For some reason this took absolutely forever, very sorry for that. Had to delete a bunch of shit because I wasn't happy with this and hopefully it's better for it.

Also, *SCREAMING*, I died fangirling over the picture of Rosa and Patricia on instagram today, RIP to me :))))

—The Fiddle—

Andy was leaning over a patient file at Lana's desk—pretending to be busy. In her mind she was replaying her conversation with Milo earlier that day. He hadn't exactly said yes to her being with Lu but he sounded a lot more open to it now than he had in the past—the only problem was that he wanted to know what exactly their relationship would entail and Andy had no idea how to answer that.

She didn't even know what she wanted out of their relationship, all she knew was that she had feelings for her partner—feelings that would not go away no matter how hard she tried to ignore them. Even now, whilst trying to figure out how to approach Lu about this she had somehow ended up staring at the Latina.

She had told Milo so casually that she would talk to Lu but now that the moment was here she couldn't find her words, not a problem she usually dealt with despite Lu's ability to make her that way.

''Deep thoughts huh?'' Peter asked as he slipped her the autopsy report of one of her patients. He could see the startled look on her face. ''You've been staring at that file for the past 10 minutes,'' he added. Following Andy's eye-line he ended up looking straight into Lu's office and that was all he needed to know. He had been more than once guilty of staring at attractive women and he had watched both Andy and Lu do plenty of staring for a long time now.

She could see the knowing look and grin on his face and huffed, ''I don't know what you're thinking but I'm sure it isn't it.'' She said, sure that he could never fathom what she was trying to get the courage for. He raised his eyebrows at her and she shook her head—walking over to Lu's office to prove her point. It wasn't until after her knock- whilst throwing Peter a look over her shoulder- and getting waved in that she remembered why she had been avoiding this.

How do you bring up to a woman you used to sleep with that your boyfriend might be okay with it if you started doing that again? Andy didn't even know if Lu still had feelings for her, or wanted anything to happen between them. The affectionate lingering touches certainly seemed to indicate that but knowing Lu they could be innocent as well.

Plus, all of that whilst being pregnant with another guy's baby. She couldn't believe what a mess her life had become.

Lu looked at Andy- who had her head poked through the slightly opened door- somewhat impatiently, her head propped up on her hand, ''yeah?''

Andy could see the exhaustion on Lu's face and didn't have to wonder why. It was Thursday; Lu had been up for 36 hours because of Wednesday night clinic. She stumbled looking for words, ''I can come back at another time,'' she suggested.

Lu let out a sigh and put down her pen, ''only if you come back with a 6'0'' Swedish masseur.'' She ran her hands through her hair and suppressed a yawn. All she wanted was to go home and go to sleep, but talking with Andy wasn't a terrible alternative, even if she had been pushing away her feelings since the little incident in front of Milo not too long ago.

Andy smiled, ''if I find him I'm keeping him myself,'' she answered, closing the door behind her. Her mind was racing, trying to figure out a way to naturally broach the subject. She had been pushing Lu away for so long now that it made it difficult to talk about it. ''How's the wedding planning going?'' She asked, figuring it was easier to first start out a bit more casual as opposed to immediately jumping in the deep end.

Lu groaned, ''very slowly,'' she said, ''Jonas isn't home all that often, and when he is home he's very distant…'' Considering how Andy had seemed to be distancing herself as well it made it even harder to talk about it, ''ever since he came to talk to you a few weeks ago… he said he was okay with us being together as long as he didn't know about it, but he's been asking about it a lot.''

Andy nodded as she sat down, ''he just wants you to himself,'' she said.

''He's not nearly as bad as Morton,'' Lu said. She had gained way more insight into Andy and Milo's relationship than she had ever intended, and seeing the amount of control Milo seemed to have over Andy at times was somewhat concerning. ''He is way too jealous and possessive.''

''He's different when you are around,'' Andy argued back. ''You guys are friends, you know what he was like when we weren't together,'' she said, ''you just happened to catch him during some bad moments.'' The memory of the night she and Milo had broken up—when Lu had come over and slept over—came to mind.

