I'd like to thank Balthazar23, Antar23, werewolfXZ, damadape, TheNarratingMan, WraithNX01, Vahktang, flixus, Lynix, TripsToTheRescue, fredfred and InquisitorCOC for betareading.

Chapter 32: The Return

Unknown Island, July 18th, 1996

Leaning against the railing of Abdul's ship, watching the captured pirates being loaded into the hold, Sirius Black didn't know whether he should be proud of his godson or angry at him. Or both. Harry - with Miss Granger's help - had fought and killed a man-eating dragon. Well, a wyvern, but it was close enough. And then he had fought a band of pirates, sunk their ship and freed their prisoner. And he had outflown them on a broom and escaped with a stolen boat.

It was like a tale out of one of those muggle adventure books Lily had introduced him to at Hogwarts, just with magic.

But it was real. Harry wasn't lying. He wasn't even exaggerating what he had done - Sirius could tell. In fact, he was sure that his godson was downplaying their adventures, and Miss Granger was doing the same - mostly. The girl had certainly not held back when pointing out how Harry had gotten hurt, but she hadn't really seemed to brag or boast either. In their place, Sirius would've been telling everyone what he had done. Then again, he wouldn't have cared what his parents had thought, unlike Harry or Miss Granger. They were far too quiet.

He glanced at the two of them. After wolfing down a couple of sandwiches each, they were standing close together near the ship's bow, wands in hand, and staring at the prisoners. No, at everyone, Sirius noticed. He shook his head. They were almost as bad as Moody. Then again, they had gone through a lot, and just a few hours ago, they had still been fighting for their lives. And despite Abdul's claims, the crew of his ship were far too close to pirates to relax in their presence, even with Dumbledore aboard. Once they were back in Britain, Harry and Miss Granger would be able to calm down.

Although… Sirius narrowed his eyes. They were standing very close together. Covering each other like… like Sirius and James had used to, during the war. Oh. Merlin's balls! Sirius grimaced. He should've realised this sooner! This wasn't an adventure - this had been like the war for the two. And at their age…

He sighed and looked for James and Lily. James was with Dumbledore talking to Abdul. Probably about the prisoners. Sirius didn't care about that or them. And Lily… was with Fleur and the little Veela.

He pushed off the railing and walked towards his godson. "Hey!" He grinned at them, despite the fact that both turned to face him, and he saw their wands twitch. At least they didn't point them at him. "We'll be back in Britain in no time!" he told them.

"Are we taking a Portkey?" Miss Granger asked.

Sirius blinked. "Ah… I don't know. Those are regulated."

"I know," the witch told him. "But with Mr Potter, the Head Auror, and the Headmaster here…"

Sirius chuckled. "Ah, they're not here in an official capacity. That's actually why we're probably not taking a Portkey. That way, the Ministry can claim to have neither known nor sanctioned this little expedition."

"Why wouldn't they do that?" Harry asked with a frown.

"Politics. Of course, now that you've been rescued and the pirates captured without an international incident, they might change their opinion," Sirius replied with a shrug.

"I can't believe you would've come here without emergency Portkeys," Miss Granger said. Harry nodded in agreement.

"Well, it's not an emergency, is it?" Sirius smiled before growing serious. "Unless it is," he added, looking at them.

"What? No, we're fine," Harry replied at once. "Just fine."

Miss Granger nodded.

But both of them kept looking at the pirates and the crew.

"Does that mean we'll be sailing to Britain?" Harry asked after a moment.

"I think we'll get off at Gibraltar and use the Floo from there," Sirius said.

"They have a connection to the Ministry?" Harry blurted out. "But that's…" He wrinkled his nose. "...a thousand miles! Almost double the distance from Scotland to Cornwall!"

"Entirely possible," Sirius told them. "Though it's not part of the regular network."

"Ah."

"Good," Miss Granger said. "How long will we take to reach Gibraltar?"

"Five to six hours," Sirius told them. "Apparently, it depends on the wind." He shrugged - he wasn't a sailor.

Fortunately, the two kids accepted that.

"So, if you want to sleep, go ahead! Trust me - sailing is rather boring if you don't need to help out the crew." He grinned at them.

Harry and Miss Granger exchanged a glance, then nodded. "You first," Harry said.

"You were hurt."

"I was healed. I'll wake you up after three hours."

