Author's Note: I'm so excited about this chapter I don't even want to say anything before you read it! Other thank THANK YOU for all the reviews and the messages and the love! You guys mean the world to me and I looooooove hearing your opinions/thoughts! I can't WAIT to see what you all have to say! Pleeeeease read and review! I love you!
Stiff joints.
That's what you get for sleeping in the backseat of a car. Or the front.
Bench seats were made for sitting, not sleeping. But Winchesters always were rule breakers. I reached out with my foot and pushed open the already cracked car door. I rolled over and stretched. Looking up and letting my eyes follow directly to the dream catcher than hung above me.
This is how it starts… every day.
For the last week I spend every night trying to sleep in my bed, but not being able to and ending up out here instead. Even though Baby won't start she's still home. And she's still what Dean loved.
Speaking of Dean, he's still in hell.
And I'm still on lock down.
And everything about this situation sucks dick.
Judson hasn't texted me. Hasn't called me. Hasn't driven over.
And I don't care.
Well I do… but I don't want to. So I don't.
Giving me my space is probably the smartest thing he can do right now after everything he's done. The thought that I had the key in my hands, and it was ripped from me, makes me absolutely sick to my stomach.
I shook my head to get rid of the thought. The nauseating feeling.
I pushed myself up off the seat and walked through the warm air into the kitchen's back door. Inside was Bobby, making a pot of coffee. We briefly met eyes, but I quickly pulled away.
"Sleep out there again?"
"Yep."
"You know there's about 4 different beds in this house, plus a few sofas. I'm sure one of them would be more comfortable darling."
"Yep."
Bobby sighed.
"Still giving me the cold shoulder huh?"
This time I didn't answer him. I just looked down at my feet.
"Emily… I'm sorry. I didn't want it to be like this."
"Actions have consequences." I finally muttered.
"You're damn right they do. And I'm not fixing to let you run off and face consequences you aren't prepared for. I can take the cold shoulder, I hate it. But as long as your ass is here in this house, in this town, with me. You're safe. So I'll live with the consequences of that."
"You didn't even give me the chance to try Bobby."
"Because there is no coming back from the pit, Em. Hell I wish there was. I'd do anything to bring that boy back, but there's just not a way. Dean chose this for a reason."
"He chose this out of desperation!" I scoffed. "He didn't think it through! He didn't tell anyone, he just acted without a care as to how it would affect anyone else!"
Bobby just watched me as my anger turned to tears. Not arguing, not pushing. Just… watching. I pulled myself back together quickly.
"Have you heard from Sam yet?" I asked Bobby softly, changing the subject.
"No." He sighed again. I nodded and left the room, going up the stairs and to my room… pulling out one of Dean's old ragged cut off shirts and some sweat pants. Then I quickly made sure the door was locked before I pulled out my pill bottle. Thankfully the one thing Judson didn't spill to Bobby about…
Only 3 left. That's enough to get me through today… I need to find more.
I popped one in my mouth and changed, swapping the sweats for denim shorts instead. I slid them on over my converse and grabbed my gun and some cash before walking down the stairs.
"I'm going into town." I mumbled as I passed Bobby in the hall.
"You planning on walking?"
"Well unless you fixed the car yeah."
"Here." He said as he tossed me some old keys. "Put some gas in the tank while you're out."
I didn't say anything before I shut the door and walked down to the old beat up car parked out front of the house. It started… barely.
But it was enough to drive me into town, windows down thanks to the broken AC. I contemplated the best way to get the pills.
Do I steal a script pad?
Do I scope out the pharmacy and pick pocket someone?
Do I find a sketchy drug dealer somewhere near by?
Does South Dakota have sketchy drug dealers?
I drove in circles for an hour before settling on a small group of guys I spotted at the end of an alley way. Yeah I know… sketchy as fuck. Stupid girl. But hey, I can protect myself, and I need the pills.
I parked not far away and casually walked down the alley as if I owned it, confidence is key in any bargaining situation. Always appear to have the upper hand. I approached what I now counted to be 4 men. All were now watching me as I got closer, whispering or mumbling to each other.
"I think you're lost sweetie." One of them called out to me as I approached.
"Somehow I think you're wrong."
"Oh yeah, why is that?" He laughed as he looked between me and his buddies.
I pulled the pill bottle out of my pocket and handed it to him.
"I need more… something tells me you'd know where to find some."
He laughed and twirled the bottle in his hands.
"I'm not a doctor bitch."
"Can you get me the pills or not?"
"Oh come on, what the hell is this?" He laughed gesturing to me. His buddies all chiming in.
"Look if you can't get them then give me back the bottle and I'll be on my way. Otherwise name your price."
The man sized me up and down, then looked over to his friend. They slowly nodded.
"You know, I don't think you want it bad enough… how about I take this, and you come see me in a few days. When you haven't had any. Then we'll see how bad you really want them."
I glared him down and quickly snatched the bottle from his hands, turning and walking away as they all laughed again.
"Yeah I'll see you soon! Come back when you REALLY want it!"
Aggravated and ready to punch something I turned the corner and got back in the car, slamming the door behind me. I went to turn the key and start the engine, but when I looked up my eyes landed on the sign of a local bar. I looked at the clock… 1 in the afternoon… why the hell not.
