Author's Note: Okay! So Em's secret is out, here comes the backlash! Thank you all so much for your reviews and for keeping up with Em's story! We've got a lot left to go and I'm excited to see where we'll get in this season! There's lots of bumps in the road soon to come, and some new characters, maybe an old one as well! Please let me know what you think! Love you guys!
(Dean's POV)
"Go away Dean!" Em yelled from the other side of the bathroom door.
"Kiddo c'mon… just open the damn door." I sighed and pressed my forehead against the wooden door.
"No. GO AWAY!"
I could tell she was still short of breath.
"Dean… maybe I should try." Sam said sitting on the foot of his bed.
"Sam I think I can handle this. I've been doing it for years ya know."
"I get that Dean. That's not what mean. What I mean is that for two weeks now, the nightmares are back, and not once has she WANTED you to help."
I knew he was right, so I faced away from him. Rather than letting him see the way the words stung me.
"I'm sorry. Okay? I know this is hard on you too. But she's just trying to figure this out on her own."
"Well she's doing a pretty shitty job of it."
"Yeah, well. She's doing the best she can." Sam shot back.
"I'm still here… I can still help her." I reminded him.
"Dean. You can't help her if she doesn't want your help. I'm sorry man, you just can't."
"Whatever. I'm going for a drink."
"Dean. Its 1 in the morning. Is that really the best idea right now?"
"Yes. It is." I growled before slamming the door behind me.
(Emily's POV)
*Knock Knock*
"Em. He's gone… open the door." Sam's voice said calmly.
I stayed silent and closed my eyes. Breathing in as deep as I could. Letting the hot water that surrounded me make me feel safe. I'm sure I look ridiculous. Clothed. Sitting in a bathtub full of water. But it helps… so far it's the only thing that helps. Its like… it surrounds me. Brings me back to the here and now. Reminds me this is all real, that the nightmares are just that. Nightmares.
That night I fell asleep and had the beginning of a series of terrifying horrible nightmares. Dean got me through the first few… and one night it really struck me hard that he wouldn't be here to do that much longer.
"Emily. I'm just gonna pick the lock." Sam warned. I didn't reply. If he wants in… he'll get in. I listened attentively as the door knob clicked repeatedly. One loud click, and it began to open. Sam stepped in. Sighed, and then sat down on the floor next to the tub, leaning his back against the wall.
"You keep this up and you're not gonna have any dry clothes to wear."
"Then I'll just wear yours." I mumbled back trying to smile, he chuckled.
"Em, how much longer are you gonna do this? I mean… you're killing him kiddo. Let him help."
"No." I said quickly.
"Em."
"No. Sam… My whole life I have relied on you and especially on Dean to fix everything for me. It was wrong. It's wrong to depend on someone so much that you're life becomes crippled without them. I need to learn to do this on my own."
"How many times do I have to tell you this… I'm not gonna let him die. I WILL find a way to get him out of this."
"So I can watch you die again?" I said not meeting his eyes.
"No. You're not losing me either. I promise. You're not losing another damn person. Okay? Please… let me get you outta here and lets go to bed. Start over tomorrow. I could really use your help. I found some books that may have some information-"
"Sam I can't." I whispered. "I can't lose you again."
But I can't lose Dean either. I feel so torn. So twisted.
"You won't Emily. I promise. Please… trust me."
"… will you bring me my bag please?"
"Yeah, sure thing kiddo."
Sam stood up and laid my bag in the bathroom floor. I pulled the drain on the tub and waited for it to drain. I stood, changed out of my wet clothes and hung them over the rail to dry… then I walked out to find Sam holding a cup of hot chocolate.
"Here, it'll warm you up. Water had to be getting cold."
"Thanks."
I sat cross legged against the headboard and sipped at the hot chocolate as Sam checked the salt lines at the doors and windows and went to lay down in the bed across from me.
"Where did he go?" I whispered.
"To get a drink."
"I'm sorry."
"Emily. Its not your fault. He's struggling with all this too. And ultimately he made the decision he made and he knew there would be consequences."
"Yeah… goodnight Sam." I set the half empty mug down on the nightstand and turned off the lamp. Curling up against the pillows. I slept until the sound of the door opening stirred me. I recognized Dean's footsteps entering the room. I shut my eyes, hoping that if he thought I was asleep he wouldn't say anything. He stumbled around and kicked off his boots. Then he moved to lay in the bed. I remained still. He sighed in the dark and then I felt him roll over, to face me.
"I'm sorry kiddo… I'm so sorry."
