"Emily." His voice whispered to me, but suddenly I was alone. Standing in the convent as red haze filled the room around us. The same red haze I see when I kill people. The red haze that flows from my body to theirs.
Now it makes me wonder if they feel the same terror I feel at this exact moment as it moved closer to me.
"Emily." His voice was louder now. Two white eyes glowed in the haze. "I've waited a long time for this. You and I together… we will make the world a new place. You are the key, the weapon that will wipe out all those before it. Oh sweet girl, I've been waiting for you."
I stood frozen. Unable to move. Unable to breathe.
Unable to pull myself away as he moved closer to me.
"Emily!" Castiel's voice cut through the room, and suddenly his hand was on my shoulder.
The room spun and I felt as if I was collapsing, but some how I was on my feet once again.
"What.. Wh-" The sudden urge to vomit took over and I bent over on my knees as I heaved over and over again. I finally stood, and found myself alone in a vaguely familiar home, but it was torn to shreds.
"Dean." I called out. "SAM!"
I spun in a panic… looking for anyone. Anything. What the hell happened!
"Emily?!"
I heard his voice, and it was like rain in a drought. I turned towards it and shoved my way past the rubble as quickly as I could.
"Judson!" I called back.
In a rush to close the distance we collided into one another. He was covered in dirt and blood. We stood, each of us shocked that the other was alive. Something between us sparked…
He locked his green eyes on mine as he finally moved, walking forward and grabbing my face. Kissing me as his body touched mine. He pushed me against the wall as I became greedy with his lips. Every sense I had was heightened, and it felt overwhelmingly good to feel his hands on my body. The world around us felt like it was quite literally on fire, but even that could not compare to the heat between our bodies.
"Um. Excuse me." Chuck's voice interrupted us. We turned to look at him. "Could you do that somewhere other than my living room. Please?"
"Chuck." I said peering around Judson. "Get lost."
"Oh come on!" he whined as Judson went back to moving his lips down my neck.
"NOW!" I yelled.
Chuck disappeared only moments before I managed to rip off my shirt, pulling at Judson's next. His mouth moved to my breasts and only stopped when I broke his shirt free and threw it onto the ground. We fell back roughly onto the couch, not caring that the debris underneath us was in our way.
He quickly pulled at my jeans while I yanked at the buckle on his belt, ripping it to the side and pulling his jeans and his underwear down just far enough to get what I needed.
My world erupted as I finally felt him. I had waited weeks… months. Wondering if I'd ever get to do this again. He moaned against my ear as he moved, and the noise sent me over the edge. I rolled us off of the couch and into the floor.
I needed to feel more… deeper. I sat up and moved against him as he dug his fingers into my hips. He moved them up and down, slower then faster until we both came.
My breath was heavy, and my body trying to come down. I leaned forward and laid against him.
"Em…" He breathed in my ear. "I love you."
"I love you too."
I finally rolled off and laid beside him in the dirty floor. He slid his jeans back up, buckling his belt into place as I readjusted my underwear and moved to button up my own jeans.
"Are you okay?" He asked as he rolled up onto his side, leaning over me slightly.
"I don't know…" As the question settled in my mind I suddenly felt the panic.
"Dean… Sam, where are they?!" I asked as I flew forward.
"I don't know. I don't even know how you got here." He responded. "Em, how did you get here?"
"I… I think it was Cas."
"Are you sure? Em… I don't think that's possible."
"I don't know." I said looking around the room, hoping my cell phone was thrown nearby in the rush of ripping off our clothes.
"Emily. He's out of the cage, isn't he?" He asked as he pulled my face back to his. I couldn't bring myself to answer the question, but I knew the look on my face would be answer enough. I pulled away from him and stood. Digging for my phone.
"Em. I need you to talk to me here… did you see him?" He said coming to stand in front of me.
"Why?" I asked defensively, pulling back from him.
"I'm just asking."
"Well don't." I said as I pushed past him and picked up my phone out of the dirt and rubble.
"Emily did something happen?"
I refused to turn and look at him.
"You saw him. Didn't you?" He asked as he put a hand on my arm. I pulled it away.
Why can't he just drop this shit! I don't want to think about him. I don't want to talk about him… I can't. I can't let myself focus on him.
… Because I already feel like he's inside my head.
"What's wrong?" He asked softly, pulling me back as I moved to walk away from him.
Before I could reply I heard the slamming of car doors. Then footsteps on the ground. I'd recognize those footsteps anywhere. Dean.
I pulled away from him again and moved quickly through the hall.
"CHUCK! CAS!" He screamed… "Chuck where is she?!"
"Dean!" I called out as I came around the corner. My eyes met his, and I could see relief flood his face. Sam behind him leaned back against the wall, as if he had ran the entire way here holding his breath. Dean rushed toward me and I only had to take two steps before he had closed the gap.
He wrapped both of his arms around me and lifted me slightly into the air, like he did when I was a kid.
"You scared the hell out of me kiddo." He said softly, and for a second I could have sworn I heard his voice break on the last word.
"Where did you guys go?" I asked looking over his shoulder to Sam. Dean pulled back and set me on the ground.
"Where did YOU go?" Dean countered.
I threw my eyes between him and Sam… I couldn't bring myself to say it out loud. I couldn't tell them I was with him, that I saw him… felt him.
"Here." I only half lied.
"We ended up on a plane." Sam shrugged. "We made an emergency landing and grabbed a car, we thought maybe Chuck would know where you were."
"Emily." Dean said with a more serious tone that I liked. "Did you do that… did you, get Sam and I out of there?"
"I-I don't know… I don't think so." I stuttered in return.
The truth was I had no fucking clue how they ended up on a plane, and more importantly why I wasn't with them. How… how did I get here? Cas? I could have sworn I heard his voice… felt his grasp on my shoulder moments before I felt like Lucifer himself would envelop me. The thought made me shutter. I pulled away from Dean's grip and backed against the wall. I watched as he stared at me, confused at my reaction, I only glanced at him. I knew if I lingered in his gaze he would read me like an open book.
"Sam." Chuck's voice pulled their attention away. He and Judson entered the room.