I put the bottle back in my bag and walked in. As to be expected, the place was empty. There was one young guy carrying a box of beer, setting it on the bar and tossing the rag over his shoulder. He didn't even bother looking up at me when he hollered.
"We're closed."
"C'mon dude. One drink." I sighed as I walked up closer to him. He finally looked up, watching me as I sat at the bar.
"Okay." He said turning around and pouring a drink.
"Aren't you gonna ask me what I want?"
"Nope. It's a gift of mine."
I scoffed. Quite frankly I didn't care what he served me… I just wanted a drink. He turned and placed a glass in front of me. Without breaking eye contact with him I reached down and brought the rim of the glass to my lips… whiskey.
"Okay… you're good." I nodded as I set it back down. He didn't respond. Instead he turned around, putting glasses up behind the bar. I watched him and continued to sip on my drink.
"So when do you actually start serving people in this place."
"Five to five."
I nodded briefly and let my eyes wander, where they landed on a help wanted sign.
"Looking for a waitress?"
"Yep."
"What's the pay around here?"
"Sorry girl, gotta be 21."
"I am 21." I quickly lied.
"No need to lie, I'm technically not open so I technically didn't serve to you. You're just some girl that wandered in here for directions."
I laughed for a moment.
"If only you knew…"
"Knew what?" He asked, not really with peaked interest, but more or less to be polite.
"What I was actually looking for."
"Yeah well, I know these parts pretty well. I can probably point you in the right direction."
"I'm looking for a place to get more of these." I said as I pulled out the pills and set them on the counter. He stopped what he was doing and picked them up, reading the label.
"What's your name?"
"Emily."
"As in the Emily who these were prescribed to? Why don't you go see the doc?"
"It's a long story… truth is I can't guarantee I'll get a refill on those if I go there. But if I find it myself, I know what I want."
"Why do you take these Emily?" He asked me as he handed them back.
"You wouldn't get it." I said picking up the glass again and downing what was left.
"Look. Its not cheap to get these on your own… I could help you out, if you helped me."
"You can get me more?" I asked with a look of seriousness.
"I told you. I know these parts pretty well. Let's just say I know a guy… or two."
"What do you want from me?"
"When I call you for a favor. You come through. I'm gonna need you to hang around here... become a familiar face."
I sat and contemplated.
"Deal." I said reaching out and shaking his hand.
"When do you need more by?"
"Tonight."
"Damn girl… short notice. Be back here around midnight."
"Okay. I'll see you tonight…" I left the word hanging realizing I didn't get his name.
"Chase."
"Chase… I'll see you at midnight."
I left and began driving back to Bobby's. Spending my nights hanging around the bar wasn't really what I wanted… but maybe it would help. Keep my mind off of things? Keep my hands and my feet busy. I don't know. But its something. Something other than laying around. Not sleeping. Thinking.
"You've been gone a while." Bobby mused as I came back in the door.
"I got a job." I lied.
He looked at me shocked, and stood, walking over to me.
"Em, that's. That's great!" He cheered. "It'll be real good for you to get your mind on something else. To be busy. Ya know?"
"Yeah. I uh. I know." I said twisting my hands, mimicking the twisting in my gut knowing I was lying to his face. But Bobby was so excited about it. He actually smiled.
"I'm real proud of you darling." He said as he put his hands on either shoulder. I instantly bit my lip and clamped my eyes, trying to stifle a sob. But it hit me so fast that I couldn't stop my body from shaking a few times. Bobby quickly reacted and wrapped his arms around me.
"Oh kid I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get you all worked up." Bobby said as he patted my back and kissed my head.
"I miss them so much." I cried, half covering my lie, and half truly missing my brothers.
"I know Em."
"I don't understand why Sam left, Bobby. Why won't he come home?"
"I don't know. If I ever find the kid I'll beat it out of him for you okay?"
I chuckled slightly and nodded.
"I'm a… I'm gonna go take a shower and get some clothes laid out. I've got to go back to work late tonight to learn how to close. So don't wait up for me."
"Okay darling. I'll leave the keys out for you."
"Thanks Uncle Bobby. I love you." I said kissing his cheeks and walking up the stairs. I shut my bedroom door and slid down the wall, letting the situation I'm in fully sink in.
At least I have a way to get the pills. Until I can figure out a better way. Until Bobby lets me off this awful house arrest. I pulled out my phone and scrolled… landing on Sam's name.
Everything in my body wanted to hit the green button. To cry to him. To tell him the truth. To tell him everything. To tell him how truly sorry I am for the things that I said. How much I hate myself. How much I hate the things I've done.
But instead I scrolled back up… landing on Judson's name instead.
I opened the empty message template and thought about what to say.
Emily: I miss you.
I laid the phone down and stood, gathering a towel and some things for my shower. Just as I was walking back towards the door the phone dinged on the bed. I sat and began to read the message.
Judson: I miss you more, how are you?
Emily: Fine.
Judson: I don't know why you still try and lie to me.
Emily: What do you expect me to say? That I don't sleep at night? That I lay in a car that won't start cause it's the only thing that feels remotely comfortable?
Judson: I'm sorry Em. I never wanted things to be like this.
Emily: No you're not. You never were.
Judson: Can I come over? So we can talk?
