Author's note: So humbled by all the love guys! Thank you so much! I debated on adding this episode because in order to fit in with Emily and her story it was going to have to be an emotional chapter, but I hate to throw too much emotion out too soon in the story. I don't want her to come off as whiny, but with Dean dying you can't expect her to take things lightly. Hope you guys enjoy the chapter! I did enjoy writing it!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but Emily.

"Emily I'm not gonna repeat myself again. You stay behind me or Sam, you are NOT to take off once we get in here."

"Dean its just a rawhead! I think I can handle it just fine thanks! I probably don't even need you two here right now, I could do this one on my own. So get off my ass and let me be a hunter!" I said before stomping to the trunk of the impala.

Dean scoffed and followed right behind me, "Yeah. Right. You'd get yourself killed is what'd you do. You've been wreckless lately. I don't know what the hell your problem is but you better get that shit in check."

"Sam will you please tell YOUR brother to get off my ass!" I yelled refusing to look at Dean or even acknowledge his presence anymore.

"I'm not getting anywhere near this Emily. You two need to suck it up, we've got a job to do." Sam said flatly before handing us each a taser and walking into the large empty warehouse.

It was pitch black, this place hasn't had any power running to it in years it seems. Suddenly we heard faint wimpers close by, I raised my flashlight and found an old metal filing cabinet. I tapped Sam and pointed it out to him, he nodded and I followed behind him with Dean right behind me.

Sam got closer and closer, giving us a look as if counting to three silently. When he ripped the door open there were cries, two kids were huddled together inside, obviously hiding from the monster.

"Hey hey hey… it's okay. We won't hurt you." Sam quickly dropped his gun and leaned down to comfort them, coaxing them out of the cabinet. We began walking them back to the impala when I heard it. Its coming. I quickly spun around, Dean must have heard it as well.

Before Dean could take lead I quickly spoke up, "Get them out of here, I'm going after it." I began to jog quietly down the hallway, I could hear Dean yelling at me from behind.

"Dammit Emily! NO! Stop!" but I didn't listen. I'm gonna show his ass I'm perfectly capable of handling a monster on my own. I'm 16. Dean was taking down monsters at 16 with no problem.

I crept around the corner to an open room, not sure of where the rawhead went, but I know its back here somewhere.

Suddenly something smacked me from the side sending me into a support beam in the middle of the room. I hit it with a thud and fell to the ground.

"Emily!" Dean yelled for me.

I quickly scrambled and grabbed my taser, taking aim. SHIT! I missed. These are one shot only. The monster turned to Dean and threw him into a puddle, he was laying there watching the monster run at me claws ready, when I met Dean's eyes I realized what he was going to do.

"No Dean don't!" but he fired anyways, stopping the rawhead in its tracks, you could see the electricity roll through not only it but Dean as well. Suddenly it stopped and I jumped to my feet running to Dean.

"Dean! Dean! Wake up Dean!" I cried slapping his face, he was still. I couldn't even tell if he was breathing. I frantically searched for a pulse and found it to be very weak.

"Sam!" I screamed out. "Sam! Please! Help!"

I heard footsteps charging down the hall, when he got to us I was a blubbering mess and Dean was still unconscious- his head on my lap as I sat in the puddle.

"Sam please… he took the shot. It shocked him! He won't wake up!" Sam looked panic but kicked into big brother mode.

"Emily go pull the car around to the closest door. NOW! Go!" Sam said handing me the keys and then lifting Dean. I took off full speed soaking wet and pulled the impala around right next to the door we came in, Sam met me there and laid Dean in the back seat, the two children in the front, and I took my place next to Dean.

I pulled his head into my lap and stroked his hair, begging him to wake up.

"Just hold onto him Emily, we're only 5 minutes away from a hospital." Sam said punching the gas. He knew this was bad… Dean's hurt bad, and it's all my fault. Why did I have to pick another fight, why did I have to get so cocky, why couldn't I just listen to him. I'm so fucking stupid!

I leaned my forehead down on his as the tears rolled down. I kept one hand on each side of his face and began to sing quietly to him….

"Hey Jude, don't make it bad…Take a sad song and make it better." I sniffled as my voice broke.

"Remember to let her into your heart…Then you can start to make it better"

"Hey Jude, don't be afraid…You were made to go out and get her.." I could barely move the words past the lump in my throat. It was tight and It hurt.

