Author's Note: Okay guys, this chapter is a request form ImBookObsessed. I hope I did it justice, and that you guys enjoy it! We'll be getting back on track with the episodes for the next chapter but we're going to skip either "Long Distance Call" or "Time Is On My Side" … I'll let you guys choose, just leave me a review or a message and let me know which one you'd rather see! Love you guys thank you so much for your continued support and love! OH! And can we pleeeeease talk about that season 11 finale?! "Holy. Fucking. Shit." … those were the words straight out of my mouth. Ah! Next season is gonna be interesting for sure! For now I'll try to spend hellatus writing and keeping you guys entertained! Love you all, please review and let me know what you think!
"You know you're being a real asshole tonight." I said as I stomped into the room, Judson slammed the door behind me.
"And your being a whiny little bitch like always."
"Fuck you!"
"You already tried that, I turned you down. Remember?"
"I don't know what the hell crawled up your ass but do me a favor, go to your own damn room and pull it out!"
"God do you ever quit running your mouth?!"
"No. I don't." I smiled.
"Well you should."
"Are you gonna make me?" I said crossing my arms.
He stepped forward and shoved me against the wall, holding my face in place by my cheeks roughly.
"I just might." He growled.
I reared back and slapped him, he laughed and then returned a slap of his own. It was hard enough to knock me to the ground. I held my cheek in shock as I turned and looked up to him.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" I whispered feeling as if the air had been pulled from my lungs."
"I'm so fucking sick and tired of all your bullshit!" He yelled towering over me. "Every day it's the same ole woe is me, clingy, horny teenage bullshit. Are you every going to grow up?! Do you realize the world doesn't actually revolve around you?"
"…This isn't you." I said shaking my head. He yanked me up and pushed me against the wall again.
"What? Don't want me anymore?" He teased as he pushed his pelvis against mine.
"Get off of me!" I said shoving him, but he grabbed me by the wrists and pinned them behind me. I reared back and spit in his face. He closed his eyes, and when they opened again there was nothing but hate in them. He released my wrists and grabbed me by the hair, dragging me to the bed.
"No! Please… Judson! I know you're in there somewhere!" I begged as he dragged me across the floor.
"Shut the fuck up!"
"Don't do this Judson please!"
48 hours earlier
I laid there and tossed and turned in the bed… I just. Couldn't sleep. Not in Sam's bed. Not in Dean's bed… I just. Couldn't sleep. So I got up…
I wrote the boys a note that I was stepping next door… then I quietly tip toed my bare feet outside and stopped at the door to the left of ours, knocking on it lightly a few times. I waited in the dark, shivering with my feet on the cold concrete.
Finally I heard the locks click and the door opened.
"Em what are you doing out here? Its one in the morning?" Judson said barely awake.
"I can't sleep." I whispered sheepishly, chewing on my thumb.
He sighed and opened the door further, letting me step in.
"Where are your shoes?"
"Back in the motel room."
"Emily its freezing out there, what if I didn't answer?"
"You answered didn't you?" I said raising an eyebrow. He rolled his eyes at me.
"Sam and Dean are gonna be pissed if they wake up and you're here."
"I left them a note saying I stepped out for a run, and that I was gonna wake you up to go with me."
"Oh please don't make me run." He groaned as he lay back on the bed.
"Judson… I left my shoes. Do you really think I planned on going for a run?"
He slowly lifted his head and smiled at me. I giggled and walked over to his bed. Climbing in next to him. He pulled the covers up over us and we laid facing each other.
"Think you'll be able to sleep in here?" Judson asked me softly as he pushed a stray hair behind my ear.
"I don't know… but if I can't I'd much rather be in here than in there listening to my brothers snoring."
"Fair enough." He smiled. "What's got you wide awake?"
"I don't wanna watch him die again." I whispered.
"Emily we talked about this hun, you can't deprive yourself of sleep. It'll make things worse."
"I know, I just… not tonight, okay? Just not tonight."
"Okay. What do you wanna do?"
"Anything." I said tossing him a wink. He rolled his eyes at me playfully.
"You're such a horny teenager."
"Yeah well you're a horny…. Not. Teenager." I mumbled awkwardly. "How old are you anyways?!"
"You've never asked me that before. Does it matter now?"
"Well now I'm curious."
"I'm 21, happy now?"
"Well, I do have a thing for older men."
"Shut up." He joked as he pulled me closer to him. He put his leg over mine and I pushed myself as close to him as I could, our noses practically touching. I traced my hand over his hip, back and forth, on the edge of his shorts. His eyes were closed but I knew he was awake, and I could tell he was enjoying it.
"Emily." He whispered.
"Yeah?"
"What are you doing?"
Instead of answering him I let my finger trail and dip a little further, tracing it down across his stomach before going back up to his hip. His hand went under my shirt and rubbed up and down my back, sending tingles from the top of my spine to the soles of my feet.
I tipped my chin forward, just enough to let our lips slide against each other, it was him that pulled against my bottom lip with his teeth. I took this opportunity to make my move and pull myself on top of him, laying him flat on his back. He deepened the kiss, but then he pulled back.
"Em we can't do this."
Rejection stung me. I sat up, straddling him and leaning my back against his raised knees. I fiddled with the hem line of his shirt, not able to stand looking him in the eye at the moment.