Emily: No. I have plans for tonight.
Judson: Oh…
Judson: Em. Just be careful, I'm here when you're ready to talk.
Emily: There's nothing to talk about. I miss you. But I can't just forget what you did… I don't know why I even texted. This obviously doesn't get me anywhere.
Judson: I'm sorry baby.
Emily: I'm not your baby anymore.
I tossed the phone off the bed and huffed in frustration, popping a pill before going to shower. I stood under the hot water and watched as the beads trailed down my arms, to my hands, where they fell in large drops from the tips of my fingers.
I focused as I followed one down, from my elbow down to the tip of my middle finger. Just as it was about to fall. It stopped, and floated in the air. The surprise of the movement shocked me and I jumped slightly, causing me to lose focus as the drop fell to the bottom of the tub.
I turned and faced the stream of water, letting it fall against my chest. I reached up and took a small handful of water. I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply, then I turned my hand upside down and felt as the water fell… but I never heard it hit the tub. I continued to force myself to breath steadily as I slowly opened my eyes. In front of my where my hand once was, there was a small handful of water… floating. I blinked and it all fell.
Interested I closed my eyes again and tried to picture the objects around me. I trying to focus on the shampoo bottle down to my right. I opened my eyes slowly but felt disappointed as I saw it resting where it was when I initially closed my eyes. I focused harder, pushing my brain to will it to move… still nothing.
My frustration began to grow as nothing continued to happen, and eventually I threw my hands in the air in defeat, but as I did I heard the distinct sound of glass shattering. I moved the curtain back to find the small window and a candle on the edge of the sink both in pieces.
I don't understand… why does it work when I'm angry. How the hell does it work anyways? The pills helped me to keep from freaking out, which prevents me from destroying Bobby's house. As a matter of fact I hardly use them now that I've been taking the pills. But I still had the urge to explore what I was capable of. I still wanted to develop whatever this was, so I could use it to my favor.
Maybe find a way to save Dean.
I finished my shower and carefully stepped out over the piles of glass in the floor. I dressed and walked down to the kitchen. Eating a small sandwich so that I wouldn't get hungry later tonight. I wasn't really sure what to expect, but I wanted to be prepared. I knew it would be kind of obvious if I brought my gun, so I tucked a few knives into random places.
One in my bra.
One in my shoe.
The other I clipped to the edge of my underwear in the front.
Dean always said to be prepared for anything. Never be without a way to defend yourself. I could almost hear his voice saying the words as I thought them in my head.
….
I pulled in and parked the car at the same spot on the street, but the bar that was quiet and empty is now bolstering and crowded. I walked in and the man at the door nodded me on through. I made my way through the crowd to the bar and found chase serving drinks. I sat on the stool in front of him and patiently waited until he finished, and then turned to me.
"You're early."
"Just by a few minutes… I was getting ancy."
"Let me guess, out of pills?"
"I took the last one earlier today."
"Yeah. Being empty is enough to make any addict feel ancy."
"I'm not an addict." I quickly said shooting him and offended glance. He laughed.
"Whatever you say girl."
"So why am I here?"
"Like I said. I want you to be a familiar face… facilitate some business for me."
"Mind spelling that out a little?"
"You'll find out soon enough. For now, just have a drink, play a round of pool. Relax."
"What about my stuff?"
"You'll get it when it gets here."
I nodded as he slid me a drink, then I walked away from the bar and slowly crossed the room, falling into a chair in the corner, watching the room unfold around me. The women. The booze. The way the men tailed them until they were drunk enough to fall prey.
It was sick and twisted.
The fights.
The hook ups.
When I came to the bar with Dean I never noticed these things… It was always just about having a good time, or letting Dean have a good time. I never watched the other people.
Someone in particular caught my eye. I watched as Chase walked slowly towards my table and sat down across from me. I guess I didn't notice it initially but he's pretty damn good looking. Dark hair, dark eyes. He carried himself like he had seen things… I guess that's something I pick up on lately. I can see pain in other people. Maybe I've been in pain for so long that part of me is seeking out someone who feels as miserable on this inside as I do.
"Your present arrived." He smiled.
"Santa make that delivery?"
"Something like that. You want it?"
I nodded quietly.
"C'mon." He said holding out his hand and leading me back behind the bar into the stock room. Where he reached into his back pocket and handed me a small plastic bag. The bag contained several small white pills. Just like the ones in the bottle. I felt more relaxed just looking at them. I reached for them but he pulled back, stepping forward until we were practically nose to nose. I didn't move. Didn't pull away. Didn't push forward.
He slowly placed the small bag in my hand, and then his lips against mine. I didn't hold back, reaching up with my empty hand to pull him closer to me. His hands wound around my waist and my chest rubbed against his.
He pulled away, and his hand stroked my outer thigh.
"Are you sure I don't owe you anything for these?" I mumbled nervously, pulling my eyes away from his, and sliding the bag into my pocket.
"Like I said, one day I'll ask for a favor. And for now…" He leaned in and kissed me again. "Keep coming around. You're good for business. Don't be shy to let a man in here buy you a drink. Hell, get em drunk, ring up a tab. That whiskey you like, it just so happens to be the most expensive on the menu."
"So I AM paying for the pills… just not with my money?"
