Author's Note: DON'T HATE ME PLEASE! I'm sorry I've been MIA yall… life got busy, and I got writers block, and I was super excited with my idea for this chapter, but then when I would sit down to write it all I just had a hard time getting things to flow? I tried to make this fun and lighthearted, but I think I'm only decent at the depressing and dramatic shit… which kinda depresses me BUT ANYWAYS. The next chapter will put us back on track with season 4, and I really do have some tricks up my sleeve coming up later. For now, here is the chapter that took me FOREVER to write. I'm sorry for that again. I hope I won't get stuck like this again anytime soon, and thank you all for waiting patiently/impatiently. And I'm sorry if its kinda sloppy/doesn't flow well. I really did struggle with all this 'normal' stuff. I'm ready for some Winchester drama again! Love you all! PLEASE READ AND REVIEW! Let me know you haven't jumped ship! Thanks for all the love and support!
"Are we there yet?!" I practically bounced from the backseat. Ever since Dean had leaked his plan at the gas station I'd been a ball of excitement. Overly cheery, persistently smiling, and probably a bit obnoxious. But after so many terrible things in our life… I didn't mind being a little obnoxious.
"No…" Sam groaned again.
"Did you get our hotel right on the beach?" I asked tapping his shoulder.
"Yes Em. I did… you can walk out the door and onto the sand, okay? I promise."
"Eeeeeek!" I squealed. Judson who was still trying to sleep next to me cringed as it pierced his ears.
"Shut up." He mumbled.
"Baaaaabe. We're going to the beach!" I squealed again crawling into his lap, planting a sloppy kiss on his cheek. He grumpily pushed me out of his lap.
If it weren't for my impeccable mood I would've punched him. BUT I'M TOO DAMN EXCITED TO CARE!
"Almost kiddo, another hour." Dean smiled back at me. He seemed to be the only half as excited as I was to be going to the beach. We had gone on and on about how we were going to catch crabs at night, and go snorkeling for seashells. I can't wait to lay on the beach and soak up the sun, sand it my toes, maybe an ice cold drink in my hand. And if I'm lucky… a little alone time with Judson.
…
"Honey I'm home." Dean mumbled as he pushed open the door with his foot and led us into our suite for the next few days. Yep. That's right. A SUITE! How fuckin fancy is that?! I nearly pushed him over trying to get in and soak in the light colored walls and bright blue décor. It was airy and natural and beautiful. My eyes followed around the room from the kitchen area, to the living room, to the balcony.
"Oh. My. God." I said dropping the bags and walking towards it. I pulled the floor length curtains to the side and pushed open the glass sliding door.
The warm ocean breeze blew against my face immediately. I closed my eyes and breathed it in. Never in my life had I felt something so magical. So warm and cleansing. My eyes watered, and it wasn't because of the sea salt in the air, but because it was everything I've wanted for so long.
"We made it De." I said recognizing the footsteps behind me before I even opened my eyes.
"Yeah we did kiddo." He said as he wrapped his arms around my neck and hugged me. Kissing my temple briefly.
"So what's first on the list?" Sam said walking out next to us.
"Clothes! Swimsuits! We gotta go get some vacation wear. You guys and your three layers of plaid aren't fitting in."
"Okay, where to?" Sam chuckled.
"I don't know. I've never been here. Let's just cruise till we find a place." I shrugged.
"Well what are we waiting for then?"
"Let me finish unpacking the car and we'll go." Dean said releasing me. He and Sam disappeared, but I stayed leaned over the railing. Take in the shore line, the pier a ways down, the beach chairs empty and waiting for us. It was heaven on earth.
"Hey." A warm voice cooed as his hands grazed my waist. "Whatcha looking at?"
"I don't even know how to describe it."
"It's nice Em. I'm glad we came." He said as he kissed my cheek. I turned in his arms to face him, and kissed him deeply. His hand slowly slid down and back around, cupping my ass. I responded by dipping a finger in the front of his waist band and pulling it down just slightly. Enough to follow the happy trail until it disappeared into his boxers.
"Not here." He whispered to me, squeezing particularly rough before releasing me.
"Ughhh… you're such a tease."
….
I hung my head out the window as we cruised down the strip. The sun was bright in the open blue sky and I couldn't stop smiling. We pulled into some t-shirt shop and I literally bounced out of the car.
"De I need a card!"
"Why… we're all buying things."
"I need my OWN card! I've got some shopping to do." I said as I grinned ear to ear. Dean rolled his eyes but surrendered a card.
"C'mon. You're mine." I winked as I took Judson by the hand and dragged him into the store with me and a skip.
There were so many bright colors, shirts all over the walls, boogie boards, beach chairs, sunglasses, bathing suits, your one stop shop for everything basically. It was AWESOME!
"Where are you going babe?" Judson giggled form behind me.
"Swim suits first! I need your help picking one out!"
"You don't need my help with that."
