Author's Note: HAPPY NEW YEAR! Hope you guys are ready for a great year! Here's a chapter to start it off right. Love you guys! Thanks so much to my faithful reviewers! I love having your input! Here's the big season finale! I hope I've done it justice! Next season is gonna get crazy fast! Em's big secret will be revealed EXTREMELY soon.
He's so cold… its cold in South Dakota. Every time my hand grazes across his forehead, I intertwine our hands, touch his arm. He's just cold. He doesn't open his eyes. His chest doesn't move in a steady rhythm. Sam's body is just… cold.
The floor of this run down cabin is even colder. I've sat on it for hours. Not moving. Refusing to leave his side, refusing to walk away. I can't. Even if I wanted to.
There's a small chair in the room next to the old mattress he's laid on. Dean stays in it most of the day. Sometimes he'll stand at the doorway… sometimes he'll come and sit next to me in the floor. But he never leaves either… for 3 days. We haven't left this room. Haven't left his side. How could we?
I keep replaying it in my head. The look on his face when Jake ripped the knife alone his spine. Dean's face filled with terror. The way my heart shattered when I fell to my knees next to him and Dean.
Bobby practically had to pull us out of the mud, make us leave that horrible place. Dean insisted on carrying Sam to the car himself. I didn't miss the way he cried from the time he stood up to when he laid his body on this old bed.
For hours, Dean held me as I cried, and then gathered myself… only to fall apart again. We haven't really spoken to each other. We've just suffered together in silence. Bobby has tried to talk to us each individually, and then together… but its always a short conversation. He's out at the moment getting more food. Trying to push us to eat, we haven't done that in 3 days either.
Drinking on the other hand… Dean's done a lot of that. It's the only way he can sleep… but even then. Its only for an hour or so. I doze in and out myself… but I never truly rest. I can't. I always wake up, and realize that this isn't the nightmare. That my brother. He's really and truly gone.
"Dean, Em." Bobby called as he walked into the cabin. Dean was standing in the doorway. Staring at Sam as I sat next to his body, running my fingers idly through his shaggy hair. "Brought you guys back some food."
"No thanks I'm fine." Dean answered as if it was an automated response. I looked up to him, and then past him to Bobby and just shook my head, turning back to Sam.
"You two really need to eat something."
"I said I'm fine." Dean replied as he took another swig of whatever bottle he could find in the trunk.
"Dean… can I talk to you for a minute?" Bobby asked, Dean turned out of the doorway and walked to stand on the other side of the table Bobby was standing next to. Although I'm sure he was being as quiet as he could… I still heard every word.
"Dean... I hate to bring this up, I really do. But don't you think maybe it's time... we bury Sam?"
"No." Dean answered with no hesitation. The thought made me want to vomit. I can't… I can't bury my brother.
"We could… maybe..."
"What? Torch his corpse?" I asked not looking up at them, but I still knew they heard me.
"Not yet Bobby." Dean answered.
"I want you and Emily to come with me."
"I'm not going anywhere."
"Neither am I." I added.
"Dean, please."
"Would you cut us some slack?" Dean asked, sounding more upset by the second.
"I just don't think you two should be alone, that's all. I gotta admit, I could use your help."
"Our help?" I scoffed. I stood and slowly walked towards them.
"Something big is going down darling– end-of-the world big."
"Well, then let it end!" Dean yelled loudly. Causing me to flinch.
"You don't mean that." Bobby whispered.
"You don't think so? Huh? You don't think I've given enough?" Dean said getting in Bobbys face. "You don't think I've paid enough? I'm done with it. All of it. And if you know what's good for you, you'd turn around, and get the hell out of here."
"Dean…" I said sadly, tears building as I stared at Bobby's broken hearted face. He shook his head no, unable to answer.
"Go!" Dean yelled as he shoved him.
"Dean! Stop it!" I cried. Bobby stood in front of him, unmoving. His face holding Dean's gaze.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Please, just go." Dean said softly before turning away from him and walking back to sit next to Sam. Kissing my forehead and whispering "sorry" in my ear as he walked by.
I looked back up to Bobby, I knew what he wanted.
"Bobby… I can't. You know I can't leave. I won't."
"I know darlin. I know." He said sadly as his eyes watered. He turned and left. I stood there until I heard his car pulling onto the gravel road.
I began to walk back towards my brothers but I stopped in the doorway when I heard Dean talking to Sam… I just… couldn't bear to interrupt him.
"You know, when we were little— you just started asking questions. How come we didn't have a mom anymore? Why do we always have to move around? Where'd Dad go when he'd take off for days at a time? I remember I begged you, "Quit asking, Sammy. Man, you don't want to know." I just wanted you to be a kid, you and Em both... Just for a little while longer. I always tried to protect you... Keep you safe... Dad didn't even have to tell me. It was just always my responsibility, you know? It's like I had one job... I had one job... And I screwed it up." Dean's voice broke and he paused, pain struck through my chest.
"I blew it. And for that, I'm sorry." He stopped again to wipe the tears falling down his face. I had to fight back tears of my own. "I guess that's what I do. I let down the people I love. I let Dad down. I let Emily down. And now I guess I'm just supposed to let you down, too."