He smiled. "You're not a stupid one are you?"
"No… but I am a lonely one." I added before I left the room. "I'll see you tomorrow." I called out to him. He didn't respond, but he didn't have to. I was almost to the car when someone grabbed my arm. I spun and had a knife pulled and ready to use before green eyes laid on mine.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Judson growled.
I stood in shock, part of me surprised he was here, but happy. The other part angry that he dare approach me right now.
"Emily! What are you doing here?"
"Getting a drink… and now I'm going back to Bobby's." I said ripping my arm from his hand.
"Those people in there don't have anything to offer you, so what are you doing running around with them?"
"I'm not running around with anyone! And how the fuck would you even know who I'm talking to in there? Huh?! You been following me around?"
"That doesn't matter Em. You and I both know nothing good comes out of this place."
I shook my head at him and laughed, walking towards Bobby's car.
"Emily please talk to me dammit!"
"No!" I spun and yelled. "I'm sick and tired of all the fucking talking! That's all you ever wanna do is talk talk talk! Well you did enough talking for the both of us. You and Bobby made all the decisions for me, did all the talking."
"Em I didn't wanna do that. Okay? You know me. You know the last thing I want to do is hurt you in any way… but I had to protect you from yourself! Don't you get it?! I PROMISED Dean I would do everything I could to protect you, to help you… and I'm not backing off the promise. But its getting really damn hard to protect you from a distance."
"Yeah well you shoulda thought about that before you pulled your little trick. Before you lied and cornered me! Trapped me!"
"Fine. Ya know what? You just do what ever you want to fucking do and I'll just walk away. Okay? Is that what you want?"
I stood there and let the words sink in.
Walking away. Leaving.
Just like everyone else.
"No." I whispered.
"Then let me back in Em." He said as he moved closer to me, moving to hold me, but I pulled away.
"It's not that simple."
"Tell me what to do to fix it baby… I'm trying here."
"You can't just fix it Judson. You can't just miraculously find a way to get Dean out of hell! That was my one shot and we both know it! That's why you took it away from me, right?"
"I'm sorry Em. Dean wouldn't want you down there."
"Goodbye Judson."
"Em stop! We can work this out!"
"Do not call me! Do not follow me around anymore! Stay away from me!" I yelled.
"Emily please!"
"I can't look at you anymore." I whispered as I walked back to the car and began the drive back to Bobby's. I just… I don't know what I want. I don't know what's in my head. I don't know what to do… I just. I want my brothers back.
….
Three weeks later
"What do you say we get outta here?" The blonde man asked me as I leaned against the bar playfully.
"I don't wanna go." I whined with a smile. "I like it here. It's fun."
"Well, I'm not afraid of an audience as long as you're not." He said as he pulled me close to his lap. Normally I don't let a guy get this close to me, but this one was cute, and fun. And I've been enjoying the attention lately… plus after about 4 pills and a drink not much gets me riled up these days.
Downers. That's what they call them around here. I'm still not sure where Chase gets his unlimited supply, but he's not missed a delivery yet, and I've got plenty to keep my mind off of my shitty life.
"Hey pal." Chase called over to the guy, I quickly pulled away from him. "I think you've had enough."
"Oh come on man, I'm just getting started."
"Too bad, get the hell out of here, and leave the girl." Chase said as he grabbed my arm possessively and pulled me against the bar. I didn't look back up, but heard the blonde man scoff as he threw down his cash and left. I looked up to Chase, who looked angry. I wasn't sure why though?
"Let's go." He said as he yanked me backwards and almost off my feet. He dragged me down the side of the bar until he was out from behind it and pulled me into the back room.
"Let go of me!" I whined as I tried to pull away, but he shoved me against the shelf.
"What the hell was that?" He growled.
"What?! I was doing what I'm supposed to do!"
He pushed forward and greedily pressed his lips against mine, his hands roamed my body and landed on my ass, grabbing it harshly to the point where it almost hurt.
"This is mine." He growled into my ear. "Do you job without letting men touch my things."
"I. I-I'm sorry." I mumbled.
"Go home. You're done for tonight." He said as grabbed my face tightly, kissing me once more, possessively. Then he stormed out of the room.
I quickly and quietly made my way out the door and practically ran to the car.
It was becoming more and more clear that my debt to Chase was me. He owned me. Controlled me. Anything he asked I was to do without question… and I did. Thankfully he hadn't pushed me out of my clothes yet, but after tonight he made it clear another man wasn't allowed to touch me. Marking his territory tells me that one day he plans on more.
I didn't want this.
Any of this.
But I cant… I can't give up the pills. I can't function without them. And I don't know where else to find them, and for no money? I'll never find this opportunity again. I can't walk away from this now…
I walked into the house to find Bobby sitting in his study.
"You're home early." He called, I stepped into the room. "Not that I'm complaining. I've barely seen you the last couple of weeks. All you do is sleep and work."
"Yeah. I uh… I got sent home early."
"What for? You feeling okay?"
"Yeah, Uncle Bobby I'm fine." I quickly lied, looking down at the floor.
"You think I'm stupid darling?" He then said. My heart began to race, panic filled my face.
Oh god… he knows. He knows! What do I do?!
"Bobby I-" I began to try and beg, but was quickly cut off.