"Yes I do! You have to help me find which one looks best."
"You look good in anything." He said as he pulled me backwards and tucked us into a corner behind a rack of bikinis. He kissed me. His lips full of heat, playful, and daring knowing anyone could turn the corner at any moment.
I never wanted this to stop. But as two small kids ran past us we jumped apart, giggling like idiots.
"So… what color should I wear?"
"Hm..." Judson hummed. "I've always loved the way you look in blue. Bright royal blue."
"Well. That's specific." I smiled.
"Here…" He said digging through a rack. "Try this one. Its unique. Like you."
I took the swimsuit from his hand. It was royal blue with fringe all over the breast area of the halter top. The bottoms were had a boy short cut. They had little cuts of fringe down the hip. Black beads tied onto the bottom of the fringe sporadically. It was cute- what can I say, the man has good taste.
"Well I'll be right back." I winked as I walked into the dressing rooms. I put on the suit and turned in the mirror. It actually fit well and hugged in the right places, without being too exposing which I know Sam and Dean will appreciate. But the one thing I couldn't stop staring at were the scars. All of them… the large one yellow eyes left along my stomach, the ones on my ribcage. I tried to look away from them but without a shirt on its just where the eye wanders.
"Em. Come out." Judson coaxed.
"I don't know…"
"Babe." He sighed. I caved and began unlocking the door.
"Okay, what do you think?" I asked walking out to Judson. He raised his eyebrows and smiled before nodding slightly. I giggled, but still felt slightly self conscious. Judson must have noticed, because he approached me and tipped my chin.
"You're beautiful."
"I'm marked." I whispered.
"With strength… and courage. Em those scars are a part of you. Don't hide, not from me. Okay?"
I nodded slightly and he kissed me. Short and sweet. The sound of boots coming around the corner pulled us apart and I held myself nervously as Dean's eyes fell on me.
"Oh. Hell no." He said shaking his head.
"De! Its not even that bad!"
"No." He said firmly. Then he grabbed a grandma suit off the rack next to him. "Here. One piece. Classy."
"Then you wear it grandma!"
"Dean, its definitely not the worst one in here…" Sam mumbled as he held up what could barely be considered a swim suit, more like lingerie. Dean looked between me and the skimpy suit.
"I don't like it."
"Well I do." I shot back crossing my arms.
"Do you have to have one? Can't you just swim in a tshirt?"
"Sam! Tell him he's being ridiculous. This is appropriate AND cute. It's a compromise! And I like it…" I said shooting him the puppy dog eyes. He always caves with the puppy dog eyes. A few moments of that and then he turned his own puppy dog eyes on Dean, I followed suit and Dean looked between the two of us disgusted before stomping away. Sam winked before following after him.
"Well. I'm assuming that's settled?" Judson asked confused.
"Yup! I can have it. Puppy eyes work on my brothers EVERY time."
"Good to know. What's next on the list?"
"I need comfy cute clothes to be a beach bunny in." I said going back in the dressing room to get changed.
"What about sunglasses?"
"Oh! Those too!" I said pulling my shirt back over my head. Then I got an idea.
"Hey you." I said softly. "Come help me."
"What?!"
"Come help me." I said peeking through the door.
Judson didn't reply… But the door slowly pushed open, and in he stepped, then he closed it behind him. His hands reached for me and pulled at the sides of my underwear along my hips, running his fingers along them. I pulled off the shirt I had just pulled on. Leaving me in only my bra. He dipped his faced and buried it between my breasts. I gripped his hair and pulled softly as he nipped and sucked at all the right places.
"Judson." I breathed softly.
"Shhh.." he whispered as he slid his face up to the side of mine. "They'll hear you."
Then he did what I least expected and began to trail his hot mouth down my body. It stirred me in ways I forgot I could… The heat building inside of me. His tongue danced from my belly button to my underwear, then he inched them down, kissing as he moved across the sensitive skin.
"Mmm…" I moaned. Begging him not to stop. But he did, sliding back up to kiss me.
"You're too loud." He teased. Then he turned to leave. Leaving me breathless and horny against the wall. Trying to piece together everything that just happened.
…..
"Okay, did we get it all?" Sam asked as I met him back at the register.
"I think so." I smiled as I set my pile on the counter. It was twice the size of the boys. But I loved the bright bold colors and I just couldn't resist.
"Geez Em." Sam laughed.
"What can I say? I'm excited."
"Where's Judson?"
"Said he'd meet us out front. I threw in his clothes with mine."
"Oh well I guess he and Dean are too impatient to wait in line."
"That and there's no hot girls in here for Dean to stare at."
"True." Sam smiled. "Hey uh, Em… I really am sorry."
"I don't wanna talk about it Sammy."
"I know. I just. I want you to know that I love you, and that I'm sorry for everything."
