Author's Note: Well guys, I had been sitting on that one for a while… so I was SUPER excited to get it out to you… now comes the after math! Please READ and REVIEW! I LOVE YOU ALL!
"What are you doing?" I giggled as Judson slid into the bed behind me. His warmth covering my bare back.
"Mmmm… I missed you baby." He hummed into my ear. His lips trailing down my neck. I laced our fingers as his arms encased me.
I felt the warmth, the love… the heat between us. The tension that builds as his body rubs against mine.
"Have I told you lately how beautiful you are?" He whispered. I turned and kissed him. Lips molding together.
"Not enough." I teased him.
"Well you are the most beautiful girl in the world."
"You're blind."
"You're stubborn."
"You taste good." I laughed as I kissed him again.
"What have we here?" A voice called in the dark, a voice that stopped me dead in my tracks. Uriel.
"What the hell are you doing here?!" I shrieked, using Judson to cover my naked body.
"One abomination lying with another… disgusting." He hissed.
"Judson, what is he talking about?" I turned and asked him. He only stared at me, his eyes no longer bright green, but dull and heavy. Red rims released a single tear.
"I'm sorry…"
A pot hole in the road jolted me out of the dream and back into the even colder world of reality. When I did the lights in the car lit up, and just as quickly dimmed. Another 'surge' I've triggered. They've been happening a lot since the other night… I'm trying to get ahold on things but, sometimes I can't.
I shivered against the cool leather of the back seat. As I inhaled my stomach flopped, and when I exhaled it rolled in nausea. Not that it hasn't been doing that for the last few days. Every time he pops into my head it happens. Every time I close my eyes and see his, my heart caves in on itself, the aching throb back again.
"You up kiddo?" Dean asked from the front seat, knowing I was from the flashing of the lights.
"I wouldn't be if you knew how to avoid potholes."
"Sorry Em, why don't you try and go back to sleep for a while." Sam offered.
"Can't. I'm up now… what are you doing?"
"Deans pestering me about finding a job."
"Oh. Good."
"God you two are the same person sometimes I swear…" Sam mumbled.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Dean asked with mild offense.
"It means neither of you can face your problems…"
"Sure we can. We just choose not to." I shrugged.
"We could always take a day off. We just finished a case like four hours ago."
"Stratton, Nebraska. Farm town. A man gets hacked to death in a locked room inside a locked house. No signs of forced entry." Dean began to talk, getting Sam off the subject of taking a break.
"Sounds like a ghost." I mumbled.
"Yes, it does." Sam sighed as he flopped over against the window.
"How much longer till we're there."
"About six hours." Dean answered.
I stared out the dark window. It was rainy… not a star in the sky, just wet slick black pavement ahead and behind us.
"You okay?" He asked quietly as the silence dragged on.
"Yes."
"… Sure. Me too."
"Sure."
…..
"Boy, three bedrooms, two baths, and one homicide. This place is gonna sell like hotcakes." Dean smiled as we walked into the kitchen of the old large home.
"Hey, check this out." I called as I knocked on a hollow piece in the wall. "What do you think this means?"
"It's probably a dumbwaiter. All these old houses had them."
"Know-it-all." Dean mumbled.
"What?" Sam asked having not heard him, but thinking maybe he had.
"What?"
"You said..."
"What?"
"Never mind."
I rolled my eyes… idiots. Then I left the room and began to wander up the stairs. It's weird almost, hunting with just my brothers again. Knowing that it's back to just the three of us… I forget that now we can no longer split off two and two to cover each other.
I stood in the doorway of the bed room at the end of the hall on the second floor, staring out the window, down at the impala where it sat in the driveway. I could see him, and myself. Leaned against the back of the trunk, entangled in one another. Laughing, smiling.
"Well, no bloodstains, fresh coat of paint, it's a bunch of bubkes." Dean's voice caused me to jump.
"Needle's all over the place." Sam said as he lifted the EMF into the air.
"Yeah—power lines." I said nodding out the window.
"Great."
Dean walked over and opened up the closet door.
"Uhhh…"
I turned my attention over to him, he and Sam stood in the doorway. I walked over to join them and found a dirty tattered doll head sitting in the floor.
"That's fucking creepy."
"Think it got left behind?" Sam asked.
"By who? Unless Bill Gibson likes to play with doll heads." Dean answered.
I opened my mouth to answer who's it could have been when the sound of tires coming down the road caught our attention. A car followed by a moving van continued towards the house.
"I thought you said this place was still up for sale." I said turning to Dean.
"Thought it was." He shrugged.
"Apparently, it's not." I sighed. "You two handle this shit… I'm waiting inside."
I watched discreetly from the down stairs window as Sam and Dean both went outside, flashing badges, telling lies… same ole story, different town.