"It doesn't mean what you think it means, Em. Don't avoid me like that."
"Well then what does it mean?" I said still not able to look him in the eye, he sighed and then pulled at my hands, holding them still so that he could flip us, leaving me laying on my back and him hovering over me.
"It means that I don't want to hurt you… and this is a one way ticket to trouble."
Don't want to hurt me? Meaning what… that you're not into me like I'm into you but you just didn't want to tell me that and hurt me? Meaning you just led me on, let me believe there was a chance… well. I'm so glad you didn't hurt me.
"Yeah, sure." I smiled half-ass and went back to playing with his shirt. Pulling my eyes away from his as quickly as possible.
"Don't shut down on me Emily… not now."
"I'm not." I shrugged nonchalantly. Okay… maybe that was a little too obvious.
"Then stop avoiding eye contact with me."
I sighed and finally met eyes with him.
"Happy now?"
"No… because you look like I just stomped on your feelings, and that's not what this was."
I sighed and rolled my eyes, turning over and laying on my side.
"Maybe we should try and get some sleep." I mumbled.
"See. THAT… right there. That is you shutting down instead of talking to me. Dammit Emily… every time I think I've finally got you to open up to me you pull this. Why? Why can't you tell me exactly how you feel right now?"
"Because I don't want to."
"Because you don't want to or because you don't want to be vulnerable with me? Did you ever think that maybe you and Luke were so into each other not because of the sex but because you were open to him? Because you didn't hold back when you were with him?"
I avoided answering him. So he pulled me to lay flat on my back again. Forcing me to look up at him.
"Tell me what you're thinking."
"Why?" I whispered.
"Because it drives me crazy not knowing what's going on in that pretty little head of yours." He said as he ran his fingers through my hair. I rolled my eyes at him. I felt extremely uncomfortable, and a little embarrassed… but I knew he wasn't going to let this one go.
"If you didn't like me the way that I like you… then why am I in your bed right now. Why not cock block me way before it got to this."
He shook his head and laughed. I immediately felt way more embarrassed then I did before spitting the words out of my mouth. I quickly pulled away from under him and went to leave but he jumped up and caught my hand.
"Em stop, wait…"
"So you can laugh at me some more? I'm embarrassed enough thanks. I think I'll just go back to not sleeping next door."
"Emily… if you thought for a second I didn't like you, then you're blind."
I stopped and turned back around to face him.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I sighed.
"It means I care about you… so much tha-"
"Care about me like a brother? I have two of those, but thanks anyways."
"Stop interrupting and listen to me!" He said grabbing me around my waist and pulling me onto the bed with him. "It means. I care about you. I DO like you… I like all of this just as much as you do. But things in your life right now are ten different kinds of fucked up, I want to help you Em. I wanna be the person that's there for you… but you have to let me be that person. Which also means letting me be the voice of reason sometimes. This… It's not that I don't want to do it, I'm not turning you down. I'm not saying I don't find you attractive or that I don't like the way it feels when you touch me. I'm saying it's not the right time."
I nodded my head slowly. Letting his words sink in… trying to process them in my head.
"Are you still embarrassed?" He asked me.
"No." I mumbled. "I just wanna lay down."
He held me and laid us both back down, kissing me softly as our bodies melted onto each other. I tried to tell myself that I wasn't rejected, but it still stung somewhere deep, where reasoning didn't matter.
"I'm sorry." He whispered in my ear.
"For what?"
"For making you feel embarrassed."
"Its fine."
He leaned his head down and pressed his lips against mine. I reached up and tangled my hand into his hair, holding him steady as my tongue danced with his. This time it was me who pulled back, knowing if I didn't do it now I wouldn't be able to soon.
"You sure you're okay with us taking this case, Em?"
"We can't avoid cases just because witches are involved." I shrugged.
"I know, but you've got a lot going on and we don't need a repeat of last time either."
"You know it'd be really nice if you could just forget about that whole hallucinations thing, cause I'm trying really hard to do so and I can't when you bring it up."
"…What did she do to you?"
"Why do you ask me things like that?"
"Because I want to understand, and I know somehow it ties into your panic attacks and the whole dead bodies thing."
"It doesn't just tie into it all… it started it all."
"Do your brothers know?"
"Yeah, it was basically the start of this whole Dean and I against the world thing… what he did for me in the weeks that followed. I can't. I can't even imagine what would have happened to me if I didn't have Dean there. I wouldn't let him or Dad touch me for days, but he was really patient with me, he did everything I couldn't even ask him to do. I couldn't speak… it took a lot for me to bounce back, and I owe all of that to Dean."
"What about Sam?"
"Sam wasn't there… I only told him right after Dean made the deal. And I probably wouldn't have but Dean insisted on it."
"Why not?"
"I was too afraid to talk about it…"
"Is that why you won't tell me now?"
I nodded my head. Judson pulled me in a little tighter and laid his cheek against mine.
"You don't have to tell me, sweetheart."
"Thank you."
I snuggled against him and closed my eyes, hoping the nightmares wouldn't find me here.
….
(Dean's POV)
"Dude, where the hell is Em?"
I turned to Sam who was sitting at the table sipping coffee and he lifted a piece of paper in the air, I climbed out of bed and grabbed it from him, it was a note from Emily saying she went on a run with Judson.
"Well. How long has she been gone?"
