Emily Anne

by WinchestersWorld4

This is the story of Emily Anne Winchester. The little sister of Sam & Dean. The story explores how the dynamics of the show could change if a sister had been thrown into the mix. Emily is brave like Dean, intuitive like Sam, but has they eyes and temper of her daddy John. The story follows the show but has original bits as well.

52. Chapter 52

Author's Note: Okay… so this is long. But my original chapters usually are. Lots going on! Please leave a review! I love to hear what you guys have to say! I love talking with you all about my ideas. Sorry it took so long to get this up. I wrote and then re wrote and tried to make this perfect! SO- please review. Love you guys! Thank you for following Em's story!

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or its characters.

"So..." Judson mused. "Whats in Ohio?"

Everything I can never have.

"Trees."

"Wow. I'm shocked." He deadpanned. "So let me get this straight. I have to drive you halfway across the country, but I don't get to know why?"

I sat for a second and thought about my answer… what could I say? He wouldn't understand. He doesn't know… If I go to Bobby he'll call my brothers. Bobby already knows about my tragic disaster I call life. I need something…

Normal.

I need to go to the one person who made me feel like I was normal for even five seconds. I just… I need him right now. I need him to hold me. I need him to tell me I'm okay.

Even though I'm not. And I don't feel like I ever will be.

Sam died not long after we left him… My brain went straight from getting over my heartbreak to grieving. I never really looked back after that. I never had time to miss him. But the moment I realized where I wanted to go tonight I knew I still wanted him. I felt that distance. I felt that pain.

I miss Luke.

"No." I whispered. Continuing my internal pity party.

"C'mon Emily… you gotta give me something. I mean. You literally grabbed your bag and ran. You didn't say a word to either of your brothers? What the hell's going on?"

"Why do you have to know everything? Huh?" I snapped. "Why should I tell you?! Its not like you care."

"Then why ask me to take you?" He said with increasing irritation. I knew if I didn't back off a little he'd turn around. And We're not far enough away from my brothers for me to have a chance to get away quickly.

"Because. I just… I needed an out. And I needed an out right then and there… and you're not whipped by my brothers. I can trust you not to call them the moment I'm not looking."

"Needed an out from what?"

"… Please. I just. My head hurts and I just want to shut my eyes for a few minutes."

"Do you always whine this much?"

"Shut up." I groaned. Shutting my eyes and praying for a few minutes of peace.

Instantly my phone began to buzz.

Fuck.

I looked down and found Dean's name flashing across the small screen. I rejected the call.

"Wow. 11 minutes. They're good." Judson chuckled. "You're really gonna owe me for pissing off your brothers."

"They'll get over it. They don't have a right to be angry."

"More secrets." Judson sighed. "Do you like being a mystery?"

"I just don't like nosy people." I smiled back, he laughed.

My phone buzzed again… reject.

Again… reject.

"Damn girl. You're cold. You know the more you do this the more intrigued and uh 'nosy' I'm getting over here."

"I just can't talk to them right now." I mumbled. I looked up to Judson, and its like he was finally realizing that I was barely holding myself together. I was moments away from falling to the ground and never getting up again. I was wrecked… and the look in his eyes told me he knew it.

He stared at me for a moment and looked back up to the road.

"Hey. You got anything nice to wear in that bag?"

"What?" I asked confused.

"I said do you have anything nice in there?"

"Uh? Jeans? Black vneck?"

"Perfect." He grinned.

(Sam's POV)

"Son of a bitch!" Dean yelled as he threw the phone down on the bed, spinning in a circle and rubbing his hands along the back of his head.

"Dean. Calm down. Judson's truck is gone, he's not in his room. They're probably together. At least she's not alone."

"Calm down?! Calm down!... She's gone Sam! She took off, EMILY took off!"

"I can see that Dean, and I'm just as upset about it as you are but panicking does us no good."

"No! No you're not! Okay… this isn't you at 18! This is Em, our Em. She doesn't run from things! She's the one person that never left me, never."

I watched the wheels turn across his face. He's terrified.

"Okay. You're right. I'm sorry." I told him.

"Why won't she answer the damn phone!"

"Because she doesn't want to Dean! We're better off trying to figure out what set her off in the first place. Retrace her steps… figure out where things went so bad that she felt the need to take off with some guy who pisses her off every 20 minutes."

"Dude. You're so bad at flirting you can't even tell when other people do it. She's into him. I just can't figure out if he's into her. If he is I'll rip out his freakin lungs!"

"Dean. Get back to the point." I sighed.

"Right.. right. Okay. Well, the last I saw her was when I told her to go take a shower."

"Okay, and then she did. She got out, asked me where you went, I told her outside and she went out the door.

"Wait, she came looking for me?"

"Yeah, she didn't seem mad or upset though. She actually seemed to be doing better than she was earlier."

"Okay then what?"

"Then nothing… I stepped outside to the car. Judson was finishing up at his truck. I asked him if he needed anything, he said no, kept looking around the corner, when I asked why he said he was waiting for her to come back around so he could harass her for how much he spent on a new wiring kit. I went back in, and then eight minutes ago you came back through the door."

"Son of a bitch." Dean mumbled closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. He slowly sat down on the bed.

"Dean, could you explain to me what you're thinking here?"

"I know why she left… she heard us."

"Us? Who's us."

"Ruby."

"Ruby? Dean, what the hell are you talking about?"

"Uh. Ruby… she uh. She came to talk to me. Emily must have seen us talking and got pissed and took off." Dean explained.

He stared straight ahead, not looking me in the eye as he spoke. But he didn't need to, I could tell there was more to the story, but now's not the time to ask. We've gotta find Em before she does something stupid.

"I'm calling her again." Dean sighed.

"Dean. She's not going to answer… just send her a text message. At least that way she can hear what we have to say without feeling like she has to respond."

Dean stared at me with a mild look of disgust.

"I swear, you're way too in tune with the female gender." He finally said.

I rolled my eyes and went back to packing up the car.

(Emily's POV)

"Dude, where are we? We're like 20 miles off course here."

"Will you chill out? We're fine. Stop fidgeting."

"I'm trying to fix my shirt thank you very much." I snapped as I pulled at my top, adjusting the V in the front so that it sits evenly across my cleavage.

"Don't worry they're front and center, I'm sure everyone will appreciate that, I certainly do." He winked.

"Ugh, you're a pig." I groaned as my eyes rolled.

My phone buzzed on the seat between us again. Dean stopped calling a couple of hours ago. I looked down and saw that I had a text message. I fiddled with the phone for a few minutes.

"Are we going to read it?"

"No WE are not. I will… later."

"Too afraid he'll guilt you into turning around?"

How does he see right through me like that?

"No." I quickly lied.

"Alright." He said leaning over me and grabbing a tie out of his glove box. "Blind fold yourself."

"What?!"

"Use the tie to make a blindfold."

"Hell no!"

"Emily, where is your sense of adventure?" He teased.

"Not sitting in the truck with a potential psycho!"

"Hey out of the two of us I'm much less likely going to be the psycho."

"Oh fuck you."

"C'mon just put it on!" He laughed.

"Fine." I groaned. I Begrudgingly tied the tie around my face, securing it so I could only see a very thin line at the bottom to make sure I won't trip if I have to walk.

"You better not cheat."

"I'm not a cheater." I sighed. "This is really ridiculous. We're never going to make it to Ohio if we keep taking detours."

"You're the worst road tripper in the world."

"I'm not a road tripper. I'm a hunter. When I have something to do, I do it."

"You're such a party pooper. You're 17, good looking, and sarcastic as hell. Why do you not have more fun in life?"

Because my life is like a never ending black hole of tragedy with fucked up twists and turns sprinkled into it like glitter.

"I am fun. You just annoy me."

"Yet you chose me to spend this trip with."

"Oh my god… are we there yet? This thing itches." I said pulling at the tie.

"Almost, don't pull it off." He said swatting at my hands.

We spent a couple more minutes on smooth straight roads. A stop light or two if I had to guess, but then we took a large turn to the right, and another to the left. The truck crawled before coming to a complete stop.

"Okay. Don't move. I'm gonna come around."

"Just hurry up."

He chuckled and I heard him climb out and shut his door, moments later my door swung open.

"Give me your hand."

"No. I can do it myself."

"Stop being stubborn and give me your hand."

"Fine." I grumbled. I reached out and he grabbed my hand. I jumped slightly, part of me wished he'd never let it go, the other part wished he would get this over with so I could get to Luke.

I carefully turned and jumped, using his hand to balance myself, he laid the other on my waist and this funny feeling hit my stomach. Once I was steady on the ground he led me away from the truck and shut the door.

"Okay, ready?" He asked excitedly as he stood behind me and held onto the tie.

"Yes." I sighed.

"Get happy grump." He said. "Okay, here goes."

He lifted the tie slowly and I had my eyes closed, once I opened them I gasped in excitement. We were standing in the parking lot of a Cheesecake Factory Restaurant. This place is top dollar and has the world's best cheesecake!

"Oh my god! I've been begging Dean for years to take me here!" I squealed. I turned and looked at him, he was smiling. "What are we doing here?!"

"Well. You didn't get your birthday cheesecake. And you said it's a tradition. So…"

"Wow. Judson. That is… this. Wow." I said looking back and forth between him and the large yellow building. "Thank you."

"Lets go eat. I'm starving." He said leading us inside. I was stunned. I couldn't believe he did this. It was… I don't even know. One of the nicest things he ever could have. I mean, he listened. He paid attention to what was said, and actually remembered it enough to use it to cheer me up. I'm… shocked. But. So happy.