"How can I? How am I supposed to live with that?"
I quietly let myself slide down the wall and used my hand to stifle my sobs as I heard Dean begin to cry.
"What am I supposed to do? Sammy. God… What am I supposed to do?" He sniffled.
"WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!" He stood and yelled. Kicking the chair across the room. He suddenly stormed out and grabbed his keys off the table.
"Dean! Wait… where are you going?!" I asked as I jumped up and followed him.
"Dean! Please answer me!" I begged running after him. "Dean!"
"I'm going to get him back Em… I'm gonna get him back." He said without stopping.
"Dean wait… I don't know what you're gonna do but I know there's nothing you can do at this moment that doesn't come with even bigger consequences… just stop! Talk to me! Please!"
Dean ignored me and moved to get in the car, I jumped and stood between him and the door, tears streaming down my face.
"Move." He said without meeting my eyes.
"No! Dean please, tell me what you're doing, let us just get a plan together!"
"MOVE!" He yelled as he pushed me aside and I stumbled to the ground. He didn't stop. He climbed in and started the car.
"Dean! Dean stop! Dean!" I slammed on the window and tried to stop him, but he slammed on the gas and peeled out, leaving me standing in the dust.
"Deeean!" I screamed. But he was already gone.
I fell into the dirt and released another round of sobs, out of frustration I screamed and slammed my fist against the ground.
It rumbled.
Then a tree to the side of the cabin fell over and toppled onto the fence. I stopped breathing and my body began to tremble… oh my god… was that me?
I took in a sharp breath and for the first time in 3 days it hit me… Sam dies. My abilities start. That must have been what I felt while I was chasing Jake.
"Oh god…" I whispered. I panicked and ran back into the house. Sitting on the ground next to Sam.
"Sammy! Please… I'm scared!" I cried. "I-I don't know what to do! I need you!"
His body held no response. I wrapped my hands around his cold arm and laid my head against him.
"Sammy… I need you." I sobbed into his sleeve, for seconds. Minutes. An hour? I'm not sure how long it was before it all stopped again.
I was truly alone. Sam was gone… Dean's God knows where…
I'm so lost. I don't know how to live without Sam. I thought losing my Daddy would kill me… but losing my brother was worse. It was like living while everything inside you writhes in pain all day, slowly dying without ever giving you the relief of actually dying.
The bed shifted… wait. I didn't move.
It did it again and I jumped, scrambling away, reaching for my knife. I stared in awe as I watched my brother's body begin to move, and then. His eyes shot open and he sat up and stared back at me.
"Em?! What's wrong?" He asked. I couldn't answer. I was frozen. Frozen and terrified. What the hell just happened… is this my brother?
"Emily! What's going on?" He asked again. I tried to speak, but nothing came out, I couldn't move. I just sat there against the wall, shaking like a leaf with my knife held out in front of me defensively. Sam stiffly began to move and winced as he stood, he stumbled forward and I shrunk back into the corner as far as I could. He towered over me.
"Emily sweetheart its just me… talk to me here, what the hells going on?" He whispered as he crouched down in front of me.
"S-S…Sammy?" I asked cautiously.
"Yeah babygirl, its me." He answered confused.
"Sammy…" I sighed as I dropped the knife and threw myself into his arms, knocking him and I both backwards. I clutched him to me, arms wrapped around every inch of him that I could reach. Savoring the motion of his breathing, the feel of his heartbeat against my ear, he's alive… oh my God. He's alive. I cried, but this time tears of joy and relief!
Dean.
I felt sick all over again… what the hell did he do.
"Emily baby you're hurting me." Sam grimaced.
"Oh.. I'm. I'm so sorry. Sam. I'm so sorry." I said sitting up and grabbing his face in my hands. Kissing his cheek roughly.
"Emily, what the hell… what's gotten into you?" He asked.
"Sam… what's the last thing you remember?"
"Um… Dean showed up… then there was this. White hot pain in my back… that's about it?"
"Right… Jake." I slowly said.
"What happened Emily?" Sam asked seriously. I took a deep breath and was fixing to answer him when I heard the impala pull up. I swung my head around as footsteps quickly make their way through the cabin, Dean busted through the door.
Sam stood slowly and stiffly.
"Sammy? Thank god." Dean smiled in relief, not even looking at me as he walked up and pulled Sam into a vice grip hug.
"Owwww. Uh, Dean..." Sam groaned.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, man. I'm just... I'm just happy to see you up and around, that's all." Dean said with a smile. Sam looked confused. "Come on, sit down." He led Sam over to the table in the kitchen area. I sat there in shock.
"Okay. Dean... what happened to me?"
"That— that kid, stabbed you in the back. You lost a lot of blood, you know... It was pretty touch and go for awhile."
I stood up and finally entered the kitchen. What the hell is Dean doing…
"But Dean, you can't— you can't patch up a wound that bad." Sam said confused still.
"No, Bobby could. Who was that kid, anyway?"
"His name's Jake. Did you get him?"
"No, he disappeared into the woods." I answered, staring at Dean questioningly. He glanced at me and quickly looked away.
