Heyyyyyyyy guys! I sat down and wrote this entire chapter tonight, I just couldn't find a stopping place. I do not own Sam, Dean, Bobby, or any original Supernatural characters. Just my Emily, and I'm so thrilled to be sharing her story with you all again… side note. I tested positive for Covid today. Downside is I feel like crap… upside is hopefully I have more time to write. I also added a new chapter yesterday to my other story.
I love you guys and knowing there's still a few people here who love and support Emily's story makes me happier than I know how to put into words. I miss the show… I miss our boys… so it's nice in a way to get to be with them again.
"Okay. Let me out. This is not funny." Sam argued.
I sat on the steps, watching as Dean leaned against the door. They spoke through the small barred window in the top center of the door.
"Damn straight." Dean replied sadly.
"Dean, come on. This is crazy."
"No. Not until you dry out."
"Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have lied to you. Just open the door."
My eyes watered. I hated the sound of desperation in his voice.
"You don't have to apologize. It's not your fault. It's not your fault that you lied to me over and over again. I get it now. You couldn't help it."
"I'm not some junkie." Sam scoffed.
Dean instantly looked up and met my eyes. Watching to gauge my reaction. I didn't try and hide my disappointment in the way he said it… Dean would see it anyways.
"Really? I guess I've just imagined how strung out you've been lately."
"You're actually trying to twist this into some kind of ridiculous drug intervention? Dean I'm not Emily! Okay, I-I don't take pills everyday to get by with life!"
…Ouch.
"Frist off… If it smells like a duck." Dean shrugged. "Second- that's not fair to her and you know it."
"Dean, I'm not drinking the demon blood for kicks or to deal with my emotions. I'm getting strong enough to kill Lilith."
"Strong?"
"Yeah."
"This is about as far away from strong as you can get. Try weak. Try desperate. Pathetic."
"Dean stop." I whispered as I furrowed my brows at him.
"Killing Lilith is what matters. Or are you so busy being self-righteous and babysitting Emily out there you forgot about her?"
"Oh, Lilith's gonna die. Em and I will kill her. But not with you."
"You're not serious."
"Congrats, Sammy. You just bought yourself a benchwarmer seat to the apocalypse." He stood and turned.
"Dean, look—no, wait—" Sam was cut off as Dean closed the window cover and walked over to me.
"He doesn't mean it Kiddo… it's not him talking."
"Come back here. Dean! Let me out of here! Dean! Let me out of here! Let me out! EMILY! Please!"
Listening to him beg made me sick.
"… I know." I mumbled as I stood, Dean followed me back to the kitchen where Bobby sat with a cup of coffee.
"He's still going at it down there huh?" Bobby asked.
"Yeah." I sighed sitting across from him.
"You know he's gonna say a lot of things he doesn't mean Emily… but you know this is no different, right? He's no better than you. He's an addict. He has a problem. And just like you overcame yours, he will too."
"I know, I just… I can't listen to him beg and scream." I whispered feeling my throat grow tighter with each word.
"Do you wanna get out of here for the day? Take the car?" Dean offered.
"And go where?"
"… I don't know." He sighed as he stood behind me and leaned his hands on the back of my chair.
"My first thought was to tell you to spend the day with Judson, but… I forget that's not an option right now either kiddo."
"Its an option… It's just not one I'm ready to take."
Suddenly Sam's screams caught all of our attention. I leaned my head against the table. He was so afraid… so hurt. One minute he'll be hallucinating, and the next he's arguing that he's perfectly fine. Its like mental whiplash.
"How long is this gonna go on?" Dean groaned as he took a shot of whiskey.
"Here, let me look it up in my demon-detox manual. Oh wait. No one ever wrote one. No telling how long it'll take. Hell, or if Sam will even live through it."
My eyes shot straight up to Bobby's face.
I could tell he didn't mean to say it in front of me, but he meant it… Before I could react Bobby's kitchen phone rang, giving him the perfect excuse to act like he never said what he just said.
"Hello. ...Suck dirt and die, Rufus. You call me again, I'll kill you." Bobby then slammed the phone down.