"Yeah." Sam replied.
"So... you're okay?"
"Well, my head hurts."
"No, I mean—I mean, my—My last vision. You went, like, full-on Vader. Your body temperature was one-fifty. Your heart rate was two hundred. Your eyes were black."
"Your eyes went black?" Dean questioned. I almost wished he wouldn't answer.
"I didn't know." He said looking over his shoulder at us.
Judson moved through the room slowly, until he stood beside me.
"Where's Cas?" Dean asked.
"He's dead. Or gone. The archangel smote the crap out of him. I'm sorry." Chuck answered nervously.
"What?" I gasped. I looked up to Judson, who's face only confirmed the sad truth.
"You're sure? I mean, maybe he just vanished into the light or something." Dean tried to reason.
"Oh, no. He, like, exploded. Like a water balloon of chunky soup."
"… Please stop." I said feeling as if I could puke again.
"Cas, you stupid bastard." Dean grumbled to himself as he ran his hand down his face.
"Stupid? He was trying to help us." Sam replied.
"Yeah, exactly."
"So, what now?"
"I don't know."
"Oh, crap." Chuck whined.
"What?" I asked.
"I can feel them."
"Emily get behind me, now!" Dean said as he grabbed me and backed us against the wall next to a closet door. Judson moved forward slightly, and I barely noticed as he slipped a knife to Dean, who subtly reached over and began to smear his blood onto the back of the door.
"Thought we'd find you here." Zachariah called out just as Dean moved his hand back, using it to grab onto my shirt. I shook as I watched two more angels move from either side of him… One of them stared me down, as if he was planning a way to separate me from my brother. I moved myself as close to Dean's back as I possibly could. Wadding a handful of the back of his shirt in my own hand.
"Playtime's over, Dean. Time to come with us." He said taking two steps forward.
"You just keep your distance, asshat."
"You're upset."
"Yeah. A little. You sons of bitches jump-started judgment day!"
"Maybe we let it happen. We didn't start anything." He shrugged. "Right, Sammy?"
I watched as Sam was swallowed with guilt, unable to hide it from his face.
"Leave him alone." I growled.
"Oh, I see you back there Emily. Don't worry… with a little cooperation all will work out just fine, no need to hide. See. You had a chance to stop your brother, and you couldn't. So let's not quibble over who started what. Let's just say it was— all our faults and move on. 'Cause like it or not it's Apocalypse Now. And we're back on the same team again."
"Is that so?" Dean questioned. "You come near her and there won't be sides left to choose from."
"Come on now Dean. You want to kill the devil. We want you to kill the devil. It's...synergy."
"And I'm just supposed to trust you?" Dean laughed humorlessly. "Cram it with walnuts, ugly."
"This isn't a game, son. Lucifer is powerful in ways that defy description. We need to strike now, hard and fast—before he finds his vessel."
"His vessel? Lucifer needs a meat suit?" Sam questioned shocked.
"He is an angel. Them's the rules. And when he touches down, we're talking Four Horsemen, red oceans, fiery skies- the greatest hits. You can stop him, Dean, but you need our help."
"You listen to me, you two-faced douche. After what you did, I don't want jack squat from you!"
"You listen to me, boy! You think you can rebel against us? As Lucifer did? Well let me make myself very clear… I will lock her up so far away from you that you'll only remember her as if it were a dream. Now that Lucifer is free… she's enough of a threat that I could turn the council." Zachariah became irritable and moved forward, but stopped and looked down at Dean's hand now that he had released his grip on me. I had only tightened mine on him. "You're bleeding?"
"Oh, yeah—a little insurance policy in case you dicks showed up."
"No!" He screamed as Dean slapped his hand against the back of the closet door. Judson moved to shield me from my exposed side as I crouched between Dean and the wall. The flash of light was gone and I looked around the room… they were gone.
"Learned that from my friend Cas, you son of a bitch." Dean said out loud.
"This sucks ass." Chuck whined again as he leaned against the wall.
"What do we do now." I asked as Dean moved forward and I stepped out from behind him.
"We get the hell out of here, now." He said as he pushed us all out towards the rental car parked on the street.
"Emily up front." Dean said as I reached for the back door to slide in next to Judson.
"Dean can-"
"No. Front seat. Now." He demanded, not opening his door until he watched me open mine and sit in the front seat as directed. Part of me wanted to argue with him… but the other part was too scared. He knows it as well as I do. The first chance they get to separate us, they'll take it.
…..
…..
…..
"Hey." Sam called out while opening the motel door.
"Hey." Dean replied as he continued to clean and load every gun we have.
"Here. Hex bags. No way the angels will find us with those. Demons, either, for that matter." Sam said handing one to each of us.
"Where'd you get it?" I asked, almost afraid to hear the answer… surely he wasn't screwing another demon.
"I made it."
"How?" Dean questioned. Sam was hesitant to answer, he waited until Dean turned to look up at him.
"I...I learned it from Ruby."
Dean put down the gun and approached Sam. I crossed my legs as I sat on the edge of the bed, wishing now I had gone next door to see Judson. Although its doubtful Dean would have allowed it.
"Speaking of. How you doing? Are you jonesing for another hit of bitch blood or what?"
"I-it's weird. Uh, tell you the truth, I'm fine. No shakes, no fever. It's like whoever...put me on that plane cleaned me right up."
"Supernatural methadone." Dean nodded suspiciously.
"Yeah, I guess."
"Dean—"
"Sam." Dean interrupted as he turned away. "It's okay. You don't have to say anything."
"Dean, please don't." I sighed.
"Well, that's good. Because what can I even say? "I'm sorry"? "I screwed up"? Doesn't really do it justice, you know? Look, there's nothing I can do or say that will ever make this right—"
"So why do you keep bringing it up?!" Dean yelled. Sam sighed as Dean turned back to face him. I stood off the bed, ready to separate them if I need to. "Look, all I'm saying is, why do we have to put this under a microscope? We made a mess. We clean it up. That's it."
Sam looks between Dean and I and nods his head.
"All right, so, say this is just any other hunt. You know? What do we do first?" Dean asked looking at me, and then back to Sam.
