An Incomplete Potter Collection ch Collection 5
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Harriet the Vampire Slayer
Harry in the Chamber
Harry vs Dragon
Houses of Hogwarts
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Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
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Story: [Harriet the Vampire Slayer]
(Harry Potter/Buffy the Vampire Slayer Crossover)
Summary: When Harriet Potter fulfilled the Prophecy and lost her magic, she wasn't planning on getting involved with Fate and its schemes once again.
Genre: A bit of Drama, perhaps.
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Harriet Potter stared with unseeing eyes at the book in front of her.
The Watcher, as he called his title, seemed very enthusiastic about telling her about how vampires were real and that demons walked among them. He was also very insistent on the fact that Harriet was the Chosen One, destined to stand alone against the darkness.
Harriet would've laughed at him, denying the possibility of some destiny-thing screwing up her life twice over, but not long ago she'd realized that she could easily bend steel with her bare hands. In fact, before the Watcher showed up, she'd been trying to tie a knot using a metal spoon, and had been making disturbingly quick process.
So maybe destiny was just as much of a bitch as she'd been fearing, and maybe destiny thought that it was funny to ruin Harriet's life by forcing her into fight after fight that she wanted nothing to do with.
Alright, she'd probably wanted to kill Voldemort, for orphaning her at least, but she'd been equally happy to consider killing off Dumbledore for putting her with the Dursleys, and she'd hated the Ministry ever since her Third Year at Hogwarts when she'd both encountered Dementors and realized that the Ministry was perfectly fine with condemning an innocent man to Hell on Earth without a trial.
So yeah, she'd pretty much been planning on taking off and never returning to Britain, when Dumbledore had finally decided to drop the prophecy on her.
It'd taken her two months to find Voldemort, it'd taken her two minutes to kill him, it'd taken her two days to explain to the Wizarding World that to do it she'd burnt out her magic and that it would never recover, and it'd taken her all of half an hour to pack all her belongings at Hogwarts and leave for the streets of London since she knew that muggles and squibs didn't have any actual legal rights in the Wizarding World.
The fact that the Weasleys weren't willing to even talk about her once it'd been found out that she was no longer magical and that Hermione had guiltily sided with Hogwarts over their friendship, didn't actually hurt as much as it probably should've.
She'd spent most of those first two months coming to hate everything to do with magic, after all.
Still, from what she'd seen, a new Dark Lord would be rising to Voldemort's place within the next decade, and the Ministry would deny their existence until it couldn't disprove it any longer, and Dumbledore would find some other child to fight his battles for him, instead of actually changing how the children in his school were raised until they actually learned to be decent human beings before he released them upon the world.
And not a single one would consider blaming Albus bloody Dumbledore.
Was she bitter? Oh, maybe a little bit. But it was a kind of passive disgust, rather than an active hatred towards those she left behind.
So, now some guy had shown up out of nowhere to her after she'd woken up one day with super strength, and was telling her that she had a new destiny to fulfill, and that this one would quite likely also lead to her imminent demise. And that this one was also something that she could only accomplish alone.
"Have you ever heard of Hogwarts?" She finally asked the man.
The Watcher blinked, looking confused. "No, can't say I have. A bit of a silly name though."
"Then I suppose you've never heard of the Wizarding World... or Voldemort." She shook her head. "Just take my word for it, Mr Watcher. I'm done. I've fought, I've killed, I've nearly died, and I've gotten the scars to prove it. You want me to fight vampires? Fine, I'll fight vampires, but I'll be doing it my way."
The man frowned at her. "I highly doubt that one of your age would know how to-..." He began.
"I fought a troll when I was eleven, and later that same year, killed a man in self-defense. You want to speak with me of 'experience'? I've faced a sixty-foot basilisk with a sword when I was twelve, I've fought off Dementors at thirteen, I've out-flown a dragon at fourteen, I've been tortured, I've been beaten, I've been sexually assaulted, and when I was sixteen I ripped out my magic, a part of my soul, and slung it into the face of the man who murdered my parents." She stared calmly at the Watcher. "And then the only place I've ever called home turned its back on me, because without magic, I was worthless." She shook her head. "If you want me to kill vampires, then I'm going to wipe out their species and make it impossible for them to once again gain a foothold on the surface of the Earth. But don't tell me that I stand alone against the darkness, because if you try to put me into that situation, I'll be assuming that that's what you do to all of the Chosen Ones, and that that is a good enough reason for me to wipe out your entire organization."