My phone began to buzz in my back pocket. I pulled it out and held my breath as my eyes read the name. Judson. I held it until the buzzing stopped, watching the screen go dark. Then it rang again…
I've only gone through these motions a hundred times. At least it feels that way. Everything in me screams 'answer the fucking phone' because I'm dying to hear his voice. But that part of me that lays on the ground in pieces stops me. It stops me from speaking to him because its afraid of being further damaged.
I miss him.
But I shouldn't.
It began to buzz again, this time my grip faltered and it crashed to the ground. I leaned down to pick it up, but someone's hand beat me. Dean's.
He picked up the phone and took one look at it, then at me. I pulled my gaze to the floor before he could see the pain in them.
He hit the small green button on the left and held it to his ear.
"Stop calling asswipe, or I'll beat the shit out of you- again."
He didn't wait for a reply, he didn't wait to hear his voice beg to talk to me… he just hung it up, and handed the phone back to me. I took it and lifted my hands to my mouth, a nervous habit.
"Hey. Look at me." Dean said putting a hand on either shoulder. I tried to pull away gently but he just clung harder.
"What?" I sighed as I looked anywhere but directly at him.
"Emily… look at me."
I surrendered.
"He doesn't get to talk to you. He doesn't get to say sorry anymore, or play games. You deserve more than that. You don't have to do this, we can change your number."
"Dean. He works with angels. A new phone number isn't going to stop him from reaching out."
"Just because he reaches out does not mean you have to answer, okay?"
"I haven't." I whispered as I shrugged out of his grip and crossed my arms.
"Do you want to?"
"I just wanna work the case. Please."
Dean nodded and pulled me into him before kissing the top of my head and leading me back out to the impala. I know that he's focused on me so that he doesn't have to be focused on himself and his own shit right now… but sometimes I just wish I had space.
…
"What did the room look like when you found it, Mrs. Curry?" Sam asked as we sat on the front porch of the house keeper's home.
"I already told the local boys, there was blood everywhere."
"And Mr. Gibson—where was he?" I added.
"Everywhere."
"How long have you been cleaning Mr. Gibson's house?"
"About five years."
"So you knew him pretty well." I assumed.
"Well, not really well. He was real private. Not the easiest man. Not that I blame him."
"What do you mean?" Sam asked her.
"His wife dies in childbirth. Daughter hangs herself in the attic twenty years later. I'd be bitter, too. I think I got some pictures." The woman went inside to rummage through her things.
"You good Em?"
"I'm fine Sam, just trying to work."
"C'mon… don't lie to me."
"Can we not do this right now?" I asked as I caught her walking back towards the door through my peripheral vision.
"Here." She said handing Sam the photos.
"Thanks. Can we keep these?"
"Suit yourself."
"Now, why'd the daughter kill herself?" I asked.
"I don't know. That was before my time."
"Did you ever notice anything odd in the house when you were cleaning it?"
"Like what?"
"Like, you know, like lights going on and off, things not being where you left them."
"No. Well, maybe there was one thing."
"What's that?" Sam leaned in towards her.
"Well, sometimes, I thought I heard like a...rustling in the walls."
"Like a rat?"
"Yeah."
"Must have been some big sons of guns out there, huh?" Sam joked.
"Wouldn't know. Never saw any."
"Do you happen to know where Mrs. Gibson and her daughter were buried?" I asked.
"They were both cremated."
Fuck.
"Thank you for all your help, we'll be in touch." I smiled as I stood and shook her hand, Sam followed and opened the door for me as I climbed in the passenger seat.
"All right. So it probably wasn't the mom or the daughter. Whose ghost was it?" I asked.
"I don't know… I think we should go back and see if we can get them to make an appearance."
"We should pick up Dean first."
"Yeah, I just texted him. He's showering at the motel."
"Okay." I said leaning back against the seat closing my eyes.
"How long are you going to keep this going."
"Keep what going?" I sighed.
"Sweetheart, I know you. I see it, and I don't want you to hide it from me. I know what he did was… I could literally kill him, Em. Okay, so walking around acting like it doesn't hurt. It's not doing you any good."
"What would you rather have me do Sam? Lay on the floor and cry like I want to? Wallow. Mope around in a fucking pity party? He hurt me. But I am still here… you and Dean are still here. I've survived worse and I'm tired of falling apart! I'm tired of being weak and some form of an emotional bomb just waiting to go off… I just. Want to hunt."
Sam didn't say anything in reply, instead he reached out and put his arm over the back of the seat. I slid over a few inches, placing myself under it, and rode the rest of the way in silence.
…
(THIRD PERSON POV)
The motel door opened and Emily was the first one through it.
"Hey." Dean called from the small table where he was on the laptop. Without a reply she walked past him and straight into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. Dean jumped slightly as it closed.
