Almost from the beginning of his time with Snoke, memories and imaginings of his parents would demand his attention.

Most nights—as he struggled to find comfort in that spare, cold bed—the past would attack and plunder, forcing him to wonder what his mother might have done if he'd gone to her, explained what really happened that night at the Temple. Usually, he would picture her face twisting in revulsion as she turned her back on him. Sometimes, she'd have him arrested. Those were the worst thoughts—especially the satisfied look on her face when the Republic sentenced him to death.

Not even the best scenarios he'd managed to conjure included her believing his side of the story.

That he's watching his mother stare daggers at her twin instead of interrogating Ben has him reeling; he has no place to put this outcome. The silence feels almost malevolent as Leia's nostrils flare with each barely controlled breath.

Oddly, Luke doesn't even try to explain himself—instead, he looks as if he's waiting for the executioner's axe to fall. Wisely, Han is attempting to dissolve into the bulkhead. Rey has stayed close, but all he can feel from her is alert wariness.

Leia tilts her head, giving Ben the impression of a scientist inspecting her specimen. With deadly calm, she hisses, "You tried to kill my son."

There's not even a trace of doubt in her tone.

Taking in a deep breath, Luke says, "It's more complicated than that," while raking his hand through his graying hair. As always, his tone is imperious—he is the last Jedi master after all. Even when Ben was just a boy, Luke had become quite comfortable with his status, usually expecting deference. And he got it—even from Leia Organa.

Rey shifts closer to him, sliding her hand into his, grasping his fingers firmly. He's dimly aware that she's almost vibrating with something he can't discern; he should find out what's upsetting her, but he must watch this unfold.

"Are you why he joined Snoke?" Leia asks her brother with deceptive placidity.

Luke hesitates then tightly shuts his eyes before affirming, "Yes."

Rey breathes in sharply, her whole body flinching. But his mother only nods once, then lifts her head, focusing on a spot past Luke's head as the silence stretches. It doesn't really matter that Leia won't look at him; Luke keeps his gaze trained on the floor, avoiding her icy expression.

As to his father, he's holding perfectly still, like a prey animal hoping to evade becoming dinner. It's not a bad strategy, all things considered. Rey drifts even closer, her body now taut and ready. He's not sure why this unfolding disaster is affecting her so intensely, though it must be strange to find herself in the middle of a reckoning decades in the making.

Luke's familiar hubris has fully reasserted itself, his voice taking on that grating condescension. "Now, Leia, let me expl—"

"Quiet!" she roars, making his mouth snap shut and his arrogance leech away as he finally dares to meet her eyes.

Stalking like a loth-cat, Leia closes the distance between them until she's staring up into Luke's eyes. She might only reach his shoulder, but he almost cowers from her piercing gaze. His mother radiates such pure power that the Millennium Falcon's old hull groans from the stress.

"That holo you so graciously sent before you disappeared like so much space dust—you told us Ben had turned on you, destroyed everything, killed children." Her voice snaps like a whip.

Nodding slightly, his brow furrowed as if he's in physical pain, Luke stays silent. Ben might loathe the man, but he grudgingly acknowledges that his former master isn't stupid.

"So, you lied. You made me think my boy was a monster, a murderer, beyond my reach—for years!" she seethes.

"I—I—I thought he was. Even though he was drowning in the dark, I couldn't do it! I couldn't kill him … but it was too late. Ben thought I was about to attack him …" Luke's shoulders slump, giving him a defeated air, his usual arrogance ripped away by Leia's clarity. Quietly, he admits, "He really was only defending himself."

Although he's always known what had happened that night, hearing the great Luke Skywalker confirm that it truly was self-defense makes him nearly collapse—Rey's steady hold, the only thing keeping him tethered.

With a flat, clinical affect, he continues, "When I came to, the Temple was burning and all but three of the students were dead. They were nowhere to be found; I still don't know what happened to them."

"Let me make sure I understand you—none of that 'from a certain point of view' crap, either. All you actually knew was that Ben acted to protect himself and someone destroyed the Temple."