"The minute you let her under your skin.. Then you begin to make it better"

We pulled into the hospital and told the children to go find a nurse to call their families. Sam lifted Dean and we pushed through the ER doors screaming for help. They quickly had Dean on a gurney and wheeled him away from us… away from me. All I could do was watch.

Sam was standing behind me and quickly wrapped both arms around my body as I began to sob, slowly falling to the floor. He held me up and tried to shh my cries but it was a pointless attempt and he knew that.

Its been two hours now that I've sat in this chair and not moved, not talked, not cried, not blinked it felt like. The guilt literally filled every inch of my body, head to toe- making waves in my stomach. Sam had filled out paper after paper, when the cops came to question us I couldn't speak. Sam covered for us. I paid no attention so I couldn't begin to tell you what he said, but I'm sure it was something smart.

Finally a doctor walked over, "Winchester Family?" He asked looking around. For the first time I stood up, Sam right behind me, hands on my shoulders.

"Hey, Doc. Is he..." Sam asked afraid to finish the question. I couldn't breathe waiting for the reply.

"He's resting."

"And?" I quickly asked.

"The electrocution triggered a heart attack. Pretty massive, I'm afraid. His heart...it's damaged." Oh god… no. I did this. My heart felt like an anvil sitting in my chest. It was cracking with every word that fell out of the doctor's mouth.

"How damaged?" Sam asked him.

"We've done all we can. We can try and keep him comfortable at this point. But, I'd give him a couple weeks, at most, maybe a month.

"No, no. There's, there's...gotta be something you can do, some kind of treatment." I quickly said, unable to believe the words coming out of his mouth. No. Dean can't die.

"We can't work miracles. I really am sorry."

"The hell you are!" I yelled at him.

"Emily stop.." Sam warned me, I ripped from his grip and started jogging down the hall to look for Dean.

"Maam wait! He needs to rest!" the doctor called after me. Fuck him. I'm seeing my brother!

When I rounded a corner and spotted his name on the side of the door I stopped, trying to prepare myself to walk in, I wasn't sure what to expect. As I got closer I could hear the noises from the TV but I couldn't really comprehend anything it was saying.

I came to the doorway and froze. Dean…. My Dean… He was so pale. He looked so broken. So weak. What have I done?

The tears in my eyes welled and spilled over slowly one at a time. Dean coughed and you could tell it hurt his whole body, he finally turned his head enough to notice me standing there.

"Dean…" I whispered.

He looked down before looking back up and speaking again, "Come here kiddo, I'm cold." He patted on the bed next to him.

I slowly walked forward, losing my composure with every step. When I finally reached his bed he pushed over to the side and pulled me to lay down against him. I buried my face in his neck and sobbed.

"D-Dean… I-I'm I.. So-o Sorr-ry" the words were barely comprehensible.

"Emily hunny its not your fault. Shit happens on this job." He tried to comfort me but I knew better.

"N-No… I-I-I should ha-have listen-ed-ed"

"Shhh.. calm down baby… you gotta breathe." He was right, I could feel my chest tightening, I wasn't getting enough air in, the sobs preventing me from taking in a deep enough breath. But I didn't care. I didn't deserve to breathe. Look what I've done... to Dean of all people.

It seemed like we layed there for several minutes, me soaking the top of his shirt and his cheek when he layed his head against mine. He was being too nice to me… he should be angry. He should kick me out. He should hate me. I hate me. But instead he rocked me back and forth… whispering to me to breathe. I was finally calming down, but couldn't pull myself away from his neck. I couldn't look at him. He rubbed my arm up and down with the tips of his fingers, and then I heard another voice. Sam… no telling how long he's been standing there.

"I talked to your doctor."

"Have you ever actually watched daytime TV? It's terrible."

Sam was silent for a second, I'm sure he was shaking his head at Dean trying to lighten the mood.

"That fabric softener teddy bear. Oh, I'm gonna hunt that little bitch down."

"Dean." Sam said… Dean quickly turned off the TV.

"Yeah. All right, well, looks like you two are gonna leave town without me." The words made me grip onto him even tighter, he squeezed me back subtly.

"What are you talking about? I'm not gonna leave you here."

"Hey, you better take care of that car. Or, I swear, I'll haunt your ass."

"I don't think that's funny." Me either.

"Oh, come on, it's a little funny." Dean tried. No. Its not actually.

Sam was silent again, I couldn't imagine the look on his face. I couldn't stand to look at him either. Knowing I was causing him pain by putting Dean here.