"We got to find him, Dean. And I swear I'm gonna tear that son of a bitch apart." Sam stood and said angrily, catching Dean and I both off guard.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy, Van Damme. You just woke up, all right? Let's get you something to eat. Huh? You want something to eat?"
Sam nodded in response.
"I'm starving. Come on." Dean said with a grin.
I watched him and shook my head in disgust. How can he eat right now? What the hell has he done?
"Here uh, Bobby brought us some chicken… um. I think there's a pizza and some drinks over here." Dean said walking around the table and pushing things towards Sam, who chuckled at his excitement. He looked at me and I faked a smile, I really am SO happy that Sam is alive. But Dean's hiding something.
"I'm gonna run to the car and grab a beer, you want a beer?" Dean asked Sam.
"Yeah sure, sounds great."
Dean quickly moved towards the door.
"Hey Sammy I'm gonna run out there with Dean and grab a drink, okay?"
"Yeah, sure Em… are you okay?"
"Yeah. Yeah… you just. Uh. Gave me a real scare Sammy. I thought I lost you."
"Well, I'm still here kiddo. Its gonna be okay."
"Yeah." I gave a brief smile before walking outside. I found Dean digging in the trunk. I stopped and took a deep breath before walking around to stand beside him.
"Dean Winchester… what did you do?" I asked glaring at him. He glanced at me, but otherwise avoided meeting my eyes.
"I uh, I saved him Em… I got him back. But. I don't think there's really a need to tell him what happened okay? Lets just stick with the story we've got. Okay? I'll fill Bobby in."
"Dammit Dean… what did you do!" I said louder. He sighed and his shoulders slumped slightly. He stopped digging around in the trunk and finally looked at me.
"Emily… I couldn't let him die. I couldn't watch you lose him, I couldn't lose him. Please. Don't tell him."
The gnawing in my stomach grew stronger with each word out of his mouth. His pleading tone making a lump grow in my throat. Tears stung my eyes. I was almost too afraid to say the words.
"Dean… did- did you." I sucked in a sharp breath. He stared at me. Nothing in his face was denying it… no. God please no. Anything but this.
"…Did you make a deal?" I asked as the lump in my throat cut each word.
Dean's eyes watered, but his mouth didn't move to form the words.
"Oh God… Dean. No..no no." I cried leaning over and grabbing my stomach. I turned away from him feeling the vomit creep up my throat. I moved towards the edge of the bushes and heaved over and over again. Dean moved to come behind me and hold my hair. I stood and moved to push him away, but before my hand made contact he was thrown backwards and onto the ground. He looked up to me in shock. Unsure of what the just happened… I began to shake, staring between him on the ground and my hands.
"Oh my God… " I began to hyperventilate. The breaths coming shorter and shorter as they went. Dean stood and moved to hold me. I stopped him and pulled back.
"Don't touch me!" I yelled angrily. I wrapped my arms around myself and tried to focus on my breathing hearing Dean's voice in my ear.
"Emily, babygirl please… you have to understand. I-I had to save him." He begged.
"Dean how could you do this?! To me, to Sam?! I mean what the hell is wrong with you! You were DEVESTATED when you found out about Daddy. How do you think Sam's gonna feel!" I yelled.
A tear fell down his cheek.
"Emily, you can't tell him. Please… I'm begging you. Don't tell him." He asked with a shaky voice.
"Dean… what about me?" I asked as tears fell down my face.
"Emily I-"
"Don't… don't." I cried before walking away from him and turning back towards the house. I walked up the steps and realized walking inside to Sam like this won't do any good. I wiped my eyes and took some deep breaths to recompose myself. When I went inside I went straight to the bathroom with a sink that barely ran, but I took what little cold water I could get and splashed it on my face, trying to clear the redness. It took me a few minutes, but eventually it began to fade.
I walked back out and found the boys at the table, Dean looked at me, with hidden words screaming at me from his eyes. Begging me to go with this lie, to keep this from Sam. I looked away from him and to Sam, who looked at me concerned. I gave him a brief smile and sat down, he had set me out a piece of pizza and a root beer between him and Dean.
"You okay Em?" Sam asked.
"Yeah. Sam… I'm just not that hungry right now. Just. Tired I guess." I said laying my head against his shoulder. He leaned down and kissed the top of my head.
"So. What the hell happened in that town?" Dean asked, getting Sam's attention.
"Man. I don't even know where to start." Sam sighed.
"They were slaughtering kids like Sam and me. They would bring them in 3 or 4 at a time until only one was left." I answered without looking up at the boys. Instead I stared at the 2 day old piece of pizza in front of me.
"Yeah man. It was crazy." Sam added.
"Anyone we know there?" Dean asked.
"Ava was actually there, reigning champion until we came along believe it or not."
"…Andy was there too." I added sadly. Sam put his arm around me.
"Wait, they killed Andy?!" Dean asked. "That guy was like the freaking nerdy white version of Bob Marley."
"Ava tore him to shreds." I said biting back tears.
"I'm sorry kiddo." Dean said reaching out to me.
"Don't." I said shooting my eyes at him. He looked hurt and panicked all at the same time, afraid I was fixing to spill his little secret.