"What's up with Rufus?" Dean asked.
"He knows." The phone rang again, Bobby picked it up. "I'm busy, you son of a bitch. This better be important."
I watched as Bobby's face changed, he looked up between Dean and I. Then he hung up the phone.
"Emily, go turn the TV on… put on any news station you can get?"
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"The news." Bobby sighed gesturing me to go, I stood and they followed behind me as I picked up the remote. "The news ain't good."
"This is what Rufus called about? 'Key West sees ten species go extinct'." Dean asked as he watched the title run across the bottom of the screen.
"Yep. Plus Alaska. Fifteen-man fishing crew all stricken blind, cause unknown. New York, teacher goes postal, locks the door, kills exactly sixty-six kids. All this in a single day. I looked them up. There's no doubt about it. They're all seals. Breaking. Fast."
My stomach sank… an entire apocalypse has been knocking at my door and I think I've been so wrapped up in my relationship issues I tried to ignore it, and now it was catching up in all the wrong ways.
"How many are left?" I asked, afraid to hear the answer.
"Who knows? Can't be many." Bobby guessed. Then he turned to Dean. "Where the hell are your angel pals?"
"You tell me." Dean said throwing his hands in the air slightly, then rubbing the back of his head.
"… De. It's bad, isn't it." I asked. Knowing that he wouldn't lie to me. Not about this. I needed to know HOW bad this was. How far gone the world is, and I needed to know now.
"It's bad kiddo… It's bad."
His face held no deceit. He didn't even try to cover his anxiety.
"Can we… Can we fix it?"
"I hope so." He smiled at me, giving me the slightest bit of comfort.
"I'm just wondering." Bobby pondered out loud. "The apocalypse being nigh and all...is now really the right time to be having this little domestic drama of ours?"
"What do you mean?" Dean asked confused.
"Well, I don't like this any more than you do, but Sam can kill demons. Emily can kill … well probably anything but definitely Demons. We probably need all the help we can get right now… I mean we got a shot at stopping Armageddon."
"So what? Sacrifice Sam's life, his soul, for the greater good? Is that what you're saying? Times are bad, so let's use one of my siblings as a nuclear warhead?"
"Dean stop!" I turned and argued. "He's right! Okay, this is not the time to argue about me losing control, this might be the one time that I NEED to lose control!... and.. Sam. He… He's messed up but maybe we need him."
"NO!" Dean answered immediately.
"Look, I know you hate me for suggesting it. I hate me for suggesting it. I love that boy like a son. I love you all as my own. All I'm saying is maybe he's here right now instead of on the battlefield because we love him too much… Emily can probably pull this off on her own if she really has the amount of power the kid said she does, but what if she needs help Dean? What if we're putting it all on one person when we could share the load a little." Bobby explained.
It was odd… a man who is always so calm and collected, yet now I could see the fear on his face. He knows it's the end of the world. He knows this is the time to take drastic measures.
He sees it… He see's that I need to use them.
I don't want to… I'm scared to really, and I know Dean would rather die again then let me be in that position to take on the apocalypse alone but maybe I just have to.
"No… No." Dean shook his head. "We will find Lillith. Emily and I will KILL HER… and then this will end. It will all end. Lillith is scared of her, okay. It won't take much. I know it."
"Fine." Bobby surrendered, walking back to the kitchen and picking up the bottle of whiskey, not wasting his time grabbing a glass.
"Dean." I whispered. "None of this feels right… we need help."
"I know, Em. I know… Listen. Go upstairs. Get cleaned up, we'll go get some lunch, take a drive, get out of the house for an hour and try to gather our thoughts okay?"
"Yeah." I smiled slightly as I walked past, stopping briefly to hug his arm, he leaned down and kissed the top of my head.
…..
…..
…..
We sat in the car as Dean drove a back road, taking the long way back to Bobby's. The bag of food sits between us, barely touched.
"Dean. I think… I think maybe we should try to get help."
"From who Em?"
"I don't know… Castiel maybe?" I shrugged.
"I don't think he's going to be much help based on our last conversation. He made his stance pretty clear."
