—The Possessiveness—
This had been a huge mistake.
At almost the exact moment the two lines had appeared clear as day on the test she had made the decision to terminate the pregnancy. It hadn't been planned, it wasn't something she wanted, and she was sure Nick didn't want to co-parent a child with her for the rest of their lives. It was a simple decision really. She had always been a huge proponent of a woman's right to choose, even if she had never considered the possibility that she would one day have to go through it herself.
There had been no doubt whatsoever. But now, lying back on the exam table in her office, hearing the rapid heartbeat echo in the room, it made it real. This was an actual fetus. If she didn't do anything then in almost seven-and-a-half months she would have a baby. A human being who would grow up and one day maybe have their own children.
She had already filled her prescription for mifepristone and misoprostol, all she had to do was take them both and she would be done. The baby would be gone. No baby she would have to raise for the next eighteen years, after Lizzy moved out in a couple of years her child-rearing years would be behind her. And she had been looking forward to that time for a long time now.
It's just that damn heartbeat. She didn't know what had propelled her to listen to it all; she had known it would fill her with doubts. And the worst part was that she couldn't even tell anyone about it. It made sense to tell Milo but she knew that they wouldn't stay together if she kept it. Telling Nick was certainly out of the question, it was a difficult enough decision without him weighing in.
She could tell Lu, but undoubtedly Milo would somehow eventually find out and be hurt by the fact that she had shared it with Lu but not with him. Andy buried her face in her hands, putting the wand down. Even as the loud thumping sound stopped she could still hear it, unrelentingly reminding her that she was pregnant.
''We need to talk,'' she said, closing the door to Milo's hotel room behind her. From what he had told her he had not even started to look for a new place to live yet, perfectly comfortable with room service and a maid coming in every day to change his sheets.
''That sounds serious,'' he said, sitting down on the bed. He pulled her a bit closer to him, ''are we okay?'' He asked. Sure, they had been fighting a lot and she had rejected all of his advances since he had told her he wanted her to stop seeing Lu, but he still wanted them to be together, and still very much wanted her in bed with him.
''We're fine,'' Andy said. She had fully intended to tell him about her pregnancy, explain that that was part of the reason why she had been so off lately. Yes, it was mostly because of Lu but this certainly played a part too.
''Good,'' he said, pulling her into his lap and nuzzling her neck.
She could feel his hand on her belly, under her shirt, and for a second wondered if he knew. His lips were on her ear, nibbling on it ever so slightly and she softly pushed him away. ''No,'' she said quietly, ''I don't want to have sex with you, not tonight.''
He groaned, ''okay. Can you sleep here though?''
She sighed, ''I have to get home, Lizzy-''
''Kayla is there,'' he reminded her. ''And Corrina will be there first thing in the morning to wake her up and get her to school. Please, I sleep better when you're next to me.''
She looked into his eyes. The same was true for her, and even though she had been pushing him away she still wanted to be close to him. Just for a little while she wanted to forget everything else that was going on and just stare at him as he slept. ''Okay.''
Her face was scrunched up, her hand gripping the pillow, her body going through the motions. Her soft moans had woken him up and now he couldn't help but stare—he was equal parts turned on and pissed off from the moment Lu's name had left her mouth.
Milo knew she didn't have control over this, over her dreams or even over her feelings for her partner, but it still got to him. He could feel that familiar pangs of jealousy, that feeling of wanting to claim her as his own, completely. It wasn't healthy, he knew that, but just like she couldn't change her feelings for Lu he couldn't change how he felt either.
He was lying on his side, his hand moving down from tangled in her hair, down her spine, to her ass. He gave it a slight slap and could feel her push back against his hand, his hand moved down to her underwear clad centre, surprised how wet she felt. Her hips rolled against his hand and for a second he debated on what to do, wanting to take this further but the knowledge that it wasn't him who was making her this way was killing him.
He couldn't deny that seeing Andy and Lu together had turned him on, as did the thought of them together—he had had many a dream about the very scenario, but then there were moments like this where he just wanted to claim her for himself.
Her hand released the pillow, moving down into her underwear instead. Milo swallowed hard. Her breathing was becoming faster and he knew that she was close to coming. Another orgasm that could be claimed by Lu, another one that he had nothing to do with.