"Look, Sammy, what can I say, man, it's a dangerous gig. I drew the short straw. That's it, end of story."

"Don't talk like that, alright? We still have options."

"What options? Yeah, burial or cremation. And I know it's not easy. But I'm gonna die. And you can't stop it."

"Dean… stop.." I pleaded in a whisper. Starting to feel the tears come back.

"Watch me." Sam said, then I heard heavy footsteps getting quieter and quieter as he walked away.

The nurse came to check on Dean, but he didn't move me. He just held me there, letting her work around us as she checked the wires connected to his chest.

After a while I felt Dean drift off to sleep. I was absent mindedly drawing circles on the back of the hand he had laying on his stomach. Humming Hey Jude, I'm not sure why. But It seemed fitting at the time. Dean said Mom would sing it when he was sick… well I don't think you get much sicker than this. Plus it distracted me from the guilt I felt.

"Are you singing to me?" he suddenly asked so low It was hardly a whisper.

"I'm sorry… I thought you were asleep."

"Its okay. I don't mind…. My arm is falling asleep though." He said with a chuckle. I lifted off of it and moved to sit cross legged at the end of his bed, giving him room to lay down at the top of the bed and take the pressure off his shoulder that he'd been laying on since I came in.

I stared down at the blue heavy blanket that sat on top his feet in my lap.

"Emily… look at me." Dean asked.

"I can't…"

"Em. This wasn't your fault." I flinched at the words. I knew he was lying.

"Dean.. I"… I swallowed hard to try to get words up around the lump. "I should have listened to you. I should have fell back and let you take lead… I missed the shot." I finally looked up to him again. "Dean this is all my fault. I'm so so sorry."

"Emily stop this. You can't do that to yourself. You and I both know you could have just as easily taken that bitch down on your own. You're a good hunter, a great hunter! It was just a bad luck of the draw. It was gonna be me or you, and I couldn't live with knowing I couldn't save you. You know that Emily." He told me without a trace of doubt on his face.

I stayed silent unsure of what to say. No matter what he said I would always blame myself for this, and he knew that.

"Kiddo…. I think we need to tell Sam." What? My eyes flew to him in confusion.

"What are you talking about?"

"Emily you need to tell him what happened. He needs to know. I'm not gonna be here to help calm you down anymore. Sam needs to learn how. I can't leave you to fight that alone, you should tell him. Let him help you."

I looked at him like he suddenly grew a third eye or something…"No.. Dean. No." I shook my head getting off the bed and pacing at the end of it. I can't. I can't live without Dean. I've just gotta find a way to save him. I… I gotta save him. I have to fix this.

"Em."

"No! Dean! No! Okay I'm not gonna let you die… and we aren't telling Sam. So don't even think about it. You don't need to show him anything, because your gonna be there to handle it yourself. You and me remember? You promised!" I got louder as I went and could feel a fresh tear fall.

Dean just watched me, his expression was killing me. He looked so… hurt. I can't.. I need to leave. I gotta get out of here and find a way to save him. I looked to my feet.

"I'm uh.. I'm gonna go and catch up to Sam. He's gonna need help." I looked up at him. "I put you here Dean.." He looked like was about to argue, I put up a hand to stop him. "Regardless of whatever you're fixing to say- I know better. It was my fault. I made poor decisions and I got you hurt. I'm going to fix it De. I'm gonna fix you okay? Just like you always fix me."

He hung his head biting at his lip, he looked back up to me. "Okay kiddo…"

I walked over and hugged him to me tightly. He returned it. When he let go I kissed his cheek and turned to leave. I got to the lobby and called Sam to pick me up, he wasn't far away thankfully.

Its been hours and hours. So far we have found NOTHING.

"Sam… I'm gonna get some air."

"Okay kiddo, don't go far." Normally I would use that to start some argument about not being a little kid anymore, but I know Sam wanted to keep me close with the Dean thing going on.

"I won't. Promise" I gave him a small smile before walking out.

When I went out the door the cool air brushed against my cheeks and it felt nice, I breathed it in deeply, holding it and then breathing it out through pursed lips. I started to walk. I'm not sure where I was going, I just needed to move, to do something. I found a quiet spot in an empty field not far from the motel. I perched myself on top of the wooden fence surrounding it.