"Don't know. She was gone when I got up." Sam shrugged.
"Great. They're probably running around screwing in the woods somewhere."
"Dean. Could you not please." Sam said getting a disgusted look on his face.
"I'm gonna get dressed and go look for them."
"Dude. You are totally overreacting."
I began to dig through our bags for some clean socks, when I reached the bottom I pulled out a pair of black tennis shoes. Size 8.
"Dammit Sam!"
"What?"
I turned to him and lifted the shoes up in the air.
"I thought you were supposed to be the smart one around here?" I rubbed in his face.
"So where the hell are they?"
"Give you one guess." I said as I marched out the door, Sam on my heels and picked the lock on the door to the left of us. I threw it open prepared to rip some lungs out.
"Emi-"
I stopped when I found Emily sleeping peacefully in a bed… by herself.
"Dude. Its called knocking." Judson said as he stood from the chair in the corner of the room.
"What the hell is going on in here?" I demanded. Taking a double look to make sure they were both fully clothed.
"She was afraid of having another nightmare and didn't want to sleep, she came over to talk for a while, she fell asleep and I slept in the chair, did you really think we'd be screwing with you next door?"
"You better not be screwing anywhere!"
Judson rolled his eyes and Sam patted me on the shoulder.
"Dean c'mon. Let her sleep in. Its good for her."
"Don't get naked in this room while she's in here." I said pointing a finger at Judson.
"You know you used to like me." Judson smirked, Sam chuckle behind me.
"That was before she started to like you." I said turning and walking out the door.
"Dean you know he's right. You were pro Judson up until a couple weeks ago. I mean nothing's really changed so what's your deal?" Sam asked me.
"Nothings changed? You haven't noticed those two? Trust me. Things have changed between them."
"I think you're overreacting Dean."
"And I think you're blind, Sammy."
"Okay so even if things have changed with them maybe it's a good thing, maybe this is what she needs right now, something to distract her from all the shit going on. Something to keep her mind preoccupied."
"Sam you don't understand. What if things go bad? Then she has to get her heart broken AND deal with my shit? Dude, I'm not sure how much more she can take but I know that this… This is not good!"
"Whatever Dean." Sam said rolling his eyes and going back to our room.
Maybe he's right… but then again maybe I'm right.
…..
(Emily's POV)
"Emily, you and I will take the front, Sam and Judson go around the back. She's in the basement and there's only one door to get out, so once we get down there someone needs to stand there and be guard in case she tries to make a run for it."
"I'll do it." Judson stepped up.
"Alright, everyone locked and loaded?" Dean asked.
We nodded.
"Em, you sure you're good with this?"
"I'm good De, promise." I smiled encouragingly. Dean reached up and held my face, kissing the top of my head. Then we split and made our move.
Dean and I made our way to the front door, which was conveniently unlocked by the way, and then made our first pass through the entry way and living room, Sam and Judson met us in the kitchen after clearing the back room.
"De. This way." I whispered as I spotted a door in the kitchen that had a spot for a padlock.
"I'll stay up here, you three go kick some ass." Judson said before we slowly pushed the door open. Dean went first, then me and Sam following. Judson quickly shut the door behind us, locking us downstairs with the witch.
Candle light flickered as we made our way down the steps, it led to an open area, one filled with candles, old books, jars of God knows what and a large wood burning stove in the center.
But no witch…
"Where the hell is?" I said turning to Sam.
"I don't know, she was down here before we entered the house. We watched her go through the door and we came in right afterwards."
"She's still here. Stay sharp." Dean warned as he motioned for us to fan out and find her. There are lots of boxes and old dusty furniture down here.
"Yikes. Someone should call a maid." I said as I ran my hand along an old dresser with a thick layer of dust on the top. I turned to look at Sam but met purplish-gray eyes.
"DEAN!" I yelled.
The moment I spoke up the witch shoved the dresser on top of me and tried to make a break for it, from the floor I pushed the dresser off to the side and stood, limping on my probably sprained and definitely bruised ankle.
Sam and Dean were both struggling to keep a grip on the witch as she moved from place to place in the blink of an eye.
"Sam! Grab her!" Dean yelled as he was thrown to the ground, the witch ran in Sam's direction, but somehow one moment she was behind him and the next in front of him. Sam jumped and tried to run for her but she already started to race up the stairs.
"Judson! Look out!" I yelled as I limped towards Sam, Dean running past us to chase her up the steps.
There were gun shots and the sounds of wood breaking. Then silence.
"Oh no… Judson!"
Once I pulled Sam up he helped me up the stairs where I found Dean standing over a dead witch and an unconscious Judson laying on the floor next to her.
"Is he okay?!"
I got down on the floor and placed Judson's head in my lap. Making sure he still had a pulse.
"Yeah she just knocked him out cold, he'll wake up in a few minutes." Dean said out of breath, He and Sam leaned against the wall as I lightly tapped Judson's cheeks.
"Hey… hey wake up. C'mon wake up."
Slowly his eyes began to twitch and then he was pulling away from me.
"Get off me." He groaned. I finally quit tapping his face and pulled myself up off the floor as he sat up. "What the hell just happened?"
"Well, this old broad took down you AND the door so I killed her." Dean smiled.
"Are you okay?" I asked him. He just shot me an irritated look and didn't answer,then he stood and made his way back towards the impala.