"I know." I said as I smiled briefly to the cashier, handing her my sunglasses. We stood in silence as she packed all my things into the bag. Then Sams. I payed with a smile and quickly made my way out the door, Judson and Dean leaned against the impala waiting.
"Geez Em. Did you get enough?" Dean said as he moved to pop the trunk.
"Maybe, if not we can always come back."
"Yeah. Right." Judson laughed.
"Okay, what else do we need?"
"Food?" Dean asked.
"After the beach! Please Dean!"
"Fine, fine… we'll hit a drive thru on the way back." He caved.
"Em you should eat something too." Judson said as we climbed into the backseat.
"I'm not hungry! I just wanna get out there." I whined.
"But if you don't eat you'll be starving later.
"Fiiiiiine. Get me a kids meal or something. I don't care."
"You are something else." He said shaking his head and putting his arm up behind my shoulders.
"So are you." I replied with a small naughty smile.
….
"Are you ready yet?!" I bounced, banging on the bathroom door for Dean to hurry. Sam was standing next to me in a swim trunks and a tshirt, holding all the things I had piled into his arms. Boogie boards, towels, a beach bag. He was impatiently waiting, but not saying a word.
"Almost!" Dean yelled back.
"Hurry up." I groaned.
Suddenly the door flew open and Dean walked out in black swim trunks and grey tshirt. It was odd to see him in swim trunks, I don't think he even owned a pair of shorts in his life.
"Are you happy now? I feel naked." He complained.
"Dean. They're shorts. Your white ass legs won't catch fire, I promise."
"I still feel naked." He mumbled.
"Better put on some sun screen." I winked as I went to answer the knock at the door. When I opened it a shirtless, muscular, naturally tan green eyed man smiled back at me. His light grey swim trunks with black pinstripes emphasized his tan. Mmm…
"Hi." I breathed.
"Oh come on! Why is he naked?" Dean groaned as Sam forced him to put sunscreen on his face.
"Uh. I'm not." Judson said leaning around me to an irritated Dean.
"Can we just go now!"
"You need a hand there?" He asked Sam stepping past me. Sam happily offered him some of the items he was carrying.
"Thanks man."
"Okay lets go!" I said rushing out the door and over to the elevators, bouncing in front of them waiting for the doors to open, once they did I pranced on and quickly hit the button, hardly giving the boys the chance to get on. The ride down was short and sweet, and once he hit the lobby I was out the back door in three short strides, past the pool deck and down the wooden steps into the sand. As soon as I hit it I reached down and took off my shoes, turning and tossing them to Dean who caught them deftly. He smiled and turned, walking to the edge of the water slowly, letting my feet drag through the warm sand. I reached the bottom where the sand became cooler and more pact as the waves brushed over it. The sand moved underneath my feet with each wave. I closed my eyes and lifted my arms, feeling the breeze blow my long hair behind me.
Until something splashed me, I gasped and looked to my left where Sam was laughing and Dean was running backwards into the water.
"You ass!" I giggled as I chased after him. The water was cool and salty, refreshing to my skin. Dean laughed as he ran from me, but I stayed close on his tail, until someone from behind swept me up and threw me into the water.
"Sammy!" I squealed. He and Dean high-fived and I continued to chase the two of them, then them chasing me.
When we'd had our fill I ran back to the shore and collapsed onto my towel, breathing heavily. I looked up for Judson, and found him at the bar in the hotel pool deck. Go figure.
While the boys continued to splash around I made my way up to the bar. Judson sat on the stool, his back turned to me. I slowly snuck up behind him, and just before I reached him he laughed.
"I can hear you." He said turning to face me.
"Why are you not down here with me?" I asked pulling him off the stool.
"Because I was enjoying a stiff drink, good bartender."
"Well come enjoy it down here in the sand." I said still pulling him towards me.
"You are such a goofball." He said rolling his eyes.
"Yeah yeah." I said as I reached our beach chairs and plopped down onto one, Judson on the seat next to me. I watched as Sam walked out of the water and made his way over to us.
"Hey."
"Hey asshole." I said towel popping him before he sat down, he narrowly dodged me with a smile.
"How's the bar?" He asked Judson.
"Very good."
"Where's De?" I asked noticing he wasn't in the water.
"I'll give you one guess." Sam said using his eyes to point past Judson and I. I turned my head and found a shirtless Dean, chest puffed out, standing amongst a group of 3 or 4 girls. All Big boobs, fake tans, and the little bikinis he would murder me for wearing.
"He is something else." I said shaking my head.
"He's Dean."
"True."
"So what's the plan for tonight?" Judson asked.
"Hmm… dinner at some ridiculously popular tourist restaurant that everyone buys a tshirt at." I shrugged.
"Sounds good." Sam laughed. "I could go for some fresh seafood."
"Sam. You would go for anything that didn't come out of a minimart or a diner."
We all laughed and watched as Dean struck gold, the girls using a marker to write down their numbers on his hand. He reached out and put his arms around two of them at a time… What. A. Dog.
