Summary: Even those on a quest of redemption can be immature and unprofessional….
Pairings: Ultear/Jellal/Meredy friendship.
YouTube Prompt: Lucy tribute to 'Hand in my Pocket' by Alanis Morissette.
Their quest to destroy all things Zeref and dark in order to gain the redemption for their sins had resulted them into meeting this shady shop owner in one of the more sleazy parts of town.
The man had apparently dealt with dark magic and dabbled with necromancy and was therefore the closest thing to an expert to the traces of demonic magic Jellal, Ultear, and Meredy had stumbled upon in this town. The plan was a simple exchange of information for money before they continued with their current task.
Of course they hadn't counted on one thing…
"….please," the shopkeeper smirked sleazily at Ultear's cool, threatening, demands, "none of this shopkeeper business. We're all friends here. You can call me Mr Cockbill."
Jellal's face contorted at that.
He immediately slapped a hand over his mouth as he tried to desperately smother his own laughter. "Pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft!" he snorted long and hard into his hand. "Oh God!" he cackled as he gave up within seconds. "Cockbill?!" he repeated. "COCKBILL?!"
"Yes," Mr Cockbill said stiffly, "that is what I said."
"So what," Jellal smirked an insufferably smug smirk that Ultear had all been too familiar with back in their Magic Council days, this wasn't polite, quiet, serious Jellal that she had gotten to know recently, this was immature, obnoxious, loud Siegrain. "Does it charge you every time you take a whizz?"
Mr Cockbill glowered at Jellal. "I beg your pardon?!" he huffed indignantly.
Jellal widened his eyes with false innocence. "Does it cause problems in your romantic relationships when your cock presents its bill at the end of the night?" he asked sweetly.
"Why you little-!"
"What my colleague meant to say," Ultear cut in swiftly before Mr Cockbill (rightfully) decked Jellal, "is that he's a moron. Please ignore him. He had a traumatic childhood and several injuries to head that makes him incapable of interacting in polite society."
Jellal grumbled at that (rightfully so as his traumatic childhood and brain injuries can all be laid at Ultear's door but she's working on fixing all of that) but thankfully kept his mouth shut for the rest of their visit which allowed Ultear to obtain the information they needed.
"Hee, hee, hee!" Jellal snickered childishly as they left the shop. "Cockbill!" he repeated to himself. "That's almost as hilarious as the time Erza kneed the ambassador in the groin at that diplomatic ball she was supposed to be providing security for."
"Men!" Ultear rolled her eyes.
Then she caught sight of Meredy who was shaking with barely suppressed laughter as tears of mirth ran down her cheeks.
"Children!" she corrected herself.