"Emily what's wrong with you?" Sam asked.
"Nothing. I… I just. I'm just tired. Just. Keep talking, I'm paying attention." I said putting my head in my hands. Avoiding looking at either of them.
Sam continued to explain in detail how we ended up in the town and the events that then pursued. Dean and him conversed. I chewed on the pizza, eating almost half of it by the time they finished talking.
"Wait, Sam… what about that dream you said you had before Ava disappeared?" I asked remembering he told me he had found out something big.
"Oh, Um… I don't. I don't remember Em." He answered quickly. Obviously lying. I expected Dean to push, but instead he nodded… I guess he's feeling guilty about a little white lie of his own. Instead of causing more drama right now. I just dropped it. Keeping it at the back of my mind for now.
"How'd you find us?" Sam asked Dean.
"Oh um, I called Bobby… he had an idea. We um… we were gonna get some help from Ash. He said he had an idea on where you might be. But when we got there the roadhouse was gone. Along with everyone in it."
"What?" Sam asked shocked. This caught my attention enough for me to look up at Dean.
"Ash is dead?" I asked.
"Yeah kiddo. I'm guessing Ellen too, but I couldn't identify the rest of the bodies. But. I know Ash is dead."
"You know they were probably targeted for helping us track the demon, right?" I asked him harshly. "I mean, if we hadn't gotten those poor people involved they'd still be alive!" I said standing up and yelling at Dean.
"Whoa Em calm down." Sam said putting a hand on my shoulder. I shrugged it off.
"We should've been able to protect Andy! We should've saved him! Instead, we just let everyone around us die! EVERYONE!" I screamed. Feeling fresh tears fall to the table below me. Dean never tore away from my gaze. Instead he took it all without saying a word.
I spun and shoved the chair behind me backwards, shuffling past it and Sam.
"Emily wait." Sam called after me.
"Sam, don't… just let her go." Dean said quickly after, stopping him from coming after me.
I made my way outside and locked myself in the backseat of the impala. My breath was coming shorter and faster, I crumbled into a ball and buried my face in my knees. I screamed, and cried… letting all this pent up emotion spill while I was alone. Where Sam couldn't ask questions, where I wouldn't have to lie for Dean. Where I could face how truly fucked up my life has just become. All in a matter of days… nothing will ever be the same.
"Why are you doing this to us?!" I screamed looking up… wondering if there was someone really listening. Or if everything I'd believed was a lie.
I stayed there until I dozed off, laying in the seat with my jacket as a pillow. I had a dreamless sleep thankfully. Not that I'm sure a nightmare could be worse than my life at the moment. When I woke I was being gently rattled back and forth, old county roads aren't always the smoothest. It didn't take me long to realize that we were driving, leaving that horrible cabin, away from that horrible town. I didn't want the boys to know I was awake. I repositioned and quietly stretched my legs, well… until I successfully knocked something off the seat and it landed to the floor with a thud, causing both of them to look back.
"Hey kiddo you up?" Sam asked. I smiled slightly and nodded.
"Where are we?" I asked.
"I don't know, passing through some town on the way to Bobby's."
"How long have I been asleep?"
"About 6 hours." Dean answered watching me carefully through the rearview mirror. Every time I link eyes with him its like someone's ripped into my chest, digging around for scraps of what's left. I looked away after a minute. Unable to bear the pain.
"You feeling better Em?" Sam asked optimistically.
"Yeah, yeah I'm good… sorry. I just. Needed to sleep I guess. How much farther to Bobby's?"
"About an hour." Dean answered. This time I didn't meet his gaze. Instead I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around Sam, letting them rest on his broad shoulders. I leaned my head against the back of his neck. Taking in that he really is alive. I have my Sammy back. God… I needed him.
But I need Dean too…
Instead of pulling away or asking questions, Sam grabbed my hands and pulled them forward. Signaling for me to come sit up front. I was hesitant, but obliged silently, curling up into his side. Listening to him and Dean bicker about music choices on the radio.
All I can think about is how insignificant this all is. I closed my eyes and prayed that the hour would pass quickly, unsure that I'd be able to bite my tongue for long.
If you thought my face was priceless, then you should've seen Bobby's. The color dropped from his face as he opened the door and his eyes focused on Sam. A nervous Dean stood behind me, knowing that Bobby too would not be happy with what he's done.
"Hey, Bobby." Dean said barely looking up from the ground.
"Hey, Bobby." Sam smiled.
"Sam. It's good to ... see you up and around." Bobby replied hesitantly.
"Yeah ... thanks for patching me up." Sam said as he stepped past Bobby and into the house. Dean followed, and then me. Bobby looked between the two of us accusingly.
"Don't mention it." He mumbled.
"Well Sam's better. And we're back in it now, so... what do you know?" Dean said before Bobby could spill his dirty little secret.
"Well, I found something. But I'm not sure what the hell it means."
"What is it?" Sam asked.
"Demonic omens... like a frickin' tidal wave. Cattle deaths. Lightning storms. They skyrocketed from out of nowhere. Here." He pointed on a map he laid on the table in front of us. "All around here, except for one place... Southern Wyoming."