"You wanna go play?" I asked Judson.
"And do what love?"
"Just be in the ocean with me." I smiled.
"Okay." He caved and stood, reaching out his hand. I took it and let him pull me up. Then as he turned towards the water I jumped on his back. Letting him drag us into the ocean, to swim, and look for shells, you know… typical non hunter regular people fun things.
Normal.
Normal people things.
…..
"Crab legs?" I asked with my eyebrows raised. "Is there even meat inside of those things?"
"Yes." Sam laughed. "There's meat in the legs and claw."
"So… Those aren't made of bones?"
"No. Here, I'll order them and you can try some of mine."
I winked at Sam before turning to face Judson. "What are you getting?" I asked him.
"Surf and turf. Best of both worlds."
"Yummm… I think I might join you. Steak and shrimp."
"Its nice out here, huh?" He said as he looked up and out to the ocean. Over half the restaurants have outside seating that overlooks some sort of ocean, and its pretty much amazing in the evening. Just warm enough not to get a chill, but the breeze keeps you cool. The sun starting to set on the horizon.
"Its more than nice… beautiful!" I said as I leaned in and kissed him.
Dean made a large gagging noise, I broke away and shot him bitchface. Throwing my straw wrapper at his face, he narrowly dodged it.
"Fine beach playboy. What are you getting for dinner?"
"Duh. Sea Steak Burger!"
"… Dean. We're at the beach and you still get a damn burger?"
"Hey. Its an all sirloin patty topped with grilled shrimp! Its beach-y!"
"Whatever!" I laughed. "So how long are we staying for?"
"I don't know… a few days at least. Enough time to reset. Sleep. Relax. Maybe catch a few beach bunnies." Dean winked.
"You're gross."
"Says the spit swap queen."
"Grow up!"
"Are we ready to order?" The waitress asked as she came around. She took our order and then gave into Dean's cheesy pick up line which cost her another five minutes at our table as they bantered back and forth.
"Hey." Judson nudged me. "I have a question."
"What?"
"Will you go on a date with me?"
His words caught me by surprise.
"Are you serious?"
"Yes, Em. I am… come out with me. Just the two of us. No research, no stake outs, no work. Just you and me, and night out on the town."
I smiled so wide I thought my cheeks my split in half.
"Okay. Yes. Judson Smith. I'll go out with you."
He leaned in and kissed me again, but then something small and cold hit my face. I looked up and this time it was Sam, preparing to throw another ice cube at my face.
"It's bad enough listening to our brother, don't make me watch that." He mumbled as he leaned in to speak to me. I chuckled but caved in and scooted away from Judson for the time being. Sam and I took turns playing table football with a folded up ad that was left on the table.
"Food!" Dean grinned causing us all to look up, the plates were large and full, the plates extravagant and colorful, but really all I cared about what that juicy medium rare steak this lady laid in front of me. Grilled shrimp laid against it on the side and my mouth watered at the thought.
"Is this fixing to be a Cheesecake Factory repeat?" Judson leaned over and asked me.
"Hell yes!"
"Wait- when did you go to the Cheesecake Factory?" Dean asked with a slightly disappointed look on his face.
"Oh. Well… Um. It was a while back. When I had run off to see Luke. Judson was just trying to cheer me up… sorry De." I shrugged guiltily.
"Well, how was it?"
"Um." I chuckled. "We ordered one slice of every flavor they had… it was a big overboard but it was soooo good Dean! I'll take you there sometime."
"Deal." He said as he lifted his burger to his mouth and took a bite, moaning disgustingly as he chewed.
"Dean. We all have to eat here." Sam said scalding him. I cut into my juicy steak and it was PERFECT. I took the first bite and could have gone into a food orgasm. Why haven't we been to the beach before?!
"Alright Em. Jump in." Sam said handing me a crab leg and something that resembled a nut cracker.
"Uh… what the hell do I do with it?"
"Crack it open… the meat is on the inside."
"Um… okay." I said grabbing the leg. It felt odd in my hand, but my curiosity pushed me on. I put the cracker thingy around it and broke the hard leg open. There was meat inside, but I couldn't get to it. Sam saw me struggling and handed me a tiny fork. I was able to easily pull the meat out and I put a large piece in my mouth hesitantly. Sam's eyes were on me and the corner of his lips turned up. He watched as I chewed and my facial expression stayed puzzled.
"I don't know if I like it." I finally admitted.
"Well if you don't like it here you won't like it anywhere else. You'll never find fresh crab but on the coast. So don't bother trying it anywhere else."
I picked up another piece and put it in my mouth. Chewing slowly.
"Is meat supposed to have a sweet taste to it?" I asked turning to face Dean.
"I don't know. I don't care. All I want to do is eat this burger forever." He answered as he slowly and disgustingly chewed his food.
"I'm going to remain undecided on the issue." I confessed as I handed everything back to Sam and returned to my steak. I moved to itch my nose, then smelt it.