When we walked in there was a large glass case and counter to the left. It was filled with different kinds of cheesecakes. Lots of colors, lots of flavors… oh the chocolate.

I was in awe.

"Whoa." I said looking at the prices. This was insane! Over 50 bucks for one cheesecake?!

"What?" Judson asked.

"Have you seen the prices on these things? I mean is this shit made of gold?"

"Why don't we find out?"

"You're kidding." I told him. Waiting for his sarcastic respone.

"Not in the least. Table for two please." He said as we approached the hostess. She led us over to the back of the section so that we were a few tables away from anyone else, giving us some privacy. They left us the wine list and menus, which by the way, if you thought the cheesecake was expensive… geez.

"So are we doing dinner and dessert or just dessert?" Judson asked.

"I'm down for whichever."

"Well its your birthday dinner, so you choose."

I smiled over at him.

"Thank you." I said softly. "You have no idea how much this means to me."

"I couldn't take riding around with your moping." He shrugged.

"Moodkiller." I said rolling my eyes.

"So? What's the verdict?"

"I'm thinking appetizers and desserts. I mean, fried mac n cheese balls? Calamari? How can a girl pass these things up?"

Judson laughed. "Sounds like a plan to me. What kind of cheesecake are you gonna get?"

"Hmmm…" I scanned the menu a few times. "Probably the oreo one."

"And?"

"And… what?" I asked confused.

"Well we didn't come all this way for you to try only one piece. I mean who knows when you'll get the chance to come back. Better take advantage while you can."

"So… what are we thinking? Two or three pieces?"

"You're thinking small here kid, I'm a little disappointed. I wanted to see how the bottomless pit thing worked." He challenged.

"Oh really?" I challenged back. "Spending limit?"

"None."

I smiled as the waiter came over to us.

"Hi, can we get the calamari, fried mac n cheese, and one slice of every cheesecake flavor on the menu, except anything with lemons, cinnamon, or the plain kind. Thanks."

The waiter looked a little dumbfounded before smiling and taking the menus from our hands.

"That poor guy looked like he was going to piss his pants." I said as he walked away.

"I think your ambition makes him nervous."

"It should. I can do amazing things." I said with a wink.

"Oh, I'm sure you can." He grinned deviously.

"You're as perverted as Dean is."

"Speaking of Dean. Are you going to open that message."

"No."

"Stop being an ass. Talk to your brother."

"No."

"Whatever it is you're only making it worse. Just get it over with. Rip off the band-aid."

"No."

"Are you always this stubborn?"

"Yes." I said with a smile. He glared at me.

"Fine! But, after dinner. Please. I don't want to ruin this."

"Deal." He said reaching out his hand and shaking on the matter.

"So you seem to want to know all about my business. But you never offer to share any of your own. So go on, spill." I told him as we munched on the calamari.

"There's not much to tell. My family died. My uncle taught me how to hunt, now I hunt. Life story summed up."

"Wow. Very descriptive."

Sounds so simple. I wish my life was as simple as that. I wish it was just, hey. My Mother died so I'm going to hunt things that kill mothers. That's it! Just hunt. No abilities, no demons, no bullshit.

"Yeah well, I'm not big on the details. I like to get straight to the point."

"Was it hard being a big brother?" I asked. Thinking about mine.

"How do you know I was a big brother and not a little one?" He asked curiously.

"Because I have two massive over protective brothers of my own. I recognize a big brother when I see one. You're protective. It's like a second nature. It's a big brother thing."

"No it wasn't hard. Not until she died. Then it was. Having to live with the fact that I couldn't save her, that I failed her."

"I'm sorry."

"It happened. You just. Learn to live with it. Move on."

I sat there. Chewing… wondering how in the hell I'd ever learn to live with Dean being in hell. The bite that was tempting and delicious only seconds ago, suddenly made me nauseous. I put down my fork and fidgeted with my hands.

"Emily." Judson said, watching me carefully. "What's wrong?"

I looked around the room, willing my eyes not to water. Begging them to pull back and control themselves like I was trying to do.

"So, what kind of cheesecake should we try first?" I asked plastering on the all too familiar fake smile.

"Why do you do that?"

"I think I'm going to try he strawberry first. I love strawberry. Then something with chocolate… then there was one that has an almond crust. That sounds good right?"

Judson sighed defeatedly.

"I want to try the salted caramel." He finally said. I smiled at him. We went back to picking at the appetizers waiting for the buffet of cheesecakes to make it to the table. Once they arrived they took up the entire table and they left the tray they used to carry them out, it was… almost too much. But can you ever have too much cheesecake?

"Okay. You go first." I said excitedly. He chuckled before lifting his fork and diving into the salted caramel. I watched him carefully as he slowly chewed, enjoying the piece thoroughly.

"Okay. Try it. It'll change your life." He said turning the plate towards me. I nodded and dove my fork in, taking a huge bite.

"OH. MY. GOODNESS." I said slowly, savoring the amazing blend of flavors in my mouth. "I have to try every single freaking one of these."

Judson laughed and waved his hand. "Be my guest."

I dug into piece after piece. Not finishing any of them, but taking a good bite or two. Maybe more if the piece was amazingly delicious, which most of them were. Judson laughed at my ambition and picked out a few to try himself… an hour later. I could barely move, let alone lift the fork for another bite.

"You're not going to puke in my truck are you?" Judson asked as the waiter came and picked up the bill.

"No. No… the pit holds all it's captives hostage until death." I mumbled, laying back with closed eyes.

"So, was it worth it?"

"Ten times over." I giggled. "Thank you again… I can help with the ta-"

"No. You can't. It's your birthday dinner. You're not paying."

"Dude. This is a lot of fucking food. Expensive food."

"Are you saying I look poor?" He said with mild offense.

"No! Geez. Don't take it like that."

"Well then allow me to buy you dinner without questioning my billfold."

"Fine." I said with my hands up in surrender as I sank down into the seat.

"Think you can walk back to the truck?" He said standing, holding out his hand to help me up. I waved him off.

"I'm not pregnant. I've just got a food baby in here." I said as I stood and rubbed my bloated belly. He rolled his eyes and led us out the door. It took an extra step or two to climb up into the truck, all of which was spent with Judson laughing at me.

"Alright." He said as he climbed in. "Should we bunker down for the night? I can grab us a room, we can sleep and drive the rest of the way tomorrow, be there by tomorrow night."

"No. I think we should drive through the night. I can drive if I need to." I quickly said. I don't want to try and sleep without either of my brothers there… I don't want any more nightmares. If I'm going to get any rest at all it'll be while we're driving.

"Why?"

"Please." I said with puppy dog eyes. He scoffed.

"Man you're high maintenance."

"I am NOT high maintenance. I just… don't want to sleep right now."

"Nightmares?"

You have no idea…

"I just don't want to. Okay? So if I start dozing off wake me up."

"Fine… you know if you're just going to be sitting there then you might as well read Dean's text. Figure out what you're going to say back. You've got a solid 18 hours to think about it."

"Why are you so worried about what I'm going to say to MY brother? You don't even know what's going on."

"Well. I might if a certain person wasn't so uptight and mysterious."

"Oh first I'm high maintenance and now I'm uptight? Wow. You're on a roll." I said sarcastically.

"Just read the damn message."

"I will! Just shut up and drive!"

He shook his head at me and I rolled my eyes, pulling up my knees and turning towards the door to stare out the window as we drove back onto the highway. It was dark, and the lights of the city sparkled through the trees. I watched until we were so far out that you couldn't see the lights anymore… then, I picked up my phone.

Dean: Babygirl, I know what you heard and I know what you're thinking. I'm scared too. I wish there was another way. I don't want to leave you, but this is what I had to do. I told you from the beginning to use this time to accept it, prepare yourself. I didn't want your hopes up. I'm so sorry babygirl… I know I hurt you. But please. You're the only one who never left me. Don't leave me now. I love you.

I shut the phone and set it down on the seat behind me, turning myself further towards the door and away from Judson. I bit down on my lip hard enough to draw blood. Willing myself not to fall apart right now. Not to show weakness. Not to cry in front of him. Not him…

But how am I supposed to respond to that? What could I say?

I just want to be in Luke's arms. I want to go back to the one place I was truly happy before my entire life fell apart. I want to go back and pretend things aren't as horrible as they are. I just want to forget all of this… I just want life to be different.

As discreetly as I possibly could I wiped a stray tear, hoping he wouldn't notice. I got even more frustrated as my nose began to run and tried to cover my sniffle with a cough, but I wasn't sure it worked.

Judson leaned forward and turned on the radio. Turning it up loud enough to drown out any sound I could make. I wanted to turn around and thank him, but I couldn't move. My shoulder shook for only a moment as a muffled sob escaped me. I readjusted and bit down on my lip again. Rocking back and forth slightly as the music played.

My eyes slowly began to close.

"Emily!" Dean's voice cried out to me. "Emily! Help me!"

Back in the same house… in the same room.

Hellhounds barking, growling… ripping something apart.

"DEAN!" I yelled, looking for him as I ran, as fast and as hard as I could. Looking for him. Trying to save him. Dammit! Why can't I find him!

"Emily!" He cried out in pain.

"Dean!" I sobbed as I spun, opening door after door as I looked for him. Drenched in sweat, my hands covered in blood.

More barking, I followed the sound at a sprint, before coming to a set of wooden locked doors. I pulled and shoved, trying to break them open. Dean's voice screamed out in pain from the other side. Everything in me jolted and I ripped the door open. Once inside I found Dean lying on the ground, blood and flesh being ripped away from him as he choked.

"NO! DEAN!"

A hand on my shoulder shook me and I jumped, banging my knee on the dashboard in my panic.