I bit the inside of my cheek hard as I could to keep from letting a tear fall. I waited until soft snores filled the silence, then I moved to turn over and fell back asleep. Waiting for another nightmare to claim me.
"Dean… she's okay." Sam's voice stirred me awake.
"Are you sure? Cause she's still asleep…" Dean asked concerned.
"No one can sleep through your bickering." I mumbled with my eyes still closed.
"Hey kiddo, pancakes?" Dean offered. I opened my eyes and he was grinning and holding up a Styrofoam box. No matter how stubborn I can be… chocolate chip pancakes deserve my love.
"Its too cold outside the covers." I whined. "Just feed them to me."
Dean and Sam both chuckled.
"C'mon Em… lets get up." Sam said walking over and pulling the covers off of me. I fought him for them, but his strength overcame mine easily. Damn sasquatch arms.
I sat up and stretched as the cold air hit my legs. I walked over to the table where Dean had my food and drink set up for me… he's definitely kissing ass. I feel guilty, but at the same time I don't. He's fucked up. He knows it too.
"I got you the good syrup." He said tossing me a couple packets of good ole maple syrup. None of that fruity shit. I smiled at him. I could already see on his face he wanted to ask me something.
"Soo…"
"Yes?" I answered with eyebrows raised.
"Are you gonna talk to me about what happened last night?"
"De. It was just a nightmare. You already know what it's about… They'll go away eventually. Just like they did the first time."
"Yeah but you didn't lock yourself in the bathroom sitting in a tub of water fully dressed every night last time." I looked up to him, no response found its way to my lips. He's right. But saying anything else would just make this worse. "Emily. I'm still here. I'll still be here for months-"
"11 months and 2 days." I whispered cutting him off. He hung his head and sighed deeply. Sam sat down across from me, nudging me under the table so I'd look up to him. When we met eyes I knew what he wanted to say without him opening his mouth. He's telling me he's not gonna let that happen. Silently asking me for help.
"C'mon Em… you keep this up and you're not gonna have any clothes left to wear."
"Sam already said I could wear his." I said with a smirk. Sam scoffed and went back to eating his breakfast. Well… he didn't say I couldn't.
"I'm serious kiddo. Sam and I are both still here. Let us help. You don't have to work through all this alone."
"Yeah." I said taking the last bite of my pancakes, my appetite satisfied. I downed my water bottle and stood.
"Where are you going?" Dean asked.
"To get ready." I answered in a duh tone before grabbing a towel and my bag and going into the bathroom. I grabbed my phone and turned up my music. Sia's voice fills the bathroom as I turn on the water. I showered, dried off, and dressed. When I began to dig into my make-up bag I came across a small black bottle.
I hesitantly picked it up and shook it, hearing the pills rattling around. The therapist's words sailed through my mind.
"What happens if you have one while Dean isn't there?"
"…you should be realistic and expect that Dean cannot be with you every step of the way the rest of your life…"
"…You need to learn to lean a little less on him.."
Then I remembered what he said about the pills.
"I think this could help you take that first step. It won't be a permanent prescription. But I think that it would help you take that push to rely more on yourself and not so much on your brother."
I shook the bottle until a few of them landed in my hand. They were small. White. Round. How could something so small help me? I shook my head and poured them back in the bottle. I continued to get ready and stashed everything back in my bag.
"Where's Dean?" I asked stepping out and realizing he was gone again.
"He's gonna meet us later. Said he had to look into something."
"Oh okay… So what are we doing till then?"
"Well… I could really use your help." Sam said handing a book towards me. I read the title of it and shook my head.
"Sam. What if Dean's right. What if this gets you killed. I can't pick and choose between the two of you. I won't."
"Emily you don't have to! I'm begging you… help me. Please Em. Please… theres so much stuff to go through, It'll cut the time in half if you'll help me. I promise. You're not gonna lose me again Em."
"Sammy… I don't know about all of this."
"Well. Then at least come into town with me. I'm gonna go sit at a diner down the road, Dean said he'd meet us there when he finished."
"Fine, lets go." I sighed.
When we got to the diner Sam ordered food again just to be polite since we were taking up a table, I nit picked at it, not really hungry either, we literally JUST ate. I instead sipped on my rootbeer, contemplating if helping Sam would be actually betraying him, or if he could be right? Is there hope for Dean… I'm too afraid to tell myself yes. Too afraid to get any hope.
Hope hurts. Not when you have it… but when you lose it. Its hard to let go of. I'm not sure I'm ready to attach myself to that kind of risk right now. I already feel like I'm losing so much. I'm not sure I can stand losing anything else right now.