Fine… asshole.
"Em, how bad is your ankle?" Sam asked.
"It's swelling. Probably a sprain."
"Let's go get some ice on that thing." He said as he helped me to the impala.
"Yeah yeah, sure. I'll take care of the body! Thanks for your help." Dean called out to us sarcastically. Sam and I chuckled.
"We'll get the car warmed up De." I smiled back to him. He just waved us off.
"Alright Em, lets check this thing out." Sam said as he sat me in the backseat sideways, rolling up my pants leg. I turned and looked at Judson behind me, he had his eyes closed, his head tipped back, and his hand against his forehead.
"You sure you're okay?" I asked him grabbing his hand discreetly. He quickly yanked it away…
Ouch. What the hell did I do?
"Definitely a sprain kiddo. We'll ice it tonight and see how the swelling looks in the morning. Hopefully you didn't tear anything. Can you put weight on it?"
"Yeah, just hurts a little when I do."
"Okay, well that's a good sign."
"Thanks Sammy." I said as I turned in the car to sit the right way, trying not to make it obvious as I threw sideways glances at Judson… who still had his eyes closed.
Dean took his sweet time getting back to the car and when he did he slammed on the gas and got us the hell out of dodge. The whole ride back was awkward… like this unspoken tension filled the air in the backseat. Dean and Sam carried on conversation and didn't even notice, but I couldn't ignore it if I tried to.
Thankfully we finally made it back to the motel and Judson was the first one out of the car, but we weren't far behind.
"You guys have a good night." Judson said with a brief smile as he waved, then he quickly entered his room and shut the door, you could loudly hear him click the locks.
"What the hell was that all about?" Dean asked looking between me and Judson's door.
"I don't know. Lets just go inside." I said feel even more confused.
Sam threw his arm over my shoulder to help me limp inside.
"You guys have a fight or something?" He whispered to me.
"I didn't think so?"
"Maybe tomorrow will be better."
"Yeah. Maybe." I sighed as we got in and I got settled on the bed, Sam got me an ice pack and wrapped it around my ankle. Then he tossed me the remote and flopped onto the bed next to me.
We scanned channels until we came across some documentary on the history channel. Sam was totally into it, but I was more into my phone.
Emily: Hey, did I do something to piss you off?
Judson: No. Can you come over?
Emily: Yeah, give me a min.
Judson: If you don't want to then just say no.
What the fuck?
"Sam. I'm stepping next door… let Dean know when he gets out of the shower please."
"Okay, but don't be long. Or he'll come barging in. You know him."
"Yeah I do." I smiled. Sam chuckled and went back to his documentary. I took my ice pack and limped out the door and to the left. I knocked. No answer. I knocked a little harder.
"Judson come on… open up."
The door opened and Judson walked away from it, leaving me to come in and close it.
"I told you that you didn't have to come over if you didn't want to."
I was taken back by his attitude.
"I want to… I was kinda worried about you to be honest."
"Here, come sit down." He said as he patted the bed next to him. Seeming more like the concerned Judson I usually see. I went to sit beside him, he motioned for me to place my ankle up and took the ice pack from my hand.
"Does this hurt?" He asked as he slowly rolled it in a circle. Watching me carefully as my face flinched a little.
"Not bad. I'll live." I smiled.
"What was up with the cold shoulder back at the witches place, did I do something?"
"No Em. I'm sorry… I just. Have a headache. And it's making me cranky as hell."
"You probably have a concussion. You were out cold back there." I said as I reached up and ran my fingers through his dark hair.
"Yeah. Something." He sighed and laid his head against my hand.
"Are you sure you're gonna be okay? Can I get you something"
"No hun I'll be fine, I'm gonna get some sleep. I'll see you tomorrow."
He stood and reached out his hand, pulling me to stand carefully. He handed me the ice pack, and I took it slowly, leaving my hand resting with his for as long as possible.
"Get some sleep Em, you need it too. Nightmares or not."
"Okay. You call if you need anything." I reached up and kissed his cheek, he pulled me into a hug.
Something was different.
Something was off.
Something isn't right with him… but I can't put my finger on it. I held onto him for as long as I could, but when he pulled away I didn't resist. Instead I smiled briefly and left the room.
"Well that was fast." Sam said as I walked back into our own room.
"Yeah." I nodded.
"What's wrong kiddo?" Dean asked coming to sit across from me on the bed.
"Nothing, I'm just sleepy." I mumbled scooting towards him. I laid my head down on his lap, he began to pull his fingers through my hair like he used to when I was little
"You sure… you and him good?"
"Yeah we're good. I think he's just cranky cause he wacked his head. I'm just not used to him being like that."
"Well everyone has bad days kiddo. Lets go to bed, it'll be better tomorrow."
"That's what everyone keeps saying." I mumbled as Dean and I laid down.
I wrapped both of my arms around one of Deans… trying to find peace of mind to sleep. But not really sure if that even exists anymore.
….
"Seriously? We have to go back?" I said sitting across the table from Sam.
"Yeah, whenever we killed her it didn't fix the victims. There's gotta be something in her spell book that can help them."
"Sam we just killed her, give it a day or so."
"Emily these people are suffering, we can't just leave town and hope it fixes itself."
"Fine. So what do we need to do?"
