Author's Note: Okay guys! I know this chapter isn't super long, but I didn't want to leave you guys hanging any longer and I did say I was gonna add some original chapters.….. DRUM ROLL PLEASE!
Disclaimer: I own nothing but Emily- also there may be some graphic content in this chapter, if you're squeamish then I apologize in advance. Please feel free to skip parts of this chapter.
"When Emily was 12… about a year or so after you left. Her, Dad and I were working a job in Nebraska. Dad thought he had a lead and left me and Em alone for the night."
Hearing Dean's voice… knowing where this is going. Sends chills down my spine. It feels like razors. Threatening to cut open the wounds again. To allow me to remember… to feel it. The fear. I quickly refilled my glass with the dark whiskey. Dean looked over to me with pity. I nodded, pushing him to continue. I think its better if he starts this off.
"We got in this big fight…" he continued.
*FLASHBACK*
(Emily's POV)
"You know if you weren't such a whiny brat all the dam time then maybe Dad would take us with him more often, I can't believe I got stuck babysitting again while he gets all the action."
"Yeah well maybe if you weren't such an ass kisser then Dad would ask you to come along. I'm 12. I can babysit myself!"
"HEY! Watch your mouth!"
"Screw you!"
"I swear, if you don't drop the attitude then I'm gonna pull this car over and leave you on the side of the road here in BFE!"
"Good! Maybe the monster will come find me!" I screamed back, tears building in my eyes. I wish Sam was here… Sam never got mad when he had to stay behind with me. Sam never blamed it on me… I miss him so much.
"Oh shut up, No monster would want to eat you. It'd spit you back out and drop you off at our doorstep."
My eyes stung, I felt so ashamed. He's right… no one would want me. Sam left me… Dad leaves me behind all the time. Dean used to… but now I'm just his burden. My pain and anger mixed and I reached for the door knob, opening it as Dean drove down the road.
"Whoa! Hey! What the hell are you doing?!" He asked slamming on the breaks and reaching over, closing the door I just opened.
"Let me out!" I screamed going to open it again, he brought the car to a complete stop.
"Fine! You want out, then go. Get yourself eaten by a fricken monster!"
I stared at him… is he seriously going to leave me out here in the middle of the night alone?!
"I said get out!" He screamed. I turned and opened the door, when I stood I reached for my gun in the glove box, I glared at Dean as I slammed the door shut and watched as he peeled out and drove away. The red taillights faded in the distance and I realized I was truly alone. I burst into tears. I pulled out my phone and dialed the one person who I really truly wanted. Sam.
It rang, again and again. Then straight to voicemail. I tried twice more before giving up. I remembered we were about 20 minutes outside of town, that was driving distance. So I should be able to walk back within a couple of hours, I pulled up my hood, tucked my gun in my jacket pocket and started walking.
*PRESENT TIME*
"I never should have left her there." Dean said looking down and swallowing the lump in his throat, easing it down with the same whiskey I was.
"Dean. You didn't know what was gonna happen…" I whispered.
"It doesn't matter kiddo. What I did was wrong. I was angry, and took it out on you… I should never have left you alone. Period.
"So what happened after that?" Sam asked, getting us back to the story.
"Well. I took off to a bar. Typical me. Booze and women as a cure all." Dean said taking another drink.
"And I started walking back to town…" I mused. "It took an hour or two… but I made it back to the motel. Dean was gone still. And I didn't have a key. When I went to the front desk there was no one there to give me an extra… so I sat outside the door."
I paused. Afraid of remembering what comes next. Dean reached up and brushed some hair behind my ear.
"Its okay." He whispered.
"I was only there for maybe ten minutes when a woman a few doors down came out of her room. She saw me sitting there crying and walked over to me. She was older, long white/grey hair. Very hippy. She just… seemed so nice."
*FLASHBACK*
(Emily's POV)
"Whats wrong hunny?" She asked as she knelt in front of me. I looked to her in confusion.
"I'm sorry, its none of my business. I just hate to see such a pretty young thing crying… don't tell me this is over a silly boy." She cooed.
"No. Um… I got in a fight with my brother. He should be back soon though." I smiled slightly.
"Oh you poor thing, I can't let you sit out here… its freezing. Why don't you come wait for him in my room."
"Oh I can't intrude like that." I said shyly looking down.