"I can tell when something's wrong with you. And right now I can tell by the look on your face something happened tonight… so start talking."
"Its just a guy… he got a little handsy, so they let me go home early." I quickly lied realizing he didn't actually know about the pills. My heart began to slow to its normal pace again.
"What?!" He asked standing and walking towards me. "Who was it! Do I need to come down there?"
"No! No no no, Bobby please don't. I. I don't wanna make a fuss. They threw the guy out. I promise."
"Are you sure Em? I don't want no one laying hands on my girl."
"I know. I'm fine. It's fine. I'm a, I'm gonna go to bed okay?"
"Okay darling. Night." He said as he walked past me. I quickly jogged the steps two at a time until I was behind my door. I hate lying to Bobby… I hate it all. I hate everything about it. I hate the fact that he thinks I'm doing better. I hate the look on his face.
I hate myself.
I popped the bottle in my drawer open and placed two of the pills into my mouth. Laying down on the bed and staring out the window at the full moon. Wondering where the nearest werewolf was. Wondering how many people he'll kill tonight. Wondering If I'd ever hunt again.
The urge to hunt died when Dean did.
Demons- sure. I'll take any bastard I can find and send his ass to the pit unless they're of use to me. But monsters? Ghosts? Cases?... maybe Sam's out there still fighting the good fight.
…
"Hey Chase, can we talk?" I asked as I went into the bar the next night. He nodded and I followed him to the back room.
"What's up?" He asked, as if nothing had happened the night before.
"Look. I uh. I'm sorry about last night. I didn't mean to let the guy get so far. It won't happen again… so please don't be mad at me."
Or really, please don't stop supplying.
He smiled, reaching up and letting his fingers run through my hair.
"I'm not mad at you girl, I just wanted to make sure you understood. I don't like it when other people touch my things."
I tried to hold back my cringe as he referred to me as his property. But at least that makes me something to somebody? I stood on my tip toes and kissed him, letting his tongue invade my mouth and his hands scour my body.
I didn't hate it.
I hated the way he looked at me, but not the way he touched me.
Odd isn't it? What we're willing to overlook when we're getting the things we want.
He continued to trail his lips down my jaw and my neck, up to my ear.
"I have something I want you to try…" He cooed.
"What is it?"
"It's something that'll make you feel really good. I promise."
"Okay." I agreed nervously.
"This is gonna take you to new places girl. Open your mouth."
I did as I was told and let him place a powdery substance under my tongue. It tasted sweet but bitter all at the same time, I had the urge to spit it out but he held my mouth shut.
"Let it dissolve." He commanded. I swallowed and waited as the taste began to lessen in my mouth, replaced by a tingly sensation, almost burning.
"C'mon, lets go have some fun." He said as he led me back to the bar. I was handed my regular drink and I watched as the people danced and laughed, but soon they all began to look funny. They moved in weird ways.
The whole room moved, shifting to the left or the right suddenly without warning. Their voices, were somehow louder and deeper.
My head felt like it was spinning.
"Chase…" I mumbled. Looking around for him, but he was out of sight.
"Chase!" I called, as I stood off the stool. But when I did the entire room began to spin. I moved, but I'm not sure in what direction. I couldn't tell if I was walking or floating.
"Chase!" I began to spin, faces blurring… until they became familiar.
Dean.
Sam.
Chase.
Bobby.
Judson.
Demons.
Yellow eyes.
Lillith.
They all chased me, moving closer and further away as I called out for Chase, but then they turned into cries for someone else.
I turned, and Judson was right in front of me. Except he wasn't really, So I ran… walking past Dean. Covered in blood.
Sam. Black eyes…
What's wrong with me!
Why won't it stop!
Like a carousel the room just kept spinning… I made a run for the bathroom but it felt like my legs were horizontal instead of vertical as I moved, the entire room leaning to the right. I made to the sink and tried to splash the water on my face, but it changed colors and I couldn't feel it.
I couldn't reach it. My hands were just slipping through it.
I reached into my pocket as I fell on what I think was the ground, maybe it was the ceiling… I don't really know at this point. I hit the number 4 and pressed the green button, at least I think it was the green one. I prayed… prayed for the phone to ring.
…
(Third Person POV)
Bobby moved from the study to the kitchen to get a refill on his drink. He was used to spending the nights alone. He always had, and with Emily working every night he was able to get back into the solidary and comfortable routine.
A night cap… or ten.
Research and finding cases, assigning hunters, answering calls. It was his norm, and he was happy to be back to it for the most part.
He still worried for Emily, knowing her grief was much larger than she knew how to process, but he was happy she was putting her time towards something positive. He was happy she was here, with him.
Now if only he could get Sam to come back, and the two of them could help each other.
His mind wandered to the call he received early in the day… someone pretending to be Dean. A cruel joke, probably intended for Emily to answer instead of him, but thankfully she was still asleep.
He sat down at the desk again and was preparing to dive back into translating the book in front of him when a knock at the door caught his attention. He grabbed his revolver and made his way to the door, opening it without hesitation.
What he saw caused his heart to nearly stop.
"Surprise!" Dean sighed as if he was out of breath. Bobby knew instantly this was a trap of some sort, a trick, but he had to get the monster in closer to make his move.
"I, I don't..." Bobby stuttered, faking his stunned expression.