"Get back into the house." Dean sighed.
"Oh, the house swarmed by police this morning? That'll be easy." I snapped.
"Emily, chill out. Okay, Sam and I will go and get into the house… you and Judson need to see if you can find a link between the vics, it may help us narrow down what kind of spell was used."
"Okay. I'll go next door and wake him up."
"He's still sleeping? Isn't he usually the first one up out of all of us."
"Yeah, you guys take off before the news channels start showing up."
"We'll meet you back here in a few hours."
I dressed and pulled up my hair in a messy bun. Sam insisted I wrap my ankle before going anywhere so I did, then I tucked my jeans over it and walked next door. Knocking on the door.
"Hey." He said as he swung the door open, letting me come in.
"Oh, you're up… I thought maybe you were still asleep."
"Why?" He asked irritably.
"Well I texted to check on you this morning but you didn't reply."
"Maybe I just didn't want to reply."
Um…. Okay? Lets pretend that wasn't rude.
"So… Sam and Dean took off to the house, something about finding a spell book. They want us to try and find a link between the vics."
"They're all in the same book club."
"What?"
"I said… they're all in the same book club. That's how they all knew each other."
"When did you find that out?"
"Days ago when we first found the case."
"And you didn't feel like sharing that with the group?"
"Do you really think that you have a right to bitch at me of not sharing information? I mean you of all people?"
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I asked crossing my arms.
"You're by far the most closed off person I've ever met. But you can ride my ass about not sharing things?"
I just kinda stood there shell shocked. Where the hell is this coming from?
"I'm sorry… are you still not feeling well from last night or something?"
"I feel fine. I'm just making a point."
"Fine. Point taken." I said making my way back to the door.
"Wait… I'm sorry." Judson called after me. "Wanna go get some food?"
"Sure." I said softly. Still not sure what was with the backlash today.
"Are you okay to walk? The diner is just up the road."
"Yes. Its fine, Sam made me wrap it this morning."
"Good. How'd you sleep last night?"
"Same as always" I sighed as we stepped out the door.
"More nightmares?"
"The same nightmares. You know… I'm kinda getting used to them."
Okay that was a lie.
"You're lying."
"Maybe."
"You hungry?" He asked me as we walked down the road.
"Starving, kinda in the mood for waffles."
"I don't understand your ability to eat breakfast foods for every single meal. It's almost noon, this place will have the entire menu open and you still stick to breakfast. Do you ever get tired of it?"
I laughed.
"I guess it's because breakfast food is the best food these diners make. And that's pretty much all we ever eat at is diner food so I just try and stick to what's good. Other than burgers, they usually have good burgers."
"Fair enough."
"If you had to pick one thing to eat every day what would you pick?"
"I don't know. I get sick of things after a while. I have to mix it up."
"C'mon there's gotta be one thing you'd pick."
"I don't know Emily, I just told you." He snapped.
"Geez… sorry." I said quickly. "I don't care what you eat if it gets you out of this cranky ass mood."
"Said the queen of bitchy moods."
What the fuck?! Where did that come from?
"Did I do something to you?!" I asked stepping in front of him. "Something I missed? Cause you've been an ass to me ever since you came to last night!"
"No. I just. Wish you would back off for like 5 minutes."
"You got it." I scoffed and walked off back towards the motel. I was kind of surprise when he didn't try and stop me. He just kept walking in the opposite direction as me.
I got out of his eyesight before I stopped… my ankle was beginning to throb. I pulled out my phone as I sat on the edge of the road.
"Hey De."
"Hey kiddo what's up?"
"Can you come get me? Please."
"Where are you?"
"Bout a half a mile or so from the motel."
"Okay, we're heading there now. Is it you and Judson?"
"No… just me."
"What did he ditch you there or something?"
I didn't really know how to answer the question seeing as how I wasn't really sure what just happened. I just knew I wanted to be back with my brothers.
"No. Just hurry Dean, please."
"Two minutes kiddo, promise."
I hung up the phone and sighed.
I keep playing over and over in my head our conversations form yesterday. From the night before… I don't understand what changed? Is he on his damn man period?
Did I do something?
I stood as I heard my favorite sound in the world off in the distance… nothing will ever mean home to me the way this car does. Dean pulled the impala right up next to me and Sam stepped out, I slid in the front seat and settled between my brothers.
"What's going on Em?" Sam asked.
"Nothing. I just. I wanted to go with you two." I said as I curled up next to Dean. I briefly caught it as he and Sam shared a concerned look.
"Stop doing that. I'm fine. I just… I want to be with you right now."
"Okay kiddo. You got it." Dean said as he started driving us forward.
"So did you guys get the book?"
Sam lifted an old worn leather book in the air slightly.
"Did you guys find the link?" Sam asked.
"Yeah uh, book club… all the wives were in book club together."
"So how did book club piss off the witch?"
"Maybe they didn't let her join or something… you know how bitchy women can be." I mumbled. Still feeling a little offended.
"Maybe they were dibbling in the arts themselves… like the last book club." Dean suggested.
"Doubt it." Sam cut in. "They were the ones put under the spell… they viciously attacked people against their own will. I mean if they were into the dark arts why would they do that to each other? Why not find the antidote themselves? It's not like they were possessed. They were just extremely angry. I've never seen a spell do something like that."
"So what do we do then?"
