TW: Eating Disorders

The house was huge compared to the trailer (yet much smaller than some of the houses a neighborhood down). The two-story home was white with black shutters and a decorative fence surrounding the nicely trimmed front lawn. Perfectly groomed pink rose bushes stood on either side of the front entrance.

Inside was just as neat and tidy with squishy soft carpet, none of that scratchy low pile stuff the trailer had. A central air conditioning unit hummed through the house, the air comfortably cool as opposed to the oppressive heat outside as well as inside the trailer. He was shocked and a bit confused to find out they had two living rooms - one more formal than the other. One had a large television set while the other one didn't. One had a comfy couch and a low coffee table, the other had two upright chairs, and a square table in between. Bookshelves lined the walls.

There were also two sets of stairs leading to the bedrooms upstairs. One in the back of the house and one to the left of the front entrance. Chrissy's bedroom was last on the left of a long hallway. Slowly she was emptying her room and filling up Eddie's and wanted to grab a few more things so, after an awkward greeting from her mother, he followed Chrissy into her room.

He plopped down on her bed, pulling a pink stuffed animal from a small pile tucked into the corner between the mattress and the wall. She sat next to him chewing her bottom lip, looking around the room, her mind was wandering. It was obvious she wasn't comfortable here in the house she grew up in. Or, maybe more accurately, she wasn't comfortable having Eddie there.

He bopped her on the head with the stuffed animal. "What the hell is this? A bear?" He asked.

She smiled and took it from him. "This is a cat," she corrected. "But I can see how you get the two mixed up," she teased, managing a giggle. He relaxed a little at the sound of her laugh.

"What's its name?" He asked. When she didn't say anything, only shrugging her shoulders, he took it from her again and balanced it on his head, its long legs falling on each side of his face - anything to make her smile again. "Come on, I know you name everything." Just like the bear on his bed back home was named Fred.

"Whiskers," she smiled wistfully. "She's been with me since my seventh birthday."

"Whiskers? Well, that's original." He leaned forward and her smile landed on her lips.

They weren't allowed to be alone in her room for very long and weren't allowed to have the door shut. Eddie didn't care, he'd abide by their silly rules if it meant it kept the peace. He didn't need to push their boundaries when he'd have Chrissy all to himself at the trailer in a few hours. He cut the kiss short, it didn't take much for it to lead to other things. He stood and paced around the room. Taking in who Chrissy used to be. The walls were painted innocent pink and cheery yellow, evidence of the little girl she had been. And then as she grew, a few posters of bands she liked were tacked to the wall, Metallica included.

A desk with a mirror and different paraphernalia scattered across it. Make-up, nail polish, a hair brush, and scrunchies. Her Pom Poms hung on the wall by a string along with a famed picture of her and the cheer team. Taped to a mirror there was a photo of her, much younger, holding a bundle in a blue blanket that must have been Kaleb. She smiled proudly into the camera, braces flashing. There was a photo of her and some old friends from school he knew she didn't talk to much anymore.

Also, stuck in between the mirror and the frame was a polaroid photo of her and Robin and him and Steve. It was taken at night earlier in the summer, they all wore jackets or hoodies to ward off the spring chill. The flash washed them out, making the background appear pitch black. He noticed the room lacked any photos of Jason. Surely, at one point, she had to have displayed pictures of him. He took small comfort in knowing she'd taken them down. And hopefully burned them.

A pair of pointe shoes hung from the corner of the trim of the closet doors. He lifted a finger and knocked a shoe lightly. The pale pink fabric was scuffed and worn thin. "You're a ballerina?"

She was leaning back on her bed, watching him with inquisitive, tired eyes. She nodded. "Yeah. Well, I used to be." She rolled her eyes. "Thought I wanted to be a professional. Small town girl makes it big 'n all that."

"No shit?" He didn't know this about her. It had him wondering how many other things he didn't know. "Why'd you quit?"

She shrugged and sat up, leaning her back against the wall. She stuck out her leg and pointed to a raised white line above her bare ankle. Then pointed to her big toe which was slightly crooked. "It's kind of hard on your body. I broke my ankle and the break made it weak. Then I started high school and other things caught my attention. Cheer and Jason. He didn't like it… the ballet stuff. He said it was just a dream and that college was a better, more realistic choice."