Andy could feel Lu's lips on her neck; their hands in the other person's underwear as they approached the edge together, feeling the heat built in her lower belly and spread throughout her whole body. She could hear her own moans but Lu's were sounding further and further away. And then, right before she came, the feeling of tugging at her underwear woke her up.
She was lying on her stomach on the bed, her hand slick with her juices as someone-presumably Milo- was on top of her, pulling down her underwear and throwing it beside the bed. Still half asleep she raised her hips slightly, pushing back against him- silently giving her consent-, feeling him poke against her.
This was new for them. They usually didn't initiate sex while the other person was still asleep but they had set their safe word- red- a long time ago and trusted each other enough, knowing that they would both respect it. And besides, Andy had more than once woken Milo up for sex after dreaming about Lu, she had no doubt now that he knew what she had been dreaming about just seconds earlier.
The moment he slipped inside of her she came, hard. Her face was buried in the pillow, her hand gripping the sheet tightly as she could feel him move inside of her, his balls slapping against the sensitive skin on her inner thighs. His hands moved up her torso, pulling him up against her as he stilled inside of her. She leaned back against him as much as she could, sitting on his bent knees below her with her legs on either side of his'.
She could feel his hand on her throat and it brought her right back to his wedding night, to being in bed with both Nick and Peter. Being with Nick. Being pregnant with his baby. If anything could crash an orgasm that would be it. However, she didn't get the time to contemplate this as she could feel the oxygen getting cut off. Another new thing for them. Not exactly unwelcome.
His lips were close to her ear, as Lu's had been a minute before. She grinded against his lap, wanting friction.
''You are mine,'' Milo growled. ''I don't care if we're broken up, if you're sleeping with Lu,'' he thrust up against her as he said the name, eliciting a moan from Andy, ''or if you're lying next to me dreaming about someone else, you are mine. I'll decide whether you can come or not, not Peter, not Nick, and not Lu. Just me.''
The grip on her throat relented slightly and she gasped for air, ever so slightly feeling like she was floating. His words echoed in her ears and she could feel her own wetness run down her thigh, it wasn't as if she could hide from Milo how much he turned her on. ''I'm yours,'' she said. She meant it. She had said it before, and it hadn't changed the fact that she had still developed feelings for Lu, she and Milo had still broken up. But through it all, she had remained his.
When she stared at Lu's lips, not listening to her, she was Milo's. When she was alone in the shower and her hand seemed to automatically travel downward, she was Milo's. Even when dreaming about the beautiful Latina, an action that was beyond her control, she was still Milo's.
Milo was thrusting up into her and she could feel herself start climbing again, her head leaning back against Milo's shoulder as his hands held onto her hips. Her hand moved down to his thigh, trying to keep her balance. Her breathing was fast and her other hand moved down to her clit, Milo was close and she wanted to make sure they made it there at the same time.
''No,'' he breathed into her ear. ''Not yet. I'll tell you when you can.''
She had always considered her sensitivity to be a blessing. She usually came at least once, often twice or thrice, when she was with Milo. It wasn't particularly hard for her to get there and they weren't even weak orgasms either. But now, to be denied the permission to come… This was a challenge.
He came inside of her but his pace never even slowed down, he kept going and Andy was amazed that somehow he was still hard. No matter how hard she tried not to come she couldn't help but rock against him, moaning because of how good it felt. She had meant what she had said to Nick, that his dick was amazing, but somehow Milo's was even better.
His dick, his hands, his lips, the way his eyes bore into her soul, his words… Nothing turned her on more. She could feel his hands move to her breasts, playing with her nipples and it just about pushed her over the edge. A tear ran down her cheek. ''Fuck.'' She said under her breath. ''Please let me…''
A vague memory of trying to push Milo's buttons by telling him that Lu had made her- Andy- beg her-Lu- to make her come came back to her, and she was sure this was some kind of punishment. Payback for hurting his feelings. She knew that Milo held on to those moments, making use of them when the time was right.
She could practically hear him grin, loving the fact that even though they had been fighting a lot and despite the fact that she had feelings for someone else, she had still told him she was his, still listened to him when he had denied her her orgasm. ''Not yet.''
Her legs were shaking and she was biting on her lip so hard- trying to hold back the expletives- that she was close to drawing blood. He was pulling on her taut nipples and it hurt just the slightest bit, but in a good way. She was trying to draw in a full breath, trying to regain her composure and some control over her body, but there was no use. She was entirely in Milo's hands, and even though with every passing second she was starting to care less and less about whether he had granted her permission or not, she couldn't come. She was so close that it hurt, but physically she just couldn't do it.