"We'd, uh, figure out where the thing is." I mumbled out loud, sitting back on the edge of the bed.
"All right. So we just got to find...the devil."
The thought of being around him again sent a sharp shiver down my spine and up the back of my neck all at once. I can't… I can't do it.
"When we get there what do we do? Use the knife?" Sam asked. I rubbed my hands against my legs nervously listening to them debate back and forth.
He looked at me, and saw straight into my soul… he called me his weapon. The key to a new world. The more his words haunted my mind the more my hands began to shake.
"Em!" Dean's voice pulled me out of my thoughts. "You with us?"
"Yeah."
"What did I just say…"
"I don't know." I said as I threw my hands up slightly
"You've been quiet all day… you good?" He said as he stepped towards me.
"I'm uh, I- I'm gonna take a shower." I mumbled before turning away from them and moving to the bathroom. I closed the door behind me before either of them could ask questions.
(Third Party POV)
Sam and Dean looked at each other and then back to the door.
"What's that all about?" Sam asked softly.
"She's spooked." Dean answered. "I thought it was the angels, but… I don't know."
"Did you ask the kid? Maybe she said something to him?"
"No. But I'm gonna pop next door and see if he knows something we don't. If she comes out just tell her I ran down to the car or something. I don't want her trying to cover up whatever this is."
"Yeah. Okay." Sam nodded.
Dean walked out the door, and took and immediate right turn. Knocking on the dull red door beside theirs. It took only a few seconds before it opened.
"Hey." Judson answered, confused at his visitor.
"I need to talk to you." Dean said as he pushed his way in. Judson stepped aside and closed the door behind him.
"What's going on?"
"Somethings up with Em. Did she say anything before we got there?"
"Like what?"
"I don't know… how she got there?"
"She uh… she said she thought Cas brought her there." Judson answered sadly as he looked down at the floor and leaned back against the wall.
Dean closed his eyes, giving himself a moment to feel that loss.
"Well. We both know that isn't true." Dean sighed. "How long was she there before us?"
"She wasn't there even an hour before you guys showed up."
"It took us over an hour to get off the plane and get a car… I called her phone a dozen times."
"I don't think she knows, Dean. I mean, maybe whatever pulled you guys outta there jumped time a little too, it wouldn't be the first time."
"Maybe." Dean pondered as he chewed on the inside of his cheek. "What happened at the house?"
"Chuck and I were hiding because Cas told us to. Wanted us to be there when you guys came back, he said. We were down there for a while, but. Then I heard her voice. Calling out for you and Sam… At first I thought maybe it was a trap, but I just. Felt like it was her."
"I thought maybe it was the Zachariah thing, you know. She's scared they'll take her, but the more I think about it, the more I'm pretty sure she clammed up before that when I asked her something."
"Well." Judson sighed. "I mean… there was one thing that was kinda weird. I just thought maybe she was processing things."
"What was it?" Dean asked as he crossed his arms over his chest.
"I asked her about him, Lucifer… I asked if he was out. And she just pulled away from me. Dodging the question. I mean I could tell the answer was yes at that point. But then I asked her if she saw him, and she got defensive fast… almost angry."
Dean processed the information as his eyes darted back and forth across the dirty carpet.
"You think she saw him?"
"Yeah. I do. Or… heard him. Something. Something she doesn't want to talk about."
"I grabbed them… both of them. And I pulled them towards the door, but the light was so bright that we just huddled against each other to protect our eyes. The light was gone just as quickly, and when I opened my eyes Sam and I were on that plane, and she wasn't."
"She was there." Judson nodded. "She had to be."
"Don't bring this up. This conversation never happened." Dean warned him as he turned back towards the door. He opened it and stepped back out, shutting it behind him. He paused. Leaning over the metal railing and looking down at the parking lot from the second floor walkway.
It made sense to him now… whatever she saw. Whatever happened in the convent when Sam and He were on that plane, she needed to tell them, and she needed to do it now. He needed to know HOW to keep her safe, and she was withholding the information to do so.
Zachariah said she was more dangerous because he was free… He knew he had to get it out of her. Before whatever this is festers and grows, and she explodes at the least convenient time.
…..
…..
…..
(Emily's POV)
"I don't think you should leave." I argued as I stood in the parking lot, watching Judson throw his bag into a car he hotwired around the corner and drove back.
"Em. We gotta cover our bases… if the angels know how to find him, then I gotta try."
"They'll kill you." I whispered.
"No, they won't. Castiel wasn't the only friend I've made over the years. I just need to get in and out as quietly as possible, and I have to go alone for that to happen."
I turned my head away from him and crossed my arms as I sat back against the car.
"I don't fucking like this.
"I don't like leaving you… but it's the best way I know to help you." He countered as he stood in front of me. His hands rubbing up and down my shoulders. "Em, look at me."
I refused, keeping my eyes on the road as very few cars passed by. Suddenly his hand moved from my shoulders to the edge of my jeans, running his fingers along the front until they met where they buttoned. He leaned his face against my ear.
"Emily." He whispered. "You can't ignore me forever."
I was determined not to give in… I stood still. My breathing increased slightly, but I refused to let my body respond to his.
Until he began to kiss across my jaw line and down to my neck, nipping at my skin as he went. His hands quickly undid the button on my jeans and pulled down at the zipper with one hand. The other wound its way behind my back and up my shirt. His fingers grazed across from hip to hip and I couldn't stop my breath from hitching in my throat.
The hand that was pulling at my zipper slowly moved back up and he dipped his finger into the edge of my underwear, running it back and forth. Going a little further down every time.
"Don't be mad at me." He breathed into my ear, and it was all I could do not to moan out loud. It came out as a soft whimper instead.
I finally dropped my hands, one grabbing at him through his jeans. The other fisting his hair on the back of his head and pulling on it slightly as I pushed my mouth to his.
"Get in the car." His words were breathless as he pushed me towards the backseat. I slid in with a giggle and he hovered over me, pulling the door closed with his foot.
…..
…..
…..
"Hey." Dean said from the couch as I came back into the room. Sam was flipping through dad's journal.