I pulled out my phone and dialed the one person who I really needed… 4 rings and I get his voicemail. "Daddy…." Just saying his name was causing the lump to grow and my voice to crack. "Daddy it's Dean. He's hurt real bad… The doctors.. They're not gonna do anything. Daddy I'm trying really hard to fix it… Its all my fault Daddy.." I cried into the recording. "Daddy please come.. We need you, Dean needs you.. I need you Daddy.. I don't know what to do. I have to save him Daddy… please. Help me. I'm so sorry for what I said.. Please just forgive me and come save Dean Daddy… I need him. Please.." I hung up as another wave of sobs took over my body. I'm not sure how I had anything left. I've never cried this much in my whole life. When do the tears finally stop? I'm not used to being so weak, so vulnerable- and I hate it.

An hour later I walked back into the motel room, meeting Sam's eyes. He looked at me with eyes that were so broken, I couldn't stop myself from running into his arms. He sat us down in the chair and pulled me onto his lap sideways. He wrapped his arms around me and we both cried.

"We're gonna save him Em. You'll see… We're gonna save him" He said to reassure himself as much as me.

"Sammy… its all my fault."

"No babygirl… its not.. Its not your fault."

"I can't let him die Sammy… I can't.. I need him" I cried into Sam's chest. Dammit. Again with the crying. Make it stop!

"Shh… Shhhh… I'm not gonna let him die Emily. I promise you."

I slowly shook my head up and down and began to doze off in Sam's arms. I was so exhausted, not just physically but mentally. I felt like I had nothing left in me. I hiccupped from the sobs until I finally drifted against Sam's warm chest.

The next morning a knock at the door startled me awake. Me and Sam were still sitting in the chair, he dozed off with his head layed on top of mine, he better not have drooled in my hair. The knocking came again, harder this time.

"Sammy…" I shook him awake, "the door."

He lifted his head and rubbed his eyes, I slid off his lap and stretched as I walked over to the door.

I swung it open, "Dean? What are you doing here?"

"I checked myself out." He said barely able to hold his own weight up, I quickly ducked under his shoulder to support him and walked him over to sit in the chair me and Sam slept in.

"What, are you crazy?" Sam asked him.

"Well, I'm not gonna die in a hospital where the nurses aren't even hot." Leave it to Dean to find the humor in the situation.

"You know, this whole I-laugh-in-the-face-of-death thing? It's crap. I can see right through it." Sam said to him accusingly.

"Yeah, whatever, dude. Have you even slept? You look worse than me."

"Yes actually, I got a few hours in that chair as a matter of fact. I've been scouring the Internet. Calling every contact in Dad's journal."

"For what?" Dean asked… I scoffed. Well it should be obvious De. Sometimes he's such a man. Oblivious.

"For a way to help you. One of Dad's friends, Joshua, he called me back. Told me about a guy in Nebraska. A specialist."

"You're not gonna let me die in peace, are you?"

"I'm not gonna let you die, period. We're going." Sam said, leaving no room for Dean to disagree.

We loaded up and made the drive in about 8 hours. When we pulled up to a tent church named after a faith healer I watched Dean's face go from annoyed to angry in 0.2 seconds flat. Too bad, he was gonna have to get over it. I'm desperate enough to try anything and everything.

Dean went to get out of the car and struggled.

"I got ya." Sam said coming around to help him.

"I got it." Dean snapped at him, leaning on the car for support as he pushes Sam away.

"Man, you are a lying bastard! Thought you said we were going to see a doctor."

"I believe I said a specialist. Look, Dean, this guy's supposed to be the real deal."

"I can't believe you brought me here to see some guy who heals people out of a tent."

A small elderly woman walked past with an umbrella, "Reverend LeGrange is a great man." She said.

"Yeah, that's nice." Dean said sarcastically.

I walked up and grabbed his hand in mine, "Dean… please. Let us try." I begged him. He nodded and kept walking.

"I have a right to protest. This man is a fraud. And he's milking all these people out of their hard-earned money." An angry man shouted to a cop as we walked past.

"Sir, this is a place of worship. Let's go. Move it." The cop shoed him away.

"I take it he's not part of the flock." I said.

"When people see something they can't explain, there's controversy." Sam explained.

"I mean, come on, Sam, a faith healer?" Dean asked eyeing Sam.

"Maybe it's time to have a little faith, Dean."

"You know what I've got faith in? Reality. Knowing what's really going on. "

"How can you be a skeptic? With the things we see everyday?" I asked him honestly.

"Exactly. We see them, we know there real."