"Ew!... is that my hands?" I said smelling them again and cringing.
"Yeah. Eating crab makes your hands stink." Judson shrugged.
"Ugh." I gagged. "I'm gonna go wash them."
"Won't help." Sam admitted. "Lemon juice will cut the smell but that's about it."
"Ughhhh… why didn't you just do it for me?!"
"Where's the fun in that?" He winked to me.
…
I rolled over on the bed and morning light touched my skin. I instantly remembered where I was and quickly climbed out of the bed and moved to sit outside on the balcony. The warm ocean breeze. The empty beach below the balcony. I sat in the chair and watched as the waves crashed softly against the shore line.
"Hey." Sam said coming outside to sit beside me. Handing me a half full cup of coffee to hold.
"Thanks." I smiled.
"Man its nice out here."
"Yeah. It is."
"I'm glad we came Em. I was kinda against it, but. It was a good idea. I think we all need this."
"Yeah. Me too… Hey Sam."
"Yeah?"
"Can I ask you something?"
"Sure Em. Anything."
"What went through your head. When you left. When you saw that I called… over and over."
"Emily. There are things I could say to try and make excuses, but the truth is there isn't any. I was. I was messed up kiddo. I was lost, and I was confused, and I made bad choices. Over and over again. I just. I thought if I just kept what was behind me behind me then I couldn't do any more damage."
"… So you were going to leave me behind?"
"Em I didn't mean it like that…"
"But you were?" I asked looking him in the eye.
"Yeah. Maybe. I don't know."
"… How?"
"How what?"
"How can you just… cut us off. So easily. SO quickly. I mean. Not just once but twice now, you were just. Okay leaving me in the past? I mean. Do you want to be with Dean and I? Do you want to be a part of this family?"
"Of course I do, Em. I love you. So much… things just. Got complicated. Both times it had nothing to do with you."
"But both times I became collateral damage." I said getting up and going back inside. Slamming the glass door behind me.
I don't understand how I became so expendable to him? Why am I not important enough to him? What could be out there in life that is so much more important than his family… I went back to my room and quickly changed into my swimsuit, taking my towel and sunglasses and walking my way out onto the mostly empty beach.
I laid out my towel and stretched out under the sun, letting the warmth heat my back, I picked at grains of sand and broken shell pieces in silence until foot steps moved behind me.
"Really? We come all the way out to the beach and you two still fight?" Dean asked laying out next to me.
"… I'm sorry De."
"Don't be kiddo. What happened?"
"I asked him why."
"Oh."
"Yeah…"
"And I'm guessing the answer you got wasn't what you wanted."
"Why aren't we enough for him De?" I finally whispered after swallowing around the lump in my throat.
"I don't know Em. I think he's always been kind of a wanderer ya know? The grass is greener on the other side kinda guy. Until he gets there and realizes maybe its not."
"Or maybe he doesn't love us."
"Oh stop it." He sighed. "You know he does, Em. He just has a funny way of showing it."
"You can say that again."
"So. Whats going on with today?"
"Um. I don't really have plans… except for tonight."
"WHats going on tonight?"
I grinned widely.
"Judson asked me out on a date."
"Well then. What's the big plan?"
"I don't know. I didn't ask. I just said yes, I'm kinda nervous if I'm being honest."
"Why?" Dean snorted. "The guy cleaned your puke up."
I threw sand at him.
"Gee Dean. Thanks. I had almost forgotten about that."
"Well. It's true."
"Well. You're an ass. And I don't know why."
"Well don't be. The guys toughed it out this long. He'll still be around after tonight."
"… I really love him De."
"Love?"
"Yeah. Love. I mean. I can't think of another way to explain it… It physically hurts to think about losing him. I can't wait to be around him. I'm comfortable with him. I trust him… h's good to me De."
"Yeah. He is mostly… I gotta give ya that one."
"Are you ever going to be okay with me having a boyfriend?"
"Probably not." He admitted with a smirk. "Just as long as you know you're my little girl no matter what boyfriend you do or don't have, or how old you get. You still got me kiddo."
"I love you De."
"I love you too, Kiddo."
…
"Dean!" I yelled through the open bathroom door. "De! Please!"
"What?!" He groaned coming around the corner.
"Help me." I pouted.
"With what Em?"
"I can't curl the back piece."
"Whoa… no." He said walking away from me.
"Wait no! Dean come back!" I whined.
"Uh.. I can help. Jess made me do it a couple of times." Sam offered, coming up behind me.
"Okay." I agreed not making eye contact. I turned to face away from the mirror, so I didn't have to look at him while he took the iron and curled the back few strands of my hair.
"You look beautiful Em."
"Its just a sun dress."
"Well. Its beautiful on you. Really. Looks like you got some nice sun today."
"Yeah. It was nice."
"So… got any big plans for the evening?"
