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33. Unknown Home

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Point of no return... Tomorrow will start a new chapter of my life. Hopefully it will be a change for the better. The last one and a half years was not very pleasant, I was not granted any chance to improve myself at work. I felt stuck without many options and hopeless. But I'm not one that gives up so easily, that's why I searched for a way out of this impasse.

I'm really nervous right now, such an opportunity is always a two-edged sword.

Anyway, take care and stay safe,

SquaMata

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Darkness, darkness be my pillow

Take my hand and let me sleep

In the coolness of your shadow

In the silence of your deep

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Darkness, darkness hide my yearning

For the things I cannot see

Keep my mind from constant turning

To the things I cannot be

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Darkness, darkness be my blanket

Cover me with this endless night

Take away, oh, this pain of knowing

Fill this emptiness with light

Emptiness with light now

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Darkness, darkness long and lonesome

As the day that brings me here

I have found the edge of sadness

I have known the depths of fear

(Darkness, Darkness - Jesse Colin Young)

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Everything was black, she couldn't see a thing. Sakura felt blood seeping from her wound again, the searing pain took her breath away. She felt that someone was by her side, that someone pushed hard against her wound to stop the bleeding. She could feel herself drifting off from the agony as someone held her in warm comforting arms and carried her. She could feel that someone begged her not to die, even if she could not hear a voice. The person did not vanish, someone held her hand and never left her side. Someone loved her and she could feel her own love reflecting his.

Everything was still dark, but she could feel his presence, she could feel the heat of his embrace, she could feel his nearness as the need of feeling him rose rapidly. Eventually she could move closer, she could smell him, she could feel the texture of his smooth skin and build muscle twitching under her touch. Sakura moaned softly as she could feel his lips on hers, his passionate groan reverberating. Tongues danced together, fingers dug into soft skin, eliciting sweet moans from each other. She could feel his longing, she could feel her very own longing and she even fantasized about their bodies colliding in sweet frantic need.

Hands clinging, hair tugging, crashing lips as two human bodies became one in pure white bliss. She could feel every inch of his body, but she could not see his face. She could not decipher who it was, it had to be someone she knew very well, someone she could trust. Everything was black and blurry, still it felt like home. All the pain had vanished and she felt like she was at home.

Whenever she felt alone she drew herself back into those blurry memories until she fell asleep and could relish in the feeling of being home. In those moments she felt safe and healed.

Waking up was the hardest part.

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In another country far away a dark figure stood by the window and watched the stars outside. He knew this would happen and inwardly he was hoping that it did. It was a good sign actually, nevertheless it made his insides churn. He knew this would take time and it would be a difficult path. However no one knew how much about the process and the consequences. He had felt her presence, he had even been able to smell her signature scent, his hands had touched her and he doubted she had not felt the same as they had gotten lost again.

In frustration he grunted and ruffled his already tousled silver mane. Unbeknown to her she was torturing him over and over again, pestering his mind with all those lively memories he tried so hard to bury at the moment for his own sanity. On the outside he had to play his role, deep inside it was tearing him apart.

The wide-feared copy-nin rubbed the bridge of his nose in growing despair, before he walked back to his lonesome bed.

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Sakura enjoyed her afternoons with her teammates. This day was not as hot as is normally was, she had no treatments scheduled and so she had plenty of time. Naruto decided to take her for a stroll and a cup of delicious coffee in a nearby cafe. Gaara had agreed, because the council meeting he had attended did still last.

The pinkette felt well, her wound did not reopen for a week now. It was a good sign.

"Sakura-chan, there's this cafe nearby. Maybe you want to go there?"

"I'd love to! I haven't had a good coffee for a while now!"

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The blonde man giggled, "Yeah, the coffee at the hospital really sucks!"

Sakura agreed, "I mean Suna is the culinary epitome, but not at the hospital. Naruto, I'm starving! Can we get something to eat too?"

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Naruto started laughing, "Sure! Come on, hurry up!" He tucked his arm into hers and dragged her to the cafe. His action made her burst into laughter.

I'm glad you haven't lost your humor. Kakashi, I promise to bring her back soon.