"Nonsense! I insist, come on dear, lets get you some hot chocolate."
I smiled warmly at the kind woman and followed her into her motel room, but I left a small note on our door for Dean that I would be in room 16 when he got back.
When I walked into her room I was mesmerized, It was filled with shiny trinkets and burning incense. This lady is definitely a hippy. But kind as they come. I sat down in the small chair at the table while she walked over with two hot mugs.
"Thank you." I smiled as she placed one in front of me. I took a sip and sighed.
"This is the best hot chocolate I've ever had." I laughed. She laughed in return.
"Yes well, I do happen to know a trick or two. So what brings you and your brother to town?"
"Our family travels for work. We're just passing through."
"Oh I see."
I took another long sip of the warm sweet delicious chocolate.
"What about you?" I asked.
"Well I was waiting for you dear." She smiled sweetly.
"I'm sorry?" I asked her confused before taking another drink.
"I've been waiting for you Emily. Looking for you."
Suddenly my vision began to blur in and out. I blinked to try and clear it, but it only made things fuzzier. It sounded as if I was in a tunnel.
"I don't feel good." I mumbled.
"Don't worry dear, it'll kick in soon and then you can rest." She said walking over to me and lifting my cup back to my mouth, pouring the hot chocolate in.
"Who… who are you." I asked groggily.
"Less of a who… more of a what my dear."
My heart thudded in my chest, I suddenly realized I was being drugged.
"D.. Dean." I mumbled before blackness overtook me.
*PRESENT TIME*
I reached up and wiped a tear off my cheek before looking at Sam, he looked so sad. Concerned. Then I looked to Dean. Whose face was filled with guilt and disgust. He knew this part of the story well… it was what was coming up then I never fully shared with him. He knew a lot of it… but even he didn't know it all. I wasn't able to get the words past my mouth at the time. Afraid that I'd realize it was all another trick and wake up back in chains.
"Emily are you sure you can handle this right now?" Sam asked me.
"I'd be lying if I said yes… but I think this whole conversation is kind of overdue. I mean, my life has fallen apart in front of my eyes… might as well dredge this up too."
"Kiddo I can take it from here if you need me to." Dean offered. I quickly looked away from him.
"No… you can't. Because you don't actually know all of it. No one does… but maybe its time they do. It makes a little more sense now. After finding out about yellow eyes and stuff."
"What do you mean?" He asked confused.
"Just… tell the story Dean. We'll get to it when we get to it." I said taking another drink.
He stared at me with confusion.
"You've kept something like this to yourself all this time?"
"Dean. Just… tell me what happened next." Sam asked. Dean kept his eyes on me as he talked. I refused to look up and meet them.
"I hung out with the bar until I was thoroughly drunk… I was talking to this hot little red head. Had it in the bag, but my phone kept ringing. I finally looked at it and noticed it was Dad. So I stepped outside and answered.
*FLASHBACK*
(Dean's POV)
"Hello?"
"Dean, where are you?"
"Um, I'm in town, why? You need a hand?" I asked excitedly.
"No. Job's finished. I'm at the motel… where are you and Emily?"
"Um. I uh.. I'm at the bar."
"And your sister?" He asked angrily.
"…I. I'm sorry Dad." Knowing that I was busted and he'd be pissed. I had drank so much I had kinda forgot that I left her. I figured she'd be back at the motel by now. "I'll go find her."
"Go find her?! Where the hell is she?!"
"We… we got in a fight a few miles from the hotel, she said she wanted to walk back."
"You left your sister on the side of the road. Get your ass to the motel. NOW!" He yelled before hanging up.
"Son of a bitch." I cursed before walking out to the impala and driving back to the motel. I parked next to dad's truck and braced myself for what was to come. I stepped inside and found the room to be empty.
"Dad?" I called out… no reply. There was a small piece of paper on the table. I picked it up, it read:
"Hey Dean, got locked out, be in room 16 when you get back… I'm sorry. –Em"
I sighed and walked towards room 16, the door was open, and there stood my father.
"Where's Em?" I asked noticing she wasn't in here. Dad turned and threw a bag at me.
"What the hell is this?"
"A hex bag." He said angrily… shit. My stomach dropped. Oh no. No… please. No.
"Dad… I-I-"
He slammed me against the wall.
"What the hell happened!" He screamed. "Tell me you didn't leave her alone!"