Sam flipped out his phone and called Bobby… they began to converse about the information Sam was digging through. I half listened, half looked over what he had laid out on the table.
"What do you mean you don't think it will work, Bobby? It's a demon-dispelling ritual… Well, maybe we got the translation wrong." Sam said just as Dean walked by and tapped on the window in front of our table before walking through the door. "Look, we can't just let Dean fry in hell while we- ... Well, there's got to be something that w—" Sam stopped when he saw Dean approaching quickly. "Oh, ah, yeah, no, ah, I I gotta go. Uh. Okay. Never mind." Sam quickly slammed the phone shut as I scooted over for Dean to sit next to me.
"Hey. Who was that?" He asked.
"Ah, I was just ordering pizza." Sam replied too quickly… Dean looked at him puzzled and then around us.
"Dude, you do realize that you're in a restaurant?"
"Umm. I uh, bitched about eating diner food again and he caved and called me in some pizza." I quickly said covering for Sam. He looked at me thankfully as Dean eyed me curiously. But I know Dean won't question me right now… he's afraid to do anything else to set me off.
"O-kay, Weirdy Mcweirderton. So, I think I got something." He said pulling out the newspaper.
"Yeah?" Sam asked.
"Cicero, Indiana. Falls on his own power saw. " Dean said pointing to a local story.
"And? What, that's it? One power saw?" I asked curiously. We would never chase something so simple.
"Well... yeah."
"And you think that this is a case?" Sam asked.
"Well, I don't know. Could be." Dean replied.
"I don't know, Dean. I –" Sam started.
"All right, there's something better ... better in Cicero than just a case."
"And that is?" I asked already knowing where this was gonna go… it must be a chick.
"Lisa Braeden."
Knew it.
"Should I even ask?" Sam sighed.
"Remember that road trip I took, uh... gosh, about eight years ago now? You two were in Orlando with Dad wrapping up that banshee thing."
"Yeah… I remember you ditched me and Dad refused to take me and Sam to Disney World while we were there. I was pissed at you." I answered.
"Yeah. Yeah, the five states, five-day –" Thing Sam said rolling his eyes at me.
"Yeah. Well, kind of. Although I spent most of my time in Lisa Braeden's loft." Dean said smiling to himself. Ew.
"So let me get this straight. You want – you want to drive all the way to Cicero just to hook up with some random chick?" Sam asked. Yeah! You tell em Sammy. I looked at Dean accusingly.
"She was a yoga teacher. It was the bendiest weekend of my life. Come on. Have a heart, huh? It's my dying wish."
I dropped my jaw and scoffed at his choice of words. I turned and pulled my attention to watch people walk down the sidewalk instead of participating in this conversation anymore.
He's not even worried about going to hell. Here I sit… torn apart. And he's just thinking about who he wants to fuck before he dies. Un-fucking-believable.
"Yeah, well, how many dying wishes are you gonna get?" Sam replied.
"As many as I can squeeze out. Come on. Smile, Sam! God knows I'm gonna be smiling after 24 hours with Gumby girl." Dean chuckled. "Gumby girl."
Then he suddenly frowned.
"Does that make me Pokey?" He asked seriously. I scoffed again and pushed him to signal I wanted out of the booth. I walked out the door and went to sit in the car. Waiting for the boys to gather their stuff so we could go to the motel and pack up.
7 hours later we were pulling up to Lisa Braeden's house in Cicero. Dean climbed out of the impala and said he'd snatch a ride back so we could have the car. He leaned down into the window and grinned.
"Don't wait up for me kids." He said with a wide grin. Gross De.
I rolled my eyes, still frustrated by the whole situation. Sam rolled his eyes too, but it was much more playful then mine. Dean hopped up the steps and Sam went to start the car.
"Wait… Can I drive?" I asked him with hopeful eyes. Normally he would say no, but with my recent state of emotions he didn't hesitate to say yes. I smiled at him and he smiled back as he tossed me the keys and I slid over to the drivers seat. I adjusted so I could reach the pedals and Sam settled before I punched the gas and peeled away from the house. I momentarily caught a worried glance from Dean in the rearview mirror before he left my sight.
"Whoa! Slow it down kiddo." Sam warned, but the feeling of the car's power was enticing. I pulled out onto the main road and really opened her up since there wasn't much traffic. I watched in my peripheral vision as Sam gripped the dash and the back of the seat and acted like we were bracing for impact.
So dramatic.
"Emily come on! Slow down." Sam warned. I only pushed the pedal down further. Gripping the wheel as we accelerated. I don't know why it felt so wrong. SO angry… but SO powerful.