"What the hell was that?" Dean asked as Sam came in and shut the door behind him.
"I don't know." Sam sighed. "I just… thought maybe I could get her to talk to me."
"Well. That seems to have gone really well." Dean mumbled sarcastically.
"Well at least I tried to talk to her Dean!"
"She's not ready yet…"
"So what, we let her walk around like nothings happened until she snaps?"
"When the time comes… she'll talk. She'll cry. She'll wallow for a while."
"And when is that gonna happen?"
"I don't know Sam… But it will happen when it happens, and until then we just stand by and wait."
"Dean, she's going to lose it!"
"Yeah. She is… regardless of what we do, or say, or how much we try to push her to talk about it all. She is going to be a mess, so why push her?"
"I swear." Sam shook his head. "I wish I could just kill him."
"Trust me… I almost did."
"Why do you think they sent some kid to spy on us?"
"Wish I knew. Next time we bump into them I'll be sure to ask… but so far they've not made any appearances. Other than shit head blowing up her phone."
"We should just take it away."
"No. Bad idea… she'll just feel like we're pulling her away from him."
"Isn't that what she wants?"
"No." Dean said confidently. "She still talks about him in her sleep…"
"I don't get it man."
"I don't either Sammy… but there's not much we can do about it till she's ready to tell us."
"Great… so what, back to the house for now?"
"Yup. I'll get her." Dean said as he stood and walked over to the bathroom, knocking on the door. "Hey. We're rolling back to the house."
"Coming." She said back hesitantly. She stood over the sink, staring at her reflection. Wondering if the things he said about her were ever true… or were they just part of the plan.
…
(EMILY'S POV)
"… Is that a fucking moving van?" I asked as we came over the hill towards the farm house.
"Fuck." Dean groaned. "Stupid stupid stupid people!"
"They probably realized we weren't really from the county." Sam sighed.
"So what do we do now?" I asked.
"I don't know… see what we can scope out from here." Dean said as he discreetly parked behind the large moving truck and we all got out and began to walk to edge of the property. There were lights on inside the house, so we knew they were still awake for now, means no snooping inside the house.
"De. We may just be SOL on this one."
"We can't leave them in there to die Em."
"I know… Its just that this shit just got about ten times more complicated."
"Yeah. It did."
Just then screams began in the house, we exchanged a quick look and then began to run towards the door, Sam meeting us halfway in the yard from where he had been looking on the opposite side of the property.
Dean knocked rapidly on the door, and when it opened we moved inside.
"We heard screams. What's going on?" Dean asked taking in the sight of the family all standing at the bottom of the stairwell, the kids looked freaked.
"Oh, you two! Did you touch my daughter?!" The dad demaned. "And who the hell is she?"
"What? No!" Dean quickly answered.
"Who are you guys?" The other gentleman asked in a not so friendly manner.
"Relax, please. You have a ghost." Sam said frankly.
"A ghost." He scoffed.
"I told you!" The girl screamed, then her brother nodded.
"It's the girl!" He explained.
"Both of you, relax." The dad told them before turning to us. "What are you guys playing?"
"Look. My name is Emily. My brothers and I do this for a living, we are telling you that your family's in danger. You need to get out of the house now. Please." I told him rationally, as he went to speak the lights cut off in the house.
"What the hell?" Someone mumbled.
"Nobody move!" Dean demanded. Just then there were cries and barking from a dog.
"Buster!" The young boy screamed as he bolted outside, everyone quick to follow him.
"Buster! Buster? Buster! Buster!" The dad yelled frantically before we found the moving van with the words 'too late' painted on in in blood… what I could only assume to be dog's blood since the barking has long ceased.
"What the hell?" One of the men yelled.
"Buster!" The little boy cried out.
"Go back inside. Go!" The dad demanded.
"We are not the bad guys, but you're in danger." Dean stopped him as he went to walk past us. He looked between the three of us skeptically but then nodded.
"First thing's first. You got to get your family out of here." Sam told him. "Head to the motel I was talking about. You'll be safe there."
"What are you three gonna do?"
"Handle it." I told him as we moved them towards the cars, but that's when we discovered another problem.
"Oh, no! Oh, come on! Oh, come on!" Dean yelled as he took in the sight of flat tires on every vehicle parked in the yard. Sam rushed over to the car and popped the trunk.
"Dude, the guns are gone. So is the... Basically, everything is gone." Sam calls out.
"Both tires slashed." The dad admitted walking back over from their SUV.
"What kind of ghost messes with a man's wheels?!" Dean screams out.
"Dean, shut up!" I turned and scolded him. "How far is the motel? Or can we trade out some tires to make at least one of the vehicles run?"
"None of them are the same size, Em." He responded.
Just then the young girl screamed in terror.
"She's there! She's there!" She points over to the edge of the woods.