''I don't think he likes me very much at the moment,'' Lu said. They had been relatively good friends for quite a long time but their dynamic had shifted since he had come back. ''I don't think he and I can be friends as long as you two are together.'' She could see Andy start to protest but was quick to interrupt her, ''you've seen the way he acts when I'm around.''

Andy hesitated, ''that's only because he knows how I feel about you,'' she said.

Lu frowned, ''he knows we aren't together anymore, and haven't been for a long time,'' she said. ''When I just stand next to you he starts to get pissed off, even when I just look at you,'' she pursed her lips, ''I'm surprised he hasn't hit Nick to be honest.''

Andy wasn't surprised. Nick wasn't deemed a threat to their relationship, whereas Lu was an entirely different story. ''It's because he knows how I feel about you,'' she repeated, ''how I feel about you despite us not… being together.'' She had a straight face, in slight disbelief that she was actually doing this, waiting patiently for Lu to respond.

''What are you saying?'' Lu asked, her voice ever so slight thick. At first glance it sounded like Andy was admitting romantic feelings, but she had been burned too many times to take anything at face value.

Feeling like she might have to spell it out made Andy instinctually want to back-peddle a bit. ''You know I love you,'' she said, she had said it plenty of times before. ''As more than just a friend.''

Lu could feel a rush of emotions going through her and she didn't know right away how to respond. ''Does Milo know?'' Immediately remembering that Andy had just said that Milo knew.

''He came to me about this,'' Andy said. ''I told him how I feel about you and he said that he thinks I'm happier when I'm with you.''

''Are you two breaking up?'' Lu asked, very confused by it all. She knew how happy Andy had been when Milo decided to split up with Sandra, and she didn't quite understand what was happening between them now.

''We're not.''

''Then what are you saying?'' Lu asked. She could see Andy struggling to find the right words and it slowly dawned on her what was going on. ''You want to date both of us?'' Andy was looking down at her hands, not responding. ''And you think Milo would be okay with that? A week ago I touched your hair and he looked like he wanted to attack me,'' Lu said, ''I really don't think he's okay with this.''

''I don't know why he changed his mind,'' Andy said. Technically she wasn't even sure he had, he had only spoken about the possibility of Lu and her being maybe something that was yet to be determined. ''He just said that if that's what we both wanted then maybe we should discuss the logistics of what that would look like.''

''…Okay…''

''I guess I just want to know if that's something you'd be interested in.''

Her eyes were on the patient file, her pen in her hand, her brain desperately trying to focus on the task at hand, but her mind was pre-occupied. ''Let me think about it.'' That's all Lu had said. That had been the end of their conversation an hour earlier, and every second since then had passed by agonizingly slow.

She had phoned home to let Lizzy know she wouldn't be home for dinner. She had ignored every one of Milo's calls. She had filed and re-filed patient files, trying to keep herself busy and not let every possible answer Lu could possibly have consume her.

''I can't spend the rest of my life playing second fiddle to Milo.''

Andy looked up, confused. For over 60 minutes now every single one of her thoughts had been focused on what Lu could possibly say, and yet she hadn't noticed her standing in the doorway. ''Huh?''

Lu walked over to Andy, sitting down on the edge of the desk in front of Andy's office chair. ''I love you, and I want to be with you, but you're with Milo. You two are actually together, will probably get married one day. No matter how much I like you, and miss what we had, I can't go back to what we had. The sneaking around…'' she took Andy's hands into her own. ''If we are going to be together, I want us to actually be together.''

''Like an actual couple?'' Andy asked. Milo had said that he was open to listening to what they wanted, but she couldn't imagine him ever going for this.

Lu gave a slight nod. ''I want it to be more than sex,'' she said, ''I want to be able to hold your hand and have Milo be okay with that, I want to be able to go out for dinner, and actually have breakfast in the morning instead of having sex and immediately going our separate ways.''

''You know that I can't go public with our relationship,'' Andy said, figuring it was obvious. ''I have my daughters to consider, my career… I want to one day be surgeon general, I can't do that if I'm with you, that's just a scandal waiting to happen.''