"Dad… I. I'm so sorry." I felt guilt overcome me. This is all my fault. I never should have left her alone… she's only 12! I just. She had the gun, and we weren't far from the motel. I just… I was so angry.
"You stupid ass! What were you thinking?! She's gone Dean! Gone!" He yelled slamming me again.
"I'm sorry dad, I messed up." I said biting back tears.
"You're damn right you did. Now help me find something useful to get your sister back!"
*PRESENT TIME*
"It took 11 days… we couldn't hardly get a lead on where they went. But once dad has one, he was like a beast. He saw nothing but red. He tore me a new one at least once a day. For 11 days I wondered if I was gonna find her… or just her body. If she suffered." Dean explained, choking slightly on the words.
"How could you not have called and told me about that Dean? I could have helped." Sam said angrily.
"I wanted to man, I did. But… Dad wouldn't let me. He said it would just worry you and you'd be one more thing he'd have in his way."
"Screw dad Dean! YOU as my brother… as her brother. Should have called me and told me. I mean. You left a twelve year old on the side of the road!"
I watched Dean's face struggle with the guilt. I'd recognize that look anywhere… because for weeks after they found me. Every time he looked at me his face was painted in guilt. I hated it. I hated it then and I hate it still now.
"Sam stop." I said softly. "Please."
He looked over to me, like this was tearing his heart out. He looked so helpless. I took his hand and squeezed it.
"Its not his fault Sam. She was coming for me. She wasn't going to stop. She was already at the motel, she knew where we were staying. She would've just killed him to get to me."
"Emily… what did she do to you?" Sam asked. I nervously looked between him and Dean. Dean silently nodded at me. Encouraging me to continue.
"When I woke up… I was in chains. It was dark. It was cold… the concrete was wet. My ankles and hands were all separately chained, but they all connected back to the wall. It had a small window, it was too high for me to see out of, but it provided a little bit of light during the day. Although… it felt like weeks. Its weird ya know. How time passes differently?" I tried to laugh, but… it didn't really come out like one.
"She would sometimes bring me food. And uh… I would. I would be so hungry. I would start eating, and… the food. I would look down and it wouldn't be food anymore. It would body parts…" I shuddered. "The water… it would be red, and think. It would taste like copper. I would heave over and over again, trying to convince myself I didn't eat… it." I struggled to form the thoughts, let alone the words. "After I finished puking everything back up. It would turn into food and water again… so I just stopped eating and drinking."
"Every time I closed my eyes, I'd wake up somewhere else… I'd be away from her, away from place. I'd be with Dean and Daddy again. Sometimes I'd wake up and be with you again too, like we were visiting Stanford. I would convince myself that she was a nightmare. And just when I would believe it… she'd brutally kill you. All of you, and as I screamed I'd realize I was still in that room, chained to the wall. Over and over again… I'd think I got away. But I never did."
I stood from the table and turned away from my brothers. I can't face them right now… I wrapped my arms around myself and kept talking.
"At night… when it was dark. So dark you can't see the hand in front of your face… I would move, and I'd bump into bodies. I couldn't see them, but I could feel them… they were dismembered and sticky. Covered in blood. I'd scream for hours and hours. But the bodies would multiply, and I couldn't get away from them… and then at all once they'd vanish and the room would be empty again."
The room was eerily silent. I could tell they were picturing it… thinking about it. But no matter what they pictured, it would never do it justice. The blood… so much blood. The bodies were destroyed… in pieces. I watched her tear my brothers and my father apart piece by bloody fucking piece over and over again. She was evil in the worst of ways. She hardly laid a finger on me, but she mind fucked me again and again and again. Until I didn't know if up was really up, for all I know it was down and across the hall.
"Emily… you need to keep going." Dean said carefully. Knowing that I still hadn't gotten to the best part. I felt a small sob work its way up my throat, my shoulders shook slightly and I shook my head back and forth. Dean sighed. He stood and walked over to me, when he moved to place a hand on my shoulder I pulled away.
"Don't."
"Emily… I know this is hard, but you are this far into it. You gotta get this all out there kiddo."
I held myself tightly, feeling sobs overcome me. I took a deep breath and slowly turned to face Sam, who also had tears in his eyes.