"Dean, he... He personally betrayed me. But he has also come to support us and has fought my battle for me up there. I just. I have to believe that somewhere there are good intentions there. And if you're not going to let Sam out then we have to get help somewhere else."
Dean sat in silence before turning to me.
"Do you really think we should let him out?"
The look on his face was so hard to read. Was he angry? Asking to be sarcastic?
"I-I don't.."
"I'm asking for your opinion Emily. I'm not scolding you like a child. You're 18. You're an adult. You're part of this family… and I need to know if you honestly believe this is the wrong move."
Everything in me wanted to scream YES! LET HIM OUT!... but I couldn't. Because deep down I knew he was right. I knew Sam was dangerous… to himself, to us. To the world at this point. He's just as likely to destroy us as he is to save us.
"… I want to tell you to let him out with every bone in my fucking body." I said as my eyes watered. "But I can't Dean. I don't want you to be right. I want Sammy back. I want to come back and help us… but I want OUR Sam."
"He's not our Sam right now Em." He said sadly.
"… Which is why we can't let him out." I said looking down at the seat. I buried my face in my hands and just cried. Suddenly feeling the overwhelming amount of fear catch up.
The FUCKING world is ENDING… This is real. This is not only our lives but every life there is.
Dean slid over and put his arm around me.
"We'll figure this out Em. I believe it… I do. I know that we can kill her, and… as much as I hate it. I know if we have to, you can take her out. You can do it. I don't doubt that for a second."
"Dean… we have to try."
"Try what?"
"Try to talk to Cas. Please."
He stared at me for a long moment before briefly nodding his head up and down.
"Okay." He finally said as he put the car back in drive.
I sat, gathering myself again.
Dean and I take on the world… this has always come so naturally for me. It was home. It was where we belonged… but at the same time, it felt like it was missing something. Sam coming back into our lives was the best thing that ever happened to us all… I just want him back.
…..
…..
…..
"De. It's been hours." I said exhausted. "Maybe… maybe I should call Judson. See if he can get in touch with him."
"Do you really want to do that?" Dean asked staring straight at my face. I stared back.
"Dammit! CASTIEL!" I yelled loudly.
Suddenly the sound of wings caused me to turn.
"Well, it's about time. I've been screaming myself hoarse out here for about two and a half hours now." Dean announced throwing his arms up.
"What do you want?" Castiel asked, zero emotion on his face. He didn't even look at me.
"You can start with what the hell happened in Illinois."
"What do you mean?"
"Cut the crap. You were gonna tell me something."
"Well, nothing of import."
"You got ass-reamed in heaven but it was not of import?" I asked getting irritated.
"Emily, I can't. I'm sorry. Get to the reason you really called me. It's about Sam, right?"
"Can we do it… Kill Lillith, stop the apocalypse? Can- Can THEY do it?" Dean asked looking over at me briefly before his eyes landed back on Cas.
"Possibly, yes. But as you know, Sam, he'd have to take certain steps… and as much as I believe Emily could, I don't know what that could mean for any of us. We don't know her abilities well enough to say… She doesn't have the level of control that he does. She's unstable. She could not only kill Lillith, but herself and everyone nearby."
"So the choice is… Release Sam. Crank up the hell-blood regimen. Or possibly kill Emily and everyone around us. Am I hearing that right?"
"Consuming the amount of blood it would take to kill Lilith would change your brother forever. Most likely, he would become the next creature that you would feel compelled to kill. And.. yes. Emily or you, or Sam or anyone could die if Emily loses control." Castiel said blatantly.
"I can do it." I said confidently. Knowing I didn't have a choice… if its me taking a risk or Sam surely becoming a monster and ultimately dying then the choice was already made.
Dean moved to respond, but was cut off by Cas.
"There's no reason any of this would have to come to pass, Dean. We believe it's you, Dean, not your brother. Not Emily. The only question for us is whether you're willing to accept it. Stand up and accept your role. You are the one who will stop it."
"Wait- what does that mean?" I asked, but I was ignored.
"If I do this, they don't have to?" Dean asked clearly.
"DEAN! Hold on a second!"