"Hey." I said awkwardly as I moved to sit on the other end, watching him flip through the channels.
"So he thinks he can get some help up there?" Dean questioned.
"He says he has friends. That he has to try." I said as I rolled my eyes.
"He's trying to help kiddo."
"I know."
"So… you two are all hot and heavy again?"
"What?" I whipped my head around to look at him. He tilted his head to the side and narrowed his eyes at me.
Shit! Abort abort abort… I turned too fast.
"I was asking if the two of you worked things out… but maybe I should be asking something else."
"Maybe you shouldn't." I coughed as I fidgeted and stared back at the TV.
"… Why couldn't you take after Sam instead of me on this ONE thing?" He sighed as he shook his head back and forth.
"Hey!" Sam called out slightly offended.
A knock on the door caused us all to whip our heads around. Dean pulled his gun and Sam walked towards the door. Dean pulled me to sit on the couch behind him as he prepared to stand.
Sam opens the door, and on the other side is a small blonde woman, who appears to be having trouble breathing.
"You okay, lady?" Sam asked confused.
"Sam...is it really you?" She asked breathless. Sam turned to look at us and the woman took one step forward and put her hand on his chest. "And you're so firm."
"Uh, do I know you?" He asked bewildered. She pulled her hand back.
"No. But I know you. You're Sam Winchester. And you're—" She looked past him and into the room at Dean and I. "—not what I pictured. I'm Becky." She shrugged.
I looked at Dean slightly shocked, and slightly offended. What the hell was that supposed to mean?!
Suddenly she pushed past Sam and entered our room.
"Say the word and I'll shoot her." I whispered to Dean, who was concealing his gun behind his back.
"I read all about you guys. And I've even written a few—" She giggled. "Anyway, Mr. Edlund told me where you were."
Dean immediately stood and walked around the couch towards her.
"Chuck?" He questioned. Sam closed the door. I stood, keeping my distance for the moment.
"He's got a message, but he's being watched. Angels. Nice change-up to the mythology, by the way. The demon stuff was getting kind of old."
"Yeah." I scoffed.
"Right. Just, um...what's the message?" Sam asked.
"He had a vision. The Michael sword is on earth. The angels lost it."
"The Michael sword?" Dean asked shocked.
"Becky, does he know where it is?" Sam cut in.
"In a castle, on a hill made of forty-two dogs."
"… the fuck?" I mumbled out loud. Looking up to Sam, are we sure this lady isn't crazy?!
"Forty-two dogs?" Dean questioned.
"Are...you sure you got that right?" I asked her as I finally made my way towards them.
"It doesn't make sense, but that's what he said." She nodded, then suddenly she gasped. "Oh! Is Judson here?! I just LOVE your love story! Its so… full of angst and sarcasm. Oh and the sexual tension! It was like I could feel the way he touche-"
"Okay!" I said loudly stopping her from going any further.
"I think that's enough of that." I laughed, only to cover the panic.
Dean deadpanned at me, I scratched my head and stepped backwards, out of his line of sight.
"I memorized every word that came out of Mr. Edlunds' mouth." She said reaching up to touch Sam's chest again. "For you."
Sam looked at us, panic on his face. It was almost so awkward it was funny.
"Um, Becky, c—uh, can you...quit touching me?" He asked.
"No."
"Okay, time to go Becky. Thanks for the message." Dean smiled as he ushered her back towards the door. "If you left anything out, you know where to find us."
"Yeah, I'll be close by." She winked at Sam as she stepped out. Dean closing the door behind her.
"Wow." Dean mouthed as he shook his head.
…..
…..
…..
I looked out the window, swearing I could hear the sound of the engine coming down the road. I smiled as I watched baby pull into the parking lot, Bobby stepping out as he parked. I moved to the door and stood, waiting as he walked up the stairs and towards our room.
"Hey Uncle Bobby." I said as I wrapped my arms around him.
"There's my favorite girl."
I let him go and he stepped in, Dean stood and moved towards him. Bobby hugged him and slapped him on the back a couple of times.
"Good to see you three in one piece." He said as he walked over and hugged Sam next, who grinned ear to ear at the gesture.
"You weren't followed, were you?" Dean asked as he peeked out the window and the made sure the curtains shut behind him.
"You mean by angels, demons, or Sam's new superfan?"
The reply caught me so off guard that I snorted trying to cover my laugh. Flinging my hand to my mouth.
"You heard." Sam chuckled.
"I heard, Romeo. So... sword of Michael, huh?"
"You think we're talking about the actual sword from the actual archangel?" I asked him.
"You better friggin' hope so." He said as he opened a book and flipped to a painting of Michael surrounded by other angels. Oddly enough he looked like a winged woman and the angels around him more like cherubs. "That's Michael. Toughest son of a bitch they got."
Sam and I exchanged an odd glance. He flipped the page to another painting. Michael still looked like a girl…
"You kidding me? Tough? That guy looks like Cate Blanchett." Dean said, saying my thoughts out loud so I didn't have to.
"Well, I wouldn't want to meet him in a dark alley, believe me. He commands the heavenly host. During the last big dust-up upstairs, he's the one who booted Lucifer's ass to the basement. Did it with that sword." He pointed to it with his hand.
"Well I'll be damned." Dean mumbled as he focused on the weapon.
"Speaking of Lucifer." Bobby said looking up to me. "… Did you see him?"
I looked up to him confused.
"What?" I mumbled.
"Lucifer… did. Did he say anything?"
I panicked as I noted all three of them had their eyes glued to me. I began to feel my body start to shake, much like it did when I stood in front of him.
"Em?" Dean asked softly. I didn't look up to him… I can't let him know.
"I don't know!" I finally snapped back. "Ask one of them."
I gestured to the brothers on either side of me before moving away from the table and towards the small fridge. I picked up a bottle of water and spun the cap off as fast as I could. Tipping it to my lips and waiting, praying that one of them says something, anything else.
"So if we can find it..." Dean finally mused. I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding.
"We can kick the devil's ass all over again. All right. So, where do we start?" Sam asked.
"Divvy up and start reading—try and make sense of Chuck's nonsense."
