. 0Oo.
UPDATE!
I don't know why, but there seems to be a problem with uploading new documents. I'm still trying to make it work properly and I've found a little trick by editing and using older documents, but it's really annoying.
You can also find my works on AO3.
same penname, same titles
enjoy ;)
(FF error2)
. 0Oo.
.
.
3. Cold, cold Nights
.
I've read the new comments yesterday in the early morning. I was still lying in bed fighting my anxiety before I had to get up for a very important job interview. Not anywhere, but by a worldwide pharmaceutical company, real big fish like a huge sturgeon in a small pool. You can only imagine the level of nervousness I've been experiencing. My heartbeat decreased, the colour on my face returned and I started smiling due to the warm, comforting feeling surrounding me when I read those few lines.
That made me speechless!
.
It looked like I've achieved my goals:
.
o0o Although it's apparent that I'm not a native speaker, somehow I've I left a good impression with my writing skills. Whoop, whoop!
o0o I've successfully built awareness of BDSM and the completely normal lives behind. I'm still trying hard to break up with old, deadlocked stereotypes and to alter the view on those darker pleasures. Apparently it worked and I've opened up new horizons for some of you.
o0o As it seems I've really managed to spice up someone's private life. Hehehe, kinky! I like that! :D If you have any questions on that matter, feel free to contact me via PM anytime. Enjoy! ;)
.
Sooo, my thoughts circled around the frightening job interview situation, but all of a sudden my fears vanished and one main stem of ideas crystallised out.
If I am able to put my dreams and intention into reality indeed, then I will be able to rock that baby too, right?
.
Time to rock! Relaxed and easy I went to the job interview with a colossal lot of confidence.
On my way I dropped every brick that I came across - yeah, really! From delay due to a thunderstorm over bleeding blisters and getting a shower from the sudden rain to staining my pants with my oh-so-colour-proof underwear and to glistening sweat pearls on my forehead like I was melting away like my decent make-up was. I was mortified, the universe seemed to be against me and tried hard to test my Bridget Jones abilities, but it didn't matter. It all led to an adrenaline kick only, and mixed with my positive attitude and confidence it resulted in a fairly good conversation and the interviewer seemed to be impressed, not only with my easy naturalness albeit the obvious misfortunes, but also with my professional competencies. Time will tell.
Something strong and powerful, which felt to be sleeping deep inside of me for way too long, has begun to resurrect that morning. I can feel it running through my veins more and more.
.
Thank you, yarazard! Your reviews mean a lot to me.
Thank you, Hanaka Ayami, for your honest words!
Thank you, cathyscloud9, for still following my work and leaving regular feedback.
.
Thanks and hugs to all the others, too who have been with me since The Fail of a Mission. I appreciate every single form of feedback (low-brow flames aside).
SquaMata
.
.
3. Cold, cold Nights
.
A small meeting room at the ANBU guard quarters on the ground floor of the hokage mansion was where the team met up before they headed off to Iwagakure. It didn't have any windows and the atmosphere was pretty uninviting and uncomfortable with four sterile white walls, a scratched blackboard hanging on one side and grey linoleum on the floor. A big white table with chairs surrounding it represented the centre of the cramped room. Sakura got instantly reminded of the cold sterility of the hospital and chuckled inwardly about the hokage's well-known aversion.
They all sat down on the hard white chairs as Kakashi and Shikamaru briefed them about the route and their different tasks. Besides a short extra eye-crinkle aimed for her, the silverhead acted aloof and calm as ever like they had not been good friends or even secret lovers. This was business-Kakashi at his finest and she highly doubted he would drop that façade during their trip. Sakura knew it was too late to decline his offer, she would have to go through this.
At least the hokage's final choice of guards made her smile, though he met her stipulation that Tatsuo would not join them this time. Naruto was one of the ANBU followed by Genma, Hoshi and the two youngsters she knew from the hospital. Last but not least Shikamaru accompanied them as the hokage's official consultant. The pinkette was glad that she would have some familiar people to talk to during their travel and so she would not have to deal with the constant feeling of being the one out.
.
.
The trip to Iwagakure was uneventful, nearly demure. To her surprise the guys acted very civilized around her and showed a lot of respect to their hokage. Only the two young ANBU stole some glances at her and giggled foolishly from time to time while making fun of each other. A single look from Kakashi was all that it took for them to refocus. Sakura was impressed, but also a bit irritated because she had expected them to be the pack of testosterone infused knuckleheads they had always been, especially with only one woman in their middle. It was obvious how much power the hokage was having over his men. As a matter of course they followed him due to his professional demeanour and his well-known ninja abilities, but the pinkette was also sure that his dominant nature had something to do with their behaviour.
