Summary: Sting and Rogue tried to point out why exactly Fairy Tail shouldn't hold a family reunion…
Pairings: General family and friendship feels.
YouTube Prompt: Fairy Tail tribute to 'Here We Go Again….'87' by Whitesnake.
It was both a delightful surprise and a horrible, sinking, dread to see Team Natsu from Fairy Tail in the Sabertooth guild building. After all, the guild adored their friends but simultaneously they would quite like to keep their building intact and not have complaints from their fellow citizens about the noise and destruction.
So after a huge gulp, Sting and Rogue took one for the team to see why exactly Fairy Tail had come knocking on their door this time.
"Hi guys!" Sting hollered cheerfully. "How can we help you? Have another dark guild that needs squashing?"
"No, no," Lucy shook her head with a bright smile, "nothing like that," she reassured them. "Thank God."
"Though we could certainly use another war with a dark guild," Erza mused unaware of the sweat-drops that appeared on Lucy's and Wendy's heads. "I feel my skills getting rusty."
"And I'm bored out of my mind," Gray complained, "I could use the entertainment."
Now Rogue and Sting joined in the sweat-dropping, how was a war entertainment?! They almost died like five times each in the last one! No one wants to repeat that anytime soon.
"Yeah," Natsu agreed cheerfully, "I miss the bad guys scream."
"You guys would," Lucy muttered darkly before she turned her smile back to Sting and Rogue. "We've actually come to invite you to an event we're holding," she informed them cheerfully.
Rogue and Sting exchanged worried glances with Fairy Tail that could vary from a BBQ that would inevitably end in a brawl to an all-out quest to stop the next ultimate evil….which would inevitably end in a brawl.
(At least they were consistent.)
"Oh yeah," Sting said warily, "what sort of event?"
"We're holding a family reunion!"
"NO!" Rogue and Sting screamed in unison. "YOU CAN'T!"
The Fairy Tail members all blinked in stunned unison as they all took a step back from the Twin Dragon Slayers.
"Well," Charle sniffed haughtily, "that was rude."
"Yeah," Gray agreed as he crossed his arms over his naked chest. "And here we're all are inviting you because you're family." He then jerked at thumb in Natsu's direction. "To this bozo."
Natsu turned red with rage as he whipped round to face Gray. "What do you mean by that?!" he spat out crossly.
"That you're a moron!"
"Look," Rogue stepped in coolly before Natsu and Gray had one of their fights and left scorch marks on the floor again. And break another window. And inevitably upset one of their neighbours. "it's nice that you consider us family, and we're flattered," he added as nicely as possible, "but do you guys even remember what happened the last time Fairy Tail had a family reunion?!"
The Fairy Tail members all blinked dumbly again as they exchanged nervous glances at one another.
"Erm…no?" Lucy said hesitatingly. "Because we never had one before."
"You mean you don't remember what happened when Natsu was reunited with his brother and nephew and Erza was reunited with her mother?!" Sting cried out incredulously.
"That wasn't a family reunion!" Natsu protested. "That was a war!"
"Exactly!"
The Fairy Tail members stared at them blankly.
Rogue sighed heavily. He had a feeling this was going to be a long afternoon. "All right," he said softly, "let's try this, do you remember what happened when we all finally got reunited with our parent dragons and Gray was reunited with his father?"
"That wasn't a family reunion either!" Gray argued. "That was a guild war with demons that destroyed half of Magnolia and mentally scarred everyone for life."
"Exactly!" Sting burst out. "And we've all heard what happened when Gray was reunited with his adopted sister and Cana with her father."
"….what happened?" Natsu scratched his head.
"The island blew up," Lucy rolled her eyes as she reminded Natsu of their shared past, "and we're were trapped in a time lock for seven years."
"Oh yeah!" Natsu cried out. "I remember that! Good times!"
"And we heard rumours of a parallel world being destroyed," Sting carried on, "when Happy was reunited with his parents and the Strauss siblings were reunited."
"I was reunited with my parents?!" Happy yelped as his eyes bulged out of his sockets. "When was this?!"
"Happy!" Charle snapped exasperatedly. "Who did you think that nice blue Exceed farmer lady and her shout-y husband were?!"
"Oh my God I have parents!"
"That wasn't a family reunion either!" Erza retorted. "We were all kidnapped by an evil King."
"And we didn't destroy it either!" Natsu added, "It was already falling apart before we got there," he stuck his tongue out childishly, "so there!"
"Uh-huh," Rogue murmured unimpressed, "well how about what happened when Lucy was reunited with her father?"
"That wasn't a family reunion either!" Lucy said irritably. "That was a guild wa….Oh my God!" she cried out as realisation flickered over her face. "We can't have a family reunion because it always ends up in war!" Rogue and Sting nodded safely in agreement privately pleased that at least one member was smart enough to catch on what they were trying to say. "We keep having family feuds!" Lucy wailed, horrified.
"Shit!" Gray cursed. "You're right!"
"And when I think about it when it's just a reunion with us, the guild, we always end up fighting too." Erza's eyes widened in horror. "Laxus almost blew up Magnolia in his attempt to grab power. You know what this means?"
"That Laxus was a dick?" Natsu suggested dryly.
"No!" Erza slapped the back of Natsu's head causing the pink haired boy to squeal like a girl. "That means that we've never stopped being dysfunctional! We can't have a family reunion because we're so dysfunctional that you can expect a global war!"
The realisation hit Fairy Tail like a ton of bricks and Sting and Rogue were left gawking like a pair of morons as the entire group crumpled into a depressed heap in a corner leaking out gloom, doom, and despair as they moped over the fact they were dysfunctional.
It put a real dampener on Sabertooth's afternoon.