"Shut up Emily." He muttered as he stepped forward towards Cas.
"If it gives you comfort to see it that way." Cas stated plainly.
"God, you're a dick these days." Dean said shaking his head as he stepped in a circle.
"Dean… Don't do this… I know what you're fixing to do and we don't know what the consequences of that choice would be!"
Dean looked at me and back to Cas.
"DAMMIT DEAN! This is how we got here in the first place!" I said feeling the anger bubble inside of me. I know that look. I know what comes next… FUCK!
"Fine, I'm in." He said as he turned his back on me and faced only Cas.
"Dean!" I said shoving him from behind.
"You give yourself over wholly to the service of God and his angels?" Castiel asked immediately, them both ignoring me.
"Yeah, exactly."
"Say it."
"No! Dean don't do it!" I yelled moving between them.
"I give myself over wholly to serve God and you guys." He yelled over my head. I shoved him backwards with frustration, but he didn't waiver.
"You swear to follow his will and his word as swiftly and obediently as you did your own father's?"
"NO! Castiel stop this! This isn't why we called you!" I begged moving towards him.
"Yes, I swear. Now what?"
"Now you wait, and we call on you when it's time."
With that he was gone… and Dean and I stood alone in the center of the old shop.
I looked up to him as tears made their way down my hot cheeks.
"You son of a bitch." I muttered. "I can't fucking believe you just did that…"
"Well I did. Suck it up." He said as he moved to walk past me.
"NO!" I said yanking his arm backwards. "You ASKED me my opinion! You told me I was an adult and a part of this family and then you make this decision against every bit of better judgement we have!"
"IT'S THE BEST CHOICE WE HAVE! I WILL NOT LOSE YOU. I WILL NOT LOSE HIM AGAIN!"
"OH BUT WE CAN LOSE YOU AGAIN?!" I screamed at him. Feeling the wind whip my hair against my face as my anger grew. I could hear the windows of nearby cars in the junk yard began to shatter as Dean walked away from me and I followed him out of the shop.
"Look at where that got us last time!"
Dean didn't stop.
"DEAN! Stop fucking ignoring me!" I yelled as felt the anger pulse inside of me. Suddenly Dean was frozen, arms out to his side as he slowly dropped to his knees, struggling for air.
I hadn't realized that my hands were open, pointed in his direction… I instantly dropped them. He leaned forward on his hands and knees.
"Dean!" I said rushing to him. "Dean are you okay?!"
"… That. Is why you can't risk this Emily… I can't let you." He said regaining his breath.
"Dean you don't even know what you just agreed to." I cried.
"I agreed to save the world, and most importantly You and Sam." He said as he stood, moving past me to walk into the house.
I stood… unsure of whether I wanted to scream or cry.
So I did both.
Glass shattered all around me. Windows busting, the wind thrashing the loose glass against the rusted metal cars. I know I can do this… I can kill her, I can control it.
I opened my eyes and took deep breaths. Laying in front of me what a rusted wrench on the ground. I took two slow breaths, in and out. Then I lifted my hand and watched as the wrench lifted into the air in front of me. I held it here, feeling a dull throb in the back of my head. I took another deep breath and with the flick of my hand I threw into a nearby vehicle. The edge melted through the car's exterior like a knife in butter, and the other end stood straight out. I walked up and grabbed it. Throwing it on the ground again.
I shook my shoulders out down to my fingers and then focused, lifting my hand again, the wrench moved easily. It sat eye level, and this time I merely looked toward the firewood shed against the back of the house, and the wrench flew into it with ease.
"I can fucking do this." I said with a new determination. I marched into the house, looking for Bobby and Dean. I moved through the kitchen, over hearing them in the living room. I paused.
"Correct me if I'm wrong, but you willingly signed up to be the angels' bitch?" Bobby asked. There was a pause… "I'm sorry. You prefer 'sucker'? After everything you said about them, now you trust them?"
"Come on, give me a little credit, Bobby. I've never trusted them less. I mean, they come on like shady politicians from planet Vulcan."