"Whoa! Whoa.. you're okay!" Someone said but all I could do was look around me in search of Dean. After a moment I realized I was in Judson's truck… the voice. It was his. The radio was buzzing, the lights were flashing, the windshield wipers were going haywire. Judson's face was panicked as he looked between me and the truck.

"Stop! Stop!" I cried as I struggled to open the door. He ripped the truck to the right and slammed on the breaks, barely stopping before I jumped out. Walking towards the empty field on the side of the road. Trying to catch my breath that was coming rapid and short.

"Emily! Emily wait where are you going?" Judson called as he chased after me.

"I just. I just need a minute! Please. Just… go back!"

"Emily slow down, wait a second." He said still pushing towards me. I stopped and bent over, gripping my knees as I drew in large breaths. Begging to stop this before a panic attack ensued.

"Damn girl. You're fast." He said out of breath as he caught up next to me. I didn't reply. "Emily. Talk to me, I mean one second you were asleep and the next my truck was having a meltdown."

"I told you not to let me fall asleep!" I yelled angrily, turning and standing to face him. He looked at me in disbelief.

"Are you serious right now? You're blaming this on me?!"

"YES!"

"Fine! Its all my fucking fault!" He said throwing his hands up in the air and walking away. "You can walk your grumpy ass to Ohio."

"Wait… I'm sorry." I said. He stopped and turned back around.

"Look. I know we haven't known each other for long, and you don't owe me anything, okay? But… whatever you're bottling up in there. It's eating at you. I don't know a whole hell of a lot about the world, but I know what it's like to grieve. It's a process. A long hard one, and sometimes you need help. Why won't you just talk to me?"

Because you would think I was pathetic.

Because you would think I was a cry baby.

Because you would run for the hills to get away from me.

Because you would know how truly fucked up I was.

"Because I can't." I whispered. "I'm sorry about your truck. I'll pay if I messed anything up."

"The truck is fine." He scoffed. "But you're not."

"I will be. I just. I need to get to Ohio. Please." I begged quietly.

He stared at me. Not responding. Not blinking. Almost like he was trying to read my mind. It was intense, his eyes. So green. Like emeralds. Bored into mine and made me feel slightly weak at the knees.

He took two steps forward and closed the distance between us, I flinched as he reached up to touch me. He hesitated, but then slowly raised his hand again, pushing my hair out of my face, the sweat causing it to stick slightly. He pinned the loose hair behind my ear. I closed my eyes and let out the breath I didn't realize I had been holding.

"I'm not going to hurt you Emily."

You don't know that.

"Yeah. I know." I lied.

"Come on, we've still got 9 hours to go." He said softly. It wasn't until then I noticed, it was no longer pitch dark outside, but the sun was barely present in the cloudy sky.

"I was out for 9 hours?" I asked curiously.

"Yeah, all of which were filled with a mix of your snoring and your phone ringing. Dean called another 10 million times."

"Great." I sighed. I started back towards the truck, Judson following behind me. We stopped at the next gas station for a bathroom break and some drinks. Breakfast for him… I still didn't have an appetite after last night.

"Okay, we'll be hitting Halltown at about 2 this afternoon. You should probably toss the heads up to whoever it is we're going to see."

"How do you know it's a someone?" I challenged.

"Intuition." He smirked. "So uh, the nightmare… have something to do with Dean's message last night?"

"Yeah." I admitted with a sigh. No sense in lying about that. I think it was pretty obvious.

"What did you hear that upset you so much you had to run away from them?" He asked boldly. I turned and looked at him in shock.

"Did you read my texts?!"

"Well. I told you I was curious! You were passed out. The phone kept buzzing… don't look at me like that!"

"I can't believe you got into my fucking phone and read through my messages! That was so rude!"

"Well, you shouldn't ask people to drive you across the country and not give them a reason why. That's pretty rude too don't you think?"

"Ugh! You're un fucking believable! You know that?"

"Well I have heard that before… usually its right before the women climb out of the bed and put on their clothes."

"Oh god… I think I just puked a little."

"Trust me, you'd say those first two words again… and again… an-"

"OH shut up! I get it!"

Judson laughed and turned up the music. I pulled out my sunglasses and leaned against the seat. Sipping at my water bottle.

(Sam's POV)

"No Bobby…" Dean sighed. "We didn't get into a fight. She just… got upset when she saw me talking to Ruby… about hell... Well I don't know Bobby!"

"Gimme the phone." I told him reaching out my hand. Dean rolled his eyes before slapping it into my hand.

"Hey Bobby its Sam, listen do you have that Judson kids number? We think he may have given her a lift to wherever she took off to."

"Well if Judson went with her I don't see him dropping her off no place. He's gotta know the three of us would have his ass for leaving her alone." Bobby grumbled.

"Well, if we can track him down then maybe we can track her down too."

"She isn't taking calls from you either boy?"

"No Bobby… she's off the grid. Something's really got her going this time."

"Well. I'll keep trying to call, I'll call Judson too, when I send you boys his number don't go blowing up his phone. Or she'll catch on and leave him too. Control your brother over there."

I looked over to Dean, who for the last 18 hours had a look of pure panic plastered on his face.

"I'll do my best Bobby."

"Yeah. I know… he's a wreck. Alright boy, you two stay sharp. We'll find her."

"Thanks Bobby."

I snapped the phone shut and handed it back to Dean.

"Jo said she hasn't heard from her in weeks. Ellen either. Bobby hasn't seen her.." He began to run down the list of contacts.

"Dean, we gotta keep calm about this. She's probably with Judson, Bobby agreed there's no way in hell he'd risk leaving her alone. You've trusted him to keep her safe before, trust him now. We'll find her."

"Why the hell are you so calm about this?! Emily is gone! We have NO idea where she is! There's no note! There's no tracks! There's no kidnapping demon… yet! I mean she could be anywhere!"

Dean's mention of the note made the wheels in my head turn.

"Dean. How far away from Ohio are we?"

"I don't know!" He yelled exasperated. "Why the hell do I care?"

"Dean. Stop freaking out and think. Who's in Ohio?"

He shook his head and rolled his eyes, then he got very quiet. He suddenly flicked his head back to face me. A look of disbelief on his face.

"She wouldn't…"

"Oh I think she would. She's done it before."

"She hasn't talked about that guy in months!"

"Yeah, because right after we left I died, you made the deal, and ever since then she's been worried about us."

"Dammit." Dean grumbled, turning the car around and heading towards Ohio. If that is where she went, she's got about 12 hours on us. I really hope she wasn't stupid enough to go back there, to get Luke mixed into all this again. But at the same time I'm praying she's there so that I at least know she's safe.

(Emily's POV)

The closer we got the more ancy I became. I fidgeted, tapped my foot, chewed on my nails- that is until Judson grabbed my hand and pulled it away from my mouth. Subconsciously I moved closer to him on the seat. I didn't realize it until I was situated against his hip.

"Emily." He said softly.

"Huh?"

"You uh, you cold or something?"

"No?" I said confused.

"Because if you come any closer you'll be in my lap."

I looked down and realized I practically was sitting in his lap.

"Sorry." I said scooting over. "Nerves."

"Care to elaborate?... Wait. No. I forgot. You don't tell any of your secrets."

"Okay, I'm gonna scoot back over now." I said shakily as we crossed the city limit sign for Halltown, I placed myself right up against him. Only for the sake of the comfort that I wasn't alone.

"Emily, you begged me to get you here. Don't chicken out now on whatever this is. We came too far. And the gas bill on this truck is ridiculous."

I shook my head without saying anything. I started fidgeting with my hands again but he slapped them lightly and shot me a warning look. I separated my hands. The one on the right slid under my leg, the one to the left took in a small handful of the bottom of his shirt and began lightly twisting it.

He didn't notice for the first minute or two, but when he did he grabbed my hand and laid it out flat on my knee, placing his on top of it to keep it still. I scratched my nails lightly against the denim, unable to keep still for even a moment.

I don't know why the hell I'm so nervous.

Maybe because I haven't spoken to Luke in months.

Maybe because I'm showing up out of nowhere.

He might hate me.

He might not remember me.

He might tell me to leave.

But even worse… he may love me still, and I'll only be hurting both of us all over again.

"Okay. So we're in town? Where are we going."

"What time is it?"

"Um, 2ish."

"Motel. I gotta change."

"Any motel? Or do you have a preference."

"The first one in the phone book. Just in case."

"Incase what? In case your brothers come looking for you?"

"…Just go to the damn motel." I sighed, leaning my head back and tapping my foot again.

"Girl you gotta chill. You're starting to put me on edge."

"I'm sorry. I just… I don't know."

Judson pulled the truck into the parking lot of the first motel we came across. Putting it in park and turning to face me.

"Look at me."

I sighed and turned, not realizing his face was only a few inches from mine. I froze.

"I'm here. I'm not letting anything bad happen to you. So whatever you're freaking out about in that head of yours, stop." He placed his hand under my chin and tilted it up a little. "You're starting to get on my nerves."

How can he be so sweet and such an ass all at the same time. Either way his pep talk did the trick. I felt all the shakiness in my limbs grow calm. A sense of peace hit me. I nodded lightly and he released me. We climbed out and grabbed a room. I immediately went to change.

I dug through my bag, shirt after shirt after shirt didn't seem good enough. I put on my sparkly jeans and finally settled on a black tank with an olive green button up I'd stolen from Dean. It makes the brown in my eyes pop. I pulled out my make up bag and started digging through it for some eyeliner. It took me a while but I finally pulled some even wings and dabbed on some mascara. A little blush and some dark lip gloss set the look as casual but sexy. I sighed as I stared at myself in the mirror.