"Go back and see if we can find the spell, see if there's a way to undo it."
"I feel a fun filled afternoon of research coming." I smiled sarcastically.
…
We spent the next few hours digging around at the library, where Judson ended up meeting us. I've successfully avoided him up to this point, but there's no Sam or Dean in sight and he is currently walking towards me.
"This seat taken?"
I didn't answer.
"Emily… don't blow me off. You know its get on my fucking nerves."
"Oh I'm sorry… I was just trying to back off some. I don't want to ask you too many questions."
He sighed and sat down next to me.
"Sometimes you're so stubborn its honestly unbelievable."
"And sometimes you're such an ass its unbearable."
"Are you done bitching at me yet?"
"Are you done being an ass to me."
"I really don't think I'm the one being the problem here." He said raising his voice a little.
"Keep your voice down!" I whisper yelled.
"OR WHAT?" He said loudly, staring at me expectantly… asking me to fight back.
I stood up and shook my head at him before walking away to find Dean or Sam. Whichever I ran into first would do. Luckily it was Dean. I plopped down next to him at the computers and let out a huff.
"… Okay?"
"Why does having a dick mean you need to act like one?"
"Excuse me?!"
"Not you Dean!...Well sometimes you." He shot me the bitchfce. "I mean do men get their period to and I just missed that section in biology class?"
"Sorry kiddo… Sam and I agreed to stay out of it. Whatever yall are fighting about is between the two of you."
"…Dean. Am I just being sensitive here or what? I mean did I do something to deserve this and I'm just not seeing it?"
"I don't know Em… I don't know what's been going on with you two. I'm not with you 24/7. I wasn't with you in his room the other night. Did something happen?"
Well you see I tried to have sex with him and he turned me down.
"Nope."
"I don't know kiddo. All I can say is sometimes, and its not your fault, its just because you're a woman. And all women do it… trust me. But sometimes you take things personally when they aren't meant to be personal."
I sat and thought about Dean's words… trying to figure out if this really was just me being sensitive… or if he's really just being a dick.
"Hey." Sam said walking over and pulling me out of my thoughts. "They're closing up for the night, wanna go grab some food?"
"Oh I'm down." Dean said excitedly as he hopped up. I dragged my feet and followed behind them, Judson was already waiting for us at the front door.
We climbed in the backseat and I accidentally rubbed my knee against his, I quickly pulled it back. I was surprised when his hand reached out and rubbed across the top of my knee. I looked up at him, and even though he wasn't looking back at me I could tell he was trying to be nice.
Once at the diner he held the door for me, I mumbled a thank you but that was the extent of our conversation up to this point.
I scanned over the menu a few times… trying to settle on some food.
"You guys ready or do you need another minute?" She asked cheerily.
"Uh just another minute please." I smiled, she nodded and walked away.
"You only ever get one of three things… breakfast. Chicken strips. Or a burger… its not that difficult. Just pick one." Judson snapped.
I looked at Dean and Sam who were actively staying out of this, and then back at Judson.
"I'm sorry. If you can't stand to wait another three minutes then feel free to chase her down and order your food. I won't be offended if you get yours first."
He sat back and rolled his eyes. Tapping his hand on the table irritably.
"That's getting really annoying." I mumbled.
"You're getting really annoying."
"Oh my god… you know what. Forget it. I'm not even hungry. Just order your fucking food so we can eat and leave."
"Are you kidding me right now?"
"No! I'm not… my appetite magically decided to fuck off."
Which is kinda what I wanna tell you to do at the moment.
"You're unbelievable… " He scoffed.
"And you're a dick."
"Okay! You know what… why don't you two take the car back to the motel. Sam and I are actually going to eat and we'll just walk back. Its not far." Dean smiled setting the keys down on the table.
I huffed and reached for them, but Judson did too at the same time. We struggled over them for a minute before he won.
"Don't wreck it." I snapped as we got up from the table and began to walk out. Once at the car Judson unlocked his side and started the engine. I tapped the window motioning for him to unlock my side. But instead he put it in drive and lurched the car forward, then stopped it just as quickly.
"Really funny asshole!" I said banging on the window. He finally reached over and unlocked it.
"Shoulda let you walk back."
"Its MY brother's car. If anyone's walking it would be you."
"Yet he handed the keys to me, meaning he doesn't trust your driving. Which if its anything like your level of common sense I can't blame him."
I sent him a shocked and offended stare, he ignored it and continued driving down the road.
"You are something else…" I mumbled under my breath.
PRESENT TIME
"Don't do this Judson! Please!" I begged.
"I'm so sick and tired of your mouth." He said as he threw me on the bed. I crawled up towards the headboard and pulled my knees in against me in defense. He dug in his bag and came back with a roll of ductape.
"Judson stop, this isn't you! Okay.. it-its gotta be the witch! She must have hexed you! Just like the other victims!"
"SHUT UP!" he yelled as he grabbed my injured ankle and dragged me towards him, placing the ductape across my mouth. I fought against him, but his strength beat mine easily. He reached back and slapped me again.
"HEY!" I jumped as another voice entered the room. Dean! I attempted to call out to him but the ductape muffled everything I said, only causing me to cry in frustration. Dean and Sam entered the room carefully, shutting and locking the door behind him.