I turned and watched as Dean pulled up a chair and Sam moved to grab the stack of old books Bobby had brought in. He stood there, staring at them.
"Kid? You all right?" Bobby asked, also noting his hesitation.
"No, actually. Bobby, this is all my fault. I'm sorry." Sam said turning to face him.
"Sam..." Dean warned.
Bobby doesn't know… no one but us knows. No one else needs to know.
"Lilith did not break the final seal. Lilith was the final seal."
"Sam, stop it." Dean interrupted. But Sam just kept going…
"I killed her, and I set Lucifer free."
"…You what?" Bobby asked in disbelief.
"You guys warned me about Ruby, the demon blood, but I didn't listen. I brought this on."
Dean looked down at the table. I watched as Bobby stood and walked toward Sam.
I moved closer to them out of instinct… feeling the tension between them from across the room. Surely Bobby would be the more reasonable one out of us all. Right?
"You're damn right you didn't listen. You were reckless and selfish and arrogant."
"I'm sorry."
"Oh, yeah? You're sorry you started Armageddon? This kind of thing don't get forgiven, boy. If, by some miracle, we pull this off...I want you to lose my number. You understand me?"
"Uncle Bobby stop!" I yelled out, shocked at the amount of disgust in his voice. The look on Sam's face was indescribable. I would give anything to fix it.
"Emily stay out of it." Dean called, not bothering to look up from the table.
"You're staying out of it enough for the both of us." I chastised him. He looked up and warned me silently, telling me to tread carefully.
"There's an old church nearby." Sam mumbled. "Maybe I'll go read some of the lore books there."
"Yeah. You do that." Bobby scoffed as he turned away from him.
"Sam…" I looked up to him, but he was already turning and walking out the door. He shut it behind him. I stood and watched as Dean kept his eyes buried to the table, Bobby looking at him for his reaction.
"I can't believe you just did that." I mumbled, shocked at Bobby's behavior. I haven't seen him treat us this way since he and Daddy had that fight all those years ago.
"Emily. Stop." Dean warned again.
"No! Dean… you said it yourself. He was strung out! It wasn't him, it was the demon blood and yeah I'm angry at him too for choosing that bitch over me every chance he got. I am, okay? But dammit Dean he needs us right now."
"Emily… he made his bed, and he'll lay in it."
"… You refused to let me lay in my bed." I shot back. "Both of you."
"That's different." Dean argued.
"Is it all that different?" I said as my eyes watered. "Dean… I killed dozens of people. Demons, humans. People who were just in my way. And you barely blinked an eye or said a word about it." I turned and looked to Bobby. "I chose pills over your help and love every day I lived under that roof. But you didn't turn you back on me."
"That's enough!" Dean said as he stood. Turning and pointing a finger in my face. "Do you want me to tell you how angry I was? Huh? How much it ate at me to know that I raised you better… but you still did something so damn stupid?"
"Dean." I swallowed. "I knew you were angry, but you knew that I needed you, and you pushed that aside. I am so angry at him… He has hurt me in more ways than I can explain right now, but I think we should focus on getting Lucifer back in his box, and hash this out after. It's going to take all of us to pull this off and you know it."
"Yeah… Yeah it will. So why don't you talk to me about him, huh? Tell me what you know about Lucifer, maybe you can help us figure out the answer here." Dean challenged.
I stared at him speechless.
He didn't blink.
He didn't move.
He watched… trying to find a way to get into my head and understand.
It took me a long moment but I finally chalked up the courage to look away and push past him towards the door.
"Em, stop." He sighed as he turned and grabbed my arm.
"Let me go!" I demanded as I ripped it away from him.
"Em." He said much softer as I backed towards the door. He took a step every time I did. "Kiddo what's going on? You gotta talk to me."
"I'm going to find Sam." I said as I spun and grabbed the door, flinging it open and rushing out, pulling it shut behind me. I moved quickly as I trotted down the steps, across the parking lot and to the edge of the roadway. I looked both ways, and barely spotted him as he walked.
"Sam!" I yelled out, grabbing his attention. He stopped and turned towards me as I walked briskly in his direction. The gap between us began to close as he took some steps in my direction. Once we were only a few feet away we both stopped.
He looked down at me. He was so broken… so lost.
Dammit I am angry at him… but I would kill someone if it meant he never looked at me this way again.
"I messed it up big, huh kiddo?" He slightly joked. I walked forward and closed the distance between us as I wrapped my arms around him and squeezed.
"We'll fix it, Sammy." I mumbled against him.
"I don't know, Em. I don't know if I can fix it this time." He sniffled.
"We will. I promise."
"Em, you don't have to do this." He said as he pulled back and looked down at me.
"Do what?"
"You don't have to be nice… I know your angry. I know. I did things… I. I can't even think about."
I crossed my arms and looked down at my feet.
"Kiddo I'm so sorry… I never meant to hurt you. I- I wouldn't have pulled the trigger. I couldn't. Okay? Please… tell me you know that."
"Sam don't." I whispered.
"No. Em, I have to… I have to own up to my mistakes. I have to take responsibility for that."
"I don't wanna go back there. I don't want to think about it."
I slowly moved to walk forward, he followed my lead and walked beside me, pulling his arm over my shoulder, and I wrapped mine around his waist as we walked slowly in sync.
"Okay." He sighed. "Just know… I'm sorry, and I love you."
"I love you too, Sammy." I said as I squeezed him slightly. "Bobby's being an ass… just. Let him cool off. He'll be fine."
"No, he's right Em. I deserved that."
"… None of you hung me out to dry over my mistakes. My addiction. The blood on my hands."
"It's different kiddo."
"Is it?" I stopped and turned to him. "Is it so different?"
Sam looked at me for a long minute, unsure of how to answer.
"Regardless of whether it is or it isn't… that's how they feel about it. And you can't argue with them about it. They have every right to feel that way."
"… Bobby had no right to tell you to leave."
"Sometimes it's easier to just be alone."
"I've never seen him speak to any of us like that…" I said as I shook my head. "It's almost like. It wasn't him."
"Yeah… I know." Sam sighed.
I stopped. My feet glued to the pavement underneath them.