"Yes," Luke answers after a moment. Then his eyes narrow. "But what else was I supposed to think? Look at what he became! He'd already turned before that night! He was already Kylo Ren," he protests, gesturing towards Ben.

This he must address. "No, I wasn't," Ben growls.

The old Jedi's face fills with incredulity as his attention shifts to Ben. "You reeked of the dark side!" he argues.

"Of course I did, Old Man! Snoke had been slithering through my head since I was a baby! That's what you were sensing, Master." His mother's fingers fly to her lips and Rey tightens her hold on his hand. "I had no idea what to think, who I was … I was always so lost."

A painful lump forms in his throat and years of never fitting together, always being found wanting gathers in his eyes. The tears sting like acid.

"Was I really so awful?" His voice cracks as he furiously wipes his eyes, unreasonably angry that he can't control his emotions in front of Luke.

If Ben had hoped for some indication of remorse from his erstwhile uncle, the way Luke crosses his arms and stubbornly thrusts out his chin stamps out that delusion.

Rey's other hand goes to his bicep, stroking soothingly. He glances towards her briefly and the understanding he finds in her eyes gives him a moment, just a single moment, of respite.

"It was always Snoke!" Leia snarls, drawing his attention away from Rey. "From the very beginning …" Her voice takes on a far-away quality as memory pulls her down. But then her head snaps towards Luke and her words are punctuated with venom. "You told me I was imagining things!"

"I didn't know! It never occurred to me that was even possible!" Luke exclaims.

"I sent him to you to help him! Did you ever even try?"

The way Luke's eyes glance away fills Ben with apprehension.

"Luke?" his mother hisses. "Tell me you did everything you could."

"He was always so volatile! He'd never work with the other students, just best them at every opportunity! Eventually I couldn't trust him on his own so I kept him close. But, the dark, it only kept growing!"

And just like that, the handful of good memories he had of his uncle are ripped away. Sure. Why not? Of course his travels with Luke had only been born of suspicion.

"It was obscene, when I'd catch him using the dark side! He enjoy—"

A hard slap rings out and Luke yelps, cradling his cheek. The shock of Leia's aggression shuts Luke up swiftly. Leia just holds him in her gaze, emanating tremendous rage, making the Force vibrate in an almost uncomfortable way.

Ben doesn't remember using the dark side as a child. Not really …. but …

Maker, never, never had there been a way out; he truly had been doomed from birth. Contaminated. Diseased. If he didn't feel like breaking down in screaming sobs, he'd probably laugh at the perversity, the inevitability of it all.

As his mother continues to keep Luke hypnotized with her fury, his knees begin to weaken and a broken shudder scrapes through him.

That's when Rey grabs him and forces him to the opposite bulkhead, putting as much distance between them and his family as possible.

"What—" he protests, her unexpected action rescuing him from the past.

Before he can catch up, she wraps her arms around his torso, almost crushing his ribs, surprising him with her strength. He returns her embrace, deciding that reminding himself of everything Rey represents is exactly what he needs; he'd been precariously close to completely losing his mind.

Her arms loosen slightly as she strokes his back with firm, soothing movements. That Rey has pulled him away, insistent on comforting him, breathes that much more life into his desiccated spirit. After a few calming breaths, he straightens his spine and looks down into her face. Giving her a small smile, he begins to turn, intent on returning to the fray.

But she grasps his face and forces him to meet her eyes. He can't decipher her expression and his own emotions are far too fraught to untangle much of anything.

"Rey—"

"I'm not sure exactly what's going on between us and this bond, but I do know that I felt everything you were feeling, are feeling—how that man hurt you," she snarls with barely caged wrath.

Is that what's been upsetting her so much?

He curls his fingers around her hands holding his cheeks, taking in her bright eyes and clenched jaw. On some level, he understands that Rey wants to protect him, but he still can't find a way to believe that any scrap of him is worthy of her ferocity.

Sighing, he says, "It was years ago—I'm fine."