"Where?!" The mom asked frantically.
"She was right there in the woods!"
"What's a ghost doing outside?" I turned and asked my brothers.
"You want to stay and find out?" Sam rebutted.
"Everybody inside." Dean yelled over our arguing.
"Are you crazy? We need to get the hell out of here!" The uncle hesistated.
"In what?! This ghost is hunting us! Everybody back inside now! Move!" Dean yelled back at him, he listened reluctantly and they quickly went back inside. Dean began to lay down a large salt circle in the center of the living room floor.
"Whatever's outside, it can't get in this circle. As long as the salt line is unbroken, this is the safest place to be." He explained.
"Safe from ghosts?" The dad asked skeptically.
"Yes, as a matter of fact." I nodded to him.
"Okay. I'm not listening to this anymore. Come on. I got to get my family out of here. Let's go."
"Nobody's going anywhere until we kill this thing." Dean told him.
"Sir, please. This is what we do. Just...trust us." Sam pleaded with him.
"You hunt ghosts?" The young boy asked.
"That's right."
"Like Scooby-Doo?"
"Better." Dean winked.
"You saw her outside, right? Okay. Does she look like either one of these girls?" Sam asked the young girl as he pulled out pictures that the house keeper gave us earlier.
"Her. She was paler and a lot dirtier, but that was her." She said as she pointed to the picture of the daughter.
"That's the girl in the walls." The little boy leaned over and told us.
"So it's the daughter?" I asked Sam for clarification.
"That girl in the picture—She-She's dead?" The mom asked shakily.
"She killed herself inside this house. And we think her ghost killed her father who lived here previously." I admitted.
"So, what. The maid got her story wrong? Rebecca wasn't cremated?" Dean asked.
"Unless her spirit's just attached to something inside the house." I shrugged.
"She hung herself in the attic, right?"
"You want to babysit? I'll check it out." Sam offered.
"Look—I don't care who hung themselves where. Maybe something is going on here, but—" The uncle tried to argue.
"It's a spirit, man." Dean told him bluntly.
"No, it's just some backwoods hillbilly bitch, and I'm not about to sit around here waiting for her to go all Deliverance on my ass."
"Well, nobody's leaving the house."
"Stop me."
"Listen, man. I've got a gun. You don't get your ass back in that circle, you're gonna have yourself a third hole." Dean smiled to him. He hesitated, but returned to the circle.
"Dude, you don't have a gun. None of us do." I rolled my eyes as Dean turned back to us.
"And? I'm not letting that bastard or anyone else die tonight."
"Alright… yall cool?"
"Yeah, want me to go as back up?" I offered.
"No. I'll be right back. Help Dean incase they mutiny."
"Okay, be careful."
"Yall too."
I sighed as I turned and looked at Dean.
"This one's a mess, De."
"I know Em, We've got get these people the hell out of here somehow."
"Hey. Fonzie. Question for you. This indestructible force field made out of salt... Have to be kosher stuff, or what?" One of the men called out.
"Knock it off, Ted." The mom scolded him.
"Yeah Ted, knock it off, or I'll knock you out." I turned and warned him. He rolled his eyes.
A sound ruffled from behind us, I turned, knife out and ready.
"What was that?" The young girl whispered as Dean and I scanned the dark room. Just then a door in the hall begins to open slowly. "Mom."
The ghost entered the room from the doorway with a sadistic smile on her face. She was so… odd looking. Different from any ghost I'd ever seen before. Dean grabbed my shirt and pulled me closer to his side.
"All right, everybody stay calm. She's a ghost. She can't come in the circle." He told us all as we took a step back towards the family inside the circle. The ghost continued to approach, and pulled out a knife of her own before stepping over the salt line.
"I thought you said ghosts couldn't cross the circle!" The girl behind us cried out.
"Dean! Not a ghost!" I squealed.
"Shoot her! Shoot her!" Ted yelled.
"We don't have a gun, RUN!" I yelled as I pushed them towards the front door. Dean began to struggle with the freaky girl confirming yet again she was NOT a fucking ghost! What the fuck!
"Hey!" Sam's voice yelled out into the darkness, the girl turned to face him and she shined his light in her face, causing her to scream before running and disappearing into the closet again.
"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!" I yelled.
"Daughter's not dead?!" Sam guessed.
"No shit Sherlock!"
"Where's the family?"
"Outside, let's go find everyone." Dean said pushing me towards the door.
We rushed outside and the dad ran up to us.
"Hey. You guys okay?" He asked.
"We're fine. Where is everybody?" Dean asked him.
"Hiding."
"All right, go get them. Go. Go get them.
"So, this is just a girl?" Sam turned and asked us still shocked.
"It's not just a girl. It's psycho Nell. I'm telling you, man—humans." Dean shook his head.