"But if you know evil's out there, how can you not believe good's out there, too?" I rebuttled without any doubts.

"Because I've seen what evil does to good people."

I just shook my head sadly and kept walking forward, my arm locked into Dean's helping him through the mud that was sticking to our boots.

A pretty woman came up behind us, obviously having heard our conversation.

"Maybe God works in mysterious ways." She offered with a smile as she walked by.

"Maybe he does. I think you just turned me around on the subject." Seriously Dean… Now?

"Yeah, I'm sure." She giggled.

"I'm Dean. This is Sam and Emily."

"Layla. So, if you're not a believer, then why are you here?"

"Well, apparently my siblings here believes enough for all of us."

"Come on, Layla. It's about to start." An older woman said as she ushered Layla inside ahead of us.

"Well, I bet you she can work in some mysterious ways."

"Eww. Dean. Don't say stuff like that in a church!" I reprimanded him slightly slapping his arm.

"Yeah, peace, love, and trust all over." Dean mumbled while pointing out the security cameras to us.

"Come on." Sam said leading us to seats right up front much to Dean's dismay.

"Oh, come on, Sam." Dean growled, then he winced as he went to sit down.

"You alright?"

"This is ridiculous… I'm good, dude, get off me!"

"Dean stop being an ass, he's trying to help!" I whisper yelled to him.

"You take the aisle." Sam said shoving past Dean and sitting me in the middle of them, forcing Dean to sit where he could be very easily seen.

Suddenly a blind man walks up on the stage and begins to speak, "Each morning, my wife, Sue Ann, reads me the news. Never seems good, does it? Seems like there's always someone committing some immoral, unspeakable act. But, I say to you, God is watching. God rewards the good, and He punishes the corrupt. It is the Lord who does the healing here friends. The Lord who guides me in choosing who to heal by helping me see into people's hearts."

"Yeah, and into their wallets." Dean says a little too loud.

"You think so, young man?" Roy says suddenly speaking in our direction. Good job Dean.

"Sorry." He mumbled.

"No, no. Don't be. Just watch what you say around a blind man, we've got real sharp ears." The crowd chuckled and Dean look uncomfortable. I squeezed his hand.

"What's your name, son?"

"Dean."

"Dean. I want-I want you to come up here with me." Suddenly the crowd starts to go crazy, clapping and cheering, shouting Amen.

"No, it's ok." Dean says awkwardly.

"What are you doing?!" I asked forcing him to look at me.

"You've come here to be healed, haven't cha?"

"Well, yeah, but uhh... maybe you should just pick someone else."

"Dean no! Go!" I pleaded him. This may be my own chance to fix this.

"Oh, no. I didn't pick you, Dean, the Lord did." The crowd cheered louder, getting excited.

"That's right! Yeah! Come on!" People around us called out.

"Get up there!" Sam said to him grinning ear to ear.

Dean slowly stood and walked up to the stage… standing in front of Roy looking more uncomfortable then when I bring up sex. Its hard to top that one too.

"You ready?" Roy asks him.

"Look, no disrespect, but ahh, I'm not exactly a believer." Dammit Dean shut up!

"You will be, son. You will be." Roy said with a smile.

"Pray with me, friends." He called out to the crowd. They all lift their hands in the air, Roy does the same before laying a hand on Dean.

Dean almost seems to pull away from his touch but suddenly something begins to happen.

"Alright now. Alright now." Roy says.

Dean's eyes glaze over and he falls to his knees, I panic. "Dean!" I jump to run to him but Sam holds me back.

"Alright, now." Roy says again, before Dean faints and falls to the stage, I broke free of Sam and ran to his side, Sam on my tail. The crowd was cheering, but I was terrified.

"Dean! Dean!" I shook him and tapped his cheeks. Suddenly his eyes open wide and he flys forward gasping for air…

"Say Something!" Sam calls to him.

Dean just stares forward at Roy. Shocked. But I could tell something happened, he was no longer pale. The bags under his eyes vanished. He had strength to hold himself up. He was healed. I knew it. Relief washed through me like a flood after the drought. I welcomed it.

Dean insisted we go directly to the hospital to have tests run on his heart.

"So, you really feel okay?" Sam asks him for the hundredth time, pacing in front of us while I sit next to Dean, my arm locked around his and my head against his shoulder. I know I was being clingy and it was probably annoying but I came so close to losing him. I just wanted him close to me.