The silverhead emphasized his distant behaviour like he had done during the Memorial Day festivities. The medical kunoichi had known from the start that she would have to sleep alone on their travel, but she had not been prepared of the torture it was with his tent only a few metres next to her. Oh, how much her body was aching and screaming for her to crawl into that damn olive-green kage tent that she could lay down by his side!
.
Unaware of her struggle Kakashi was lying sleepless in his own bedroll just them damn few metres and a canvas tent apart.
Why the hell does that damn fabric have to be opaque? It could be transparent at least. Maybe if I could see her sleeping peacefully I would be able to get some rest too.
.
Simultaneously they remembered the mission with Aoba's genins.
Kakashi had sent Tatsuo with them and somehow the nights had been cold, very, very cold. At least it had been what the ANBU had explained to the giggling kids as they had found them snuggling with their bedrolls pulled close together in the early morning. In typical Kakashi-sensei manner underlined with theatrical gestures he had declared the importance of body warmth whenever a teammate would be freezing. Aoba's only reaction had been an amused chuckle and Sakura had fought hard against the treacherous heat colouring her face. If they had believed him or not she wasn't sure, but at least the night back then had not been as cold as she was feeling right now.
Sighing she turned around in her bedroll and watched the blazing flames crackling the firewood in the middle of their makeshift camp.
.
.
Sadly the room arrangement wasn't pleasant. The hokage's bedroom was set in between the rooms of Hoshi and Shikamaru, whereas Sakura's room was diagonally across from his and seamed by Naruto and Genma. The two youngsters shared a room together on the side of the hall.
Its only for two nights…
But what about the day after tomorrow?
.
We'll be heading back to Konoha then.
You know what I mean.
.
Nothing. It's just an ordinary day. Basta.
Inner Sakura shook her head.
Seeing each other is better than not seeing each other.
.
Sure, that's why he asked me to join them, but I miss him and his touches.
Do you really think he doesn't feel the same?
.
Sakura and Kakashi exchanged a brief, disappointed look before he went inside of his room and closed the door. Both had been hoping for some discreet time together alone.
The worst thing that turned out was that there were always eyes watching and chakra reading ANBU everywhere in Iwa to grant the security of the kage meeting. She longed for his near and so did he. Whenever nobody was looking at them they took the chance for a slight brush of a hand here and an encouragingly loving smile there.
As inconspicuous and meaningless as it was to the unsuspecting eye, somehow their subtle behaviour created the curiosity of a certain redhead. They were acting just too different to what he had seen back then in Suna.
.
.
As always the kazekage had asked Sakura, who had been his personal medic ever since their agreement, to use the opportunity to do his regular check-up.
The tsuchikage allowed them to use an empty examination room at the hospital, but only if she would examine all kages and their escorts. She had been prepared for that, Kakashi had informed her prior that it would be likely to happen, for most of them it was a rare occasion to have such a highly renowned medic around after all.
.
Gaara discarded his clothes to the necessity and sat down onto the exam table. Her gaze seemed to be as unfocused as her concentration and he detected her unease in an instant. The keen observer knew something was wrong.
He watched her washing and disinfecting her hands. "I can sense something is going on, Sakura."
"What do you mean?" She looked at him in irritation and waked over to start his check-up.
.
"You seem a bit lost." His eyes followed her hands and he noticed their slight tremble to his remark.
"No, It's alright." Sakura stood now in front of him to asset his body with her glowing palm.
.
His demanding stare showed her he wasn't confirmed in the slightest.
Sighing she stopped her approach. "I'm just… missing someone."
.
"I've noticed he's not with you." The intense stare continued without showing any emotion. "But something is telling me, it's not him we're talking about."
.
Her eyes went wide as he kept on scrutinizing her every reaction with his perceptive turquoise orbs.
Dammit…
Time for a quick change of topic!
.
A half-sided smirk formed on the corner of his lips and looked all too knowingly for her taste.
Do something!
The pinkette let her chakra flow quickly throughout his whole body once, briefly eliciting an uncontrolled shake of his muscles with her harsh action like from a sudden electric shock.
.
"Well, you can get dressed again. Everything's fine, but Shukaku seems more content and relaxed than ever. I would even go that far to say that he is actually happy. Gaara, could it be that you've finally found someone?"
The grumpy look on his face from the unpleasant treatment vanished and his cheeks turned into a slight pink. "I don't know what you're talking about." He put on his robes and tried to hide his small blush slowly creeping down to his neck.
.
Sakura smiled, she was really happy for him. To be honest, she was also relieved that he wouldn't push her further and so did she.
Then they talked about what was going on in Suna recently and he bid her to reduce the mark of a small injury he had gotten during a sparring match.
.
.