"Wyoming?" Dean asked confused.
"Yeah. That one area's totally clean – spotless. It's almost as if..."
"What?"
"The demons are surrounding it." I answered. "But you don't know why?" I looked up and asked.
"No, and by this point my eyes are swimming. Sam, would you take a look at it? Maybe you could catch something I couldn't."
"Yeah, sure." Sam smiled pulling the map towards him.
"Come on, Dean. I got some more books in the truck. Help me lug 'em in. Em you come too. Gotta trinket or two out here for ya." Bobby said glaring at us. Sam missed this as he buried himself into the map. I watched Dean swallow a lump in his throat and follow Bobby out, me not far behind.
"You stupid ass! What did you two do?" Bobby demanded once we reached the junk yard. Dean looked away, I felt tears work themselves back to my eyes. Forcing myself to hold them back.
"What did you do?!" Bobby yelled pushing Dean. He then turned and looked at me, unfortunately my face doesn't lie. He quickly realized why I was so upset and turned back to Dean.
"You made a deal... For Sam, didn't you? How long did they give you?" He asked getting in Dean's face. I moved to cover my mouth with my hand. Refusing to cry anymore in front of Dean. Not over this.
"Bobby." Dean mumbled.
"How long?!"
"One year."
The words fell out of his mouth and my breath left my body, one year… only one year. That's barely days, weeks… its nothing. I quickly turned away from them, hiding my reaction.
"Damn it, Dean." Bobby said shakily.
"Which is why we gotta find this yellow-eyed son of a bitch. That's why I'm gonna kill him myself. I mean, I got nothing to lose now, right?" Dean asked. Bobby grabbed him by the collar and shook him.
"I could throttle you!" He said with a strained voice, obviously upset.
"What, and send me downstairs ahead of schedule?"
Knives… daggers, blades. Whatever you wanna call them. Every time Dean speaks it only makes it worse. I choked back a sob and took in a deep breath through my nose. Fighting so hard not to lose it all over again.
"What is it with you Winchesters, huh? You, your dad. You're both just itching to throw yourselves down the pit."
"That's my point. Dad brought me back, Bobby. I'm not even supposed to be here. At least this way, something good could come out of it, you know? I-I-It's like my life could mean something." Dean said weakly.
"What? And it didn't before?! Have you got that low of an opinion of yourself? Are you that screwed in the head?!"
"I couldn't let him die, Bobby. I couldn't. He's our brother." Dean said, choking on the words.
"How is your brother gonna feel when he knows your going to hell? How'd you feel when you knew your dad went for you? How do you think that little girl right there feels right now?"
I'm sure Bobby was pointing at me, but I couldn't bear to turn around and face them. I just couldn't.
"You can't tell him. You take a shot at me, whatever you got to do, but please don't tell him." Dean begged.
Before Bobby could respond there was the sound of movement close by, metal clinking together. I spun and Bobby grabbed me, pulling me to duck behind a car with him and Dean. We waited as the sound grew closer. A shadow approached and Dean and Bobby both jumped out as it came around the corner.
"Ellen?" Dean said shocked as he realized who they were holding. Ellen nods and begins to cry. Dean and her hug tightly. "Ellen. Oh, God." Dean breathed.
I watched Dean and Ellen for just a moment, then I looked up to Bobby. Who like my brothers could more often than not read me like an open book. He looked at me with such… pity. Such worry, sadness, and most of all pain. I quickly looked away and began to walk back towards the house. I just can't do this right now.
I quickly ascended the steps, shutting the door to the only bedroom I've ever been able to claim as my own. I just… I can't be with them right now. I can't function normally. I can't focus. I can hardly breathe, let alone help anyone right now. I can't lie to Sam. I can't hardly look at him.
I listened closely as they all discussed what had been found at the roadhouse, though their voices were mostly quiet and muffled I could make out about half of it, giving me a decent idea of what was going on. I eventually gave up. The sun was setting and painted the sky fuchsia, to sky blue, and to a deep orange that was almost red. I climbed out the second story window and sat on the roof, watching the colors blend and fade. It wasn't long before there was knocking at the bedroom door. Lack of response caused whoever it was to open the door and walk towards the open window. I stared straight ahead as Dean poked his head through the open window and sighed. He then climbed and moved to sit next to me.
"Kiddo… we need to talk about this."
I didn't respond.
"I know you're hurting, and I know that its my fault. I know you can't hardly stand to look at me right now. But we've got a lead on the demon, on Jake. If we're gonna take these bitches down then I need you on the team. We can't do it without you."
I still couldn't pry my mouth open.
"Emily. Please… Just give me something."
"I-I don't know what you want from me." I whispered still refusing to look at him.
"I want you to come and be a part of this fight. I want you to be there when we finally end this. Cause if it's the last thing I do, I'm gonna watch the life fade from that yellow eyed son of a bitch."
"Would you stop!" I finally turned to him and yelled. "How the hell am I supposed to be able to go out there and focus on anything other than the fact that I get to watch you die! That you CHOSE to leave me."
"Emily, its not like that babygirl I swear, I just… I couldn't let him die."