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Story: [Harry in the Chamber]
Summary: Harry approaches his encounter with the basilisk a bit more logically, and comes up with a Plan.
Genre: Action, Adventure, Humor
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Harry crouched down behind a pillar, hearing Tom cursing Fawkes as the basilisk hissed in agony.
Harry's day hadn't really been very good from the get-go, but this Chamber-stuff was a little bit over the top.
Shy girls getting kidnapped, Professors trying to turn him brain-dead, ceilings caving in, basilisks being unleashed on his person... Harry James Potter was having a distinctly crappy day, and that was not even accounting for the fact that he'd had gotten very little sleep the previous night, had risen to start the day far too early, didn't have Hermione around to help convince Ron to study before their final exams for the year, and had been on the receiving end of a very stubborn headache ever since he'd rolled out of bed and hit his head on the floor.
Basically, his day had already been common-place miserable before Ginny had gone and gotten herself kidnapped, and was as such by now just generally a horrible day to be alive on.
"You can still hear and smell! Kill him! Kill the boy!" Tom commanded the magically ancient, and more than a bit gigantic, snake.
And what had Harry gotten to help him on his quest? Had Dumbledore 'Flamed' in along with Fawkes, who'd previously proven that it could do just such a thing when the Headmaster had made use of that ability to escape from the aurors through the wards of Hogwarts? Had Dumbledore shown him the might of 'the only wizard that You-Know-Who ever feared'?
No. Fawkes had appeared with an old hat. Sure, it was the Sorting Hat, so it was an old magical hat of at least some sentience, but that didn't make it any more useful for the situation.
Unless, of course, the reason that the basilisk was trying to kill him was not because Tom had ordered it to, but because it was old and bitter and wanted to be Sorted into one of the Hogwarts Houses.
But, even then, why couldn't Fawkes had been sensible enough to drop it onto the basilisk's head whilst he was still up there clawing the snake's eyes out? It wasn't like Harry was tall enough to properly drape the hat over the deadly sneak's head anyway.
All in all, Harry was feeling mightily disillusioned by the 'aid' he was receiving from the side of the Light. Because even if Fawkes destroyed the death-inducing eyes, it wasn't like Harry knew anything about killing basilisks even if he could see them.
Maybe it'll try to eat me and choke to death? Harry mused silently from where he was hidden.
Frankly though, he figured that if anyone should be fed to the snake, it should either be Lockhart – for being a prick – or Ginny – for causing this whole mess. Unfortunately, he'd gone in here to save Ginny, and her body was the only body other than his own that was available to him at this time, making the idea a somewhat moot point.
Harry certainly didn't look forward to dying, but he'd rather not sacrifice his closest friend's little sister on a harebrained scheme that was highly unlikely to succeed. And that wasn't including the unlikely possibility of him actually figuring out how to feed her to the snake in the first place.
The only other time that Harry had actually fought a being so much larger than him had been when he and Ron rescued Hermione from a troll – they'd been too busy running away from the acromantulas to actually worry about fighting them. Considering how Harry had barely been able to distract the damn thing, and that trolls were relatively small and non-dangerous in comparison to basilisks, his chances of doing something similarly heroically foolish and get away with it now were very very low. Probably in the negatives actually.
And it wasn't as if the basilisk carried around a convenient club that he could drop on its head and render it unconscious with.
Though, if he lifted Ginny's body through magic... he might be able to feed her to the snake before it ate him. Maybe.
There were quite a few pillars which looked heavy enough to work as an impromptu replacement for the troll's club, but he'd only gotten into this mess on his own because of the inherent instability of ancient – magically reinforced or not – ceilings. Which meant that he didn't want to risk the structural integrity of the ceiling he was currently placed under without a very good cause.
Funnily enough, he probably could kill the basilisk now that he thought about it, if he actually had his wand and was able to lure it to the opposite side from the entrance before caving in the ceiling on it.
But Tom had his wand.
Harry had a magical hat, his robes, his clothes, his underwear, his shoes, his socks, and his glasses. He also had a headache and sleep-deprivation, but those weren't really things worthy of remembering for an inventory-check.