"Sam…" I mumbled. He turned back to me, confused. "It's not him."
He still stared at me with confusion, but suddenly I saw it click in his head.
"Dean." He finally said. "Go, now!"
Sam and I ran back towards the motel as quickly as we could. We hadn't gotten far, I hoped that maybe Dean picked up on it… Maybe he figured it out too.
Or maybe he was too angry to notice.
The motel came into sight just as I watched a woman and a man step into our room.
"Shit!" I said as I pushed my legs to move faster. Sam was ahead of me, but not by much. Once he reached the door, the threw his weight behind his shoulder and busted it open. I charged inside behind him to find Dean being beaten and Bobby laid in the floor beside them, blood pooling around him.
"Dean!" I screamed. The woman turned towards us.
"Heya, Sammy. You miss me? 'Cause I sure missed you… the little bitch not so much."
"Meg?" Sam asked in shock. She grinned at him.
I raised my hand as she charged towards us, just as I got a grip on her vessel she smoked out. I turned to the demon who was beating Dean against the floor.
"Get off!" I screamed, and with that the demon was thrown against the wall and unable to move as he gasped for air. Dean moved to stand, grabbing the knife as he did and then he plunged it forward into the demon's chest.
I released and watched his body fall to the floor.
"Em get the car!" Dean yelled as he kneeled back down to the floor where Bobby was bleeding out.
"Bobby!" I cried. Knowing the last thing I said to him wasn't kind…
"Go! Now!" Dean said as he tossed the keys at me. Sam moved to help him lift as I rushed down the steps and got behind the wheel. I backed out of the parking space and pulled up on the edge of the sidewalk next to the steps, getting out and opening the door just as Dean and Sam moved to lay him in the backseat.
Dean rushed us to the hospital as fast as possible, blowing every red light between here and there. Finally he skidded into the entrance of the ER.
"Need some help here!" Dean screamed as he and Sam pulled him out of the backseat. A handful of nurses rushed towards us.
"What happened?" The first one to reach us asked, helping lift Bobby's weight.
"He was stabbed." I called back to them.
"Can we get a gurney?" She called out, within seconds they were lifting him onto a gurney and rolling him through the doors.
"Hang on, Bobby. Hang in there. You're gonna be okay." Dean said running along side them, until a nurse stopped him.
"Just wait here."
"No please… We can't just leave him." I begged.
"Just don't move. I've got questions." She replied before disappearing down the hall.
"Em, we got to go." Dean said as he began to walk backwards to the door.
"No. No way, Dean!" I argued.
"The demons heard where the sword is." He said as his lip quivered.
"We got to get to it before they do, if we're not too late already. Come on!" Sam yelled pulling my hand to follow behind them.
Every inch of my heart ached, begged us to turn around.
I leaned against the seat as I cried.
"C'mon." Sam said as he reached back and gestured for me to climb over and sit between them. I curled against him and for the first time in a long time I had MY Sammy back. The Sam who's hug could cure even the worst of days.
Dean reached over and squeezed my shoulder. I looked up and watched a single tear fall off of his cheek.
"Do, do you think he heard me? He was possessed right?"
"Yeah, but… he fought it." Dean sniffed. "He stabbed himself, so the demon wouldn't stab me."
I leaned over and wrapped my arm around his neck, careful to stay out of his way of the wheel. He squeezed me with one arm and drove with the other.
"He loves you, so much." I mumbled.
"He loves us Em, all of us."
…..
…..
…..
"You ready?" Dean asked as I tapped my mag before pushing it into my gun and making sure I had two knives at easy reach.
"Yeah." I nodded.
"Sam, we keep her between us at all times." He said looking up, Sam nodded in return.
We moved towards Daddy's old storage unit. Dean and Sam both lifted their shotguns as I moved forward and pulled open the door, moving in between the two of them again.
We stopped at the sight of bodies in the floor.
"I see you told the demons where the sword is." Zachariah called from behind us. We turned and two more Angels moved on either side of him.
Dean took one step forward and towards me, making sure I was covered. Sam stayed behind us, watching for either of the two other angels to make their move from one side or the other.
"Oh, thank god. The angels are here." Dean said with a roll of his eyes.
"And to think...they could have grabbed it any time they wanted." He said as he waved his hand towards the door. "It was right in front of them."
"What do you mean?" Sam asked.
My stomach churned… what if I was the weapon. A weapon… they key to Lucifer's plan, can he do that?! Can he use the sword?
… am I the sword?
"We may have planted that particular piece of prophecy inside Chuck's skull, but it happened to be true. We did lose the Michael sword. We truly couldn't find it. Until now. You've just hand-delivered it to us."
I moved forward and pressed myself against Dean's back. The panic was too much, I had to tell him… I had to say it now before Zachariah does.
"He said I was his weapon." I whispered in his ear. "Lucifer… he told me I was the key."
My voice trembled and broke at the end of the word.
"We don't have anything." Dean growled. His body tense and ready to fight.
"It's you, chucklehead. You're the Michael sword, Dean."
"… What?" I gasped… suddenly wishing that it WAS me.
Not Dean… no. Not Dean.
Dean stared forward confused.
"What, you thought you could actually kill Lucifer? You simpering wad of insecurity and self-loathing? No. You're just a human, Dean. And not much of one."
"What do you mean, I'm the sword?"
"You're Michael's weapon. Or, rather, his...receptacle."
"I'm a vessel?"
"You're the vessel. Michael's vessel."
"The hell he is! You stay away from him!" I yelled as I pushed forward, Dean grabbed me at the wrist and gripped it tightly. Telling me without words to hold back, don't give them a reason to react.
"How? Why—why me?" Dean interrupted before Zachariah could respond to me.
"Because you're chosen! It's a great honor, Dean."
"Oh, yeah. Yeah, life as an angel condom. That's real fun. I think I'll pass, thanks."
"Joking. Always joking. Well...no more jokes."
Zachariah raised one hand, and pointed his finger like a gun, first at Dean, then at me… and quickly he moved it to Sam.
"Bang."
There was a loud crunch and then the sound of Sam crying out as he fell to the ground.