Sirius blinked. What were they talking about? They couldn't mean to… "Harry!" He shook his head. "You both can sleep. You're safe."

"Oh." Once more, Harry glanced at Miss Granger. "I guess so."

The girl nodded, though Sirius caught her blushing a little. "We're not used to…" She shrugged.

OK, they were as bad as Moody. Sirius refrained from wincing. That would only make them worry.

"So, where do we sleep?" Harry asked.

"Oh, just…" Sirius trailed off when he realised that Harry hadn't asked him - he had asked Miss Granger.

"Beneath the boat there?" she replied, pointing at the longboat fastened to the deck nearby.

Harry peered at it, then nodded. "Alright. You still got the mattresses?"

"Yes."

Before Sirius could comment, the two trotted off and ducked under the boat. With their wands drawn.

He probably should talk to James and Lily about this.

Then he frowned. Mattresses? The raggedy things they had fashioned out of their robes? He opened his mouth to tell them that there were perfectly fine actual beds to be had but reconsidered. Those beds didn't fit under the boat, and Sirius had a feeling that the two teenagers valued the cover it provided over the comfort of a real mattress.

He snorted - that, at least, was something they had in common with other teenagers, although not for the same reasons. Another young wizard and witch would want privacy for some snogging, not to hide from pirates.

He blinked, his faint smile fading. Could it be possible that….? He frowned again as he considered it. They were very close for two students who had been at each other's throats for five years. Very close indeed - it was obvious that they trusted each other over anyone else. Even over Harry's godfather! And they had been alone for two weeks on a desert island.

On the other hand, they had been fighting a wyvern and pirates. And they had dealt with diarrhoea. Not exactly the most romantic time. He winced at the memory of a date that had gone very badly when Snape had spiked his drink at Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop. He paid the bastard back, of course, but Mildred had never smiled at him again after that unfortunate accident.

And yet… the two were very close. Obviously, they had overcome their rivalry. He frowned again. Normally, Padfoot's nose would tell him all he needed to know, but this wasn't a normal situation. Both of them had spent two weeks together, and a few hours in the sea. Any hint of certain activities would've been literally swept away by the water.

Well, finding out whether or not Harry had fallen for the girl he had spent years fighting could wait. Informing James and Lily about the two teenagers' Moody-like habits was more important. Sirius could tease his godson once everything was back to normal.

He walked over to the bridge part of the ship. "James! Lily!"

"Sirius?" James turned to look at him.

"Where's Harry?" Lily asked, looking around.

"That's what I need to talk to you about," Sirius started to say. When Lily drew her wand, still looking for Harry, he quickly added: "They're asleep under the boat there."

"What?" James stared at him, then at the boat. "Why would they…?"

"They feel safer there," Sirius explained.

Lily gasped. "Oh, no! They're traumatised!"

"What?" James repeated himself. "You mean…" He blinked, frowning. "Like Moody?"

"Not that bad," Sirius told him with a shake of his head. "But they're… well, Moody would be pleased about their habits."

"Oh, no!" James closed his eyes and sighed. "They need help."

"Therapy," Lily said. "They can't return to Hogwarts if they are ready to curse people at the drop of a hat."

"What? No!" Sirius shook his head. "They haven't even killed any of the pirates, so the other students should be safe. Mostly." Malfoy might be too stupid to be safe, but Sirius wouldn't shed a tear for that bigot. "Besides, Dumbledore is aware of that." The Headmaster couldn't have missed this, after all.

"Dumbledore didn't think there was anything wrong about their feud before," Lily objected with a frown.

"And there wasn't!" Sirius grinned. "Harry's a chip off the old block!" And if he actually had fallen for Miss Granger, then that would be even more true!

But James, instead of agreeing with Sirius, grimaced. "Still, we need to talk about this. If they don't even feel safe with us..."

"We're on a pirate ship," Sirius pointed out. "They don't watch you - they watch the crew."

"And they've been alone, only able to depend on each other, for two weeks," Lily added, though she sounded as if she was trying to convince herself. "Of course they would have trouble adjusting quickly to being safe."

Sirius shrugged. "They'll come around once we're back. I just wanted to let you know that they're a little twitchy." Honestly, keeping Harry from Hogwarts? Perish the thought! The other students would just have to learn not to annoy him or Miss Granger. Though, as far as Sirius knew, most of the students already had learned that. With the notable exception of Narcissa's stupid get, but even little Draco had stopped getting hexed every week, at least according to James.