"Then why in the hell did you—"
"Because what other option do I have? It's either trust the angels or let Sammy trust a demon? Let Emily kill herself and maybe all of us?"
"I see your point." Bobby sighed.
"Well I don't." I stated walking into the room.
"Emily don't start this shit again." Dean sighed turning to me. When he did and I had his full attention I reached out. Lifting the glass of whiskey out of his hand and into the air. He froze, watching carefully between the glass and me. I flicked my fingers to the right and smashed the glass into the fire place, the alcohol feeding the flame.
"Emily…" Bobby mumbled. "When did…. What."
"I CAN control it." I argued. I lifted my hand towards the bookshelf and felt the adrenaline run through my body, determined to prove myself I lifted four books off the shelf. Letting them hover in the air.
"Emily.. stop." Dean muttered moving to stand in front of me. I stared at the books in front of me. My head beginning to throb again.
"No." I said as I dropped them and then turned, picking up the fire poker from beside the fire place.
"I can control it Dean." I said as I threw the poker across the room and it stuck directly through a large painting on Bobby's wall.
"Stop!" Dean shouted. Breaking my concentration as I went to lift the lamp, it fell to the ground in pieces.
"Dean I can do it!" I argued. He reached up towards my face with a rag off the coffee table.
Shit… I didn't realize I was bleeding again.
"Oh yeah?" He challenged as he held the rag out in front of me. I snatched it from his hands and held it to my face.
"A little nosebleed never hurt anyone."
"Emily. I know you passed out at the lake house… I know you're pushing it too hard. I told you to STOP!"
"Oh whatever!" I argued throwing the rag back at him.
"Hey… wait." Bobby called out getting our attention. Suddenly the house was silent.
"You hear that?" Dean asked catching on.
"Yeah, that's a little too much nothing." Bobby said.
"Sam." I breathed as I raced towards the basement and down the steps, Dean and Bobby behind me, they pushed me aside to open the window.
"What if he's faking?" Dean asked suddenly.
"Faking what?!" I said moving forward.
"Don't Em." Dean warned pushing me backwards. My stomach sank.
"You really think he would?" Bobby asked.
"I think he'd do anything."
Suddenly a loud thud against the wall caused us all to jump.
"That ain't faking." Bobby said as he ripped the door open, he and Dean charged into the room and it took both of them to push him back down on the cot.
"Stop!... What are you doing?!"
"Emily, we're gonna have to tie him down for his own safety." Bobby tried to reason as I cried, leaning against the wall. Sam looked so… afraid. So.. lost. I hated it.
"Dean? You with me? Dean! Before he has another fit." Bobby yelled as Sam finally stopped thrashing. Dean silently shook his head as his attention floated back to Bobby.
"Yeah, yeah. Let's just get it over with."
"Dean." I cried. "Please… It's Sammy." I said as my hand covered my mouth. I stepped out, unable to watch as they chained him to the cot in the center of the room. I moved back up the stairs to the kitchen… waiting for them to come back.
I pulled out my phone and opened my texts. Hands shaking as I typed.
Emily: Judson… its getting really bad. Lillith, and the seals… Sam.
… I stopped. I back spaced the entire message and threw my phone down on the table. Having him here would only complicate things more.
Bobby and Dean made their way up the stairs. Dean stopped to look at me. He reached out and pulled me against his chest, letting me gather myself for a moment longer. Then he pulled me towards the living room
"I'm gonna ask one more time. Are we absolutely sure we're doing the right thing?" Bobby said as we entered.
"Bobby, you saw what was happening to him down there. The demon blood is killing him."
"No, it isn't. We are." Bobby said softly. I looked up to him.
"What?"
"I'm sorry. I can't bite my tongue any longer. We're killing him. Keeping him locked up down there. This cold-turkey thing isn't working. If—if he doesn't get what he needs, soon, Sam's not gonna last much longer… We WEANED Emily off. We knew it would take time."
"No. I'm not giving him demon blood. I won't do it. And unfortunately we don't have the luxury of time." Dean replied stubbornly.
"And if he dies?" Bobby asked exasperated.
"Then at least he dies human!" Dean yells getting in his face.