Lu let go of Andy's hands and ran them through her hair, making up her mind. ''Then I guess you have some thinking to do.''

''The girls will be spending Christmas with their father so we'll have the whole house to ourselves,'' Andy said as she stirred the spaghetti. ''You'll be pleased to know I bought a new bed,'' she said with a smile.

Lizzy was already in bed, and Milo had decided to come over to keep her company as she made dinner at 10 in the evening. She was trying to enjoy her time with Milo—knowing that he was going to be very busy at work the next couple of weeks—and tried to push her conversation with Lu to the back of her mind. She had always known they could never actually work, she just hadn't expected herself to be the reason why.

''I can't wait,'' Milo said as he tasted some of the sauce. It sounded like Andy was telling him that they weren't going to spend any nights together until then—Christmas was over a month away—and he couldn't help but wonder if it had to do with Lu. She had told him that she was going to talk to Lu that day and he was dying to hear how it had gone. He wrapped his arms around Andy as he stood behind her, and buried his face in her neck.

Andy laughed at the ticklish sensation and tried to duck away from him. She didn't want to be loud and wake up Lizzy but Milo was making it difficult. She turned around and faced him, burying her face in his chest. ''I talked to Lu today,'' she said, finally acknowledging the elephant in the room.

By the tone of her voice he could already guess how it had gone, but he held out hope that he was wrong. ''How did it go?'' He asked.

Andy swallowed hard, ''she said that she loves me,'' she said. She could feel him start to pull away but held on to him even closer. She knew that the moment she looked into his eyes she was going to burst into tears. In her head she blamed it on the pregnancy.

Milo frowned, ''isn't that what you wanted?'' He asked her, rubbing circles on her back. Every single, touch, glance, smile… every single thing that happened between Andy and Lu made it evident that they wanted to be together, even he—who had been deeply in denial about it for a long time—could see it. He didn't understand Andy's reaction.

Andy finally pulled away, leaning back against the counter and looking at Milo, ''she wants us to be a couple, to have it be more than just sex,'' she said. ''She said that she doesn't want to feel like our relationship is secondary to what you and I have.'' She recapped the rest of her and Lu's conversation for Milo.

''It's too bad,'' Milo said as he watched her drain the spaghetti.

Andy threw him a look, ''what? You'd be okay with it?'' She asked him. ''With her and I going on dates and doing all the stuff you and I usually do together.''

Milo took a deep breath, ''I could do without that,'' he said. Andy nodded, that was the reaction she had expected in the first place. ''I just mean you two being together,'' he could see the confused look on Andy's face. ''You could go spend an evening with her and then come home and I could punish you,'' he said, a grin on his face as he rubbed her ass. ''Could be kind of fun.''

''You're gross,'' Andy said with a smile. ''Is that all you think about it?''

He kissed her softly, pushing her up against the wall. ''It is when I'm alone with you,'' he said.

Her smile quickly faded. ''Lizzy is upstairs,'' Andy said, she could feel him start to unbutton her shirt and softly pushed him away. He made it difficult to think straight, which was exactly what she needed to do with everything that was going on.

''If we're quiet she'll never find out,'' Milo said, still touching her as she scooped her dinner onto her plate.

''She could walk in on us,'' Andy said. Lizzy was a restless sleeper who found a million excuses each night to get up, it wasn't out of the question that she could wander downstairs.

''Oh come on,'' Milo said, ''you've been pushing me away so much lately, what is going on?'' He watched her as she walked around the kitchen and eventually settled down at the table to eat, all the while avoiding his eyes. ''Is it something I did? Is it to do with Lu?''

Andy swallowed her first bite and listened to his questions. This was unfair. She was making him feel bad and it didn't even have anything to do with him. She looked up and could feel tears burn her eyes; she opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by him.

''Just tell me what I did and I'll try to fix it,'' Milo said. He had hoped that allowing her to with Lu would be enough but evidently not. ''Talk to me.''

''Milo, I'm pregnant.''