Why be a little OOC when you can be very OOC?

—The Casualness—

It was better now. There were no more stolen kisses, no more glances at each other that meant more than any other old glance would. It was as if the whole thing had never happened; they joked with each other, Lu talked about Jonas, Andy spoke about Milo from time to time, and on rare occasions such as today, Andy spoke about almost sleeping with Nick.

''I'm sure it was just the alcohol,'' Lu said. As far as she knew the pair wasn't even on a first name basis yet, Andy being the only one to call him Biancavilla, the mere thought of calling him by his unnecessarily long last name seemed pointless to her.

''Probably,'' Andy said.
Lu was surprised by how worked up Andy seemed about the whole thing. ''I mean, I've never even heard you talk about him before, especially not like this. Would you ever, while sober, consider doing anything with him other than, I don't know, save lives?'' Lu asked.

''Well…'' Andy started.
''Seriously?''
Andy cocked her head to the side, ''have you seen him?'' She asked Lu, who started laughing. She had been serious though. The whole night she had lain awake, replaying what she had told her patient a few years before. What she wouldn't do for a piece of him if she wasn't a happily married woman. Except now she wasn't a happily married woman, and he seemed more than willing.

''You're probably just rebounding,'' Lu said. Andy looked up at her, surprised by it. ''I know you miss Milo-''
''Milo?'' Andy asked. It wasn't who she thought Lu had meant.
Lu ignored her question. ''You two were together for a long time, it's normal to rebound a bit, just don't do anything irresponsible.''

Andy gave her a look, ''when have you ever known me to be irresponsible?''

Lu's words were replaying in her head as Nick tugged on the hem of her shirt. She wasn't sure what he was trying to do. They had run into each other in a supply closet, and not a word had been uttered before she had kissed him, irresponsibility be damned.

This time he was the one who pushed her away. ''I think we should talk about this,'' he said.
''What?'' Frankly it was just annoying, but she knew she wasn't going to get anywhere without him saying his piece.

''Before we do anything, you should know that I'm not really looking for anything serious,'' he said. From her track record he was sure that at least until a few years ago this was probably a deal-breaker- after her affair with Lu he wasn't so sure anymore- but he felt she should know. ''I like you, I like talking to you, and I think we can be great friends, but I don't have feelings for you.'' He watched her back away a bit.

''Okay…''
''Not that you don't turn me on or anything, I just don't feel that way about you,'' he said.
''Okay.''
''Okay?''

''Yeah, it's fine,'' Andy said, taking another step back. She ran a hand through her hair as she made up her mind. It wasn't as if she was looking to fall in love, and she certainly couldn't picture herself growing old with Nick of all people, but after the butterflies she had felt in her stomach whilst dancing with him, she couldn't risk hurting herself. She grabbed the door handle, ''I should go.''

Avoiding Nick had never been more difficult. Every patient of hers that showed up in the ER meant more time she had to spend with him. She was just about to leave, snapping her gloves off and throwing them away, when he grabbed her by the arm. ''Can we talk?'' He asked, pulling her into an exam room. He closed the door behind him and silently turned to her. She raised her eyebrows at him, waiting. ''I wanted to apologize for this morning.''

She crossed her arms. ''This morning?'' The memory of her hangover came rushing back, the memory of leaving before he woke up, hailing a cab to work, taking a shower in the locker room and being reminded of Lu, all before rushing into surgery. It hadn't been one of her better mornings, and her talk with Nick certainly hadn't made things better, but still, it wasn't what she had expected him to apologize for.

''I'm sorry for what I said.'' He was, but that didn't mean he didn't mean it. ''I just thought you should know,'' he said. He wasn't entirely sure why he was apologizing, but after her reaction he knew he should. She nodded at him. ''Are we cool?''

She frowned at him. ''I'm not mad at you,'' she said. He seemed surprised. ''At least, not about this morning.'' She sat down on the exam table.
''Then why—Wait, last night? Are you upset about last night?'' He asked. She didn't answer. ''Why? Nothing happened last night,'' he said, recalling her pushing him away before anything transpired. She had ended up sleeping on the couch.

''You should've told me how you felt,'' she said, ''before kissing me.''
He rubbed the back of his neck, ''I didn't plan on that,'' he said. ''I was just teasing you about your relationship with Lu, and then your hand was on my chest, and you looked up at me—it was pretty hard to resist at that point.''

He licked his lips and she swallowed hard. ''So why did you? Tease me, I mean,'' she added.
''I just wanted to know. The stories I've heard…'' he shook his head. ''Plus, you know the age old saying,'' he said, reluctant to actually say it.

She raised her eyebrows again, ''which would be?''
''A lady in the streets…'' he said, leaving her to fill in the blanks. She shook her head at him and he smirked at her. ''From what I've heard it's true.''

She smirked back, ''too bad you'll never find out.'' She said.
His face fell a bit. ''You seemed rather interested in me last night, if I recall.''
She bit her lip, ''I didn't know how you felt then.'' She walked over to him and put a hand on his chest, ''I don't take this lightly.''