"Yeah, me neither." Dean laughed as he entered the doorway. "But here I am."
Bobby quickly took his hand off the gun and reached instead for the silver knife, lunging forward and slashing at Dean's arm. Dean grabs him and twists him around, but Bobby breaks the grip and backhands him across the face.
"Bobby! It's me!" The assumed monster yelled. No possible way could this be Dean and Bobby knew it.
"My ass!"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait! Your name is Robert Steven Singer. You became a hunter after your wife got possessed, and... you're about the closest thing I have to a father. Bobby. It's me." Dean pleaded. Bobby lowered he knife, walking forward and placing a hand on Dean's shoulder, but then he quickly reached up to cut him and Dean returned his action just as quick, disarming him in the process.
"I am not a shapeshifter!"
"Then you're a Revenant!"
"Alright. If I was either, could I do this – with a silver knife?" Dean rolled up his sleeve and bit his lip as he let the blade slide against his skin, blood trailing down his arm.
"Dean?" Bobby asked in true disbelief. His heart knew the boy in front of him was his, but his mind warned him again and again it could only be a trick.
"That's what I've been trying to tell you." Dean sighed.
Bobby grabbed Dean and pulled him in for a tight hug, which Dean returned enthusiastically, relief falling on his face as he finally felt like he was back with his family. He hugged Bobby and thought about how amazing it felt to be here again. To be alive. To breathe.
"It's... It's good to see you, boy." Bobby said as they pulled apart.
"Yeah, you too."
"But... how did you bust out?"
"I don't know. I just, uh, I just woke up in a pine box..."
Suddenly Bobby threw holy water in Dean's face, causing him to pause, then spit it out.
"I'm not a demon either, you know." He smiled sarcastically.
"Sorry. Can't be too careful." Bobby shrugged.
"Where are Em and Sam?" Dean asked, feeling his heart leap at the thought of just seeing them, let alone grabbing them into his arms. His whole mission since he climbed out of the box has been to get back to them, and he didn't want to wait a second longer.
"Oh uh. Well… Emily is at work."
"Work?" Dean asked confused.
"Yeah. She uh. Got a job, about a month ago."
"What about hunting?" Dean asked confused.
"Look boy, there's a lot to talk about, why don't we wait till she gets home."
"Okay, she get off soon? Its almost midnight."
"No, she uh, she works nights, she'll be home about the time the sun starts to come up."
"Oh." Dean said, feeling the disappointment in having to wait. "Well what about Sam?"
Dean didn't miss as Bobby's face contorted into a look of anger, quickly replaced by sadness, and the unwillingness to talk.
"He uh. He's not here Dean." The old hunter finally mumbled.
"What do you mean he's not here? If he's not here then where the hell is he? And why the hell are you making that face?!"
"Look Dean some thi-" Bobby's ringing phone cut him off, he looked down at the caller ID. "Gimme a sec, it's your sister."
Dean's heart fluttered at the thought of hearing her voice again.
"Hello?" Bobby answered.
"Bobby!" Emily cried. "I- it won't stop moving!"
"What?! Emily?"
Dean instantly picked up on Bobby's change in posture and tone of voice. He moved to where his ear was closer to the phone, trying desperately to listen.
"They're here! They're all here… they're everywhere. I see Dean! And-and Sam! And the demons Uncle Bobby! Make it stop! They're all spinning."
Bobby couldn't understand for a second what in the hell she was rambling on about but he knew one thing, she wouldn't call if she didn't need him, and by god he was going to get to her.
"Okay, okay darling, take a breath, now where are you?"
Dean's heart raced. He JUST got back, he couldn't bare the thought of losing her without ever getting to see her again. It's all he thought about in hell. Emily and Sam were the only thing that lessened the pain, thinking of them was the only sliver of joy he had… at least for a while.
"Th-the bar… on Bridgewood."
"Okay, you stay there. I'm coming to get you."
"No! Bobby… No… he's gonna be really angry." She mumbled into the phone.
"Who?" Bobby tried to ask but the line cut off. Bobby quickly grabbed his keys off the counter and Dean was hot on his tail.
"What the hell's going on Bobby!" Dean demanded.
"I don't know boy! You heard as much as I did."
"I thought you said she was at work?! She works at the bar?"
"Dammit Dean I don't know! I didn't ask okay? I was just happy she was doing something other than moping around!"
"You were supposed to take care of her!" Dean yelled frantically, not really angry at the man, but more or less scared and upset.
"I'm trying here Dean! You don't know what's all happened to that poor girl since you left. So shut up and let me drive."
Dean grunted feeling slightly guilty, but more anxious than anything. Bobby flew down the main roads in town until he came up to the bar. He recognized this as the bar all the younger crowd in town hung out in, it was known for being a major source of drug suppliers, and he knew if Emily was inside, chances were she was roofied, which would explain the rambling and nonsense.
Dean and Bobby both got out of the car and began to walk in.
"That's my car… she's here." Bobby said as he pointed to the old junker on the other side of the road. Dean then took off at a jogging pace, throwing the door open to get inside, he and Bobby both began to push through the crowd and call out her name.
"Em!" Dean called, seeing no sign of her frightened him. "Bobby I can't find her!"