"Get your hands off of her." Dean said as he stepped forward. Sam stepped towards me but when he did Judson grabbed me up by my arm and pulled me off the bed, holding me against his chest.
"Don't take another step." Judson warned.
"Judson this isn't you… okay. I know what's going on here. This isn't your fault." Sam said calmly. "Just let her go, and we can help you… we found the spell, okay? We can reverse it."
"Nah, I like it better this way. I like the anger… the power."
"Let her go man, last warning." Dean growled.
"Who's gonna protect her when you're dead huh? We all know it's coming. Even her… that's why she keeps having the nightmares, because deep down she KNOWS its coming. You're gonna burn-"
Dean lunged forward and I pulled away and ducked for the floor, Sam quickly pulled me away and I watched as Judson and Dean struggled for a while before Dean finally knocked him out cold.
"Em let's get this off okay?" Sam said as he pulled the tape off my face.
"Emily are you okay?" Dean asked crouching in front of us.
"I'm fine. Really… is. Is he okay?"
"Well he'll be sleeping that one off for a while, but we did figure out the spell. So we can reverse it." Dean sighed. "It wasn't but maybe a minute after you left that we realized what was going on… I was worried we'd be too late."
"Well you weren't." I smiled sadly staring at an unconscious Judson in the floor.
"C'mon Em, lets get up." Sam said as he stood and pulled me with him.
"Let me see your face." Dean demanded.
"I said its fine Dean."
"No. its not. Its red and swelling more by the minute. Got put some ice on it."
"Okay… hey Dean."
"Yeah Em?"
"Do… do you think he meant it? All those things he said?"
"I don't know kiddo… but I do know anger makes people do strange things. Things they don't always mean."
"I'm gonna take a shower while you and Sam get him straightened out okay?"
"Yeah, good idea Em. Put some ice on that when you get out."
"Sir yes sir." I smiled weakly.
I paused as I walked past Judson who laid on the bed still unconscious.
Everything in me tried to find reason… he didn't mean it.
It was just the spell.
It was just the anger.
It just… wasn't him.
But the truth is I don't really know.
….
(Dean's POV)
"Hey. Em asleep?" Sam said as he stepped back into the room.
"Yeah." I said looking over towards the bed. "She's been out for a few hours now. How's the kid?"
"He hasn't said much since I reversed the spell… just painted some guilty look on his face."
"Well can you blame him?"
"No. I can't… and neither should you Dean."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"It means that I know how much you want to protect her, man I do… I'm right there with you. But I know more than anybody how horrible it is to hurt someone you care about against your will."
"He'll get over it." I said tipping back my beer.
"I think you should talk to him… if I had to guess I'd say he's next door beating himself up pretty hard right about now."
"Eh, maybe later."
"Dean." Sam said shooting me a knowing look. I rolled my eyes.
"Fine. Fine… I'll got talk to him." I sighed standing and finishing off my beer.
"Dean… don't chase him off."
"Yeah yeah yeah." I groaned walking out and stepping next door. I knocked twice, when the door opened I couldn't tell if the kid seemed disappointed or scared. Either way. Its fitting.
"Look man, if you're gonna punch me again can you do me a favor and get the other side. I just got the swelling down on this one." He said as he lifted an ice pack and opened the door for me to come in.
"Yeah, I know what you mean… Emily fell asleep with one of those pressed against her face."
I watched guilt punch him in the gut.
"Are you here to tell me to leave?" He asked. Gotta respect a man who gets straight to the point.
"No. I'm not."
"Are you here to beat me up again? Not that I'd stop you bu-"
"Why are you here?" I asked cutting him off.
"Because I can help her… because I care about her."
"Why?"
"What do you mean why?"
"I mean why do you care kid… what is it that keeps you following her around mile after mile. Putting up with our shit."
"She's different… she's special ya know." He said looking off out the window.
"Yeah. I know. I know her better than anyone in the world. She's something." I chuckled. "You know she's really going to need someone. In a few months."
"Man I'm sorry. I didn't mean any of that."
"Its okay. Even if you did I don't blame you… I'm a pretty hopeless case. Em though, she never gives up. She will fight till she physically can't stand on her own two feet, and even then she keeps going."
"Yeah I noticed."
"I'm gonna be upfront with you here and I expect you to do the same… you and I both know she cares for you. In more ways than one. Emily isn't like other girls. There is no half-assing it. She's all or nothing when it comes to her heart… When she gets attached to something she's not letting it go without a fight. So I'm asking you right here right now… if you don't plan on sticking around. Then leave. I'll give you the cash, I'll give you a ride. I'll give you whatever the hell you need. But if you can't invest into her the way she is going to invest into you then this is your chance to leave. No guilt. No hard feelings from Sam and I… this is your chance to get out before things get shitty. Because they're going to."
He sat and stared at me for a moment before looking down at the floor.
"I'm not going anywhere unless she tells me to… which she may do when she wakes up tomorrow. But. Until then, I'm here."
"You know… if things end ugly for me. Sam and her are gonna be pretty messy. Bobby will pick up the pieces as much as he can, but Em's gonna be a tough one. It'd be nice to know she'd have someone there for her."
"I won't leave her. I promise."
"I really don't think you understand what you're getting yourself into with this, you should take the night to think about it. I mean when our Dad died, Emily became a shell of herself… she did some pretty drastic things to find her way back. It's not pretty to watch."