I looked so different from the last time I saw him. Will he even recognize me? Will he still think I'm beautiful? Or is going to see right through all the sleepless nights, all the weight I dropped, how my curves don't fill my jeans the same way they once did.

Is he going to be interested in damaged goods?

…What would he think if he found out about my abilities? Would he be afraid of me? Hate me.

I felt my nerves picking back up. I paced around the bathroom and began to place the things back into the small bag. Something small and black caught my eye. The pill bottle.

I reached out and grabbed it. Opening and spilling a few out into my hand. Maybe that doc was right. If I'm going to do this… maybe I need help.

Maybe they can help.

I broke one of the small white pills in half and used my hand as a cup to drink from the faucet. Here goes nothing…

I put everything away, giving my hair one final lift at the roots with my hands. I walked out of the bathroom and found Judson laid against the headboard watching TV.

"Well." He said looking me up and down appreciatively. "We definitely came to see a someone didn't we?" He asked with tight eyes.

"Can I drive your truck over to the school please?"

"No."

"What? Why?"

"You lost your driving privileges when you hot wired my truck. I can drive you to the school."

"I really don't think that's necessary." I said nervously. Facing Luke is scary enough. Facing Luke with Judson watching… I don't even want to imagine how uncomfortable I'd be.

"Hey. Its up to you. Go to the school and see whoever this mystery person is. Or sit here and watch Beverly Hills 90210 re-runs all afternoon."

"Fine." I sighed. "But I don't want to hear a word out of you!"

"We'll see." He shrugged as he followed me out the door.

The motel was only a few minutes away from the school. It was almost 3. Almost time for the final bell if I remember correctly. We parked on the street in front of the main parking lot. My eyes scanned for the big black Chevy I'd become so fond of. Once I spotted it my heart sped up.

My eyes almost watered at the sight.

I was really here! He's really here! I just want to be in his arms.

The bell rang and snapped me out of my daze. I stood carefully watching the parking lot as people began to flow out of the building. Judson stood behind me. Aviators and a leather jacket on, leaning against the truck. If I wasn't preoccupied at the moment I might have had to take a second look to make sure I properly remembered this moment and how amazing he looked. BUT.

I'm here for Luke.

The parking lot began to fill with faces, some I slightly remembered. Some were all new. None seemed to really pay attention to Judson or I. Other than some of the girls eyeing him. I looked back and forth between the building and Luke's truck. Waiting for any sight of him.

Blue jerseys moved closer in our direction. My heart leaped and increased its pace. I watched one after the other as they appeared, waiting to see that long flowy hair. At the very back of the line a tall handsome guy with slightly shorter hair then I remembered appeared.

"Luke." I whispered. Everything in me felt immense joy, but at the same time this overwhelming flood of emotion. I put my hand to my face to hold myself back. Taking slow steps towards him, he hadn't yet noticed I was there.

I quickened my pace and was fixing to break out into a slow jog when the world stopped. I stopped.

He tossed his backpack in the truck as the beautiful red headed girl leaped into his arms. He twirled her around and around, causing her giggles to float over to me. Instead of immense joy I felt pain… I felt embarrassment.

What the hell was I doing here?! What the hell was I thinking. I watched him place his lips against hers and deepen the kiss only seconds after it began. Everything in me turned to flight mode. I turned back, arms crossed, eyes glued to the ground and quickly made my way back to the truck. Back to Judson who stood and watched the entire scene unfold before him.

I only thought I was embarrassed before I realized he had seen it all.

Now I was truly mortified.

Once close to the truck I jogged around the back and climbed into the passenger seat.

"Can we go back to the motel please?"

"What?!" Judson asked from outside the open driver's window. "We just got here."

"Please, take me back." I said with an even steady voice. Refusing to let myself portray any emotion.

"Emily you gotta at least say something to the guy!"

"I can't!" I snapped. "Okay! I can't… this. This was a mistake. Please. Just. Take me back to the motel."

Judson sighed and climbed into the truck, starting the engine and backing out of his parking spot. For a moment we were facing Luke and the redhead. Straight on. Like watching my heart get stomped on at a drive in movie. Judson paused before putting the truck in drive.

"Emily I-"

"Don't. Please." I whispered. One tear making its escape before I could stop it. Judson put the truck in drive and pulled away. My eyes stayed glued to Luke… and for a second. He looked back.

I quickly turned away and forced myself to look straight ahead at the road. Praying no one else from the town recognized me. Praying that Luke didn't recognize me.

How could I have been so stupid. Why did I do this to myself? I should have known he would find someone else. He's hot. He's nice. He was bound to find someone else. It's been months… I don't know what I was expecting.

Judson didn't push anything else until we were back at the motel. He parked and I went to open the door. He leaned across me and shut it before I could move.

"We did not come all this way for you to turn around and leave without coming here and at least talking to the guy. Don't you owe yourself that much?"

I scoffed. Don't I owe myself that… I owe myself nothing. This was my fault.

"You saw him." I turned and said. "I'm not fixing to step in and fuck with his life all over again. I owe HIM that much. It was stupid to think I'd come here, and he'd just be here… waiting."

I shook my head, opening the door and climbing out of the truck. I quickly pulled the room key and went inside. Bending down to the pathetic excuse for a mini bar.

"Em come on, don't do this." Judson said as he jogged to follow in behind me.

"Do what?! Be honest with myself? Face up to the truth? What is it you want me to do here? Barge in and ruin his relationship with this girl? Risk getting him killed for the third time now?! I mean what the fuck did I actually expect?"

I shook my head and laughed slightly out of disbelief. Judson watched me, I looked up to him and instantly recognized the look of pity. I'd been getting it for months from my brothers. From Bobby..

"Don't look at me like that. It makes me sick to my stomach."

I turned and walked towards the bathroom.

"Like what?" He asked defensively.

"Like you feel bad for me! Like you just watched me humiliate myself and now you feel bad about it… Like you watch how fucked my life is. Like you see right through all the bullshit I try to hide it! Just. I don't need your pity! I needed a ride, and I appreciate the ride. There's 200 bucks in my wallet." I said as I tossed it to him. "That should cover the room and half the gas I'll pay you the rest later. You can leave now." I turned and began walking back towards the bathroom.

"Yeah, right! Like I'm going to leave you here alone. Your brothers would skin me alive if I just ran off."

"Well I don't want you here so find someplace else to go."

"Oh come on! This is fucking ridiculous! SO what. The guy has a girlfriend! Life isn't over! You come into a situation and when it's not exactly what you wanted it to be you just walk away from it! You don't put any effort into fixing it, but you're more than happy to go cry about it. That's just. Brilliant. You obviously have life figured out don't you?!"

"Fuck you!"

"Well I wish you would so I could get something out of this whole ridiculous trip! We use MY truck, My money, My time… and for what?! So I can watch you mope around over some ex boyfriend? I mean is this really why we drove half way across the fucking country? For some dumb ass hick who obviously has questionable taste in women?"

"Shut up!" I yelled. His words stung. Like ten thousand bees all at once. The room rumbled and pictures fell to the ground.

"No! I think I've watched enough of your hissy fits I've earned the right to throw one of my own! Don't you think?!" He said picking up the coffee pot and smashing it into the ground. I jumped as the glass shattered and flew across the room.

"Why don't you go fuck yourself!" I yelled as I took the final steps into the bathroom. Slamming the door behind me and kicking it. Again. And again…. And again… and again.

I stopped to catch my breath, letting a few tears fall down my face… everything was so wrong. None of this was supposed to happen. None of it.

Not Luke.

Not Judson.

Not me fucking everything up.

I hated myself.

I hated everything about how pathetic I'd become. I hated everything about how I'd changed. From the way that I looked to the way that I felt. I hated it. I hated it all. I hated that he saw right through me. I hated the things he said about me. I hated the way Luke smiled when he looked at her. I hated that she had her hands. Her lips. On MY Luke…

I hated everything about this day. I wish I had never come here. I wish I had just taken off on my own and never gotten Judson involved! I wish I never talked to him at that stupid bar! I wish I realized then and there that he was an asshole and nothing would change that! I wish I didn't let myself think for even a minute that he truly cared about me.

I stood there staring at the door. Every second spent debating on calling Dean to come and get me. To get me as far away from here as humanly possible. To make everything alright.

But every time I stopped myself. Things weren't alright, and no matter what Dean had to say they wouldn't be. Words won't change the situation.

*Knock Knock*

The noise made me jump.

"I'm sorry. I guess I uh. Got a little carried away." Judson said, trying to down play the situation.

"Go away." I said loudly, trying to hide the pain in my voice.

"Emily come on, open the door." He said as he shook the handles.

"Why so you can judge me some more? Call me out about how pathetic I am!" I shouted.

"Em please. I shouldn't have said what I said. I didn't mean any of it. I was just pissed off. Just. Open the door and talk to me."

The last thing I wanted to do was tell him anything else about me or my life. So I didn't answer him. I wasn't going to cry to him. Not after what he said.

"Please come out, or I'm going to pick the lock and come in."

I splashed cold water on my face. Trying to dull some of the redness. I opened the door and ducked to walk under the arm he propped against the door. The moment I did he turned and grabbed my arm. I ripped it away from his grip.

"Emily stop. You've shut me out this entire time. Just… tell me what's going on! Please! For once. Tell me what's in your head."

I ignored him and grabbed my bag. Shoving all my stuff into it. Without a word I zipped it up and began walking towards the door. Swinging it open quickly.

"Emily! Stop, I'm not just going to let you go off on your own." He said yanking on the bag that was hung over my shoulder. It pulled me backwards.