"Check the bathrooms, I'll check the other end of the bar." Bobby nodded to him. Dean quickly went down the small hallway leading to the bathrooms, he checked the men's first and was almost grateful not to find her inside. Then he moved over to the women's, knocking quickly hoping if someone was inside they'd respond. When he got no answer he slowly pushed the door open.
Sunk into the corner was a girl he barely recognized, but he'd know those brown eyes anywhere.
"Emily!" He cried in relief and joy, he rushed to grab her in his arms but she scurried away from him in fear and begged for things to stop spinning.
"Em, babygirl! It's me!" Dean pleaded with her softly, but it was clear then that she wasn't really seeing him, but through him.
Bobby came through the door behind him, and carefully kneeled and approached her the same way Dean had.
"Darling, it's Bobby. Can you see me?" He asked as he held her face between his hands, her pupils were dilated and he could feel her heart racing as he grabbed her wrist. She barely nodded as her eyes wandered past him and back to Dean.
"Uncle Bobby! He's everywhere… I. I see him everywhere!" She cried, obviously hallucinating as her eyes went from the ceiling to the corner.
"She's on something." Bobby mumbled to Dean. "Lets get her out of here."
"Em, can you walk?" Bobby asked her.
"I-I don't know." She said as he stood, pulling her to stand next to him.
"I gotcha Em, come on, let's go home."
"He's gonna be really mad if I leave!"
"Who Em?" Dean asked, but as she looked at him he only saw more fear and pain on her face. It slowly sunk in that she didn't realize he was ACTUALLY there. She saw him and assumed she was still hallucinating.
Bobby led her out the door carefully as she swayed side to side, feeling as if she was walking on the walls instead of the actual floors. Once in the car she laid down in the backseat, and Bobby told her to shut her eyes for the drive home, trying to lower the amount of stimulation around her, hoping it would lessen the effectiveness of the drug to be in a dark quiet place.
"I. I'm sorry Uncle Bobby." She mumbled as he drove.
"It's okay darling. It's all gonna be okay."
"I don't like lying to you about it." Bobby looked at Dean with a confused expression, neither of them pushed, hoping she would accidentally confess the rest of her thoughts. "I just can't stop! I need it Bobby… I need it."
"What the hell is she talking about?" Dean asked.
"Do I really look like I know the answer to that question?" Bobby replied sarcastically.
"No." Dean mumbled.
"Let's just get her home, and let this junk wear off… get her sobered up. Then we can talk."
Dean nodded and turned around to watch as Emily stared at him in awe, and then she would cry… begging for the hallucinations to go away. For the images of him to go away.
This wasn't the girl he raised. This wasn't the girl he knew was strong and fearless. This girl was weak and broken, this girl was lost. His Emily was courageous and pushed through the darkness to find the light… and the girl he looked at now, was swimming in blackness.
She was pale and thinner than she had been when he died. The bags under her eyes were darker and more prominent, as if they had become a permanent part of her features. Her hair was tattered and unkept, which was something she would have never allowed in her right mind. Her nails were worn down from chewing, something she hated and a habit he broke her of years ago. The clothes she wore weren't ones he had ever seen before. They were new. They were revealing. They weren't hers, they couldn't be.
"Bobby." He asked quietly. "Where is Sam?"
Bobby sighed, debating how to answer the question.
"I don't know Dean… he left. A few weeks after you died."
"He didn't take Em with him?"
"No… He uh…" Bobby paused, debating on telling Dean the truth. "He just left."
"And neither of you have heard from him since? Do you even know if he's alive?"
"Look Dean. I was doing everything I could to keep that girl back there treading water, hell half the time she was trying to drown. Now I've reached out to Sam and so has she, but I'm not going to put my efforts into dragging his ass back until I had her under control. You just… you don't understand what it was like."
"Well then enlighten me Bobby!" Dean said frustrated. "I knew it wasn't gonna be a walk in the fucking park but look at her! She's not even her anymore!"
"Boy. Don't you take that tone with me… when she wakes up. You have that conversation with her. We have done EVERYTHING we could to just keep her breathing day in and day out."
"I'm sorry Bobby… I just. I don't get it." He paused. "And where the hell is Judson in all this?"
"Em sent him away, about a month ago."
"Why?"
"Because he stood in her way of getting to you."
"What do you mean getting to me?"
"I mean she's done nothing but fight tooth and nail to get you back to the surface, she was prepared to walk her happy ass down there."
The thought of Emily in the pit made Dean's entire body feel weak. He stopped the thought from going any further, knowing his heart couldn't bear the pain of picturing her there… on that slab of concrete.
"Bobby… did she do this? Is this why I'm back?"
"To be honest boy, I don't know. We'll have to ask her that tomorrow."
Once back to the house, Bobby half walked, half carried Emily back inside the house, laying her on the couch, so that if she fell it wouldn't be as far of a drop as her bed, plus he wasn't quite sure she could make it up the stairs right now.
He gave her a cup of hot tea, and had to repeatedly tell her to lay down and keep her eyes closed. She seemed to still hallucinate, but it wasn't as bad if she kept her eyes shut. Dean watched her every movement, heard her whimper as she struggled to fall asleep. Finally her body gave in to the adrenaline it had been running and she crashed, sending her into a deep sleep.