''This?'' He asked.
''Being with someone,'' she told him. ''I guess Delgado was the exception that proves the rule, but I don't just jump into bed with someone.''

''Then why did you kiss me?'' He asked.
She shrugged, ''I had way too much to drink, and I was feeling lonely, and you—you are very hot,'' she said, matter-of-factly. He grinned at her, ''we were dancing, and then the whole situation with me sleeping on your couch, it all just kind of happened.''

His pager went off, ''for the record, you can 'just have it kind of happen' with me whenever you want,'' he said with a smile before slipping out.

She rang the doorbell before stepping off the porch, looking up at the setting sun. Hearing the door open she was afraid to turn around, afraid it was the wrong person on the other side. She turned anyway, locking eyes with the dark-eyed man. ''Jonas,'' she acknowledged him.

''Dr. Campbell, what are you doing here?'' He asked. From the start he had liked her, she had been a great doctor for his mother until she had passed away, and even despite telling him she was not a dating service she had helped him get with Lu. It was only after hearing the news that she and Lu had slept together that his opinion of her had changed.

And it wasn't as if he had been oblivious this past year. He knew they had continued seeing each other, he knew that at the very least Lu harbored feelings for her, if not mutual, and he knew that right now all he wanted to do was keep the two apart. Except he would never be able to.

''I need to talk to Lu,'' Andy said, wondering if he'd let her in at all, let alone leave them alone to talk. ''Just talk,'' she said.
He opened the door for her, letting her step in. ''She's upstairs, getting ready.''

She vaguely remembered Lu telling her that they were going out for dinner that night. Without another word she made her way upstairs, right into their bedroom at the end of the hall.

Lu stood up from the chair in front of her vanity, surprised by Andy. ''Are you okay?'' She asked, noticing the look on her partner's face.
Seeing Lu standing there, a low-cut black dress, her hair curly, and her makeup done perfectly, Andy forgot what she had came here for to talk about. After a second she shook her head, trying to clear her mind. ''I'm okay,'' she said.

As the memory of the speech she had prepared on the way over here came flooding back to her, she suddenly doubted she wanted to say any of it at all. Lu led her to sit down on the bed before pulling up her chair. ''I love you,'' Andy said, deciding it was best to just come out with it.

Lu frowned at her, unsure of how to respond, ''okay?''
''You said you loved me, as more than just…''
''I know.''
''I said I didn't,'' Andy said, ''love you like that.''

''But you do.''
''But I do.'' Andy repeated. ''I loved you, and I liked you, and I was in love with you.'' It was the first time she had out-loud admitted to it. It felt like a heavy weight off her shoulders, even though she knew it wasn't going to change anything about their relationship.''

''I know,'' Lu said. Andy might've been lying to herself but Lu hadn't. She knew how she had felt about Andy and she knew how the former colonel felt about her. She hadn't had to say it for Lu to know it.

''It was never going to work,'' Andy said.
Lu thought about the man getting ready downstairs. ''No, it wouldn't've.'' She said, not nearly as sure as Andy was. Still, she felt the need to reassure her. ''I'm with Jonas, and you're jumping in the sack with Nick.''

''I'm not,'' Andy said quickly.
''Already getting over your rebound?'' Lu asked, standing up to retrieve her necklace from her vanity. ''I guess it has been a while since your break-up.''

Andy stood up, getting behind Lu and taking her necklace from her hands. Brushing Lu's hair to the side she took a deep breath. ''I wasn't on the rebound from Milo,'' she said, her hand brushing against Lu's neck. Andy could see goose bumps form but chose to ignore it. She put on the necklace, admiring it in the mirror across from the two of them. The image of them so close together made her miss what they had once had.

Lu turned to Andy, closer to her than they had been in over a month. She pointed to herself with a frown, ''me?'' She asked softly. She never would've guessed Andy would rebound from- what Lu knew Andy thought it was even though it was not what Lu herself would call it- their fling, and she didn't know what to say.

Andy nodded.
''Why are you telling me this?'' Lu asked, sitting down again to put on her heels.
She couldn't say she hadn't pondered that same question herself, only to end up with the exact same answer each time, ''there's nothing I don't tell you.''

Lu looked up with a smile. ''You should find someone to vent your feelings to that you haven't slept with,'' she said.
''I'll work on it.''
''So what happened with you and Nick?''

Andy sighed, ''we kissed.''
Lu looked back at her with raised eyebrows, ''are you two gonna…''
''I don't know,'' Andy said. ''He made it very clear he doesn't have feelings for me, so… Make of that what you will.''

''That doesn't mean you can't still be with him,'' Lu said. Andy gave her a look. ''If you want to and he wants to, then who cares if you're in love with him or he with you, or neither of you with the other? If you want to screw his brains out then do that.''

''That's not who I am,'' Andy said.
''But why would you stop yourself from doing something- or someone- you want to do?'' Lu asked. She could see how conflicted Andy felt. ''What if Milo does marry Sandra?'' She asked, she couldn't imagine it actually happening and Andy didn't look too thrilled at the thought either. ''What if he marries her and you never fall in love with anyone else. Are you just never going to have sex again?''