"Stop! Both of you!" I said moving between them.
"De… De I don't want to lose him."
"Emily, if we give him the blood… he's gone. Okay? This is the only chance he's got."
"But… what if-"
"Emily stop." He cut me off. "I would die for him in a second, but I won't let him do this to himself. I can't. I guess I found my line. I won't let our brother become the monster. And if YOUR Sammy was here right now… he'd agree with me."
I stared at him, knowing again he was right. Even if every bit of me hated that.
"I need some air." I finally said moving towards the back door. I made my way outside and leaned backwards against the door. Taking deep breaths in and out, trying to fill my lungs with air even though they felt constricted and my heart beat at a hundred miles a minute.
I took in a deep breath and held it… but in the silence I heard the rustling of tools.
My eyes flew open and I was instantly on high alert… what if Lillith came to us. What if she's here now. I moved towards the noise in the salvage yard.
… But it wasn't Lillith.
"Sam?" I called out shocked, watching as he broke into a car and was attempting to hotwire it.
"Emily… Emily listen, Dean's lost his mind. Okay. He- He doesn't understand me like you do. He doesn't get us."
"Sam… please. No. We have to back inside."
Suddenly his face changed. He became still… the kindness in his eyes faded in moments.
"No."
"Damn it, Sam. I will yell for them!"
"You won't… because you know I don't belong down there."
"Sam please!" I cried, moving to pull my gun from my waist band. My hand shook as I held it out towards him. He stopped, stood, took two steps toward me… and then. He laughed humorlessly as he looked at my face.
"You won't do it. You can't do it."
"We're trying to help you, Sam."
He leaned down and placed his forehead against the barrel of my gun. My shaking hand beginning to feel numn.
"Then shoot."
I stared at him. My eyes swelling with emotion, my hand shook until it couldn't hold the gun any longer and as I moved to drop it, Sam grabbed it and turned it towards me.
"Don't you scream…"
"Sam." I begged. "Please… Don't do this."
He kept the gun on me as he finished hot wiring the car, starting it and throwing the gun out the window as he drove away, leaving nothing but dust in my face.
"DEAN!" I yelled out as loudly as I could.
I moved to pick up my gun.
"Emily?!" Dean's panicked voice was moving towards me. He rushed forward and held my face in his hands as I continued to shake.
"He.. He's gone… I. I tried to stop him but he. He turned it on me." I looked down at the gun in my trembling hands. Dean pulled it from my hands and shoved it behind his back.
"How the hell did he get out?" Bobby asked shocked.
"I don't know…" I cried.
"Come on." Dean said as he pulled me with him back into the house and we all made our way down to the basement. The door was shut… locked. I ran to the window to see if Sam was inside. Was all of that in my head?!
… But the room was empty.
"How the hell did he get out?" Dean asked repeating Bobby's earlier question as they unlocked the door and we stepped inside.
"Maybe he had help. Room full of busted devil's traps."
"Demons? Ruby." I asked.
"That'd be my guess." Bobby shrugged.
"How did she even touch the door?" Dean asked shaking his head.
"You think she's got the mojo?"
"I didn't think so. I don't know, man."
"What difference does it make? How he got gone ain't as important as where he got gone to."
"Well, I'll tell you one thing. At this point I hope he's with Ruby." I said crossing my arms.
"Why?" Bobby asked confused. I looked up to him and Dean.
"Because killing her's the next big item on my to-do list."
"Yeah. I'm with you there." Dean said as he moved back out of the room and up the stairs. We followed.
"I thought you were on call for angel duty." Bobby argued.
"I am on call. In my car, on my way to murder the bitch." Dean said swiping the keys off the table. I grabbed my jacket. I had waited so long for this moment to come… just the thought of watching the life drain from her face brought me pleasure. I followed Dean out the door and climbed in the front seat.
"Dig the knife out of my bag in the back."
"Nope. Don't need it." I said flatly.
"Emily… let's do this right."
"Dean. Stop the car."
"Em I-"
"STOP. The car, or I will."
Dean rolled his eyes and came to a stop.
He turned towards me and before he could speak I looked up to him, my face only inches from his.