"My little sister died in front of me…" He said quickly, taking a swig of his drink. I sat shocked, waiting for him to continue. "I couldn't save her. So when I say I know what this is like. When I say I understand how much she means to you. I'm not just saying it. I mean it man. I've been there and I have faced grief and the things that follow it. I've fought back against the darkest parts of myself. My promise stands. I'll take care of her."
"I'm sorry… I can't imagine."
"Yes you can. You did what you had to do to save Sam… I would have done the exact same thing to save Olivia. I would have done anything. Hell, I still would."
"Thanks for that man."
"So how is she?"
"She's sleeping actually… been that way for a couple of hours now. As far as the bumps and bruises she'll heal, and she's had worse."
I watched as guilt rolled around his face again.
"When she wakes up you should be there. She's worried about you."
He laughed.
"I attack her, and yet she's still worried about me."
"I told you man… all or nothing. Her heart knows no bounds."
"I never meant to hurt her."
"I know. And as much as it goes against every instinct in my body, I'm not going to kill you for it." I smiled as I stood.
"I wouldn't be mad if you did."
"I know, we'll see you in the morning kid. Get some sleep, she's okay."
"Yeah. Sure." He nodded. I turned and left the room, pausing outside to let myself get a grip on the conversation.
I'll never get used to the feeling of handing my little girl off to someone else… trust her to someone other than Sam or myself.
For this kid's sake I hope he's ready.
….
(Emily's POV)
"Emily we're leaving in ten minutes whether you're ready or not!" Dean said as he banged on the bathroom door.
I figure the longer I sit in the bathroom the longer I can put off the inevitable… The longer I can convince myself that everything he said was just because of the hex. Not because he actually fells that way. The longer I can put off finding out the truth.
You know people always talk about how the truth frees you… but sometimes it just lets you down.
"Em come on, you can't hide in there forever." Sam said through the crack in the door.
"I can try." I mumbled to myself.
I could hear the lock being picked and I huffed and rolled my eyes.
"Seriously Dean?!" I yelled as the door opened… but it wasn't Dean.
"… Are you just gonna stare at me?" Judson asked as he stepped in and closed the door behind him, leaning against it.
"Maybe." I said going back to brushing some powder onto my face in the mirror.
"Em I'm sorry… you know I never wanted to hurt you."
"I know." I said putting the brush back down.
"If you uh, want me to split for a while I can. See what kind of information I can dig up on Lilith or keep looking for a way to save Dean."
"You want to leave?" I asked finally looking up at him again.
"No. But I will if it's what you want."
"Don't leave me… please."
He pushed off of the door and came to stand in front of me. His hands wrapped around my waist, traveling down my hips to curve around my thighs. He lifted me to sit on the small sink counter and I instantly wrapped my arms around his neck. His lips molded against mine and I eagerly pulled at his hair.
We separated for air and he moved his mouth against my ear.
"I'm so sorry Em, I didn't mean any of it."
"I don't wanna talk about it." I said leaning in to kiss him again. He stopped me.
"Emily we have to, we can't just pretend none of that ever happened."
"Why not?"
"Because I know you, and I know you're thinking about it. And that won't stop until we clear the air on this."
I didn't answer him. Instead I wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. He held me back, pulling his fingers through my hair slowly. I just wanted to be here, to hold him… pretend it never happened.
"Emily. We have to." He whispered.
"Can we just do it tomorrow?"
"No. Because you'll just put it off again. Talk to me Em."
"I don't know what to say…"
"Do you think anything I said came from a place of truth?"
"I don't know Judson." I sighed letting him go and leaning back against the mirror. His hands rubbed up and down the top of my legs.
"Em tell me what's in your head right now. Please."
"I feel like… I'm annoying. And that I keep telling you things that you don't wanna hear and that you just keep listening to it all to be nice but you don't really give a shit. I feel stupid, and embarrassed, and like I have put too much of myself out there and I wish I could take some of I back and play it off and be cool but you and I both know I can't take back any of it…" I pulled my arms against my body, holding my shoulders. "I wish I hadn't tried to sleep with you. Because then you wouldn't have had to turn me down. And no matter what you say there's still a part of me that felt rejected. So I wish I could just take all of it back…. I'm sorry."
"Emily none of that is true, and I don't want you to take it back."
"I just really don't want to talk anymore, about anything" I said reaching up and wiping my eye before my mascara could smear.
"Em don't shut me out."
"I'm not Judson, I promise… I just. I don't wanna talk anymore. I just wanna get in the car with you, and Sam, and Dean and just drive. Please. That's all I want to do."
He stared at me inquisitively, as if trying to figure out if I was really shutting down on him or if I really just needed to get the hell out of here.
"Okay, lets go. They're waiting for us in the car."
I jumped down and bagged the last of my things, Judson took the bag from my put the other on my lower back, leading me outside.
"You guys ready to get the hell out of here?" Dean asked as we climbed into the backseat.
"Yep." I smiled briefly. "Where we headed De?"
"Well Sam and I agreed that we should go to Bobby's and pick up some leads on how to save my sorry ass. Take a break from cases for a few weeks. What do ya think?
"I think that's the best idea you've had in a long time."
"Yeah well if we don't find anything it sure as hell wouldn't be from lack of trying."
"We'll find something De, we have to."