"Emily! STOP!" Sam yelled. I finally slammed the breaks and we came to a screeching halt in the middle of the road. My breaths were deep and my heart was racing. I don't remember feeling that powerful the last time I drove a car. I gripped the wheel again and released it.
"Emily… Just. Lets just get out of the car for a minute." Sam said cautiously. I looked at him puzzled.
That's when I realized the keys were still in my hand.
I never put them in the ignition… the car was never actually on…
It was all me. I did it… without even knowing it.
"Oh god… Sam… I-I. I don't know what happened." I dropped the keys as my hands began to tremble.
"Its okay. We're okay Em. Its okay." He said quickly trying to calm me down before I became hysterical. The trembling moved from my hands up my arms and I shook down to my core. Freaking the FUCK out.
"Sam… what did I do?!" I asked suddenly turning to him.
"Nothing sweetheart, its okay. You're okay. C'mon lets just get out for a minute okay?" His voice was calm but his eyes betrayed him. He was afraid. Afraid of me.
He reached out for me, but I pulled back and got out of the car quickly. Leaving the keys in the seat.
"Emily wait!" Sam called getting out as well. I began to pace back and forth behind the car.
"Sam… what did I do?! What if I hurt Baby?! What if I broke her… De-Dean's gonna be mad. He's gonna hate me… Sam I didn't mean too!" I said quickly.
"Shhh.. Its okay. I know. I know. Just stop moving! Take a breath. We're okay. The car's okay. I'll drive us back to the motel okay?"
I swallowed down the lump in my throat and hesitantly nodded, letting Sam pull an arm around me and walk me back into the car. We didn't speak again until we were back. The car seemed to run okay, but there was an odd noise coming from the engine. I dreaded explaining this to Dean. He was gonna be so mad. I never should've asked to drive.
"Emily. Its okay. You didn't mean to." Sam said watching me stare out the window at the car parked in front of our room.
"But I still did it Sam."
"Please. Don't let this get you all worked up. Just forget about it. Dean's not gonna be mad… he'll understand. You're under a lot of stress right now kiddo… and I'm sorry if me pressuring you to help me was part of it."
"No. Sam. Its not… I just. I just don't want to lose you again…. But I don't wanna lose him either."
"Then help me Em. I promise. You're not gonna lose me. But if you don't help me… we might both lose Dean."
I stared at him for a minute before nodding in agreeance.
We spent the next couple of hours digging through books. My heart nearly stopped as the door flew open and Dean walked through it. I stood nervously. Frozen.
"Dude, there is a job here." Dean said walking straight to the fridge for a beer.
"Really?" Sam asked.
"Yeah. You know that one freak accident we read about in the paper? Turns out there's four more that never even made the paper, all in this ... Morning Hill gated community. People falling off of ladders and drowning in their Jacuzzis all over the neighborhood."
"That is weird." Sam said scratching the back of his neck, know that Dean was not going to react so great to the news about Baby. But at least he seems to be in a good mood.
"Yeah, something's up. Something these nice, big gates can't protect them from." Dean said taking a swig and turning back towards Sam and I. He stopped and looked between us noticing my stance.
"..Okay what's going on here?"
"Look Dean. Its not big deal… everyone's okay. Even the car-"
"The car?! What happened to baby?!" Dean said freaking out.
"I-I-I didn't… " I tried to speak but instead ran for the bathroom and hid behind the locked door.
"Sam what the hell happened?!" Dean asked a little louder, I pressed my ear against the crack between the door and the wall and listened intently.
"Look dude, calm down or you're gonna get her upset all over again. I just got her calmed down."
"Calmed down from what?" Dean asked a little quieter, but his voice still strained.
"Look man, I don't really know what happened… she. She wanted to drive, and I said yes… and before she even got the keys in the ignition the thing took off, and she just pushed it to go faster and faster. But she stopped… she's okay. Just freaked out. Worried you're gonna be pissed."
"That depends… is my car okay?"
"It drove us back to the motel, seems to be some kind of noise coming from under the hood, but It runs. Dean. Please don't make a big deal out of this. She's already freaked."
"Dammit Sammy. Is she okay? Did she get hurt?"
"No. Dean. She's just… scared. It freaked her out. She didn't even realize she was doing it."
I heard footsteps approach the door. I quickly scrambled away from it.
"Emily, Open the door." Dean commanded sternly. I couldn't move.
"Emily! C'mon kiddo open the door…" She shook the handle angrily.
"Dean knock it off." Sam sighed.
"No! She can't hide from me for a year. Emily open the door now!"