"Why do you care!" I yelled fighting to get my bag back, but he just used it to pull me closer to him.

"Because I do!" I felt everything in me go ice cold as he stared at me. I couldn't move. "Dammit Emily… stop running from everything. Stop hiding from me. Just. Let me in." He whispered.

I dropped my face and my bottom lip quivered. I bit down to stop it.

"I can't." I whispered, not looking at him.

"Why?"

"Because then you can see how fucked up I really am… and you'll leave." I told him honestly, my voice cracking on the last word. I dropped my grip on the bag, and then so did he. I was too scared to look up. Find more pity written on his face. I wish he'd just leave. Just go now, so I don't have to wait. So I won't hold my breath… Just go.

"Emily, I'm here. I don't know why I let you drag me out here. I don't know why I care, okay? But I do, and nothing you could say would scare me off. In case you forgot I lived through tragedy. Been there done that. There's nothing flying through that head of yours that I can't take. So stop shutting me out. Stop pushing me away. Just. Talk to me."

I nodded slightly without looking up. Judson moved closer to me and before I realized what was happening his arms were around me. His chin resting on my head. I took handfuls of his shirt and held as tightly as I could. I took in a deep breath and held it. His hands ran up and down the length of my back, soothing my tense muscles.

I don't know why I felt safe when I was with Judson.

I don't know why my head fit perfectly against the curve of his chest.

I don't know why I never wanted him to let me go.

I slowly let out that same breath.

"Dean made a deal…" I whispered. Once I began talking his hands grew still, just holding me. My shoulders shook as I gave way to the tears that had been fighting their way to the surface for the last day. Judson's grip on me tightened and he pushed me against him until my entire body laid against his. His hands moved upward and one of them wove its way into my hair, gently rubbing my scalp with his fingers. He didn't say a word. He just held me as I finally began to cry.

"I can't save him." I cried as my hands pulled tighter against his shirt. "I don't know what to do… I can't lose him."

"I know." He whispered back, his head ducking down to where his lips were against my ear. He pulled my face away from his chest and gently rubbed his thumb down my cheek and over my slightly parted lips. Leaving it on my chin.

"Emily?" A voice from the still open doorway caught our attention.

"Luke." I whispered. Judson's hands slowly dropped. I stood froze, my eyes falling into blue rivers.

"Emily what are you doing here? Who is he?"

"I'm just a friend." Judson quickly answered. I don't know why that made me feel disappointed. But it did. I walked away from Judson and towards Luke. Who still looked as amazing as he did the day I left him.

"Luke…" I swallowed. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come here."

"But you did. Why?" He asked confused.

"I… I just. I'm sorry. I didn't know where else to go."

"Why what's wrong? What happened to you? You look like hell." Luke asked as he stepped forward, looking me up and down. He reached out and put his hand on my arm. The feel of his skin on mine. It was like electricity. Instantly I was drawn to him again. My lips crashed against his and even though for a split second he hesitated he returned the urgency.

I pushed for more. Wrapping my arms around his neck and running my hands through that flowy hair of his. Gripping his dark dirty blonde locks. He began to pull away and I held tighter, but it wasn't enough. He pushed me off of him.

"Emily what the hells going on here?" He asked out of breath. I tried to catch my breath too, but it was coming faster, and I looked between Judson and Luke and I don't know why but all of a sudden this rush of panic fell over me.

"Emily baby what's wrong?" Luke asked grabbing my face with both hands. My eyes flew to Judson who's face reflected the same worry. He moved closer to us.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to come here and and and- ruin things for you. And… she's so pretty and. I-I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Emily take a breath." Judson said as he stepped forward.

"Em baby its fine. I promise. Its okay… you're okay." Luke said as he kissed me again. Short soft kisses, one after another on my face. He hugged me tightly, but my eyes stayed locked on Judson. Who never tore his gaze away from mine.

"Hey, why don't we go somewhere? Huh? Just you and me… I missed you.. So much." He whispered. I nodded and pulled back.

"Yeah. Uh. I'll meet you outside in a second." I smiled softly. He turned and glanced at Judson before leaving the room.

"Judson." I sighed. "I'll be back in a few hours. Okay?"

"Yeah. Sure." He said as he watched me carefully. "But we're not done talking."

"Actually… I kinda think I'd like that." I whispered. I walked forward and hugged him. He hugged me back briefly.

"You better get going, or lover boy might get suspicious out there."

I laughed briefly. But I didn't want to let him go…

"Emily." He said after a moment longer of me hanging onto him. "Are you sure about all this? I mean. You seem a little a little nervous about taking off with him. I can tail you two if you want me to."

"No." I mumbled against him. "I'll be fine… I promise. He's a good guy. I'm in safe hands."

"Okay… then why are you still standing here."

I don't know. So I didn't answer him.

"Emily." Judson whispered.

"Yeah. I uh. I'm going." I said finally letting him go. I walked quickly out the door, shutting it behind me. I smiled as I found Luke standing in front of his truck. Looking sexy as hell. I walked over to him with a large grin.

"So where to?" I pushed my arms inside of his jacket, wrapping them around him.

"Where do you want to go?"

"…You still have the most comfortable bed in the world?"

"I do." He laughed. "And my mom's pulling a double and dad is on a business trip."

Something that I hadn't felt in a long time stirred from within me. The thought of me and him alone. IN a bed… Its like I could taste him just thinking about it.

"What are we waiting for?" I asked. We climbed into the truck and began driving through town. I missed this simple place. I missed how easy things were here. We drove past a group of kids from the school and I suddenly remembered the girl from the parking lot.

"So. Who is she?" I asked.

"Her name's Mary Ann. She uh, she moved her a couple of months ago."

"How long have you guys been dating…"

"Only a couple of weeks. Its not serious."

"You know its okay if it is serious. I didn't. I didn't expect you to not move on. I wanted you to be happy Luke."

"I know, its just… been hard."

"You mean changing your number the day after I left? Yeah. That was pretty hard." I said feeling a bit of anger slip out in my tone.

Luke sighed deeply.

"Pete called my mother when I was missing. When I came home she and the police were sitting in the kitchen. I told her I was with you… she threw my phone down the garbage disposal and cost us a $400 plumbing bill. She handed me a new one, new number. I promise Emily. I never would have done that to you. I never would have just cut you off… I. I still wanted to work things out."

"Yeah… I did too."

We pulled up into the familiar driveway. Into the large beautiful house, stopping to pet the same precious dog as last time. Then he led me back into the room with the most comfortable bed I've ever laid on. He kicked off his shoes and I did the same. Pulling off the button up and Jeans, leaving me in my tank and boy short underwear… Its not like its nothing he hasn't seen before. He stripped down to basketball shorts and we both buried ourselves under the comforter. His skin on my skin.

"Emily… what's wrong." Luke asked softly as he ran his fingertips along my waist.

"Everything." I said, my eyes betraying me again. Luke reached up and wiped away the few strays as they smeared my mascara.

"You know I would never say anything to hurt you… but you look rough baby. You're thinner, and. You're pale… your eyes. They're not bright like they were. Something happened to you… and I wasn't there for you."

I moved closer to him, our legs intertwining. My arms wound around his neck and his wound around my body, his fingertips now trailed over my hip and down my thigh. The motion sent shivers to the deepest and most intimate parts of my body.

"Em baby, tell me what happened."

I sighed.

"Sam… Sam died."

Luke instantly pulled back, putting us face to face. Making sure he could watch me as we talked. I laid back against the pillow, he positioned himself to hover over me.

"Emily… I can't. I'm so sorry. I know how much your brother's mean to you, how close you are."

"Well… It gets better." I whispered. "When Sam died… it was really bad. For both Dean and I. It was a really dark few days. And uh… Dean. He. He made a deal with a demon. A deal to bring Sam back." I paused and looked up to Luke to make sure he was following. His ocean blue eyes stayed glued to mine. Not blinking. Not pulling away, not showing any reaction. Just listening.

"He sold his soul to save Sam. In three months he'll be dragged into hell."

"Oh god… babe. I. I don't know what to say." He said as he wiped away the increasing amount of tears that simply insisted on ruining my perfectly winged eyeliner.

"I've tried so hard… So hard. But I can't find a way to save him." I cried. "I don't know what I'm gonna do… I need him Luke."

"Babe… I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say…" He just continued to wipe my eyes and brush the hair from my face as I cried.

"I'm sorry… I didn't want to come here and lay all this on you. I don't even know why I'm dragging you back into all this. Messing with your life."

"Baby don't do that. I'm glad you're here. I'm glad you wanted to come to me."

"I just. Wanted to go back to a place where I was happy. Before all this bullshit. And you always made me happy. I didn't know where else to go. I just… We fought so hard to find a way to save him. And there's nothing. And I panicked. I just wanted to forget it all."

Luke didn't respond. He knew there was nothing he could say… I knew it too. But just being in this bed with him made it easier to talk. To get this all off my chest. Having him hold me. Kiss me. Touch me.

He bent down and placed his lips on mine gently, then deepened the kiss. I melted like putty in his hands. Anything he wanted at this moment I would concede. My body beckoned for him… I flipped him to where I straddled him as he laid down against the bed. He bent one leg slightly, just enough for me to grind against his leg as I leaned down to kiss him again.

"Mmm… god I missed you."

I let go of everything that was weighing me down. I let go of everything that made me want to ball my eyes out. I let go of all the pain. All the rage. All the fear… in this moment only he and I existed.

Right now in this moment the only thing that mattered was feeling his body on mine.

His hands ran up and down the length of my body, pulling at the sides of my underwear every time he touched them until he eventually pulled them down and took them off, he followed with his shorts. I trailed my kisses down his face and onto his neck… then down his body. Pulling at his boxers with my teeth.