"Neither could I but dammit Dean you could have talked to me! Told me what you were thinking! We could have gone together and bargained for something OTHER than your fucking soul! We could've found another way! Together! But no… no. Dean Winchester doesn't think. He just fucking acts. And on top of all this… Dean. Something's happening to me. I am so scared… but I can't even talk about it without giving away the fact that Sam was dead! So… I'll just what, hide this? For how long? How do we even know what the hell this is?! What if I start having visions? Huh, What do we tell Sam then?!"
"Em I'm sorr-"
"Don't. Just… don't Dean. Just go away." I said trying not to let him hear the cracking in my voice.
He ran his hand through his hair before climbing back inside the window. It wasn't even a minute later before someone else sat next to me on the roof.
"Well I assume you heard all that."
"Yeah darling, I did." Bobby said looking out at the darkening sky. "Emily, I know he's really messed this one up. But he's not wrong when he says this is our chance. We finally have the upper hand. And it really is gonna take all of us. We could really use a hand here."
"Bobby I don't know if I can… I feel like everything in my life has crumbled over the last few days. I'm scared." I whispered.
"C'mere darling." Bobby out stretched his arm and I moved to curl underneath it. Seeking comfort form someone who know what's going on and understands how it all effects me. Bobby is the only one I have right now. Sam is in the dark… I can't talk to Dean right now. All I have is Bobby.
"I won't lie to you Em, life's not gonna be easy for a while. Its gonna be a rough ride. But if there is anyone who can handle it, it'd sure as hell be a Winchester."
I felt tears sting my eyes again.
"Bobby… I can't lose him. I don't know what to do. But I'm so happy to have Sam back… I just. I can't figure out what emotion trumps the other. I just don't know how to process any of this."
"I wish I knew what to tell you. But I don't. There's not manual on how to handle something like this. But I know you don't have to do this alone. You're brothers may be idjits, but they love you more than anything. Even if they don't always show it."
"I know." I whispered wiping my face and sniffing back more tears.
"So… have you… experienced anything odd, since Sam died."
"Yeah, actually… I don't really understand it. I'm not sure how to explain it, but its there."
"Well Em, keep me updated and I'll help you figure them out any way I can. I promise."
"Thanks Uncle Bobby."
"No problem darling, now come on. Game face on, we got a job to do."
I nodded and smiled briefly before following Bobby back inside. I cleared my face and walked back out to join my brothers and Ellen as we packed our bags and loaded back into the impala. Ellen and Bobby rode together. I went to sit in the backseat, but Sam motioned for me to climb up front with him and Dean. I hesitated, then I walked forward and wrapped my arms around him. He hugged me back, but I didn't miss the confusion on his face when I pulled away and sat in the back seat instead.
The drive to the cemetery was quiet. Everyone mentally preparing themselves for what was to come. The boys filled me in on any information I missed. We were planning on taking down Jake. We assume yellow eyes is using him to get into this devil's trap, and get to whatever its protecting.
Dean positioned us each with gun's ready so that we could wait for Jake to arrive. From behind the large tombstone I could see Dean leaned against a tree, Sam, Bobby, and Ellen were out of my line of sight. I looked up to Dean, he stared back at me. Its like we don't even know how to talk to each other anymore. He finally mouthed the words "I'm sorry", but our attention was quickly redirected to the footsteps. I looked over and watched as Jake entered the cemetery.
It took everything in me not to lunge at him and rip his throat out with my bare hands… HE killed Sam. HE is the reason that Dean had to sell his soul. Jake has ruined my life… and I'm going to tear him to shreds.
"Howdy, Jake." Sam said coming out from behind a crypt, the rest of us showed ourselves as well, showing Jake that he was surrounded, guns in the air.
"Wait... you were dead. I killed you." Jake said nervously looking at Sam as if he was seeing a ghost. Dean and I exchanged nervous looks, but Sam didn't miss a beat.
"Yeah? Well next time, finish the job." Sam mocked.
"I did! I cut clean through your spinal cord, man. You can't be alive. You can't be." Jake said shaking his head. Sam glanced at Dean and I but quickly went back to Jake.
"Okay, just take it real easy there, son." Bobby said trying to control the situation.
"And if I don't?"
"Wait and see." I growled. I'm begging to get my hands on him.
"What, you a hardass all of a sudden? What are you gonna do— kill me?" He looked at me and laughed.
"When I get my hands on you, you're going to beg for death."
"You had your chance. You couldn't catch me."
"I won't make that mistake twice." I said with a smirk.
Jake laughed.
"What are you smiling at, you little bitch?" Dean asked. Jake looked over to Ellen.
"Hey Lady, do me a favor. Put that gun to your head." I shot eyes to Ellen who's face faltered and her hand shakily pointed the gun at her temple. Fuck. "See that Ava girl was right. Once you give in to it, there's all sorts of new Jedi mind tricks you can learn."
"Let her go." Sam called out.
"Shoot him." Ellen said with a trembling tone.
"You'll be mopping up skull before you get a shot off. Everybody, put your guns down. Except you, sweetheart." Jake smiled sickly at Ellen. Everyone but me dropped their gun.
"Emily. Drop it!" Dean commanded.