Not to mention that if Harry and Miss Granger were a couple, they wouldn't be able to keep Harry away from Hogwarts - not if Miss Granger was there. And while Sirius wasn't overly familiar with the witch, he knew enough from Harry's stories to be sure that nothing and no one would keep her from going to school. Certainly not her muggle parents.

Lily was still eyeing the boat and biting her lower lip.

"They didn't kill anyone," James said. "But they fought. Several times. I know rookie Aurors who have trouble with their first fight."

"That's my godson," Sirius said. "Your son. He'll be fine."

He caught James and Lily glancing at each other. Apparently, they weren't as optimistic as he was. Well, they'd see.

Atlantic Ocean, July 18th, 1996

Hermione Granger sighed as she woke up, suppressing a yawn. She had… She blinked, then gasped, grabbing her wand and pulling away from Harry. What the…? Oh. She remembered. They had been rescued.

"What?" Harry hissed as he looked around, wand already pointing at… the boat above them. "Oh."

She nodded in the dim light beneath the upside-down boat. "I think we were more exhausted than we thought," she said in a low voice.

"Yes," he agreed. He was still tense - she could feel his muscles where he was pressing against her thigh.

Then again, she wasn't exactly relaxed, either. They were on a pirate ship. Sure, they were in the company of the Potters, their friends and Dumbledore, but… That only made it unlikely, not impossible, that anything bad could happen. You'd have to be mad to attack Dumbledore, but not everyone was rational. And pirates certainly weren't very rational, given their dangerous and despicable 'business', especially with the punishments they were now facing. But that was a problem. What if the ship's crew had relatives amongst the captives? Or were bribed to let them escape, or worse? Or…

She shook her head. Those were silly thoughts.

"Looks safe," Harry whispered.

She nodded again, then bent down to peer through the gap between the boat's railing and the deck. "No one's near," she said. No one she could see, at least, but then again, Harry would be aware of that limitation.

"Good." Harry took a deep breath. "We're safe."

"Yes." She almost believed it.

He was looking at her with a weird expression, she noticed. Was something wrong? Was he… was he having second thoughts about… what they had done on the island? She bit her lower lip. Those were silly thoughts, she told herself.

"So, uh…" He licked lips. He was nervous.

"Yes?" She cocked her head.

He took a deep breath. She saw his chest heave. Saw his muscles move. He didn't say anything, but - did he really think that she would break...?

She was leaning over before she realised what she was doing, wrapping her free arm around his neck, and pulled him in. Then she hesitated. What if he didn't want to kiss her? Didn't want her, now that they were rescued?

But his lips were already on hers, and she closed her eyes, enjoying the kiss.

She was breathing heavily when she pulled back, licking her lips. "So…" She wanted to kiss him again. Hold him. Caress him. And… But they were on a ship. With so many people nearby. His parents amongst them. This wasn't the place for that.

He nodded as if he had read her thoughts and sighed. "Let's go check where we are."

"Yes."

A quick Levitation Charm lifted the boat up, enough so they could duck under the upside-down railing instead of having to crawl. The sun was setting outside. Two sailors were looking at them, one of them joking with the other. She couldn't understand the language, but the way they acted and laughed left no doubt. And they were laughing at Harry and her.

She narrowed her eyes at them, wand twitching at her side, then took a deep breath. They didn't matter. They were just the ship's crew, and Harry and she would be off the ship soon enough. And if they tried anything other than laughing, they'd regret it.

"Harry!"

She turned and saw Mrs Potter walking towards them.

"Mum." She saw that Harry was relaxing - a little; he still had his wand out.

"Miss Granger."

"Mrs Potter." Hermione nodded at her.

"You were really tired," Mrs Potter said. "You've slept through almost the whole trip."

"Sirius said it was boring anyway," Harry replied.

"Unless we were following the coastline," Hermione added, "there wouldn't have been anything we hadn't seen plenty of times while we were on the island."

"Ah." Mrs Potter seemed to wince in response. "Well, if you're hungry, we've got dinner ready."

"Did you cook it, Mum?" Harry asked.

Hermione nodded. She was hungry - and so thoroughly sick of coconuts, she would pay a fortune for a decently cooked meal with anything but coconuts - but to eat something the crew prepared? While she would like to try out the local food, tampering with a meal was an obvious way to strike at them.