"Dean getting pissed at her isn't gonna help anything!"
"I'm not pissed! I just need to make sure she's okay…. C'mon Em open the damn door."
I shakily took two steps towards the door and my hand reached out for it. I clicked the lock and then stepped back from the door. Dean didn't waste a second ripping the door open and barging in, he took my face in his hands and examined me for injuries like he does after a hunt gets crazy. I just stood there and let him.
"What happened." He asked me levelly.
"I-I… I don't know." I whispered shakily. Feeling my eyes sting. I pulled away from him and took in a large breath, I'm sick of crying. I'm not gonna do it again. Not now. Not in front of Dean.
"Emily. This stuff is tied to your emotions. Tell me what happened."
"I. I was mad at you." I whispered looking down at the ugly pale tiles on the floor.
"Why?" He asked confused. I sighed and looked up to him.
"Because you couldn't care less that you're dying. The only thing you cared about was getting laid as much as you could before hell hounds come after you." I snapped. Dean straightened up and took a deep breath before looking back at me.
"Kiddo that's not true. Okay. I care. I just… I've accepted it. It is what it is, and I'm not gonna spend the rest of my time moping about it. And I don't want you to either."
"Yeah well people in hell want ice water…. Give it some time, and you'll understand." I said shoving past him.
"Emily stop. We can't spend the next 11 months battling each other, hiding from me. Is that really what you wanna do with the time I have left?"
"NO! Its not. But I wanted more than 11 months to figure it all out!" I yelled angrily, feeling the sting come back in the corners of my eyes.
"Well I'm sorry sweetheart but that's all we've got!" He yelled back.
"Just go fix your precious car." I sneered turning to storm out the door.
"Hey! Where do you think you're going!"
"Somewhere away from you!" I yelled slamming the door behind me and walking down the sidewalk.
He's such a fucking ass sometimes. He can't expect me to just be okay with all this shit!
I walked around for about an hour. Just to be alone. To feel productive. To process. When I approached the motel again I could see Dean working on the impala, hood up. I took a deep breath and approached him.
"You can't expect me to be okay with all this like you are." I said coming up behind him. He stopped and turned to look at me, wiping his hands on a rag. "I am scared. I am angry at you… and as much as I love you sometimes I just can't be around you. And you can't be mad at me for that! Just because you don't care doesn't mean I don't still care." I finished.
"Sweetheart. Just because I've accepted this doesn't mean I don't care. Doesn't mean I'm just okay with it all… I just know that I had no other choice. I made that decision and I've accepted its consequences. I don't expect you to do the same right now, okay? I don't… but I do expect you to talk to me. To stop hiding from me. You're entire life you've never hidden anything from me… please don't start now."
"… Is baby okay?"
"She's fine. You burned through a couple belts but I got em replaced. Damn kiddo. You musta been pissed… those belts should've lasted another few years before they wore down. You burned right through em."
"I'm sorry." I whispered looking down at the ground. I never meant to hurt baby. I love that stupid car as much as Dean does.
"Em. Don't be sorry… just talk to me." Dean pleaded. I stepped forward and let him hug me.
"So whats with this case? I thought you were there to see that girl."
"Lisa? Yeah… I did. At her kids birthday party. Total mood killer by the way. But uh, while I was there she was telling me about all the crap going on in the neighborhood."
"So you think this is a real case?"
"Yeah. I do… I think something weirds going on in that neighborhood."
"So how old is her little boy."
"…8."
"As in… 8 years ago you fucked her and now she has an 8 year old? That kind of 8?"
"No. NO. Of course not." Dean said rapidly.
"… are you sure?"
"I mean she told me no."
"Mmhmm… I think I need to lay eyes on this kid for myself De."
"Oh shut up. C'mon. Pizza and bed… baby's back on her feet for now." Dean said swinging an arm over me and pulling me inside.
The next day we split. This time I went with Dean and we scoped out the neighborhood park while Sam went to check out the vic's houses. Pretending to be an insurance agent or something I'm sure.
We were walking around watching for anything strange when I noticed a kid sitting on a bench all alone.
"Poor kid." I mumbled. Dean looked over and tapped my shoulder.
"Hey that's Lisa's kid Ben. C'mon." He said approaching the bench. I stood back a bit and watched.
"Hey, Ben." Dean said sitting next to him.
"Hey. You were at my party." Ben replied.
"Yeah. Yeah, I'm Dean. This is my sister Emily." He said turning back and pointing to me. I smiled and waved at Ben.
