Chapter Six
"Hey, Lincoln… Do you think you and I could sleep together first? I'm curious about sleeping with a girl, but I don't want that to be my first time…" Lucy muttered, blushing slightly. Lincoln looked away guiltily from Lucy. He wanted to be with Lucy… But he didn't want to hurt her… How could he consolidate the two problems with each other? He loved Lucy… Enough that he wanted the best for her…
"Are you sure I'm really the best thing for you, Luce?" Lincoln asked.
"I don't know. I don't know if this is good for me… But I know I enjoy it. You make me happy, Linc. You've kissed me and I want to go further… I want to go all the way with you." Lucy whispered, a look of desire and lust crossing her beautiful features.
"I-I want that too… I just… We're brother and sister. Every civilized country in the world has laws against that.
"I'm not saying 'people won't understand'. How cliché, right? But… What about our family? What will they think? What about your friends? I don't want you to be rejected because of a mistake that I made."
"It would be my mistake, too. And if that's a mistake… Then maybe it's a good mistake."
"I'm the older sibling. I'm supposed to be able to be responsible. I'm supposed to be able to do what's right for my sisters…"
"But I want to be able to do you. That was pathetic…" Lucy muttered. She needed to leave the comedy to Luan.
"Lucy… Do you really want to sleep with Girl Jordan? I don't mind if you do, and Girl Jordan is definitely on board with the idea… But it has to be what you want."
"I just want to make you happy, Linky…" Lucy said shyly. Lincoln suddenly felt a horrible pang of guilt.
"No… That's not okay, Lucy… I never want you to feel like you have to do something just to make me happy… Especially something as big as having sex with someone!" Lincoln protested, hugging Lucy tightly. He took her hands in his and looked into her eyes.
"Look… It has to be entirely your decision what you want to do. I promise you that Jordan will be on board with it…"
"What if she isn't?" Lucy asked. She didn't want to break up Lincoln and Jordan.
"What if she doesn't want to be with you if I won't sleep with her…"
"Then I'll break up with her." Lincoln said simply. Lucy looked shocked.
"Look, I like Girl Jordan, I might even love her. I don't know. She's the most serious relationship I've had so far…
"But she said it was alright with her if I also dated you. But if she starts making demands of you like that, then clearly there's something wrong, and I'm not going to put up with someone trying to force you to do something like that… If you won't stand up for yourself, then know that I always will. But Girl Jordan's not like that. I've known her for years… She would never do something like that. I'm sure she'll be asking you the same questions I'm asking you now when the time comes."
"But… Why would you break up with her f-for me?"
"Well… I'm 100% sure that I won't have to. But because you're my sister… Just because I have feelings for you doesn't mean you're just another girl to me. You're special, and you should always be treated with the respect you deserve… From everyone.
"Do you know what poems you're going to be reading today?"
"I have a few that I brought. I'm not sure which one I'll choose to read. Are you sure Jordan won't take my unwillingness to sleep with her out on you?"
"Lucy… I'm sure of two things. One is that she won't. She's not that kind of girl. Two is that I won't let anyone use you, no matter how much I like them.
"If you don't trust Girl Jordan, do you trust me? Do you trust that I have your best interests in mind?" He asked. He hesitated to say that at first because he wasn't even sure that he did. He had been overwhelmed by lust and desire and he wanted Lucy so badly, even if it made him feel like the worst scumbag in the world, taking advantage of his thirteen year old sister's trust and love for him.
"I do… And you don't need to worry about taking advantage of me, Lincoln. I may be willing to do anything for you, but I'm not stupid. I can tell if someone is trying to take advantage of me, and I know for a fact that you're not. I can feel your love for me seeping through my soul. Your confusion over your feelings for me threw me off for a long time. But I'm glad that you're finally accepting your feelings, no matter how taboo they are.
"I just want one thing from you. One promise." Lucy said. Lincoln nodded.
"You have to promise that you won't be ashamed of me. I know I'm not as pretty as Girl Jordan or as skilled as her in what I hear you two doing together… But I need you to not be ashamed of me."
"Lucy!" Lincoln said, appalled. "I could never be ashamed of you! And you're every bit as beautiful as Girl Jordan. Don't ever let anyone tell you you're not!" He said gently but firmly.