"I feel fine, Sam." Dean answered annoyed.

A doctor knocks and enters the room… "Well, according to all your tests there's nothing wrong with your heart. No sign there ever was. Not that a man your age should be having heart trouble, but, still it's strange it does happen."

"What do you mean, strange?"

"Well, just yesterday, a young guy like you, twenty-seven, athletic. Out of nowhere, heart attack."

"Thanks, Doc." I smiled.

" No problem." She walked out.

"That's odd." Dean said looking to me.

"Maybe it's a coincidence. People's hearts give out all the time, man." Sam tried to reason with him.

"No, they don't."

"Look, Dean, do we really have to look this one in the mouth? Why can't we just be thankful that the guy saved your life and move on?"

"Because I can't shake this feeling, that's why."

"What feeling?" I asked him… I can't imagine feeling anything other than relief. I had my Dean back. He was okay. Nothing else in the world mattered to me.

"When I was healed, I just...I felt wrong. I felt cold. And for a second...I saw someone. This, uh, this old man. And I'm telling you guys, it was a spirit."

"But if there was something there, Dean, I think I would've seen it, too. I mean, I've been seeing an awful lot of things lately." Sam argued.

"Well, excuse me, psychic wonder. But you're just gonna need a little faith on this one. Sam, I've been hunting long enough to trust a feeling like this."

Sam sighed… "Yeah, alright. So, what do you wanna do?"

"I want you to go check out the heart attack guy. I'm gonna visit the reverend, I'm guessing the leech on my arm is coming with me." He said eyeing me. I tried to look guilty but I honestly felt no shame. I wasn't letting him out of my sight anytime soon.

When we pulled up to Roy's house I was still unsure of what we were even looking for here. I just sat silently as Roy told us about how his gifts came to be. How they prayed and prayed and God healed him from cancer, but he lost his sight. And then he was suddenly able to heal others. When we made our way out the door we ran into a familiar face. Layla.

"Dean, Emily- hey."

"Hey." Dean replied with a small smile. I simply grinned in her direction.

"How you feeling?"

"I feel good. Cured, I guess. What are you doing here? "

"You know, my mom, she wanted to talk to the reverend." I recognized her mom as the woman from yesterday who ushered her in so quickly.

Sue Ann walks out on the porch.

"Layla?"

"Yes, I'm here again."

"Well, I'm sorry, but Roy is resting. He won't be seeing anyone else right now."

"Sue Ann, please. This is our sixth time, he's got to see us." Layla's mom begged.

"Roy is well aware of Layla's situation. And he very much wants to help just as soon as the Lord allows. Have faith, Mrs. Rourke."

Sue Ann walks inside and you can see the frustration rolling off Layla's mom.

"Why are you still even here? You got what you wanted." She turned to Dean and spat at him.

I Instinctively took a step forward positioning myself in front of him, he seemed shocked at her words.

"Mom. Stop."

"No, Layla, this is too much. We've been to every single service. If Roy would stop choosing these strangers over you. Strangers who don't even believe. I just can't pray any harder."

"I don't necessarily think that's fair of you to lay on my brother, it wasn't his choice." I said growing defensive.

"Emily stop.." Dean laid a hand on my shoulder.. "Layla, what's wrong?"

"I have this thing..."

"It's a brain tumor. It's inoperable. In six months, the doctors say..." Her mom interrupted her, but couldn't finish.

"I'm sorry." Dean said sincerely.

"It's okay." Layla smiled sadly at him.

"No. It isn't." Her mom said glaring at her before turning to Dean again.

"Why do you deserve to live more than my daughter?"

"Okay that's enough lady! You have no idea what my brother sacrifices for other people! He sa-" I said pulling forward from Dean's grip on my shoulder.

"Emily stop!" Dean said grabbing me and pulling me back. "Lets go… Now."

He pushed me back towards the impala. I felt bad for Layla. But her mother had no room to lay that guilt trip down on Dean. She doesn't even understand. Dean saves lives every day. He helps people, he makes the world a better place. Dean matters, how dare she try and belittle him like that.

When we got back to the motel Sam was already there, when we walked inside he looked up. Oh no…. I know that look. This is bad news.

"What'd you find out?" Dean wasted no time asking him.

"I'm sorry." Sam said quietly.

"Sorry about what?"

"Marshall Hall died at 4:17."

Dean froze, "The exact time I was healed."