"No, you're not!" she argues, pulling away and planting her hands at her hips.

She's right. He's not fine, not even remotely. It had been a reflexive response after years of hiding any hint of vulnerability. He'd learned well how everything, everything will be used against you. Until Rey, even just the concept of trust had been too remote to imagine.

That's when he realizes Rey has been keeping her body between him and his family. The way she's holding herself, as if she's ready to attack, eyes constantly roving ...

She's shielding him.

Slack jawed and unable to truly comprehend this fire, this loyalty—all he can do is blink. He's not sure anyone has ever protected him. Every new petal that unfurls, revealing another bit of Rey, leaves him dumbfounded and ever more enthralled.

He knows next to nothing about her; he knows everything about her.

Reaching for her, he soothes, "It's alright, they won't hurt me," as he coaxes her closer.

Skepticism fills her eyes. "That man, your uncle—I don't trust him," she declares, even as she allows him to draw her near.

He can't help it, his face breaks into a wide grin, completely at odds with the situation; Rey looks at him in bewilderment. "I'm sorry, it's just … you don't have a weapon, you've no idea how to use the Force, yet you're willing to take on Luke Skywalker, the last of the Jedi."

"I don't care who he is—he hurt you," she insists. The look in her eyes makes it abundantly clear how she feels about that.

All he can do is let the wonder fill his chest as he pulls her against him. For a brief moment he searches her eyes. She really would go on the attack, and he's actually not sure if Luke would make it out alive.

Swiftly, he finds her mouth and kisses her, muffling her startled squeak. He's going to spend his life learning every single thing about her. All her delights, all her desires. He'll lay offering after offering at her feet, knowing it will never be enough.

Breaking the kiss, he whispers, "I love you." There's no other way to convey this feeling that cleanses him. He'd told her before, but he's not sure she'd heard him as he'd drowned her consciousness with the Force.

The hope, the joy that sparkles in her gaze makes it clear she hadn't heard when he'd given words to the embers within him that she's stoked into a blaze, the lush garden she's grown in his heart, the placid ocean that quiets his storm.

He's getting a bit lost in her eyes, nothing could possibly matter more than this moment. At first, when she'd crashed into his life, all he could do was follow the shrapnel. Now, he wants the peace, the beauty, the truth she offers. Not simply because he's hers, but because of who she believes him to be.

He will learn how to deserve this incomprehensible loyalty.

It doesn't matter that she's not given words to what she feels for him. She doesn't need to. Still, he's hopeful when she opens her mouth to speak.

"Little help here, Ben?" Han's urgent voice slices through their bubble. He'd been so caught up in Rey that the further destruction of his family had faded away from his attention.

Then a wrench sails over Rey's head.

What the hell?

Turning swiftly, he finds his mother flinging any loose object she can find at Luke's head, using both her power and her hands. The area around his uncle is littered with broken glass, numerous tools, and the object of Leia's ire appears to be drenched in cold caf—wait, is that his old sparing sphere rolling along the durasteel?

Han keeps trying to get to her, but every time he's close, she Force pushes him on his ass.

"Leia!" Luke cries out, batting away the latest projectile with a wave of his hand.

"Shut up," she growls at her twin, nothing less than murder flashing in her eyes.

There goes a spare crate … it hits with a loud thud as it barely misses Luke. "Hey! That coulda really hurt me!" he sputters.

"That's the idea, Brother." The coldness in her tone makes even Ben want to shiver.

Having regained his feet, Han stands next to Ben with Rey on his other side. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees his father lift his hand as if to touch him then drop his arm. Ben turns slightly towards him, more than a little surprised to realize that he's taller than his father.

Han catches his eyes and the man seems almost … ashamed? "Look, I know we got a lot to hash out, but I think your mom might actually kill Luke."

"Good," Rey spits and Ben turns his head to her, still a bit surprised by her rancor. "What?" she asks. "He hurt you. I already told you how I feel about that."