"Its gotta be the daughter right?" I asked.
"Dude, no. She'd have to be like fifty years old by now." Dean disagreed. "What'd you find in the attic?"
"Some old junk. I found Rebecca's diary. That's about it." Sam said as he lifted the book.
"I wish you'd found a howitzer. Listen, we got to get this family safe. I mean, it's just a human, so they can make a run for it. We just got to hold her off."
"Yeah, and try not to get kidnapped or nearly killed again like the last time we faced some humans."
"Danny! Ted! We got to go!" The dad called out as he, his wife, and their daughter came back over to us.
"I'm good! I'm here." Ted said coming out from around the corner.
"Danny! Come on!" The mom called out… but as there was no reply I began to get a sinking feeling.
"Danny, buddy, we got to go!" The dad yelled out for his son.
"Told you it was some crazy bitch." Ted rubbed in our face.
"Yes, you did." Dean answered unamused.
"Head to town. We'll take it from here, okay?" Sam told them.
"Danny, come on, baby! We're leaving!" The mom yelled again… Dammit Danny.
"Dean. Where's the kid?" I leaned over to him and mumbled. He gave me a worried look.
"Brian, where—Where is he?" The mom asked. "Danny!" She yelled panicked as she saw the look on his face when he didn't have an answer.
"Suse, Suse, Suse. We will find Danny, I promise you." The dad said as he held her by the shoulders.
"No." She cried.
"No. Take Kate and go now. Now, while you still have a chance."
"Not without Danny."
"We will find him."
"I am not going out there with Mom alone." The girl crossed her arms.
"She's right. Until we find your son, the safest place for you right now is in the shed." I told them honestly.
"I am not going in there either."
"Yes, you are. It is the best defense. The windows are boarded up. It's got one door. It's our best shot right now. Trust me." Dean told them.
"I'll go with them." I volunteered.
"You're just a kid too! What are you gonna do?!"
"Kate right?" I asked her. She nodded "Kate, I may only be 17, but I've been hunting monsters and ghosts for 17 years. I can do a lot more than you think I can. GO." I told her as I pointed towards the shed.
"Hey Em… keep an eye on them. Board up the doors." Dean told me before I left to catch up with them.
"You two be careful, and find my fucking gun." I said before jogging off.
I caught up to Susan and Kate at the shed and cleared it before pushing them inside and barricading the door behind us. It was dark, dusty, and had a few old gardening supplies.
"Great." I groaned.
"I don't understand any of this… who is that girl?" The mom asked.
"We don't really know yet. But. Whoever it is most likely killed the man who lived here. And she would have killed you guys too. She's… a monster."
"Why would she do something like that?"
"I really don't know… We were researching this like it was a ghost, not a psycho. We've gotta go back to square one."
"So. Ghosts are real?" Kate asked me.
"Yes. They are very real, some of them are harmless but some of them are angry spirits who want to hurt people."
"Oh my god…" She mumbled.
"Trippy right?" I joked softly. "Trust me that's all you want to know about."
"No its not." She jumped, curiosity in her eyes.
"Yes. It is." The mom scolded her.
"So you grew up hunting ghosts? Why?" she asked me instead.
"Its what my family does… my Mom was killed by something in the supernatural world, and my Dad was fixated on it. He raised us to hunt them too."
"Did you find what killed her?"
"Yes. And he's dead now." I nodded.
"So why not quit? Try and live a normal life?" Susan asked. I chuckled.
"We don't fit really… we 've kind of tried to play with the idea of settling down somewhere, but. We never really could make it work. Besides, if we did. Who would be there to help people like you?"
"Touche." Susan smiled. "I wish people like you weren't needed. Not that I'm not thankful for your help, but. It makes me even more terrified of the world we live in.
"Yeah. I get that." I smiled back.
"Was it hard?" She then asked me.
"What?"
"Growing up on the road, without a mom?"
I took a deep breath before answering.
"Yes." I finally spoke. "But those two men out there, my brothers. They are two of the best men on the planet, and they went above and beyond to raise me the best they could. My dad was gone on hunts more often than not, so. Yes, it was hard. But having them made it easier."
"Family is everything." Susan said with a tear in her eye.
"We're going to get him back, Susan. Sam and Dean don't back down. They don't give up… they'll die getting him back before they let you leave this place without him."
"Thank you." She said as she attempted to pull herself together, holding Kate in her arms.
I leaned back against the counter attached to the wall, but then my pocket began to buzz. I pulled out my phone expecting it to be Sam or Dean… but it wasn't.
I stared at the phone as my stomach flopped. Part of me wished he would stop calling… the other part of me holds onto the hope that one day I'll be able to actually answer it and hear his voice.
"It's a boy right?" Kate's voice caused me to jump.