"She… uh. She put this… this spell on me. Or something. And uh… every time she, or anyone. Touched me. It was like fire. Like acid eating away at me. It wasn't real. But it felt real… I-I didn't let Dad or Dean touch me for days after they found me… Sh-she would come in and trail her fingers across me, just to watch me suffer."
For 11 days, she tortured me.
Blood. Dismembered bodies. Pain. Watching my family die again and again… not just die. But be brutally torn to shreds.
"What else happened Em… what didn't you tell me before?" Dean asked.
"Um.. she told me something… and it never made any sense until recently. So I never even thought to mention it."
*FLASHBACK*
(Emily's POV)
I heard the door open… my heart pounded in my chest. It only opens when she comes in. Footsteps are coming closer. I try to keep my breathing steady to appear that I am asleep.
"Hello my darling… Wakey wakey!" She walked over and let her hand brush hair away from my face, searing my cheek.
"Ahh!" I cried out.
"Well there you are… come on now. We've got things to do… he's going to want you thoroughly scared by the time he gets here.
"Please stop! You don't have to do this… please." I cried. In response she grabs my wrist, it's searing hot pain. The smell of burning flesh fills my nose.
"Okay! Okay… just please let me go!"
She released my arm with a giggle… imitating a school girl's voice.
"What do you want from me?" I cried.
"Oh dear… its not what I want… its what he wants. He wants you damaged. He says the best way to ensure you'll be worth it later is to prepare you early… he wants you scared my dear. And that. Is my expertise."
She smiled at me before continuing with another round of torture. Burning, cutting… and leaving me whole at the end to start again tomorrow.
*PRESENT TIME*
"Yellow eyes." Sam said catching on. "She was working for yellow eyes…"
I nodded.
"At least that's what makes sense to me… ya know. He. He knew somehow I'd have these abilities. And that they'd be tied into my emotions, He wanted me to be a mess. Well… he got his wish."
"Em I can't… I can't even imagine." Sam said.
"Yeah… well. Shit happens right?" I said wiping my face. Dean said back down at the table and poured himself and I more whiskey. I sat back at the table and downed it, sliding it over for another refill. He obliged. Knowing that the best way to get past this night, is to be just a little numb to it all.
"What happened to the witch?"
"Dad and I found Emily locked in a basement of this old warehouse… the witch wasn't there at the time. But we knew she wouldn't be far away. So we decided to break Em out and come back for the witch later."
*FLASHBACK*
(Dean's POV)
"You think she's in there?" I asked Dad as we approached another large empty brick building. We had been searching them all day… but something about this one. It felt different. It looked wrong from the outside. Like something horrible had once happened there.
"I don't Dean. Lets go." Dad said checking his mag, I did the same and followed. We broke in through a window around the back, it was empty… lots of concrete. Some old trash and old metal racks. Like it used to be a storage place. We approached a large brown door that had a very heavy padlock on it.
"Well someone doesn't want us getting in." I mused. Dad nodded before shooting the lock loose, I kicked in the door in and we carefully descended the stairs. It was a large open basement, candle lit, there were several things hanging from the ceiling, hoodoo stuff. There were altars set up around the room. This has got to be it.
"Emily!" Dad called out. "Emily! Babygirl are you here?"
We checked every corner of the large basement… nothing. Dammit. I wonder if she knew we were coming. I felt that same fear and disappointment creep up on me. The same way it did every time we've checked a place and came up empty handed. That guilt that's gripped my gut twists again and again. I got her killed… she's dead. Because of me.
"Dean." Dad called, snapping me out of my wallowing. He was standing against the brick wall at the back of the room.
"There's a window on the back of the building, it leads into the basement."
"Yeah so?" I asked confused.
"Well we're in the basement… do you see a window?"
I looked around, there wasn't one… meaning there's a hidden room in here somewhere. We began tearing at things, looking for it, after several seconds, we found it, hidden behind a shelf was a large wooden door, locked as well. We busted the lock and pushed it open.
"Emily." Dad breathed with relief. My eyes shot into the room, there against the wall was my Emily. She was chained to the wall, laying there motionless, until Dad got near her.
"No!" She screamed and cried as he reached out to grab her. She reared back away from him, smothering herself against the wall.
"Please make it stop!" She cried. She held the arm that dad had reached out and touched as if it was on fire.
"Emily babygirl its me… its daddy." He tried to calm her.