He knelt down as they reached the entrance to the club, taking her hands in his and brushing her hair out of her eyes, looking into her deep, cerulean orbs lovingly and kissing her tenderly on the lips. He wouldn't be the only brother who ever kissed a sister on the lips. And he was careful to make it not seem too sexual. That way, if someone there knew that they were related, it wouldn't seem too strange. They would just seem like very close siblings.
"You'll do great here." Lincoln said gently. Lucy blushed, smiling weakly at him.
"Do you really think so?"
"No…" He said, pausing at first. Lucy looked devastated, like she was about to cry. "I know so. You're so talented, you're so passionate… Not everyone can see your passion, but it's there, and I've seen it. I know you're going to blow these goths and hipsters away with your poetry." He said.
She smiled and headed into the club. Lincoln followed after her, taking a seat and getting some tea. He never liked coffee, and even though the club was filled with the scents of a dozen or more kinds of coffee, he still enjoyed his tea, waiting for Lucy to come on. There was a mime act, there was poetry and short story reading. There was acting and comedy.
Finally, Lucy came on and read a long, powerful poem about a silver haired angel who came down and showed her that true love could be found, even by the most hardened hearts. The protagonist's relationship with the angel was frowned upon by both humans and the Heavenly Host, and everyone tried to break them up. But in the end, their love persevered, and they became immortalized in nature itself, becoming two mountains, standing tall and proud next to each other forevermore.
Lincoln was sure that anyone who wasn't "in" on Lucy's deepest secrets wouldn't know that she was talking about his and her relationship. Once she was done, she left the stage and made way for the next performer. She immediately went down to Lincoln's table and sat on his lap, wrapping her arms around him, blushing slightly. She always was able to read her poems out loud, but this one was so personal, so intimate that she had trouble keeping up her confidence to do it.
"You did great, Luce… I'm so proud of you." Lincoln whispered, kissing her on the cheek, causing his younger sister to blush slightly. Lucy trembled slightly, leaning in to kiss Lincoln on the lips, to claim his lips passionately and with as much finesse as she could manage… But since Lincoln was the first boy she'd ever kissed, she knew she probably wasn't very good, and couldn't satisfy his needs. She didn't blame him for not wanting to be with only her.
She knew she couldn't tell him that, though. He loved both of them equally. He told her so himself. Lincoln would never lie to her. And the last thing she wanted to do was hurt Lincoln. So she would never try to come between him and Girl Jordan, and if he ended up choosing Jordan over her, she would try to be happy for him that he found someone he loved so much. She would be heartbroken, but she would understand… because she had never been good enough for Lincoln.
He was perfect, and she was just some creepy, short goth waist deep in dark magic and fake blood. Lincoln lifted Lucy into his arms and kissed her on the lips. He didn't do it for too long. Just long enough to cause her to blush. Then he took her out of the club and walked to the park with her. When they got there, he sat down under a tree and she sat on his lap.
"There's something worrying you, Luce… What's up?" Lincoln asked, staring at her with such love and such empathy that Lucy's heart melted.
"I-it's nothing… You shouldn't worry about it." Lucy muttered.
"Please tell me? I'm your boyfriend. Of course I'll be worried if you're hurting."
"I… I'm worried I'm not good enough for you… I've never even kissed someone before you. I want to be able to be the girlfriend you want me to be, but I'm scared I can't satisfy your needs. I know that Girl Jordan is a far better girlfriend than I could ever be, and I'm afraid that you'll start resenting me for not being able to give you what you need from me. What if I'm a bad lover? What if I can't pleasure you? What if…"
"Lucy…" Lincoln said, kissing Lucy tenderly on the lips, his face turning a faint pink as he pulled away, his eyes glazed with love and attraction to Lucy. He sighed happily as he pulled away from her, gently stroking her cheek.
"That was perfect, Luce…" He whispered. "You have nothing to worry about. I could never resent you. And you're perfect just the way you are." He said. Lucy blushed, smiling nervously.
"Thank you, Lincoln… I-I'll understand if you choose Girl Jordan over me someday, though. She's beautiful, she's probably a great kisser and I hear you two when you're… Together… I'm sure I could never make you feel that good…" Lucy muttered, her shoulders shaking with tears.
