Summary: This time Lucy is the one that is really unprofessional…

Pairings: Natsu/Lucy/Happy friendship

Author's Note: Thank you all for giving me over THIRTEEN THOUSAND AND TWO HUNDRED REVIEWS!

Lucy lived in hope that this was the job that will get her rent paid.

It had been a very long and exhausting month of one failed job after another with nothing but a trail of destruction, burn marks, and an empty purse to show for it. Lucy was now incredibly desperate when she dragged Natsu and Happy for one last attempt before she ended up homeless and living on the streets.

The town that needed their assistance wasn't too far away and they had managed the journey on foot. Despite this though Lucy was very relieved to see the Town Hall where she could finally have a five minute sit down and rest her feet before she got to work.

The mayor was a jolly man with the warmest smile as he welcomed them in.

"Welcome, welcome," he said cheerfully as he ushered them into his office, "I'm the mayor of this town Mr Peacock, and you are…?"

Lucy froze in horror as the Mayor's words echoed in her head.

Mr Peacock, Mr Peacock, Mr Peacock, Mr Peacock …

She could already just hear the crude dick jokes and sniggers that Natsu and Happy were going to make!

She was never going to get her rent money!

"I'm Happy," Happy replied cheerfully, "and this is Natsu, and the weird, creepy, lady that is gawking very rudely is Lucy."

Lucy's eye twitched at the insult but she let it go in favour of trying to maintain a professional front for their client.

And also because she was just waiting for Natsu to screw it up.

"Peacock, huh?" Natsu nodded slowly. "Like the bird, awesome."

Any minute now – wait, what?!

"Wait," Lucy cried out, surprised, "THAT'S IT?!"

Happy and Mr Peacock jumped at Lucy's screech while Natsu merely blinked and looked utterly baffled. Lucy felt her cheeks heat up in embarrassment as there was a long, drawn out, silence as everyone stared at her.

"Are you okay, Luce?" Natsu asked eventually. "You didn't eat something funny and now feel sick, do you?"

"No!" Lucy flushed. "I'm not the one who isn't okay. You're," she pointed a finger at Natsu, "the one that's acting weird."

"Me?!" Natsu squawked indignantly. "What are you on about, you weirdo?"

"Like the bird, awesome," Luc mimicked (which caused Happy to promptly double over in hysterics at her poor Natsu impression). "Nothing else?!" she cried out disbelievingly, "No childish laughter? No stupid jokes about his cock being the size of a pea?"

"Excuse me!" Mr Peacock huffed out indignantly. "I am standing right here you know!"

He was duly ignored as Lucy's eyes were firmly locked onto Natsu's.

"Just like the bird, awesome?" Lucy pressed. "Are you unwell? Have you got a fever or something? Did you eat something funny? Because the Natsu I know would have made an immature joke, laughed hysterically, and gotten us fired by now!"

Natsu merely continued to stare at Lucy in utter confusion. His eyes were wide and deceptively innocent as he reached up and scratched the back of his head. There was another silence that was almost suffocating when Natsu opened his mouth and -

"Is that why they're called peacocks?!" he blurted out excitedly.

Lucy blinked. "Huh?" she said unintelligently.

"Peacocks," Natsu said as if she was a moron, "Are they called that because their thingies are the size of a pea?"

"No!" Lucy barked furiously. "They're called peacocks because…well actually," she smiled sheepishly, "I don't know why they're called peacocks but I'm pretty sure that's not why!"

"Well then," Natsu grinned childishly, "Let's find out!"

"Wait, what?!"

Lucy barely had time to blink when Natsu suddenly grabbed hold of her hand and dragged her out of the Town Hall in hunt of the nearest settlement of peacocks (Happy trailing after them while giggling like a hyena).

"HANG ON!" Mr Peacock bellowed after them. "YOU CAN'T JUST WALK OUT ON A JOB LIKE THAT! IT'S VERY UNPROFESSIONAL! THIS WILL GO IN YOUR REVIEW!"

Lucy didn't care though a poor review declaring her unprofessional had nothing on the fact she ended up having to borrow money from her friends in order to make her rent that month.

And that she spent an afternoon having to tend Natsu's and Happy's peacock bite wounds as they discovered the hard way that peacocks weren't named after the size of their thingies.

If only she kept her mouth shut….