.

"I didn't jump to save Gajeel," Natsu confessed, "I jumped that way because….well…my sandwich was sitting right beside him."

Everyone stared at him in disbelieve apart from Gajeel who was too busy spluttering indignantly.

"….Your sandwich?" Gray repeated dumbly.

"It's the best sandwich in all of Fiore!" Natsu defended himself.

"Let me get this straight," Gray pinched his nose in an attempt to fight off an oncoming headache, "We all thought we were being shot at and you decided to dive in front of a bullet…..for a sandwich?!"

"Best. Sandwich. In. All. Of. Fiore."

Natsu said each word slowly and in separate sentences in hopes to get his point across to Gray. After all….who wouldn't take a bullet for a sandwich like that? No one seemed to get ti though as Gray, Juvia, Levy, Lucy, and Gajeel all looked very constipated all of a sudden.

"….you're a fucking idiot."