"Not really." I shrugged. "Just gonna go wherever he takes me."
"I know… you guys have been together for a while, and Dean and I aren't stupid but-"
"Are you seriously fixing to try and have the talk with me right now?"
"Emily please… just be smart. Okay?"
"I'm not stupid Sam. Neither is he."
"Don't let Dean find out… or he'll flip his lid."
"Yeah. Maybe because he actually cares."
"Em." Sam sighed. "Don't do this. Please. I want us to be good."
"I want you to want to be with us…"
"I'm here! Right now I'm standing here in the bathroom curling your hair! Do you think I would be here doing this if I didn't want to be?!"
"… Okay."
"Em." He said putting down the iron on the counter and spinning me to look at him. "I'm sorry sweetheart. I didn't mean to say it like that, I love you. So much. I do want to be with you guys. I just… get a little lost sometimes."
"… It hurts."
"I know it does Em. I'm sorry."
"Are we done?" I asked dipping my head downwards.
"Yeah. You're all good."
"Thanks."
"Hey." He said tipping my chin back up. "Have fun tonight. You deserve it."
He kissed my forehead and walked out. I finished touching up my make up and jumped slightly as there was a knock at the door.
"Bye!" I yelled briefly as I went to open it.
"BE BACK BY 1 AND DON'T HAVE SEX!" Dean yelled on my way to the door.
"Yeah yeah." I groaned as I pulled it open.
My breath was suddenly knocked out of my body at the sight of him. Forest green tshirt under his black button up, dark wash jeans, hair flipped to the side like I love and dammit those eyes! They get me every single fucking time!
"Hi." He smiled. His eyes moved up and down the black flowy sundress with white trim.
"Hi." I breathed as I stepped out and pulled the door closed behind me.
"You look beautiful." He said as he leaned in and kissed me.
"You look hot." I smirked.
"Alright lets go." He said as he playfully rolled his eyes.
"Where are we going?" I asked as he ushered us towards the elevators.
"You'll see."
"Ohh, mystery man tonight are we?"
"Its more fun that way."
"Yeah yeah." I said as I pressed the elevator button. Once we were down to the lobby he escorted me to the parking lot, where I stopped dead in my tracks.
"OH please… please say we get to take this." I said staring at the motorcycle parked right by the front door. He smiled and handed me a helmet from the back of the bike. I grinned uncontrollably as I put it on and clicked the chin strap, He did the same with his and straddled the bike, straightening it out so that I could climb onto the back easier in my dress. I threw one leg over, and settled with my body flush against his.
"You ready baby?"
"I think so." I breathed, excitement flooding my body. He revved the engine slightly and then it jumped to life and we took off. It was exhilarating, the way we cut through the sea breeze blowing in from the coast, the I just somehow knew to move when he did. My heart was thudding so hard I swear he can probably feel it against his back.
We cruised along the street, the orangey-pink glow across the sky lit up the boardwalk area ahead of us like fireworks and Christmas lights all in one. It was beautiful. Judson drove us down to the end of the pier area and parked, I'm assuming so we could walk for a while.
"So. First time on a bike?" He asked as he helped me off.
"Yes. It was amazing! Why have we not done that before?"
"Because your brothers would have killed me."
"Where the hell did you get it? Its not yours."
"Rental place on the strip, all you gotta do is show a license."
"Nice. So where are we going now?"
"Do you trust me?" He asked.
"I think by now you already know the answer to that."
"… Emily."
"Yes. I trust you."
He extended his hand to me and didn't say another word. I followed as he pulled me up and down the pier strip, stopping at shops, and stores that caught my eye. Letting me shop for silly souvenirs and trinkets. As we got closer to the end of the boardwalk the shops turned into restaurants, which is where Judson pulled me aside and onto the terrace of one particular small place.
The umbrellas over the tables were all red, and hung white lights from them. It overlooked the ocean and I could feel the breeze blow against my face occasionally. He sat us at a table with three small candles lit in the center.
"Jud, this is beautiful."
"Not as beautiful as you."
I blushed, and pinned my hair behind my ear.
"Where's the menus?" I asked noting every table except ours had them.
"I already ordered for us."
"Wait, what?"
"It's ordered. Appetizer should be around with drinks at any moment."
"Wow, you really are mysterious tonight, aren't you?"
"You like it, don't even lie."
"Never said I didn't." I smiled.
Momentarily a large shrimp cocktail in a fancy martini glass hit the table, along with it were cheddar biscuits and two glasses of white whine, sweet and crisp.
"So what's my glass limit tonight? Cause this stuff is amazing."
"I think you should keep to just a few, don't want you finding any monsters."
"Oh. Ha. Ha. Very funny."
"Two. There's more where that came from if you still want some later."
"Well then I'll just sip for now."
"Probably a good idea, lightweight."
"Eh. Guilty as charged." I shrugged setting the glass down. "I think I owe you an apology."
"For what?" He asked confused.