"Emily." He moaned. The noise only excited me more. Intensified my need to feel him. I reached down and stroked him, up and down. Over and over again.

Out of nowhere he grabbed my hips and pulled me forward. Showing me how bad he wanted this too. I sat up straight and pulled off my tank, leaving my lacy black bra exposed. He traced the edges of it before snapping it loose and tossing it into the floor.

There were no nerves. No fear. No worry of being caught.

There was just pure animalistic hunger. A drive to feel him inside of me. He bucked his hips and rubbed against the most sensitive parts of my body with the most sensitive parts of his. His thin boxers were the only thing that separated us. His hands reached up and ravished my chest, causing me to moan. I reached down and pulled his boxers off, straddling him as he lowered my body against his.

I gasped at the short lived sharp pain. I guess that happens when you go so long without any action. I lifted and he pulled me back down, further and further with each strike.

He sat up and flipped us, laying me flat against the bed. My legs wrapped his body, allowing him to go as deep as possible. We started slow, letting the tempo increase itself as our needs increased.

I never wanted to rush this. I never wanted this to end… I never wanted to forget the way he made me feel. How everything else disappeared when we made love.

(Sam's POV)

"I'm calling him again."

"Dean. He didn't answer the first 10 times. He didn't answer Bobby. Why would he answer you now?"

"I don't know man… I just. I gotta try something. I'm crazy over here."

I sighed and went back to driving. I demanded Dean switch me when he nearly ran us into oncoming traffic trying to call Emily for the millionth time. We were 6 hours out from Ohio. If she's there. We're going to find her. Judson's truck is pretty obvious… and if we're not looking for Judson's then we're looking for Luke's. So either way we just need to find a big ass truck and see if there's a brunette riding shotgun.

"Hello? Judson?" Dean's frantic voice pulled me back to reality.

"Put it on speaker." I told him. Dean pulled the phone away from his ear and pressed the button before leaning towards me so we could both clearly hear.

"You're insane you know that? I mean between you and Bobby I have over a dozen missed calls." Judson's irritated voice filled the car. I watched Dean's frustration grow.

"Are you with her or not man?!" He yelled.

"At the current moment no. I'm not, which is why I was able to answer. If she finds out we're talking she'll take off on me too you know."

Thank God… She's okay.

"Where is she?"

"Someone named Luke. Showed up. Swept her off her feet and left a couple hours ago."

Dean shot me a curious look. I knew she'd run to him… at least we're headed in the right direction. At least we know she's safe. I watched Dean visibly relax some in his seat.

"Man what the hell were you thinking taking off with her like that?"

"Hey don't chew my ass! She ran off cause of you. Went around the corner to find you and when she came back she was freaked, it was either I went with her or she took off on her own. You really rather her hop form bus stop to bus stop alone out there? I went to keep her ass safe."

"Just. Dammit… keep track of her for another six hours. We're on our way."

"And what happens when you get here and she takes off again?" He challenged. Dean didn't respond.

"Just watch her." I said into the phone before Dean hung it up.

"Well… I guess you were right Sammy." Dean sighed. "She ran straight to him. Although I still think its kinda awkward she had Judson take her."

"Yeah." I agreed. "He didn't sound so happy that she took off with Luke. Jealous you think?"

"Kinda sounds like it."

"Dean. He's right. What's to stop her from just taking off again? I mean… she may not want to come back."

"NO." Dean quickly said. "We're not doing this. We're not playing games. This is a FAMILY. You don't leave family. Emily wouldn't do that."

"Dean you're doing that!" I yelled in frustration. "Don't you get it?! That's how she feels about all this… that YOU are the one leaving."

"Sam this is different! I had no choice!"

"Oh you had choices Dean!"

"None that were acceptable! I had to do what I did to save you and I don't regret it for a second!"

I shook my head angrily.

"What part of yours and Ruby's conversation upset her so much that she took off…" I asked. Knowing he had kept it from me once already.

"I don't know." He lied.

(Emily's POV)

I laid on my stomach, hugging one of the pillows as my body recuperated. Luke lazily slung his arm over me and ran his hands up and down my back. We both dozed in and out of sleep for a few minutes. I felt more rested with just those few minutes of dozing than I had felt with hours of sleep recently.

When I closed my eyes I didn't fear nightmares. I didn't fear waking up, having another day pass with Dean's head still on the chopping block.

For months every time I watched the sun come up my heart would sink a little lower.

"Hey." Luke whispered.

I opened my eyes and focused on him.

"What does this mean for us?"

"… I don't know." I said honestly. "I mean its not like things have changed. If anything my life is more dangerous now then it was."

My abilities put him in more danger. But… I can't tell him. I can't let the one person I truly needed right now to find out that I was a freak. That I was the dangerous one now. That… I've killed.

"So what? You're going to leave again?"

"I have to…"

"I don't want you to go… I still love you."

"I love you too." I whispered. Knowing the one thing I wanted most, yet feared the most, was happening. I was getting him involved in my life. Putting him in danger… hurting us both all over again.

"I have to get back to the motel." I said hesitantly.

"Who's that guy?" Luke asked, sitting up and handing me my clothes.

"Another hunter we ran into. He's been helping us out a little. I uh. I needed a ride, and he was there."

"Hm."

"What?"

"I just. I don't know. I don't like the way he looked at you…"

"What do you mean?"

"Like. When I kissed you. He looked. Mad, like I was touching HIS girl."

"Ha. Yeah right." I said confidently. "He's not interested. Trust me."

"Are you?"

"No." I quickly said, but I felt the guilt punch me in the face. Deep down I knew that was a lie.

"How long are you staying in town?"

"I don't know. But if you're in the mood to play hooky tomorrow I should still be around." I smiled. He leaned over and kissed me again before standing and finishing dressing.

He dropped me off at the motel and I promised to meet him in the morning. I watched his truck drive away and remembered how hard it was the last time I left… how could I put myself through this twice. I sighed and grabbed my room key. Sliding it into the lock.

"Hey." I said quietly as I came in. Judson was laid out on the bed eating pizza and watching some old western movie.

"You look like you just had sex." He instantly said. I turned to him in shock.

"What?!"

He got up from the bed and walked over to me, crossing his arms.

"I said… You look like you just had sex. Did you?"

My cheeks burned red hot.

"No!" I said quickly turning away from him.

"You're a bad liar."

"Well so what if I did!"

"Then that would mean you made me drive you across the country for a booty call." He teased.

"I didn't even plan on that happening! It just did! Okay? If I knew I was going to have a booty call I would have driven myself!"

"Well. Whatever you did or didn't do with him… looks like it did you some good. I haven't seen that much color in your face since I met you."

I smiled a little.

"You hungry?"

"Starved!"

"Yeah well wild sex will do that to you." He winked.

"Oh shut up." I mumbled as I stuffed a piece of pizza in my mouth. I ate a couple more as walked around the room laying down salt lines and checking the locks. Painting a devils trap under the doormat.

"Damn, your brothers trained you up right didn't they?"

"Yeah. Well. When you've got demons hunting you down you get a little paranoid."

"Why are demons hunting you?" He asked as I laid down in the bed across from his.

"I don't know. Something to do with my abilities I think. They want me dead. Keep saying I'm too unpredictable."

"Did they try to kill Sam when he had his abilities?"

"No. Actually… they wanted him to join them. Be a leader of some army. Yellow eyes did something to us as babies. A lot of kids actually… then he had them kill each other off, the winner would lead the army."

"So wait, he put you and your brother against each other?"

I sighed… this was too much to explain.

"Can we just not get into all this."

"Hey. You agreed you would talk to me. All this is part of what's got you so messed up right?"

"Yeah."

"Well then explain it to me so I'll understand."

"Sam. He started having visions a year or so ago. They got stronger and stronger over time. All these other kids we met also had some sort of psychic ability. All that suddenly showed up out of no where. Some of them went crazy… some used it for good. Some for bad. Some just wished they'd go away. Sam always did."

"But they did go away, right?"

"… Only after he died." I whispered. "That's uh… that's why Dean made a deal. To bring him back."

Judson shook his head slightly. Like for the first time he was finally seeing the big picture. Understanding what's happened.

"So when did yours start?"

"A few days after Sam died. Yellow eyes was always teasing about how I had to ride things out on the bench till Sam was out of the game. I never knew what he meant… but the moment Sam died. Something in body flipped a switch. It was white hot blinding pain. Like lighting flowing through my blood. I spent the next three days sitting next to Sam's body, crying. But. When Dean took off. I got so angry… and these trees. I hit the ground and they all snapped. Like they'd been ripped in half."

"You still don't know what controls them?" He asked after a minute.

"No. Sam and Dean seem to think it's tied into my emotions. When I freak out they freak out. When I'm stressed they're more sensitive."

"Well I think they're right." Judson said.

"I think I'm exhausted, we should get some sleep. You drove all night. You've gotta be tired."

"Eh. I napped while you were gone."

"Well I'm going to get some sleep."

"I'm not going to get another repeat of last night am I?" He asked cautiously.

I looked up to him with a guilty expression.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry… Its not like you can control the nightmares."

I knew I should probably be honest with him… I know sleeping alone usually means I'll have nightmares. Sam and Dean aren't here… I'd be lying if I said I didn't expect any.

"I'll try not to rattle the place too much." I said with a small smile as I adjusted in the bed to get comfortable.

I fell asleep quickly. Easily… maybe I'd get lucky. Maybe the comfort of being with Luke would keep them away for at least one night. Maybe.

(Sam's POV)

"Text Judson, see what motel they're at." Dean demanded as we crossed into the city limits of Halltown.