"What? No." Mrs Potter laughed. "I don't think the ship's cook would've let me take over their kitchen. But it's good - we ate already; we weren't sure you'd wake up before we reached Gibraltar."

"Oh." Harry pressed his lips together; Hermione met his eyes when he turned towards her.

She frowned. If everyone amongst the rescue force had eaten already, they were the only ones who might not have been affected if there was anything in the food. And the local food might be a little much for their digestive systems, anyway, after their coconut diet. "Could we have some more sandwiches, instead?" she asked. "I think we should stick to something simple." She rubbed her stomach for emphasis. "I'm not certain that we're up to spicy food yet."

"Oh, I should've thought of that!" Mrs Potter blurted out. "I'll go make some right away."

Hermione hoped she'd use their own stocks. "That should be safe," she whispered.

Harry nodded. "Yes. I doubt there's any wizard alive who would risk angering Dumbeldore."

"Yes." Hermione nodded. Only a fool would dare face the wizard who had vanquished both Grindelwald and Voldemort. She knew that. Everyone knew it.

But she couldn't help feeling nervous on board this ship.

Wizarding Gibraltar, July 18th, 1996

Harry Potter frowned as he looked at the harbour that had suddenly appeared as soon as the ship had crossed a certain line - a wardline. The port looked impressive, if a little empty, but the way it was kept hidden… That felt too much like the pirate island they had left.

"What's wrong, Harry?" Sirius asked.

"Nothing," Harry quickly replied with a shrug.

Hermione narrowed her eyes at him but didn't say anything.

Sirius wasn't as discreet. He snorted. "Really? You just frowned at the last step before we return home for no reason?"

Harry sighed. Sometimes, his godfather was too perceptive - and unwilling to act as if he hadn't noticed anything amiss. "Couldn't they have hidden the harbour like Diagon Alley and the Leaky Cauldron? So only muggles didn't notice it?"

"Ah!" Sirius nodded. "They could've. But the protections were laid down shortly after we conquered it, some three hundred years ago or so. So, it had to be hidden from Spanish wizards and witches, too."

"1703, actually," Hermione cut in. Of course she'd know that! "Wizarding Britain conquered it before the muggles did, which was a first of the time, so shortly after the Statute of Secrecy."

"But wouldn't the Spanish wizards have known where it was?" Harry asked. "It was theirs before, right?"

"Yes, but this way, they can't see what's going on in the harbour," Sirius replied.

Harry felt like an idiot. He should've thought of that! Although… "A spy could easily tell them," he pointed out.

"And probably did," Sirius agreed. "But it still meant they had certain advantages when the Spaniards actually attacked."

"Ah."

"But that's ancient history," Sirius waved his hand. "With ships no longer important, Gibraltar's just the last stop before we're home!"

"Yes," Harry said. He glanced at Hermione.

She nodded in agreement, but she didn't seem to be as… unconcerned as she appeared. And probably not because she might disagree with Sirius's take on ships.

Home. Godric's Hollow. His room. He would be able to sleep in his own bed again instead of on his own robe stuffed with dry grass.

But he would be sleeping alone. Without Hermione.

"Rose will be so happy to have you back," Sirius commented with a smile. "She was really worried about you, you know."

Rose. Harry drew a sharp breath. His little sister would have been frantic! And he hadn't really thought about her. Merlin's beard, he was a jerk!

"As will be your parents, of course, Miss Granger," Sirius added.

"Did… did you tell them that you've found us?" Hermione asked.

"Ah… We didn't want to get their hopes up," Sirius explained. "And it's not as if we could tell them now - can't send a Patronus Messenger to muggles; that would threaten the Statute. Well, we could send them an owl, but we'd beat it to London.

"Ah." Hermione nodded.

Harry suppressed the urge to wince. She was missing her parents, of course. She couldn't wait to return home. Her home. But would she be missing him once they were home? They had talked about this, but that had been on the island, and now...

"Harry!" Mum interrupted his thoughts. She went and hugged him again. "Sorry for leaving you with Sirius, but Albus asked me to check an enchanted item that Abdul had found, and James was busy with the prisoners."

"An enchanted item?" Hermione asked. "Wouldn't that be more suited for a Curse-Breaker?"