"Yeah. So, I put together a list of everyone Roy's healed, six people over the past year, and I cross-checked them with the local obits. Every time someone was healed, someone else died. And each time, the victim died of the same symptom LeGrange was healing at the time."

"So Someone's healed of cancer, and then someone else dies of cancer?"

"Somehow. LeGrange...he's trading a life for another." Oh no… Dean is going to blame himself for this.

"Wait, wait, wait. So, Marshall Hall died to save me?"

"Dean, the guy probably would've died anyway. And someone else would've been healed." Sam said visibly upset, he knew exactly where Dean was going as did I.

Dean started to pace, his face getting angry.

"You never should've brought me here."

"Dean, I was just trying to save your life." Sam pleaded almost in tears.

"But, Sam, some guy is dead now because of me!"

"So what!" I suddenly said loudly.

"Excuse me?" Dean asked glaring at me.

"I said so what Dean! You heard Sam! The guy would have died anyways! You know what I don't feel the least bit bad! Dean you were dying! You were already half dead! If I knew the truth I would still drag you out here. People need you Dean! We need you! I needed you! I couldn't let you die!" I screamed at him.

He looked at me with a face full of disappointment. He just shook his head at me… It hurt to watch him. I felt stinging in my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. I've cried enough to last me a life time this week.

"The thing I don't understand is how is Roy doing it? How's he trading a life for a life?" Sam said bringing the conversation back into focus.

"Oh, he's not doing it. Something else is doing it for him."

"What do you mean?"

"The old man I saw on stage… I didn't wanna believe it, but deep down I knew."

"You knew what? What are you talking about?"

"There's only one thing that can give and take life like that."

Me and Sam looked to each other confused… Dean looked to Sam but wouldn't look at me.

"We're dealing with a reaper."

Dean moved to sit down across from Sam at the table. I didn't figure he wanted me close to him at the moment so I kept my distance and leaned against the wall, just listening.

"You really think it's THE Grim Reaper? Like, angel of death, collect your soul, the whole deal?"

"No, no, no, not THE reaper, A reaper. There's reaper law in pretty much every culture on earth, it goes by 100 different names, it's possible that there's more than one of them."

"But you said you saw a dude in a suit."

"What, you think he shoulda been working the whole black robe thing?...You said it yourself that the clock stopped right? Reapers stop time. And you can only see 'em when they're coming at you which is why I could see it and you couldn't."

"Maybe."

"There's nothing else it could be Sam. The question is how is Roy controlling the damn thing?"

"That cross."

"What?"

"There was this cross, I noticed it in the church and I knew I had seen it before."

"Here." Sam said showing him a card.

"A Tarot?"

"It makes sense. A tarot dates back to the early christian era right, when some priests were still using magic? And a few of them veered into the dark stuff? Necromancy and how to push death away, how to cause it?"

"So Roy's using black magic to bind the reaper?"

"If he is he's riding the whirlwind. It's like putting a dog leash on a great white."

"Ok then we stop Roy."

"How?"

"You know how."

"Wait, what the hell are you talking about Dean, we can't kill Roy."

"Sam the guys playing God, he's deciding who lives and who dies. That's a monster in my book."

"No. We're not going to kill a human being Dean. We do that we're no better than he is."

"Ok, we cant kill Roy, we can't kill death. Any bright ideas college boy?"

"Ok. uh...If Roy's using some kind of black spell on the reaper, we gotta...figure out what it is. And how to break it."

"Okay well lets go, I think his next service starts in like 15 minutes." The boys got up and walked towards the door. I motioned to get my jacket, but was stopped by Dean's voice.

"Emily you're staying here." He said still not willing to look at me.

"Dea-"

"End of discussion. Maybe you can rethink what it is we do this job for- Who we do this job for. You oughta have plenty of time to think about it." Dean said walking out, still refusing to look at me.

Sam looked to me with pity before he left closing the door behind him.

I don't get it. Why is this a bad thing?! Someone died. Yes. That sucks, its tragic, but it happens every day! Dean taught me early on that we can't save everyone and civilians die! Dean needed to be saved. He can save more people if he's alive! He can save me… Maybe I am being a little selfish here, but sometimes that's what you do for family. You do the hard things. You always put family first. Dean taught me that too, and now he wants me to feel guilty for following it?

I laid on the bed cranking my iPod. I dozed off but was woken up as I heard footsteps coming in through the door, I would have instinctively gone for my gun but I recognized them, my brothers were heavy footed and walked with a purpose generally.