He made a careful note to find some way to make sure that he never got his wand stolen from him again in the future. Though exactly how Tom had managed to grab it when he was clearly incorporeal was something that he honestly couldn't understand at all.
Wait, if Tom could grab stuff, couldn't Tom himself be grabbed? Or punched? Or kicked in the balls?
Never let it be said that Harry didn't at least pay attention to how to fight dirty, and that he couldn't recall things that he'd almost forgotten when faced with a life-or-death situation.
He needed to sneak around the basilisk, sneak straight up to Tom, kick Tom in the balls – or otherwise disarm him – and then use his wand to make the ceiling cave in on the basilisk. After that, he would probably need to get Ginny really far away from the Chamber before the rest of the ceiling caved in on them, and hopefully Ron would've cleared a path for them to escape through.
It wasn't a very Gryffindor-like plan, consisting as it did of both sneaking and cowardly escape, but Harry believed it to be a very sensible plan, and he'd rather entrust his life into the hands of logic than bravery.
It wouldn't be difficult to lead the basilisk into the opposite area of the Chamber, but sneaking up on Tom would probably be a lot harder, especially as he didn't have his Invisibility Cloak.
Still, it was worth a try.
Taking a different direction than previously, Harry set off to lead away the basilisk to a place where it could 'safely' have the ceiling brought down on top of it.
Then, once he was sure that the basilisk had picked up his scent, he found a decent-sized rock and wrapped his robe around it, before using the weight of the rock to hurl the robes that were carrying his smell into the same direction that he'd been going. Silently breaking off from the path, Harry began to sneak towards Tom.
Thankfully, Tom didn't seem to have a lot of situational awareness, and was intensely focused on where he could hear the basilisk moving, rather than watching out for its prey.
So Harry actually made it all the way to the older boy before he noticed, and by then it was too late, because Harry had tackled him to the ground and was shoving his elbow repeatedly into the boy's nose, whilst his hands grappled for his stolen wand.
The fact that Tom was an immaculate student who'd been amazingly skilled at magic quickly proved to be a handicap for the boy, as because of this, he'd never learned to either give or take the proper punches that Harry had been exchanging with Malfoy on a semi-regular basis, and Harry was quickly able to wrestle his wand out of Tom's grip.
Then he sent another elbow into Tom's face, and turned towards the basilisk that was now advancing on their position.
Wingardium Leviosa wasn't designed for lifting pillars from their foundations, but Harry was a tiny little bit desperate, and the Chamber wasn't all that structurally sound anyway. One incantation later, and suddenly the ancient pillar shifted enough for cracks to form along the ceiling and walls.
And then the ceiling caved in. Along with half a ton of water that suddenly decided that it was needed inside of the Chamber.
It was only then, as he watched the tidal wave rushing towards them, that Harry realized that the Chamber must be directly beneath the Black Lake, and that he'd just destroyed the one thing that had kept them all dry.
Apparently, he wasn't as good at planning things through as he'd thought.
"Fawkes! Get Ron out of the tunnels!" He shouted at the phoenix.
It took him all of fifteen seconds to realize that perhaps he should've had Fawkes also take them all out of the Chamber before they were drowned, but by then that bird was already gone.
So, the basilisk was dead, Tom was disarmed, Ginny was still unconscious, and the Chamber was being flooded from a gigantic hole in the ceiling.
This day just keeps getting better and better. Harry mused absently.
Hurriedly grabbing Ginny's prone body with a levitation charm, he began to pull her away from the oncoming water, trying to think of a way that he could let both of them breathe rather than drown when the violently churning water would inevitably drag them underneath the surface.
His only real answer was 'magic', which was a stupid answer because it didn't actually tell him anything other than that it was important that he didn't lose his wand – which he'd already established as being important earlier.
Was there a spell that allowed you to breathe under water? Was there a spell that made you float? Was there a spell that made you capable of swimming really really well?
Harry made a mental note to ask Hermione if he got out of this alive.
Thankfully, the impact of the ceiling had definitely killed the basilisk, and Tom wasn't moving from the floor where Harry was pretty sure that he'd broken his nose, so all he needed to worry about was drowning and Ginny.
It was still plenty enough to worry about.