"We will not need that knife because I will not breathe the air on this planet for another day before I personally feel the life drain from her cold stiff corpse… do you understand?"
He didn't answer… he only stared at me in silence, and then turned towards the road and began driving again. My point had been made…and even Dean knew better than to stand in the way of this one. It had been coming for far too long.
…..
…..
…..
"Cops found the Escalade in a ditch outside Elk River." Bobby's voice rang through the speakers on the Dean's phone.
"How far away are we?"
"A couple of hours. I pulled up a weather map, made some calls. There's a town not far from there, Cold Spring. Lighting up with demon sign."
"A good place to look." I sighed.
"Hey, listen." Bobby got our attention again.
"What?" Dean replied.
"Us finding Sam? It's gotta be about getting him back, not pushing him away."
"Right." Dean said apathetically… there was no emotion on his face.
"I know you're mad, Dean. I understand. You got a right to be, but I'm just saying. Be good to him anyway. You gotta get through to him."
Dean hangs up the phone before Bobby could say another word.
"Dean… he's right."
"Emily he just pointed a gun at you."
"I know that Dean… but it's not him... it's the demon blood."
"Yeah." Dean scoffed.
"Since when did you go from being so fucking angry at him to defending him?!"
"… When I realized that I was no better than he was De. He chose demon blood, and I choose booze and pills. I just. I lost myself, and knowing that this is the addiction and not Sam. It makes things different, De."
"Emily… he's dangerous sweetheart, okay. I love him. I would die to protect him, and you both. But think about what you just said. Sam is not calling the shots… demons are. Do not underestimate what he's capable of, do you understand me?"
"I know… He pointed the gun at my face, Dean. I got that message loud and clear."
The rest of the two hour car ride was silent. We finally made it to a hotel we think Sam is staying in… the escalade outside confirmed it. Dean went into the office and made a positive ID with one of his Marshall badges. He waved at me as I sat in the car and I climbed out to follow him inside. We stood in position, cloaking ourselves in the shadows nearby his room.
We stood, waiting for him to leave… as soon as he was out of sight Dean and I made our way into the room. Ruby looked up from the bed she was lounging on, suddenly caught off guard.
"Oh.." I smiled and laughed. "I have been waiting for this."
"What you think you got the juice little bitch?" Ruby said as she stood.
I didn't even lift my hands. I merely smiled as I watched the veins on her face glow red… she struggled to find her breath, and just before I thought she was done for I let her go and dropped her to the ground.
He crawled as she heaved in air.
"See Dean, I'm controlling it." I smiled to him as I walked towards her.
"Emily, stop fucking around." Dean warned.
"Oh no… we're gonna take our time. Let this one be nice and slow. I said leaning down in front of her." I smiled again as I twisted my hand and watched her entire body grow stiff, I held it… and then let her go once more.
"Oh! Man am I getting good at this." I laughed.
"Emily…" Dean warned, looking between Ruby and I. "Do what we came here to do, NOW."
"Fine." I rolled my eyes. I lifted my hand and her body flew against the wall. Her arms out at her side, watching her veins glow red, her eyes filled with terror and her limbs begin to twitch… she was done for.
"STOP!"
Sam's voice caught me off guard and suddenly something shoved me to the ground and I landed hitting my head against the post on the bed. I tried to stand, but I couldn't.
"NO!" Dean called out as he moved… whether it was towards me or Ruby I couldn't tell you.
I began vaguely hearing the struggles of a fight.
"RUBY! Go! NOW!" I could hear Sam scream.
A figure ran past me and out the door, I reached for her, but I couldn't see where my hand was going. Everything was blurry.
"She's poison, Sam!" Dean screamed.
"It's not what you think, Dean… please. Let me explain. Both of you."
Suddenly Sam's voice was in my ear.
"Emily… Em are you okay?" He said pulling me to sit up, my vision slowing getting clearer.
"Sam.. what did you do." I mumbled.
"Look what she did to you. I mean, she up and vanishes weeks at a time, leaves you cracking out for another hit—" Dean begins to dig into Sam.