"Everything okay? Something wrong?" Dean asked him… he didn't answer, Dean looked down noticing the empty black case in his hands, one that would fit something like a game-boy. I looked up and noticed a group of boys playing on one in the field. I tapped Dean and pointed. He looked out and nodded.
"Is that your game they're playing with?" Dean asked him.
"Ryan Humphrey borrowed it, and now he won't give it back." Ben explained.
"Well, you want me to go—"
"No! Don't go over there! Only bitches send a grown-up." I had to stifle a laugh. I dig this kid already. Dean shot me an amused look before agreeing.
"You're not wrong."
"And I am not a bitch." Ben told him.
"Is that Humphrey? The one that needs to lay off the burgers?"
Ben nodded and smiled.
"Hm." Dean mused, then he leaned down and whispered to Ben, the kid looked up to him surprised but excited. Then he jumped up and walked towards the boys. I sat next to Dean.
"Should I be worried?" I asked.
"Nahh. Just teaching him to stand up for himself. Something every kid should know."
"Suuure." I laughed. We watched as Ben walked over to the group of boys and began to talk to them. The conversation didn't seem to be going in Ben's favor. Poor baby. I wanted to get up and rip that game out of tubby's hands and give it to Ben, but that would only make things worse. I slumped my shoulders as a sad Ben turned away from the boys and looked like he was going to give up. But then he suddenly turned around and slammed his foot into the kid's balls.
"Oh! Shit!" I mumbled excitedly to Dean, who smiled.
Ben came running back up to us, game in hand, leaving the boy crying in the grass. He grinned and his eyes were glued to Dean's. I looked up and recognized that proud look on his face. Part of me wanted this to be Dean's kid… I mean. There is a slight resemblance. And the attitude is all Dean for sure.
"Thanks. Dude, that was awesome!" Ben said when he reached Dean, he held his hand out for a high five and Dean obliged laughing.
"Benjamin. Isaac. Braeden! What's gotten into you?" An angry woman called form behind us, I assume to be Lisa. She's hot.
"Uh ohhh…" I mumbled.
"He stole my game." Ben told her.
"So you kick him? Since when is—" She paused and looked to Dean. "Did you tell my son to beat up that kid?"
"What? Somebody had to teach him how to kick the bully in the nads." Dean replied. I lightly tapped the back of his head. That could have been worded better so that he didn't look like such an ass to Lisa.
"Who asked you to teach him anything?" Lisa responded angrily, pulling Ben towards her.
"Just relax."
"What are you even still doing here? We had one weekend together a million years ago. You don't know me. And you have no business with my son."
"Lisa." Dean stood and called as she began to walk off dragging Ben along.
"Just leave us alone." She turned and said, but Ben pulled out of her grasp and ran towards Dean, wrapping his arms around Dean's waist. Dean hugged him back.
"Ben!"
"Thanks." Ben mumbled to Dean before running back to Lisa. I sighed and Dean turned to me and shrugged his shoulders.
"Sorry De…" I noticed he was no looking at me. I followed his eyes to 3 children in the field that were staring at us creepily. Not moving. Not talking. Not playing. Just staring…
"Um. De. We should go."
"Yeah. Yeah. C'mon Em." Dean reached out a hand and pulled me off the bench. His eyes never left those kids till they were out of sight.
We got in the car and began to drive back to the motel to meet with Sammy.
"Emily. I want you to know something."
"Dean… don't."
"No. I'm serious. I want you to know I'm proud of you… And whatever this thing with your abilities is. You're gonna beat it. With or without me. You're strong enough to handle it. I promise. I raised you, I watched you for years. There's not a damn thing in this world that can beat you unless you let it."
"Dean. Stop."
"No. I want you to know that. And I'm not giving some goodbye speech here like you think I am. I'm telling you this now because I know you're scared. I know you're having a hard time. But I also know beyond a shadow of a doubt. You're gonna kick this thing in the ass. So stop letting it beat you up."
"I'll try." I said pushing a fake smile onto my face. I leaned against his arm and cranked the radio. Singing along to ACDC until we pulled in. Sam had dinner on the table. Chinese. Yummy.
"Something's wrong with the kids in this town." Dean announced as I sat down and munched on a spring roll.
"Yeah. Tell me about it… So, what do you know about changelings?" Sam asked.
"Evil monster babies?" I asked with my mouth full.
"No, not necessarily babies."
"They're kids. Creepy, "stare at you like you're lunch" kids?" Dean asked. Realizing the kids in the park kinda fit that description.
"Yeah. There's one at every victim's house." Sam added. We finished our dinner while Dean gathered kerosene torches for us to use. Sam was still researching. Finding us the most reliable information.