"STOP!" I screamed.
"You son of a bitch!" Dean yelled back at him.
"Keep mouthing off, I'll break more than his legs. I am completely and utterly through screwing around. The war has begun. We don't have our general. That's bad. Now, Michael is going to take his vessel and lead the final charge against the adversary. You understand me?"
The wind whipped around us.
"Emily stop." Dean growled.
"You understand this…" I said as I moved towards Zachariah. Using my hands to hold the angel on either side of him frozen in place. "You stay the fuck away from my family!"
"Emily Anne! Stop!" Dean yelled as he came up behind me.
"Think before you act, Emily. How many humans die in the crossfire of the apocalypse… a million? Five million? Ten? If Lucifer goes unchecked, and has you at his side… all of them die. You will be the reason this planet roasts alive."
I shuddered at the thought. It was almost like I could feel him, feel the heat in my veins, I was losing my grip… the two angels fell to the ground and stood again slowly. Dean who had a hand on my shoulder pulled me to stand behind him again.
"There's a reason you're telling me this instead of just nabbing me. You need my consent. Michael needs my say-so to ride around in my skin." Dean said, giving us the upper hand.
"Unfortunately, yes."
"Well, there's got to be another way."
"There is no other way. There must be a battle. Michael must defeat the serpent. It is written."
"Yeah, maybe. But, on the other hand... Eat me. The answer's no."
"Okay. How about this? Your friend Bobby—we know he's gravely injured. Say yes, and we'll heal him. Say no, he'll never walk again."
I looked between Sam and Dean with panic on my face.
"No." Dean answered looking away from me and back to Zachariah.
"Then how about we heal little Emily there from...stage-four stomach cancer?"
I doubled over with the worst pain I'd ever felt in my life... coughing, blood splattered onto my hand.
"No." He growled.
"Then let's get really creative. Uh, let's see how...Sam does without his lungs." Sam began to gasp for air. I moved to crawl over to him, but the pain was too much. "Are we having fun yet? You're going to say yes, Dean."
"Just kill us." Dean shrugged, but I could see the subtle shake of hands. The white knuckles. He can't keep this bluff for long.
"Kill you? Oh, no. I'm just getting started."
Dean falls to his knees and Sam begins to twitch.
"Stop!" I screamed.
It echoed off of the walls, glass shattered around us.
Suddenly the pain was gone, and I stood… Sam finally sucking in air behind me.
"Em…" Dean coughed.
Before I could react there was a bright light on the other side of the room. We watched as one of the angles collapsed with a hole in his throat.
That wasn't me…
Something moved out of the shadows and into the dim light.
"Cas." I gasped, happier to see him than I've ever been before.
Castiel turns and fights the second angel, stabbing him in the back. The same bright light flashed as he fell to the ground. He walks closer to us.
"How are you..." Zachariah mumbled.
"Alive? That's a good question. How did they end up on that airplane? Another good question. 'Cause the angels didn't do it. I think we both know the answer, don't we?"
"No. That's not possible."
"It scares you. Well, it should. Now, put these siblings back together and go. I won't ask twice."
Zachariah vanished and we all took a deep breath as we stood. Shocked as the angel stood before us, unscathed.
"You three need to be more careful. Especially you, Emily."
"Yeah, I'm starting to get that. Your frat brothers are bigger dicks than I thought."
"I don't mean the angels. Lucifer is circling his vessel. And once he takes it, those hex bags won't be enough to protect you."
Cas lifted a hand to both Sam and Dean's chest and they gasped momentarily. Then he moved towards me lifting two fingers against my sternum. The pain was short lived but damn it was intense, I pulled back out of instinct.
"What the hell was that?" Dean asked as he took deep breaths.
"An Enochian sigil. It'll hide you from every angel in creation, including Lucifer."
"What, did you just brand us with it?" I sighed as I felt the ache subside.
"No. I carved it into your ribs."
I looked up to him, and the sound of his voice calling my name in that convent rang through my ears.
"Hey, Cas, were you really dead?" I asked. "I… I thought you were the one who pulled me away."
"Yes." He answered simply.
"Then how are you back?" Sam asked, but instead of replying he simply vanished into thin air.
"Nice chat." I sighed leaning against the wall.
"Get in the car, we need to go check on Bobby." Dean said as he reached out his hand and pulled me toward the door. We piled in, Sam asked to sit in the backseat so he could sleep for a while. I imagine he's pretty exhausted… I think we've all been up for nearly two days straight.
We could all use a nap.
I leaned my head back as I shrunk down into the passenger seat, my eyes getting heavy.
"Hey kiddo." Dean said softly as he reached over and squeezed my leg. "You awake?"
"Sort of." I said pulling myself back up to face him.
"Emily we have to talk."
I turned to look out the windshield instead… I couldn't reply. What would I say? No? He wouldn't accept that as an answer.
"Em, I'm gonna tell you what I think I know… and you just shake your head. Yes or No. Okay?"
I nodded.
"You were left behind, in the convent. You were there by yourself."
I nodded up and down, pulling my knees up… I felt like I was going to go back there. Everything in me began to cringe.
"I think you saw him."
I sat still as a rock. Feeling something wet from my eyes spill over onto my face.
"Em?"
I nodded, very lightly.
"He talked to you… He said something to you about being a weapon? You whispered it to me, he said you were the key?"
Suddenly images of burning cities and the cries of dying people flashed in my mind.
"Stop." I begged.
"Kiddo, you gotta let me in. You gotta tell me what happened so I can fix it."
"I can't… I don't wanna go back there." I said as my voice trembled, barely able to get the words out.
"Emily, he can't touch you." Dean said as he reached over and grabbed my hand. "Feel that? That's me. He will not touch you as long as I live, I will never let that happen."
"He. He- he wasn't touching me with his hands." I stuttered. "It was like… he crawled inside of my head. The red haze… it was everywhere, it was him."
"Why didn't you run?"
"I couldn't." I cried. "I couldn't turn away from him, it was like I had no control… but. Part of me didn't want to run. It was like I was being pulled closer to him."
I pulled my hands through my hair, just the thought of having to be near him again made me want to crawl into a sewer, I would rather be anywhere else.