"You phone. It's a boy." I stared at her for a moment. "Like you said… you're still a teenage girl."
"Yeah. It's a boy." I admitted as I stashed my phone back in my pocket.
"Why didn't you answer it?"
"Because I can't."
"He did something wrong huh?"
"Kate. Drop it." Susan scolded her.
"No. It's okay… she's right. He did do something very wrong. He lied."
"Ugh. I know what that feels like." Kate sighed and shook her head. I gave her a soft smile, and tried to swallow the lump in my throat.
Just then there was rustling outside the door. Susan and Kate backed into the corner and I stood in front of them, knife pulled and ready.
"Em, open up!" Sam's voice called out.
"Sam?" I asked as I moved the barricade and opened the door for him and the dad, Brian, to come inside."
"Find anything?" I asked. Sam shook his head in disappointment.
"What about Dean?" He asked.
"Haven't seen him yet… just you two."
"Well, maybe that's a good thing."
"Maybe."
"You good?"
I went to answer him, but my phone buzzed again. I jumped to grab it, hoping again it would be Dean. But yet again I was faced with his name lit up across the screen.
"Is it him?"
"Yeah." I whispered as I shut the phone and placed it back in my pocket.
"How many times has he called tonight?"
"Just a few."
"Em, You wanna swap phones for a while?"
"No, Sammy… I just want to find this kid." I said as I leaned into him. He pulled his arm around me and rubbed his thumb on my shoulder.
"Look, why are we just standing here? Let's go in. Let's check the house." Brian insisted.
"We have to wait for those guys to get back, okay?" Sam replied.
Just then another knock hit the door.
"Dean?" I called out.
"Yeah. Open up."
Sam and I pulled the door opena gain and let Dean in… but it was only Dean.
"Did you get Danny?" Susan asked.
"No."
"No? Well, where's Ted?"
"He's outside." Dean answered as he looked down at the ground… I knew then this was bad.
"Well, why doesn't he come inside?"
"Because I had to carry him out. I'm sorry."
"You're...what does that mean? What does that mean, you're sorry?"
"Are you saying that he's dead?" Brian asked.
"No. No, he's not saying that he's dead. You're not saying that, are you?" Susan asked with tears in her eyes.
"We were in the walls and she attacked."
"Oh my god. It's going to be like Andy all over again."
"And I couldn't get to him in time."
"Uncle Ted is dead?" Kate cried.
"I shouldn't have left him alone. I'm very sorry." Dean replied before moving back outside of the shed.
"De, wait." I called after him as I followed. "Dean… it's not your fault."
"I should have been watching him."
"Yeah well Ted isn't exactly the kind of guy to be babysat. I'm sure you did everything you could."
"We gotta find this kid Em."
"I know. You said she got him in the walls? Did you get all the way through the house."
"No. I turned around after I found fido's corpse and Ted got killed."
"So we go back in. I can fit in there no problem."
"No way… you're not going in there until we have something more than a knife to defend ourselves with."
"Well, Dean. Like you said we've got to do something! Danny's just a kid and he's in there somewhere alone."
"I know… I know. Just. Let me think for a minute."
Just then Brian and Sam came out to join us. Sam had the diary in his hands, and Brian stared up at the house.
"Who's Andy?" I asked softly.
"Our oldest. He got himself killed in a car accident last year."
"I'm sorry."
"It nearly tore Suse and I apart. Still could, I imagine. That's why we moved here. Fresh air, fresh start. Not even my line. Marriage counselor. 'Course, she might be right. After all, what could possibly go wrong in the country?"
"I'm getting your son back. If it's the last godforsaken thing I do." Dean told him.
"Why do you care so much?"
"Dean, Em… come check this out." Sam called us over. Brian nodded as we walked away.
"We gotta talk. Rebecca's diary. I just finished reading it."
"And?" Dean asked.
"That girl back there? Pretty sure she was Rebecca's daughter."
"Rebecca had a kid?"
"It's all she talks about. Being pregnant, being ashamed of being pregnant."
"Jeez, rent Juno and get over it. Wait, why kill herself after the baby?" I asked.
"Maybe because her dad called her a dirty little whore and said he was gonna lock the baby up."
"Why would he say that?..." I pondered for a moment while Sam gave me a knowing look.
"Oh gross!" Dean said catching on, which led to me catching on and gagging in my mouth.
"Yeah."
"So the daddy was the babydaddy too?"
"Dude was a monster, Dean."
"Wow, a story ripped from an Austrian headline. Humans, man. So she's been locked up her whole life?"
"You saw her eyes. Has she ever seen light? She's barely human."
"Okay, so, what, then, she's been caged up like an animal and she busts out and ganks dear old Dad? Slash Granddad?" I asked.
"I guess."
"Well, can't say I blame her." I crossed my arms.