"First motel on the right, just up the road." I told him once I got a reply. "Dean. How are we going to handle this?"

"We're gonna set her straight! You don't run off like that!"

"Dean, I'm serious. If we push too hard we'll just scare her off again. We need to be careful here."

Dean shook his head as he pulled into the motel. Our headlights flashed across Judson's truck, with Judson standing next to it. Dean put the car in park and jumped out.

"Dean! Chill out!" I warned him as he charged up to Judson.

"Where is she?!" He yelled.

"Sleeping. Peacefully… probably for the first time in a long time. So I thought maybe we could chat out here instead."

"Is she hurt?"

"Physically no. But she's pretty upset. Well… was. She came back from Luke's with a pretty cheery face if you know what I mean."

"Oh, dude gross! That's my little sister." I told him as I tried to erase the thought from my head. Dean looked ready to puke and murder Judson all at the same time.

"You let her hook up with the guy?!" Dean yelled.

"What was I supposed to do? Be a chaperone?"

"You could have at least made sure she kept her clothes on in the ONE day she was gone!"

"I'm not her boss. And you're not mine. I respect you and all, I do. But I don't think I'm the one you should be yelling at. I did nothing but make sure she was safe. Which she is. Inside this room, sleeping peacefully. Which is where I think we should leave her till she wakes up."

Dean's face showed the internal battle he was having with himself. He wanted so badly to barge in there and knock some sense into her, but the guilt he felt prevented him from doing so.

"Dean, maybe he's right. Lets just crash for the night and talk to her in the morning."

"What happens if she wakes up? Freaks out. You know how she is Sam."

"And so do I. Trust me… she fell asleep last night and my truck got quite the rude awakening." Judson added.

"The room next to yours better be empty! And I swear to God if I hear any kind of funny business going on in there I will kick in the damn door and rip you to shreds! STARTING with your penis!"

I rolled my eyes and Judson held up his hands in surrender as Dean stomped off the office to get us a room for the night.

"He always that cranky?" Judson asked.

"No. He just… gets touchy when it comes to Emily. He's more of a father than a big brother. That's his little girl in that room, and he'd give up the world to make her happy."

"So then I'm guessing it's been a long 9 months on him as well then."

"Wait." I looked at him in surprise. "She told you?"

"Not much… and trust me I damn near had to beat it out of her, but yeah. She told me a little bit. Kinda explains everything."

"Oh yeah, like what?"

"Like why she constantly looks like she's being held together by ductape."

I sighed. Knowing he was right.

"If she loses him, it may literally kill her." I said quietly. Something I could never admit out loud to Dean, it would only make his guilt worse.

"Yeah. I kinda got that same feeling." Judson sighed. "So what are we doing to save his ass?"

"… I've looked everywhere. Followed every lead. So far there's not much. Ruby say's she has a way to save him, but she's not exactly sharing the details on that."

"The same Ruby that Emily caught talking to Dean the other night?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Well… call it a hunch. But. When Emily finally started talking. She said something about not being able to save him. Maybe Ruby's not what you think she is. Maybe that's what got Emily upset enough to take off."

I thought over his words… paired them with Dean's reactions. It all made sense. But… I don't know.

Dean began walking back towards us. He held two room keys in the air, handing one to me and sticking one in Judson's face.

"Right next door pal. I will sleep with my ear on that wall. Got it?!"

"Yup." Judson said popping the P.

We all went in and bunkered down for the night.

(Emily's POV)

No.. no no no no no no..

I shook my head. Begging myself to wake up.

Not this again!

I panicked as I spun around in the same house… the same room

Every. Single. Fucking. Time.

"NO!" I yelled. Begging myself to wake up.

"EMILY!" Someone screamed… but it wasn't Dean.

"Luke?!"

My heart felt like it stopped beating. I waited to hear him again.

"Emily please!"

"LUKE!" I yelled as I ran room to room just like in every other dream. Afraid of finding him the same way I always find Dean.

"Luke!" I called, listening for his reply, but there wasn't anything. Everything had gone silent. The room was slowly getting darker and darker.

This isn't right. This isn't what happens. What the hell is happening?!

My eyes flew open and I sat straight up on the bed.

"Whoa! Damn." Judson said from beside me, sitting on the edge of my bed. "You good?"

I nodded my head up and down as I tried to catch my breath. I looked over at the clock. 4 am. At least I slept a while before this one got me.

"Em? You sure?" Judson asked.

I nodded again, not wanting my shaky voice to betray me.

"Sorry I scared you. You started yelling. So I figured I'd better wake you up."

"Yeah, no. Its fine. That's fine." I said quickly as I stood and pulled a water bottle from the fridge and drank from it. Pressing it to the side to the side of my face when I finished, enjoying the cold.

"You okay to go back to bed?" He asked quietly.

"Yeah. I'll be fine…"

I just wish I wasn't sleeping alone.

"You uh… You want me to stay?" He asked hesitantly, almost as if he could read my mind. I looked down at the floor guilty. How wrong is it to have sex with Luke and fall asleep with another man?

"Emily. Its just sleep… I just want you to get some rest."

I set the water bottle back down in the fridge before looking at him and nodding slowly. He didn't say another word as he pulled back the covers and grabbed the pillow off his bed and threw it onto mine. He laid down on his back, getting comfortable. I carefully laid down on my side. Not facing him, internally struggling with myself over this whole situation. I did want to sleep… I wanted to truly sleep.

I sighed as I turned over and scooted closer to him in the dark. I was surprised as his arm laid over my back and onto my shoulder. I carefully and quietly scooted in a little more, repeating this until I was snuggled against him, ensuring myself that I wasn't alone.

The rise and fall of his chest lulled me to sleep for the second time tonight.

"Emily."

"Mmmm…"

"Emily. Get up."

"Nooo…"

"EM! Rise and shine!"

The covers were ripped off of me and when I opened my eyes mouth to scream at Judson I suddenly stopped.

"Dean." I said nervously. He Sam and Judson were standing at the end of the bed. Sam looked worried. Judson looked apologetic, and Dean… well. Dean is Dean.

"What the fuck were you thinking?!"

"Did you call them?" I accused Judson, getting out of the bed and walking over to him, ignoring Dean.

"No. I didn't."

"He didn't have to Em! We aren't stupid. We knew to come look here on our own. I mean really we just sat down and decided what's the stupidest thing she could do right now?! And BAM! Here you are!" Dean yelled.

"Dean calm down." Sam warned.

"No! What the hell were you thinking Em?! You wanna come out here and screw around with Luke some more?! Drag him AND you through the mud again! Do you not remember how hard this was on you last time?"

"Yes Dean! I do. I remember more about that then you ever will! Okay? I sent him away. I almost got him killed. I broke his heart! I was ruined for days! Okay… I get it."

"Then why are you here?!"

I stared at Dean and shook my head, but didn't respond. I grabbed my bag and pushed past him to go to the bathroom. I changed and brushed my teeth, pulling my hair into a messy bun instead of brushing it. I washed my face and knew I didn't have time for make up.

I told Luke I'd meet him this morning. He'll be there in 20 minutes and I'll be damned if I let Dean get in the way of this. I stuffed my things back in my bag and exited the bathroom. Dropping my bag on the bed.

"Emily where are you going?" Sam asked.

"To meet Luke."

"Em come on. You know this is a bad idea."

"I don't care."

"Yes you do! Kiddo. You're gonna rip his heart out all over again."

"Well its too late for that Sam! I'm here, he knows it! It doesn't matter now."

"Oh we know all about your booty call, trust me." Dean groaned. I turned and stared at Judson.

"You too Brutus?" I snapped.

"Emil-"

"No, Judson. Really. Its fine… you find out a lot about people."

"Em I would never do anything to hurt you and you know that." He argued.

"Really?! Like telling my brothers I was out screwing Luke last night? Telling them we were here? You thought I'd be cool with all that? Did you tell them who you shared a bed with last night?"

"WHAT?!" Dean roared.

Judson didn't answer but ran his hand through his hair angrily.

"That's it! Its time to go." Dean said harshly.

"No! Its not!" I yelled. "Its not time to go! Its not fair! None of this is fair!"

"Life's not fair kiddo." Sam said sympathetically.

"I'm not leaving. Not yet."

"Yes. We are." Dean growled.

"NO! I owe him more than to run out without saying a damn word! You're just going to have to wait. Because I'm not running out on Luke."

"What like you ran out on me?" Dean asked, his eyes glossing over. Guilt washed over me.

"Dean I. I panicked."

"So did I once I realized you were gone. And it didn't stop… for hours. How could you just take off on me like that? YOU. Em… you weren't supposed to leave me."

"Yeah well you weren't supposed to leave me either." I said as I turned and walked out the door.

No one followed. No one yelled for me to stop. No one really knew what to say or do at this point… we were all lost. I just wanted to get to Luke.

I can't believe Judson told them. I can't believe I trusted him… dammit.

I walked down the road until I saw the large black truck driving in my direction. It slowed as it approached me, once it came to a stop I jogged around the side and climbed in.

"Hey baby, what are you doing walking around out here?"

"Bad morning." I sighed.

"Well I can fix that." He said as he leaned over and kissed me greedily.

I giggled when he broke away. He drove us down to the local lake. Backing the truck up to the edge so we could relax and watch the ducks as they float across the top of the water.

"Luke." I mumbled as I laid next to him in the bed of the truck.

"Yeah?"

"We should talk… about what happens from here."

He let out a deep sigh.

"I can't stay… I have to go back with Dean and Sam."

"I figured as much, when are you leaving?"

"As soon as you take me back to the motel." I whispered.