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The two sat down at a booth on the upper floor of the cafe. It was decorated in white countrystyle with rose coloured cushions, matching placemats and tulips in tiny glass vases were set on every table. Sakura decided to order a traditional Suna style coffee and buckwheat porridge with goat's milk, nuts, dates and fresh figs. Naruto ordered a huge cup of cappuccino and a slice of dark chocolate cake with pomegranate. Both delved into their delightful choices of food.

"You definitely need to taste this!" The happily munching man said. "It's like an orgy of chocolates with sweet fruity notes."

The pinkette laughed again. "Only if you try this, all oriental spices come together."

The two tried a bit of each other's meal and seemed very satisfied with Suna's culinary delights.

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All of a sudden Sakura became contemplative, "I've lost three years of time, Naruto."

"I know."

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"I want to remember, I truly want to."

He gave her his best friendly smile he could muster up. "I'm sure you'll remember everything soon."

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She looked at him, he had changed a lot. He was not that easy going adventurous ANBU anymore, he was more grownup and thoughtful. Even his hair looked different.

"As hard as I want to tell you your past, you know I can't. You have to remember yourself."

Sakura smiled at him sadly.

"Hm… I guess this goes for your past only. Do you want to hear about my family?"

The pinkette nodded and listened to his stories about his life in Konoha with his new family. Sakura was stunned that she had been the medic who assisted Hinata at giving birth. She had not known she was a godmother and Sasuke was the godfather of the male twin.

"Her name is Asatsuyu, her baby brother is Shikata."

"I would love to meet them!"

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"And there's Boruto, our first son. He's two and a few months old now. He looks like me when I was younger."

"Who is the godfahther of Boruto?"

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"Kakashi." For a moment he paused and looked sheepishly, then he stated laughingly, "You know, from team seven to team baby!"

That caught her off guard and she bursted into laughter.

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He continued to tell her funny stories about his family, especially the ones that she had already known, like that one time Boruto had found the secret ramen stack.

Wiping away her tears of joy, she told him honestly, "I have lost a long time. I can't tell you how desperately I want to remember."

Naruto smiled at her. "Maybe I have something that could help. Let's go to my room."

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The pinkette frowned, "This isn't funny." Her left brow could not raise any higher and there was a dangerous twitch in her knuckles.

In defense he waved his hands in front of him. "No! I promise! We brought it with us from Konoha."

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Back at his room she sat down at the lounger in front of the window and he handed her something wrapped in a piece of cloth.

"You should try to remember and maybe this can help. "

Curious fingers unwrapped the item, "I have the feeling that I have seen this before."

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Naruto encouraged her to try to remember.

She was stunned by the exquisite craftsmanship. "It was a gift to me once if I'm guessing right?"

The blonde nodded with a smile.

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It was a tanto in a black sheath with a traditional protection pendant dangling down. She slowly unsheated the sword and was instantly captivated by it's fine armoury, damascus steel with engraved cherry blossoms dancing in the wind.

"Who made this?"

"I don't know the armourer, but the one who commissioned it. And so do you."

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"Who is it?" Emerald eyes bore into his blue ones, as she felt forlorn and miserable.

"You know I can't tell you that, Sakura-chan. I'm sorry. Try to remember. I know you can."

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Holding it in her hands made her feel better. She had seen it before, but she could not recall when. Her head felt blurry and her heart ached of an unknown emptiness.

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That night Sakura fell asleep with the sheated tanto in her arms. In her dreams she found herself lying in a small wooden boat on a fish pond. She sat up and tried to recall the area she was in, but as she looked at her reflection in the glistering clear water, it turned deep black and she fell into it, barely able to keep herself from drowning in the dark.

All of a sudden the kunoichi felt warm strong hands pull her out of the water. Before seh could look at her savior and thank him, she woke up from her dream. Strangely her body felt ice cold like the dark water had felt in her dream. One of her hands had a strong grip on her tanto, the fingers of her other hand clutched on the pendant of her delicate necklace.

Whatever it is, it has something to do with all this.

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In Konoha, Kakashi sat up in his bed and looked at his empty hands. He was heavily breathing from the coldness that coated his body. He thought he would turn crazy. Every night she was haunting him now in his dreams. The great copy-nin was beyond sleep-deprived, it was slowly killing him.

Sakura...

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