"Bill was there as well," Mum told her. "But I was asked to examine the spells used. Amongst other reasons, to determine their age."

"Oh?" Hermione perked up. Of course she would. "What did you find out?"

"That the spell on the knife isn't an unknown curse, but merely a variant of an obsolete Cutting Curse." Lily released Harry.

He cleared his throat and pointed his wand at his clothes to straighten them out and clean them.

"Harry!" Hermione blurted out. "We're now on British soil!"

He froze. "Uh…"

Mum shook her head. "Don't worry about it - we're on a magical ship in a wizarding port. They don't track underage magic here. The Trace would be triggered every time you entered the harbour." She frowned. "It's the same reason the Trace won't be triggered in Diagon Alley or other magical locations."

"Ah." Hermione frowned as well. Deeply. "So, basically, underage magic is only tracked in muggle areas."

"Yes," Mum agreed. "The Ministry can only trace magic being done near an underage student, but not who cast it."

"Yes," Harry said. Sirius had explained that to him before he went to Hogwarts.

"I wonder how many muggleborns get framed by bigots by casting spells near them." Hermione scoffed.

"That isn't a problem any more - people can exonerate themselves by explaining the situation to the Ministry. A priori incantatem usually clears them," Mum explained. "It was bad when I was a student, though. Until the war grew worse and the Ministry couldn't spare any Aurors for such petty incidents any more."

"It's still not good," Hermione complained. "I can't do magic during the summer, unlike everyone from a magical household."

"You can come visit and do magic at our house," Harry told her with a smile. She could also stay the night if he had anything to say about it!

"Ah…" Hermione's initial smile faltered as she glanced at Mum.

Harry quickly turned to beam at her. "Please, Mum! We used magic all the time for weeks - we can't just quit from one day to the other!"

Sirius grinned. "That's a good argument to let you cast spells at home if I ever heard one."

"It'd also be illegal," Mum protested.

"Only if we get caught - and not even Rose would snitch on us!" Harry pointed out. His sister better not snitch on them - not if she wanted her more dangerous potions experiments kept a secret!

"It will be hard to stop using hairstyling charms," Hermione said, biting her lower lip.

Mum sighed, and Harry knew they had won.

"Speaking of hairstyling Charms," Mrs Potter said. "You look rather stubbly."

Stubbly? Hermione Granger blinked and ran a hand through her hair. Oh. Mrs Potter was talking about Harry.

"I didn't have my razor with me!" Harry protested. "And it's not stubble - it's a beard!"

"A rather stubbly beard," Mr Black chimed in with a chuckle.

"It's not!" Harry glared at him. "And this is your fault!"

"What?" Mr Black looked surprised. "How so?"

"You gave me the razor," Harry explained. "So, it's your fault that I never learned a shaving charm. And I couldn't cut my beard with a Severing Charm, could I?"

Hermione grimaced. That would've been a rather bloody affair. Lily Moon once tried to shave her legs with that charm. Granted, the girl had messed up the casting, but still!

"You're blaming me for not wanting to learn a charm?" Mr Black shook his head, chuckling again. "I'm so proud!"

"Sirius!" Mrs Potter hissed before turning to Harry. "James can cast the charm."

"I don't know…" Harry bit his lower lip and glanced at Hermione.

"Ask him," Hermione replied.

"It's not stubbly, isn't it?"

"No," she assured him, "but it's a little ragged."

"Oh." He looked down, and Hermione fought the urge to hug and console him. Besides, she was correct.

"We might want to freshen up, anyway," she said, looking at her clothes. "So we don't look like…"

"...like we spent two weeks on a deserted island?" Harry chuckled.

"Yes," she agreed, laughing as well.

"Well, the Prophet would love some pictures of you looking like that," Mr Black commented.

Hermione gasped - Lavender would never let her forget it if she appeared in the newspaper as she was now.

"If those vultures dare to take our pictures, I'm going to invent a new curse for them!" Mrs Potter spat. "I'll ask James to ensure no one's waiting for us in the Ministry."

"Can't we go straight home?" Harry asked.

"No. we don't have a direct connection from Gibraltar - it goes through the Ministry," Mrs Potter explained. "But yes, you should be able to freshen up a little," she added.

"Thank you!" Hermione smiled at her. She didn't want to meet her parents looking like she had run through a jungle for days. They would be worried enough already. Even though that came pretty close to what she had done.