"I'm sure her life was hell, Em. It doesn't mean she gets a free pass for murder."
"Like you know what hell's like." Dean mumbled.
"I didn't..."
"Forget it."
"So where do we find her?" Getting them back on track.
"Kid's gotta eat, right?" Dean asked.
"What?"
"He kept her hidden, locked up, but he had to feed her, didn't he?"
"I guess."
"I think I know where." Dean said as he led us into the house. He busted a hole in the kitchen wall where the hollow spot I knocked on earlier was.
"Could've kept her hidden here for years. Kept her fed, nobody would ever know." Dean said as he stepped back. Brian coming in behind us and yelling down the shaft.
"Danny! Danny!"
"Watch out, I'm going down." Dean pushed him aside.
"No. That's my son."
"I know it is, but I said that I would get him. I will. Let me."
"Hey, you got curtains? We need rope." Sam asked Brian as he stepped back.
We tied curtains together to make a make-shift rope and lowered Dean down the hole.
"De becareful!" I called down to him. He nodded. Then he disappeared when he hit the bottom and moved to the side.
"Maybe one of us should go down with him." I said to Sam.
"No way, Dean would kill me for sending you down there or leaving you up here. Just wait with me."
"Ughhh… this was so much easier when it was four of us." I sighed. Sam put a hand on my shoulder and squeezed.
We waited for a few moments before we could hear shuffling.
"Dean?! Dean!" I called down, just then Danny appeared in the hole.
"Danny!" Brian yelled with relief.
"Danny! Grab the rope!" Sam yelled as he pulled him back up.
"Okay!" Danny yelled as he tied himself into the curtains.
"Pull." Sam said to Brian and I as we walked backwards and pulled him up the shaft.
"Come on, buddy. Come on, buddy. Don't look back, Danny. Just come on, come." Brian called to him.
"Come on. You okay? It's okay." Brian comforted him as we finally got him back into the kitchen.
"Danny, where is Dean?" I asked him.
"He's down there with her brother."
"Shit." I said leaning back down the shaft. "DEAN!"
"Get him out of here. You gotta go." Sam pushed Brian and Danny towards the door.
"Sam! I'm going down."
"Emily! No." He yelled but it was too late, I was half way down the shaft. I dropped my grip on the curtains and dropped the rest of the way down, then I entered the crawl space.
"Dean!" I yelled as I could hear the struggle. The further I crawled the clearer I could hear them. I kept going until I came upon our stash of stuff from the trunk. I dug for my gun and smiled when I pulled it out, locked and loaded.
"Dean! I'm coming!" I called out as I kept going.
I finally came on the site of two people struggling, in the dark I could hardly make out which one was Dean, but once I was sure the man on top was far too small to be my giant brother I took my shot. Three to be exact. All to the back of the head.
The man collapsed to the ground as Dean pushed him to the side.
"Dean, De are you okay!?"
"I'm good! Where's Danny?"
"He's out already, Sam and Brian got him… let's get the hell out of here.
"Yeah… hey. Thanks kiddo."
"Anytime old man." I winked at him before we both crawled out.
….
"Thanks for the head start." Dean said as he finished replacing the tires on the impala.
"Why doesn't it surprise me you guys don't like the police?" Brian asked.
"It's sort of a mutual-appreciation thing, really." I shrugged innocently.
"Well, thank you." Brian reached out and shook each of our hands.
"Thank you." Susan smiled as she hugged her children to her.
"You okay?" Dean asked her.
"No, we're the opposite of okay, but we're together."
"Family is everything." I smiled to her, she nodded in reply.
We quickly bailed out of town and started our drive to anywhere but there. I sat in the backseat and picked at the fries Dean stopped and got, but I just couldn't find my appetite.
"You okay?" Sam asked out loud. I was fixing to scold him for asking me AGAIN when I realized it wasn't me he was talking to… It was Dean. Who had unwrapped his food, but then wrapped back up again before even starting to eat it.
"You know, I felt for those sons of bitches back there. Lifelong torture turns you into something like that."
"You were in hell, Dean. Look, maybe you did what you did there, but you're not them. They were barely human."
"Yeah, you're right. I wasn't like them. I was worse. They were animals, Sam, defending territory. Me? I did it for the sheer pleasure."
"What?" I leaned up and asked. Dean took a long deep breath before answering again.
"I enjoyed it, Em. They took me off the rack, and I tortured souls, and I liked it. All those years, all that pain. Finally getting to deal some out yourself. I didn't care who they put in front of me. Because that pain I felt, it just slipped away. No matter how many people I save, I can't change that. I can't fill this hole. Not ever."
"Dean… you can't put that on your soul. You can't carry that around and still be human. No one can. It's too much."
"I made that bed. Now I'll lay in it." He answered somberly before turning up the radio.
