Summary: Fairy Tail does Battle of the Bands….it doesn't end well.

Pairings: Lucy/Erza friendship, implied Gray/Juvia, Lucy/Wendy friendship, and lots of other friendships and family feels implied.

YouTube Prompt: Fairy Tail tribute to 'Livin' on the Edge' by Aerosmith.

When Master announced a Battle of the Bands competition – in a desperate attempt to keep the guild entertained and behaving for at least one week – Lucy hadn't really given it much thought.

After all despite many years of mandatory piano lessons and singing instruction to help her become the perfect accomplished lady, she didn't really have a big interest in music.

Give her a good book any day over a musical instrument and an audience staring at her.

But when Erza Scarlet decides something it was impossible to persuade her otherwise and, for reasons Lucy couldn't comprehend, Erza had decided that they were going to form a band and compete in the Battle of the Bands.

"….we would make the ultimate girl band," she insisted as she followed Lucy around her apartment. Lucy had been trying to shake her off all afternoon and failed abysmally. Now she was preparing tea and cake for her terrifyingly violent stalker of a friend. There was something wrong with her assertive skills here… "We're beautiful, talented, and we would all fit a niche in the market that the boys just can't compete with. You can be the posh beautiful one."

"Thanks," Lucy grimaced, "but perhaps you're better off with someone else? What about Mira?"

"Mira," Erza said disgustedly, "is already in her own band with Elfman and Lisanna. They're the Strauss Siblings and they think they have an advantage of the family gimmick thing though the only instrument they have to offer is an acoustic guitar. We're going to be so much better than that."

"Oh we will, will we?" Lucy raised a sardonic eyebrow. "And who exactly are we?"

"Well there will be me on my electric guitar, I am the scary one," yes, yes you are, Lucy thought but did not dare say out loud. She rather liked to keep all her bones intact after all. "Then there's Cana on the drums, she's going to be the slutty one, Levy on the keyboard as the clever one, and Wendy on the tambourine as the baby of the group."

"What about Juvia?" Lucy asked. "Juvia can sing rather sweetly. And she's pretty and posh, she can be your singer."

"Juvia," Erza said frostily with disapproval, "has declined to be in any band as she is too busy being Gray-Sama's groupie."

"Urgh!" Lucy groaned.

"Yes," Erza agreed, "quite. And before you make any other suggestions Evergreen is, of course, in the band known as Laxus and the Thunder God Tribe," Lucy rolled her eyes at the lack of originality on that one, "Bisca is away on a family holiday with Alzack and Asuka, Laki thinks she is above such things, Kinana is one of the judges, and Charle outright refuses. So you are our only hope."

Lucy felt both incredibly smug and rather embarrassed at that. It was nice to be someone's only hope. She had fantasised being someone's only hope in the past (though usually it was in the heat of a battle not for some silly singing competition where the prize was probably free drinks) but at the same time it was really cringe-y and embarrassing.

Especially since Erza seemed to be on the verge of grovelling.

"Please Lucy!" Erza suddenly got down on her knees." I am humbling beseeching you to be a good and honourable friend and join us in this quest of triumph in the music scene."

"Oh my God!" Lucy cried out horrified. "If I say yes, would you stop kneeling in front of me like that?!"

"Of course."

"Then yes!" Lucy said hastily as she tried to pull Erza back up on her feet. "I will be your singer. Just stand up for the love of God!"

"Excellent!" Erza suddenly shot up and yanked Lucy into a bone crunching hug. Lucy could not nothing more than whimper pathetically as her head collided against Erza's cold and very hard armour. "I am overjoyed that you have agreed to this! We will have so much fun together! I cannot wait!"

"I can tell!" Lucy croaked out. "Erza!" she gasped frantically as Erza's hug seemed to tighten to the point of suffocation. "Can't breathe!"

Erza hastily let Lucy go. "My apologies," she said with great composure, "now we must begin to prepare for this battle before the enemy gains a field advantage. "

Before Lucy could open her mouth had remind Erza that a Battle of the Bands was not a literal battle and was supposed to be fun, Erza firmly grabbed Lucy's wrist and hauled her out of Lucy's apartment and down the road towards Fairy Hill.

A whole week consisting of finding the right outfit ("The perfect armour is a must," Erza said wisely, "I have won many battles because I had worn the correct armour.") and doing girly bonding such as giving each other make overs and pillow fights ("a team should bond," Erza said bossily, "a strong team with a strong bond is a victorious team.") then commenced and before Lucy knew it she was standing in the guild with perfectly teased hair, the tiniest, pinkest dress, and the most ridiculously high heels ever known to man.

"Lucy!" Natsu goggled at her. "What the hell are you supposed to be?!"

"I'm," Lucy said haughtily, suddenly filled with self-righteousness and indignation, "the posh beautiful one."

"Pfft!" Natsu snorted obnoxiously. "Ha, ha! That's the most stupid, weirdest, thing, I have ever heard!" he laughed gleefully.

"It is not!" Lucy flushed crossly (though secretly she kinda agreed with him. She felt stupid and weird in this tight dress and killer heels. What was Erza thinking when she put her in this?). "It's perfectly normal for a girl band! What are you supposed to be?" she sneered. "A grungier slob than usual?"

"Heh," Natsu laughed unbothered by her taunt whatsoever, "I'm the drummer for our super awesome cool boy bad. The Slayerz. With a Z."

"Slayerz?" Lucy wrinkled her nose.

"I argued," Gray said disgustedly as he tugged uncomfortably at his gothic t-shirt collar, "I begged, I pleaded, I protested, I bickered, I voted, hell even Juvia voted with me," Juvia was playing her part as a groupie perfectly as she clung to Gray's waist and stared up at him adoringly, "and somehow I was ignored entirely."

"Three out of four," Gajeel grunted, "you were outvoted. Get over it."

"Yeah!" Romeo grinned. "Slayerz is an awesome name. What's your band name, Wendy?"

"Oh!" Wendy said flustered. She looked extra adorable today in her best, extra frilly, dress that Erza insisted on her wearing. "We're Girl Power."

The boys all snorted at that.

"Erza," Lucy said pointedly, "picked that name."

The boys hastily shut up at that.

"Okay!" Master clapped his hands together silencing the entire guild as they all turned round to face him. "Enough sitting around and doing nothing. Let the Battle of the Bands commence!"

It was then when Lucy realised that during her whole week of girly fun and primping they had never, not once, picked a style of music, or a song, or even practised.

She panicked.

"Erza!" She hissed. "Erza what exactly are we going to sin-"

BANG!

Lucy's eyes widened in horror when Gajeel suddenly lifted up his guitar and smacked Bickslow as hard as possible with it. What was worse was that Erza and Mira seemed to have launched into a fencing battled with their own guitars and Levy was currently shooting out deadly musical notes from her keyboard.

Then the chairs stated to fly.

"EEK!"

Lucy and Wendy both screamed as they clutched each other and ducked down to avoid the chaos their friends were creating. They rolled under a table where Lucy found Happy, Lily, and Charle observing in near peace. Charle looked uninterested now Wendy was safe, Lily was enjoying a cool kiwi juice and looked bored, and Happy was cheering on Natsu.

"Happy!" Lucy whispered shrilly. "What hell is this?!"

"What a stupid question, Lushy," Happy said, "its Battle of the Bands. What do you think it is?"

Lucy bashed her head against the stone floor.

Of course Fairy Tail would take the battle part literally. Why have a normal singing competition when you could have a ridiculous actual fight using instruments as a weapon? It's Fairy Tail after all!