"For everything. I mean… I've not made life easy for you. And yet you're still here, sticking it out. You really have no idea how much that means to me. I couldn't have survived these last six months without you. I really owe you my life."
"No Em, I should apologize. I mean. I let things get out of hand, and then I was really harsh when I tried to straighten them back out. I shoulda handled shit differently."
"I don't think I left you much choice Jud. I mean I was a handful and a half. Hell not even Dean himself would've been able to reign my crazy ass back in at that point."
"Well… we're here now. That's all that matters."
"I love you."
"I love you too."
We continued our dinner, a lovely pasta plate and of course cheesecake for dessert. Two spoons, even though Judson let me eat more than half of it. We laughed, we joked, we talked about the chances of seeing a shark on the beach. It was nice not to discuss demons, and cross roads deals, no research or thinking. Just… natural conversation. Just me and him.
"You ready to go?"
"Yeah, are we headed home?"
"Nope. I just… need to know if you are ready for the next stop."
"There's more?" I asked with my eyebrows raised.
"Of course there is."
"Wow we're really going all out tonight."
"Nah, just figured that me, you, and a moonlit walk on the beach might top off the night."
"I'd love that."
….
"So do you think we'll get to ever do this again?" I asked as we walked, dangling my flip flops in on hand and Judson's fingers entwined in the other as the waves rolled in and out over our feet in the wet sand.
"I don't know. I mean if we really wanted to there's no reason we couldn't."
"Yeah. Our lives are so hectic though. I mean realistically- who's to say we'll even be alive to do this again in a year or so."
"Hey. Don't talk like that." He said pulling me into his arms. "I'd never let anything happen to you."
"I know. But… I wouldn't want to come back here without you."
"Just cause I'm gonna save your ass doesn't mean I'm gonna die doing it babe."
"I just… I feel like this is one of those crazy once in a life time experiences ya know?"
"But it doesn't have to be. People take vacations here yearly. They go all the time. We could too if you wanted to. We could do whatever you want."
"I just want to hold you." I mumbled as I leaned into him and squeezed him to me. "I love you."
"I love you too." He said squeezing me back and kissing the top of my head.
We continued walking until we made it back to the pier, underneath it were strong wooden posts and boards holding it all together, stained from where the salt water had washed over it again and again. It was beautiful. Magical almost... I ran my hands down it and got an idea.
"Hey." I said catching Judson's attention. "You gotta knife?"
"You don't?" He asked me surprised.
"No weapons tonight. I wanted to just be a normal girl on a date." I admitted sheepishly. He chuckled and stepped up to me, handing me his pocket knife. I carved our names into the post, and then the date. Marking our territory. Making sure that this place would never forget us just like I'd never forget it. I don't know how to explain the way the ocean makes you feel.
At peace? Hopeful?
And then Judson's hands hit my waist and a completely different feeling takes over. I leaned up and kissed him, biting at his lip, letting his tongue glide against mine. His hands bunched my dress up at my hips and once he had a good reach on it he pulled up, and suddenly there was sea breeze against my bare back. I reached up and began unbuttoning his shirt. Pulling it off of his shoulders in one swift motion. Then his tshirt… then his belt.
He pulled me closer to the bank, where we could be hidden from any other late night beach goers, and those walking the pier above us. I unbuttoned his jeans and let him walk out of them as we moved. Once to a safe spot he flipped us and gently laid me on the ground, his body hovering over mine.
He leaned down and in one swift motion my bra was sliding off to the side. His mouth exploring my bare chest slowly, intimately.
The butterflies in my stomach stayed low until now, I had been here before, we'd taken it this far, but I'd never let us get any father. I'd always been too afraid. Afraid of losing him. Afraid he'd be done with me. Afraid I'd disappoint him… and now those fear strike me again once I realize this is it. There won't be any stopping myself tonight. I shuddered as a chill quickly flashed through me. Squirming under him.
"You okay?" He asked.
I nodded, but didn't answer, afraid my voice would betray me.
"Em… what's wrong."
"Nothing." I smiled weakly.
"Hey, talk to me babe. We don't have to do this."
"No no no, please… I don't wanna stop."
"Well what's wrong?"
"I. I've only ever done this a couple times before… and the first one was really bad. So if it's not good then please do me a favor and lie, because I really want to be good for you."
He laughed.
"Emily." He whispered in my ear as he nibbled against it.
"Yes?" I breathed.
"Relax… you're perfect."
"I.. I. Okay." I finally swallowed as the way his hands grazed my rib cage settled my nerves. It was like his touch calmed me, spread a sense of self confidence and peace. I began to melt under him, becoming lax and pliant, moving my body with his.
His mouth moved its way further and further down my body until it reached it's destination. I slightly lifted my hips as he slid my underwear over my hips and off my ankles. My body begged in ways I'd never felt before as his face moved farther away, then grew with excitement when it moved towards me again.