"So, changelings can perfectly mimic children. According to lore, they climb in the window, snatch the kid. Y'know, there were marks on the windowsill at one of the kid's houses. Looked to me like blood." Sam explained.
"So what? The changeling grabs a kid, assumes its form, joins the happy fam just for kicks?" I asked confused.
"Not quite. Changelings feed on the mom: synovial fluid. The moms have these odd bruises on the back of their necks. Changelings can drain them for a few weeks before mom finally croaks."
"And then there's dad and the babysitter." Dean added.
"Yeah. Seems like anyone who gets between the changeling and its food source ends up dead."
"And fire's the only way to waste them?" I asked reaching for one of Dean's torches.
"Yup." They both said.
"Great. We'll just bust in, drag the kids out, torch them on the front lawn. That'ill play great with the neighbors. What about the real ones? What happens to them?" I asked.
"According to lore, they stash them underground somewhere. I don't know why, but if it's true, the real kids might be out there."
"We better start looking." Dean said seriously… then he looked puzzled for a second. "So, any kid in the neighborhood is vulnerable?"
I looked up suddenly realizing what it was he was thinking. Ben.
"Yep." Sam answered not even looking up.
"Dean. I'm sure he's okay. He was fine this afternoon." I whispered grabbing Dean's sleeve. He didn't seem convinced.
"We gotta make a stop. I want to check on someone." Dean suddenly said.
"Well Dean, if the real kids are still alive, we don't have time. We— "
"We have to." Dean cut him off and carried the torches to the car.
"Trust me Sam. You won't win this one. Let him check on the kid."
"What kid?"
"Lisa's kid."
"Ah. I see." Sam said finally catching on. We met Dean in the car and drove to Lisa's quickly.
Sam and I stayed in the car and I watched as Dean approached her front door and she opened it. They talked for only a minute before Lisa shut the door on him. Shit. That can't be good. He came rushing back to the car.
"They took Ben. He's changed." He said sternly.
"What?! Are you sure?" I asked.
"Yeah, I'm sure. I checked his windowsill."
"Blood?" Sam asked.
"I don't think it is blood, and I think I know where the kids are." Dean jumped in the drivers seat and drove us to the far side of the neighborhood, where houses were still being built we pulled up to one who's yard was completely made up of red dirt.
"Red dirt. That's what was on the window." Sam said catching on. Dean nodded and we all jumped out, guns and torches ready.
"Ah, you take the front. I'll go around. Em. Cover me."
I followed Dean to the back of the house. It was still under construction so it was incredibly easy to break into. I don't even think there was a lock on the front door for Sam to pick. Dean and I quietly made our way down to a large empty room full of cages… with children in them. We tapped on one with a little boy in it. Praying they were all still alive.
"Ben... Ben... it's okay. I'm gonna get you out of here, okay?" Dean said as Ben's face came apparent in Dean's flashlight. We went cage to cage trying to figure out how many kids were in here. I found there was one with a grown woman… I recognized her briefly from somewhere. WAIT! It's the real estate agent from the sign out front!
"Dean! Look… the mother."
"Dammit. Sammy."
"He's okay. C'mon we gotta get these kids outta here, now." I finally snapped the lock on one of the cages, Dean rushed to Ben's cage, breaking it open and Ben ran into Dean's arms. Dean hugged him tightly.
"Come on. Let's go." Dean said setting him down and rustling his hair. I smiled. Daddy would be such a good Dad. He was so good to me…
Dean and I begin to break open the rest of the cages, as we do. I noticed Ben going cage to cage helping the children out of them.
"It's okay. You're gonna get out of here, all right?" He told a frightened little girl.
"Hurry!" I told them, waving them over to us. We busted the last ones out and Dean moved us over to a window.
"Come on, girls! Come on! Keep moving, keep moving." Dean called. When we got to the window he pushed us all away. "Okay, everybody back! Everybody back!" He prepared to punch through the window and break it open.
"Cover your eyes!" I told the children.
"Here. Use this." Ben called out, Dean and I looked down, He was offering his jacket to Dean to wrap his hand in. Dean smiled at him and took it, breaking the window and knocking lose all the glass so no one would get cut.
"All right. All right, Ben. Come on. Come on." Dean moved to lift him through the window, but Ben moved back.
"Him first." He insisted. I smiled. I'm impressed. Sam came running in the room.
"Hey! Dean! There's a mother."
"Yeah. We know. The real estate agent." I told him pointing to the weak woman in the corner.
"Yeah. We got to get these kids out quick."