"Emily, what else did he say?"
I felt my body begin to shake, starting in my legs and moving its way up. I rocked back and forth, trying to gain some sense of control over my body before I fell apart.
"He said together we would make a new world." I finally whispered.
"I'm scared, Dean." I finally turned to look at him as I cried. "I don't want to be a weapon."
He slowed the car and pulled off to the side of the road.
"Emily look at me." He said as he grabbed my chin and pulled my face up. "YOU get a choice. YOU get to decided what you are and what you are not. What you will or you will not do. If that asshole Michael has to have permission to ride my ass into battle, then something tells me that Lucifer can't command you without yours."
"We don't know that." I whispered back.
"We don't know anything kiddo. You're kind of a mystery, but I have to go with what I do know, and piece the rest of it together form there. I know that you are the strongest person on earth. YOU get to decide what happens to you, not him."
"I feel like I'm losing my mind, Dean. Like… he's in there somewhere. Waiting… watching me."
"It's a trick Em. He's trying to scare you."
"Its working." I said as I reached up and wiped my face.
"You stay on my ass. From here on out… day and night. You get my back and I'll get yours, okay? No one gets to choose but us. WE choose."
I nodded my head up and down. He put baby back in drive and pulled back out onto the road. I laid in the seat, my head against his leg.
We can choose… but. What if those choices have unbearable consequences?
…..
…..
…..
"When are you coming back?" I asked quietly into the phone as I stood in the corner, my back to the walls, eyes scanning the busy halls as people passed by me.
"Soon babe. I'm just waiting to here back from a couple more people… Cas called. I think he's got something he wants to tell me, I'm going to try and meet with him before I come back."
I sighed… it was too long. Too far away. I needed him here.
"Em?" He asked noting my silence.
"I'm just scared."
"I know, and I'll do whatever I can to get us the answers to make this less scary okay?"
"It's literally the devil… I don't think you can make him any less scary."
"Stay close to Sam and Dean. You know they won't let anyone near you… trust them."
"I do."
"I love you… if I get the chance I'll send you something dirty later." He teased. I grinned ear to ear and blushed at the thought.
"Don't tease me, just please me."
"You like it better when I do both."
Damn him…
"Goodbye Judson…"
"Bye baby." He laughed.
I closed the phone and moved back towards Bobby's room.
"Unlikely to walk again?! Why, you snot-nosed son of a bitch! Wait till I get out of this bed!" I heard Bobby yell as I walked down the hall. Then I saw the doctor flee from his room, leaving the door open. I closed it as I walked in. Sam and Dean stood by the window, just taking in the news if I had to guess.
"You believe that yahoo?" Bobby grumbled.
"Screw him. You'll be fine." Dean agreed.
"So, let me ask the million-dollar question. What do we do now?" Sam asked.
"Well... We save as many as we can for as long as we can, I guess. It's bad. Whoever wins, heaven or hell, we're boned." Bobby shrugged from the bed.
"What if we win?" Dean asked, I looked up to him. He seemed so sure of his words. "I'm serious. I mean, screw the angels and the demons and their crap apocalypse. Hell, they want to fight a war, they can find their own planet. This one's ours, and I say they get the hell off it. We take 'em all on. We kill the devil. Hell, we even kill Michael if we have to. But we do it our own damn selves."
"And how are we supposed to do all this, genius?"
"I got no idea. But what I do have is this family, a GED, and a give-'em-hell attitude, and I'll figure it out."
I smiled at his confidence, he was always my hero for this exact reason.
He never quit on me.
"You are nine kinds of crazy, boy."
"I'm in." I said from across the room, a small smile on my lips. Dean smiled back.
"Listen, you stay on the mend. We'll see you in a bit." Dean said as he walked towards me and the door I was standing near.
"Sam?" Bobby said, stopping me in my tracks as I watched Sam turn back. I stood outside the door and listened. "I was awake. I know what I said back there. I just want you to know that...that was the demon talking. I ain't cutting you out, boy. Not ever."
My eyes watered as I heard Sam let out a relieved sigh.
"Thanks, Bobby."
"You're welcome. I deserve a damn medal for this, but...you're welcome."
I stepped back in and kissed him on the cheek.
"Its no medal, but it'll do." He said turning towards me as I followed Sam back out the door.
"You know, I was thinking, Dean—maybe we could go after the Colt." Sam said as we stepped out into the night air and walked towards the car.
"Why? What difference would that make?"
"Well, we could use it on Lucifer. I mean, you just said back there—"
"I just said a bunch of crap for Bobby's benefit." Dean scoffed as he stopped in the middle of the road. I turned and looked up at him, surprised. "I mean, I'll fight. I'll fight till the last man, but let's at least be honest. I mean, we don't stand a snowball's chance, and you both know that. I mean, hell, Sam you of all people know that."
Dean shook his head and walked forward.
"Dean..." Sam called out, Dean turned back and looked at him. "Is there something you want to say to me?"
"Let's not do this… please." I said as I stepped forward. "We don't have to do this now."
"No, Em we do." Sam replied. "We gotta get it out in the air."
"I tried, Sammy." Dean sighed. "I mean, I really tried. But I just can't keep pretending that everything's all right. Because it's not. And it's never going to be. You chose a demon over your own family— and look what happened."
"I would give anything—anything—to take it all back."
"I know you would. And I know how sorry you are. I do. But, man... I depended on the most. And you let me down in ways that I can't even..." Dean stopped, shaking his head and looking down at his feet. I fidgeted uncomfortably as I listened. "I'm just—I'm having a hard time forgiving and forgetting here. You know?"
"What can I do?" Sam practically begged.
"Honestly? Nothing. I just don't...I don't think that we can ever be what we were. You know?"
"Dean, stop." I mumbled.
"I just don't think I can trust you."
With those words hanging in the air over Sam's head, I watched them both climb into the car, Sam again moved to sit in the back seat. I wanted to be mad, I wanted to yell at them both, I wanted to slap them silly for thinking that anything could tear our family apart.
… But the truth was I knew a long time ago that things had changed, and there was no going back on that.