"Yes, thanks, Mum," Harry said. "So… where do we do this?"

"We'll wait in the local inn while James and Albus settle things with the Ministry," Mrs Potter explained. "We can rent two rooms there."

"Two rooms?" Harry asked. "Oh."

"I think Miss Granger and Miss de Ciel can share. It won't take long, anyway. We'll probably be done before the prisoners are handed over," Mrs Potter said. "Albus has a way to speed things along."

"Just by being present," Mr Black said, laughing.

Hermione didn't laugh. She was aware of what would happen to the pirates, now that the British Ministry took charge.

"Lily!" Mr Potter approached them as the ship drew up next to a long pier. "I'm off to meet the governor. Can you handle the kids?"

"Yes."

Hermione pressed her lips together. She would be an adult in a little more than two months. But mentioning that would be childish.

Two Hit-Wizards - Hermione spotted the grey robes - were already waiting at the pier. They were standing at attention, so they probably knew that Dumbledore was on the ship. Well, according to what Hermione had heard, Dumbledore had boarded the ship in the same port this morning, so that was to be expected. Then again, the Ministry's competence wasn't beyond all doubt…

Hermione kept her wand ready as Mr Potter and the Headmaster handled the paperwork at the pier, then followed Mrs Potter and the other members of the rescue party to the local inn.

The inn itself was mostly empty, as far as Hermione could tell as they entered, but the service was swift, and she found herself in a room with Céline, Mrs Weasley and Mrs Potter in no time. A room with a real bathroom. A large tub, which Mrs Weasley filled with soaped, scented hot water with a flick of her wand.

She had to learn that spell. It shouldn't be too hard, and it would come in very handy should she ever find herself stranded again. Hermione added it to her mental list of spells she needed to master as she stripped down and slid into the tub, sighing with relief and contentment. "I missed this!" she announced.

"I can imagine," Mrs Weasley replied with a faint smile.

"I've fixed your clothes," Mrs Potter added while Hermione cleaned herself.

Hermione pressed her lips together. Those were her clothes - she was perfectly able to fix them herself! She forced herself to smile - they meant well. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Mrs Potter replied. Hermione caught her smile - friendly but with a hint of pity.

Hermione felt a cold shiver run down her spine. Oh dear Lord! She would have to face this attitude for the foreseeable future, wouldn't she? The poor little girl who was stranded on a pirate isle. Everyone be gentle with her so she doesn't break down crying!

She closed her eyes and tried to relax once more as Mrs Weasley helped Céline bathe. They probably treated both of them the same!

And she had thought dealing with her parents would be bad enough...

"Hold still!"

Harry Potter didn't want to hold still. He could shave himself perfectly fine - provided someone had brought him a razor, enchanted or not. To have Sirius cast a Shaving Charm on him…

He closed his eyes and clenched his teeth as he felt a brief breeze wash over his face.

"And done!" Sirius announced. "No more stubble!"

"It was a beard," Harry protested.

"It was stubble." Sirius pointed at his own face. "This is a beard. Well-styled, too. Albus has a beard. You had some stubble."

Harry sighed. Another week and no one would've called it stubble.

"Oh, sorry," Sirius said, suddenly looking worried.

"For what?" Harry snapped.

"I didn't want, well…" He shrugged. "I know you've had a rough time. I only wanted to help. And I didn't think to bring a razor."

Oh. "I'm fine," Harry told him.

"Are you sure?" Uncle Remus asked. "You have gone through an ordeal few people face. And you're still a… student."

Merlin's balls! "I'm fine," he snapped. "We've made it through this OK. It was just two weeks, anyway."

He didn't like the way Sirius and Uncle Remus looked at each other before smiling at him. Damn it!

He glanced at Uncle Peter, but he also seemed to think Harry was fragile and about to break down crying. Harry had done that already when he had hugged Mum and Dad! He wasn't about to repeat it. What would Hermione think?

Hermione… Harry still had no idea how to handle their… their relationship once they were back home. Visit every day? He could do that with the Knight Bus. And she could do the same. If she wanted to. He had invited her for daily visits, but would that be too clingy and drive her away? She would want to meet her friends, wouldn't she? Well, they could go on a double date with Ron and Lavender. Like in Diagon Alley before all this started, but for real.