"Wait, your brothers are here?" He asked sitting up.

"Yeah. I woke up this morning and there they were. Ripping me a new one about running off."

"No.. no no no. Dammit." He groaned as he sat up.

"Luke babe what's wrong?"

"They weren't supposed to be here."

"What do you mean?" I asked confused as he jumped out of the bed of the truck and began pacing along side it. "Luke… talk to me here."

"This wasn't supposed to go like this. I was supposed to have time. They aren't here yet."

"Who's they?"

"The others."

"Others?" I asked cautiously. I had the slow sinking feeling something was wrong. Very. Wrong.

He stopped pacing and stared at me.

"Luke?" I whispered. His stare turned into an evil grin as he blinked and showed me black eyes.

"Oh my god." I shuttered. I jumped from the truck on the opposite side of him and tried to run, but he had already come around the side and quickly ran after me. I pulled out my phone and hit the speed dial as I ran.

"Emily?" Dean answered.

"Dean!" I yelled out of breath as I continued to run down the wooded dirt road that led us to the lake. I turned and realized Luke was no longer directly behind me. I stopped, heaving for air.

"Emily?! What's going on?"

"Luke! He's possessed!" I cried as I spun in circles, looking for any sign of him.

"Where are you?"

"I don't know! Some lake, it wasn't far from the motel, maybe 20 minutes?!"

"Sam, we gotta move, now!" I heard him yell away from the phone.

"De… this is all my fault."

"Emily don't do that. Just. Stay low till I get there. Don't engage him."

"Dean I-" Without warning I was thrown against the ground, my phone skidding across the gravel and dirt road. Luke straddled me and held my wrists over my head.

"Though you could run from me baby?" He teased as he rubbed a large buck knife down the side of my face.

"Please. Don't do this… just let him go!"

"Oh I wouldn't worry about him if I were you."

"What do you want!"

"I want to please her… I want to show her my loyalty. She wants you. DEAD."

"Who?!"

"The new leader. If you thought yellow eyes was terrifying, just wait till the worlds meets her."

"Get off of me!" I bucked, he laughed as I squirmed. "You know I can kill you!"

"Oh but you won't… not while I'm wearing your boyfriend. Does he know? About you?"

Panic flashed across my face.

"About all those people you killed… what you can do."

"Stop it!"

"He's going to watch me paint your insides across this road."

"Don't do this! I will fucking kill you!" I said as I pulled to get away from him.

"Ha. Let's test this theory." He said as he stood and dragged me up from the ground, slamming me into a nearby tree. "Come on darling, show me what you got."

I darted to run, but he cut me off and sent a right hook into my jaw, knocking my head against the tree.

"Not good enough! C'mon! Get angry!" He yelled as he punched me again, and again.

"STOP!" I screamed. Holding myself back… I can't hurt him! I can't hurt Luke.

"Show me what you got you little bitch." He growled as he sliced into my arm with the knife.

"Ahh!" I screamed out in pain. "STOP!" I flung my arm away and when I did he flew backwards, dropping the knife. I ran forward and kicked it out of his reach form where he laid on the ground.

"Well, I think you're going to have to try a little harder than that." He said as he stood again. I held my ground.

"Get out of him."

"Or what?" He challenged.

I lifted my hand and watched as he fell to the ground writhing in pain. I twisted it as the familiar feeling flowed through my body, moving towards my hands. The power… I watched as he screamed out again and again.

"Get out of him!" I yelled.

"Stop! Please… stop! Emily!" Luke begged. His ocean blue eyes were filled with fear. I stopped immediately, getting down on the ground to cradle his face.

"Luke? Baby… I'm so sorry." I cried.

"Why are you doing this to me?"

"I'm so sorry." I sobbed. "I'm so sorry… I didn't mean to!"

His eyes flickered black again and he quickly pinned me underneath him again.

"You know you want this." He said as he ran his hands across my body. "I know Luke wants this…"

"No!" I said feeling terror rip through me. I fought and struggled, he hit me again and my face fell against the dirt, tears smearing the blood.

"Just don't hurt him" I whispered. Surrendering. Refusing to fight. Refusing to hurt him anymore.

"Fine. They didn't say I couldn't have my fun before I killed you." He sneered as he ripped my shirt. I closed my eyes and cried. Hoping he'd do it quickly, I forced myself not to look at him as his hands felt my bare waist, this isn't Luke… I can't watch him. In Luke's body.

I forced myself to drift away. To not be present for this. I didn't know where I wanted to pretend I was, but anywhere but here would work.

Suddenly I was being lifted into the air, I opened my eyes and focused.

"Dean." I whispered. I looked around, Judson was holding Luke down, Sam was reciting an exorcism and Dean was carrying me back to the car.

"Don't hurt him! Please! Don't hurt him…" I cried, trying to get out of Dean's arms.

"Em its okay, he's gonna be okay."

"Judson! Judson please…" I yelled. "Don't hurt him."

My vision faded in and out, I was barely able to watch as black smoke poured from Luke's mouth. Judson moved closer and closer towards me. But everything went black before I could speak.

There was ringing in my ears. It was constant, giving me a headache. There were other noises slowly coming into range. At first I didn't recognize them… but eventually I did. They were voices.

"Luke… Luke…" I called as I opened my eyes and tried to sit up from the back seat of the impala.

"Em, sweetheart, he's okay." Sam said as He turned around from the front seat, I noticed Judson was in the seat next to me. He had one of my hands linked into his, but when I looked down at them he let go. Dean was driving and didn't say a word.

"Where is he?" I mumbled weakly, trying to fully regain my consciousness.

"In his truck, following us back, he's right behind us kiddo. I promise."

"Did I hurt him?"

"No, He's okay… I promise. He's got a few bumps and bruises, he came out of this better than you did."

I nodded and forced myself to sit up straight. Taking deep breaths, leaning my head back against the seat. I felt someone's hand graze my arm. I opened my eyes and fell into green eyes.

"Are you okay?"

"No." I whispered. Judson lifted his arm and I scooted closer to him, letting him hold me as we drove back to the motel. Once back I quickly separated us and watched Luke pull his truck in. I stood… waiting for him to get out.

He finally did. He looked rough. His gray tshirt was stained with blood and dirt. Most likely my blood.

"Emily, I think. I think we need to talk."

His hoarse voice cut into me like a knife… I wasn't going to be the one saying goodbye this time.

"Could you guys excuse us for a minute?" I asked. Sam and Dean nodded. Judson looked between Luke and I. "Judson. Its fine. Just… go inside."

Once we were alone I threw my arms around Luke's neck, but he didn't reciprocate it.

"Was that demon right? About you?"

"What?" I asked confused.

"Did you kill people?"

I stood there stunned. The look in his eyes… it was something I'd never seen before.

"Luke I.. you don't understand."

"Are you human?" He asked shakily.

"Yes! I swear… Luke please, I can explain."

"Explain how you put me through the worst pain I've ever felt in my life and you didn't even have to touch me to do it? I mean. I'm not trying to sound harsh here but I'm a little freaked out. First a fucking demon invades my body… takes over. Then. You… you. You did things. Your eyes. They were red."

I crossed my arms and held myself together as word after word fell out of his mouth like knives plunging into my heart. There was no fixing this…

"I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you."

"You know what really bothers me. More than any of that?"

I shook my head instead of answering.

"You weren't going to stop me Emily! You were going to let him do those things and you didn't even try to stop him! Do you know what he wanted to do?! Cause I do… I saw it all play out in my head like it was his! He-"

Luke cut himself off and shook his head.

"We can't do this anymore."

"I know." I whispered.

"I will not be the weakness that gets you killed… or worse."

"I'm sorry. I just. I didn't want to hurt you Luke." I pleaded with him, reaching out for his hand, but he quickly pulled it away.

"Emily I love you… but don't come back."

"Luk-"

He leaned in and kissed me… it was desperate. It was needy and hard, but then it ended. He looked at me one more time before he got back in his truck and drove away.

I stood and watched until he was out of sight. I gathered what little bit of myself that I could and walked back inside. Dean was shoving things angrily into a bag. Slamming our stuff. I flinched as I closed the door and he threw the bag onto the ground at my feet.

"Dean." Sam warned.

"You happy now?" Dean asked turning to face me. "Satisfied? Did what you came to do…"

"Dean. Stop it." Sam yelled. I stood there, staring at the ground.

"You could have died… AGAIN!"

"I wish I had died the first time." I whispered. More to myself than anyone else really. But Dean heard it.

"What did you just say?" Dean asked in that dangerously calm tone he uses on rare occasion.

"I wish… you had just let me die the first time."

"Shut up!" He yelled.

"No! If you hadn't brought me back then maybe the demon wouldn't have taken us! Sam wouldn't have died! You wouldn't have made a deal! NOTHING has gone right since the day you brought me back! You should have just let me die Dean!"

He threw something and it shattered next to my head on the wall. I flinched but held my ground.

"Dean! Knock it off!" Sam yelled stepping between us. Judson watched, looking ready to pounce in any direction at any given moment. Watching the scene unfold in front of him.

"I couldn't live knowing I let you die!" Dean yelled, his face red.

Sam's phone began to rang and he stepped away form between us, but when he did Judson took his place, holding my arm.

"Well I don't know how to live knowing I let you die! What am I supposed to do Dean!"

"You're gonna tough it out! You're gonna go on with life! Buck up!"

"Dean." Sam said trying to interrupt us.

"Fuck you!" I cried stepping towards Dean, but Judson pulled me back again.

"Dean!" Sam yelled.

"WHAT?" Dean and I both yelled in unison, looking over to Sam.

"That was the hospital… Its Bobby."