"I guess that's why the changelings are keeping the kids alive – so the mom can snack on them." I said helping kids through the window. Sam grabbed the woman and prepared to help her out the window when one of the little girls screamed, we all turned to see the mother changeling behind us.
The boys began to fight with her.
"Emily! Get Ben and the others out of here!"
"Dean be careful!" I called out as I pushed the last few children and Ben out the window. When I turned around she flung Dean against the wall. His torch went flying across the room. I lunged for it while she was distracted and sent her up in flames. She screamed, and I could have sworn there were echoing screams outside the house. I didn't let go of the torch till it ran out of gas. When it did. I dropped it and ran to help Dean and Sam off the floor.
"C'mon… Lets get these kids home."
We dropped the children off one at a time, Sam took the woman to her house as well, she refused a hospital and just asked to be taken home. We saved Ben for last, only because he insisted. He wanted to make sure everyone got home first. I sat in the back seat, my arm around his shoulders. I dig this kid.
I see a lot of Dean in him… But Lisa must have raised him well.
When we pulled up Lisa ran out the front door and Ben ran into her arms.
"Ben?! Ben! Baby, are you okay?" Lisa cried.
"I'm okay, Mom."
"Oh, my god." She cried. "What the hell just happened?" She asked looking up to Dean.
"I'll explain everything if you want me to, but, trust me, you probably don't. The important thing is, is that Ben's safe."
"Thank you." She hugged Dean. "Thank you."
I walked up.
"He's an amazing kid. Brave." I told her. She smiled at me.
"Sammy and I are gonna give ya'll some time. We'll be down at the park when you're ready De."
"Thanks kiddo." Dean smiled, walking Lisa and Ben back inside.
Sam and I drove to the park and sat on the same bench where I met Ben.
"Does that kid kinda remind you of Dean?" Sam asked me.
I laughed.
"Yeah. He does… Dean's really good with him."
"Dean was always good with kids. Even if he'll never admit it. It's because of you."
"What?" I asked confused.
"Em. Raising you… That's where he learned to be so good with kids. He was 10 already when you were born. He may not have done as much when you were a baby, but. The older you got, the older he got. The more Dad left you… and me. With him. He loved watching you grow up. He loved being the one you wanted to go to. He loved being the person that you trusted. Emily. When you were little. You once called him Daddy… I had never seen him cry until that day. Even when Mom died, he never let me see him cry. But that night… he cried."
I looked at Sam in awe.
"He was so… happy. He felt so loved by you, we both did. You were always the light in our shitty lives kiddo. You were happy all the time, you made him happy. As much as I tried to help raise you, the only time I really got to contribute is when he left on hunts with Dad. If Dean was there, he insisted on doing everything for you. Baths. Homework. Play time. When you cried… it broke his heart. He'd do anything to fix it. He would never admit it, but he would get jealous of Dad. When he'd come home from hunts you'd run to him and never leave his side. Dean was used to being the one you ran too."
"…Why are you telling me all this?" I asked quietly. Fighting back tears.
"Because I want you to know how much he loves you. Loves us. Its why he did what he did. And why it bothers him so much that you won't let him help you. Why it bothers him that you keep locking yourself away from him. I know its hard for you because you've relied on him your whole life… but I promise its just as hard for him, because he will always see you as HIS little girl. And he just can't understand why you keep shutting him out."
"Is any of that true, or are you just saying all of this to guilt trip me."
"Em I would never do this to guilt trip you. I know you're hurting. I just know he is too. We all are. I'm telling you this so you'll understand. Dean doesn't want to die. He doesn't want to leave you… he doesn't want to leave either of us, hurt us. And I know he's afraid of it, but we've gotta find a way to save him. You've got a lot of life left to live, and I'll be damned if we aren't both there to see it."
"Sammy… did it ever bother you?"
"What?"
"How close we always were. I never wanted you to feel like you were left out, and I was afraid that was why you left for Stanford."
"No of course not! Emily, I left for me. And I was okay with just playing big brother and letting Dean play Daddy. It was important to him, and he raised me too ya know. I was okay with just getting to grow up with you."
"I don't want it to be like I'm helping you save Dean because I'm choosing him over you… I would never do that. I love you both as equals and I'm so afraid you'll think I'm picking him."
"No, sweetheart…" Sam turned on the bench and made sure he had my full attention. "I would never do that to you. I promise. I would never put you in that position. I'm not going anywhere. I promise you. But I've got an ace up my sleeve right now, and I can't let Dean in on it yet. I just need to know that you're with me Em."
"Okay. I'll help you."