"Oh… Y-you heard that, huh?" Lincoln asked, blushing slightly. Somehow, the idea that someone had been listening was kind of… Exciting…
"Well, everyone… In a family of thirteen, I suppose it's unavoidable that at least one member will end up being a deviant… I just wish it wasn't me." Lincoln said, turning to the audience.
"What?"
"Oh… Sometimes talking to the Fourth Wall makes me feel better… Not this time, though…"
"Lincoln… You're not a deviant… It's alright to get excited by something a little unusual… I'd do anything for you… If you want me to watch while you and Jordan make love, I will…" Lucy whispered. Lincoln turned a deep shade of pink.
"Lucy… I appreciate that… But I don't want you to do something you're not comfortable with. You're more than welcome to join us if you want… Or not. You have to do what makes you feel right."
"But… Don't all boys want a threesome… Isn't that a fetish for boys?"
"Some boys… I'm happy to do that with you if that's what you want… But I don't want you to do something you're uncomfortable with. And I know that Girl Jordan wouldn't want you to either."
"Thank you, Lincoln. W-would you make love to me tonight, Lincoln?"
"I'll make sure to get some condoms." Lincoln said.
"I'm on the pill… You can do me raw if you want. I know you'll feel it more if you do."
"Well… Yeah, but… I don't wanna risk getting you pregnant." Lincoln said guiltily. Lucy smiled darkly.
"If it's you, I don't mind getting pregnant." Lucy said, her smile widening. She already had names planned for their children.
"But I'm not okay with it. Lucy… You're thirteen and I'm sixteen. Neither of us are ready to even move out of the house, much less be parents. Please, promise me you're really on the pill. I need you to look me in the eyes and tell me you're taking precautions." Lincoln said, holding Lucy's arms and looking into her eyes. Lucy blushed. She loved Lincoln's eyes. They were the most beautiful shade of pale blue. She found herself struck silent for a moment, blushing.
"I promise…" Lucy gasped. She would never lie to him. She had been taking the pill for over a week, as she had promised herself almost three weeks ago that she would finally confess to Lincoln. It didn't happen until just a few days ago. But she had been dosing up on birth control in case it happened. She would have been pretty happy even if all Lincoln wanted from her was sex… or at least, that's what she told herself. She knew that alone wouldn't satisfy her.
But she convinced herself that it was the most she could have hoped for. So when Lincoln told her how strongly he felt about her, she was really blown away. Lincoln kissed her warmly on the lips, his eyes closing and wrapping his arm around her waist.
"You're so beautiful, Luce…" He whispered to her. Lucy sighed happily.
"Oh, Lincoln…" Lucy moaned, gasping as he kissed her throat gently.
She gasped in pleasure, her eyes closing as her hands closed around the back of Lincoln's head and he continued to kiss her, occasionally nipping her neck and shoulder. He could feel the small goth girl trembling with delight underneath him, his hands sliding over her sides. He could feel Lucy sighing and gasping in pleasure and finally, she shivered even more strongly, her lip trembling, letting out a soft whine as her grip on Lincoln tightened. He let go of her, looking at her in concern.
Had she just had an orgasm? Lucy blushed intensely, tears filling her eyes and looking away in shame. He hadn't meant to go this far. He just kissed her, and his desire for her, his intense attraction and love for her carried him away. He just kept touching her and kissing her. How could he be so selfish? How could he not pay attention to how Lucy was feeling? She must have been terrified, having him touching her like that… How could he have been such a creep? He felt tears stinging his eyes as he thought this.
"Lucy… It's alright… I'm… I'm so sorry I hurt you… I'm sorry I humiliated you in public like."
"It's… Alright. Nobody could see us… And… It felt really good… I never thought anything could feel this amazing. Would you take me home now, Lincoln?" She asked, tears still stinging her eyes as Lincoln lifted her into his arms and carried her home. Lucy held onto Lincoln, nuzzling into his neck lovingly, her eyes closed. He could hear her smelling him and sighing happily.
She loved the way her brother smelled. It always calmed her down. Finally, they got home and Lincoln put Lucy down on his bed and laid down next to her, kissing her tenderly on the head and falling asleep with her in his arms.