"You gave up just about everything for him," he said quietly. Sadly.

She looked at the pointe shoes, then at Eddie. "It's not all on him. He wasn't entirely wrong."

He wasn't so sure about that. The way he saw it, Jason was a predator. Jason saw a girl that wanted nothing more than to be loved and would do just about anything for that love. He had preyed on her.

Dinner was bland baked chicken breasts, a side of green beans, and a salad. Along with a heaping serving of silence from Laura and Phillip.

Kaleb lightened the mood by talking animately about his swimming practices and how he was working on diving and was hoping to join the swimming team in the fall. Chrissy had made a promise to help him earlier in the summer but hadn't had the chance to since she was now practically living at Eddie's and working at the store.

"Will you help me tonight?" He asked eagerly. "I want to show you my new techniques." The boy placed his hands together and pretended to dive.

She looked hesitantly at Eddie, knowing he'd probably want to leave as soon as possible. But Kaleb's blue eyes were so full of hope, Eddie couldn't help but chime in, telling Chrissy, "I think you better, wouldn't want to miss out on his smooth moves." This earned a big smile from Kaleb and a disapproving scowl from Laura.

The idea had been to have dinner and cut out as quickly as possible. If Kaleb wanted her help, he wasn't going to interfere. He, and of course Kaleb, were happy when she agreed to help him after dinner.

"So, Eddie." Laura finally spoke to him, sadly changing the subject from swimming. "Chrissy says you're looking for work."

Suddenly everyone's eyes were on him and Chrissy's head shot up from her plate. She'd told her mother he was looking for work when she kept pestering her, wondering what he did all day. She couldn't rightfully tell her he was a dealer so she had told him he was in between jobs. "Uh yeah, I got an interview at the plant next week."

"The plant?" Laura asked, masked disdain hidden in her clipped tone. "Is that what you want to do with your life?"

"We'll, uh. No. But it's served my uncle well enough for the last twenty years. If it's good enough for him, it's good enough for me."

"And that's your goal in life? Good enough?' Laura asked, lightly dabbing her mouth with a cloth napkin, taking a sip of wine from the tall glass.

"Mother," Chrissy hissed out a warning.

"It's okay, Chrissy," he assured, lightly squeezing her thigh under the table. To Laura, he said, "I'm just dealing with what life has to offer me." Dealing. He hadn't meant it to be the double entendre it was. He would have laughed if it wasn't the perfectly wrong time.

"And what has life offered you, other than an interview at the plant?" This was from Phillip. The first time he'd spoken throughout the meal.

Chrissy, whether she realized it or not, was white-knuckling her fork, watching helplessly as the conversation played out.

"Not much. Not a whole lot of appealing options out there," he answered. Of all the things he was, he was not a liar. He wouldn't sugarcoat anything to make the Cunninghams feel better about him. "I'm just trying to do my best for us."

"Us?" Larua asked.

"Yeah, me and Chrissy." It was like they hadn't thought of Eddie and Chrissy as a couple yet. That they were just, what? Friends living together?

"And working at a factory is doing your best?" Laura asked, she was cutting the rest of her chicken into tiny little pieces. She was probably imagining he was the chicken.

"It's honest work." Less dangerous than selling drugs, but he wasn't going to share that with them. "If working there is what it takes to create a life for us then, yes, it'd call it doing my best," he said with a smile, handling their cutdowns disguised as curiosity about his life smoothly. His gaze met Chrissy's. Her eyes were shiny with unshed tears and she smiled at him like she was proud. A white warmth washed over him - he must have said the right thing.

While Chrissy changed in her bathing suit, Eddie snuck out the back door that led to the backyard and pool. It was more pool than a yard. Underground and probably eight feet deep at the deep end with concrete surrounding it. A few deck chairs and a table with an umbrella were set up between the house and the pool. "So this is how the other half lives," he mumbled to himself.