"Guess ya got your ol' man's taste in women," Han says with a hearty chuckle, drawing Ben's attention back to his father. But then his gaze grows serious as he rubs the back of his neck. "I thought I'd seen her angry before. Turns out she was goin' easy on me." An unholy shriek underlines his father's words.

With Luke pleading and Leia beginning to look a bit drained, Ben is astonished, to his core, that he doesn't actually want his mother to hurt her brother. This … this is everything he could have dreamed when he was younger—had he let himself dwell on what had happened that night.

For the first time in his life, his mother isn't swayed by Luke's pedantry. She hadn't even hesitated; she'd believed Ben the minute he told her what Luke had done.

She put him first.

And that's why he has to stop this—she'd never forgive herself if she harmed her twin.

Gently, he calls out, "Mom?"

The whirling and vibrating of the Force ceases immediately and Leia's eyes instantly find his. She looks … she looks lost.

Slowly, yet purposefully, he goes to her and simply wraps her impossibly small frame in his arms. She'd always seemed made entirely of durasteel and he's not quite sure what to do when she sags against him.

Then she begins to shake and say something into his chest. He bends his head down so he can better hear her.

"I'm sorry, Son. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry—"

"I know, Mom … I know." They've never been very honest with each other, but somehow he can feel the truth in the air around him.

"If I'd known—" she chokes out.

Pulling back, he crouches down a bit so he's at her eye level. "Mom, I know. I know."

The shame that shadows her eyes makes him grimace as she quickly wipes away her tears. "I always knew he didn't tell me everything, but I never imagined …" she shudders out.

He could rant about how she'd sent him away, even after he begged to stay. His father had tried, as well, to no avail. He could question why she rarely visited. He could throw a childhood of nanny-droids in her face, scream with the bitterness of years of neglect.

But he doesn't have to. All he has to do is look into her soulful brown eyes to know that the years since that life-shattering night have carved every one of her failures into her very bones. Perhaps even some that shouldn't be lain at her door.

The sorrow, the grief, the regret bleeding through the Force and overwhelming her gaze washes away any remaining desire he might have had to make her hurt. Because she has and to claw into her would only be cruel; there's no satisfaction to be had from more pain.

"Mom … it's okay."

Her expression shifts to denial, and she begins to shake her head.

"Really, I'm okay."

"How could you be? Your whole family turned their back on you! I … I … I let you go!" she sobs before hiding her face behind her hands.

Looking towards Rey, he finds her with her arms wrapped around her waist, as if she must hold herself back. She's at his side instantly when he reaches for her.

As their fingers tangle together, he can't help but sigh from the warmth that infuses him. Will he ever get used to the wholeness she brings with simply the whisper of her touch?

His mother's shoulders are shaking with her weeping, and he tips her face up by her chin, holding her eyes until he's certain she won't look away. He pulls Rey closer, dropping her hand but immediately wrapping her with his arm.

"Mom, I promise, I'm okay. Or, at least I will be, with Rey. I know you can sense it."

The glimmer of hope sparking to life in Leia's eyes allows him to breathe in fully as he curls his other arm around his mother.

Holding his past and his future in his arms brings him a new kind of peace.

And that future unfurling before him is so beautiful he can barely allow himself to think on it, afraid it will fade like a particularly blissful dream.

But he thinks, just this once, it's safe to hope.

A/N: I'm so sorry for disappearing again! Hurricane Ida came to town and turned everything inside out. For how difficult I found it to navigate I should have some epic survival story, but I'm delicate. My grand hurricane tale: "It was sooooooooo hoooooooooooooot without air conditioning!" Mr. Downing had us well stocked and focused on outside the house so I could focus on looking after Mama Downing. He rocked it, of course.

Thank you, ArtemisBare for your continued encouragement and listening to me whine about being without power for so long.

Thank you, Readers! Again, sorry for the delay. I won't even try to guess what my writing schedule will be, as I'm beginning to think the universe takes that as a challenge. I hope you like this chapter! Thank you so much for every hit, kudo, and especially the rocked fuel of fic writing-comments! Space cupcakes for everyone!