Without another word I sat back against the seat. Exchanging a worried glance with Sam before going back to picking at fries. I was almost asleep when my phone let out a short buzz from the seat beside me. I lifted it… a text.
This was the first time he had texted me and not called me. I held my shaking finger over the open button, but then decided I would rather be alone when I read it. And that wasn't going to happen for another few hours at least…
So until then I shoved the phone down into the floorboard underneath all of my bags. Putting the most distance I could between it and I… not that t helped with the lump in my throat every time I thought about what It might say.
Not that it stopped me from reconsidering opening it now every five minutes.
Not that it stopped me from being completely and totally fucking miserable the entire ride.
….
We finally reached a motel to bunk down at for the night. A place to shower, sleep, decide on our next move. It was a quiet town. Small, but well populated. The motel was as clean as any other we've stayed in. Definitely been in worse.
The walls were soft green, the beds covered in floral pattern, and small wooden furniture set up in the corner of the room next to one of the two queen beds.
The TV played some trash reality show, just to keep noise going in the background. Not because any of us are actually interested in watching it. Sam picked at pizza while he did whatever it is he does on his laptop… Dean drank his beer and pretended to watch the TV.
I sat on the bed. Staring at my bag that contained my phone.
"I'm going to take a shower." I said as I reached for it and stood.
"Leave me some hot water for later." Dean called out.
"Yeah." I said nervously.
"Hey… you okay?" Sam asked.
Do I tell them… do I keep it to myself.
I'm tired of keeping all this shit to myself… I'm tired of pretending it doesn't hurt every second of every day.
"Em?" Sam called again when I didn't answer.
"… He sent me a message, and I haven't opened it yet."
"Oh." Sam said softly. "Well… do you want to?"
"Yeah." I said as a tear rolled its way down my cheek.
"Do you want to be alone?" Dean asked next.
"I don't know." I confessed.
Dean stood and walked over to me, taking the bag out of my hands and sitting on the bed as he dug out the phone, he held it in his hands for a moment before holding it out to me.
I took it hesitantly.
"Open it, kiddo. We're right here."
I leaned against the wall and slid down it. My hands shook slightly as I flipped open the phone and slowly opened my inbox… then clicked on the closed message with his name beside it.
"De…" I whispered. "I don't know if I can."
"Then delete it." He shrugged.
"I can't do that."
"Well then read it… babygirl this is not going to get easier until you face it. If you don't want to, then I'm fine with that too. But you need to make a decision one way or the other."
"Why did he do this?"
"I don't know."
"Why did I believe any of it?"
"Because he was a damn good lair. He fooled us all."
I wiped my eyes and then picked the phone back up. I just glanced at the message, it wasn't short. It was lengthy, and I knew it would be hard to get through. But I had to start somewhere.
Judson: Please. Stop ignoring my calls… I have to talk to you. I need to explain everything. I know you think I did something to hurt you, but there's so much more to it. If you would just talk to me baby, please. I love you so much. I'm so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. I miss you every minute of every day, just… call me. Please call me. I'm never far away.
"He wants to talk." I mumbled as I tossed the phone down to the ground.
"That's all it says?"
"No. Dean… it went on and on about how he was sorry, and how he missed me. How he loved me and never meant to hurt me." I said trying to hold back my tears. "But none of that matters… so yeah. Basically all it says is that he wants to talk."
"Sweetheart, it's not that it doesn't matter. It's just that you can't know that he means it. Not after everything else he lied about. We just don't want you to fall into some trap." Sam said.
"Well then what do I do? Cause it hurts… every fucking day, Sam. I mean I can't just never talk to him again. The thought of never seeing him again literally feels like it might kill me. Cause I miss him so fucking much!" I cried as I pulled up my knees.
Dean moved down the ground to sit on one side of me, and then Sam moved to the other.
"But if I do see him again, talk to him… listen to what he has to say. Is it gonna hurt more? Is it gonna make things worse? Cause I'm not sure I can take anything more. I… I feel stupid! I feel so stupid for believing him."
"It's not your fault Em. He fooled us all." Dean said as he swung and arm over me and pulled me into his side. Rubbing his hand up and down my shoulder.
"I thought he loved me." I cried.
"I know babygirl… I know." Dean cooed. "How about I run out… get us some cheesecake, and some movies, and some new comfy sweat pants to mope around in? Huh? Couple days in bed with some take out, lots of chocolate?"
"I don't wanna be some stupid teenage girl. I wanna be better than that."
"Em, you are a teenage girl. It's called wallowing. And you get a right to own it every once and a while… this is one of those times." Sam encouraged me.
"Can we watch The Notebook?" I whimpered as I gave Dean puppy dog eyes.
"Yes." He said with his head hung low. "As many times as you want."