He rounded the fence that bordered the backyard. The other side was a construction zone. The frame of a house stood in the middle of the lot. He flicked a cigarette to his mouth and lit it, taking a deep breath. He hadn't realized how tense his shoulders and neck were until the nicotine hit his system, winding its way through his lungs and back out of his mouth.

If nagging was an Olympic sport Laura Cunningham would have the gold medal. Not that he had anything to compare her to, but he was sure moms weren't supposed to be so critical of their children. It took her all of five seconds before she commented on Chrissy's nail polish. It was chipping and her nails bit down to the quick. According to Laura, not only was it an ugly color (a dark purple that she and Robin had taken turns brushing onto their finger and toenails) it was also a disgusting habit to chew your nails.

Laura said this in a joking tone, he saw the way it made Chrissy bristle. He wanted to ask who the fuck cares what she does with her nails? Somehow he restrained himself. Jesus. If this was what it was like to have a mom around, he was sure he'd gotten lucky his mom took off.

He was halfway through the cigarette when he heard Kaleb yell Cannon Ball! Followed by the smack of a body against flat water.

Chrissy laughed as the spring to the back door squeaked closed. "Is that your diving technique," she asked. "I give it a nine and a half!"

The door squeaked again and he could tell by the judgmental silence that followed it was Laura. Through the space between the cracks, he saw her sitting on the edge of a deck chair watching as Chrissy instructed Kaleb. She almost looked happy while watching her children, something close to a smile curved her thin lips.

Deciding he didn't want to make small talk with Laura and also didn't want Chrissy to feel rushed if he was sitting on the edge of the pool waiting for her to finish up, he lit another smoke and slid down. Sitting on the dirt with his back against the fence.

"Yeah, that's it. You're doing really good," Chrissy cheered Kaleb on.

At a point, they must have begun playing around because he heard a few splashes and Kaleb laughing and Chrissy squealing. It made him smile. At least she had a good relationship with Kaleb, if not her own parents. He wondered, not for the first time if he had any half-siblings out there. Growing up in a trailer park, there were always other kids to pal around with. But then when the street lights came on and it was time to go home, it made him a little sad, going home by himself. From time to time he had wished he had a sibling.

"Don't get the deck all wet," Laura chided. He rolled his eyes. What was the point of having a concrete deck next to the pool if not to absorb the water?

"Bet you can't do a cannonball off the diving board," Kaleb jeered at his sister.

"Pa-ha!" She scoffed. Eddie could hear her smile - if being able to hear someone smile was a thing. "Bet you five dollars I can."

"You're on," Kaleb said and Chrissy must have gotten out of the pool. He heard the splash of water dripping on the concrete. The slap of her wet feet.

Then the creek of the diving board, once and then twice, and then a big splash. Chrissy laughed as she resurfaced and Kaleb cheered, though he'd just lost his five dollars.

As though she couldn't let anyone have any fun, Larua interrupted, "Time to get out. You've got an early practice in the morning, Kaleb."

"Aw, Mom. Just a few minutes more."

"No," she said and that must have been that. Eddie heard them get out of the water. Imagined they were wrapping themselves in white fluffy towels.

Laura spoke up again. "Chrissy, is that an older bathing suit?"

Obviously puzzled, she answered, "No. I bought it earlier in the year. For our Florida trip in January. You were there when I bought it." She laughed uncomfortably.

Eddie had caught a glimpse of her when he looked through the fence. It was a pink two-piece cut high on her hips. Spaghetti straps tied at the back of her neck, and triangles of fabric covered her breasts. It wasn't what he thought of as revealing. If anyone asked him, she looked hot. She kept a similar one at his house for when she and Robin went to the lake.

"It's just so… much smaller on you than it was in January." Then Laura whispered loudly. "You've really put on a few pounds."

His head shot up and his hand, cigarette burning between his fingers, stalled halfway to his mouth. It was no secret Chrissy lacked confidence where her body was concerned. She still tried to hide away from him if she was naked, preferring to have sex in the dim light of the moon or yard light filtering through the towel-curtained window. She often asked if an outfit was too tight, or if it made her look fat. Which was ridiculous, she was probably ninety-five pounds soaking wet. And even if she had gained weight, which would have been no big deal, he hadn't noticed.