He drew a sharp breath. Would that remind her of everything bad, though? Or of their feud? Perhaps pick another café? Hogsmeade, maybe? Or would it be better to go to some muggle cafés? That would also be more private - Harry really didn't want a date getting ruined by bumping into Malfoy. Or, much worse, having it plastered over the Prophet.

"It's alright, Harry," Sirius said, interrupting his thoughts. "It'll get better with time."

"What?" Harry shook his head. "No, no, I was… worrying about the Prophet writing a story about everything."

"Well…" Sirius grimaced, as did Uncle Remus. "I don't think that that can be helped. Since the pirates will receive their trial in the Ministry, the story will get out."

Uncle Remus nodded. "And your return will be noticed anyway - your disappearance was a big story as well."

"It was?" Harry winced. "How… How much was in the newspaper?" What did they know about the, uh, incident that started it?

"Well…" Sirius trailed off. "They know that you disappeared in Knockturn Alley, you and Miss Granger. And they know what you were doing beforehand."

"What?" Harry gasped. Did they know about him following Hermione?

"Your meeting with Ron and Miss Brown," Uncle Remus explained.

"Ah." Harry felt a little relieved. In hindsight, he had acted like an idiot, following Hermione. Well, she hadn't been acting like a genius, either.

"Of course, the Prophet being the Prophet, they were very creative with their articles," Sirius said.

Articles? More than one? Of course, Harry berated himself, they would milk this for all it was worth. "Uh… what did they write?" he asked.

"Well, you fought some hag cabal… you were kidnapped by Grindelwald's lost legion, you were possessed by a ghost of a Death Eater, you eloped with Miss Granger…"

Harry felt himself blush at that. "What?" he blurted out. "They think… What were they thinking?"

"Nothing, as usual. It's just the Prophet," Sirius said. "Anyway, once they hear about the pirates, they'll claim you captured them all. Or that they had captured you, and we saved you from being sacrificed to a volcano. Or something worse."

Harry pressed his lips together. If the Prophet claimed that they had been captured by pirates… He knew what they would claim about Hermione. "We have to tell them the truth, then. We can't let them speculate about this," he said. "Not about getting captured by the pirates!"

"You want to talk to the Prophet?" Sirius looked surprised.

"I don't want them to think we were captured," Harry repeated himself.

"Ah." Sirius nodded - he had finally understood the problem.

Good. Harry wasn't looking forward to it, but it was better than having to deal with all the rumours that would be spread about him and Hermione at Hogwarts if he let the Prophet make up a story.

"...and that's why we'll have to be prepared for reporters," Harry finished explaining as they approached the local administrative building.

Hermione Granger nodded. That made sense. She didn't like it at all, but it made sense. "I never expected that I'd have to deal with tabloids." Then again, maybe she should've - Wizarding Britain's only newspaper was a tabloid. And given the small size of the country, they tended to report even the smallest news if it was a slow day. Though they usually didn't cover Hogwarts.

"Be glad you didn't. It's not fun."

Right. Harry's parents were celebrities. At least in Wizarding Britain.

"It's not too bad, either," Mr Black commented.

"It's actually that bad," Mrs Potter disagreed. "The things they wrote about me when James and I got married…"

"Right. I had forgotten about that," Mr Black conceded. "They stopped, though."

"After I gave an interview about curses," Mrs Potter replied. "Anyway, we'll make sure the Prophet won't go overboard. But Harry is right - you have to talk to them if you don't want them to make up their own story."

"And even if you do, they will still embellish things," Mr Black added.

Hermione frowned. "I would prefer to see my parents first."

"Of course!" Mrs Potter nodded emphatically. "We wouldn't expose you to the press without letting you get… without letting you rest and recover from this, first."

"But wouldn't that defeat the entire purpose?" Hermione pointed out. "If we wait, they'll make up stories, won't they?" Hermione really didn't want to read how she was supposedly saved in extremis from an Ottoman Harem. Or out of one.

"We can give them the bare bones, I think," Mr Black said. "That Harry and Miss Granger were stranded on a Barbary Coast pirate island and daringly escaped the pirates and their pet monster until we arrived to save them."

"Uh…" Harry grimaced. "Do we have to mention the wyvern?"

"You won't be able to keep that a secret," Mrs Potter told him.

Harry sighed. "Hagrid will be sad."