"Noo.. no its not. Please stop this… don't kill them anymore." She sobbed.
"Hey kiddo." I said stepping forward, swallowing down the lump in my throat. I got closer and saw the bruises. The dirt, where the heavy chains had bit into her skin. She was thinner, she had this… lifeless, look in her eyes.
"Please… just kill me. Just kill me." She whispered as she cried. I leaned forward and reached out to her and she jumped back again screaming. Begging us not to touch her. It broke me in half to see her like this… this is all my fault. Whatever happened to her is on me, what did that woman do to her?!
"Emily baby listen to me. Its Me, okay… Its Dean. Its real." I softly spoke to her. She just continued to cry.
"Shhh… Come on babygirl. Its me."
"Dean, go find some blankets, she's not gonna let us touch her for now." Dad called. I didn't want to stop though, I just. I wanted her to come to me, I wanted to cradle her like she was little again. I wanted to hold her and never let her go again. I just… I wanted my Emily to come back to me.
"Dean! Go find them, now… before the witch comes back."
I did as he said, he cut the chains free of the walls, knowing she wouldn't let us cut them off of her just yet.
"Shh, come on babygirl, I won't touch you." Dad cooed as he wrapped her in the blankets. She was hesitant but allowed it as long as he didn't make skin to skin contact.
"Daddy… I wanna leave." She cried.
"We are babygirl, we're gonna leave, okay?"
She nodded and Dad motioned for me to pick her up, he grabbed his gun and made sure we had a clear path to the car.
"Dad I think she needs a hospital." I said as I watched her shallow breathing. She was weak, small. I was afraid at any moment she'd stop breathing.
"No, we can't… they try and touch her and she'll lose it. They'll lock her up. We'll be investigated. We've gotta handle this ourselves."
"So where are we going?"
"I know a guy who's got a cabin not far from here, we can bunker down until she's okay again."
I gently laid her in the backseat and we took off.
When we got to the cabin we waited for her to fall asleep to cut the chains, she slept for a day straight… she was exhausted. I stayed at the bed, day and night, Dad or I was awake.
"Dad. What about the witch?"
"I'll go back for her once I know Emily is okay."
"Let me do it." I told him. "Let me go right now and end this bitch… please. I messed this up. Let me make it right."
Dad started at me for a minute before walking over to his bag and handing me a weapon. He gave it to me with a nod.
*PRESENT TIME*
"I went back, staked the place out… waited for her to walk in and find the place ransacked, then I killed her. I strangled her with my bare hands, watch the life leave her eyes, and then I burned her. She's dead."
I took a deep breath and sighed.
"I told you kiddo, I'd never let her hurt you again."
"I know." I whispered. Thinking back to when I woke up in that cabin… with my Daddy. How patient and kind he had been in the days to come, allowing me to work through things at my own pace. Eventually I was able to touch them again, allow them to touch me without fear of pain. One day Dean picked me up out of the bed from one of my many nightmares, he held me while I cried and told him and Daddy what had happened during those 9 days.
Dean, he was like a hawk. He hovered, everything I even though I needed, he already was up getting for me. Every time I thought about it, he could see it on my face and would be there to remind me that she's gone. Its over.
I remember he told me over and over and over how sorry he was… how he'd never leave me again. How he'd always protect me. I'm sure our relationship seems odd to some people, but Dean raised me. Dean rescued me. He was the one person I've always had there, he's never left me again.
Until now.
I bowed my head to hide the tears, letting my head lean against my palms. But my shaking shoulders gave it away.
"Em… talk to us." Sam said reaching over and rubbing his hand soothingly down my back. I shook my head back and forth. I couldn't push my mouth to form words right now. I felt the whiskey taking its effects, making me sloppy and tired. I laid my head on the table. It was cool and felt nice against my warm face.
"Kiddo, this doesn't work if you don't talk to us. We've gotta get you into that habit now." Dean pushed.
I stood up and walked over, sitting on his knee like when I was little, he quickly wrapped me in strong arms and I buried my face against the crook in his neck. Letting my tears soak his shirt.
"C'mon babygirl… what is it?" He asked as he sat me up to look at my face, wiping my tears away.
"De… you promised me that night." I hiccupped."That you'd never leave me again." I cried.
"I know kiddo… I know." He said sadly, rubbing my cheek with his thumb.
"You lied."