To him, she was the most beautiful girl. Not just her body, but her mind as well. She was smart, kind, and patient. Caring. All the things he knew he didn't deserve in a girlfriend. Yet, here she was getting berated for allegedly gaining a few pounds. It made his face flush with anger, made his shoulders tense all over again. It took everything he had to stay put and not interfere.

"Oh. Umm, maybe." Chrissy was no longer loud and boisterous as she had been with Kaleb. Her voice trembled like she was seconds from crying.

"You'll want to get a handle on that," Laura suggested as though her words were helpful. "It's easy to gain five pounds, then ten, then before you know it…"

"Yes, Mother. I know," Chrissy said sharply. "I'll handle it."

After Laura and Kaleb left the back patio he slunk back inside. He wasn't trying to be sneaky but he didn't want to talk to anyone. Phillip was asleep in a recliner in front of the television, snoring lightly. Laura and Kaleb weren't anywhere in sight though he heard their muffled voices in another part of the house. He went up the back stairway to Chrissy's room. He found her in the bathroom that adjoined her bedroom.

Through the door, he heard retching and gagging. It was Chrissy and she apparently wasn't feeling well. Just as quickly as that thought came and went, it struck him this had nothing to do with physically not feeling well and everything to do with what Laura had said to her. Her demand for perfectionism. Good grades, the cheer team, the perfect boyfriend. Fucking ballet.

He waited a moment, unsure what to do. Did she want to be left alone? He didn't want to leave her alone. There was a pause and then the toilet flushed, the faucet turned on. He knocked once. "Hey, you all right?"

"Yeah. Yes, I'm… fine."

She didn't sound fine. She sniffled. Her muffled voice wobbly with tears. She'd obviously been crying. Probably still was. "Uh, you sure?" The last thing she needed was another person nagging, but he couldn't leave her. He leaned his forehead against the door, feeling like a useless fuckup. This was uncharted territory. Music, yes. Dungeon and Dragons, yes. Relationships were a big fat no.

"Please, just leave me alone." She sobbed, her throat hitching.

"Chrissy, uh, no. No, I won't leave you alone. I understand if you don't want me coming in but I'll wait here." He paused. "I'm not going anywhere."

"I don't want you to see me like this," she whimpered. "I'm a mess."

"Your mess won't scare me off," he assured. "Remember how fucked up I was at the hospital? Remember right after I woke up and I freaked out? You were right there with me. Didn't turn your back on me and I'm not gonna turn my back on you now."

After a moment the lock clicked and when he tried the knob it turned. Chrissy stood at the sink, grasping the edges of the white porcelain. She was still in her bathing suit but had pulled a t-shirt over it. It was soaked through. Her hair had been pulled up in a high ponytail and was now falling out of the tie in damp tendrils. Her forehead was beaded with sweat, not pool water.

"What's going on, babe?" he asked, stepping into the bathroom.

She held up a hand before he got too close. "Please don't… don't touch me." Her words stung, she'd never rebuffed him before. Calculating everything that had happened tonight, and throughout her life, something told him it probably wasn't about him.

Still, he'd abide by her wishes. "Okay. But you gotta talk to me. I need to know if you're okay."

"Do I look okay?" She snapped. She stepped away from the sink and further away from Eddie, backing herself into the tiled wall. "Oh my God." Her hands covered her mouth. "I'm so sorry Eddie." She closed her eyes, the tears still falling. She tried - unsuccessfully - to stifle another sob.

"It's okay," he whispered. "It's okay." He tentatively grasped her elbow lightly. He was afraid if he didn't brace her, she'd fall.

She sank to her knees and he went with her. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," she apologized again.

"For what? You don't have any reason to apologize." He ached for her and wanted to make it, whatever it is, all better. More than he ever wanted anything else.

Her eyes slowly met his. Long lashes damp and dark, eyes sad and serious. She spoke through clenched teeth. "Now you know my secret. Now you know I'm a fake. Now you know what a fuckup I really am."

Ugh, sorry for the bummer of a chapter. Hope you'll continue to read it. Leave a comment. I like to know what you all are thinking about the story.