"She was looking for Lilith."
"That is French for manipulating your ass ten ways from Sunday." Dean said as he shoved Sam aside and pulled me to stand, and then sat me in a chair.
"You're wrong, Dean."
"Sammy please, you're lying to yourself. I just want you to be okay. You would do the same for me. You know you would." I begged him. "If it were Judson… he would never have walked out of this room."
"No… no this is different." He argued.
"Yeah, its worse." Dean replied. As my vision became clear again I could see the demon knife in Sam's hand. He followed my gaze, looking down at the knife and then tossing it onto the bed.
"Just listen for a second. We got a lead on a demon close to Lilith. Come with us, okay Em? Dean? We'll do this together."
"That sounds great. As long as it's you, me and Em. Demon bitch is a dealbreaker. You kiss her goodbye, we can go right now." Dean agreed calmly… too calmly.
"I can't." Sam sighed. Dean turned away from him, nodding his head up and down. I sat… watching. Knowing that wherever this is going it won't be good. "Dean, I need her to help me kill Lilith. I know you can't wrap your head around it, but maybe one day you'll understand. I'm the only one who can do this, Dean."
"I can do it…" I argued weakly.
"Emily, no. You could die." Sam turned to me exasperated. "We have no idea what could happen if you and Lillith have an all out nuclear war."
"No, Sam. You're not the one who's gonna do this… and neither is she." Dean interrupted us.
"Right, that's right, I forgot. The angels think it's you."
"You don't think I can?"
"No. You can't. You're not strong enough."
"Sam! Stop it!" I called out to him.
"And who the hell are you?" Dean challenged.
"I'm being practical here. I'm doing what needs to be done."
"Yeah? You're not gonna do a single damn thing."
"Stop bossing me around, Dean. Look. My whole life, you take the wheel, you call the shots, and I trust you because you are my brother. Now I'm asking you, for once, trust me."
"No. You don't know what you're doing, Sam."
"Yes, I do."
"Then that's worse."
"Why? Look, I'm telling you—"
"Because it's not something that you're doing, it's what you are! It means—" Dean began to yell.
"Dean! Stop!" I cut him off.
"No… let him say it, Em. Go ahead. Say it." Sam said with tears in his eyes.
"Stop… we don't have to do this!" I begged them both. "Please!"
"Say it!" Sam yelled in his face. The room became deathly still.
"…Dean." I whispered.
"It means you're a monster." He said plainly, not even blinking.
Before I could say another word Sam reared back and punched Dean, knocking him to the ground.
"SAM!" I yelled out trying to stand. "Stop!"
I moved to walk toward them, but had to lean against the wall for support. I watched as Dean stood… stared at Sam, and then punched him back.
"STOP!"
The two of them wrestled back and forth on the floor as I yelled, begging them to stop. Each landing one punch, and then another.
"I said STOP!" I yelled once more as I held out my hand and they both grew still. I let them go immediately and watched as they both fell back away from each other. As Sam stood I moved to my knees and towards where Dean sat leaned against the dresser.
"You don't know me. You never did. And you never will."
"Sam! Stop it! This is ridiculous… we're family dammit!"
Sam shook his head and moved to walk out the door.
"You walk out that door, don't you ever come back."
The words fell out of Dean's mouth so easily I wasn't sure this was real… it couldn't be. He knew what those words meant to this family, to Sam… he knew that there was no coming back from this.
I looked up to Sam, tears down my face. Begging him silently not to go as he stopped in the doorway and looked back at us… and without a word he was gone.
I sat against the dresser beside Dean for a long few minutes before either of us moved. I looked up and noted his bleeding hadn't stopped. I reached up with my sleeve and held pressure against the cut on his cheekbone. He flinched slightly.
"Sorry…" I whispered.
"You should have just killed her." He finally mumbled back, not looking at me.
I knew he was right… which is why I didn't know what to say back.
"I'm sorry." I finally mustered.
Dean pulled away from me. Then he stood and walked towards the bed, grabbing the knife. In seconds he was out the door too, leaving me alone in the floor.
… all of a sudden it truly felt like the world was ending.