How do you deal with large amounts of water?
If he knew how, he could probably transfigure a boat, but that sounded like it would be fairly advanced and probably not something they'd learn until they were much older than they were currently.
If they didn't have to worry about drowning in the rising waters, they could simply wait until the Chamber had been filled and then swim out through the hole in the ceiling, but Harry had never even heard hints of such a spell existing.
So he'd have to struggle to keep above the surface, and hope that someone came to rescue him before they drowned.
Thankfully, as long as he could keep Ginny aloft with the levitation charm – a charm that he wasn't certain how long he could keep active – he would at least not have to worry about her drowning.
Seeing a ledge that seemed a suitable size for a body, Harry guided Ginny over to the ledge before laying her down as gently as possible. Considering that he was having trouble standing in the water that was rushing around his ankles, that wasn't all too gentle at all, but he'd hopefully not cracked her skull on anything.
Stumbling his way towards higher ground where he wouldn't have to worry about suddenly being swept away by the current, he wondered who exactly he was imagining would come to their rescue.
Fawkes was a distinct possibility, even if he had trouble seeing such a clearly fire-oriented bird rescuing him from such a water-oriented danger. And other than him there was... nobody?
Who knew where the Chamber was? Nobody. Who knew that they were in imminent danger of drowning? Nobody. Who knew how to get to them in time? Nobody.
Apparition wasn't possible on Hogwarts' grounds after all, and he didn't know anything else other than Fawkes that could get to them in time.
"Maybe I should've listened to Dobby and stayed away this year?" He wondered silently as he clutched onto a pillar for dear life as the water level reached past his calves.
There was a sudden, distinct 'pop'. "Mister Harry Potter Sir called for Dobby?" Asked a voice that sounded like a miracle all on its own to Harry's rather desperate ears.
"Dobby! We're drowning! Can you take Ginny-" He pointed towards the ledge where she lay. "and get us the bloody hell out of here!?"
The house elf looked extraordinarily happy all of a sudden. "Mister Harry Potter Sir is listening to Dobby? Is asking Dobby for help? Mister Harry Potter Sir is a great wizard!"
Harry didn't have time to remind the eccentric elf about their rather immediate concerns of drowning when Dobby grabbed a hold of his arm and the leg of the once-again-floating Ginny, and the world twisted in a most distinctly unpleasant manner.
But when he got his breathing under control and the dry-heaving subsided, they were in a corridor of Hogwarts. And they weren't looking like they were just about to drown.
Turning to the house elf that'd just saved their lives, Harry hugged him, thanking him all the while.
Dobby was most notably elated and horrified at his thanks, and seemed just about ready to start slamming his head into a nearby wall in order to sort things out inside of his noggin.
Of course, it was by then that Harry realized that he couldn't wake Ginny up, which meant that she was probably still having her life sucked out of her by Tom the Diary.
Hurriedly stumbling to his feet, he managed to convince Dobby to float Ginny behind him whilst he made his way to the Hospital Wing.
Sure, there might be a Professor who understood what was happening better than Madam Pomfrey, but the odds were that if so were the case, then the nurse could get that Professor to come to them.
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Story: [Harry vs Dragon]
Summary: The First Task, in a slightly more humorous way than normal. It really isn't fair that so many simply keep repeating the same way for overcoming the dragon, when there are so many different possible ways of doing so.
Genre: Humor
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Harry looked up, and then up a bit more, before finally locating the dragon's eyes.
He was most notably not thrilled by the amount of 'up' that was involved in looking his opponent in the eye. It was distinctly demoralizing actually.
Moody had suggested trying to out-fly it, which was kind of insane, but the idea of being more mobile in the face of something so obviously dangerous did make him feel better.
Hermione had suggested – mostly by accident and had then dismissed the idea as a possibility – using a Summoning Spell to summon the Golden Egg directly from the nest and then simply legging it.
Hagrid had said something about Norbert enjoying being scratched beneath some his spikes, which was probably useless, but not something that he was going to dismiss as inconsequential when he was this desperate.
The twins had told him that none of their pranks were designed for dragon-consumption, and that even if it would've been an amazing publicity stunt to turn such a fearsome creature into a canary in the middle of the First Task, it wasn't something that they'd be capable of doing. At least not for a couple of years yet.