My eyes stayed fiercely glued to Jake's face. Everything in my wanted to pull the trigger, blast a hole in his leg and knock him to the ground so that I could kill him with my bare hands.
"Emily!" Bobby called. I snapped out of my thoughts and dropped the gun to the ground. My eyes never leaving Jake's.
"Okay. Thank you." He smiled. He quickly turned and pulled a colt, no. It's THE colt, from his pocket and he inserted the barrel into the center of the large crypt. Dean and Bobby jumped for Ellen and moved the gun away seconds before it went off, Sam reached up and shot Jake in the back, I lunged for him. Tackling Jake to the ground, preventing Sam from being able to get another shot off without risking hitting me.
"Emily! Move!" Sam yelled, but I wasn't leaving. This bastard is all mine. He moved to where he was now on top of me and punched me, hard. My head snapped to the right, but there wasn't any pain. Just red. Blind rage. I reared back and punched him, knocking him to the ground. I quickly straddled him and hit him. Then again… and again… and again. Grabbing him by the neck and slamming his head into the ground. When he was efficiently subdued, but conscious I stopped.
I don't know how I knew what I was doing… I just know everything in me wanted to rip out his beating heart. I put my hand over the left side of his chest, nails digging into the skin, causing blood to seep through. His eyes went wide. Its like this force… this energy. My hand burned red hot, I could feel his heart rapidly beating against the palm of my hand.
"Please... stop. Please." Jake gasped for air.
"I told you that you were gonna beg me for death." I whispered, my voice laced with acid. I twisted and crumbled my fist and watched as he died, his face etched in pain.
I removed my shaking hand from his chest and looked up. Everyone stared at me… with… shock? Fear? I honestly don't know how to describe it.
Like a flood it all it hit me at once… what the hell did I just do…. How the hell did I do it? Oh god… what the hell is wrong with me? I looked back up to my brothers. Dean slowly approached me with hands raised, as if I was holding a bomb.
"I.. I. I don't know what happened." I said shakily as he knelt down in front of me and wrapped my shaking hands in one of his own.
"Its okay… we're gonna be okay." He said cupping my chin with his other hand. We both shot our heads towards the crypt as it began to rumble. The pieces in the center all began to turn in opposite directions.
"Oh, no." Bobby said staring at it.
"Bobby, what is it?" Ellen asked.
"It's hell." Bobby said with wide eyes. Dean jumped up and pulled the colt out of the crypt, but it was too late. It was opening already.
"Take cover— now!" Bobby yelled. Dean grabbed me and we all dove behind tombstones, ducking down and taking cover. Dean covered me, wedging me between the stone and his body. Sam was at a tombstone next to us.
"What the hell just happened?!" Dean yelled over to Bobby and Ellen on our other side.
"That's a devil's gate. A damn door to hell."
I looked over the tombstone and watched as demon after demon flew out of the door in clouds of black smoke. With it were spirits, running, fleeing… escaping hell.
"Come on! We gotta shut that gate!" Ellen called as her Bobby and Sam all moved and ran towards the doors, pushing against them. I went to stand but Dean grabbed my arm.
"If the demon gave this to Jake... then maybe..." He mumbled looking between me and the colt in his hand that still had one bullet left. Thunder crashed and I looked behind Dean, bright yellow eyes met mine.
"Dean!" I yelled, he turned to see him as well. The demon flung the colt out of Dean's hands.
"Boys shouldn't play with Daddy's guns." He flings his hands and sends Dean flying through the air, smacking into a tombstone, he laid on the ground stunned.
"Dean!" I yelled and moved to run towards him, but yellow eyes pinned me against a tree.
"Emily!" Sam called, and then he ran towards us as well, but was pinned too.
"I'll get to you in a minute, champ. But I'm proud of you— knew you had it in you." He smiled at Sam.
Dean began to try and stand up, but the demon flung him through the air again.
"Sit a spell. So, Dean... I gotta thank you. You see, demons can't resurrect people, unless a deal is made. I know, red tape— it'll make you nuts. But thanks to you, Sammy's back in rotation." Yellow eyes said approaching him. I looked over to Sam, he was across the field and thankfully couldn't hear what was being said. But I could.
"Now, I wasn't counting on that, but I'm glad. I liked him better than Jake, anyhow. Tell me— have you ever heard the expression, If a deal sounds too good to be true, it probably is?"
"You call that deal good?" Dean asked him.
"Well, it's a better shake than your dad ever got. And you never wondered why? I'm surprised at you. I mean… here you are worried about bringing Sam back to life. But have you even considered what's been unleashed in his death?"
Both Dean and yellow eyes turn to look at me. Yellow eyes chuckled.
"Besides, how certain are you that what you brought back, is 100%, pure, Sam? You of all people should know, that's what's dead, should stay dead. Anyway... thanks a bunch. Not only to I have Sam back on the field but I've got Emily out there too. Even I don't know what she's truly capable of… it'd be fun to find out though right? I mean did you see what she did to Jake? Interesting isnt' it? I knew I kept you alive for some reason. Until now, anyway. I couldn't have done it without your pathetic, self-loathing, self-destructive desire to sacrifice yourself for your family." The demon cocked the gun and aimed it at Dean, but just as he raised the gun. Someone appeared behind him.