''I'm not a fan of hypotheticals,'' Andy said, ''or at least not of this one.''
Lu glanced at her watch; it was nearly half past seven. ''We have dinner reservations at eight,'' she told Andy as she walked over to the bedroom door. She turned around before opening it, ''what have you got to lose, really?''

She looked up at him. Her head leaning against the doorframe as a surprised look crossed his face. ''Dr. Campbell?''

''If we're going to do this you might as well call me Andy,'' Andy told him, feeling completely unsure of herself. After leaving Lu's house she had thought about her words. Why would she deny herself this? Nick had made it clear he wanted to, so why not? He slowly nodded at her. She looked him up and down, waiting for him to make the next move but he seemed frozen. ''Can I come in?''

''Oh yeah, of course,'' he said, stepping aside. He had been completely taken aback by her showing up at his front door. After what had happened the previous night, as well as that morning, he didn't think she would want much to do with him anymore.

As he got them both drinks she looked around his apartment. The pillow and blanket she had used the previous night were still on the couch, but other than that the apartment was a lot neater than you would expect from a bachelor. He brought over two diet cokes and she smiled at him, ''I like your couch,'' she said, a futile attempt at small talk to mask the awkwardness she was feeling.

''I hope it was comfortable,'' Nick said, sitting down on the couch.
Andy nodded, ''it was,'' she said, sitting down as well.
They were both quiet, trying to figure out how to bring up why Andy was here. He knew why, he just didn't know why. ''So, what changed your mind?'' He asked.

She wasn't sure she had. ''I just…'' she searched for the right words but they didn't come. She wanted to know if this was something she could actually do, have sex with someone she would never want a romantic relationship with. She wanted to know what it would feel like. How would she feel about him in the morning? Was this something that she, a woman who had been taught that sex was exclusively for married couples, could do with someone she would never dream of marrying.

It had been different with Milo. Not only had she waited until they had been dating a few months before she slept with him, when she closed her eyes she could imagine them being married, growing old together. Until the moment they broke up she had every intention to one day be his wife.

And Lu. It might not have started out that way, but eventually she could imagine them being something. Maybe not married but something nonetheless. It might not have been as much as a relationship as much at it had been an obsession, but it was still more than what she had with Nick.

She leaned a little closer to him as he did the same. Their faces were inches apart, their eyes locked together until hers fluttered close. She could feel his lips brush against hers, his hand moving up to her face; he used his hand to draw her face closer to his. His lips parted slightly and she followed suit.

He pulled her closer, pulling her on top of him. Their kissing grew more intense, both of them trying to be closer to the other, breathing heavily. He pulled away for a second, pulling his shirt over his head, he wasn't wearing anything underneath. She ran her hands over his warm, bare skin, and for a moment she closed her eyes and pretended it was Milo.

She hated herself for doing it but quickly put it out of her mind. He didn't feel the same anyway.

His hands were on her butt, pulling her closer to him before playing with the hem of her skirt like he had done earlier that day. ''What are you doing?'' She asked quietly.
Where before he had seen smooth and confidence, he almost looked shy for a moment. ''I want to take it off,'' he said, ''but if you're not comf-''

Andy took that as her cue. She got off his lap, pulling her shirt off over her head as she walked to his bedroom. She turned around in the doorframe, raising her eyebrows at him. He followed her inside, closing the door behind him. He watched her take the remainder of her clothes off, surprised by how casual she seemed to be about it.

He had watched many different women take their clothes off in his bedroom, in all different ways. Most tried to turn it into a little striptease, some very shyly waiting until they were under their covers. Andy seemed very practical about the whole thing, like her clothes would just get in the way so she might as well take them off. Nick still liked watching it though.

They landed on the bed together and it wasn't long before the remainder of Nick's clothes came off as well. She grew more nervous about the whole thing as she watched him reach for the bedside table, taking a tin foil package out of the drawer. He opened the package with his teeth, noticing her hesitation as he put the condom on. ''We can stop whenever you want, just say the word,'' he told her.

She nodded at him, determined to go through with it. When she didn't protest he got back on top of her, and she opened her legs wider for him. Using her hand to guide him in she couldn't help but hold her breath. It was familiar but different.

At times it was both hard and fast, as well as slow and sensual. There was some alternating between paces, some switching of positions, and then- with a groan- he came and rolled off of her.

She laid down on her side, watching him get up and throwing the condom away before disappearing into the bathroom. He came back a minute later. He laid back down next to her and pulled her into his arms, ''did you…?'' He asked, frowning.

For a second she was tempted to lie, but figured was there no point in doing so. ''It's fine.'' She said. Before she could get the whole sentence out he had rolled them over onto her back and was crawling under the covers. ''Really, you don't have to-'' She could feel his mouth on her and decided against protesting.

If she was going to do this she might as well get something out of it. It's not as if coming had ever been a particular challenge for her, but being with someone new for the first time meant that she was over-thinking the whole situation, which only made it difficult. But he seemed eager enough to please, and it took no time to realize that he knew exactly what he was doing.

It wasn't long before she came, moaning two different names- neither one of them being Nick's- as tears crept over her eyelids.