Neville had simply turned really really pale and begun to hyperventilate, which Harry took as his cue to leave before the boy broke out into hysterics.
The faculty refused to help, stating that it would be cheating, which was frustrating and a lot more annoying than he'd expected. Perhaps it was simply because this year they actually had an excuse for being unhelpful, rather than simply being so out of incompetence or spite.
Malfoy had made some neat buttons, or at least helped distribute them – Hermione had commented that the spell-work involved wouldn't be covered by the curriculum until Sixth Year – but that was neither here nor there as far as dragons went.
Ron was off sulking somewhere, which was kind of a dick move, what with Harry's imminent demise and everything. The least he could've done before running off was teach him some secret traditional pureblood-spell that helped keep people from pissing themselves, since it'd be a shame for him to be both burned to a crisp and covered in piss. The smell alone of those two combined would've been horrid.
Hedwig had ruffled her feathers, giving the distinct impression that, if it wouldn't be classified as interfering with the task, she could've taken down that dragon with both her wings tied behind her back. He loved his owl dearly, but her delusions of grandeur rarely made her the best person to ask for advice from.
Dobby had told him that Standard House Elf Procedure when encountering a dragon was to 'escape, and hope that your master wasn't eaten when you ran away; if absolutely necessary, come back looking for a bit of the remaining ashes so that master's family can bury them in wizard-coffin'. This didn't help Harry's situation at all, though it was a bit relieving to find that there were some things that not even a House Elf would be crazy enough to risk their necks for without explicit orders.
Sirius's advice could be summed up as 'aim for the eyes, everything else is useless' and had given Harry good incentive for working on his accuracy, especially long-distance accuracy, because there was no way that he was getting any closer to a fire-breathing dragon's eyes than he needed to.
Crookshanks had completely ignored his plight, as he was far more interested in monopolizing some petting from Hermione than with Harry's survival. It was kind of expected of the ugly half-kneazle, but that didn't stop him from seriously considering kicking the cat across the common room when it decided to interrupt their studying session for this reason. Not that he'd even say so out loud where there was even the slimmest of chances for Hermione to catch wind of it, the girl was scary when she got protective.
Colin Creevey had thought that dragons would most certainly be impressive, and had requested that he pose for a shot at some point during what the younger boy was certain would be an easy win for the Boy-Who-Lived. Harry decided then and there, that Colin was crazier than Oliver Wood, and that it was of vital importance that he read up on ways of how to handle stalkers before the kid started building a shrine out of his discarded hair or something.
Ginny had stared at him for a long moment, blushed and then ran away. So Harry had hurriedly moved up the priority on handling stalkers on his 'to do'-list, and prayed that they'd teach him how to detect love-potions before anyone taught her how to sneak them into his food. He had enough problems as it was.
This had all basically created a plan which could be summed up as 'try to summon the Egg; when it fails, kiss your ass goodbye'. The fact that failure was included, not as a possibility but as an inevitability, was not comforting.
Then again, his plan with the basilisk had been 'swing the sword, hope that you kill it on the first hit, because you're going to be really really dead if you miss', so perhaps he was simply a pessimist at heart.
"Accio Golden Egg." He tried, but nothing happened.
A little bit disappointed that one of the organizers of the Task had some degree of common sense, Harry decided to just wing it.
It was probably in remembering the Chamber Incident that caused his choice in spell. "Obliviate. Obliviate, Obliviate!"
The dragon blinked stupidly down at him.
Harry took that as a good sign, and used the spell a few dozen times more as an extra safety precaution. If it was merely faking it, it might get bored with playing along and attack him. If it was actually working, it might help to remove as much of its instinctive attitude of 'kill squishy wizards' as possible.
Finally, the dragon slumped down over its nest, looking mildly confused about what was going on.
It was a spur of the moment kind of thing, but the idea that mind-magic apparently had some kind of effect on the hulking beast, made Harry turn a different set of spells towards the gigantic lizard.
Compulsions.
Nothing big, certainly nothing worthy of praise, really. Just leaving the Compulsion that it ought to not consider Harry as 'squishy wizard that taste good with ketchup', but rather as 'cool guy that I like'.