"Daddy." I whispered. Dean's eyes locked on Dad as he grabbed the yellow eyed demon and wrestled with the cloud of black smoke as the body he was possessing fell to the ground. The smoke expanded and threw Daddy to the ground. Then it quickly filled the body again and his eyes opened to reveal that same familiar bright yellow glow.
He stood and turned to face Dean just as he cocked the gun, firing the last bullet through yellow eye's chest. I stood in awe and watched as electricity shot through his body, lightning striking from the sky. The bright yellow color faded out to brown and his body fell to the ground. Sam and I both dropped to the ground. I stood and hadn't even realized up until now that Ellen and Bobby had closed the gate.
I took small steps towards Dean… and my Daddy. He stood tall, proud. Wearing a smile I hadn't seen in what felt like years. Sam walked up beside us. Daddy placed a hand on Dean's shoulder and smiled at him as a tear fell down his cheek. Not that any of the Winchester's had a dry eye at the moment. He then leaned down and kissed me on the cheek.
He looked up to Sam and gave a proud nod. Tears streamed down Sam's face. I linked my hand with his, his squeezed it tightly. Daddy stepped backwards, looking at us all with proud eyes. Dean wrapped an arm over my shoulder as we watched Daddy fade into a bright white light. And all over again… he was gone.
I turned into Sam and cried… relief. Pain. Fear. Happiness. Anger. It was like every emotion I had hit me all at one time. I just… don't know how to process any of it. So for now I'll just stay cradled against my brother, for as long as he'll allow me.
"Well, check that off the to-do list." Dean chuckled slightly as we all gazed down at yellow eye's body.
"You did it." Sam smiled with bright eyes. I clung against him and his arms squeezed me slightly.
"I didn't do it alone." Dean said looking between Sam and I.
"Do you think Daddy really climbed out of hell?" I asked.
"The door was open. If anyone's stubborn enough to do it... it would be him." Dean replied.
"Where do you think he is now?" I asked.
"I don't know Em. I kind of can't believe it, Dean. I mean... our whole lives, everything... has been prepping for this, and now I... I kind of don't know what to say." Sam chuckled.
"I do." He leaned down to hover over the body. "That was for our mom... you son of a bitch."
We all began to walk back towards the impala. I finally released Sam and leaned against it as Dean opened his door.
"You know, when Jake saw me... it was like he saw a ghost." Sam said looking between me and Dean. I immediately cut my eyes to the ground. Dean stopped and shut the door he opened. "I mean, hell, you heard him, Dean. He said he killed me."
"Glad he was wrong." Dean quickly answered.
"I don't think he was. What happened? After I was stabbed?" Sam said turning to me, I looked anywhere but at him.
"We already told you." I whispered.
"Not everything. Emily… I saw what you did to Jake. You've been a mess ever since I woke up. You've been avoiding talking to me, looking at me, you think I can't tell when you lie? Both of you… tell me the truth. Now."
"Sam, we just killed the demon. Can we celebrate for a minute?" Dean asked.
"Did I die?" Sam asked boldly. Looking between Dean and I. I panicked and fidgeted, moving to walk away but Sam grabbed me.
"Sam please let me go." I cried not looking at him. He finally did.
"Well I guess that answers that question." Sam sighed, I turned around to look at him and Dean.
"Oh, come on. That means nothing. She's been stressed out and upset!"
"Did you sell your soul for me, like Dad did for you?" He asked angrily.
"Oh, come on! No!" Dean argued.
"Tell me the truth." Sam demanded… Dean's eyes watered slightly and he sniffled. I put my hand over my mouth to hide my face. Sam watched me, and then turned back to Dean.
"Dean, tell me the truth." He said calm yet sternly.
"Sam..."
"How long do you get?" Sam asked with his voice cracking… causing the lump in my throat to rise.
"One year. I got one year."
"You shouldn't've done that. How could you do that?" Sam asked fighting back tears of his own.
"Don't get mad at me too. Don't you do that. I had to. I had to look out for you. That's my job." Dean begged.
"And what do you think my job is?"
"What?"
"You've saved my life over and over. Me and Em both. I mean, you sacrifice everything for us. Don't you think we'd do the same for you? You're our big brother. There's nothing we wouldn't do for you. And I don't care what it takes, I'm gonna get you out of this. Guess we gotta save your ass for a change. Right Em?" Sam asked turning towards me. I nodded, unable to speak without crying. He out stretched his hand and I slowly walked forward. He put an arm around me and turned us back to Dean.
"We're gonna save you Dean."
"Yeah." Dean smiled briefly. Ellen and Bobby began to walk towards us.
"Well... Yellow-Eyed Demon might be dead. But a lot more got through that gate." Ellen said.
"How many you think?" Dean asked.
"Hundred. Maybe two hundred. It's an army. He's unleashed an army." Sam mumbled. I leaned my head against his chest, his voice hummed against my ear.
"Hope to hell you three are ready. 'Cause the war has just begun."
"Well, then ..." Dean smiled looking over to Sam and I. "We got work to do."