I never knew a sensation so foreign could feel so amazing. I grabbed onto his hair and put my arm over my mouth. Biting down when I got the urge to scream out. My legs started to shake uncontrollably and then this explosion of pleasure and surge of heat ran through me.
Then it all fell slowly, like a feather falling to the ground, ending softly, leaving me craving more.
"You okay up there?" He teased as he kissed my inner thighs.
"Yeah. I. I… I'm great." I breathed coming back down. I didn't even realize how or when it happened but his boxers were off, and fuck he was amazing. Toned, and tan, and even better then I imagined he would be fully naked. He moved to hover over me and my legs locked around his hips, he pushed slowly, and at that moment I leaned forward and bit into his shoulder blade. His moan in my ear was enough to almost make me hit my climax all over again. But I held back as he moved, deeper and deeper with each thrust.
His lips moved against mine, and the taste was erotic. I couldn't get enough of him. I was pulling, grinding, holding, squeezing. Any part of him I could get to I wanted to claim.
We continued like this for who knows how long, when something feels that good you don't count the minutes, but then he began to move faster, and faster, and I could tell we were both fixing to hit our limitations, he reached down with his hand and with only one touch my back arched up off of the sand and he made one particularly hard thrust before pausing, and moving extremely slow, biting his lip.
His body separated from mine, and we both laid in the sand. Panting.
"That… was…" I tried to speak between breaths.
"So fucking good." He finished for me. I merely nodded in agreeance. My body spent and resting as my endorphins circulated. I knew sex felt good… but I never knew it could feel THAT good.
"I don't know why the hell we waited that long to do this."
"Me neither." He sighed. Then he rolled over and pulled me against him.
"You're covered in sand." I said as his body moved against mine, gritty sand between our skin.
"I gotta pretty good idea on how to get rid of it." He smiled.
"Oh?"
Then he stood, and stark naked ran into the water. At first I was stunned, then worried someone would see, but then my excitement overcame me and I ran in after him. Jumping onto his back once I was close enough, and then knocking us both down into the water.
We played, and kissed, and swam, and laid on the shore with the waves rolling over us.
It was perfect.
He was perfect.
Everything was perfect.
…..
I kissed Judson goodnight and slowly slipped my keycard into the slot, hoping the boys would be asleep, but knowing they were probably both up still. I'm only a half hour past curfew, and they didn't call… so mayyybe.
I slipped into the room and slowly shut the door behind me. Then I leaned against, back flat against the cold door. Smiling. Uncontrollably smiling like an idiot.
That's when two head poked out from around the corner and began to stare at me. My face fell from a smile to a deer caught in the headlights.
"Well… You certainly look happy." Dean said crossing his arms and standing in front of me. Sam leaned against the wall and rolled his eyes. "What did you do tonight?"
"Dean. Do you really want her to answer that question?" Sam warned him.
"Yes." He said without hesitation.
"We walked the pier, and the boardwalk, and had a nice romantic dinner, and then walked along the beach, and went for a late night swim." I said crossing my arms and stepping toe to toe with Dean.
"… Swimming."
"Yup." I said popping the P.
He suddenly turned to face Sam.
"SHE HAD SEX AND I'M BLAMING YOU!" He screamed.
"What?! How in the hell is this my fault!" Sam argued back.
"YOU were the last one to talk to her before you left! You didn't scare her enough!"
"Dean! She's almost 18! And she's done it before, so we KNEW she would do it again!
"Not necessarily!"
"YOU raised her Dean! She takes after YOU- so if this is anyone's fault its yours!"
"Okay… I'm done with this." I mumbled. Amidst their arguing I was able to sneak past them and into the bathroom for a shower. I let the water rid my body of the sand still hiding in all the wrong places, and washed the sea salt out of my hair before heading to bed, the boys must already be there because I don't hear them arguing again. When I walked out I noticed they weren't anywhere in the room. I walked out on the balcony, and spotted them down in the sand, both perched in a beach chair, sipping on a beer. I pulled on a small jacket and grabbed a rootbeer before heading out the door to join them.
"Hey. Move over." I said moving to sit between them. Sam moved one chair to the left, leaving Dean to my right. I tipped my drink with each of theirs, and we stared as the waves moved closer and then farther from us.
"I'd like to propose something." Dean suddenly spoke up. Sam and I turned to look at him in interest. "This washes the slate clean… for all of us. No more harboring hard feelings, no more holding grudges, no more blaming each other. What's behind us, is behind us, and we can't change it. So when we leave here and get back out on the road we get to start fresh."
Sam and I looked at each other for a moment, then I looked up at Dean, and as if reading my mind he nodded. Signaling that he really wanted this. He wanted us to all forget everything, which isn't a typical Dean move. I was kinda surprised by it all actually.
"Okay." I agreed.
"I'm down." Sam added. So then we sat back in the chair, toes in the sand, drink in my hand. And let it all wash away.