The dragon-tamers stared in awe as, in a bizarre twist that could only be attributed to the legendary Potter Luck, the dragon helpfully moved out of the way and nudged the Golden Egg that wasn't one of its own litter towards the cool kid. He could use a bit of a proper hoard, looking as scrawny as he did.
Harry carefully reached down to pick up the Egg, and was halfway into running the hell away from the ultra-dangerous magical creature that had just decided to show mercy, when he realized that he should probably say 'thank you'.
Sketching a hasty bow, Harry promptly did so. "Thanks, this is much appreciated." He motioned towards the medical tent. "But I really have to be going so-..." He trailed off, and then with a second sketchy bow, hurried off towards the tender care of Madam Pomfrey.
There was no way that it was healthy to go completely bonkers and hallucinate having a dragon give you a Golden Egg for no reason, he must've hit his head on something, better that the clever witch figure out how to fix that before his brain started leaking out through his ears.
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"How the hell did he do that?" One of the dragon-tamers finally asked.
"I-... I don't know..." Another one commented breathlessly.
A third one hummed thoughtfully as he stared at the dazed-looking dragon. "The Obliviate is a spell that – as long as it hits – always hits the target's mind. And the brain is in very close contact with the eyes, so... it's a guided spell that always hits the eyes of its target?" He gaped at his own conclusion. "I'm not sure if that's brilliant or insane."
"D-Do you think that it can be replicated?" A fourth one wondered.
"I'm more curious as to how long whatever he did will last." The third speaker admitted with an intrigued smile.
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Story [Houses of Hogwarts]
Summary: The Sorting Hat musing on the actual state of the Hogwarts Houses.
Genre: Horror, Drama
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So, do you want to be with the moronic jocks, the academic bullies, the xenophobic hypocrites, or the Nazis?
You might think that that's a bit harsh? Well, humanity is filled with nasty people, so I'm just really giving you a heads-up so to speak.
This is actually why inter-House relations is so down in the dumps, rather than due to the manipulations of crazy Headmasters or what not.
Ravenclaw, the House of learning and intelligence. They take pride in being the only House with any sense, meaning that every other House has to be filled with people without academic talent at all, and so anyone outside of Ravenclaw who shows any intelligence must be cheaters. It also means that every future position as researchers is going to be filled with Ravenclaws, which means that your fellow Housemates are both future coworkers and definite rivals. This all causes a very individual view of their loyalties, in that they're generally loyal to their own person rather than their House, and are perfectly willing to bully other members of said House in an effort to secure their own future position in society.
Slytherin, the House of ambition and cunning. They take pride in being able to manipulate people for their own gain. And who honestly wants to be friends with someone when they tell all of their Housemates that they're only using them? This translates into the fact that a true Slytherin can't have friends, and that any Slytherin who makes friends with another person is a target, a blight to be cleansed from the House's good name. The fact that racism runs rampant within its walls is actually not that important in comparison.
Gryffindor, the House of bravery and nobility. They take pride in never bending to the wills of others, meaning that they're stubborn. Unfortunately, since people who value bravery to the point of actually convincing themselves to act bravely as well are the kinds of people who will listen to grand tales of heroes and the like, making them generally also very sensitive to rumors. This means that they listen to rumors, and make their opinion based on this, before stubbornly refusing to let go of that opinion even when they're proven wrong time and again. This also means that they're perfectly willing to turn on each other, as they tend to leap to conclusions.
Hufflepuff, the House of loyalty and hard work. They take pride in being the House that accepts other people regardless of how or who they are, and for being loyal to their House. This is the House that keeps a united front. But it's also the House that tells its members that you can't trust someone who isn't loyal enough to get placed in Hufflepuff, so you'll only very rarely see a Hufflepuff willing to become anything more than casual acquaintances with an outsider.
Oh, there are various romantic relationships that sprout up over the years, oftentimes crossing the House boundaries. But there aren't any friendships that does the same. Because why would the Hufflepuff be friends with someone who betrays them? Why would the Gryffindor be friends with someone that their Housemates would bully them for knowing? Why would the Slytherin make friends at all and risk being ostracized by their own Housemates? Why would the Ravenclaw be friends with an idiot who's probably only using them in an effort to advance academically?
'Trust' is a word that Hogwarts and its students doesn't know, and it's a word that they don't learn.
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