"You should get washed up Dean, we've got a lot to talk about tomorrow."
"We need to find Sam."
"Yeah, we'll do that."
"What if he made a Deal Bobby…"
"Then we'll figure it out. Now go take a shower, you smell like dirt."
Dean half chuckled as the old man gave him a hand and helped pull him to his feet from where he sat on the ground next to the couch Emily slept on. It was so odd to be so close to her, yet still have to keep his distance. He couldn't wait for her to wake up. For her to see him. To know he's truly there. He wanted to hold her again, to make things better. To find Sam, for them to all be a family again, to be on the road, as a team.
He walked up the stairs and wandered into Emily's room. There he found his bag, containing all his clothes… he noticed several items were missing, and knew that was because Emily was wearing them. But he picked out a few that he hoped were clean and went to shower.
The grave dirt washed off of him and revealed the hand print on his shoulder. He hadn't showed it to Bobby yet, or to anyone. Quite frankly it scared him just a little. Whatever the hell left it must have been one powerful son of a bitch.
He finished washing and put his clothes on before walking back down the stairs. Emily's sleeping form was still. He couldn't stand to be on the other side of the room, away from her, so instead he moved the mattress from her bed down the stairs and laid it beside the couch on the floor, knowing that there was a good chance she could roll off in the middle of the night he left the side closest to the couch open, and let himself sleep.
….
(Emily's POV)
You know that groggy heavy feeling you get when you wake up at 2 in the morning just to pee? No real intentions on getting up, just making a quick stop to the toilet before returning back to your slumber. Hell you don't even open your eyes all the way.
That's the way it felt all over. That's the way it felt in my hands. In my feet.
My head pounded.
I tried to remember the things that happened the night before, but it was all a blur after the stock room… I somehow remembered seeing Dean, and Sam, and Bobby, and the demons, and Judson… But I must have been hallucinating. I slowly dragged open my eyelids and they landed on the ceiling that I instantly recognized to be Bobby's living room.
Why was I down here instead of in my bed? I stretched trying to wake my heavy limbs but when I did I lost my balance and rolled off the couch, I expected to land on the hard floor, but was surprised as I landed on a mattress instead.
I quickly looked to my right and began to panic.
"Bobby!" I yelled, but no matter how many times I closed and reopened my eyes the image of Dean in front of me wouldn't disappear.
"Bobby!" I cried, he came running down the stairs and I turned to look at him.
"Please make it stop! I keep seeing him! I- it hurts… Bobby please!" I rocked back and forth with the heels of my hands digging into my eye sockets.
"Emily, babygirl it's me." Dean's voice flowed through my head. It was painful how real it sounded.
"Please!" I begged… "I won't do them again! Please I'll stop taking them! I promise Bobby! Just make it stop…"
"Emily!" Bobby said shaking my shoulders. "Emily look at me!"
I finally pried my hands away from my face, but shook in fear as I could still see the form of Dean's face over his shoulder, staring at me in concern.
It was so real… the detail on his face, the look in his eyes. It twisted my soul until it screamed.
"Emily!" Bobby said snapping his fingers in front of my face. "Em its Dean… It's really him."
"No no no no no…" I cried dropping my head again. Knowing this was all just a sick trick my mind was playing on me.
"Babygirl… it's me." Dean's voice moved closer to me, it sounded like rain after a long draught. Filling my ears and my mind with memories.
"Dean…" I cried. Knowing even though he couldn't really hear me I could at least pretend to talk back.
"Emily Anne… open your eyes. I'm right here."
Rough hands were on mine, they were warm, and familiar. They pulled gently and I slowly pushed my eyes to open again, trying to see clearly through the salty haze.
"It's me kiddo." Dean's face was in front of mine, a single tear fell down his cheek as he tried to force himself to smile.
I shook my head.
"No… I. I tried so hard. I'm so sorry Dean, I can't save you." I cried.
"Em, listen to me. Hear my voice. Its real! Do you feel this?" He asked as he squeezed his hands around mine. I stared for a second, realizing that the room wasn't still spinning, and that my head was still foggy but was becoming clearer by the second.
I looked up again, still expecting the man before me to disappear.
But he didn't.
"Kiddo, I'm back… I'm right here." He said as he placed my hand against his beating heart.
I gasped.
Nothing in the world could mimic the beating of his heart. I'd listened to it so many times over the last year I memorized everything about it. Nothing could fake that… no hallucination. No dream.
"Dean?!" I asked, letting all sense of hope run ramped in my heart. It may hurt like hell if it's not real…. But what if.
What if.
"Yeah kiddo its me!" Dean smiled, another tear trying to break its way free from his piercing green eyes. I lunged my body forward and wrapped myself around Dean like a tree trunk. Sobs left my body uncontrollably as I took every second as another reassurance that I wasn't actually dreaming.
That dean was HERE.
Dean was ALIVE.
He squeezed me over and over again as he gently rocked us back and forth.
"De I- I missed you so much!" I sobbed into his neck.
"I know Em, I missed you too. Every day… Every damn day."
"I can't believe you're back!" I smiled and cried at the same time as I pulled back to look into his face. He chuckled and kissed my forehead before hugging me again, I settled into his arms like I always had.
"Me too kiddo… but we have a lot to talk about."