"Emily. Food." Dean said walking in and tossing the bag down on the table.

"Not hungry…" I said waiting for him to look at me. He wouldn't.

"Too bad. Get up and eat. Now." Right. Cause that attitude makes me wanna jump up and stuff my face. Regardless, I shuffled to the table and picked at my food. Dean sat on his bed. Cleaning weapons.

"So Roy really believes." Sam asked him.

"I don't think he has any idea what his wife's doing."

"Well, I found this… Hidden in their library. It's ancient. Written by a priest who went dark side. There's a binding spell in here for trapping a reaper."

"Must be a hell of a spell."

"Yeah. You gotta build a black alter with seriously dark stuff. Bones, human blood. To cross a line like that, a preachers wife? Black magic. Murder. Evil."

"Desperate. Her husband was dying, she didn't have anything to save him. She was using the binding spell to keep the reaper away from Roy." I tossed in. Sam looked to me, but still not Dean.

"Cheating death, literally." Sam stated.

"Yeah but Roy's alive, so why is she still using the spell?" Dean asked only to Sam. Okay… this shit is getting old fast.

"Right. To force the reaper to kill people she thinks are immoral."

"May God save us from half the people who think they're doing God's work."

"We gotta break that binding spell Dean."

"You know Sue Ann had a coptic cross like this. When she dropped it the reaper backed off."

"So you think we gotta find the cross or destroy the alter?"

"Maybe both. Whatever we do we better do it soon, or he's healing Layla tonight."

I'm pretty sure I'm going to be sidelined for that adventure as well, so I threw the food in the trash, I grabbed my clothes from the duffel bag and walked into the bathroom- locking the door behind me before turning on the shower. I couldn't stand hearing Dean make me stay again, so I'll just be busy until they have to leave. Easier for everyone, right?

(DEAN'S POV)

"Dean… you can't avoid her forever. She was only doing this to help you. She didn't even find the guy. I did. Why are you taking this out on her?" Sam asked me as soon as he heard the shower start.

"Drop it Sam."

"No. Dean that girl in there was in pieces when she thought she was going to lose you. I've never seen her like that, she cried for hours."

"Yes Sam I'm well fucking aware."

"Well then quit being such an ass to her! She thought she got you killed man! Dean she would have never forgiven herself if you died! She didn't mean what she said… she says shit all the time when she gets pissy! Why do you choose now to take it to heart?"

"Sam. I raised her… I raised her better than that… To hear her say that she would kill an innocent without hesitation… how do you want me to take that? You want me to be okay with it?!"

"No Dean… That's not what I'm saying. Just… what if the situation was reversed. What if she was dying and you felt like it was all your fault. Would you hesitate to cross ANY line to save her?"

"Its not the same thing."

"The hell it isn't! Dean. I'm warning you now. If you don't fix this its only going to get worse over time. Trust me… I'm talking from experience here."

Sam looked at me with puppy dog eyes, his weren't near as convincing as Emily's, but damn they make me feel bad- not that I would ever admit that out loud.

How could she say something like that… How could she do something like that. I can't imagine… my sweet sister… the kind who's heart breaks when we pass a dead animal, could she actually kill an innocent person? The thought made me sick to my stomach. Sometimes I hate watching her live this life. She's seen things… done things… I wish she never had to do. I just… I feel like I've let her down. I let this job get to her, its made her too hard. I put her through too much. How can I look at her again, knowing I stood by and watched this job steal her innocence piece by piece. It makes me sick.

(EMILY'S POV)

When I got out of the shower the boys were long gone. I wonder how long Dean is going to drag this out… we've fought before. Usually we're over it after a few days. But… this time it felt different. I can't get the look of disappointment on his face out of my mind. It's going to make sleeping tonight difficult.

The shift of weight on the bed woke me up, I hoped it would be Dean. Ready to make nice… but it was Sam. I could tell because he laid on top of the sheet that I lay under, Dean usually pushes it over to me so he doesn't pull it off of me. Sam just lays on top of it, not to be mean, just because he doesn't realize. I'm happy they both made it back in one piece, but It just doesn't feel like a time to celebrate. I watched Dean climb into his bed next to ours, facing away from me the whole time. I stared at him until he fell asleep.

I gave up hope that we would fix this before the night was over and turned over to curl into Sam's side. At least he wasn't mad at me too. If there was one thing Winchesters were good at it was being angry… after all we learnt from the best.