Hermione winced as well. Professor Hagrid wouldn't be happy with them. But she agreed that trying to hide the wyvern's death wouldn't work. "So… we can use the wyvern to distract them? Show them the skull?"

"That's a good idea!" Mr Black smiled at her. "Especially if we make them work for getting pictures of it! If they think we don't want them to, they'll be certain to focus on that!"

"Good idea," Harry told her with a smile that made her feel better about it all. She still felt ill at ease at the thought of facing the press back home.

Home… Mum and Dad must be frantic with worry. She pressed her lips together and followed the others into the building.

Mr Potter and the Headmaster were there, smiling. "The Floo connection is ready," Mr Potter announced.

"You already handled all the paperwork?" Mr Black sounded almost as surprised and impressed as when he had heard about their adventure on the island, Hermione noticed.

"Mr Travers was very happy to facilitate the procedure after I reminded him that we had two children who had spent the last two weeks evading pirates and were anxious to return home," the Headmaster explained with his usual polite smile. "He would be here to greet you, but, unfortunately, he is kept busy handling the prisoners."

That caused some amusement amongst the group, but it was clear - at least Hermione thought so - that none wanted to stay here longer than necessary. They proceeded straight to the fireplace connecting Gibraltar with the Ministry.

"I'll go first, in case someone is waiting for us," Mr Potter said.

Hermione wondered whether he meant to dissuade a journalist, who might have decided to ambush them - or an actual ambush. She exchanged a glance with Harry, who nodded at her, and kept her wand ready.

"The Ministry!" Mr Potter disappeared in green fire, followed by Mr Black, Mr Lupin, and then Dumbledore.

Then it was Harry and her turn. She took a deep breath as she grabbed some Floo powder from the bowl, licked her lips and clearly pronounced "The Ministry!" as she threw it into the fire. As soon as it turned green, she clenched her teeth and stepped through.

The trip didn't feel different compared to any other trip through the Floo network, though she thought it had taken a little longer than usual. Not very much, though - and the brief moment of disorientation was the same as well, so…

Someone pointed their wand at her! She dived to the side, raising her wand…

…and froze, embarrassed. Mr Potter was staring at her. "I was merely about to clean the soot off your robes," he told her. "I'm sorry. I should've waited, but…"

"Ah." She felt her face flush and stood.

"Hermione!"

Harry had arrived - wand in hand.

"I surprised her," Mr Potter said. He glanced at her. She nodded, and he waved his wand, casting a Cleaning Charm on her, then on Harry.

They were in a chamber with a closed door - or gate - she realised. Not the usual Ministry fireplaces in the Atrium. And behind the others, a pair of wizards stood guard. Hit-Wizards. Who, she noted, carefully didn't stare.

"After such an experience, anyone would be a little nervous. Why, I remember almost hexing the face off of my favourite Gobstones partner when he paid me a surprise visit after the war," Dumbledore said with a smile.

Hermione forced herself to return the smile. She wasn't… it was perfectly normal to react to a wand being pointed at your face!

Céline and Mrs Weasley arrived, followed by Mr Weasley - Fleur and Bill, she reminded herself, though it would be some time before she got used to that - and Mrs Potter.

"Where's Peter?" Mr Black asked.

"He said he had to look into a few things," Mrs Potter explained.

Mr Black laughed at that. "Peter… already on the next mission."

"He's probably keeping an eye on the pirates," Mr Potter said. "Anyway, let's get you out of here, and home." He turned to Hermione. "We'll take the Floo Network to our home, and I'll apparate with you to your home from there. Is that alright?"

She nodded. "Of course." After saying goodbye to Céline - Fleur would take her home to her family. And she'd take the wand and the remains of the French witch they had found with her as well.

He smiled. "Good. Now, Hastings told me that there is a journalist in the Atrium, so…"

"Not Skeeter?" Harry blurted out.

"No, not Skeeter," Mr Potter replied. "Thank God."

"We'll have to give a short statement and arrange an interview with them at a later date. That should do it," Mrs Potter said. "And we might distract them with the news about the wyvern."

"I think I shall stress my concern about my students being pounded by over-eager journalists," Dumbledore casually mentioned.

Hermione was certain that that would help a lot to keep the press off them.

But she feared it would frame the narrative as Harry and her being shocked victims. And she wouldn't like that.

But she wasn't about to contradict the Headmaster in this. She had to trust him.