Sakura was sitting on her bed reading. While the kages had an opulent dinner with the tsuchikage, the ANBU escorts and other staff had gotten a bowl of a strange stew with beans, lentils, potatoes and bacon. After a few spoons the Konoha nin had decided to head out for a restaurant, but the pinkette had cancelled their offer. Her hunger wouldn't be stilled by any kind of food, that she was sure of, so she had retreated to her room.
She was knee-deep drawn into the adventurous novel in her hands as someone disturbed her by knocking on her door. Sakura opened the wooden door and was surprised to find Genma standing there with a box of take-out and a pair of chopsticks in his hands.
.
"I thought you could need some company, now with your dear boyfriend far away."
The pinkette laughed about his playful and flirty attitude. "Come on in!"
.
"You have no idea how hard it is to find something edible here!" He set the box on the desk and handed her the chopsticks. "I don't know how they call it, but it's quite good actually. I thought you may like it. You haven't eaten since breakfast, right?"
Sakura smiled at him. "Nope, I didn't have the time. They bombarded me with check-ups until it was dinner time and well, after a few spoons of that dish they served us, my hunger dissipated."
"Or better said your hunger bolted away with all its force!" He said chuckling. "Man, that thing was disgusting!"
They both laugh and he plopped down on her bed with his back leaned on the wall behind.
.
Sakura sat down and delved into the food box. It contained bulgur with something like goulash and Genma had been right, it was tasty.
"What you're reading?" He took the book lying open on her bed and flicked through its content.
"You read?"
.
"Yes, Sakura, I'm capable of reading, but instead of our dear hokage I like to spend my freetime with more pleasant activities." He chuckled and set her book to the side.
Then he stared out of the window into the distance. "The nights are cold alone."
.
His eyes met hers with a strange look she had gotten to know once before. "Don't you think?" He patted the spot next to him on the matrass.
"Genma, I…" She gulped down the bite she was chewing on. "I feel flattered, but…"
.
"You should see your face!" He broke out into cheerful laughter. "I was just kidding, Sakura! You should really ease up. I haven't seen you laughing for the whole trip." He patted the spot next to him again. "Come on, I swear I won't bite. I just need some company and I want to talk with you."
"You're so weird sometimes. You know those jokes aren't funny, right?" Sakura sat down next to him with her food box in hands.
.
"Oh, they are! It depends on the reaction." Genma winked at her.
"Mhm, but what if you struck the wrong person and the reaction would be positive?" She raised a brow at him.
.
The bandana-head shrugged. "Depends on the situation."
"And what about Shizune?" Her face contorted into a deep frown.
.
His gaze drifted off to the night sky again. "Honestly I don't know."
Sakura could hear the pain in his voice and her look softened. "Genma, what happened?"
.
"She declined to move in with me." The expression on his face resembled that of a hurt and affronted man who lost his hope.
"Really? I haven't known." Her voice was filled with concern and compassion.
.
"Yeah. I have no idea why. It all looked so well and promising." He averted his brown eyes again. "Hell, I have even been toying with the idea to pop the question."
"Which question?"
Think again…
.
He gave her a sad smirk as realisation kicked in.
Oh, THAT question!
Poor guy.
Sakura put down her food and laid her head onto his shoulder to give him some comfort.
.
"She said she would need some time alone before she will be able to think about settling down. And then she went with Tsunade to one of their travels." Loosely he draped an arm on her shoulder in companionate manner. He was sure she was also suffering to be separated by her lover.
"Be patient and have a little trust. I know she has strong feelings for you."
.
"I'm not so sure anymore." He bit hard on his senbon and fought back his sadness. They were sitting on her bed together for a while, both feeling the loneliness gnawing on their bones.
"What about your guy? I have no idea why our dear hokage has shown no mercy and separated you two cruelly instead of taking him with us."
.
Sakura straightened sitting position to get some distance and shrugged it off. "Ah, it's okay."
"I have an idea it's because of himself." Genma told her with an honest look.
.
"I don't think he has done that deliberately."
"He bid me to take care of you."
.
Without any typical innuendo he stated that earnestly and let that information sink in for a while before he continued: "To be honest I have no idea what happened between you two and it's none of my business actually, but whatever it was it cut him deep, Sakura. You should try to fix that."
.
She blinked at him in disbelief.
Is he really suggesting what I think?
.
Genma stood up and walked a few steps into the direction of the door, but then he turned.
"Have you ever thought about another possibility than Tatsuo?"
.
And with one last stern look at her he went outside to join the other ANBU and left her alone with the train of thought he had intended.
.
. 0Oo.
UPDATE!
I don't know why, but I can't upload the next chapter.
You can find it on AO3.
same penname, same title
enjoy ;)
(FF error2)
. 0Oo.
.