He had told her no and even if her mind didn't care, her body had been listening. ''Please…'' without conscious effort she repeated the word what seemed like a thousand times. She involuntarily pushed her chest against his hand, and if her mind wasn't being flooded by chemicals she would've been embarrassed by how desperate she was for his touch.
Desperate for him to touch her in all the right places and just let her-
''Okay. Now.''
Her eyes opened ever so slightly, the bright light coming from the lamp on the bedside table hurting her eyes. She frowned, looking up into Milo's eyes. He had a wicked smile on his face and the memory of what had happened came flooding back to her. She sat up a bit, trying to remember what had happened after. She asked him as much.
''You passed out,'' he said. ''You actually came so hard that you passed out.'' He seemed proud of himself and she couldn't bear to break the news to him that Lu had already achieved that once before.
Her whole body was slick with sweat, a wet spot had formed under her and she moved closer to Milo, not wanting to spend the rest of the night sleeping on it. ''That was really good,'' she told him, ''even if it only happened because of…'' She didn't want to say it, knowing how he would react.
He groaned, unhappy that she had felt the need to bring it up. ''Seems like your relationship with her was good for something,'' he said, wrapping his arm around her.
She looked up at him, ''I meant what I said, you know. Even when I was with her I was still yours. No matter what happens I always will be. But I can't help how I feel about her, clearly, or I wouldn't be dreaming about her.'' She could feel her eyes fill with tears when he looked away. ''I love you, you know that, but you have to accept how I feel.''
He hesitated for a second. ''I'm glad you're not acting on those feelings, I know that that is difficult for you, but… it is difficult for me to accept that you have feelings for someone else, the same kind of feelings as the one you have for me,'' he said, ''although I suppose it is my own fault.'' He saw a frown form on her face. ''I'm the one who brought it up.''
She lightly traced patterns on his stomach as she remembered what he had said that night, and the effect it had almost immediately had on her.
''Did you have feelings for her before I brought it up?'' He asked, having never considered that possibility. It had surprised him how willing Andy had been to go along with Lu's actions the first time they were together, especially since he had been there with them, but at the time he hadn't thought it possible they were in love.
''I don't know,'' Andy admitted. ''I mean, I certainly thought she was attractive but I never considered acting on that, especially since she gave no indication that she felt the same way. I think it was only when we had sex that I realized I wanted to do that with her, and then when we started sleeping together after you and I broke up I quickly developed feelings for her—even if it did take a long time for me to admit that to myself.''
He stared at her for a few seconds. ''You really do love her, don't you?''
She swallowed hard, ''yeah, I do.''
''So why did you pick me?'' He asked, pulling away ever so slightly so he could face her more. ''If you love her so much then why did you pick me over her?''
Her hand was on his chest as she tried to find the right words to tell him how she felt. ''Because from the beginning of our relationship I've known that I want to spend the rest of my life with you,'' she said. ''You make me feel so happy, so loved, you care about me and my children, I just can't imagine anyone as amazing as you.''
He felt the same way, but there was a more pressing issue on his mind. ''So then how do you feel about Lu?'' He asked. He could see on her face that she hadn't expected that question and didn't know how to answer it right away. ''From everything that you've told me that's how you feel about her as well.''
Andy stared at him, wide-eyed. She stumbled, trying to look for words but failing. ''I don't-''
''You say that I make you happy, but you haven't looked happy since I told you I don't want you to date Lu.'' Milo said. ''You've been pulling away from me; you're staring at her… Do you honestly, whole-heartedly, believe that I could be enough for you? That you won't continue to want her?''
There was so much she wanted to say; that she loved him more, that he was actually enough, but with every passing second she started to believe those words less and less.
''You'll always be mine?''
''Always.'' She didn't skip a beat—didn't have to think twice about this answer.
''Even if you're with her?'' Milo asked. ''Even then you'll be mine.''
''Always, even then,'' Andy said, squeezing him a bit tighter. She could see him mulling things over in his head and though she desperately wanted to know what he was thinking- where he was going with this- she couldn't disturb him.
He seemed to form some kind of conclusion in his head. ''Okay.'' He said, looking Andy back in the eyes. ''Then let's discuss it. Let's talk about you and her.''